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After-Dinner  Speeches 

And  How  to  Make  Them 


Speeches  Selected  and  Introduction 
Written  by 

WILLIAM  ALLEN  WOOD 


CHICAGO 

T.  H.  FLOOD  AND  COMPANY 

PUBOSHERS 

1914 


Copyrighted 

T.  H.  Flood  &  Compa»T 

19U 


SRIE 

m 

5'1493SV 


PREFACE. 

Looking  over  some  publishers'  lists  recently  for  books  of 
after-dinner  speeches,  I  found  only  three  volumes,  which  belong 
to  what  was  originally  an  expensive  set  of  books  published  four- 
teen years  ago.  It  occurred  to  me  that,  as  almost  every  one  is 
at  some  time  or  other  called  upon  to  make  an  after-dinner  speech, 
a  small  and  inexpensive  book,  containing  a  choice  new  selection 
of  speeches  by  some  of  the  best-known  speakers  and  by  others 
who  have  happened  to  **hit  it  off"  on  some  occasion,  would  be 
an  acceptable  addition  to  the  publishers'  lists.  I  found  dozens 
of  toast  books  consisting  of  short,  hackneyed  bits  of  verse  or 
prose,  which  are  as  useless  to  the  entertaining  speaker  as  any- 
thing well  could  be,  but  I  found  nothing  but  the  three  volumes 
which  contain  material  that  could  be  used  as  examples  of  the 
art  of  after-dinner  speaking.  As  good  pictorial  and  plastic  art 
is  not  copied,  but  is  original,  so  is  good  speech-making,  though 
the  student  of  either  studies  the  work  of  masters  in  the  same 
line  to  see  how  the  best  has  been  produced.  It  has  been  my 
object  to  reproduce  some  of  the  best  after-dinner  speeches  made 
for  the  purpose  of  pure  entertainment  or  to  impart  elevated 
sentiment  or  interesting  information  and  some  containing  timely 
discussion,  speeches  that  can  be  absorbed  without  too  much 
mental  effort,  to  serve  as  examples  of  the  art  and,  in  an  introduc- 
tion, to  tell  in  a  general  way  how  to  make  a  good  after-dinner 
speech.  Though  I  have  written  the  introduction  to  instruct,  I 
hope  I  have  done  so  in  such  a  manner  that  the  instruction  may 
be  accomplished  painlessly.  To  the  many  who  can  make  good 
after-dinner  speeches  without  instruction  or  example,  the  book 
may  be  diverting  as  entertainment  and  as  a  source  of  new  points 
of  view.  On  account  of  the  characteristic  freshness,  intimacy 
and  spontaneity  of  this  form  of  address,  combined  with  a  quality 
of  urbanity  and  good  fellowship  that  is  usually  lacking  in  mor« 
purposeful  addresses,  as  well  as  those  imaginings  of  social  spleiif 


PREFACE 

dor  it  seems  to  have  a  peculiar  power  of  exciting,  I  have  had 
much  pleasure  in  reading  the  best  examples  such  as  are  found 
in  this  book.  I  believe  other  readers  will  share  the  same  pleas- 
ure. Several  of  my  own  speeches  which  have  taken  well  I  have 
included  for  the  personal  satisfaction  of  having  them  in  print 
and  because  some  of  them  are  fair  examples  of  the  lighter  kind 
of  after-dinner  address  indulged  in  at  familiar  and  informal 
gatherings.  They  may,  however,  only  serve  to  emphasize  the 
truth  of  the  last  part  of  Mr.  Bernard  Shawns  dictum  that  "He 
who  can,  does;  he  who  can't,  teaches." 

In  most  instances  the  manuscript  or  copy  for  each  address 
was  left  just  as  I  came  by  it.  Where  applause  was  marked,  it 
remains  so.  Doubtless  the  speeches  not  so  marked  received  their 
due  share  of  approval. 

I  am  indebted  to  many  of  those  whose  speeches  are  included 
here  for  permission  to  print  them,  to  the  families  of  others  who 
are  deceased,  to  the  Century  Company  for  permission  to  repro- 
duce the  addresses  of  John  Hay  and  Joseph  Choate,  and  to 
John  Lane  for  those  of  Lord  Rosebery. 

WILLIAM  ALLEN  WOOD. 

Indianapolis,  January  5,  1914. 


CONTENTS 


After-Dinner    Speeches    and    How    to  page 

Make  Them WUlimn  Allen   Wood 1 

Our  Country Benjamin  Harrison 29 

The  President William  Howard  Taft 33 

The  Standards  of  Leadership Woodrow    Wilson 44 

Remarks  of  William  G.  McAdoo,  Toastmaster. 
The  Memory  of  Washington Jules  Jusserand 56 

Remarks  of  Edmund  Wetmore. 
The  Iroquois  Club James  M.  Dickinson 62 

Remarks  of  James  Hamilton  Lewis. 
Our  Guest Theodore  Boosevelt 71 

Remarks  of  James  Hamilton  Lewis. 

George  Washington Henry   Van  Dyke 80 

Abraham  Lincoln Benjamin   Harrison 85 

No  Mean  City Benjamin  Harrison 90 

Our  Profession — The  Law Joseph  Hodges  Choate 94 

The  Army Major-General  Leonard  Wood  107 

The  Day  We  Celebrate James  M.  Beck 115 

Changes  of  Porty  Years  in  America. . .  .James  Bryce 126 

Remarks  of  A.  Barton  Hepburn. 
Frankness     and    Friendliness     Between 

England  and  America Walter   Hines  Page 137 

The  Spirit  of  Self -Government Elihu   Boot 147 

Remarks  of  John  Claflin. 

The  Church Henry  Codman  Potter 156 

Eton    Lord  Bosebery 160 

Omar  Khayyim John  Hay 166 

The  Hasty  Pudding  Club Joseph  Hodges  Choate 169 

Noblesse    Oblige George  William  Curtis 175 

The   Colonies Albert  Edward,Prince  of  Wales  180 

To   the   Students*   Corps  and  the  Uni- 
versity of  Bonn Emperor  William  of  Germany  183 

Hands  Across  the  Sea George,  Prince  of  Wales 187 

The  Noble  Art  of  Printing George,  Prince  of  Wales 191 

India  for  Artists George,  Prince  of  Wales 195 

Bifle  Shooting George,  Prince  of  Wales 196 


▼i  CONTENTS 

PAOK 

In  Golden  Chains Lord  Coleridge 200 

The  Army Field-Marshal  Sir  Evelyn  Wood  204 

His  Majesty's  Ministers Lord   Morley 207 

Woman   Horace  Porter 213 

New  Orleans John  Hay 219 

Campaigning  in  Indiana John    Worth  Kern 222 

Remarks  of  George  T.  Buckingham. 

The  Joy  of  Life Oliver  Wendell  Holmes,  Jr. . .  234 

The  Press Whitelaw  Beid 238 

Our  Guests Edmondo  Mayor  Des  Planches  241 

Sport   Lord  Bosehery 243 

Golf   Lord  Bosehery 250 

The  Progressiveness  of  Ideals Henrik  Ibsen 253 

The  Eegular  Army  of  the  United  States.  Major-General  J.  Franklin  Bell  255 

The  Eesponsibility  of  Having  Ancestors.  Woodrow  Wilson 263 

The  Drama Arthur   Wing  Pinero 268 

Our  Countrywomen John    Hay 273 

Hail  Columbia Benjamin   Harrison 276 

Literature  James  Bussell  Lowell 281 

Harvard  Commencement,  1885 Joseph  Hodges  Choate 285 

The  Critic  of  Literature Leslie  Stephen 292 

Illusions  Created  by  Art Lord  Palmerston 295 

Our  Jealous  Mistress — The  Law William  Allen  Wood 299 

The  Law  and  the  Lady Frederick  G.  Fleetwood 313 

The  Spirit  of  the  Fathers William  Allen  Wood 316 

The  Else  of  Science  in  the  Pawpaw  Dis- 
trict    Meredith  Nicholson 325 

Remarks  of  George  Barr  McCutcbeon. 
Where  We  Come  From Newton  Booth  Tarkington. . .  334 

Remarks  of  John  T.  McCutcbeon. 

Corporations  h.  la  Mode William  Allen   Wood 338 

Welcome  to  the  Alumni Oliver  Wendell  Holmes 342 

The  Government  Back  Home Samuel  Balston 345 

The  Hoosier   Abroad George  Ade 351 

An   Introduction George  Ade 354 

At  "The  Sign  of  the  Smile" William  Allen  Wood. 358 

Indiana,  Incubator  of  Immortals William  Allen   Wood 368 

The  Exiles'  Toast Frank  Norris 373 

Your    Health William  Allen   Wood 376 

To  the  French  Navy,  and  Other  AddresseaBaytnond  Poincare 378 

Witb  a  Health  to  President  Poincar6,  by  King  George. 


AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES  AND 
HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM 

The  fine  flower  of  a  life  is  the  spirit  of  conviviality  and  good 
fellowship.  There  is  a  declaration  in  Ecclesiasticus  that  "glad- 
ness of  heart  is  the  life  of  men  and  the  joyfulness  of  a  man 
prolongeth  his  days."  This  lightness  of  spirit  is  not  only  an 
attribute  of  entertainment  for  entertainment's  sake,  but  is  often- 
times turned  to  practical  business  account.  In  the  business  of 
nations,  diplomacy,  where  the  finest  adjustments  of  external 
relations  as  well  as  of  personality  and  temperament  as  between 
the  representatives  of  different  powers  may  mean  much  in  many 
ways  to  those  powers,  more  is  spent  to  promote  sociability  and 
good  wiU  than  on  all  other  items  of  expense  put  together.  To 
illustrate,  France  pays  her  Ambassador  to  London  eight  thou- 
sand dollars  a  year  in  salary,  gives  him  his  home,  and  allows 
him  thirty-two  thousand  dollars  a  year  for  entertaining  and 
the  courtesies  and  graces  of  society.  The  British  Ambassador 
to  France  is  given  a  total  of  fifty-seven  thousand  five  hundred 
dollars,  besides  his  home,  most  of  which  is  used  for  social  inter- 
course. In  commerce,  too,  a  certain  amount  of  good  fellowship 
has  always  been  recognized  as  promoting  commercial  objects. 
Perhaps  someone,  some  time,  will  write  on  conviviality  as  an 
economic  factor.  Brillat-Savarin  barely  touches  the  subject  in 
his  Physiology  of  Taste.  The  highest  and  most  complimentary 
expression  of  this  sociability  and  good  fellowship  is  found,  it  is 
generally  agreed,  in  an  invitation  to  dine  and  to  enjoy  the  good 
cheer,  of  whatever  kind,  that  accompanies  a  dinner.  In  a  pleas- 
ant essay  entitled  Conviviality  Through  the  Ages,  Mr.  John  P. 
Mahaffy,  of  Trinity  College,  Dublin,  traces  briefly  the  begin- 
nings of  conviviality.  He  says,  "Horace,  in  a  well-known  pas- 
sage of  his  Ars  Poetica,  makes   the  first   starting  point  of 


2  AFTEE-DINNEE  SPEECHES 

civilization  to  consist  in  common  meals,  in  men's  eating  together 
peaceably  instead  of  devouring  their  prey  alone  in  dread  of  hos- 
tile interference.  Agrestes  homines — victu  faedo  deterruit 
OrpheuSf  dictus  ob  hoc  lenire  tigres  rabidosque  leones,  and  he 
goes  on  to  say  how  Amphion's  lyre,  that  made  the  woods  and 
the  rocks  to  accompany  him  in  orderly  procession,  was  but  an- 
other poetic  expression  for  the  same  thing.  Man  could  make 
no  progress  until  he  became  social,  and  the  most  obvious  way  to 
make  him  social  was  to  promote  comifion  and  therefore  more 
refined  meals.  The  carnivorous  animals  may  go  hunting  together, 
but  when  the  prey  is  secured  each  becomes  the  enemy  of  his 
neighbor  and  retires  with  whatever  portion  he  can  seize,  to 
devour  it  without  interference.  That  is  the  primitive  condition 
which  Orpheus  is  supposed  to  have  transformed.  *  •  •  It 
[conviviality]  has,  of  course,  a  material,  and  it  has  also  a  spir- 
itual side.  The  former  is  the  food  and  drink  set  upon  the  table, 
and  the  latter,  the  enhancements  of  the  meal  by  music,  recita- 
tion, conversation,  as  well  as  the  intermediate  elements  of  orna- 
mental serving,  which  frames  the  whole  in  flowers,  serves  it  on 
precious  plate,  compels  the  guests  to  adorn  themselves  in  har- 
mony with  the  rest,  and  so  makes  this  moment  in  human  life 
one  of  the  most  dignified,  as  well  as  one  of  the  most  agreeable, 
we  can  attain.  For  it  delights  many  appetites  and  higher  tastes 
at  the  same  time.  It  is  like  an  orchestral  combination  in  which 
several  kinds  of  instruments  play  their  part."  Relative  to  the 
spiritual  adjuncts,  Mr.  Mahaffy  says,  "Nothing  can  equal  the 
supreme  value  of  brilliant  or  interesting  conversation  at  a  feast ; 
it  even  makes  men  and  women  forget  their  material  wants.  The 
French  salons  of  the  eighteenth  century  were,  at  their  best, 
entertainments  where  the  most  trifling  refreshments  were  served, 
nor  are  these  mentioned  as  of  any  importance.  People  came  to 
talk  and  to  hear  good  talk.  *  •  •  The  main  addition  to  eat- 
ing and  drinking,  nay,  even  the  main  object,  to  which  eating 
and  drinking  should  only  be  stimulants,  must  always  be  social 
converse,  the  meeting  of  mind  with  mind,  the  hearing  what 
others  have  to  say,  and  telling  them  in  exchange  that  which  is 
pleasant,  if  not  instructive.    In  Homeric  days  the  duty  was  con- 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  .  0 

signed  to  a  bard  or  minstrel,  who  recited  the  adventures  of 
heroes  to  the  listening  and  drinking  company  when  eating  had 
concluded.    Such  entertainments  of  a  company  by  a  single  per- 
former are  still  common;  they  cannot  be  called  conviviality.'* 
Aftpr-flinTiftr  speaking  is  an  adjunct  of  true  conviviality,  and  is 
the  outgrowth  of  conversation  and  story-telling,  where  one's 
gifts  are  exercised  more  or  less  spontaneously,  rather  than  of 
recitation  and  minstrelsy,  the  latter  of  which  was  oftentimes 
original,  but  was  repeated  over  and  over  again  by  the  minstrel 
in  his  wanderings.    But  companies  have  become  so  large  and 
occasions  have  arisen  of  such  a  formal  character,  that,  like  the 
situation  where  one  of  a  company  recites  or  sings,  all  the  company 
attend  to  the  speaker,  whose  function  is  specialized  like  that  of 
the  recitationist  or  singer,  and  the  entertainment  is  meant  for 
all  the  company.    Then  there  is  the  further  development  that 
public  speeches  are  made  at  private  and  quasi-private  dinners 
and  that,  although  apparently  they  are  only  for  the  company 
assembled,  they  are  reported  by  the  press  and  are  given  to  the 
world  intentionally.    A  distinction  may  be  made  here  between 
those  after-dinner  speeches  which  are  very  intimate  and  personal 
to  a  particular  company  and  therefore  of  interest  only  to  it  and 
those  of  a  more  impersonal  and  generally  interesting  nature, 
without  private  features,  such  as  are  given  usually  before  larger 
companies.     The  latter,  especially,  are  the  subject  of  this  dis- 
cussion.    It  is  obvious  from  the  foregoing  that  preparation  of 
some  kind  and  more  or  less  of  consciousness  of  the  qualities  I 
am  about  to  mention  as  being  most  pleasing  to  one's  commensals 
(I  am  glad  the  late  dictionaries  have  removed  the  ** obsolete'* 
from  after  this  word)  are  as  necessary  in  after-dinner  oratory 
as  in  forensic  oratory.    On  that  account,  I  am  frankly  didactic 
in  presenting  these  qualities. 

Nearly  all  addresses,  both  social  and  forensic,  that  are  worth 
hearing  are  the  result  of  successful  training  or  are  carefully 
prepared  before-hand.  One  is  oftentimes  deceived  by  the  ease 
and  grace  with  which  an  orator  delivers  an  address.  Cicero 
said  of  Antonius,  **A11  his  speeches  were,  in  appearance,  the 
unpremeditated  effusion  of  an  honest  heart ;  and  yet,  in  reality, 


4  .  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

they  were  preconcerted  with  so  much  skill  that  the  judges  were 
not  so  well  prepared  as  they  should  have  been  to  withstand  the 
force  of  them."  To  use  a  modern  instance,  take  the  celebrated 
Chicago  Democratic  Convention  speech,  the  "cross  of  gold" 
speech,  of  William  Jennings  Bryan.  It  was  this  speech  that  se- 
cured him  his  first  nomination  for  the  Presidency.  This  is  gener- 
ally supposed  to  have  been  a  purely  extemporaneous  address,  but, 
though  its  delivery  was  not  prearranged  and  though  it  was 
given  almost  on  the  instant,  Mr.  Bryan  explained  its  origin  to 
a  reporter  thus :  *  *  I  had  begun  to  discuss  the  question  of  bimet- 
allism and  was  touring  the  South  and  West  making  addresses 
and  organizing  those  parts  of  the  country  for  the  national  con- 
vention of  1896.  In  the  Chicago  speech,  I  brought  together 
some  of  the  things  I  had  been  saying  elsewhere.  It  was  an 
extemporaneous  use  of  thoughts  and  diction  previously  employed 
in  the  South  and  West.  A  single  paragraph,  giving  my  defini- 
tion of  a  business  man,  was  about  the  only  new  thing  in  it.  The 
concluding  sentence,  'you  shall  not  press  down  upon  the  brow 
of  labor  this  crown  of  thorns,  you  shall  not  crucify  mankind 
upon  a  cross  of  gold,'  had  been  used  once  before.  Finding  it 
impressive,  I  put  it  aside  for  a  greater  occasion."  Many  so- 
called  extemporaneous  speeches  are  like  this  in  origin.  Unless 
one  is  particularly  skilled  one  should  not  take  any  chances  of 
boring  one's  hearers  by  appearing  before  them  unprepared.  An 
invitation  to  deliver  an  after-dinner  address,  or  toast,  especially 
is  an  invitation  to  entertain  and  enliven  the  audience,  not  to  tire 
it.  The  art  of  after-dinner  address,  technically  speaking,  is  the 
art  of  entertaining  by  matter,  method  and  manner  of  speech. 
We  are  chiefly  concerned  here  with  what  constitutes  the  charm 
in  each  of  these  ingredients  of  a  fine  speech.  Matter  appeals 
to  the  intellect,  in  both  its  serious  and  jovial  moods,  method  to 
the  emotional  understanding  and  taste,  and  manner  to  the  heart, 
so  far  as  a  differentiation  can  be  made  approximately.  Of 
course,  all  overlap  and  merge.  In_a  first  rate  after-dinner 
speech,  then,  we  expect  our  inteUeet,  our  taste  and  our  affections 
to  be  pleased. 

Good  compoflitiQn,-gQod  style — ^the  expression  of  thought  and 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  8 

feeling  in  words, — ^is  the  basis  of  good  entertainment  in  after- 
dinner  speeches.  The  use  of  words,  sentences  and  paragraphs 
is  governed  by  the  same  rules  as  in  other  composition,  and  as 
every  educated  person  is  familiar  in  a  general  way  with  their 
use,  I  shall  not  linger  on  these  details.  Mr.  Barrett  Wendell, 
professor  of  English  in  Harvard  University,  whose  discussion 
of  the  quality  of  "elegance,"  in  his  English  Composition,  I  am 
using  as  the  basis  for  the  first  paragraphs  of  my  review  of  the 
subject  of  charm,  particularly  of  charm  in  method,  says  that 
all  style  impresses  us  intellectually  and  aesthetically,  through 
the  corresponding  qualities  of  clearness,  force  and  elegance. 
Clearness  means  the  ability  to  make  one 's  audience  understand 
^perfectly.  Force  is  the  quality  that  holds  the  attention — it  not 
only  indicates  a  command  over  the  emotions  of  the  auditors  by 
denoting  the  meaning,  which  is  more  the  province  of  clearness, 
but  it  connotes,  or  implies,  by  suggestion  the  shade,  degree, 
or  kind  of  emotion  the  auditor  should  feel.  It  includes  such 
a  mastery  of  the  technical  methods  of  expression  and  such 
knowledge  of  the  audience  that  the  speaker  can  surround  his 
words  with  just  the  atmosphere  needed  to  make  them  most 
effective  under  any  given  circumstances.  The  attention  of  the 
reader  is  called  particularly  to  the  difference  between  connota- 
tion and  suggestion,  or  fore-shadowing  by  manner,  which  will 
be  mentioned  later.  Also,  every  speech  should  have  unity,  that 
is,  it  should  group  itself  about  one  central  idea;  it  should  have 
coherence,  that  is,  the  relation  of  the  different  parts -ef— the 
composition  should  be  unmistakable,  and  it  should  have  a  rela- 
tive proportion,  balance,  according  to  the  importance  of  the  dif- 
ferent divisions  of  the  subject.  The  introduction  and  ending, 
particularly,  should  not  take  relatively  too  much  time  in  this 
art  where  to  be  brief  is  usually  to  be  wise.  I  have  heard  after- 
dinner  speeches  which  were  aU  jocular  introduction  and  ending 
without  even  a  thin  sandwich  of  meat  between.  There  are  jus- 
tifiable exceptions  to  the  rule  of  balance,  however,  and  they 
are  probably  more  numerous  in  after-dinner  speeches  than  in 
other  forms  of  address  or  composition,  because  one  may  some- 
times find,  under  the  peculiar  circumstances  surrounding  one's 


6  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

appearance  or  the  occasion,  an  unusual  opportunity  to  entertain 
by  violating  to  some  extent  this  generally  safe  rule  of  composi- 
tion. One's  taste  must  be  the  judge  in  cases  of  this  kind.  In- 
troductions and  endings  are  oftentimes  more  or  less  personal, 
concerning  the  relation  of  the  speaker  to  the  audience  and  to 
the  subject,  and  they  should  not  be  dwelt  upon  sufficiently  or 
in  a  way  to  make  the  speaker  open  to  the  charge  of  egotism. 

As  was  said,  we  are  to  consider  charm  in  matter,  method 
and  manner.  Charm  in  matter  consists  in  the  selection  of  such 
subjects  as  are  not  offensive  to  one's  audience  and  that  have 
the  greatest  power  of  pleasing.  Charm  lies  in  the  fact  that 
one's  subject  matter  and  everything  pertaining  to  it,  and  also 
one's  purpose  in  presenting  it  are  agreeable.  The  finest  quality 
of  subject  matter  is  that  showing  a  large  sympathy  with  human- 
ity, both  in  good  and  evil.  This  sympathy  should  be  shown 
positively  and  not  negatively.  One  should  never  repeat  repel- 
lent or  disgusting  truths  and  fancies.  Even  subjects  that  would 
require  to  be  presented  euphemistically  had  better  be  avoided 
as  being  out  of  keeping  with  the  pleasant  mood  to  be  created. 
The  sensibilities  of  many  people  revolt  at  even  such  expression 
relative  to  subjects  they  do  not  care  to  hear  at  all.  I  am  speak- 
ing, of  course,  of  making  an  address  where  one  is  not  perfectly 
sure  of  one's  audience.  At  any  place  where  the  speech-making 
is  formal,  though  bearing  aU  evidence  of  informality,  one  should 
not  venture  into  subjects  or  illustrations  which  may  be  offensive 
even  to  one  of  the  company.  The  after-dinner  speech  is  a  place 
for  live  topics  of  timely  interest,  for  welcomes  of  one  kind  or 
another,  for  congratulations,  for  felicitations,  for  short  reminis- 
cences and  the  recalling  of  delightful  associations,  and  for 
those  smaU  items  of  personal,  though  temporary,  interest  to  the 
company  that  easily  engage  the  attention  and  warm  the  heart. 
Washington  Irving  has  said,  "Honest  good  humor  is  the  oil 
and  wine  of  a  merry  meeting,  and  there  is  no  jovial  companion- 
ship equal  to  that  where  the  jokes  are  rather  small  and  the 
laughter  abundant." 

The  continual  slight  novelty  in  matter,  method  and  manner — 
variety — ^when  not  too  disconnected,  has  a  charm  of  its  own. 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  T 

"Honest  good  humor"  and  ** jokes  that  are  small,"  provided 
they  are  rightly  used,  are  always  acceptable  and  entertaining. 
After-dinner  speeches  should  have  some  "body,"  however,  some 
unity  of  theme,  and  should  not  consist  merely  of  a  number  of 
jokes  loosely  strung  together.  The  jokes  should  be  apposite  to 
some  more  or  less  serious  thought  which  will  appeal  to  the 
intellect. 

Charm  in  method,  or  elegance,  as  Professor  Wendell  calls  it, 
is  the  quality  of  composition  that  pleases  the  taste,  the  quality 
that  grows  or  diminishes  with  the  discriminating  ability  of  the 
speaker  and  audience.  It  is  the  most  subtle  of  the  qualities. 
I  am  taking  for  granted  that  most  people  who  are  called  on  to 
give  after-dinner  speeches  will  not  be  troubled  too  much  about 
the  matter  of  their  speeches.  More  people  fail,  I  believe,  in 
method  and  manner  than  in  matter.  Elegance,  the  distinctly 
pleasure-giving  quality,  the  simple  decoration  or  lack  of  deco- 
ration that  ingratiates  the  speaker  with  his  hearers,  is  called  by 
some  beauty,  by  some  charm,  by  others  grace  or  ease  or  finish. 
It  is  the  final  quality  in  literature,  written  or  spoken;  it  is  the 
adaptation  of  means  to  purpose,  and  that  ease  and  freedom  from 
evidences  of  art  which  makes  the  finest  art.  Ars  celare  artem. 
We  are  conscious  of  elegance  only  by  subtly  feeling  the  won- 
derful ease  of  habitual  mastery.  Elegance  is  the  poetry  of  ex- 
pression in  prose.  As  Abbe  Roux  said,  "Without  eloquence, 
one  is  not  a  poet;  without  poetry,  one  is  not  an  orator."  John- 
son said  of  Addison's  style  that  it  was  "familiar  but  not  coarse, 
and  elegant  but  not  ostentatious."  Mr.  Wendell  says  that  the 
most  salient  trait  of  Addison's  style  is  its  politeness,  its  well- 
bred  restraint,  its  complete  freedom  from  any  manner  of  excess. 
Addison  had  sustained  urbanity  of  temper  and  his  style  ex- 
pressed it.  But  to  be  at  once  Addisonian  and  passionate,  says 
Mr.  Wendell,  is  impossible,  yet  passionate  expression,  the  emo- 
tional quality,  may  be  the  quality  that  pleases  the  taste  equally 
with  the  intellectual  quality  of  clearness.  But  the  emotional 
should  be  so  stayed  with  the  intellectual  that  it  does  not  slop 
over.  A  proper  balance  here  should  be  carefully  preserved. 
** Sometimes,"  said  Theodore  Parker,  "mere  emotion  impresses; 


8  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

but  it  soon  wearies.  Superiority  of  ideas  always  coinmands  atten- 
tion and  respect."  Real  poetry  of  expression  is  always  reserved 
to  an  extent  that  makes  the  reserve  felt.  To  become  an  orator  of 
high  artistic  qualities,  so  far  as  composition  is  concerned,  one 
must  cultivate  the  perception  of  what  is  fine  in  literary  art,  in- 
cluding what  is  well-balanced  as  between  the  intellect  and  the 
emotions,  and  must  have  the  power  of  appreciating  and  enjoying 
the  fine  qualities  in  the  work  of  masters.  The  secret  of  the  fine- 
ness of  poetry,  the  finest  form  of  literary  art,  lies  in  the  adapta- 
tion of  word  and  sound  to  meaning,  with  the  object  of  coming  as 
near  perfection  of  expression  as  human  power  can  come.  But 
being  more  or  less  poetic  in  one's  expression  and  quoting  poetry 
in  an  address  are  two  very  different  things — both  are  easily  over- 
done, especially  the  latter,  the  first  being  more  difficult  of  suc- 
cessful attainment.  Poetry  of  expression  in  prose  is  in  the 
nature  of  an  intellectual  and  emotional  climax,  and  should 
usually  be  handled  as  such.  We  all  know  how  tiring  it  is  to 
attend  a  grand  opera  and  to  hear  the  leading  singer  try  to  give 
the  same  emotional  value  to  all  passages — try  to  sing  to  the 
utmost  of  his  or  her  emotional  ability  every  sentence,  whether 
the  significance  of  the  sentence  calls  for  it  or  not.  The  lack  of 
contrast  soon  palls,  and  contrast  is  one  of  the  elements  of  relief 
that  enables  us  to  enjoy  sustained  entertainment.  So  poetry 
of  expression  should  be  used  discriminatingly  and  not  contin- 
uously, even  if  one  has  the  ability.  A  succession  of  quotations 
from  the  poets,  more  or  less  loosely  strung  together,  sounds 
like  a  compilation  and  soon  wearies  the  hearers.  This  is  a  more 
tiresome  fault  than  the  other,  and,  to  the  aesthetically  minded, 
such  an  excess  smacks  of  the  nouveau  cultive.  Particularly 
should  one  avoid  the  *  *  toasts, ' '  short  quotations  in  verse  or  prose, 
from  the  current  collections.  Persons  who  amuse  themselves 
incidentally  by  reading  that  sort  of  thing  are  already  familiar 
with  them. 

One's  manner  should  be  in  harmony  with  one's  meaning. 
That  is  the  note  of  sincerity.  Hazlitt  defines  manner  as  **the 
involuntary  or  incidental  expression  given  to  our  thoughts  and 
sentiments  by  looks,  tones,  and  gestures."    I  have  said  before 


I 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  9 

that  manner  appeals  to  the  heart.  It  is  by  a  man's  sincerity 
and  truth  and  warm  feeling,  by  his  consistency,  that  we  judge 
him  and  take  him  into  our  hearts.  Lord  Chesterfield  said,  * '  Look 
into  the  face  of  the  person  to  whom  you  are  speaking,  if  you 
wish  to  know  his  real  sentiments ;  for  he  can  command  his  words 
more  easily  than  his  countenance."  Hazlitt  adds,  **We  may 
perform  certain  actions  from  design  or  repeat  certain  profess- 
sions  by  rote.  The  manner  of  doing  either  will  in  general  be  the 
best  test  of  our  sincerity."  There  are  doubtless  actors  off  the 
stage  who  can  simulate  expression  and  all,  and  they  are  greater 
artists  at  after-dinner  speaking  for  this  very  adaptability, 
whether  they  actually  feel  what  they  are  saying  or  not;  but  in 
a  general  way  any  disparity  between  the  words  and  the  feelings 
of  a  speaker  is  detectable  in  his  manner.  We  have  all  heard 
speakers  enunciate  most  pleasant  words,  but  with  an  expression 
of  irony  or  sarcasm  or  other  inharmonious  feeling  that  really 
gave  the  lie  to  what  they  were  saying,  so  far  as  their  personal 
sincerity  was  concerned.  Truth  was  expressed  by  them,  but 
the  atmosphere  of  truth  was  absent,  and  the  truth  seemed  out 
of  place.  The  speakers'  eloquence  could  not  reach  us  because  we 
could  not  accept  the  speakers  themselves.  Inexperienced  speakers 
often  err  thus  by  attempting  that  half-humorous  minor  key 
in  which  so  many  accomplished  after-dinner  speakers  begin  their 
addresses  and,  because  of  inexperience,  or  lack  of  subtle  taste, 
produce  a  sad  discord.  La  Rochefoucauld  said  that  there  is  *  *  often 
as  much  eloquence  in  the  tone  of  the  voice,  in  the  eyes,  and  in 
the  air  of  a  speaker  as  in  his  choice  of  words."  This  is  true 
whether  one  speaks  to  entertain  or  to  persuade.  Lord  Chester- 
field said  that  "the  business  of  oratory  is  to  persuade  people, 
and  to  please  people  is  a  great  step  to  persuading  them." 
Whether  to  persuade  be  the  exclusive  business  of  oratory  or  not, 
we  can  accept  the  latter  part  of  Chesterfield's  quotation  with- 
out question.  Sincerity  and  consistency  are  necessary  to  our  con- 
fidence and  respect,  and,  except  in  the  lightest  of  professional  en- 
tertainment, these  latter  qualities  are  basic  and  necessary  to 
our  enjoyment  of  after-dinner  oratory.  At  times  when  I  have 
been  in  companies  where  professional  story-tellers  and  enter- 


10  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

tainers  were  engaged  to  amuse,  I  have  felt  as  if  I  were  at  a 
vaudeville  show  listening  to  monologists  rather  than  at  a  dinner. 
The  individual  responsibility  of  the  gentleman  who  lends  him- 
self to  the  entertainment  of  his  friends  after  a  dinner,  the  dig- 
nity and  reserve  he  must  maintain  even  in  his  wit  and  humor, 
the  genuineness  and  freedom  of  his  good  will  towards  his  audi- 
tors and  the  total  lack  even  of  a  suspicion  of  selfish  interest, 
are  a  part  of  the  real  charm  of  his  position.  Otherwise  some 
paid  entertainers  might  be  just  as  delightful  as  able  after-dinner 
orators.  If,  in  happy  mockery  or  harmless  irony  or  sarcasm,  a 
speaker  reveal  in  his  manner  that  we  are  to  understand  him  not 
to  be  sincere,  we  accept  him  and  get  whatever  amusement  we 
can  from  his  oratorical  fancies;  but  if  the  disparity  between 
the  words  and  manner  or  words  and  real  feeling  of  a  speaker 
is  unconsciously  revealed  as  a  truth,  our  disapprobation  of  man 
and  manner  spoils  any  amusement  there  might  otherwise  be  in 
the  speech,  unless  the  amusement  is  at  his  expense,  in  the  line 
of  ridicule,  and  such  amusement  is  not  whole-hearted,  being 
usually  tainted  with  pity  or  disgust.  As  in  the  theatre,  we  can 
be  amused  by  anything  obviously  meant  to  deceive,  but  we  take 
umbrage  at  any  attempt  to  impose  on  our  intelligence  by  false 
representations  or  pose.  To  quote  Hazlitt  again,  **The  manner 
of  doing  anything  is  that  which  marks  the  degree  and  force  of 
our  internal  impressions;  it  emanates  most  directly  from  our 
immediate  or  habitual  feelings;  it  is  that  which  stamps  its 
life  and  character  on  any  action;  the  rest  may  be  performed 
by  an  automaton."  It  is  not  safe,  however,  to  quote  Hazlitt 
further,  for  the  Englishman's  idea  of  a  happy  manner  would 
appeal  to  us  now  as  rather  a  low  comedy  idea.  In  America  **dry'* 
humor,  with  only  the  most  modest  of  gestures,  is  held  in  much 
higher  esteem  than  that  display  of  animal  spirits  accompanied 
by  a  tell-tale  facial  expression  showing  the  raconteur's  enjoy- 
ment of  his  own  humor.  Here  we  do  not  wish  to  have  indicated 
to  us  by  manner  how  we  should  feel,  for  we  may  not  agree  with 
the  raconteur,  nor  do  we  want  that  feeling  we  are  to  experience 
foreshadowed  by  his  expressions  and  the  surprise  of  it  lessened. 
We  expect  in  the  speaker  that  personal  detachment  from  his 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  11 

product  which  marks  the  greatest  artists  in  all  lines  of  art — 
we  are  interested  in  the  toast  as  an  exhibition  of  the  speaker's 
ability  to  express  things  which  entertain  us ;  we  are  not  so  much 
interested  in  the  man  himself.  Those  evidences  of  self-appre- 
ciation shown  by  some  speakers  and  those  indications  by  their 
manner  of  what  they  want  us  to  feel,  are  personal  bids  for  our 
appreciation  apart  from  the  merits  of  the  speech  itself.  The 
attitude  of  speakers  should  rather  be  that  of  submitting  their 
thoughts  and  expression  to  the  auditors  for  approval,  without 
the  superficial  arts  of  an  ordinary  vaudeville  performer.  The 
detachment  spoken  of  signifies  superiority  to  one's  material 
and  control  of  it.  It  is  not  agreeable  to  us  to  hear  a  man  con- 
vulsed with  laughter  at  his  own  jokes  or  to  see  him  possessed 
by  his  own  rhetoric,  or  to  hear  him  struggle  to  say  something 
"fine"  that  is  just  out  of  reach  of  his  clear  conception,  or 
beyond  the  grasp  of  his  mental  fibre,  or  too  much  for  his  limited 
vocabulary. 

We  sometimes  hear  it  said  that,  to  be  a  good  after-dinner 
speaker,  the  principal  thing  is  to  be  natural.  But  that  is  not 
true,  except  in  a  modified  sense.  For  just  as  a  grapevine  which 
is  properly  pruned  and  limited  in  its  ramblings  bears  more 
and  better  fruit,  so  does  the  speech  give  most  pleasure  which 
is  properly  balanced  and  condensed  so  that  we  get  the  full 
meaning  in  fewer  and  better  words.  There  are  many  who, 
when  "natural,"  ramble  over  much  space  and  say  little,  and, 
except  when  their  manner  of  saying  things  is  unique  and  attrac- 
tive in  itself,  they  produce  weariness  instead  of  stimulating 
interest.  It  is  well  for  a  speaker  to  be  natural  if  he  is  properly 
trained  in  expression  or  if  he  has  an  entertaining  method  of 
expression,  but  otherwise  he  had  better  cultivate  that  higher  nat- 
uralness which  is  art.  When  it  is  advised  to  be  natural,  it  is 
usually  with  the  thought  in  mind  of  avoiding  high-flown  ex- 
pression and  that  "fine  speaking"  which  corresponds  to  the 
"fine  writing"  mentioned  in  books  on  rhetoric.  While  it  is  not 
my  purpose  to  go  into  details  in  this  introduction  as  to  the  use 
of  words,  I  wish  to  call  attention  in  this  connection  to  a  common 
fault  in  after-dinner  addresses,  the  unsophistication  of  applying 


12  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

superfluously  descriptive  adjectives  to  persons  and  things  whose 
distinctions  are  matters  of  common  knowledge,  as,  for  instance, 
"the  illustrious  Mr.  Bryce,"  "the  immortal  Hugo,"  "the 
memorable  discovery  of  anaesthesia"  and  the  like,  except  where 
such  adjectives,  including  that  most  commonly  used,  "distin- 
guished," are  applied,  when  truly  applicable,  to  persons  present 
in  the  way  of  tribute  and  goodfellowship. 

I  have  heard  after-dinner  speakers  in  whom  even  defects  of 
speech  were  attractive.  Their  "natural"  form  of  expression 
assisted  in  entertaining — for  instance,  I  recall  a  speaker  who 
had  a  defect  of  speech  which  made  him  hesitate  and  sometimes 
slightly  stutter  when  he  became  a  little  worked  up,  and  this, 
happening  occasionally  just  before  he  made  a  point  or  discovered 
the  surprise  of  a  dialogue  or  joke,  produced  a  suspense  which, 
taken  in  connection  with  his  droll  expression,  which  likewise 
seemed  to  be  waiting  intently  on  the  point  or  surprise,  height- 
ened the  interest  in  those  who  heard  him.  But  instances  of  this 
kind  are  few  among  those  with  defects,  their  defects  being 
usually  as  impossible  to  proper  after-dinner  speech  effects  as 
are  the  "natural"  methods  of  expression  in  those  who  have  no 
training  in  expression  whatever.  I  except  from  the  latter  only 
those  in  whom  nature  is  art,  in  whom  there  seems  to  be  a  nat- 
ural felicity  of  diction — ^which,  however,  is  more  likely  accounted 
for  through  the  faculty  of  unconscious  imitation  than  of  nature 
pure  and  simple.  But  it  may  be,  if  one  is  inclined  to  philoso- 
phize about  it,  that  those  having  an  original  or  unique  point 
of  view  and  a  faculty  for  verbal  impressionism  which  illumines 
the  mind  with  that  radiant  visional  perception  which  a  fresh, 
discriminating  and  flashing  statement  of  truth  always  brings, 
are  in  reality  the  natural  speakers,  and  the  others,  having  the 
more  common  discursive  methods,  without  distinction  of  mat- 
ter, are  perversions  of  the  natural.  This  is  in  line  with  the 
thought  of  Whistler,  in  his  "Ten  0 'Clock,"  that  art  is  not  the 
product  of  civilization,  that  it  is  part  of  the  infinite,  and  reigns 
by  force  of  fact  and  not  by  election,  so  that  among  primitive 
peoples  there  was  no  article  of  daily  use,  of  luxury  or  necessity, 
that  had  not  been  handed  down  from  the  design  of  a  master 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  13 

craftsman,  and  consequently  all  was  beautiful.  The  amateur 
and  the  dilettante  were  unknown,  and  the  artist  alone  produced, 
till  a  new  class  arose — those  who  discovered  the  cheap  and  fore- 
saw fortune  in  the  sham.  The  taste  of  the  tradesman  supplanted 
the  science  of  the  artist  and  art  became  the  exception,  not  the 
rule.  It  is  interesting  as  a  speculation  to  consider  whether  the 
simple,  succinct,  direct,  poetic,  vital  eloquence  that  sometimes 
emanates  from  uncivilized  men,  where  we  have  well  authenti- 
cated instances  of  it,  is  not,  after  all,  the  selected  expression  of 
the  natural  artist-orator,  and  whether  a  large  part  of  the  inane 
verbosity  of  the  present  day  that  passes  for  eloquence,  particu- 
larly that  of  professional  platform  orators  who  speak  not  be- 
cause of  the  necessity  for  expression  or  an  impulse  to  be  agree- 
able but  for  the  commerce  of  the  Chautauqua  or  the  lecture 
course,  is  not  a  cheap  imitation.  This  more  primitive  eloquence 
seems  to  bear  about  the  same  relation  to  the  best  of  modern  ora- 
tory that  the  poetic  folklore  of  uncivilized  peoples  bears  to  the 
best  poetry — it  is  a  genuine  expression  of  beauty,  if,  perhaps, 
lacking  in  certain  refinements  of  form.  The  savage  does  not 
have  his  sensitiveness  to  beauty  dulled  by  the  multiplicity  of 
responsibilities  and  interests  that  affect  civilized  man.  It  is 
interesting,  also,  to  question  whether,  like  Phidias'  sculpture  in 
plastic  art,  the  grandeur  of  Demosthenes  and  the  charm  of 
Lysias  were  not  the  culmination  of  spontaneous  art  in  oratorical 
expression,  before  the  cheaply  imitative  became  so  common 
through  the  favorable  routine  and  monotony  of  a  relaxed  civili- 
zation. 

After-dinner  oratory,  to  my  mind,  differs  from  other  oratory 
chiefly  in  this,  that  it  is  meant  to  express  and  communicate  ex- 
quisite sensibility  and  intellectual  toleration  rather  than  energy 
of  will.  One  reason  why  many  orators  bore  us  is  because  they 
try  to  bring  our  energies  of  thought  and  will  into  antagonism 
with  our  energies  of  digestion.  To  produce  a  fine  intellectual 
sensuousness,  that  is,  by  words  and  suggestions  to  make  the  mind 
dwell  on  the  finer,  warmer  feelings  and  colors  of  existence,  by 
memory  of  experience  and  by  imagination  to  make  one  feel 
anew  the  pure  joy  of  living,  is  the  highest  business  of  the  after- 


14  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

diimer'speakerr  He  may  use  all  the  arts  and  tricks  of  rhetoric 
and  composition  to  accomplish  his  end.  He  should  be  master 
of  the  art  of  variety,  of  surprise,  of  short,  vivid  description,  of 
geniality,  suavity  and  of  all  other  elements  of  interest,  relief 
and  charm  that  are  useful.  He  should  be  master  of  the  art  of 
convincing  by  impressions  of  truth  rather  than  by  arguments. 
The  after-dinner  speech  is  a  place  for  gaiety  and  color  in  speech, 
for  kindly  faeetiousness,  wit,  humor  and  all  the  sesthetic 
amenities.  Aesthetic  efforts  become  more  or  less  conscious  with 
the  speaker  and  are  not  lost  in  moral  fervor,  as  in  oratory 
meant  purely  to  persuade.  Conscious  artifice  ceases  to  be  peurile, 
as  it  seems  in  more  serious  oratory.  All  we  require  is  that  the 
effort  of  our  speaker  be  successful,  that  we  be  entertained.  "We 
forgive  him  the  conscious  effort  the  more  readily  since  the  bet- 
ter we  are  entertained  the  less  we  notice  it  at  the  time — some- 
times realizing  later,  but  with  pleasant  recollection,  the  means 
used  to  command  our  attention  and  delight.  It  may  be  observed 
in  passing  that,  for  reaching  those  people  in  whom  the  process  of 
persuasion  is  from  the  feelings  towards  the  intellect,  as  it  is  said 
to  be  in  women  predominantly,  this  form  of  oratory  is  as  effective 
as  the  forensic  variety.  I  believe  an  infusion  of  it  into  the 
other  kind  is  the  most  artful  way  of  first  commanding  the  atten- 
tion and  good  will  of  any  audience.  Loss  of  dignity  and  of 
high  art,  if  any,  will  be  compensated  in  quickness  of  effect. 
Many  of  our  political  orators  have  combined  the  methods  to 
good  advantage. 

Some  things  to  be  avoided  in  after-dinner  speaking  are  the 
habit  of  apologizing  and  explaining,  malicious  or  offensive  irony 
and  satire,  unpleasant  fault-finding,  too  apparent  didacticism, 
giving  statistics  and  lists,  exhibitions  of  vanity  and  affectation, 
pretentiousness,  discussion  of  matters  of  purely  private  inter- 
est, a  mincing  fastidiousness,  undue  elaboration  of  detail — 
in  fact,  everything  negative  in  effect  rather  than  soothing  or 
slightly  stimulating  and  positive  should  be  avoided.  Variations 
of  subject  or  manner  introduced  for  the  sake  of  contrast  should 
be  handled  carefully  and  should  be  agreeable  in  themselves.  The 
element  of  contrast  is  perhaps  the  hardest  of  all  the  proper 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  15 

elements  of  interest  to  handle  agreeably  in  after-dinner  oratory. 

Since  the  art  of  the  orator,  like  that  of  the  actor,  is  ephemeral, 
disappearing  largely  with  the  disappearance  of  the  orator  from 
his  activities,  it  remains  for  him  to  produce  the  best  impression 
possible  both  by  his  creative  instinct  and  by  his  ability  to  elim- 
inate from  his  efforts  all  that  is  disagreeable.  Public  memory 
is  the  orator's  great  immortality.  He  has  the  advantage  of  the 
actor  in  that  he  expresses  himself  in  his  own  words,  while  the 
actor  is  repeating  the  expressions  of  a  dramatic  author,  which 
gives  no  clue  to  the  real  inner  personality  of  the  actor,  except, 
perhaps,  in  his  choice  of  one  variety  of  dramatic  composition 
over  another.  In  this  respect  he  stands  between  the  actor  and 
the  author  of  works  which  are  only  printed.  The  ordering  of 
the  speech  may,  of  course,  indicate  the  orator's  manner,  if  the 
speech  were  properly  delivered,  but  no  reading  of  it  can  give 
exactly  the  tone  and  manner  of  delivery.  With  the  advent  of 
the  phonograph  we  are  enabled  to  some  extent  to  preserve  an 
orator's  vocal  expression,  but  in  the  few  instances  where  I  have 
heard  both  the  speaker  and  a  reproduction  of  his  speech  in  a 
phonograph,  the  latter  has  appeared  stilted  on  account  of  his 
special  effort  at  articulating  distinctly.  The  charm  of  person- 
ality had  disappeared  almost  in  toto. 

Public  questions  should  not  be  discussed  at  length  in  after- 
dinner  speeches  except  by  those  who  can  give  the  speech  dynamic 
interest  by  their  possible  ability  to  influence  largely  changes 
they  recommend  or  disapprove  of,  or  in  connection  with  the 
relating  of  experiences  through  which  they  have  had  some  vital 
connection  with  the  subject  discussed.  If  President  Taft,  in  his 
Lotos  Club  address,  modestly  questions  the  interest  he  may 
have  for  the  company  because,  having  been  defeated  for  reelec- 
tion, he  is  to  assume  an  inferior  place  in  the  activities  of  the 
nation,  there  is  no  reason  for  a  practicing  lawyer,  a  school 
teacher,  or  a  merchant,  in  making  an  after-dinner  speech,  to 
air  at  length  his  comparatively  impotent  opinion  on  large  ques- 
tions, unless,  perhaps,  he  does  it  at  a  club  formed  to  advance 
some  particular  interest  or  subject.  Such  speeches  are  not 
dynamic,  even  if  they  are  timely.     At  such  mixed  companies 


16  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

as  one  meets  at  dinners,  the  variety  of  interests  and  even  pos- 
sible opposition  of  opinion  renders  it  bad  taste  to  dwell  and 
argue  on  one  line  too  long.  The  opinions  even  of  an  authority 
on  a  given  subject  are  not  to  be  aired  at  too  great  length  at  a 
dinner,  and  they  are  also  of  less  interest  on  such  an  occasion, 
as  a  rule,  than  those  of  a  person  able  to  strongly  influence  their 
use  or  disuse.  Opinions  on  public  questions  should  usually  be 
purely  incidentals  in  after-dinner  addresses.  Besides,  the  ideal- 
istic side  of  such  subjects  entertains  better  than  their  more  com- 
monplace, matter-of-fact  side,  provided  the  idealism  is  reason- 
able and  not  too  far-fetched — ^but  this  is  true  in  all  arts.  And 
idealism,  it  may  be  remarked,  often  beats  materialism  at  its  own 
game  as  a  practical  agent  for  getting  results,  if  results  are 
looked  for. 

Another  word  as  to  the  preliminaries  to  making  a  speech. 
It  is  much  better  to  prepare  a  speech,  either  by  making  notes, 
or  by  writing  it  in  full  to  be  committed  to  memory,  than  to  trust 
to  luck  or  inspiration  of  the  moment.  Continued  reference  to 
notes  while  speaking,  however,  with  long  intervals  between  par- 
agraphs, is  an  abomination.  If  notes  are  used,  one  should  re- 
fresh the  memory  just  before  rising  to  speak  and  not  during 
the  speech  itself.  There  are  enough  precedents  for  this  prepara- 
tion. Most  of  the  best  after-dinner  speakers  prepare  carefully. 
In  many  volumes  of  addresses  you  wiU  find  a  few  with  foot- 
notes which  say  they  were  prepared  for  certain  occasions,  but 
owing  to  circumstances,  never  were  delivered,  showing  that  to 
the  author  of  the  speech  preparation  was  customary.  Repeated 
experience  enables  after-dinner  speakers  to  prepare  in  a  short 
time,  and  their  efforts  often  seem  spontaneous.  But  if  it  is 
necessary  for  the  experienced  ones  to  prepare,  how  much  more 
necessary  is  it  that  the  inexperienced  should  prepare.  Many 
a  man  has  launched  his  speech  on  a  high  plane  to  which  he  was 
unaccustomed,  only  to  falter  and  fail  at  last.  I  have  heard 
others,  who  had  thought  of  a  few  good  things  worth  saying, 
exhaust  these  in  the  first  paragraphs  and  then  slow  down  to  dull, 
monotonous  drivel.  After  a  failure,  thinking  the  next  day  of 
the  bright  things  one  might  have  said,  one  is  likely  to  suffer  a 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  17 

feeling  of  disgust  with  oneself  for  having  made  a  poor  impres- 
sion and  having  neglected  an  opportunity  to  shine.  While  there 
is  nothing  more  delightful  and  charming  than  a  good  impromptu 
speech,  a  good  speech  made  without  preparation  by  any  but  an 
experienced  speaker  is  like  a  fine  picture  by  an  untrained  artist 
done  on  the  instant,  ''dashed  off"  as  it  were.  Both  are  "flukes," 
more  or  less.  An  after-dinner  speech  should  be  ''rich,  rare  and 
racy"  in  the  best  sense,  and  this  takes  preparation,  either  imme- 
diate or  by  long  experience.  Ease  is  the  result  of  preparation. 
The  after-dinner  speech  is,  in  a  way,  a  distinct  form  of  ex- 
pression just  as  is  the  short  story.  It  is  so  short  that  even  the 
longest  should  have  unity  of  impression.  If  one  undertakes  to 
"tell  a  joke,  make  a  platitude  and  give  a  quotation,"  which  are 
said  to  be  the  ingredients  of  a  good  toast,  about  several  distinct 
subjects,  the  speech  is  disjointed  and  even  the  most  inexpert 
listeners  soon  have  a  feeling  that  something  is  wrong.  The 
after-dinner  speech  is  as  much  more  a  form  of  art  than  the 
"set"  speech  of  considerable  length  on  any  given  subject,  as 
the  short  story  is  more  an  art  form  than  the  novel.  Of  course 
there  is  a  disadvantage  in  making  the  short  story,  the  sonnet, 
the  after-dinner  speech  or  any  other  form  of  expression  a  fixed 
type — the  disadvantage  that  the  variety  possible  in  subject  mat- 
ter is  impossible  in  the  form,  and  that  therefore  pleasure  in 
a  variety  of  forms  in  the  same  class  of  production  is  largely 
nullified.  However,  the  more  after-dinner  speeches  I  hear  the 
more  am  I  convinced  that  at  once  the  greatest  spontaneous 
pleasure,  and  the  pleasure  we  feel  we  are  right  in  enjoying  (fol- 
lowing Sainte-Beuve 's  idea  that  we  should  learn  whether  we 
are  right  in  being  pleased  with  a  work  of  art)  comes  from  those 
speeches  that  conform  more  to  the  type  I  am  describing.  But, 
if  the  after-dinner  speech  is  as  much  more  an  art  form  than 
the  "set"  or  forensic  speech  as  the  short  story  is  more  an  art 
form  than  the  novel,  on  the  contrary,  like  the  novel,  which 
usually  is  a  romance  or  has  romantic  interest,  and  unlike  the 
short  story,  which  may  or  may  not  be  romantic,  the  after-dinner 
speech,  at  its  typical  best,  is  idealistic,  full  of  that  romantic, 
idealistic  warmth  which  exists  between  men  and  women,  or  the 


18  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

equal,  if  different,  warmth  of  good  fellowship  which  exists  be- 
tween free,  unprovineial,  high-natured  men  of  the  world.  There 
must  be  action,  of  a  kind,  in  the  after-dinner  speech;  the 
orator  must  proceed  swiftly  from  remark  to  quotation  to  joke, 
or  whatever  the  particular  ingredients  may  be.  He  must  knit 
all  consistently  together,  unite  them  by  a  common  or  apropos 
thought,  without  too  much  delay  over  description,  characteriza- 
tion, argument,  a  succession  of  stories  illustraling  the  same  point, 
or  any  other  deterrent  to  a  continuous  and  well-balanced  inter- 
est in  the  speech  as  a  whole.  To  get  some  place,  mentally  speak- 
ing, within  a  reasonable  time-limit  for  an  after-dinner  speech, 
so  that  the  speaker  can  stop  when  he  should  be  done,  requires 
that  he  have  a  variety  of  incidents  and  expressions  all  related 
to  the  topic  in  hand.  A  redundance  of  minor  incidents,  how- 
ever, is  as  fatal  to  action  as  a  deficiency,  and  the  main  line 
of  thought,  in  all  circumstances,  should  always  predominate  in 
the  minds  of  the  hearers  over  any  incident.  Indeed,  here  is 
where  one  of  the  great  arts  of  after-dinner  speaking  lies — in 
keeping  a  variety  of  thought  in  proper  sequence  and  properly 
subdued  in  relation  to  the  main  theme.  This  requires  originality 
and  ingenuity  on  the  part  of  the  speaker. 

The  possibility  of  concerted  action  on  the  part  of  the  audi- 
tors, the  rising  to  drink  a  toast,  for  instance,  and  the  various 
ways  of  showing  approval,  increases  the  intimacy  of  this  form 
of  address  and,  with  its  other  characteristics,  makes  it  the  most 
intimately  human  of  the  formal  products  of  men's  brains.  It 
has  been  suggested  to  me  by  a  very  distinguished  man,  president 
of  one  of  the  foremost  universities  of  America,  that  after-dinner 
speeches  should  not  be  preserved,  as  being  an  attempt  to  make 
permanent  what  ought  to  be  ephemeral.  There  is  little  to  rec- 
ommend this  suggestion,  I  believe, — one  might  as  well  say  a 
painter  should  not  paint  flowers  because  they  are  ephemeral, 
or  that  we  should  not  preserve  fruits  because  they  are,  in  nature, 
ephemeral,  and  the  taste  of  the  preserved  fruit,  though  it  gives 
pleasure,  is  not  exactly  the  same  as  the  fresh  fruit.  There  are 
many  who  enjoy  reading  after-dinner  addresses,  who  get  more 
pleasure  out  of  reading  a  good  after-dinner  address  than  any 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  19 

other  form  of  speech.  The  intimately  human  quality,  the  ap- 
parent, if  not  real,  informality  of  the  address,  gives  it  an  appeal 
that  is  only  equaled  in  print  by  the  most  intimate  and  confiden- 
tial essays.  It  is  true  some  speeches  are  rather  hard  to  read — 
some  of  those  printed  here  are  not  easy,  unless  one  has  the  ora- 
torical spirit.  It  may  be  recalled  of  Fox  that  when  someone 
asked  him  if  he  had  read  the  speech  of  a  certain  parliamentary 
orator,  he  asked,  "Does  it  read  well?"  and  continued — **For  be 
sure  if  it  does,  it  is  a  very  bad  speech."  An  orator's  manner 
and  modulation  will  oftentimes  carry  a  particularly  long  and 
involved  sentence  to  its  end,  preserving  at  the  same  time  its 
meaning  in  perfect  clearness.  The  same  sentence  printed  may 
be  much  more  difficult  to  read  with  clearness,  at  least  on  first 
reading.  An  orator,  or  one  having  the  oratorical  spirit,  can 
usually  get  the  orator's  "swing"  and  so  get  the  proper  expres- 
sion and  the  thought  on  first  reading.  The  long  sentence  may, 
at  times,  be  necessary  to  get  all  the  modifications  of  the  thought 
to  be  expressed.  It  may  be  also  more  melodious.  A  long  se- 
quence of  choppy  sentences  is  irritating,  and  soon  destroys  the 
comfortable,  informal  rhythm  of  a  speech.  Rhythmical  exact- 
ness, however,  is  not  desirable  in  an  after-dinner  speech,  for  the 
speech  must  be  characterized,  to  be  more  humanly  interesting,  by 
a  certain  freedom  or  looseness  of  style.  An  after-dinner  speech 
with  the  comparative  rhythmical  exactness  of  Lincoln's  Gettys- 
burg address,  for  instance,  would  not  be  successful  in  the  sense 
I  mean.  There  would  be  too  much  sublimity  for  the  occasion, 
though  sublimity  in  an  after-dinner  speech  may  be  attained 
and  be  acceptable  in  a  mildly  impassioned  climax,  exhibiting 
a  high  order  of  thought,  if  the  speaker  is  careful  to  let  his  hear- 
ers down  again.  An  after-dinner  speech  is,  I  believe,  the  bet- 
ter for  a  short  climax  of  feeling  oratory  or  tasteful  rhetoric, 
but  the  audience  should  be  brought  safely  to  earth  again  before 
the  speaker  sits. 

The  short,  concise  toast  of  the  type  given  at  the  banquets  of 
the  Royal  Academy  of  Arts,  of  London,  examples  of  which  are 
contained  in  this  book,  is  not  an  after-dinner  speech  in  the  best 
American  sense.    An  American  likes  a  plateful  rather  than  a 


20  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

single  bite  of  any  delectable  intellectual  morsel.  'There  are  in 
America,  however,  too  many  after-dinner  speakers  who  try  to 
supply  a  whole  intellectual  meal  in  one  speech,  and  that  without 
variety.  Royal  Academy  audiences  are,  however,  almost  ideal 
in  their  responsiveness  and  sympathy,  and  are  even  quicker, 
I  believe,  than  most  American  companies  to  applaud  and  cheer 
what  they  like.  It  should  be  noted  that  the  spirit  of  an  occa- 
sion has  to  be  met  not  only  by  a  speaker  but  also  by  his  audi- 
ence. It  is  not  fair  in  an  audience  to  compel  a  speaker  to  try 
to  force  approval.  Sometimes,  therefore,  a  speaker  fails  when 
it  is  no  fault  of  his  own.  An  able  speaker  who  has  carefuUy 
prepared  a  speech  has  a  right  to  be  disappointed  if  there  is  no 
responsiveness.  A  cold,  clammy  audience  is  the  hete  noire  of 
the  postprandial  orator,  who,  of  aU  orators,  is  supposed  to 
be  in  a  most  hospitable  atmosphere.  I  have  been  to  but  few 
dinners,  however,  where,  with  the  advent  of  the  coffee  and 
Havanas,  the  company  did  not  relax  into  appreciative  attention 
that  was  oftentimes  emphasized  by  applause. 

For  those  who  are  timid  when  called  on  for  a  toast,  the  best 
advice  I  know  is  that  given  by  Arthur  Balfour  in  another  con- 
nection, "Always  have  your  audience  and  never  yourself  be- 
fore your  mind  when  you  are  making  your  speech."  Further- 
more, don't  attempt  to  talk  of  something  of  which  you  know 
little  or  nothing.  The  man  whose  mind  is  full  of  a  subject  is 
in  a  fair  way  towards  ease  in  presenting  that  subject.  Many 
speakers  are  so  engrossed  with  the  matter  and  method  of  their 
speeches  when  presenting  them  that  they  have  little  room  for 
self -consciousness.  One  should  strive,  then,  for  that  poise  where 
the  presentation  of  one's  thoughts  and  where  one's  audience 
occupy  the  major  part  of  one's  mind  to  the  subduing  of  active 
self -consciousness  which  results  in  confusion.  The  most  effective 
deterrent  to  independence  in  speaking  is  the  habit  of  using  notes 
while  speaking.  I  have  doubt  as  to  their  utility  even  as  an  assist- 
ance to  a  beginner,  as  the  basis  of  the  art  of  after-dinner  speak- 
ing is  an  attitude  of  mind  with  which  notes  are  bound  to  inter- 
fere as  soon  as  one  is  on  one's  feet. 

The  speeches  contained  in  this  book  were  selected  for  a 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  21 

variety  of  reasons.  They  were  not  always  selected  because  they 
are  the  best  examples  of  the  art  of  after-dinner  speechmaking, 
though  most  of  them  are.  In  several  of  them  will  be  found 
comments  apropos  of  this  type  of  speech.  Some  of  the  speeches 
are  more,  some  less  formal.  Some  of  those  made  at  the  dinners 
of  the  Indiana  Society  of  Chicago  and  at  college  society  dinners 
contain  humorous  or  whimsical  fooling  that  is  expected  on  these 
semi-formal  occasions.  The  Clover  Club  and  the  Gridiron  Club 
have  been  famous  for  speeches  of  this  kind,  but  their  speeches 
have  always  been  unavailable  for  printing.  On  such  occasions 
as  are  celebrated  by  societies  of  this  kind,  plays  of  fancy,  extrav- 
agant humor,  displays  of  sophisticated  worldliness,  an  exaggera- 
tion of  the  virtues  and  importance  of  the  participants,  and  a 
pardonable  exhibition  of  sectional  or  society  pride  accompany 
the  speeches,  to  the  delight  of  the  company.  Men  of  national 
renown  forget  their  dignity  at  such  times  and  unbend  to  the 
demands  of  the  occasion. 

Though  I  am  not  fitted  by  investigation  to  be  the  historian 
of  convivial  feasts  and  although  I  do  not  know  positively  that 
our  current  feasts  and  frolics,  in  which  hosts  and  guests,  men 
alone,  take  part,  such  as  those  conducted  by  the  Gridiron  Club, 
the  Indiana  Society  of  Chicago,  the  college  fraternity  to  which  I 
belong,  and  a  few  other  societies,  are  unique  and  strictly  modern, 
I  believe  them  to  be  so.  Entertainments  have  been  given  in  con- 
nection with  feasts  from  time  immemorial,  but  these  have 
been  given,  as  a  rule,  by  engaged  entertainers  of  one  kind  or 
another  for  the  benefit  of  the  hosts  and  guests  and  not  by  the 
hosts  and  guests  themselves.  Jokes  have  been  perpetrated  by 
banqueters  themselves  to  enliven  their  dinners,  as  we  recall  in 
the  instance  cited  by  Benvenuto  Cellini  in  his  Autobiography, 
of  the  feast  in  which  himself,  Michel  Agnolo,  the  Sienese  sculp- 
tor, and  other  artists  belonging  to  the  society  of  painters, 
sculptors  and  goldsmiths  had  part,  but  these  have  been  inciden- 
tal and  isolated  instances.  At  this  dinner  the  part  of  the  enter- 
tainment previously  prepared  by  the  company  for  their  own  en- 
tertainment consisted  chiefly  of  sonnets  they  themselves  had 
written.     Such  well-organized,  elaborate  and  previously  pre- 


22  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

pared  entertainments,  with  some  leeway  for  the  conceit  and 
impulse  of  the  moment,  given  year  after  year,  in  which  hosts 
and,  occasionally,  their  guests,  take  part  at  men's  dinners  in 
America  are,  so  far  as  I  have  been  able  to  learn,  peculiar  to 
this  time  and  to  our  people.  At  the  Gridiron  dinners  held  in 
Washington,  members  of  the  Gridiron  Club,  which  is  composed 
mostly  of  newspaper  men,  impersonate  men  of  national  prom- 
inence and  take  off  current  events  in  a  humorous  way.  Usually 
the  men  impersonated  are  present  as  guests,  including  the  Presi- 
dent, Cabinet  members,  diplomats,  senators,  congressmen,  other 
officials  and  foreign  guests.  Rather  elaborate  properties  are 
sometimes  used  in  pulling  off  stunts.  At  the  banquet  of  the 
Gridironers  a  month  before  Wilson  went  into  office,  the  prin- 
cipal stunt  was  a  mock  inauguration.  The  inauguration  proces- 
sion consisted  of  a  detachment  of  the  New  Jersey  National 
Guard,  a  club  of  Princeton  professors,  a  contingent  of  Southern 
colonels  hurrahing  for  the  "Solid  South,"  the  Eata  Bita  Pie 
college  fraternity,  the  Tammany  phalanx,  the  "In-Bad  Club" 
and  a  squad  of  suffragettes  making  clamor.  When  the  din  sub- 
sided the  impersonator  of  the  President-elect  declared  he  didn't 
think  much  of  the  parade,  inquiring  the  whereabouts  of  the 
Champ  Clark  Houn'  Dog  Club.  The  new  president  was  obliged 
to  be  content  with  his  inauguration,  however,  and  was  presented 
with  a  golden  gridiron.  He  was  assured  that  this  being  an  era 
of  economy  and  reform,  he  would  have  to  serve  without  salary 
and  traveling  expenses. 

Hardly  had  the  guests  turned  again  to  their  terrapin  when 
entrance  was  demanded  and  achieved  by  the  Sigma-Pi-Pi-Sigma 
fraternity  of  the  Yale  law  school,  which  insisted  on  initiating 
two  new  members  to  the  club.  The  dinner  was  suspended  for 
the  ceremony.  The  neophytes  were  "Mr.  William,  of  Cincin- 
nati," and  "Mr.  Theodore,  of  Oyster  Bay,"  to  be  known  in  the 
order,  respectively,  as  "Brother  Bill"  and  "Brother  Teddy." 
A  discord  in  the  band  was  explained  by  the  inability  of  the 
neophytes  to  agree  on  a  marching  tune,  one  demanding  the  only 
tune  he  knew,  "A  Hot  Time  in  the  Old  Town  Tonight,"  and  the 
other  wanting  "Keller's  Hymn  of  Peace." 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  23 

Then  there  was  disclosed  the  room  where  cabinet  meetings 
are  held.  The  President  entered  and  inquired,  "Where  is  my 
cabinet?" 

**He  will  soon  be  here,"  replied  the  secretary. 

"  He  ?  You  mean  they.  For  that  error  of  grammar  you  will 
translate  five  extra  pages  of  Homer, '  *  retorted  Mr.  Wilson.  The 
cabinet  arrived,  and  it  soon  appeared  that  all  the  nine  cabinet 
officers  bore  the  features  of  William  Jennings  Bryan,  The  Presi- 
dent conducted  his  first  cabinet  council  on  the  lines  of  a  faculty 
meeting,  and  called  on  members  for  theses.  As  they  sat  about 
the  cabinet  board.  Secretary  of  State  Bryan  was  reminded  that 
he  had  never  before  attended  a  cabinet  meeting.  He  admitted 
he  had  not,  but  added,  ''I  have  made  three  attempts  at  it." 
Secretary  of  the  Treasury  Bryan  declared  he  had  not  had  a 
financial  idea  since  1896.  Secretary  of  War  Bryan  declared  he 
he  was  not  Mr.  Wilson's  Secretary  of  War,  but  his  own  Secre- 
tary; that  he  was  not  in  Mr.  Wilson's  cabinet,  but  in  his  own 
cabinet.  Secretary  of  the  Navy  Bryan  favored  no  more  battle- 
ships until  Lincoln,  Neb.,  became  a  seaport.  Attorney-General 
Bryan,  residuary  legatee  of  four  hundred  incomplete  prosecu- 
tions, declared  his  trust  policy  to  be  "to  bust  those  we  can't 
trust,  and  trust  those  we  can't  bust,"  and  explained  that  when 
a  trust  was  reorganized  "the  small  stockholders  lose  their  stock 
quicker. ' ' 

The  real  trouble  began  when  President  Wilson  undertook  to 
frame  his  message,  as  the  Bryan  cabinet  insisted  on  relieving 
him.  Many  good  topics  were  declared  to  be  reserved  for  four 
years,  such  as  Philippine  independence,  government  ownership 
of  telegraphs  and  penny  postage.  But  the  cabinet  agreed  that 
for  present  consideration  it  might  take  up  the  protection  of  the 
fur  seal ;  the  abolition  of  the  turkey  trot  at  inaugural  balls,  civil 
service  reform  and  the  rule  of  "the  people."  And  as  the  cab- 
inet meeting  broke  up,  each  member  left  in  the  President's  hand 
a  little  memorandum  to  this  effect : 

"The  thing  to  bear  down  on  hard  is  one  four-year  term  for 
the  President  of  the  United  States." 

An  incident  to  the  drinking  of  the  single  toast  of <  the  din- 


24  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

ner,  "To  the  President  of  the  United  States,"  was  the  bestowal 
on  President  Taft  of  a  large  gold  gridiron  bearing  this  inscrip- 
tion, * '  To  William  Howard  Taft,  President  of  the  United  States, 
as  a  token  of  Friendship  from  the  Gridiron  Club  of  Washing- 
ton, February  1,  1913." 

At  these  dinners  guests  are  sometimes  called  on  for  im- 
promptu remarks  on  some  subject,  humorously  stated,  and  are 
otherwise  worked  into  the  proceedings,  all  of  which  are  con- 
ducted with  a  mock  formality.  Guests  who  are  called  upon  are 
expected  to  enter  into  the  spirit  of  the  occasion  and  are  never 
permitted  to  be  tedious.  They  are  promptly  called  down  on 
some  plausible  excuse  if  they  become  so — sometimes  they  are 
called  down  when  they  are  not  tedious.  The  resourcefulness  and 
tact  necessary  on  an  occasion  of  this  sort  requires  an  expert 
master  of  ceremonies. 

The  introductions  made  by  the  several  toastmasters  quoted 
herein  will  give  ideas  to  other  toastmasters  as  to  the  general 
nature  of  such  introductions.  Introductions  should  usually  be 
short,  except  in  those  cases  where  the  toastmaster  is  expected 
to  start  the  ceremonies  with  a  speech  on  his  own  account,  as  in 
the  case  of  the  Harvard  Commencement  address  by  Mr.  Choate, 
which  is  included  here.  It  is  not  too  much  to  say  that,  whenever 
possible — and  it  is  usually  possible  except  where  the  toastmaster 
presides  by  virtue  of  holding  some  other  office — the  toastmaster 
should  be  selected  with  the  same  care  as  the  other  speakers. 
Sometimes  an  officer  does  not  care  to  preside  as  toastmaster,  but 
introduces  another  as  toastmaster  in  a  few  appropriate  words, 
as  in  examples  given  herein.  Indications  are  frequent,  in  the 
introductions  and  proceedings,  of  the  customs  at  American  din- 
ners after  the  speaking  has  begun  and  only  the  embellishments 
of  the  dinner  are  left  for  a  sort  of  ocular  feast  to  accompany  the 
"feast  of  wit  and  flow  of  soul." 

Incidentally,  I  may  relate  one  version  of  the  origin  of  toast- 
masters  and  toast  lists.  In  the  City  Press,  London,  in  the  issue 
of  June  fourth,  1879,  there  appeared  the  following:  "It  is  said 
that  at  one  of  the  banquets  of  the  Old  East  India  Company,  the 
Duke  of  Cambridge,  who  was  always  partial  to  dining  in  the 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  25 

city,  had  to  speak.  Mr.  Toole,  who  was  one  of  the  officials  of 
the  company  and  a  man  by  no  means  wanting  in  confidence, 
said:  'Some  of  the  gentlemen  have  some  difficulty  in  hearing 
your  Royal  Highness;  shall  I  give  out  what  the  toast  is?'  The 
practice  was  found  to  be  so  convenient  that  it  was  repeated  on 
many  future  occasions  and  Mr.  Toole  developed  into  the  great 
'City  Toastmaster.'" 

I  cannot  close  this  introduction  without  making,  in  behalf 
of  after-dinner  speakers  in  general,  an  appeal  to  hosts  and  ban- 
quet committees  to  observe  the  principles  of  gastronomy  in  serv- 
ing their  feasts.  I  do  this  because  I  recall  several  instances 
of  self-sacrifice  on  the  part  of  speakers  which  should  not  be  nec- 
essary at  any  time.  A  distinguished  orator  of  whom  I  have 
heard  was  said  to  refrain  from  the  pleasures  of  the  table,  except, 
perhaps,  a  wafer  and  a  cup  of  coffee,  when  he  was  to  speak,  in 
order  to  be  sure  of  his  mental  condition,  undisturbed  by  an  over- 
burdened and  inactive  stomach.  In  the  days  of  his  prime,  din- 
ners were  oftener  heavy  and  conceived  more  from  the  standpoint 
of  nourishment  than  from  that  of  unique  and  delightful  fla- 
vors. Occasionally  we  still  come  across  such  dinners  and  we 
still  have  after-dinner  speakers  who  sacrifice  half  of  their  pos- 
sible enjoyment  in  order  to  be  better  able  to  please  their  com- 
mensals. Dinners  as  entertainment  are  not  given  primarily  to 
nourish  the  guests  but  to  provide  unique,  delicate  and  contrast- 
ing flavors  and  odors  in  easily  digestible  foods  which  combine 
well.  If  the  proper  foods  are  served,  good  digestion  has  an 
ally  in  the  customary  menu  card.  It  has  been  demonstrated, 
by  the  Russian  Dr.  Pawlow,  that  food  given  in  smaller  quan- 
tities at  intervals,  as  in  our  course  dinners,  excites  the  secretion 
of  a  much  stronger  gastric  juice,  thereby  promoting  digestion, 
than  food  served  in  "family"  style,  which  favors  the  bolt- 
ing of  food  and  the  sacrifice  of  flavor  to  ravenous  habits,  which 
are  always  followed  by  dullness.  Flavor  itself  is  the  excitant 
of  the  digestive  processes,  as  psychologists  have  shown,  and  the 
host  who  would  offer  to  guests  as  entertainment  a  dinner  with 
a  minimum  of  flavor  would  deserve,  if  there  were  after-dinner 
speeches,  to  have  those  guests  on  the  program  deliver  a  few 


26  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

pages  from  an  algebra,  from  the  Patent  Oflfice  Report,  and  from 
other  like  informing  but  unentertaiaing  sources.  Mr.  Henry 
T.  Finek,  our  American  Brillat-Savarin,  quotes,  without  vouch- 
ing for  its  truth,  from  a  German  writer  who  claims  for  Germany 
the  origin  of  the  menu  card.  It  is  related  that,  "at  a  meeting 
of  the  Reichstag  in  Regensburg,  in  1541,  Count  Hugo  of  Mont- 
fort  noticed  one  day  at  a  banquet  that  the  host,  Duke  Heinrich 
von  Braunschweig,  had  before  him  a  Zettel,  or  slip  of  paper, 
which  he  glanced  at  now  and  then.  Being  questioned,  the  Duke 
replied  that  it  was  a  list  of  dishes  that  were  to  be  served  made 
for  him  by  the  chef  so  that  he  might  save  his  appetite  for  those 
which  he  liked  best."  Montaigne  records  that  the  Roman 
Emperor  Geta  would  have  all  his  dishes  served  at  the  table  in 
order  according  to  the  first  letters  of  their  names;  as,  for 
example,  those  that  began  with  M :  "mouton,  marcassin,  merlus, 
marsoin,"  etc.,  were  all  served  together;  and  so  of  all  the  rest. 
I  have  seen  it  stated  that  this  device  was  used  by  Geta  in 
order  to  roughly  foretell  what  would  be  coming  later  iu  order 
to  save  his  appetite  for  those  viands  he  preferred.  As  Mr. 
Finck  says,  the  story  gives  the  reason  for  a  menu  at  every 
table  d'hote  meal,  but  I  have  a  feeling  that  it  can  serve  a 
higher  purpose  as  an  exciter  of  interest  and  appetite  for  what 
is  to  come  and  as  a  reminder  of  gastronomic  delights,  especially 
as  a  well-selected  and  well-balanced  menu  is  likely  to  appeal 
to  the  taste  of  practically  all  the  diners,  and  the  normal  man 
can  enjoy  all  the  courses  without  damaging  his  digestion  or 
lessening  his  mental  activity  appreciably.  The  aesthete  is  not 
much  more  likely  to  save  his  appetite  for  one  dish  in  a  properly 
arranged  meal,  and  to  concentrate  his  interest  there,  than  is  a 
music  lover  to  promenade  during  a  concert  program  except 
when  his  favorite  compositions  are  being  played.  Besides, 
appetite  has,  to  a  certain  extent,  a  cumulative  quality,  and 
if  the  diner  has  partaken  of  the  proper  viands  before,  he  is 
likely  to  have  the  keener  appetite  for  his  favorite  dish  when 
it  is  served.  The  serving  of  foods  at  intervals  according  to 
a  menu  also  fits  another  gastronomic  ideal,  for  it  permits  the 
diner  to  intersperse  the  meal  with  conversation  without  inter- 


HOW  TO  MAKE  THEM  27 

fering  with  his  enjoyment  of  the  morsels  before  him.  No  epicure 
attempts  to  eat  and  converse  at  length  at  the  same  time,  for  the 
aroma  and  taste  of  food  are  only  released  by  manipulating  the 
food  in  the  mouth,  an  act  which  makes  conversation  impossible 
for  the  moment.  The  enjoyment  of  food  is  unlike  the  enjoyment 
of  cigars  and  coffee,  whose  easily  diffusible  fragrance  is  enjoyed 
in  short  puffs  and  sips  without  noticeably  interrupting  conver- 
sation. The  cigars  and  coffee,  then,  it  will  be  noted,  logically 
come  at  the  end  of  the  meal  not  only  on  account  of  their  physio- 
logical effects  but  also  on  account  of  their  adaptability  to  social 
converse  after  eating.  There  is  no  question  about  the  comple- 
mentary qualities,  in  completing  entertainment,  of  dining  and 
conversation,  story-telling  and  speech-making.  No  better  cita- 
tion can  be  made  in  proof  of  this  than  the  natural  taste  of  our 
forefathers.  Note,  in  Ambassador  Jusserand's  toast  to  the 
memory  of  Washington,  the  following:  **An  account  of  what 
were  after-dinner  speeches  at  a  time  when  Thule  was  still  the 
end  of  the  world  and  Columbus  had  not  yet  crossed  the  Atlantic 
has  come  down  to  us.  The  account  is  in  very  old-fashioned 
English  and  in  alliterative  verse;  modernized  it  reads  thus: 
'When  people  are  feasted  and  fed,  fain  would  they  hear  some 
excellent  thing  after  their  food  to  gladden  their  hearts.  *  »  • 
Some  like  to  listen  to  legends  of  saints  that  lost  their  lives  for 
our  Lord's  sake,  some  have  a  longing  to  hearken  to  lays  of  love, 
telling  how  people  suffered  pains  for  their  beloved.  Some  covet 
and  delight  to  hear  talked  of  courtesy  and  knighthood  and  craft 
of  arms.'  "  "These  tastes  and  habits,"  continues  the  Ambassa- 
dor, * '  have  been  handed  down  to  us  unimpaired. ' '  Will  you  not, 
therefore,  0  hosts  and  committees,  serve  dinners  that  will  not 
interfere  with  keen  minds,  facile  tongues  and  willing  ears  ? 

And  one  other  plea  to  hosts,  never  call  on  guests  for  speeches 
without  asking  their  permission.  If,  as  I  have  suggested,  prep- 
aration is  necessary  with  most  speakers,  they  should  have  ample 
time  to  prepare  if  they  wish  to  do  so.  Some  otherwise  good 
talkers  become  confused  when  called  on  suddenly  and  without 
warning,  and  some  people  are  so  timid  that  after-dinner  speak- 
ing is  entirely  out  of  the  question  with  them. 


28  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

With  the  hope  that  this  book  will  appeal  to  those  who  wish  to 
become  more  familiar  with  the  art  of  after-dinner  speaking,  I 
dedicate  it  to  the  men  of  America,  where  the  art  has  already 
attained  its  highest  development,  and  particularly  to  the  law- 
yers, who,  more  than  any  other  class  of  men,  are  called  upon  to 
speak  at  public  and  private  dinners. 

William  Allen  Wood. 


OUR  COUNTRY 

Benjamin  Harrison 

At  every  patriotic  banquet,  and  at  every  banquet  of  a  public,  semi* 
public  or  political  nature,  there  should  be  a  toast  to  "Our  Country," 
when  there  are  toasts  at  all.  Nothing  surprised  the  editor  of  this 
book  so  much  as  the  discovery  that  this  toast  Is  seldom  offered  on  what 
might  be  called  "state"  occasions.  Even  when  no  formal  response 
by  way  of  an  address  is  made,  as  where  the  presiding  officer  proposes 
the  toast  and  it  is  drunk  standing  by  the  guests,  this  toast  is  proposed 
so  seldom  as  to  make  its  absence  noteworthy.  This  toast  should  pre- 
cede that  to  "The  President"  and  all  other  toasts  that  are  commonly 
proposed. 

One  of  the  largest  banquets  ever  held  in  the  United  States  took 
place  in  New  York,  the  thirtieth  of  April,  1889,  on  the  occasion  of  the 
celebration  of  the  centennial  of  the  inauguration  of  Washington  as  the 
first  president,  also  commemorating  the  Revolutionary  period  begin- 
ning with  the  Declaration  of  Independence.  The  banquet  was  held 
In  the  Metropolitan  Opera  House,  whose  stage  and  auditorium  were 
connected  in  one  continuous  floor  which  held  over  two  hundred  and 
fifty  tables,  arranged  in  double  horse-shoe  fashion  and  seating  eight 
hundred  guests.  The  room  was  elaborately  decorated  with  flowers  and 
flags,  and  eight  thousand  glittering  glasses,  much  fine  plate  and  many 
electric  lights  made  the  hall  a  place  of  shimmering  beauty.  The  chief 
steward,  stationed  behind  the  President's  chair,  gave  orders  to  the 
head  chef  by  signals  over  electric  wires,  regulating  the  courses  so 
that  two  hundred  of  the  best  drilled  waiters  served  the  guests  almost 
simultaneously.  The  dinner  cost  some  forty  thousand  dollars,  the 
wine  alone  costing  nearly  sixteen  thousand,  there  being  twelve  va- 
rieties and  three  cordials.  The  menu  card  was  made  in  France.  Be- 
hind and  over  the  President's  chair,  surrounded  by  fiowlng  American 
flags,  was  suspended  a  huge  picture  of  Washington.  As  the  banquet 
did  not  commence  till  eleven  o'clock  P.  M.,  and  as  the  President's 
speech  was  not  given  till  near  two  o'clock  A.  M.,  the  President  was 
very  tired  after  the  day's  celebration.  Other  toasts  were  given  by 
ex-President  Cleveland,  ex-President  Hayes,  Chief  Justice  Fuller,  Gen- 
eral William  T.  Sherman,  Senator  Evarts,  James  Russell  Lowell,  Presi- 
dent Charles  W.  Elliott,  of  Harvard,  Hon.  John  W.  Daniel,  Governor 
Fitzhugh  Lee,  of  Virginia,  and  Governor  Hill,  of  New  York,  who,  being 

29 


80  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

Introduced  by  Mayor  Grant,  of  New  York  City,  welcomed  the  guests. 
There  were  present  the  Governors  of  thirty-six  states.  Bishop  Potter 
made  the  invocation.  As  the  President  and  distinguished  guests 
entered,  the  band  played  "Hail  to  the  Chief." 

Mr.  Chairman  and  Fellow  Citizens:  I  should  be  unjust  to 
myself,  and,  what  is  more  serious,  I  should  be  unjust  to  you, 
if  I  did  not  at  this  first  and  last  opportunity  express  to  you  the 
deep  sense  of  obligation  and  thankfulness  which  I  feel  for  these 
many  personal  and  official  courtesies  which  have  been  extended 
to  me  since  I  came  to  take  part  in  this  celebration.  The  official 
representatives  of  the  State  of  New  York  and  of  this  great  city 
have  attended  me  with  the  most  courteous  kindness,  omitting  no 
attention  that  could  make  my  stay  among  you  pleasant  and  grat- 
ifying. From  you  and  at  the  hands  of  those  who  have  thronged 
the  streets  of  the  city  today  I  have  received  the  most  cordial  ex- 
pressions of  good  will.  I  would  not,  however,  have  you  under- 
stand that  these  loud  acclaims  have  been  in  any  sense  appro- 
priated as  a  personal  tribute  to  myself.  I  have  realized  that 
there  was  in  this  occasion  and  in  all  these  interesting  incidents 
which  have  made  it  so  profoundly  impressive  to  my  mind,  that 
which  was  above  and  greater  than  any  living  man.  I  have 
realized  that  the  tribute  of  cordial  interest  which  you  have  mani- 
fested was  rendered  to  that  great  office  which,  by  the  favor  of 
a  greater  people,  I  now  exercise,  rather  than  to  me. 

This  occasion  and  all  of  its  incidents  will  be  memorable  not 
only  in  the  history  of  your  own  city,  but  in  the  history  of  your 
country.  New  York  did  not  succeed  in  retaining  the  seat  of 
national  government  here,  although  she  made  liberal  provision 
for  the  assembling  of  the  first  Congress  in  the  expectation  that 
the  Congress  might  find  its  permanent  home  here.  But  though 
you  lost  that  which  you  coveted,  I  think  the  representatives  here 
of  all  the  States  will  agree  that  it  was  fortunate  that  the  first 
inauguration  of  Washington  took  place  in  the  State  and  the  city 
of  New  York.  For  where  in  our  country  could  the  centennial  of 
the  event  be  so  worthily  celebrated  as  here?  What  seaboard 
offered  so  magnificent  a  bay  on  which  to  display  our  merchant 
and  naval  marine?    What  city  offered  thoroughfares  so  mag- 


OUR  COUNTRY  31 

nificent,  or  a  people  so  generous  as  New  York  has  poured  out 
today  to  celebrate  that  event? 

I  have  received  at  the  hands  of  the  committee  who  have  been 
charged  with  the  onerous  and  exacting  details  of  this  demon' 
stration,  evidence  of  their  confidence  in  my  physical  endurance. 
I  must  also  acknowledge  still  one  other  obligation.  The  com- 
mittee having  in  charge  the  exercises  of  this  event  have  also 
given  me  another  evidence  of  their  confidence,  which  has  been 
accompanied  with  some  embarrassment.  As  I  have  noticed  the 
progress  of  this  banquet,  it  seemed  to  me  that  each  of  the 
speakers  had  been  made  acquainted  with  his  theme  before  he 
took  his  seat  at  the  banquet,  and  that  I  alone  was  left  to  make 
acquaintance  with  my  theme  when  I  sat  down  to  the  table.  I 
prefer  to  substitute  for  the  official  title  which  is  upon  the  pro- 
gram [''The  United  States  of  America"],  the  familiar  and  fire- 
side expression,  Our  Country. 

I  congratulate  you  today,  as  one  of  the  interesting  features 
of  this  occasion,  that  the  houses  in  these  great  thoroughfares  dedi- 
cated to  trade  have  closed  their  doors  and  covered  up  the  insignia 
of  commerce  with  the  stars  and  stripes;  that  your  great  ex- 
changes have  closed  and  your  citizens  have  given  themselves 
wholly  to  the  celebration  in  which  we  are  participating.  I  have 
great  pleasure  in  believing  that  love  of  country  has  been  inten- 
sified in  many  hearts  by  what  we  have  witnessed  today,  not  only 
in  you  who  may  be  called  and  you  who  have  been  called  to  witness 
your  love  for  the  flag  in  battles  on  sea  and  land,  but  in  these 
homes,  among  these  fair  women  who  look  down  upon  us  tonight 
and  in  those  little  children  who  mingled  their  piping  cries  with 
the  hoarser  shouts  as  we  moved  along  your  streets  today.  I 
believe  that  patriotism  has  been  placed  in  a  higher  and  holier 
fane  in  many  hearts.  These  banners  with  which  you  have 
covered  your  walls,  these  patriotic  inscriptions,  must  come  down 
and  the  ways  of  trade  be  resumed  again.  Here  may  I  not  ask 
you  to  carry  the  inscriptions  that  now  hang  on  the  walls  into 
your  homes,  into  the  schools  of  your  city,  into  all  of  your  great 
institutions  where  children  are  gathered,  to  impress  them  on  the 
minds  of  the  voung  and  teach  them  that  the  eyes  of  young  and 


32  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

old  alike  should  look  upon  that  flag  as  one  of  the  familiar  glories 
and  adornments  of  every  household  and  public  shrine  in  Amer- 
ica ?  Have  we  not  learned  that  not  stocks  and  bonds,  not  houses 
and  lands,  nor  the  products  of  factories,  are  our  country  ?  It  is 
a  spiritual  thought  that  is  in  our  minds — ^it  is  the  flag  and 
what  it  stands  for;  it  is  the  fireside  and  the  home;  it  is  the  high 
emotions  that  are  in  our  hearts,  born  of  the  inspiration  which 
comes  with  the  story  of  the  fathers  and  of  martyrs  to  liberty. 
It  is  the  unconscious  reminiscence  which  a  community  has  of 
the  deeds  of  those  who  died  gloriously  that  that  might  live 
which  we  love  and  call  our  country,  rather  than  anything  that 
can  be  touched  or  seen. 

Let  me  add  a  thought  due  to  our  country's  future.  Perhaps 
never  have  we  been  so  well  equipped  for  war  upon  land  as  now, 
and  we  never  have  seen  the  time  when  our  people  were  more 
smitten  with  the  love  of  peace.  To  elevate  the  morals  of  our 
people;  to  hold  up  the  law  as  that  sacred  thing  which,  like  the 
ark  of  God  of  old,  may  not  be  touched  by  irreverent  hands,  and 
to  frown  upon  any  attempt  to  dethrone  its  supremacy ;  to  unite 
our  people  in  aU  that  makes  home  pure  and  honorable,  as  well 
as  to  give  our  energies  in  the  direction  of  material  advancement, 
— ^this  service  may  we  render.  And  out  of  this  great  demon- 
stration let  us  draw  lessons  which  shall  inspire  us  to  consecrate 
ourselves  anew  to  this  love  and  service  of  our  country. 


"THE  PRESIDENT." 

William  Howard  Taft. 

On  November  sixteenth,  1912,  shortly  after  his  defeat  for  re-election 
to  the  Presidency,  Mr.  Taft  was  given  a  dinner  by  the  Lotos  Club  of 
New  York  City.  There  was  present  a  distinguished  and  enthusiastic 
company.  The  President  was  accompanied  to  New  York  by  several 
members  of  the  Cabinet,  Senator  Elihu  Root,  and  Major  T.  S.  Rhoades, 
U.  S.  A.,  his  military  aid.  The  New  York  Times  report  said:  "The 
President  made  what  many  of  those  who  heard  it  said  was  one  of  the 
best  speeches  of  his  life.  He  looked  and  acted  as  happy  as  a  boy  out 
of  school.  *  *  *  Mr.  Taft  sat  beneath  a  cluster  of  American  flags, 
in  the  center  of  which  was  the  blue  ensign  of  the  President  of  the 
United  States.  *  •  *  The  menus,  as  is  always  the  case  at  Lotos 
Club  dinners,  were  beautifully  engraved.  The  design  carried  on  the 
cover  the  national  coat-of-arms  and  lotos  flowers  stamped  in  gold,  and 
underneath  the  lotos  flowers  the  single  word,  'Ohio.'  •  *  •  The 
president  of  the  club,  Mr.  Frank  R.  Lawrence,  introduced  Mr.  Taft, 
closing  with  a  toast  to  'The  President,'  and  with  the  drinking  of  the 
toast  the  President  arose  to  speak.  The  diners  gave  him  a  great 
welcome,  and  when  at  last  the  napkins  ceased  to  wave  and  the  cheers 
stopped,  the  President,  talking  in  a  conversational  tone  and  in  ex- 
tremely friendly  fashion,  began  his  speech." 

Mr.  President  and  Gentlemen  of  the  Lotos  Club:  The 
legend  of  the  lotos  eaters  was  that  if  they  partook  of  the  fruit 
of  the  lotos  tree  they  forgot  what  had  happened  in  their  country 
and  were  left  in  a  state  of  philosophic  calm  in  which  they  had 
no  desire  to  return  to  it. 

I  do  not  know  what  was  in  the  mind  of  your  distinguished 
Invitation  Committee  when  I  was  asked  to  attend  this  banquet. 
They  came  to  me  before  the  election.  At  first  I  hesitated  to 
come,  lest,  when  the  dinner  came,  by  the  election  I  should  be 
shorn  of  interest  as  a  guest  and  be  changed  from  an  active  and 
virile  participant  in  the  day's  doings  of  the  nation  to  merely 
a  dissolving  view. 

I  knew  that  generally  on  an  occasion  of  this  sort  the  motive 

3S 


34  APTER-DINNEE  SPEECHES 

of  the  diners  was  to  have  a  guest  whose  society  should  bring 
them  more  closely  into  contact  with  the  great  present  and  future, 
and  not  be  merely  a  reminder  of  what  has  been.  But  after 
further  consideration,  I  saw  in  the  name  of  your  club  the 
possibility  that  you  were  not  merely  cold,  selfish  seekers  after 
pleasures  of  your  own;  that  perhaps  you  were  organized  to 
furnish  consolation  to  those  who  mourn,  oblivion  to  those  who 
would  forget,  an  opportunity  for  a  swan  song  to  those  about 
to  disappear. 

This  thought,  prompted  by  the  coming,  as  one  of  your  com- 
mittee, of  the  gentleman  who  knows  everything  in  the  world 
that  has  happened  and  is  going  to  happen,  and  especially  that 
which  is  going  to  happen,  by  reason  of  his  control  of  the 
Associated  Press,  much  diminished  my  confidence  in  the  victory 
that  was  to  come  on  election  day.  I  concluded  that  it  was  just 
as  well  to  cast  an  anchor  to  the  windward  and  accept  as  much 
real  condolence  as  I  could  gather  in  such  a  hospitable  presence 
as  this,  and,  therefore,  my  friends,  I  accepted  your  invitation 
and  am  here. 

You  have  given  me  the  toast  of  **The  President,"  and  I 
take  this  toast  not  merely  as  one  of  respect  to  the  office  and 
indicative  of  your  love  of  country  and  as  typical  of  your  loyalty, 
but  I  assume  for  the  purposes  of  tonight  that  a  discussion  of 
the  office  which  I  have  held  and  in  which  I  have  rejoiced  and 
suffered  will  not  be  inappropriate. 

It  is  said  that  the  office  of  President  is  the  most  powerful 
in  the  world,  because  under  the  Constitution  its  occupant  really 
can  exercise  more  discretion  than  an  Emperor  or  King  exercises 
in  any  of  the  Governments  of  modern  Europe. 

I  am  not  disposed  to  question  this  as  a  matter  of  reasoning 
from  the  actual  power  given  the  President  in  the  Constitutional 
division  of  governmental  functions,  but  I  am  bound  to  say  that 
the  consciousness  of  such  power  is  rarely,  if  ever,  present  in 
the  mind  of  the  ordinary  individual  acting  as  President,  because 
what  chiefly  stares  him  in  the  face  in  carrying  out  any  plan 
of  his  is  the  limitation  upon  the  power  and  not  its  extent. 

Of  course,  there  are  happy  individuals  who  are  able  entirely 


THE  PRESIDENT  35 

to  ignore  those  limitations  both  in  mind  and  practice,  and  as 
to  them  the  result  may  be  different.  But  to  one  whose  training 
and  profession  are  subordinate  to  law,  the  intoxication  of  power 
rapidly  sobers  off  in  the  knowledge  of  its  restrictions  and  under 
the  prompt  reminder  of  an  ever-present  and  a  not  always  con- 
siderate press,  as  well  as  by  the  kindly  suggestions  that  not 
infrequently  come  from  that  hall  of  Congress  in  which  im- 
peachments are  intimated  and  that  smaller  chamber  in  which 
they  are  tried. 

In  these  days  of  progress,  reform,  uplift,  and  improvement, 
a  man  does  not  show  himself  abreast  of  the  age  unless  he  has 
some  changes  to  suggest.  It  is  the  recommended  change  that 
marks  his  being  up  to  date.  It  may  be  a  change  only  for  the 
sake  of  change,  but  it  is  responsive  to  a  public  demand,  and 
therefore  let's  propose  it. 

It  is  contrary  to  my  own  love  for  the  dear  old  Constitution 
to  suggest  any  alteration  in  its  terms,  lest  it  be  regarded  as  a 
reflection  upon,  or  a  criticism  of,  that  which  has  been  put  to 
the  sacred  use  for  one  hundred  and  twenty-five  years  of  main- 
taining liberty  regulated  by  law,  and  the  guarantee  of  the  rights 
by  law,  and  the  guarantee  of  the  rights  of  the  minority  and  the 
individual  under  the  rule  of  the  majority. 

But  yielding  to  the  modern  habit  and  just  to  show  that 
though  I  am  a  conservative  I  am  not  a  reactionary  or  a  trilobite, 
I  venture  the  suggestion  that  it  would  aid  the  efficiency  of  the 
executive  and  center  his  energy  and  attention  and  that  of  his 
subordinates  in  the  latter  part  of  his  administration  upon  what 
is  a  purely  disinterested  public  service  if  he  were  made  ineligible 
after  serving  one  term  of  six  years  either  to  a  succeeding  or  a 
non-consecutive  term. 

I  am  a  little  specific  in  this  matter,  because  it  seems  necessary 
to  be  so  in  order  to  be  understood.  I  don 't  care  how  unambitious 
or  modest  a  President  is;  I  don't  care  how  determined  he  is 
that  he  himself  will  not  secure  his  renomination  (and  there 
are  very  few,  indeed,  who  go  to  that  extent),  still  his  subordi- 
nates equally  interested  with  him  in  his  re-election  will,  when- 
ever they  have  the  opportunity,  exert  their  influence  and  divide 


36  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

their  time  between  the  public  service  and  the  effort  to  secure 
their  chief's  renomination  and  re-election. 

It  is  difficult  to  prevent  the  whole  Administration  from  losing 
a  part  of  its  effectiveness  for  the  public  good  by  this  diversion 
to  political  effort  for  at  least  a  year  of  the  four  of  each  admin- 
istration. [Were  this  made  impossible  by  law,  I  can  see  no 
reason  why  the  energy  of  the  President  and  that  of  all  his 
subordinates  might  not  be  directed  rather  to  making  a  great 
record  of  efficiency  in  the  first  and  only  term  than  in  seeking 
a  second  term  for  that  purpose. 

Four  years  is  rather  a  short  time  in  which  to  work  out 
great  governmental  policies.     Six  years  is  better. 

Another  suggestion  I  would  make  is  that  legislative  steps 
be  taken,  for  there  is  nothing  in  the  Constitution  to  forbid  it, 
bringing  more  closely  together  the  operation  of  the  executive 
and  legislative  branches.  The  studied  effort  to  maintain  these 
branches  rigidly  separate  is,  I  think,  a  mistake. 

I  would  not  add  any  more  actual  power  to  the  Executive 
in  legislative  matters,  nor  would  I  give  the  legislative  any  more 
actual  power  in  executive  matters.  The  veto  on  the  one  hand 
and  the  confirmation  of  appointments  and  the  ratification  of 
treaties  on  the  other  I  would  not  change.  But  it  does  seem 
to  me  that  they  need  not  be  at  arm's  length,  as  they  are  now 
under  our  present  system. 

It  has  been  proposed  twice  in  our  history,  after  the  fullest 
consideration  by  some  of  the  wisest  statesmen  we  have  ever 
had,  to  pass  a  law  giving  to  each  department  head  a  seat  in 
the  Senate  and  in  the  House,  and  a  right  to  enter  into  the 
discussion  of  proposed  legislation  in  either  of  the  national  legis- 
lative bodies. 

This  would  keep  Congress  much  better  informed  as  to  the 
actual  conditions  in  the  executive  departments.  It  would  keep 
the  department  heads  on  the  qui  vive  with  reference  to  their 
knowledge  of  their  own  departments  and  their  ability  to  answer 
appropriate  questions  in  respect  to  them.  It  would  necessitate 
the  appointment  to  the  Cabinet  of  men  used  to  debate  and  to 
defend  their  positions,  and  it  would  offer  an  opportunity  for 


THE  PRESIDENT  37 

the  public  to  judge  of  the  Executive  and  of  his  Government 
much  more  justly  and  much  more  quickly  than  under  our 
present  system. 

The  ignorance  that  Congress  at  times  has  of  what  is  actually 
going  on  in  the  executive  departments  and  the  fact  that  hours  of 
debate  and  use  of  pages  of  The  Congressional  Record  might  be 
avoided  by  the  answer  to  a  single  question  by  a  competent 
Cabinet  officer  on  the  floor  of  either  house  is  frequently  brought 
sharply  to  the  attention  of  competent  observers. 

I  think,  too,  it  might  perhaps  promote  the  amenities  between 
the  two  branches  if  this  system  were  introduced.  The  rules 
of  the  two  houses,  as  I  am  advised,  forbid  the  use  of  abusive 
language  by  one  member  against  the  other  house  or  its  members. 
A  somewhat  close  examination  of  the  rules,  however,  of  both 
houses,  does  not  show  that  there  is  any  limitation  upon  the 
parliamentary  character  of  the  language  which  may  be  directed 
against  the  President. 

As  to  him,  the  members  pursue  their  own  sweet  will,  and 
that  sometimes  leads  them  into  language  and  epithetical  descrip- 
tion of  the  Chief  Executive  that  could  hardly  be  called  compli- 
mentary. If  members  of  the  Cabinet  were  allowed  the  floor 
their  very  presence  would  suggest,  in  the  possibility  of  reply, 
moderation  in  discussing  the  Administration,  which  does  not 
now  at  all  times  prevail. 

The  strongest  reason  for  advocating  this  change,  however, 
is  that  the  influence  that  the  Executive  shall  have  in  shaping 
legislation  shall  be  more  in  harmony  with  the  responsibility 
that  the  people  hold  him  to  in  respect  to  it.  He  is  the  head 
of  the  party  that  elected  him,  and  as  such,  if  Congress  is  con- 
trolled by  the  same  political  party,  as  it  generally  is,  he  is 
looked  to  to  shape  the  Congressional  policy  and  to  secure  the 
passage  of  the  statutes  which  the  party  platform  has  promised. 
Now,  with  such  a  burden  on  him,  he  ought  to  have  a  greater 
means  of  bringing  about  what  he  wishes  in  the  character  of  the 
legislation  to  be  considered  by  Congress,  and  greater  powers 
of  persuasion  to  secure  the  adoption  of  such  legislation  than 
those  which  the  mere  right  to  send  messages  and  the  mere 


38  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

opportunity  of  personal  consultation  with  leading  members  of 
the  House  and  Senate  give  him. 

I  doubt  not  that  the  presence  of  able  Cabinet  officers  on 
the  floor  of  each  house  would  give  greater  harmony  of  plan 
for  the  conduct  of  public  business  in  both  houses,  and  would 
secure  much  more  valuable  legislation  in  accordance  with  party 
plans  than  we  have  now.  On  the  other  hand,  the  system  would 
enable  Congress  to  come  closer  to  the  Executive,  and  pry  more 
effectively  into  each  act  and  compel  a  disclosure  of  the  reasons 
justifying  it  immediately  at  the  time  of  the  act,  and  keep  the 
public  more  quickly  advised  by  the  direct  questions  of  hostile 
critics  which  must  be  answered,  of  the  progress  of  business 
under  Executive  auspices. 

Of  course,  this  is  not  the  complete  English  system,  because 
it  does  not  give  to  the  Cabinet  the  power  to  lead  and  control 
legislative  action,  as  the  British  Government  may  in  Parliament. 
But  it  combines  so  much  of  that  which  is  valuable,  and  as  it  can 
be  done  by  a  mere  act  of  Congress,  I  think  it  ought  to  be  tried. 

One  of  the  results  of  my  observation  in  the  Presidency  is 
that  the  position  is  not  a  place  to  be  enjoyed  by  a  sensitive  man. 
Lawrence  Sterne  said,  "The  Lord  tempers  the  wind  to  the  shorn 
lamb."  The  experience  in  the  Presidency  toughens  the  hide 
of  the  occupant  so  as  to  enable  him  to  resist  the  stings  of  criti- 
cism directed  against  him  from  the  time  he  takes  office  until 
he  lays  it  down. 

I  don't  know  that  this  evil  has  been  any  greater  in  this 
administration  than  in  a  previous  administration.  All  I  know 
is  that  it  was  my  first  experience  and  it  seemed  to  me  as  if  I 
had  been  more  greatly  tried  than  most  Presidents  by  such 
methods. 

The  result,  in  some  respects,  is  unfortunate  in  that  after 
one  or  two  efforts  to  meet  the  unfounded  accusations,  despair 
in  the  matter  leads  to  indifference  and,  perhaps,  to  an  indiffer- 
ence toward  both  just  and  unjust  criticism.  This  condition 
helps  the  comfort  of  the  patient,  but  I  doubt  if  it  makes  him 
a  better  President. 

Of  course,  the  reassuring  formula  that  history  will  right 


THE  PRESIDENT  39 

one  and  will  give  one  his  just  meed  of  praise  is  consolatory, 
but  it  is  not  altogether  satisfactory,  because  the  thought  sug- 
gests itself  that  the  time  for  remedying  the  injustice  may  be 
postponed  until  one  is  gathered  to  his  fathers,  and  when  he 
is  not  particularly  interested  in  earthly  history  or  mundane 
affairs. 

I  think  the  period  for  successful  muckraking  is  gradually 
drawing  to  a  close.  I  hope  so.  The  evil  of  the  cruel  injustice 
that  has  been  done  to  many  public  men  in  this  regard  will 
certainly  show  itself  in  the  future,  and  we  must  consider  that 
the  ebullition  in  muckraking  literature  is  only  one  of  the  tem- 
porary excesses  of  the  times,  which  is  curing  itself  by  tiring 
those  whose  patronage  formed  the  motive  for  its  beginning  and 
rise. 

In  so  far  as  those  criticisms  are  just,  of  course,  they  ought 
not  to  be  avoided.  In  so  far  as  they  are  based  on  facts,  whether 
they  are  just  or  unjust,  they  must  be  taken  at  their  value  upon 
the  consideration  of  the  facts.  But  the  query  arises  in  respect 
to  those  criticisms  and  attacks  that  are  made  without  the 
slightest  reference  to  the  facts,  and  merely  for  the  purpose  of 
invoking  popular  opposition  and  distrust,  and  with  the  hope 
that  by  constant  repetition  they  can  escape  any  possible  refu- 
tation. 

The  Presidency  is  a  great  office  to  hold.  It  is  a  great  honor, 
and  it  is  surrounded  with  much  that  makes  it  full  of  pleasure 
and  enjoyment  for  the  occupant  in  spite  of  its  heavy  responsi- 
bilities and  the  shining  mark  that  it  presents  for  misrepresenta- 
tion and  false  attack. 

I  consider  that  the  President  of  the  United  States  is  well 
paid.  The  salary  by  no  means  measures  the  contribution  to 
his  means  of  living  which  the  generosity  of  Congress  has 
afforded,  and  unless  it  is  the  policy  of  Congress  to  enable  him 
in  his  four  years  to  save  enough  money  to  live  in  adequate 
dignity  and  comfort  thereafter,  then  the  salary  is  all  that  it 
ought  to  be. 

Of  course,  the  great  and  really  the  only  lasting  satisfaction 
that  one  can  have  in  the  administration  of  the  great  office  of 


40  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

President  is  the  thought  that  one  has  done  something  pernia- 
nently  useful  to  his  fellow-countrymen.  The  mere  enjoyment 
of  the  tinsel  of  oflSce  is  ephemeral,  and  unless  one  can  fix  one's 
memory  on  real  progress  made  through  the  exercise  of  Presi- 
dential power,  there  is  little  real  pleasure  in  the  contemplation 
of  the  holding  of  that  or  any  other  office,  however  great  its 
power  or  dignity  or  high  its  position  in  the  minds  of  men. 

I  beg  you  to  believe  that  in  spite  of  the  very  emphatic  verdict 
by  which  I  leave  the  office,  I  cherish  only  the  deepest  gratitude 
to  the  American  people  for  having  given  me  the  honor  of  having 
held  the  office,  and  I  sincerely  hope,  in  looking  back  over  what 
has  been  done,  that  there  is  enough  of  progress  made  to  warrant 
me  in  the  belief  that  real  good  has  been  accomplished,  even 
though  I  regret  that  it  has  not  been  greater. 

My  chief  regret  is  my  failure  to  secure  from  the  Senate  the 
ratification  of  the  general  arbitration  treaties  with  France  and 
Great  Britain.  I  am  sure  they  would  have  been  great  steps 
toward  general  world  peace.  What  has  actually  been  done  I  hope 
has  helped  the  cause  of  peace,  but  ratification  would  have  been  a 
concrete  and  substantial  step.  I  do  not  despair  of  ultimate 
success.    We  must  hope  and  work  on. 

The  sustained  mental  work  in  the  Presidential  office  is  not, 
I  think,  so  great  as  is  generally  supposed.  The  nervous  strain 
is  greater.  As  it  should  be,  the  President  has  a  great  many 
assistants  to  furnish  him  data  and  actually  to  prepare  his 
letters  and  his  official  communications.  If  he  is  careful,  of 
course,  he  corrects  and  changes  these  enough  to  put  his  own 
personality  into  them.  His  time  is  very  much  taken  up  with 
social  functions,  state  and  otherwise.  This  is  inevitable  with 
the  affairs  of  state,  and  his  actual  time  for  real  hard  intellectual 
work  is  limited.  That  part  of  his  time  which  is  taken  up  with 
the  smaller  patronage  of  the  office,  that  is,  I  mean,  the  local 
patronage,  the  postmasters  and  collectors,  is,  in  my  judgment, 
wasted,  and  ought  to  be  removed  by  putting  all  the  local 
officers  in  the  classified  civil  service  system,  so  that  it  shall  be 
automatic  in  its  operation  and  the  President  may  not  be  both- 
ered, and  the  Congressmen  and  Senators  may  not  be  bothered 


THE  PRESIDENT  41 

with  that  which  is  supposed  to  aid  politically,  but  which  in  the 
end  always  operates  as  a  burden  to  the  person  upon  whom  its 
use  is  thrust. 

I  observe  that  the  question  of  how  receptions  are  to  be 
accorded  to  those  who  have  business  at  the  White  House  is  now 
under  consideration,  and  I  have  been  considerably  amused  at 
the  suggestion  that  it  would  be  possible  to  do  the  public  business 
in  the  presence  of  everybody,  so  that  all  who  are  interested 
might  draw  near  to  the  Executive  Office  and  stand  and  see 
and  hear  the  communications  from  those  who  enjoy  appointed 
consultations  with  the  head  of  the  nation. 

This  matter  is  always  the  subject  of  consideration  at  the 
beginning  of  each  administration,  and  it  always  settles  down  to 
an  arrangement  which  satisfies  few  people,  but  which  allows 
those  who  have  the  most  important  business  generally  to  have 
the  easiest  and  longest  access  to  the  President.  A  President 
has  just  so  much  time  to  see  people,  and  if  the  number  of 
people  is  very  great,  as  it  always  is  at  the  beginning  of  an 
administration,  the  amount  of  time  he  can  give  to  each  is  very 
limited.  No  matter  what  is  done,  it  will  be  certain  that  some- 
body's toes  are  stepped  on,  and  when  I  am  asked  what  is  the 
proper  way  of  arranging  receptions  of  people  under  conditions 
which  exist,  I  am  forced  to  tell  the  story  of  a  gentleman  who 
lived  on  Sascatchequarle  Creek.  He  was  asked  how  he  spelled 
the  name  of  the  creek,  and  he  said:  "Some  spells  it  one  way 
and  some  spells  it  another,  but  in  my  judgment  there  are  no 
correct  way  of  spelling  it." 

And  now,  my  friends,  I  come  to  the  final  question  which 
is  of  immediate  moment  to  me,  and  in  respect  to  which  I  observe 
some  discussion  and  comment  and  suggestion  in  the  press  of  the 
day,  ''What  are  we  to  do  with  our  ex-Presidents?" 

I  am  not  sure  Dr.  Osier's  method  of  dealing  with  elderly 
men  would  not  properly  and  usefully  apply  to  the  treatment  of 
ex-Presidents.  The  proper  and  scientific  administration  of  a 
dose  of  chloroform  or  of  the  fruit  of  the  lotos  tree  and  the 
reduction  of  the  flesh  of  the  thus  quietly  departed  to  ashes 
in  a  funeral  pyre,  to  satisfy  the  wishes  of  the  friends  and 


42  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

families,  might  make  a  fitting  end  to  the  life  of  one  who  had 
held  the  highest  office  and  at  the  same  time  would  secure  the 
country  from  the  troublesome  fear  that  the  occupant  could 
ever  come  back. 

His  record  would  have  been  made  by  one  term  and  his 
demise  in  the  honorable  ceremony  I  have  suggested  would  relieve 
the  country  from  the  burden  of  thinking  how  he  is  to  support 
himself  and  his  family,  would  fix  his  place  in  history  and  enable 
the  public  to  pass  on  to  new  men  and  new  measures.  I  com- 
mend this  method  for  consideration. 

I  observe  that  our  friend,  Mr.  Bryan,  proposes  another 
method  of  disposing  of  our  ex-Presidents.  Mr.  Bryan  has  not 
had  exactly  the  experience  of  being  a  President.  He  has  been 
a  "near  President"  for  three  times,  and  possibly  that  qualifies 
him  as  an  expert  to  speak  of  what  we  ought  to  do  with  our 
ex-Presidents.  He  has  been  very  vigorous  in  this  campaign  in 
helping  to  make  me  an  ex-President,  and  if  I  have  followed 
with  accuracy  his  public  declarations  and  his  private  opinions, 
he  is  anxious  to  perform  the  office  of  making  my  successor  an 
ex-President  after  one  term. 

As  a  Warwick  and  as  a  maker  of  ex-Presidents,  I  think  we 
should  give  great  and  respectful  consideration  to  his  suggestion. 
Instead  of  ending  the  ex-Presidential  life  by  chloroform  or 
lotos  eating,  he  proposes  that  it  should  expire  under  the  an- 
aesthetic effect  of  the  debates  of  the  Senate.  He  proposes  that 
ex-Presidents  should  be  confined  to  the  business  of  sitting  in 
the  Senate  and  listening  to  the  discussions  in  that  body.  We 
may  assume  that  he  proposes  that  the  ex-Presidents  shall  share 
the  burden  of  the  Vice-President  as  he  listens  to  the  soliloquies 
which  the  various  members  of  that  body  pour  into  the  Con- 
gressional Record,  while  the  remainder  of  the  Senators  are 
engaged  in  more  entertaining  and  less  somnolent  occupation. 

The  ex-Presidents  are  to  have  seats  in  the  Senate  and  join 
in  the  discussion,  but  not  to  vote.  Why  Mr.  Bryan  should  think 
it  necessary  to  add  to  the  discussion  in  the  Senate  the  lucubra- 
tions of  ex-Presidents,  I  am  at  a  loss  to  say.    I  cannot  conceive 


THE  PRESIDENT  43 

of  any  reform  in  the  Senate  which  does  not  lead  to  a  limit  in 
their  debate. 

For  many  reasons,  I  object  to  Mr.  Bryan's  disposition  of 
ex-Presidents.  If  I  must  go  and  disappear  into  oblivion,  I 
prefer  to  go  by  the  chloroform  or  lotos  method.  It  is  pleasanter 
and  it's  less  drawn  out. 

But,  my  friends,  I  have  occupied  your  time  too  long  in  my 
cursory  remarks,  the  subject  of  which  at  times  may  have  seemed 
too  sober  and  grave  for  lotos  eaters,  but  as  the  office  of  the 
Presidency  is  still  in  my  keeping,  and  as  the  thought  of  parting 
with  it  is  perhaps  the  most  prominent  one  that  figures  in  my 
mind,  I  have  ventured  to  discuss  it  in  accents  both  grave  and 
gay.  I  wish  to  express  deep  gratitude  to  you  for  the  honor 
which  you  have  done  me  in  making  me  your  guest  tonight,  and 
I  close  with  a  sentiment  and  a  toast  to  which  I  most  sincerely 
and  cordially  ask  your  unanimous  acclaim: 

"Healtn  and  success  to  the  able,  distinguished  and  patriotic 
gentleman  who  is  to  be  the  next  President  of  the  United 
States." 


THE  STANDARDS  OF  LEADERSHIP. 

WooDROw  Wilson. 
Remarks  of  William  G.  McAdoo,  Toastmaster, 

The  twenty-fifth  annual  dinner  of  the  New  York  Southern  Society 
was  held  In  the  Grand  Ball  Room  of  the  Waldorf-Astoria  Hotel  on 
Wednesday  evening,  the  fourteenth  of  December,  1910.  Mr.  William 
G.  McAdoo,  president  of  the  Society,  acted  as  toastmaster.  He  said. 
Gentlemen  of  the  New  York  Southern  Society:  It  is  customary  on 
these  occasions  to  drink  a  formal  toast  to  the  President  of  the  United 
States.  I  want,  this  year,  to  make  it  more  personal.  The  President 
has  appointed  a  Southerner  Chief  Justice  of  the  Supreme  Court.  I 
give  you  the  health  of  William  H.  Taft,  President  of  the  United 
States. 

(The  toast  was  drunk  standing,  and  the  company  joined  in  singing 
"America.") 

In  an  audience  composed  of  Southern  men,  I  must  admit  that  it  Is 
with  reluctance  that  we  give  even  to  the  President  of  the  United  States 
precedence  over  the  ladies.  But  while  we  have  respect  for  that  great 
office,  we  must  also  show  proper  appreciation,  as  we  are  always  glad 
to  do,  for  that  part  of  Southern  life  which  is  the  best  there  is  of  it. 
A  few  days  ago  when  people  were  crowding  on  a  street  car  in  Chicago, 
a  Southern  conductor  was  urging  them  to  "step  lively."  An  old  woman 
plaintively  appealed  to  the  conductor  with  these  words:  "Won't  you 
please,  Mr.  Conductor,  wait  long  enough  for  an  old  and  fat  lady  to 
get  on  board?"  The  conductor,  with  true  Southern  gallantry,  replied: 
"Certainly,  madam,  where  is  she?"  This  sort  of  consideration  and 
of  deference  to  woman  is  indicative  of  the  spirit  of  the  South,  and  I 
ask  you  to  rise  and  drink  a  toast  which  we  make  secondary  only  to 
that  to  the  President  of  the  United  States — the  Ladies. 

(The  toast  was  honored  standing.) 

I  will  read  you  a  quotation:  "Absolute  good  faith  in  dealing  with 
the  people,  an  unhesitating  fidelity  to  every  principle  involved,  is  the 
highest  law  of  political  morality  under  a  constitutional  government." 

Gentlemen,  that  sounds  like  an  utterance  of  Abraham  Lincoln,  one 
of  the  greatest  men  whom  God  ever  created.  But,  as  a  matter  of  fact. 
It  Is  an  utterance  of  Woodrow  Wilson,  It  has  a  strange  sound  now; 
it  seems  almost  heretical,  but  it  Is  a  tocsin  of  hope.    It  is  a  declara* 

44 


THE  STANDARDS  OF  LEADERSHIP  45 

tlon  of  promise;  it  gives  hope  to  the  people  that  the  time  has  come 
when  platforms  and  ante-election  promises  mean  something. 

That  man  who  keeps  faith  with  the  people,  who  observes  inflexibly 
the  promises  made  to  induce  his  election,  who  maintains  in  public 
life  the  high  standards  which  have  characterized  his  private  life,  as 
Woodrow  Wilson  has,  may  obtain  anything  that  he  wants  from  the 
people.  The  longer  I  live,  the  more  I  realize  that  the  scarcest  thing 
which  Nature  has  contributed  to  mankind  is  backbone,  and  that  is 
particularly  true  of  the  men  who  hold  public  oflBce.  They  have  one 
thing  to  say  to  the  people  before  they  are  elected,  and  an  entirely 
different  thing  to  do  after  they  have  been  elected.  Woodrow  Wilson 
is  a  notable  exception  to  that  rule,  I  prophesy,  even  before  he  has 
taken  the  oath  of  office  as  Governor  of  the  State  of  New  Jersey. 

I  call  to  mind  three  conspicuous  examples  of  men  who  have  kept 
faith  with  the  people, — Abraham  Lincoln,  Grover  Cleveland  and  Theo- 
dore Roosevelt.  Each  of  them  became  a  President  of  the  United  States. 
We  have  already  drunk  a  toast  to  the  President  of  the  United  States. 
I  invite  you,  gentlemen,  to  drink  to  the  health  of  a  future  President 
of  the  United  States. 

I  now  have  the  honor,  gentlemen,  to  introduce  to  you  the  Hon. 
Woodrow  Wilson  of  New  Jersey. 

Mr.  President,  Ladies  and  Gentlemen :  The  very  kind  intro- 
duction I  have  just  heard  destroys  my  sense  of  identity.  I  am 
told  by  psychologists  that  our  memories  are  the  seat  of  our  sense 
of  identity,  and  that  if  I  did  not  remember  who  I  was  yester- 
day, I  could  not  for  the  life  of  me  tell  you  who  I  am  to-day.  In 
view  of  the  confused  and  unexpected  happenings  of  the  recent 
past,  I  find  it  difficult  to  remember  who  I  was  yesterday.  I  find 
myself  in  one  respect  (I  hope  in  only  one  respect),  resembling 
certain  individuals  I  heard  of  in  a  story  that  was  repeated  to 
me  the  other  day.  A  friend  of  mine  was  in  Canada  with  a  fishing 
party,  and  one  member  of  the  party  was  imprudent  enough  to 
sample  some  whiskey  that  was  called  "squirrel"  whiskey.  It 
was  understood  that  it  was  called  "squirrel"  whiskey  because 
it  made  those  who  drank  it  inclined  to  climb  a  tree.  This  gen- 
tleman imbibed  too  much  of  this  dangerous  liquid  and  the  con- 
sequence was  that  when  he  went  to  the  train  to  go  with  the  rest 
of  the  company,  he  took  a  train  bound  South  instead  of  a  train 
bound  North.  Wishing  to  recover  him,  his  companions  tele- 
graphed the  conductor  of  the  south-bound  train:    "Send  short 


46  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

man  named  Johnson  back  for  the  north-bound  train.  He  is 
intoxicated."  Presently  they  got  a  reply  from  the  conductor: 
"Further  particulars  needed;  there  are  thirteen  men  on  the 
train  who  don't  know  either  their  name  or  their  destination." 

Now,  I  am  sure  that  I  know  my  name,  but  I  am  not  as  sure 
as  Mr.  McAdoo  that  I  know  my  destination,  and  I  have  at  the 
present  so  much  to  do  that  I  don't  think  I  am  very  much  con- 
cerned where  I  land,  provided  I  land  on  some  people 's  necks. 

Mr.  McAdoo  said  I  was  one  of  those  rare  specimens  that  have 
backbone.  If  that  is  true,  and  I  have  reason  to  suspect  it  is,  I 
deserve  no  credit  for  it,  for  I  came  of  about  as  pure  fighting 
stock  as  can  be  found  on  this  continent,  with  a  dash  of  that 
excellent  fighting  element  known  as  ''the  Irish"  in  me.  I  have 
no  documentary  proof  of  that  fact,  but  only  internal  evidence. 
There  is  something  in  me  that  takes  the  strain  off  my  Scotch  con- 
science occasionally,  and  gives  me  delightfully  irresponsible 
moments. 

I  was  thinking,  as  I  looked  over  this  company  of  fellow- 
Southerners,  that  we  were  about  to  lose  one  of  our  distinctions. 
During  the  recent  campaign  in  New  Jersey,  I  was  driving  to 
the  place  of  meeting  where  I  was  condemned  to  speak,  and  the 
gentleman  who  was  accompanying  me  said:  **I  am  feeling 
very  uneasy.  Here  I  have  been  working  in  a  hopeless  minority 
for  twenty  years,  and  now  I  am  afraid  it  is  fashionable  to  be  a 
Democrat."  If  it  should  become  fashionable  to  be  a  Democrat, 
we  would  lose  one  of  our  distinctions.  We  have  prided  our- 
selves upon  being  Democrats,  but  if  it  becomes  common,  at  least 
it  will  not  be  a  matter  of  pride ;  and  it  looks  very  much  as  though 
it  were  becoming  common.  Then  there  will  be  some  distinction 
that  we  will  have  to  recover  out  of  our  past,  so  as  not  to  mix  with 
the  common  herd.  After  all,  gentlemen,  when  we  look  back 
upon  the  past  there  are  more  things  to  be  glad  about  than  to  be 
sad  about.  As  I  look  back  upon  the  past  of  the  South,  it  seems 
to  me  to  contain  that  best  of  all  dynamic  forces,  the  force  of 
emotion.  "We  talk  a  great  deal  about  being  governed  by  mind, 
by  intellect,  by  intelligence,  in  this  boastful  day  of  ours ;  but  as 


THE  STANDARDS  OF  LEADERSHIP  47 

a  matter  of  fact,  I  don 't  believe  that  one  man  out  of  a  thousand 
is  governed  by  his  mind. 

Men,  no  matter  what  their  training,  are  governed  by  their 
passions,  and  the  most  we  can  hope  to  accomplish  is  to  keep  the 
handsome  passions  in  the  majority. 

One  of  the  handsomest  passions  is  that  sort  of  love  which 
binds  us  to  the  communities  in  which  we  live ;  and  as  I  look  back 
to  my  life  in  the  South,  and  recall  all  the  things  we  have  said 
and  read  and  written  about  that  region  to  which  our  affection 
clings,  it  seems  to  me  that  the  most  conspicuous  thing  of  all  is 
the  sense  of  solidarity  among  Southerners,  the  sense  of  a  com- 
mon origin,  a  common  set  of  ideals,  a  common  set  of  purposes; 
a  union,  which  cannot  be  severed,  with  the  neighborhoods  to 
which  they  once  belonged.  The  peril  of  a  man  is  detachment 
from  the  compulsions  of  a  neighborhood,  and  what  saves  him  is 
the  integrity  of  his  attachment  to  a  neighborhood.  If  you  have 
made  a  career  which  makes  you  hesitate,  because  of  a  touch  of 
shame,  to  go  back  and  see  your  old  neighbors  in  the  South,  then, 
if  it  is  not  too  late,  reform.  Turn  right  about  face,  and  do 
something  that  will  make  you  willing  and  proud  to  go  back  and 
see  the  old  neighbors,  because  after  all,  those  are  the  rootages 
of  patriotism.  A  man  cannot  love  a  country  in  the  abstract,  a 
man  cannot  love  a  country  that  he  has  not  seen  and  touched  and 
been  part  of,  and  the  real  rootages  of  your  patriotism  are  the 
rootages  of  your  youth,  those  wells  from  which  you  drew  aU  the 
first  inspirations  of  your  life  and  of  your  action. 

It  pays  to  have  gone  through  the  fire,  as  the  South  has  gone 
through  the  fire,  because  it  means  a  body  of  chastened  emotion. 
It  means  men  who  have  submitted  to  the  inevitable,  and  then, 
recalling  those  broader  motives  of  the  earlier  day  of  the  South, 
they  turn  again  to  the  common  love  of  country,  and  are  devoting 
to  the  country  the  great  impulses  which  have  sprung  out  of 
neighborly  men  and  loving  women. 

There  is  another  thing  that  Southerners  have  got  out  of  the 
South  which  is  a  great  capital  to  bank  upon  in  the  conduct  of 
public  affairs.     There  was  a  strange  contradiction  in  the  old 


48  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

South,  and  it  is  to  be  found  lingering  as  a  characteristic  in  the 
modern  Southerner.  The  old  Southerner  was  a  great  indi- 
vidualist; nothing  was  so  marked  in  him  as  his  sense  of  his 
individual  dignity.  He  resented  nothing  so  much  as  having 
people  impose  their  opinions  upon  him.  And  yet,  at  the  same 
time,  there  went  with  that  the  compulsion,  the  absolute  compul- 
sion, of  common  ideals.  He  was  an  individual,  but  he  said  to 
himself  also  that  he  was  a  Southerner,  that  he  belonged  to  a 
Society,  a  Society  in  which  there  were  definite  rules  of  conduct 
from  which  even  he,  if  he  wished,  did  not  dare  to  depart.  There 
was  in  him  a  strange  combination  of  individualism,  plus  sub- 
mission to  common  ideals ;  and  yet,  when  you  think  of  it,  that  is 
the  very  analysis  of  a  vital  nation — men  of  initiative,  men  who 
follow  the  impulses  of  their  own  characters,  men  who  will  not 
be  put  upon,  men  who  will  not  be  put  into  a  common  mould  of 
opinion  and  obliged  to  conform  to  it,  and  yet  men  who  do  not 
wish  to  fling  free  from  the  understandings  of  communities,  from 
the  standards  of  nations,  from  the  historic  memories  which  con- 
stitute the  compulsions  for  the  present  and  for  the  future.  That 
is  the  way  you  combine  a  free  and  a  vigorous  and  united  people. 
There  went  along  with  that,  in  the  old  South,  something 
which,  after  all,  is  the  essence  of  all  movement  together,  namely, 
loyalty  to  leaders.  Many  of  the  things  that  I  am  saying  can 
also  be  said  with  equal  truth  of  some  other  parts  of  the  country. 
They  can  be  said  of  old  New  England,  as  well  of  the  old  South. 
I  am  not  now  discriminating  by  way  of  disparaging  other  com- 
munities, I  am  simply  recalling  to  you  what  was  characteristic 
of  ourselves  in  the  past ;  and  one  of  the  chief  of  those  character- 
istics was  loyalty  to  leaders.  And  that  for  a  very  interesting 
reason,  it  seems  to  me.  The  old  leaders  in  the  South  may  be  said 
to  have  been  embodiments  of  the  South  itself.  Do  you  remember 
the  very  interesting  analysis  that  the  historian  Green  gives  of 
the  power  of  Queen  Elizabeth  over  her  subjects?  She  was  a 
sort  of  generalized  Englishwoman;  the  impulses  that  she  had 
were  the  impulses  that  were  common  to  English  men  and  women 
throughout  her  kingdom,  so  that  her  judgments  they  instinct- 
ively recognized  as  their  judgments ;  her  purposes  for  the  coun- 


THE  STANDARDS  OF  LEADERSHIP  49 

try  they  at  once  accepted  as  their  purposes.  There  was  England 
embodied  in  an  imperious  woman,  which  makes  of  her  one  of 
the  greatest  figures  and  one  of  the  great  forces  of  history.  When- 
ever you  get  a  person  who  is  an  essential  leader,  you  will  find 
that  he  or  she  embodies  a  people.  A  leader  may  embody  the 
worst  part  or  the  best  part  for  the  time  being,  but  people  must 
find  their  own  selves  expressed  in  those  whom  they  follow. 

You  remember  that  Elizabeth  had  the  very  interesting  instinct 
always  to  lie  to  foreign  governments,  but  she  never  lied  to  her 
English  subjects.  In  the  vulgar,  they  were  "on  to"  her.  If 
she  had  lied  to  them  they  would  have  known  it,  whereas  she 
could  lie  to  foreign  ministers,  and  they  didn't  know  it.  She  was 
the  most  consummate  liar,  and  yet  the  most  honest  impersonation 
of  England  that  English  history  has  produced.  I  won't  apolo- 
gize to  the  English  people  for  that  statement,  because  I  take  it 
from  an  Englishman. 

But,  that  will  illustrate  for  you  what  I  am  thinking  of  when 
I  am  speaking  of  the  relation  of  the  old  Southerner  to  his  leader. 
His  leader  did  not  have  to  explain  things  to  him,  he  knew  what 
was  in  his  mind ;  he  could  go  anywhere,  for  example  to  Congress, 
and  could  say  anything  he  pleased  for  the  impression  that  it 
would  make  upon  Northern  audiences;  he  didn't  have  to  tell 
the  people  at  home  what  he  reaUy  meant  or  why  he  was  saying 
it.  He  was  their  spokesman  and  embodiment.  There  were 
things  that  he  said  for  others,  but  they  understood.  Do  you 
remember  that  story  that  Polk  Miller  tells  so  admirably? — and 
which  I  wish  I  could  tell  as  well !  An  old  darkey  went  into  a 
drug  store  in  Richmond  and  said:  **Boss,  will  you  call  de 
Colonel  on  de  telephone?"  **Yes."  And  he  called  the  Colonel. 
The  old  darkey  said :  * '  Colonel,  dat  'ar  mule  done  stall  right  in 
de  main  street  right  out  yere  in  front  of  de  store."  "Yassah, 
I  done  tied  strings  roun'  his  ears,  but  he  didn't  budge.'* 
** What's  dat?  What's  dat?  Yassah,  I  built  a  fire  under  him, 
but  it  didn't  do  nothin'  but  scorch  de  hahness."  "Yassah,  yas- 
sah, I  took  de  things  out,  but  he  wouldn't  budge."  "Yassah, 
yassah;  what's  dat?  No  sah,  no  sah.  Colonel,  I  didn't  twist  his 
tail"    "Yassah,  yassah,  another  gen'lman  twist  his  tail.     He 


50  AFTEK-DINNER  SPEECHES 

looked  like  a  Northe'n  gen'Ieman."  ** What's  dat,  Colonel? 
Yassah,  dey  done  take  him  to  de  hospital."  "No  sah,  no  sah,  I 
ain  't  heerd  yet. ' ' 

Now,  you  see  that  doesn't  need  any  explanation  to  you.  You 
ain't  gwine  twist  his  tail,  you  don't  need  to  have  the  habits  of 
the  animal  explained  to  you ;  but  the  Northern  gentleman  did, 
in  that  ease. 

All  these  things,  gentlemen,  though  we  may  give  them  a 
whimsical  turn,  have  a  very  serious  import,  because,  look  at  the 
analysis  we  are  now  trying  to  make  of  our  national  life  and  of 
our  national  government.  We  hear  a  great  deal  nowadays  about 
the  contest  of  opinion  between  the  powers  which  should  be  exer- 
cised by  the  federal  government  and  the  powers  which  should 
be  exercised  by  the  state.  I  must  say  I  don't  know  "how  to 
debate  the  question  in  its  latest  terms,  because  its  latest  terms 
are  elusive;  they  vary  from  utterance  to  utterance,  and  I  don't 
think  there  ought  to  be  any  sense  of  controversy  about  this  thing. 
No  sane  man  that  I  know  is  jealous  of  the  power  of  the  federal 
government.  We  wish  the-  federal  government  to  exercise  to 
the  utmost  its  legitimate  powers  in  the  protection  of  our  common 
interests  and  we  want  to  find  ways  in  which  it  may  protect  us 
within  the  field  naturally  and  properly  assigned  to  the  action  of 
the  common  government.  There  is  no  jealousy  there,  and  there 
ought  to  be  no  contest  or  opposition  there.  But,  don't  you  see 
that  that  is  only  one  side  of  our  character,  this  compulsion  of 
common  purposes,  common  ideals,  common  standards,  and  that, 
on  the  other  hand,  there  is  our  instinct  of  individualism?  We 
believe  that  as  Southerners,  and  we  believe  it  as  Americans — 
for  I  believe  that  in  these  respects  the  Southerner  expresses  in 
some  unusually  vivid  way  what  belongs  to  all  Americans.  We 
do  not  wish  individual  initiative  to  be  choked  by  the  common 
action ;  and  what  we  are  really  striving  for  is  the  utmost  variety 
of  initiative,  the  utmost  variety  of  energy,  in  the  midst  of  action 
towards  common  purposes.  That  is  the  reason  we  are  jealous 
to  see  the  powers  of  the  states  wisely  and  energetically  exercised ; 
not  because  they  are  in  competition  with  the  powers  of  the  fed- 
eral government,  but  because  they  are  in  themselves  the  seat  in 


THE  STANDARDS  OF  LEADERSHIP  51 

which  resides  so  much  of  the  energy  and  initiative  and  common 
sense  of  our  own  people.  We  want  to  see  every  center  of  vitality 
exercise  its  energy  to  the  utmost,  and  with  the  utmost  intelli- 
gence; just  as  the  individual  must  not  be  crushed  by  the  com- 
munity, so  the  state  must  not  be  crushed  by  common  action,  not 
because  of  theoretical  jealousies,  but  because  of  the  nature  of 
energy  in  human  action.  Crush  the  individual  and  the  body 
declines  in  energy;  crush  the  initiative  of  the  locality,  of  the 
community,  of  the  state,  and  there  begins  the  decline  of  the 
common  energy  which  lies  back  of  the  federal  government  itself. 
That  is  the  reason  it  is  no  joke  to  be  elected  the  Governor  of 
the  state. 

Now,  all  of  that  means  that  you  must  not  look  in  any  one 
place  for  your  leader,  you  must  raise  up  your  leaders  wherever 
you  are.  That  is  the  price  of  energy  and  of  action.  You  must 
multiply  your  leaders  by  the  number  of  instrumentalities  there 
are  to  lead,  and  you  must  insist  upon  it  that  wherever  leader- 
ship is  necessary,  you  will  find  a  leader  who  will  embody  the 
community — not  simply  somebody  who  is  grinding  his  own  axe, 
or  who  represents  a  small  group  of  persons,  but  somebody  who 
really  represents  the  community  and  can  be  its  spokesman  and 
leader. 

That  is  the  only  real  leadership;  but  you  must  demand  a 
particular  kind  of  leadership,  which  is  more  necessary  at  this 
time  than  it  has  ever  been  before  in  the  history  of  this  country. 
It  will  be  difficult  to  find;  you  can  get  it  only  by  disciplining 
your  leaders,  not  by  throwing  the  reins  upon  their  necks  and 
allowing  them  to  have  their  own  way.  You  must  insist  that 
your  leaders  combine  self-assertion  with  self-sacrifice.  You  must 
demand  of  them  that  they  take  the  lead  fearlessly,  and  that  the 
particular  thing  that  they  shall  not  fear  shall  be  the  conse- 
quences. 

I  remember  the  story  of  a  Mississippi  steamboat  captain  who 
had  to  tie  up  because  a  fog  lay  low  on  the  river.  The  upper 
decks  of  the  boat  were  left  above  the  fog.  If  you  stood  on  the 
upper  deck  you  could  see  the  clear  heaven  above  you,  but  all  the 
river  bottom  lay  shrouded  in  mist,  and  one  of  the  passengers, 


52  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

impatient  to  get  on,  said:  "Captain,  why  don't  you  go  ahead?" 
The  captain  replied:  **I  can't  see  the  way."  ** Well,"  said  the 
passenger,  "you  can  see  the  north  star."  "Yes,"  said  the  cap- 
tain, "but  we  are  not  going  that  way." 

Now,  it  is  all  very  well  to  see  ulterior  objects,  it  is  all  very 
well  to  have  your  eye  upon  distant  goals,  but  don't  steer  by 
them ;  steer  by  the  channel  of  the  river,  steer  by  the  thing  near 
at  hand,  steer  by  the  immediate  task  and  duty,  and  oblige  your 
men  to  combine  with  self-assertion,  self-forgetfulness  and  self- 
sacrifice 

I  believe  that  that  was  the  spirit  of  the  old  leadership  in  the 
South,  that  men  were  willing  to  sacrifice  themselves  for  what 
they  believed  to  be  a  cause,  knowing  that  political  preferment 
and  political  success  did  not  lie  in  any  personal  ambition  for 
them.  Every  man  must  have  a  vision  of  what  the  people  are 
being  lifted  to ;  for,  it  is  not  individuals  who  are  to  seek  political 
advance,  it  is  communities  that  are  to  seek  political  advance,  and 
the  only  real  leaders  are  the  leaders  that  lift  them  up,  by  never 
so  little,  to  the  new  levels,  that  advance  communities  from 
achievement  to  achievement. 

There  is  another  combination  that  they  must  make,  and  an 
equally  difficult  combination;  they  must  combine  energy  with 
moderation. 

"We  talk  about  progressives  and  reactionaries,  radicals  and 
conservatives,  and  I  think  we  use  the  words  rather  recklessly. 
Nothing  is  progress  which  does  not  progress,  and  some  of  the 
most  radical  courses  perhaps  are  not  progressive,  because  they 
are  not  feasible,  and  therefore  progress  does  not  lie  in  that 
direction.  That  is  not  the  way  in  which  the  channel  of  the  river 
curves,  and  you  cannot  steer  that  way.  You  must  have  energy, 
therefore,  combined  with  moderation. 

An  English  writer  once  defined  a  constitutional  statesman, 
by  which  he  meant  a  statesman  under  a  government  controlled 
by  public  opinion,  as  a  man  of  ordinary  opinions  and  extraor- 
dinary abilities.  That  is  a  very  good  working  idea.  "We  do  not 
want  his  opinions  to  be  too  extraordinary;  it  won't  make  any 
difference  how  extraordinary  his  abilities  are,  provided  he  shares 


THE  STANDARDS  OF  LEADERSHIP  53 

in  some  way  the  general  opinion,  shares  it,  perhaps,  with  a 
clearer  vision  as  to  what  it  is,  but  nevertheless  sees  in  terms  of 
the  common  life,  and  moves  with  moderation  towards  feasible 
ends. 

What  we  are  really  after  in  our  day  is  adjustment,  accommo- 
dation. We  do  not  want  a  warfare  of  interests.  We  have  tried 
too  long  to  accomplish  movement  by  the  mere  correlation  of  hos- 
tile forces  by  setting  one  set  of  interests  against  another,  by  sid- 
ing with  capital  against  labor,  or  with  labor  against  capital,  as 
if  they  were  not,  deep  down  underneath  the  whole  superficial 
view  of  the  question,  essential  partners  in  the  thing  to  be  accom- 
plished. Until  you  get  rid  of  the  idea  that  business  is  the 
exploitation  of  somebody  or  of  some  thing,  you  wiU  not  have 
come  even  to  the  frame  of  mind  which  makes  progress  possible. 
You  may  pile  profits  mountain  high  by  crushing  out  the  com- 
munities, the  energies  upon  which  future  profits  depend;  but,  a 
well-served  community  is  the  only  possible  permanent  basis  for 
prosperous  business.  Well  considered  working  men,  working 
men  dealt  with  fairly,  dealt  with  generously,  are  the  only  men 
who  will  produce  you  the  stuff  that  will  yield  you  future  profit. 

I  have  read  in  the  textbooks  of  political  economy  about 
enlightened  selfishness.  I  have  never  seen  any  selfishness  that 
was  enlightened.  Selfishness  is  a  state  of  utter  darkness,  it  is  a 
state  of  utter  blindness,  and  if  men  could  only  see  that  generosity 
and  public  service  are  profitable,  then  the  millennium  would 
come  along  faster  than  it  is  coming.  What  we  are  seeking,  as 
I  just  now  said,  is  a  programme,  but  not  a  programme  of  war- 
fare, not  a  programme  of  hostilities,  not  a  programme  of  the 
accommodation  of  hostilities  even ;  we  are  not  seeking  that  poor, 
negative,  pale,  colorless  thing  called  a  truce ;  we  are  not  seeking 
a  peace  which  is  a  mere  holding  off  of  the  action  of  passion.  We 
are  seeking  the  kind  of  peace  which  brings  co-operation,  which 
brings  independence,  which  brings  sympathies,  which  brings 
the  release  of  all  the  handsomer  motives  of  humanity.  We  are 
seeking  accommodation.  Every  act,  therefore,  of  public  men  and 
of  private  men,  should  have  as  its  object  to  withdraw  the  veil 
from  men's  eyes,  so  that  they  can  see  their  own  affairs  in  the 


54  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

terms  of  the  neighborhood,  in  the  terms  of  the  community,  in 
the  terms  of  the  life  of  the  nation  itself.  When  we  see  things 
in  that  vision,  we  shall  have  begun  to  see  our  way  amidst  the 
perplexities  of  modem  business,  and  we  shall  then  have  not  only 
a  programme  of  action,  but  a  programme  of  adjustment. 

Did  you  ever  think  of  what  you  mean  by  liberty,  by  free- 
dom? I  have  pictured  it  to  myself  in  this  way:  What  is  a 
perfectly  free  engine,  a  perfectly  free  locomotive  ?  It  is  a  loco- 
motive whose  forces  are  applied  with  the  least  friction;  it  is  a 
locomotive  whose  parts  are  so  assembled  that  they  will  least 
interfere  with  each  other;  and  when  the  great  machine  runs 
free,  you  mean  nothing  else  than  that  she  is  running  with  per- 
fect adjustment.  That,  to  my  mind,  is  an  image  of  the  freedom 
of  the  body  politic.  When  you  are  sailing  a  boat,  and  you  say 
she  is  sailing  free,  what  do  you  mean  ?  If  you  throw  her  up  into 
the  wind,  if  you  are  defying  the  forces  of  Nature,  try  it  and 
see  every  stick  and  inch  of  canvas  in  her  tremble,  and  hear  the 
sailors  say,  "She  is  in  irons,"  because  she  is  not  obedient  to 
the  forces  of  Nature ;  but  let  her  fall  off  a  point  or  two,  let  her 
yield  to  the  great  forces  of  Nature,  let  them  be  her  servant  and 
not  her  antagonist,  and  see  her  run,  see  how  then  she  skims  over 
the  water  like  a  thing  of  freedom  and  a  thing  of  beauty. 

There  again  it  is  a  matter  of  adjustment,  a  matter  of  accom- 
modation, not  a  matter  of  resistance,  I  am  free  to  go  to  the  top 
of  this  building,  in  a  false  sense  of  freedom,  and  jump  off;  but 
if  I  do,  there  won't  be  much  freedom  to  boast  of  afterwards. 
Nature  will  say  to  me,  **You  fool,  didn't  you  know  the  terms  of 
your  freedom?  Didn't  you  know  you  would  break  your  neck?" 
Well,  I  have  got  to  know  that  under  certain  circumstances  I  will 
break  my  neck,  before  I  am  free.  In  other  words,  I  cannot  bo 
free  and  a  fool. 

Now,  business  wishes  to  be  free  of  restraint.  Very  well,  it 
cannot  be  free  of  restraint  until  it  has  found  its  perfect  adjust- 
ment to  the  common  welfare.  How  are  you  going  to  get  this 
spirit  that  I  have  been  speaking  of  expressed  in  action?  Only 
by  finding  leaders — if  you  can — I  cannot  point  them  out  to  you 
— by  searching  for  leaders  and  finding  them  if  you  can,  who 


THE  STANDAEDS  OF  LEADERSHIP  55 

embody  the  people  they  are  trying  to  serve;  by  understanding 
them,  by  having  a  catholic  sympathy,  by  not  being  ready  to 
take  up  the  claim  of  any  class  against  any  other  class,  but  by 
being  ready,  so  far  as  in  their  power  lies,  to  combine  the  interests 
of  classes  in  a  search  for  the  common  adjustment.  When  you 
find  somebody  like  that  great  woman  who  presided  in  the 
spacious  times  of  great  Elizabeth,  who  will  embody  for  you  the 
just  and  common  spirit  of  America,  then  you  will  have  found 
the  way  in  which  to  express  the  forces  of  America. 

Now,  I  have  said  to  you  that  I  do  not  know  where  to  point 
such  a  leader  out,  but  I  have  this  to  suggest:  you  cannot  find 
him  until  you  know  what  you  are  looking  for.  If  you  are  look- 
ing for  a  leader  to  express  the  interests  of  your  class,  you  are 
looking  in  the  wrong  direction.  That  is  not  a  leader,  that  is 
somebody  to  stir  up  antagonism.  Look  for  somebody  who  does 
not  represent  your  class  any  more  than  he  represents  some  other 
class.  A  friend  of  mine  said  of  the  old  adage  that  everything 
comes  to  the  man  who  waits.  "Yes,  that  is  all  very  well  if  you 
add  the  proviso  'provided  he  knows  what  he  is  waiting  for.'  " 
You  cannot  stand  at  the  corner  and  find  the  man  you  are  look- 
ing for  unless  you  know  what  he  looks  like,  unless  you  know 
whom  you  are  seeking;  then  if  you  know  whom  you  are  looking 
for,  when  he  comes  down  the  road  you  will  know  that  you  have 
got  your  man;  therefore,  our  point  of  view,  our  object,  our 
vision,  is  the  first  thing  and  the  fundamental  thing  in  the  future 
of  the  nation.  When  you  have  had  a  vision  of  what  you  want, 
when  you  have  fallen  in  love  with  that  vision;  when  it  has 
seemed  to  you  the  vision  of  a  perfected  nation,  a  nation  per- 
fected by  common  purposes  and  love  of  what  is  just,  then  it  will 
not  be  difficult  to  recognize  the  man  who,  in  his  character  and 
purposes  and  ideals,  fits  that  position,  who  seems  to  have  the 
light  of  it  upon  his  face,  seems  to  follow  the  trail  of  its  glory 
along  the  path  that  leads  to  genuine  national  achievement. 


THE  MEMORY  OF  WASHINGTON. 

Jules  Jusserand. 
Bemarks  of  Edmund  Wetmore,  Toastmaster. 

In  the  absence  of  former  Governor  John  Lee  Carroll,  of  Maryland, 
General  President  of  the  Society  of  Sons  of  the  Revolution,  the  Hon- 
orable Edmund  Wetmore,  a  distinguished  lawyer  of  New  York,  presided 
at  the  banquet  of  the  General  Society,  which  was  held  at  the  New 
WiUard  Hotel,  Washington,  Tuesday  evening,  April  twenty-eighth, 
1908.  Mr.  Wetmore  said,  in  part,  in  accepting  the  responsibility  of 
toastmaster  and  in  Introducing  M.  Jules  Jusserand,  the  Ambassador 
from  France  to  the  United  States:  I  can  only  occupy,  but  not  fill, 
the  place  that  Is  thus  vacant.  The  most  I  can  do  is  to  promise  you 
that  I  will  be  brief.  I  have  no  set  speech,  and  it  is  extremely  diffi- 
cult for  me  to  speak  extemporaneously  without  a  set  speech.  [Laugh- 
ter.] I  feel,  in  that  sense,  somewhat  like  the  gentleman  who  said  that 
when  he  had  something  to  do  before  breakfast,  he  always  took  his 
breakfast  first.  [Laughter.]  However,  I  should  be  tongue-tied  indeed 
if  I  were  unable  to  express  the  gratification  and  pleasure  that  we  all 
have  in  greeting  each  other,  at  this,  our  triennial  meeting,  and  in  con- 
gratulating each  other  upon  its  success.  If  I  may  judge  by  what  I 
have  heard  from  my  fellow  members,  never  have  they  had  a  better 
time.  It  seemed  as  if  Nature  herself  had  suddenly  put  on  her  reful- 
gent summer  robe  to  give  us  a  warm  welcome,  as  soon  as  we  reached 
here.  [Laughter.]  It  may  be  said,  perhaps,  that  this  was  owing  to 
the  visit  immedately  preceding  our  own  of  the  Daughters  of  the 
American  Revolution  [applause] ;  but  Nature  is  always  personified 
as  a  female,  and  the  feminine  creation  never  dress  for  each  other 
[laughter],  therefore  we  may  claim  for  ourselves  the  beauty  Nature 
has  spread  before  us. 

And,  gentlemen,  also  I  should  be  tongue-tied  if  I  could  not  express 
the  infinite  pleasure  that  I  have  in  meeting  you,  my  brethren,  from 
all  over  the  country,  upon  such  an  occasion  as  this.  I  tell  you  that 
to  shake  hands  with  Tennessee  and  Colorado  and  Minnesota — South, 
West,  North — makes  States  lines  disappear;  and  I  feel  a  sympathetic 
brotherhood  with  the  men  that  I  meet  in  these  relations,  upon  the 
ground  of  our  common  patriotism,  that  nothing  else  that  I  come  across 
In  my  intercourse  with  men  can  quite  equal.  [Applause.]  After  all, 
the  most  powerful  influence  down  at  the  bottom  of  our  national  life 

56 


THE  MEMORY  OF  WASHINGTON  57 

Is  sentiment — not  affection,  but  true  sentiment,  real  love  of  country, — 
that  patriotism  whicli  it  is  our  object  to  nourish  and  renew  and  cher- 
ish. It  is  such  meetings  as  this,  it  is  looking  into  your  faces,  it  is 
hearing  you  tallc,  that  makes  me  know  that  beyond  all  political  differ- 
ences, beyond  all  our  troubles,  beyond  all  the  problems  that  we  have 
to  meet,  there  exists  the  feeling  of  love  of  country  bound  up  with  the 
love  of  our  own  home,  so  that  the  music  of  Home,  Sweet  Home,  is 
heard  in  the  rustling  of  our  national  flag,  and  when  I  see  and  feel  thus, 
all  doubt,  all  hesitation  and  unbelief  in  the  future  of  our  country 
melt  away.  [Applause.]  Say  what  we  may,  she  stands  immovable. 
All  our  differences,  all  our  troubles,  all  the  things  that  divide  us  are 
only  mere  shadows  and  mists,  like  those  at  the  base  of  the  mountain; 
but  our  country  itself — God  bless  her — 

"As  some  tall  cliff  that  lifts  its  awful  form. 
Swells  from  the  vale  and  midway  leaves  the  storm, 
Though  round  its  breast  the  rolling  clouds  are  spread, 
Eternal  sunshine  settles  on  the  head."     [Applause.] 

And  with  that  belief,  gentlemen,  do  we  come  forward  with  the 
work  of  our  Society,  and  the  first  toast  of  the  evening  is  the  toast 
to  the  memory  of  Washington. 

(The  toast  to  Washington  was  then  drunk  in  silence,  all  standing.) 

I  have  spoken  of  the  love  of  country.  It  is  still  more,  perhaps,  to 
love  a  country  not  one's  home;  and  it  has  been  our  fortune,  in  our 
nation's  history,  to  have  had  the  hand  of  friendship  extended  to  us 
by  a  people  moved  by  no  other  motive  except  enthusiasm  for  human 
freedom.  True  it  is,  that  in  1777  Vergennes,  a  long  and  clearheaded 
statesman  controlling  the  destinies  of  France,  saw  in  the  American 
Revolution  the  opportunity  to  lower  the  power  and  pride  of  England; 
but  even  in  those  days  he  could  not  have  done  it  except  that  the 
people  of  France  were  behind  him;  and  the  real  sentiment  that 
brought  France  to  our  aid  was  that  which  induced  the  young  Lafayette 
merely  from  the  romantic  love  of  human  freedom  to  cast  his  lot  with 
us  and  to  set  the  example  that  a  nation  followed.    [Applause.] 

When  the  news  of  the  great  alliance  reached  Valley  Forge,  Wash- 
ington had  a  celebration  and  gave  with  particularity  the  orders  of  the 
day,  which  still  survive,  and  among  them  was  that  at  one  stage  of  the 
march  past  there  should  be  huzzas  for  the  king  of  France.  A  century 
and  a  quarter  after  that  we  will  give  the  same  cheer,  slightly  modi- 
fied, and  I  ask  you  to  give  three  cheers  for  our  sister  republic  of 
France,  and  will  ask  our  friend,  the  French  Ambassador,  to  answer. 
[Cheers  and  applause.] 

Mr.  President  and  Gentlemen:    Years  ago,  centuries  ago,  at 


58  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

the  time  when  our  ancestors  all  lived  in  Europe,  they  used  to 
gather  together,  as  we  do,  on  solemn  occasions.  They  partook 
of  banquets,  and  after  the  banquets  they  listened  to  speeches. 
An  account  of  what  were  after-dinner  speeches  at  a  time  when 
Thule  was  still  the  end  of  the  world  and  Columbus  had  not 
yet  crossed  the  Atlantic  has  come  down  to  us.  The  account  is 
in  very  old-fashioned  English  and  in  alliterative  verse ;  modern- 
ized it  reads  thus: 

"When  people  are  feasted  and  fed,  fain  would  they  hear 
some  excellent  thing  after  their  food  to  gladden  their  heart. 
•  *  *  Some  like  to  listen  to  legends  of  saints  that  lost  their 
lives  for  our  Lord's  sake,  some  have  a  longing  to  hearken  to 
lays  of  love,  telling  how  people  suffered  pains  for  their  beloved. 
Some  covet  and  delight  to  hear  talked  of  courtesy  and  knight- 
hood and  craft  of  arms." 

These  tastes  and  habits  have  been,  I  may  say,  handed  down 
to  us  unimpaired,  and  it  is  to  hear  something  about  the  same 
subjects  that  we  are  gathered  together  to-night.  Indeed  the 
very  same  subjects,  legends  of  the  saints  included ;  for  was  there 
not  something  holy  in  the  task  chosen  for  themselves  by  the 
heroes  of  the  War  of  Independence,  something  holy  in  their 
deeds,  something  holy,  too,  in  the  way  which  they  lost  their  lives, 
many  of  them,  to  gain  for  their  descendants  liberty? 

Courtesy,  knighthood,  craft  of  arms  are  also  what  we  want 
to  hear  about.  More  courteous,  better  knights,  harder  fighters, 
truer  to  their  pledge  than  those  who  under  the  American  or 
French  flag  fought  for  independence  had  never  been  seen.  What 
nobler  knight  than  George  Washington  [great  applause],  that 
unwavering  believer  who  knew  success  and  reverses,  knew 
glorious  and  sad  days,  but  never  knew  fear  or  despair.  His 
trust  in  the  excellence  of  his  country's  cause  was  never  shaken; 
when  darkness  was  absolute  and  seemed  meant  to  last  forever, 
he  felt  that,  contrary  to  all  appearances,  only  passing  clouds 
were  darkening  the  sky,  and  that  the  sun  would  shine  again  on 
the  victorious  arms  of  the  friends  of  liberty.  His  country,  his 
knighthood,  his  craft  of  arms  struck  all  those  who  approached 


THE  MEMORY  OF  WASHINGTON  59 

him,  good  judges  themselves  in  such  matters.  To  the  same 
family  of  minds  belonged  that  young  Lafayette  who  had  left 
wife,  child,  relations,  all  the  pleasures  of  a  brilliant  life  in  the 
most  brilliant  capital  of  the  world  for  the  hardships  of  war  in 
a  foreign  land,  which,  however,  soon  ceased  to  be  a  foreign  one 
for  him,  so  truly  was  he  adopted  by  America  and  so  good  a  son 
he  proved  to  her.  The  same  characteristics  were  in  d'Estaing, 
Rochambeau  and  de  Grasse;  de  Grasse  whose  sailors  used  to 
say :  ' '  Our  admiral  is  six  foot  tall,  but  during  the  fight  he  is  six 
foot  and  one  inch."    [Applause.] 

And  such  characteristics  were  not  merely  those  of  the  men, 
but  those  of  the  two  nations  also,  the  characteristics  of  the 
humblest  of  those  planters  who,  not  without  pangs  of  uncer- 
tainty, at  first,  as  to  what  was  for  them  the  rightful  course  to 
follow,  left  their  hearths  to  fight  of  their  own  free  will,  for 
their  country  that  was  to  be,  that  might  be,  that  was  not  yet. 
The  same  with  France,  who  from  the  first,  declared  that  what- 
ever she  did,  she  would  be  merely  an  auxiliary,  and  her  troops 
and  fleets  would  be  the  subordinates  of  that  admirable  man 
George  "Washington;  France  who  declared  that  whatever  hap- 
pened she  would  not  lay  down  arms  before  the  Americans  were 
free.  In  all  which  was  also  found  **  courtesy,  knighthood  and 
craft  of  arms." 

Lays  of  love  were  also  among  the  favorite  kinds  of  speech 
our  ancestors  of  pre-American  times  like  to  hear.  I  wish  a 
more  eloquent  voice  than  mine  would  tell  you  that  lay  of  love, 
without  parallel  in  the  history  of  the  world,  the  first  stanza  of 
which  would  speak  of  French  enthusiasm  and  the  last  of  Amer- 
ican liberty.  For  it  must  not  be  forgotten  that  if  politics  had, 
as  was  natural,  something  to  do  with  the  king's  decision,  it  had 
little  enough  with  the  nation's  passion  for  the  American  cause, 
and  that  passion  was  universal  throughout  France ;  from  palace 
to  hovel  it  was  the  same.  A  striking  proof  consists  in  an  order 
from  the  French  Grcvernment  to  the  physicians  at  Brest  to  be 
very  careful  in  their  examination  of  the  privates  admitted  into 
the  contingents  sent  to  America.    So  keen  was  these  plain  men 's 


60  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

desire  to  go  that  they  would  conceal  any  disease  they  might 
suffer  from,  or  wound  received  in  times  past,  in  order  to  be 
selected  and  to  be  sent  to  America. 

Enthusiasm  is  catching.  All  people  who  happened  to  be  in 
France  in  those  days,  French  or  otherwise,  felt  the  effect  thereof, 
and  it  is  not  one  of  the  remembrances  we  least  fondly  cherish ; 
the  fact  that  all  foreigners  who  came  to  America  and  played  a 
part  in  the  great  struggle  started  from  France,  came  with 
French  help,  filled  with  an  enthusiasm  they  had  imbued  on 
French  soil  for  the  American  cause.  Such  was  the  case  with 
that  valiant  de  Kalb,  a  personal  friend  of  Lafayette,  a  German 
who  held  a  commission  in  the  French  army  and  whose  statue  at 
Annapolis  recalls  his  glorious  death;  such  was  also  the  case 
with  Steuben,  who  was  induced  to  come  by  the  French  Minister 
of  "War,  Count  de  St.  Germain,  for  whom  passage  was  provided 
at  Marseilles  on  board  a  French  gunboat,  and  who  rendered 
such  good  service  in  teaching  military  discipline  to  the  heroic 
but  raw  recruits  at  Valley  Forge ;  such  the  case  also  with  Pulaski, 
who  had  distinguished  himself  in  the  Polish  wars,  and  who 
enlisted  at  Paris  on  the  personal  intervention  of  Count  Ver- 
gennes;  the  same  with  Kosciusko,  drawn  to  America  by  the 
example  of  his  French  friends,  and  who  fought  for  the  United 
States  before  fighting  for  his  own  native  land,  great  in  good  or 
bad  fortune,  equally  respected  through  life  by  his  friends  and 
by  his  foes. 

Yes,  to  tell  this  lay  of  love  and  knighthood,  of  high  aims  and 
enduring  results,  a  more  eloquent  voice  than  mine  would  be 
needed.  A  more  eloquent  one  also  to  tell  of  the  consequences 
of  that  war  in  which  our  forefathers  united,  so  important  for 
America  and  the  whole  world,  when  the  seed  of  liberty,  brought 
back  from  this  country,  was  sown  in  France  first,  and  by  France 
in  many  other  places. 

Years  ago,  before  the  crumbling  trenches  of  Yorktown, 
amidst  the  smoke  of  the  fight,  three  men  stood,  representing 
three  great  nations — ^Washington,  Rochambeau,  Cornwallis.  They 
had  fought  as  enemies,  but  they  were  all  of  them  men  of  heart 
who  had  done  their  best  for  what  they  considered  their  duty. 


THE  MEMORY  OF  WASHINGTON  61 

Each  knew  that  the  other  was  a  worthy  friend  or  a  worthy 
opponent.  Out  of  respect  grows  esteem  and  out  of  esteem  friend- 
ship. If  they  were  to  come  to  life  again  they  would  not  wonder 
at  the  change  that  has  taken  place,  and  they  would  rejoice  at 
the  thought  that  each  of  the  three  nations  is  now  on  terms  of 
sincere  amity  with  the  other. 

As  for  us,  more  than  recompensed  by  the  success  of  our 
efforts,  we  consider  it  one  of  our  national  glories  to  have  been 
the  earliest  well-wishers  of  these  United  States;  and  what  we 
have  been,  I  assure  you,  we  are  still.  [Great  applause  and 
cheers.] 

(The  band  then  played,  and  the  members  sang,  **La  Mar- 
sellaise.") 


THE  IROQUOIS  CLUB. 

Jacob  McGavock  Dickinson. 
Remarks  of  James  Hamilton  Lewis,  Toastm-aster. 

The  proceedings,  in  part,  at  the  Twenty-fourth  Annual  Banquet  of 
the  Iroquois  Club  of  Chicago,  in  honor  of  President  Theodore  Roose- 
velt, held  May  10,  1905,  were  as  follows:  President  Charles  F. 
Gunther:  Gentlemen,  I  take  pleasure  in  presenting  and,  Mr.  Presi- 
dent, in  your  accepting,  the  badge  of  the  Iroquois  Club  as  a  souvenir 
of  this  evening.  [The  speaker  then  handed  President  Roosevelt  an 
Iroquois  Club  badge,  the  acceptance  of  which  by  President  Roosevelt 
was  greeted  with  enthusiastic  applause.]  President  Gunther:  Mr. 
President,  Gentlemen  of  the  Iroquois  Club,  and  Guests:  It  is  with 
pleasure  that  I  welcome  you  to  our  banquet  board  this  evening,  espe- 
cially so  from  the  fact  that  we  have  with  us  our  distinguished  guest, 
the  President  of  the  Nation  [loud  cheering  and  applause],  who  has 
honored  us  with  his  presence.  His  voice  has  been  heard  in  Chicago's 
halls  before. 

I  myself  was  pleased  to  be  present  to  hear  him  speak  at  a  banquet 
in  the  old  Pacific  Hotel  many  years  ago  when  he  was  comparatively  a 
young  man,  a  new  star  rising  in  the  East,  where  he  had  already  made 
a  name  for  himself;  since  which  time  the  country  has  honored  him 
in  his  strenuous  life,  ever  onward  and  upward  to  his  exalted  station 
of  today.  I  believe  he  has  a  warm  spot  in  his  heart  for  the  metropo- 
lis of  the  West,  the  great  city  on  the  unsalted  seas.    [Applause.] 

He  cannot  ignore  the  fact  that  his  personality  captured  our  city 
in  the  last  national  election  by  winning  for  him  the  magnificent 
majority  of  about  110,000  [applause] ;  and  that  within  five  months 
later  the  same  city  gave  a  majority  of  25,000  to  the  opposition  party 
in  politics  to  that  of  the  President.     [Applause.] 

We  welcome  our  guest  for  his  broad,  patriotic  spirit,  for,  like  our- 
selves, he  can  arise  above  party  prejudices  and  animosities,  and  we 
can  say  we  are  of  one  heart  for  our  common  country.     [Applause.] 

We  are  a  people  with  a  government  of  parties,  but  whichever  one 
Is  placed  in  power  by  the  people,  its  leader  at  once  becomes  our  Presi- 
dent, to  be  respected,  loved  and  cherished  as  the  honored  leader  of 
our  nation,  to  support  in  the  hour  of  danger  without  and  discord 
within,  [Applause.]  We  welcome  you,  Mr.  President,  because  of  the 
support  and  example  you  have  given  of  a  strenuous  life  to  young 

62 


iBB  IROQUOIS  CLUB  63 

America,  We  welcome  you  for  your  courage  In  the  hour  of  duty. 
When  the  nation  called  its  sons  to  arms,  you  were  foremost  to  hare 
your  breast  to  defend  its  honor  on  the  field  of  battle.  [Applause.] 
We  welcome  you  because  you  return  to  us  from  the  western  wilds, 
where  you  have  conquered  Bruin  in  his  native  mountain  fastness. 
[Laughter  and  applause.]  I  also  know  that  you  have  captured  not 
only  the  scalps  of  the  Iroquois  chiefs,  but  their  hearts  [applause], 
which  will  be  part  of  the  trophies  you  will  take  with  you  on  your 
return.  We  welcome  you,  Mr.  President,  to  Chicago,  not  for  ourselves 
alone,  but  for  the  others,  and  you  have  seen  fit  to  lend  your  presence 
with  a  glad  hand  and  a  buoyant  heart.  And  lastly  we  welcome  you 
because  you  believe  in  the  high  and  immortal  principles  of  Thomas 
Jefferson, — equal  rights  to  all  and  special  privileges  to  none  [loud 
cheering  and  applause],  and  in  the  American  spirit  of  1776  that  has 
builded  up  our  constitutional  liberties  and  dares  to  maintain  and 
preserve  them,  and  with  this  we  greet  our  honored  guest,  and  bid  you 
all  welcome  to  the  banquet  board.     [Applause.] 

I  am  pleased  to  name  as  toastmaster  of  the  evening  the  Honorable 
James  Hamilton  Lewis.     [Applause.] 

James  Hamilton  Lewis:  Gentlemen,  I  am  unable  to  offer  you  any 
other  justification  for  the  transfer  of  these  proceedings  from  the  genial 
and  accomplished  President  of  the  Club  to  myself  than  may  be  found 
in  the  reasons  advanced  by  our  distinguished  guest,  some  time  since, 
wherein  I  was  qualified  for  the  Vice-Presidency. 

We  both — as  had  many  others  in  official  life — ^left  our  posts  and 
entered  the  army  in  Cuba.  He  returned  with  brilliant  reputation;  I, 
with  brilliant  uniform.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  We  both  became 
candidates  for  the  Vice-Presidency.  He  won.  I,  as  was  my  habit,  got 
beat.  [Laughter.]  During  the  campaign  of  1900  mutual  friends  met 
us  in  the  Auditorium  Annex  and  began  rallying  us  on  our  fates.  The 
then  Governor  Roosevelt  said,  "Never  mind,  Lewis,  the  fact  that  I  won 
and  you  lost  merely  shows  that  the  country  recognized  in  us  both 
qualities  to  represent  the  Vice  President.  They  know  I  could  repre- 
sent the  President  part  and  you  could  represent  the  Vice."  [Laughter 
and  applause.] 

President  Gunther,  I  accept  the  trust  with  appreciation.  I  shall 
discharge  it  without  delay.  In  the  moment,  however,  I  beg  to  chal- 
lenge your  attention  to  the  scene  which  surrounds  you;  that  we  may 
note  the  presence  of  the  distinguished  head  of  a  distinguished  po- 
litical party  sitting  as  a  guest  and  counsellor  of  the  official  organi- 
zation of  his  political  opposition — an  event  in  the  political  history  of. 
our  nation  unparalleled,  save  in  the  single  instance  of  the  entertain- 
ment of  President  James  Monroe  In  Philadelphia  by  an  antagonistic 
political  society  during  that  other  era  of  good  feeling  in  1824. 


64  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

The  scene  tonight  may  well  reanimate  the  heart  of  the  patriot,  as 
it  should  quell  the  fright  of  him  who  fears  that  political  rivalry  will 
rend  asunder  the  ties  of  the  Union  or  party  hatred  snap  the  cords  of 
affection  which  bind  man  to  man.  Marking  the  spirit  which  hovers 
over  the  object  of  this  gathering  and  consecrates  it  to  a  broader  fra- 
ternity in  man  and  stronger  unity  in  nation,  the  historian  of  the 
future  may  well  take  a  new  hope  of  his  country  and  cry  out, — ^para- 
phrasing Philip  of  Falconbridge  in  King  John, — 

Now  that  our  princes,  which  were  late  opposed. 

Sit  side  by  side; 
Come  the  three  corners  of  the  earth  in  arms. 

And  we  shall  shock  them; 
For  naught  shall  make  us  rue. 
If  an  American  to  himself  do  rest  but  true. 

[Applause.] 

The  first  of  the  toasts:  "The  Iroquois  Club."  Gentlemen,  to  your 
feet  with  lifted  glass.    This  be  the  sentiment  of  an  Iroquoisan: 

North  or  south,  east  or  west; 

A  rising  glass  to  our  honored  guest. 

[The  toast  was  drunk  standing,  amidst  enthusiastic  applause.] 
The  Christian  Advocate  publishes  that  a  little  boy  in  Tennessee, 
answering  his  examination  in  anatomy,  defined  the  spinal  column  as 
"a  long  wriggly  bone  running  down  a  man's  back,  with  the  man's 
head  and  brains  settin'  on  one  end,  and  the  man  hisse'f  settin'  on  the 
other."  [Laughter.]  Tennessee  claims  to  be  the  backbone  of  the 
South.  We  grant  her  that  unction.  And  while  she  sits  upon  that 
end  of  the  consolation,  we  remind  her  that  the  head  and  brains  of 
the  other  end  have  been  transferred  to  the  shoulders  of  Chicago. 
[Applause.]  And  while  we  accept  the  hostage  with  the  acclaim  of  a 
proud  conqueror,  nevertheless  we  hear  the  moan  of  his  first  mother 
as  she  wails  out,  in  the  words  of  his  favorite  Odyssey,  "Ulysses  is 
gone,  and  there's  none  left  in  Ithaca  to  bend  his  bow."  I  have  the 
honor  to  present  to  the  toast  that  national  statesman,  international 
lawyer  and  orator,  former  distinguished  Tennesseean,  now  illustrious 
Illinoisan,  Honorable  J.  M.  Dickinson.     [Applause.] 

Mr.  President,  IMr.  Toastmaster,  and  Gentlemen:  All  of  us 
have  not  been  fortunate  enough  to  see  Mr.  Lewis  in  his  brilliant 
uniform,  but  all  of  us  can  testify  to  the  fact  that  he  is  uniformly 
brilliant.  [Applause.]  It  gives  us  great  joy  to  welcome  to  the 
security  of  a  simple  life  the  President,  who,  happily,  has  escaped 


THE  IROQUOIS  CLUB  65 

the  perils  incident  to  the  pursuit  of  savage  beasts,  which  are  no 
respecters  of  person.  I  feared  for  his  safety  lest  the  bears  of 
Colorado  should  prove  less  considerate  than  those  of  Mississippi, 
which  held  a  convention  in  the  Sunflower  cane-brakes  for  the 
purpose  of  considering  the  rumors  of  his  proposed  hunt  in  that 
state.  [Laughter.]  A  little  bear  said:  **Why  does  he  want 
to  kill  us?  "We  have  always  admired  him  for  his  strenuosity; 
we  have  never  done  nor  wished  him  any  harm.  We  are  entitled 
to  a  square  deal  and  an  equal  opportunity."  [Laughter  and 
applause.]  "Let  us  combine  and  waylay  him  and  avenge  our- 
selves for  this  unprovoked  assault  on  our  lives."  This  proposi- 
tion was  about  to  prevail  when  the  patriarch  of  the  forest  arose 
and  said:  "Brothers,  what  you  say  is  true.  We  could  kill  him, 
and  under  ordinary  circumstances  we  would  kill  him;  but  if 
necessary  we  must  sacrifice  our  lives  for  the  good  of  the  coun- 
try"— [laughter  and  applause] — ^"for  they  would  go  right  off 
and  lay  it  on  the  South." 

Right  here  I  desire  publicly  to  refute  the  oft  repeated  slander 
that  the  President's  Mississippi  bear  hunt  was  a  fiasco.  While 
in  the  hurley-burley  of  a  chase  in  the  dense  forests — and  those 
of  you  who  are  hunters  will  appreciate  this — conditions  were 
such  that  he  did  not  in  propria  persona  give  the  coup  de  grace, 
yet  I  am  witness  to  the  fact  that  he  instigated  the  untimely  tak- 
ing off  of  three  bears,  and  he  could  be  held  as  particeps  criminis, 
if  not  as  principal.     [Laughter  and  applause.] 

In  the  short  time  allotted  to  me,  I  wish.to  offer  some  thoughts 
upon  this  unique  occasion,  the  conjunction  of  a  Republican 
President  and  a  Democratic  Club.  [Applause.]  From  the  very 
nature  of  our  political  organism  it  is  only  through  the  vivifying 
power  of  political  parties  that  governmental  theories  find  prac- 
tical expression.  Except  in  the  earliest  days  of  the  Republic, 
before  there  was  a  crystallization  of  opposing  principles  and  a 
clear  party  cleavage,  all  those  who  were  dominant  in  the  legis- 
lative and  executive  departments  of  the  government  were  poten- 
tial because  they  were  party  leaders.  Jefferson,  Hamilton,  Jack- 
son, Clay,  Webster,  Calhoun,  Lincoln,  Cleveland,  McKinley  and 
Roosevelt  as  independents  might  have  descanted  upon  the  times, 


66  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

propounded  fine  theories,  uttered,  like  a  prophet  of  old,  solemn 
warnings,  but  never  without  a  party  behind  them  could  they 
have  endowed  their  country  with  the  greatness  which  has  come 
from  their  resplendent  achievements.     [Applause.] 

The  Iroquois  Club  was  founded  in  1880  for  the  purpose  of 
adding  to  the  organized  strength  of  the  Democratic  party.  Those 
who  originated  it,  not  only  believed  that  it  was  the  duty  of  every 
good  citizen  to  take  an  active  part  in  governmental  affairs,  but 
that  their  efforts  could  only  reach  their  highest  efficiency  through 
party  action.  It  is,  I  am  told,  the  oldest  political  club  in  the 
state.  It  has  survived  the  vicissitudes  of  party,  rejoicing  in  its 
victories  and  maintaining  its  serenity  of  soul,  giving  hope  and 
encouragement  in  times  of  adversity.  [Applause.]  As  a  club 
it  has  taken  no  part  in  factional  discord,  has  indorsed  no  man 
for  office  except  the  nominees  of  the  party,  and  has,  from  the 
beginning,  maintained,  not  only  emblazoned  upon  its  shield  but 
controlling  its  life,  these  principles:  the  separate  independence 
of  the  judicial,  executive  and  legislative  departments  of  gov- 
ernment ;  recognition  of  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  United  States 
as  the  proper  tribunal  for  the  final  determination  of  all  consti- 
tutional questions;  an  indivisible  union  of  indestructible  states; 
a  strict  maintenance  of  the  public  faith;  public  office  a  public 
trust,  admission  to  which  should  depend  upon  proven  fitness; 
appointments  to  subordinate  offices  to  be  from  those  who  have 
shown  their  qualifications  by  open  and  competitive  examina- 
tions; no  removal  of  persons  in  subordinate  offices  for  political 
opinion,  or  forced  contributions  for  political  purposes;  the 
tenure  of  subordinate  offices  to  be  during  good  behavior;  tariff 
for  revenue  only,  at  the  earliest  practicable  period  consistent 
with  a  due  regard  for  present  interests  and  the  final  needs  of 
the  government,  and  an  immediate  revision  of  the  present  sys- 
tems so  as  to  equally  and  justly  distribute  its  burdens. 
[Applause.]  I  believe,  Mr.  President,  that  upon  an  examination 
as  to  these  cardinal  doctrines — ^with  possibly  some  reservations 
on  the  tariff  question — [laughter  and  applause]  that  you  could 
qualify  for  admission  upon  profession  of  faith.  [Applause.] 
There  is  nothing  in  these  principles  that  inculcates  a  morbid 


THE  IROQUOIS  CLUB  67 

spirit  of  discontent,  a  narrow  exclusiveness,  or  a  settled  perverse- 
ness  that  will  not  look  out  into  the  political  firmament  and,  with 
admiring  gaze,  recognize  the  brilliancy  of  a  fixed  star  of  the  first 
magnitude,  because  it  belongs  to  a  constellation  not  our  own. 
[Applause.]  Happily  a  broader  and  more  catholic  spirit  per- 
vades our  times  than  in  1844,  when  such  a  wild  frenzy  of 
political  excitement  swept  over  the  country,  with  its  emblematic 
displays  of  log  cabins,  cider  barrels  and  coon  skins,  and  a  Demo- 
cratic or  a  "Whig  girl  would  prefer  to  remain  a  perpetual  wall- 
flower rather  than  accept  the  escort  of  a  political  opponent. 

There  is  a  tradition  in  Tennessee  that  two  brothers,  one  a 
Democrat  and  the  other  a  Whig,  who  were  partners  in  the  law, 
at  the  time  of  highest  tension,  dared  not  visit  each  other  except 
at  night,  and  then  through  the  back  yard  gate.  [Laughter.] 
The  Iroquois  Club,  stronger  in  its  Americanism  than  in  its 
Democracy,  rejoicing  as  citizens  of  our  common  country  in  all 
that  sheds  present  luster  upon  it  and  gives  assurance  of  future 
renown,  with  infinite  pride  opens  wide  its  front  gate  to  a  Repub- 
lican and  would  place  upon  his  brow  a  garland  woven  of  all  that 
is  emblematic  of  patriotic  pride  in  a  President  who  illustrates 
in  his  public  and  private  life  the  excellence  of  an  honest,  able 
and  fearless  Christian  gentleman.  [Applause  followed  by 
cheers.]  It  is  a  tribute,  gentlemen,  rarely,  if  ever,  offered 
before.  Our  distinguished  toastmaster  has  cited,  I  believe,  one 
instance.  The  combination  of  high  qualities  that  would  evoke 
such  a  tribute  is  likewise  rare.  [Applause.]  It  is  an  expression 
of  good  will  and  confidence  that  even  a  President  with  unprece- 
dented victory  has  honored  by  his  acceptance.  It  would  in  the 
calmest  bosom  cause  a  thrill  of  pleasure  to  know  that  his  declara- 
tion, that  not  only  in  name,  but  in  heart  and  sympathy  he  is 
Presideit  of  the  entire  country,  has  been  accepted  with  a  good 
faith  aad  cordiality  equal  to  that  which  inspired  it.  [Applause.] 
If  it  may  seem  to  others  that  there  is  a  spirit  of  magnanimity 
in  giving  this  invitation,  to  us  it  seems  that  there  is  even  greater 
magnanimity  in  the  frank,  cordial  and  generous  way  in  which 
it  has  been  accepted.     [Applause.] 

Those  of  us  who  are  Democrats  wish  that  the  President  were 


68  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

a  Democrat.  [Applause.]  Not  only  would  great  honor  be 
reflected  upon  our  party,  but  what  would  we  not  hope  for  the 
future  of  the  country  if  the  principles  which  constitute  our 
political  faith  had  such  an  honest,  able,  fearless,  and  I  may  add 
successful  exponent.    [Applause.] 

Our  Republican  friends,  whom  we  delight  to  have  with  us 
on  this  memorable  occasion,  justly  exult  that  they  have  a  right 
to  take  a  peculiar  pride  in  having  given  to  the  country  such  a 
chief  executive.  Americans  all,  putting  country  above  party, 
we  rejoice  that  we  have  a  President  whose  ability  and  character 
command  the  respect  and  confidence  not  only  of  our  own  people 
but  of  the  civilized  world.  [Applause.]  There  are  two  per- 
nicious vices  which,  unfortunately,  too  often  characterize  politi- 
cal parties:  the  insensibility  to  merit  in  opponents  on  the  one 
hand,  and  envy  on  the  other. 

Though  living  virtue  we  despise. 
When  dead  we  praise  it  to  the  skies. 

It  was  to  give  public  expression  to  this  esteem  in  which 
our  President  is  held  and  the  appreciation  of  its  significance, 
not  only  at  home,  but  abroad,  that  this  occasion  was  inaugurated 
by  those  who,  in  sustaining  the  great  political  party  whose 
principles  they  have  espoused  as  in  their  judgment  best  adapted 
for  securing  the  permanent  welfare  of  the  country,  so  recently 
and  ardently  opposed  him.  It  would  be  erroneous  to  suppose 
that,  in  considering  the  propriety  of  bringing  about  this  event, 
any  weight  was  given  to  his  declaration  that  he  would  not  be  a 
candidate  for  re-election,  and  that  consequently  in  tendering 
such  a  tribute  there  would  be  no  risk  of  an  estoppel  when  the 
great  conflict  for  party  supremacy  shall  again  be  waged  in  1908. 

On  the  contrary,  it  could  not  be  ignored  that  in  the  mighty 
workings  of  the  vast  problems  of  our  national  life,  which,  in 
times  of  peace  to  our  country,  were  never  so  complicated  and 
portentous  as  now,  exigencies  may  arise  which  will  so  arouse 
the  conclamatory  and  potential  voices  of  a  vast  number  of  our 
people  as  to  overwhelm  the  protest  and  bend  the  will  of  one 
man  whose  controlling  passion  is  patriotism-      [Applause.]     I 


THE  IROQUOIS  CLUB  69 

wish  to  say  for  the  Iroquois  Club,  if  such  an  event  shall  come, 
while  sustaining  our  own  party,  and  opposing  political  and 
economic  principles  with  all  of  our  power  to  conflicting  political 
and  economic  principles,  we  shall  never  regret  this  public  testi- 
monial to  those  high  qualities  of  mind,  heart  and  character 
which  render  our  country  so  illustrious  in  the  eyes  of  mankind 
and  give  us  such  just  cause  for  national  pride.     [Applause.] 

No  other  people  have  continuously,  through  so  long  a  period 
of  time,  been  blessed  with  chief  rulers  so  free  from  blame  in 
public  and  private  life  as  we  in  America  have  been;  and  for 
my  part  I  would  that  a  perpetual  estoppel  might  be  established 
against  assailing,  for  mere  election  purposes,  candidates  upon 
unsubstantial  grounds. 

Tacitus  ascribed  to  a  Roman  emperor  who,  at  that  time,  had 
the  firmness  of  mind  to  despise  the  adulation  that  would  erect 
a  temple  and  a  statue  to  be  worshipped  in  his  honor,  these  words : 

"Raised  to  a  painful  preeminence,  if  I  sustain  the  arduous 
character  imposed  upon  me,  the  measure  of  my  happiness  is 
full.  These  are  my  sentiments;  I  avow  them  in  your  presence, 
and  I  hope  they  will  reach  posterity.  Should  future  ages  pro- 
nounce me  not  unworthy  of  my  ancestors,  should  they  think 
me  vigilant  for  the  public  good,  in  danger  firm,  and  for  the 
interest  of  all  ready  to  encounter  personal  animosities,  that 
character  will  be  the  bright  reward  of  all  my  labors.  [Applause.] 
These  are  the  temples  which  I  would  erect.  They  are  the  truest 
temples,  for  they  are  fixed  in  the  heart.  It  is  there  I  would 
be  worshipped,  in  the  esteem  and  the  affections  of  men,  that  best 
and  most  lasting  monument.  Piles  of  stone  and  marble  struc- 
tures, when  the  idol  ceases  to  be  adored  and  the  judgment  of 
posterity  rises  to  execration,  are  but  charnel  houses  that  moulder 
into  ruin.  I  therefore  now  address  myself  to  the  citizens  of 
Rome,  and  to  the  immortal  gods.  To  the  gods  it  is  my  prayer 
that  to  the  end  of  life  they  may  grant  the  blessings  of  an 
undisturbed,  a  clear,  a  collected  mind,  with  a  just  sense  of 
laws,  both  human  and  divine.  Of  mankind  I  request  that,  when 
I  am  no  more,  they  will  do  justice  to  my  memory,  and  with  kind 
acknowledgments  record  my  name  and  the  actions  of  my  life." 


70  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

Mr.  President,  this  seems  to  be  a  just  delineation  of  the 
ambitions  and  aspirations  which  you  cherish.  We  rejoice  that 
we  are  partakers  in  that  luster  which  they  shed  upon  our  country 
and,  mindful  of  those  who  are  to  come  after  us  and  the  heritage 
which  they  will  have  in  all  that  may  constitute  the  shame  or 
renown  of  this  Republic,  we  are  confident  that  the  historian  can 
with  truth  record  that  these  sentiments  were  persisted  in  by 
you  to  the  end.     [Applause.] 


"OUR  GUEST." 

Theodore  Roosevelt. 
Remarks  of  James  Hamilton  Lewis,  Toastmaster. 

At  the  dinner  of  the  Iroquois  Club,  whose  proceedings  were  given 
In  the  preface  to  Mr.  Dickinson's  speech,  President  Roosevelt  re- 
sponded to  the  toast,  "Our  Guest."  Mr.  Lewis  introduced  him  thus: 
When  James  Russell  Lowell  was  Minister  to  England,  he  met  the 
famous  French  historian,  Guizot.  The  distinguished  savant  said 
to  the  Minister:  "Mr.  Lowell,  how  long  do  you  feel  that  the  institu- 
tions of  your  Republic  will  survive  as  they  are  at  present  devised?" 
To  which  Mr.  Lowell  responded:  "Just  as  long,  sir,  as  the  sons  shall 
be  true  to  the  ideals  of  the  fathers." 

What  is  a  more  perfect  ideal  of  our  fathers  than  that  ideal  public 
servant  in  exalted  station?  Mr.  President,  I  do  not  present  you  to  the 
Iroquois  Club.  I  present  them  to  you.  They  are  Democrats.  Their 
Democracy  is  as  your  Republicanism.  First  to  their  flag  ever  loyal; 
to  their  country  ever  devoted,  faithful  to  their  fellowmen  and  true 
to  themselves.     [Applause.] 

Gentlemen  of  the  banquet  board,  is  it  to  be  marveled  that  such  as 
these  sought  the  counsel,  as  to-night  they  delight  in  the  companionship 
of  a  President  of  the  whole  people  of  the  United  States?  One  whose 
sentiment  of  public  conduct  is — not  partyism,  but  patriotism;  [ap- 
plause] whose  theme,  in  his  commingling  with  mankind,  is  that  of 
the  Latin  poet,  Terence,  saying — 

"I  am  a  man,  and  all  things  human  touch  me." 

A  man  whose  impartial  Americanism  is  as  broad  as  the  limits  of 
the  Union  which  it  blesses,  the  purity  of  whose  intentions  is  as  lofty 
as  were  the  Crusaders'  in  the  quest  of  the  Cross;  whose  valor  as  a 
soldier,  whose  justice  as  a  ruler,  has  inspired  affection  in  the  hearts 
of  the  humblest,  while  it  has  commanded  the  salute  of  respect  from 
the  powerful  of  earth — truly,  one  in  whom 

The  elements  are  so  mixed  that  Nature  might  stand  up 
And  say  to  all  the  world,  "This  is  a  man!" 

Gentlemen,  our  guest — ^the  President  of  the  United  States,  Hon- 
orable Theodore  Roosevelt.  [Loud  and  prolonged  cheering  and  ap- 
plause.] 

71 


72  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

Mr.  President,  Mr.  Toastmaster,  and  you,  my  hosts:  I  very 
deeply  appreciate  the  honor  of  being  your  guest  and  guest  of 
the  city  of  Chicago  this  evening;  and,  Judge  Dickinson,  lest 
others  may  not  share  your  robust  equanimity  [laughter]  in 
looking  at  the  possibilities  of  the  future,  let  me  add  that  I 
have  not  the  least  anticipation  of  Chicago's  ever  reversing  that 
most  complimentary  vote  which  I  so  deeply  appreciated  last 
year,  because  it  will  never  have  the  chance.  [Laughter  and 
applause.]  And  now,  Judge  Dickinson,  while  I  disagreed  with 
you  as  to  the  special  application  of  the  doctrine,  let  me  say, 
as  a  decent  American,  that  Judge  Dickinson  set  forth  the  doc- 
trine to  which  every  decent  American  should  subscribe  in  what 
he  said.     [Applause.] 

Our  country  is  governed,  and  under  existing  circumstances 
can  only  be  governed  under  the  party  system,  and  that  should 
mean  and  that  will  mean  when  we  have  a  sufficient  number 
of  people  who  will  take  the  point  of  view  that  Judge  Dickinson 
takes — ^that  will  mean  that  there  will  be  a  frank  and  manly 
opposition  of  party  to  party;  of  party  man  to  party  man; 
combined  with  an  equally  frank  refusal  to  conduct  a  party 
contest  in  any  such  way  as  to  give  good  Americans  cause  for 
regret  because  of  what  is  said  before  election  when  compared 
with  what  is  said  after  election.  [Applause.]  The  frankest 
opposition  to  a  given  man  or  a  given  party  on  questions  of 
public  policy  not  only  can  be,  but  almost  always  should  be, 
combined  with  the  frankest  recognition  of  the  infinitely  greater 
number  of  points  of  agreement  than  of  the  points  of  difference. 
And  I  have  accepted  your  kind  and  generous  invitation  to 
come  before  you  this  evening,  because  the  longer  I  am  in  political 
life  the  more  firmly  I  am  convinced  that  the  great  bulk  of  the 
questions  of  most  importance  before  us  as  a  people  are  questions 
which  we  can  best  decide,  not  from  the  standpoint  of  Repub- 
licanism or  Democracy,  but  from  the  standpoint  of  the  interests 
of  the  average  American  citizen,  whether  Republican  or  Demo- 
crat.    [Loud  applause.] 

There  are  foreign  questions  and  there  are  domestic  ques- 
tions.    Our  politics  should,  and  in  the  great  majority  do;  our 


"OUR  GUEST"  73 

political  lines  of  difference  should,  and  in  the  majority  of  cases 
do,  disappear  at  the  water's  edge,  and  when  I  had  to  choose  a  man 
to  represent  to  a  peculiar  degree  the  interests  of  this  govern- 
ment in  one  of  the  most  important  foreign  negotiations  of  recent 
years,  that  concerning  the  Alaska  boundary,  I  chose  the  best 
lawyer,  one  of  the  ablest  public  men,  and  one  of  the  most  fair- 
minded  patriots  that  could  be  found  in  the  country;  and  the 
fact  that  he  was  of  opposite  political  faith  did  not  interfere 
with  Judge  Dickinson  doing  that  work  well.  [Applause.]  That 
was  a  question  that  concerned  the  United  States,  all  of  the 
United  States.  Most  questions  that  come  up  in  Washington, 
as  I  think,  Colonel  Lewis,  you  will  agree  with  me,  are  questions 
that  go  much  deeper  than  party;  are  questions  that  affect  the 
whole  country,  and  the  man  would  indeed  be  unfit  for  the 
position  of  President  who  did  not  feel  that  when  he  held  that 
office  he  held  it  in  the  most  emphatic  sense  as  the  representative 
of  all  the  people.     [Applause.] 

So,  take  something  I  have  spoken  of;  having  drawn  an 
Illinois  citizen,  at  least  one  by  adoption,  for  one  bit  of  work, 
let  me  speak  of  something  that  has  happened  more  recently. 
One  of  the  works  Uncle  Sam  has  on  hand  just  at  present  is 
digging  the  Panama  Canal — and  it  is  going  to  be  dug.  [Cheer- 
ing and  cries  of  "Good,"  "Good."]  It  is  going  to  be  dug 
honestly  and  as  cheaply  as  is  compatible  with  efficiency — but 
with  the  efficiency  first.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  I  wanted 
Congress  to  give  me  power  to  remodel  the  commission.  It  did 
not  do  it.  I  remodeled  it  anyhow,  [laughter  and  applause] 
purely  in  the  exercise  of  my  executive  functions;  [laughter] 
and  I  made  up  my  mind  this  time  that  I  was  not  going  to 
make  the  slightest  effort  to  represent  different  sections  of  the 
country  on  that  canal.  I  was  going  to  try  to  have  the  whole 
country  represented,  and  put  the  best  man  I  could  get  in  any 
given  position  without  the  slightest  regard  as  to  where  he 
came  from.  And,  while  it  was  an  accident,  still  I  may  mention 
it  as  a  fortunate  accident  that  the  two  most  important  positions 
were  filled  from  Illinois — [laughter  and  applause] — Shontz  and 
Wallace  from  Illinois. 


74  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

Now,  gentlemen,  those  are  external  questions,  as  regards 
which  the  interests  of  the  whole  country  and  not  the  interests 
of  any  party  or  any  section  of  the  country  must  be  considered, 
and  humbly  considered  by  the  President.  It  is  just  as  true  of 
certain  of  our  great  internal  policies.  Some  of  those  present 
will  differ  from  part  of  what  I  am  about  to  say.  I  believe, 
however,  that  sooner  or  later  it  will  be  found  that  the  great 
bulk  of  our  people  agree  with  what  I  am  about  to  say. 

Among  the  most  vital  questions  that  have  come  up  for  solu- 
tion because  of  the  extraordinary  industrial  development  of 
this  country,  as  of  all  the  modern  world,  are  the  questions  of 
capital  and  labor,  and  the  questions  resulting  from  the  effect 
upon  the  public  of  the  organization  into  great  masses  of  both 
capital  and  labor.  I  believe  thoroughly  in  each  kind  of  organ- 
ization, but  I  recognize  that  if  either  kind  of  organization  does 
what  is  wrong,  the  increase  in  its  power  for  efficiency  that  has 
resulted  from  the  combination  means  the  increase  in  its  power  to 
do  harm;  and  that,  therefore,  corporations — that  is,  organized 
capital — and  unions — that  is,  organized  labor,  must  alike  be  held 
to  a  peculiar  responsibility  to  the  public  at  large,  and  that  from 
each  alike  we  have  the  right  to  demand  not  only  obedience  to 
the  law,  but  service  to  the  public.     [Applause.] 

Now,  observe,  there  are  two  sides  to  what  I  have  said,  and 
we  are  very  apt  to  hear  only  insistence  upon  one  side ;  sometimes 
the  insistence  upon  this  side,  sometimes  the  insistence  on  that, 
but  not  as  often  as  we  should,  insistence  upon  both  sides  of  the 
question. 

I  wiU  take  up  first  the  question  of  organized  capital.  When 
this  nation  was  created  such  a  thing  as  a  modern  corporation 
not  only  did  not  exist,  but  could  not  be  imagined.  That  is 
especially  true  of  the  great  modern  corporations  engaged  in 
interstate  commerce.  A  century  ago  the  highways  of  commerce 
were  exactly  such  as  they  had  been  from  the  days  of  the  dawn 
of  civilization  on  the  banks  of  the  Nile  and  in  Mesopotamia. 
All  that  could  be  done  by  waterways  and  by  roads  for  wheeled 
vehicles  drawn  by  animal  power  had  been  developed  to  a  very 
marked  degree,  but  sails,  oars,  wheeled  vehicles  and  beasts  of 


"OUR  GUEST"  75 

burden  were,  as  they  had  been  for  many  thousands  of  years, 
the  only  means  of  commerce,  the  only  method  by  which  indi- 
viduals or  corporations  engaged  in  commerce  could  act.  Under 
such  circumstances  the  fathers  and  founders  of  this  Republic 
could  not  foresee,  and  therefore  doubly  could  not  provide  for 
the  conditions  of  the  present  day.  We  now  have  the  great 
highways  of  commerce  of  an  entirely  different  kind ;  the  water- 
ways, the  road  for  wheeled  vehicles,  have  sunk  into  absolute 
insignificance  compared  with  the  railway,  and  we  therefore  have, 
for  the  first  time  in  history,  a  highway — a  highway  for  the 
commerce  of  all  the  people,  under  the  control  of  a  private 
individual  or  a  private  corporation. 

Now,  gentlemen,  let  me  in  the  first  place  insist  upon  this 
fact,  that  we  should  keep  ever  before  us,  that  the  men  who 
have  built  up  the  great  railway  systems  of  this  country,  like 
the  other  men  who  have  built  up  the  great  industries  of  this 
country,  have,  as  a  rule — there  are  exceptions,  but  as  a  rule — 
made  their  fortunes  as  incidents  to  benefiting  and  not  to  harming 
the  country.  As  a  rule  benefit  and  not  harm  has  come  from  their 
efforts,  and  in  making  fortunes  for  themselves  they  have  done 
good  to  all  of  us.  We  have  all  benefited  by  the  talents  of  the 
great  captains  of  industry.  I  am  speaking,  as  I  say,  as  a  rule, 
with  full  knowledge  of  the  exceptions  to  what  I  say ;  but  disre- 
garding those  exceptions  in  making  a  general  statement. 

We  cannot  afford  to  do  damage  to  those  men  or  to  those 
corporations,  in  the  first  place,  because  we  cannot  afford  to  do 
injustice  to  any  man,  rich  or  poor.  In  the  next  place,  because 
to  do  such  damage  to  them  would  mean  widespread  damage 
among  the  wageworkers  and  among  the  general  public. 

All  of  this  I  have  said  I  wish  kept  in  mind  steadily  in 
appreciating  what  I  am  going  to  say ;  for,  while  acknowledging 
in  the  frankest  manner  the  benefits  that  have  come  from  the 
development  of  these  great  inaustrial  enterprises,  I  also  feel 
that  we  must  recognize  that  the  time  has  now  come  when  it  is 
essential,  in  the  interests  of  the  public,  that  there  should  be, 
and  be  exercised,  a  power  of  supervision  and  regulation  over 
them  in  the  interests  of  the  public.     [Applause.] 


76  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

The  state  can  properly  deal  with  the  corporation  doing 
business  within  its  own  limits.  The  state  cannot  deal  at  all 
with  the  corporations  doing  business  in  many  different  states, 
and  it  is  an  absurdity  at  once  ludicrous  and  harmful  to  leave 
it  in  the  power  of  one  state  to  create  a  corporation  of  gigantic 
size  which  shall  do  all  its  work  in  a  number  of  other  states, 
and,  perhaps,  with  the  scantiest  regard  to  the  laws  of  those 
states  in  which  it  actually  does  work.     [Applause.] 

Personally,  I  believe  that  the  Federal  Government  must 
take  an  increasing  control  over  corporations.  It  is  better  that 
that  control  should  increase  or  decrease  than  that  it  should  be 
assumed  all  at  once;  but  there  should  be,  and  I  trust  there 
will  be,  no  halt  in  the  steady  process  of  assuming  such  national 
control,  and  the  first  step  toward  it  should  be  the  adoption 
of  a  law  conferring  upon  some  executive  body  the  power  of 
increased  supervision  and  regulation  of  the  great  corporations 
engaged  primarily  in  interstate  commerce  of  the  railroads.  And 
my  views  on  that  subject  could  not  have  been  better  expressed 
than  they  were  expressed  yesterday,  I  think,  by  Secretary  Taft, 
in  Washington,  as  they  were  expressed  by  the  Attorney  General 
in  his  communication  to  the  Senate  Committee  a  couple  of 
weeks  ago. 

I  believe  that  the  representatives  of  the  nation,  that  is, 
the  representatives  of  all  the  people,  should  lodge  in  some 
executive  body  the  power  to  establish  a  maximum  rate,  the 
power  to  have  that  rate  go  into  effect  practically  immediately, 
and  the  power  to  see  that  the  provisions  of  the  law  apply  in 
full  to  the  companies  owning  private  cars  just  as  much  as  to 
the  railroads  themselves.  [Applause.]  The  courts  will  retain, 
and  would  retain,  no  matter  what  the  legislature  did,  the  power 
to  interfere  and  upset  any  action  that  was  confiscatory  in  its 
nature.  I  am  well  aware  that  the  action  of  such  a  body  as  I 
have  spoken  of  may  stop  far  short  of  confiscation  and  yet  do 
great  damage.  In  other  words,  I  am  well  aware  that  to  give 
this  power  means  the  possibility  that  the  power  may  be  abused. 
That  possibility  we  must  face.  Any  power  strong  enough,  any 
power  which  could  be  granted  sufficiently  great  to  be  efficient. 


**OUR  GUEST"  Ti 

would  be  sufficiently  great  to  be  harmful  if  abused.  That  is 
true  of  the  power  of  taxation.  It  is  perfectly  possible  for  the 
body  which  has  the  power  of  taxation  entrusted  to  it  to  use 
it  viciously  and  harmfully  against  certain  interests  or  certain 
classes.  Nevertheless  the  power  must  exist;  the  power  must 
be  lodged  in  the  representatives  of  the  people;  and  so  with 
the  power  of  which  I  speak — it  must  exist.  It  must  be  lodged 
in  some  body  which  is  to  give  expression  to  the  needs  of  the 
people  as  a  whole,  and  the  fact  that  it  is  possible  that  the  power 
may  be  abused  is  not  and  cannot  be  an  argument  against  placing 
it  where  we  shall  have  a  right  to  expect  that  it  will  be  used 
fairly  toward  all.  [Applause.]  One  thing  I  wish  definitely 
understood:  If  the  power  is  granted  to  me  to  create  such  a 
board,  such  a  commission,  or  to  continue  in  power,  if  I  so 
desire,  a  commission  or  board,  with  increased  powers,  I  shall 
strive  to  appoint  and  retain  men  who  will  do  exactly  the  same 
justice  to  the  railroad  as  they  will  exact  from  the  railroad. 
[Applause.]  False  hopes  are  always  raised  by  any  measure 
of  reform,  because  there  are  always  people  who  expect  the  im- 
possible, and  if  the  measure  which- 1  advocate  is  enacted  into 
law  a  good  many  people  will  expect  that  it  will  bring  the 
millennium  considerably  nearer  than  it  will ;  and  the  men  whom 
I  appoint  to  execute  that  law  will  be,  so  far  as  my  ability  to 
choose  them  exists,  men  who  will  no  more  be  frightened  by 
an  even  well-meant  popular  clamor  into  doing  any  act  of  injus- 
tice to  any  great  corporation  than  they  will  be  frightened,  on 
the  other  hand,  into  refraining  from  doing  an  act  of  justice 
because  it  is  against  the  interests  of  some  great  corporation. 
[Applause.]  In  other  words,  I  shall  strive  to  see  that  that 
branch  of  the  government,  with  its  increased  powers,  is  admin- 
istered as  every  branch  of  the  government  ought  to  be  admin- 
istered, in  a  spirit  of  striving  to  do  exact  justice,  justice 
to  the  man  of  great  means  just  as  much  as  and  no  more  than 
to  the  man  of  small  means.     [Applause.] 

Now  for  the  other  side  of  the  question.  There  have  been 
a  great  many  republics  before  our  time,  and  again  and  again 
those  republics  have  split  upon  the  rock  of  disaster — ^the  greatest 


78  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

and  most  dangerous  rock  in  the  course  of  any  republic,  the 
rock  of  class  hatred.  Sometimes  the  republic  became  a  republic 
in  which  one  class  grew  to  dominate  over  another  class,  and 
for  loyalty  to  the  republic  was  substituted  loyalty  to  a  class. 
The  result  was  in  every  case  the  same.  It  meant  disaster,  and 
ultimately  the  downfall  of  the  republic,  and  it  mattered  not 
one  whit  which  class  it  was  that  became  dominant;  it  mattered 
not  one  whit  whether  the  poor  plundered  the  rich  or  the  rich 
exploited  the  poor.  In  either  case,  just  as  soon  as  the  republic 
became  one  in  which  one  class  sought  to  benefit  itself  by  injuring 
another  class,  in  which  one  class  substituted  loyalty  to  that 
class  for  loyalty  to  the  republic,  the  end  of  the  republic  was 
at  hand. 

No  true  patriot  will  fail  to  do  everything  in  his  power  to 
prevent  the  growth  of  any  such  spirit  in  this  country.  [Applause.  ] 
This  government  is  not  and  never  shall  be  the  government  of  a 
plutocracy.  This  government  is  not  and  never  shall  be  the  govern- 
ment of  a  mob.  [Great  applause.]  I  believe  in  corporations. 
They  are  indispensable  instruments  of  our  modern  industrialism, 
but  I  believe  that  they  should  be  so  supervised  and  regulated 
that  they  should  act  for  the  interest  of  the  community  as  a  whole. 
So,  I  believe  in  unions.  I  am  proud  of  the  fact  that  I  am  an 
honorary  member  of  one  union,  but  I  believe  that  the  union, 
like  the  individual,  must  be  kept  to  a  strict  accountability  to 
the  power  of  the  law.  [Applause  and  cheers.  Cries  of  **Grood," 
Good."] 

Mayor  Dunne,  as  President  of  the  United  States,  and,  there- 
fore, as  the  representative  of  the  people  of  this  country,  I  give 
you,  as  a  matter  of  course,  my  hearty  support  in  upholding 
the  law,  in  keeping  order,  in  putting  down  violence,  whether 
by  a  mob  or  by  an  individual.  [Cheers,  with  many  standing 
waving  handkerchiefs  and  napkins.]  And  there  need  not  be 
the  slightest  apprehension  in  the  hearts  of  the  most  timid  that 
ever  the  mob  spirit  will  triumph  in  this  country.  [Cheers.] 
Those  immediately  responsible  for  dealing  with  the  trouble  must, 
as  I  know  you  feel,  exhaust  every  effort  in  so  dealing  with  it 
before  call  is  made  upon  any  outside  body.     [Applause.]    But 


"OUR  GUEST"  79 

if  ever  the  need  arises,  back  of  the  city  stands  the  state,  and 
back  of  the  state  stands  the  nation.     [Cheers.] 

And  there,  gentlemen,  is  a  point  upon  which  all  good 
Americans  are  one.  They  are  all  one  in  the  conviction,  in  the 
firm  determination  that  this  country  shall  remain  in  the  future, 
as  it  has  been  in  the  past,  a  country  of  liberty  and  justice  under 
the  forms  of  law.  [Applause.]  A  country  in  which  the  rule 
of  the  people  is  supreme,  but  in  which  that  will  finds  its 
expression  through  the  forces  of  law  and  order,  through  the 
forms  of  law  expressed  as  provided  for  in  the  Constitution  of 
the  United  States  and  of  the  several  states  that  go  to  make  up 
our  nation.     [Applause  and  three  cheers  for  the  President.] 


GEORGE  WASHINGTON. 

Henby  van  Dyke. 

At  the  annual  banquet  of  the  Society  of  Sons  of  the  Revolution  in 
the  State  of  New  York,  held  at  Delmonlco's,  February  twenty-second, 
1910,  the  Rev.  Henry  van  Dyke,  lately  selected  by  President  Wilson  as 
representative  of  the  United  States  to  Holland,  responded  to  the  toast, 
"Greorge  Washington." 

Mr,  President,  and  brethren  of  the  Sons  of  the  Revolution: 
We  are  met  here  to-night  to  honor  the  memory  of  Washington, 
not  because  he  was  the  first  American,  for  his  father  and  mother 
were  before  him;  not  because  he  was  the  only  great  American, 
because  this  land  has  not  been  unfruitful  in  noble  manhood; 
but  because  George  Washington  was  the  first  American  whose 
greatness  was  acknowledged  by  all  the  world. 

There  has  been  an  impression  abroad  that  Washington  was 
the  only  great  man  that  America  has  produced.  I  came  across 
a  curious  illustration  of  that  the  other  day  in  one  of  Byron's 
poems,  his  ode  to  Napoleon  Bonaparte,  written  in  1814,  "The 
Days  of  Elba. ' '  He  says,  asking  where  we  shall  look  for  unselfish 
greatness  : 

Yes — one — the  first — the  last — the  best. 

The  Cincinnatus  of  the  West,  ; 

Whom  envy  dared  not  hate, 

BeQueathed  the  name  of  Washington, 

To  make  man  blush  there  was  but  one. 

That  is  a  fine  sentiment  and  a  fine  tribute,  but  we  cannot 
join  in  it,  because  the  glory  of  Washington,  to  my  mind,  lies  in 
the  fact  that  his  greatest  achievement  was  in  leaving  a  standard 
of  manhood  to  this  country  to  which  Americans  have  always 
looked  up,  and  toward  which  they  have  worked  and  striven — 
the  greatest  of  them. 

We  are  inclined  to  believe  nowadays  that  Washington  be- 
longed to  an  extinct  type,  which  is  not  true ;  we  are  inclined  to 

80 


GEORGE  WASHINGTON  81 

accept  the  statement  nowadays  that  the  American  character 
has  changed,  and  that  America  is  now  composed  of  a  melange 
of  foreign  emigrants  who  have  come  in  here  and  who  have 
absolutely  taken  possession  of  the  Republic.  That  is  not  true. 
Do  you  know,  gentlemen,  that  we  have  never  had  a  President 
of  these  United  States,  except  one,  whose  ancestors  did  not 
come  to  this  country  before  the  Revolution?  It  was  James 
Buchanan,  the  only  man  who  sat  in  the  Presidential  chair  in 
the  United  States  whose  ancestors  did  not  come  to  this  country 
before  the  Revolution,  and  his  father  came  in  1783,  and  he 
was  a  Scotch-Irishman  and,  of  course,  he  was  an  American 
before  he  came. 

This  year  our  attention  has  been  fixed  by  orators  upon  the 
great  change  that  has  taken  place  in  American  ideals  and  char- 
acters, as  illustrated  by  the  contrast  between  "Washington  and 
Lincoln.  The  change  from  the  stately  pillared  mansion  of 
Mount  Vernon  to  the  Kentucky  log  cabin;  the  change  from  the 
silver  buckles  and  silk  stockings  to  the  cowhide  boots  of  the 
rail  splitter;  the  change  from  the  great  landed  proprietor  to 
the  country  lawyer— quite  a  striking  change,  externally.  There 
are  some  who  regret  it,  but  their  regret  reminds  me  of  what 
one  Irishman  said  to  another  after  they  had  heard  Bryan's 
speech  in  Madison  Square  Garden  after  his  return  from  Europe. 
Patrick  said,  **Ah,  Bryan  is  not  the  man  that  he  used  to  be," 
and  Michael  said,  *'No,  and  he  never  was,  either." 

And  there  are  some  who  rejoice  in  this  professed  change  and 
congratulate  themselves  upon  it.  Their  gratulation  reminds 
me  of  what  a  New  England  farmer  said,  who  borrowed  from 
Emerson  a  copy  of  his  Plato,  and  when  the  farmer  brought  it 
back  again,  he  said:  **I  kind  of  like  that  Greek  fellow;  he 
has  got  some  of  my  ideas." 

But  neither  the  regret  nor  the  gratulation  was  justified,  for 
reaUy  the  change  from  Washington  to  Lincoln  is  not  a  change, 
only  on  the  surface,  and  not  in  essentials.  There  is  a  continuity 
between  the  two  men  that  if  they  could  have  seen  each  other 
would  have  made  them  stand  together  in  whatever  crises  their 
lives  had  fallen. 


82  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

So  Washington  was  not  the  last  American,  nor  was  Lincoln 
the  first  American,  though  Lowell  said  so.  Franklin  was  an 
American,  and  Alexander  Hamilton  was  an  American,  and 
Philip  Schuyler  was  an  American,  and  John  Jay  was  an  Ameri- 
can. And  every  one  of  these  men  who  had  spirit  enough  to 
take  his  heritage  from  England  or  Scotland  or  France  or  Ireland 
and  lay  it  on  the  shrine  of  liberty  and  equal  rights  was  an 
American. 

Washington  and  Lincoln  were  rooted  in  the  same  soil  of 
fundamental  justice ;  they  expanded  their  manhood  in  the  same 
hour  of  liberty.  They  were  like  the  stately  silver  pine  and  the 
gnarled  black  oak,  growing  on  the  same  hillside,  and  throwing 
abroad  their  branches  for  the  shelter  of  mankind. 

I  am  struck,  not  by  the  difference  in  their  dress,  but  by  the 
resemblance  in  their  hearts.  They  lived  by  and  for  the  same 
aims;  they  hitched  their  wagons  to  the  same  star. 

It  was  Washington  who  saw  most  clearly  the  necessity  of 
union,  and  he  did  most  to  make  it  possible  and  durable;  and 
it  was  Lincoln  who  met  the  dangers  which  Washington  had 
predicted  for  that  union  and  saved  it  from  disaster  and  ship- 
wreck. 

It  was  Washington  who  first  gave  to  America  the  lesson  of 
toleration  and  forgiveness,  by  his  treatment  of  those  who  had 
calumnied  and  conspired  against  him  in  the  Revolution,  **  for- 
giving all,"  he  said,  **for  the  sake  of  the  common  cause."  And 
it  was  Lincoln  who  wrote  the  words  of  peace  and  reconciliation 
upon  the  firmament,  when  the  lurid  clouds  of  Civil  War  had 
rolled  by,  so  that  Jefferson  Davis  said  of  him,  "Since  the  fall 
of  the  Confederacy,  the  South  has  suffered  no  loss  so  great 
as  the  death  of  Abraham  Lincoln." 

It  was  Washington  who  saw  the  inconsistency  and  the  shame 
and  the  peril  of  slavery,  and  it  was  Lincoln  who  ended  it. 

Washington  was  a  soldier  who  fought  for  the  supremacy 
of  just  and  peaceful  law.  And  Lincoln  was  the  lawyer  who 
invoked  the  sword  to  defend  a  supreme  equity.  Both  were  too 
great  for  personal  jealousy,  were  too  noble  for  personal  revenge ; 


GEORGE  WASHINGTON  83 

too  great  for  personal  affectation,  whether  it  be  reputation  or 
self-sacrifice;  too  sincere  for  personal  concealment.  Neither  of 
them  had  any  secrets  from  his  country.  They  served  her  as 
a  whole  with  a  clean  and  glad  heart,  and  they  asked  no  greater 
reward  than  simply  to  serve  America. 

You  know  very  well  that  neither  of  these  men  was  what 
is  called  in  ordinary  terms  a  great  orator;  and  yet  both  of 
them  were  magnificently  eloquent.  "Washington  used  long  words, 
Lincoln  used  short  words ;  and  yet  both  of  them  used  words  for 
the  same  purpose,  namely,  to  speak  to  the  hearts  of  Americans 
— and  they  did. 

And  throughout  the  speeches  of  both  there  run  these  three 
things ;  never  a  speech  made  by  one  of  these  men  that  does  not 
have  these  three  elements  in  it.  First,  a  recognition  of  the 
nation's  dependence  upon  the  Almighty  God;  second,  a  strong 
emphasis  upon  the  necessity  of  union  and  the  sacrifice  of  fac- 
tional differences  and  sectional  disputes;  and,  third,  a  strong 
insistence  upon  moral  ideas,  not  commercial  ideas,  and  moral 
ideas  as  a  foundation  of  the  nation's  greatness. 

These  are  the  three  elements  you  will  find  in  every  speech 
made  by  either  one  of  these  two  men.  They  were  not  skeptics, 
they  were  not  cynics;  they  were  believers.  They  were  enthu- 
siasts; they  were  not  plaster  of  paris  saints,  thank  God. 

Washington  had  the  power  of  indignation  which  at  times 
led  him  to  express  himself  in  language  which  was  not  fit  to 
print.  Lincoln  had  a  sense  of  humor  which  made  him  occasion- 
ally tell  stories  whose  latitude  was  greater  than  their  longitude. 
And  for  both  of  them — for  Washington's,  you  may  say,  dec- 
orative and  explosive  English,  and  for  Lincoln's  exuberant  and 
sometimes  eccentric  humor — ^we  may  find  in  both  of  these  things 
the  effort  of  a  profoundly  serious  man  to  relieve  himself  at  the 
moment  of  a  burden  which  weighed  upon  him  too  heavily  to 
be  borne.  And  that  is  the  truth;  that  is  the  simple  truth. 
At  heart  they  were  both  profoundly  serious  men;  they  were 
not  triflers,  they  were  not  jesters;  they  were  men  in  earnest. 

"When  I  die,"  said  Abraham  Lincoln,  and  he  never  said 


84  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

anything  more  beautiful,  **I  want  it  said  of  me  by  those  who 
knew  me  best  that  I  always  plucked  a  thistle  and  planted  a 
flower  where  I  thought  a  flower  would  grow," 

"If  I  know  my  own  heart,"  wrote  Washington  from  Valley 
Forge — this  cold,  dignified  English  squire  that  some  of  the 
historians  have  presented  to  us — *  *  if  I  know  my  own  heart,  * '  said 
Washington,  *  *  I  could  offer  myself  a  living  sacrifice  to  the  butcher- 
ing enemy,  provided  that  would  contribute  to  the  people  *s  aid  and 
peace."  And  I  leave  it  to  you,  gentlemen,  to  say  whether  the 
keynote  of  both  these  sayings  is  not  precisely  the  same.  The 
love,  the  love  of  humanity,  the  sentiment  of  brotherhood  that 
makes  a  man  willing  to  give  his  life  for  those  who  are  bound 
to  him. 

I  am  tired  of  the  talk  which  makes  of  Lincoln  a  rude, 
ungainly,  jumping-jack  jester ;  I  am  tired  of  the  talk  that  makes 
of  Washington  a  proud,  self-satisfied  British  squire.  One  of 
these  men  was  great  enough  to  refuse  a  crown,  and  the  other 
was  great  enough  to  accept  the  cross  for  his  country's  sake. 

Let  us  learn  to  recognize  in  both  of  them  the  representatives 
of  the  true  spirit  of  America.  Let  us  learn  to  understand  that 
Americanism  does  not  reside  in  dress,  or  in  manners  or  in 
accent.  Americanism  resides  in  the  heart;  it  is  devoted  to 
the  ideals  of  justice  and  liberty  and  truth  and  human  brother- 
hood, and  so  beneath  the  sunlight  which  has  fallen  for  these 
one  hundred  and  eleven  years  upon  America  from  the  celebra- 
tion of  Washington's  birthday,  we  profess  our  creed,  and  cele- 
brate our  heroic  chiefs — ^Washington,  who  lived  to  create  the 
union;  Lincoln,  who  died  to  save  it.  We  celebrate  a  republic 
which  belongs  neither  to  the  classes  nor  to  the  masses ;  a  republic 
which  has  room  for  the  selfish  aristocrats  as  well  as  for  the  noble 
democrats;  a  republic  which  speaks  of  self-reliance,  fair  play, 
common  order,  self-development;  and  a  country  which  belongs 
to  all,  from  Washington  to  Lincoln,  to  Cleveland,  to  Roosevelt, 
to  Taft. 


ABRAHAM  LINCOLN 

Benjamin  Harrison 

This  address  was  delivered  at  the  Lincoln  Day  Banquet  of  the 
Marquette  Club,  Chicago,  February  twelfth,  1898. 

Mr.  Chairman  and  Gentlemen:  A  few  weeks  ago,  when 
the  pressure  of  other  engagements  made  it  apparent  that  it 
would  be  impossible  for  me  to  make  any  preparation  suitable 
to  the  dignity  of  this  occasion,  I  withdrew  a  previous  acceptance 
of  the  invitation  of  the  club.  But  the  committee,  with  quite  an 
undue  sense  of  the  importance  of  my  presence,  arranged  to 
facilitate  my  coming  and  going,  and  promised  for  themselves, 
and  for  you,  so  far  as  they  were  able,  if  I  would  come,  to  be 
content  with  but  a  few  words  from  me  tonight. 

The  observance  of  the  birthday  of  Abraham  Lincoln,  which 
has  become  now  so  widely  established,  either  by  public  law  or 
by  general  custom,  will  more  and  more  force  the  orators  of  these 
occasions  to  depart  from  the  line  of  biography  and  incident  and 
eulogy  and  to  assume  the  duties  of  applying  to  pending  public 
questions  the  principles  illustrated  in  the  life  and  taught  in  the 
public  utterances  of  the  man  whose  birth  we  commemorate. 

And,  after  all,  we  may  be  sure  that  that  great,  simple-hearted 
patriot  would  have  wished  it  so.  Flattery  did  not  soothe  the 
living  ear  of  Lincoln.  He  was  not  unappreciative  of  friendship, 
not  without  ambition  to  be  esteemed,  but  the  overmastering  and 
dominant  thought  of  his  life  was  to  be  useful  to  his  country 
and  to  his  countrymen. 

On  his  way  to  take  up  the  already  stupendous  work  of  the 
presidency,  he  spent  a  night  at  Indianapolis.  The  arrival  of 
his  train  was  greeted  by  many  thousands  of  those  who  had 
supported  his  candidacy.  They  welcomed  him  with  huzzas,  as 
if  they  would  give  him  token  of  their  purpose  to  stand  by 
the  results  declared  at  the  polls.    Yet  it  seemed  to  me  hardly  to 

85 


86  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

be  a  glad  crowd,  and  he  not  to  be  a  glad  man.  There  was  no 
sense  of  culpability  either  in  their  hearts  or  in  his ;  no  faltering ; 
no  disposition  to  turn  back,  but  the  hour  was  shadowed  with 
forebodings. 

Men  did  not  shrink,  but  there  was  that  vague  sense  of  appre- 
hension, that  unlocated  expectancy  of  evil,  which  fills  the  air 
and  disturbs  the  beasts  of  the  field  when  the  unclouded  sun 
is  eclipsed.  When  the  column  is  once  started  in  the  charge 
there  are  cheers,  but  there  is  a  moment  when,  standing  at  atten- 
tion, silence  is  king. 

Before  us  stood  our  chosen  leader,  the  man  who  was  to  be 
our  pilot  through  seas  more  stormy  and  through  channels  more 
perilous  than  ever  the  old  ship  went  before.  He  had  piloted  the 
lumbering  flatboat  on  our  western  streams,  but  he  was  now  to 
take  the  helm  of  the  great  ship.  His  experience  in  public  office 
had  been  brief,  and  not  conspicuous.  He  had  no  general  ac- 
quaintance with  the  people  of  the  whole  country.  His  large, 
angular  frame  and  face,  his  broad  humor,  his  homely  illustra- 
tions and  simple  ways,  seemed  to  very  many  of  his  fellow- 
countrymen  to  portray  a  man  and  a  mind  which,  while  acute 
and  powerful,  had  not  that  nice  balance  and  touch  of  statecraft 
that  the  perilous  way  before  us  demanded.  No  college  of  arts 
had  opened  to  his  struggling  youth ;  he  had  been  born  in  a  cabin 
and  reared  among  the  unlettered.  He  was  a  rail-splitter,  a 
flatboatman,  a  country  lawyer. 

Yet  in  all  these  conditions  and  associations  he  was  a  leader 
— at  the  rail-splitting,  in  the  rapids,  at  the  bar,  in  story  telling. 
He  had  a  comparatively  small  body  of  admiring  and  attached 
friends.  He  had  revealed  himself  in  his  debate  with  Douglas 
and  in  his  New  York  speech  as  a  man  familiar  with  American 
politics  and  a  profound  student  of  our  institutions,  but  above 
all  as  a  man  of  conscience — most  kind  in  speech,  and  most 
placid  in  demeanor,  yet  disturbing  the  public  peace  by  his 
insistence  that  those  theories  of  human  rights  which  we  had  aU 
so  much  applauded  should  be  made  practical. 

In  the  broad  common-sense  way  in  which  he  did  small  things 
he  was  larger  than  any  situation  in  which  life  had  placed  him. 


ABRAHAM  LINCOLN  87 

Europe  did  not  know  him.  To  the  South  and  to  many  in 
the  Northern  states  he  was  an  uncouth  jester,  an  ambitious 
upstart,  a  reckless  disturber.  He  was  hated  by  the  South,  not 
only  for  his  principles,  but  for  himself.  The  son  of  the  cavalier, 
the  man  who  felt  toil  to  be  a  stain,  despised  this  son  of  the 
people,  this  child  of  toil.  He  was  going  to  Washington  to 
meet  misgivings  in  his  own  party,  and  to  confront  the  fiercest, 
most  implacable  and  powerful  rebellion  of  which  history  gives 
us  record.  Personal  dangers  attended  his  journey.  The  course 
before  him  was  lighted  only  by  the  light  of  duty;  outside  its 
radiance  all  was  dark. 

He  seemed  to  be  conscious  of  all  this,  to  be  weighted  by  it. 
but  so  strong  was  his  sense  of  duty,  so  courageous  his  heart, 
so  sure  was  he  of  his  own  high  purposes  and  motives  and  of 
the  favor  of  God  for  himself  and  his  people,  that  he  moved 
forward  calmly  to  his  appointed  work ;  not  with  show  and  brag, 
neither  with  shirking.  He  was  yet  in  a  large  measure  to  win  llie 
confidence  of  men  in  his  high  capacity,  when  the  occasion  was 
so  exigent  as  to  seem  to  call  for  one  who  had  already  won  it. 

As  I  have  said  at  another  time,  the  selection  of  Mr.  Seward 
for  secretary  of  state  was  a  brave  act,  because  Mr.  Lincoln 
could  not  fail  to  know  that  for  a  time  IVIr.  Seward  would  over- 
shadow him  in  popular  estimation,  and  a  wise  act,  because  Mr. 
Seward  was  in  the  highest  degree  qualified  for  the  great  and 
delicate  duties  of  his  office.  A  man  who  is  endowed  for  the 
presidency  will  know  how  to  be  president  in  fact  as  well  as 
in  name,  without  any  fussy  self-assertion. 

He  was  distinguished  from  the  abolition  leaders  by  his 
fairness  and  kindness  with  which  he  judged  the  South  and  the 
slaveholder.  He  was  opposed  to  human  slavery,  not  because 
some  masters  were  cruel,  but  upon  reasons  that  kindness  to 
the  slave  did  not  answer.  "All  men"  included  the  black  man. 
Liberty  is  the  law  of  nature.  The  human  enactment  cannot 
pass  the  limits  of  the  state;  God's  law  embraces  creation. 

Mr.  Lincoln  had  faith  in  time,  and  time  has  justified  his 
faith.  If  the  panorama  of  the  years  from  '61  to  '65  could 
have  been  unrolled  before  the  eyes  of  his  countrymen  would 


88  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

they  have  said,  would  he  have  said,  that  he  was  adequate  for 
the  great  occasion?  And  yet  as  we  look  back  over  the  story 
of  the  Civil  War  he  is  revealed  to  us  standing  above  all  men 
of  that  epoch  in  his  capacity  and  his  adaptation  to  the  duties 
of  the  presidency. 

It  does  not  seem  to  be  God's  way  to  give  men  preparation 
and  fitness  and  to  reveal  them  until  the  hour  strikes.  Men 
must  rise  to  the  situation.  The  storage  batteries  that  are  to 
furnish  the  energies  for  these  great  occasions  God  does  not 
connect  until  the  occasion  comes. 

The  Civil  War  called  for  a  president  who  had  faith  in  time, 
for  his  country  as  well  as  for  himself;  who  could  endure  the 
impatience  of  others  and  bide  his  time ;  a  man  who  could  by  a 
strong  but  restrained  diplomatic  correspondence  hold  off  foreign 
intermeddlers  and  at  the  same  time  lay  the  sure  basis  for  the 
Geneva  award;  a  man  who  could  in  all  his  public  utterances, 
while  maintaining  the  authority  of  the  law  and  the  just 
rights  of  the  national  government,  breathe  an  undertone 
of  yearning  for  the  misguided  and  the  rebellious;  a  man 
who  could  hold  the  war  and  the  policy  of  the  government  to 
its  original  purpose — ^the  restoration  of  the  states  without  the 
destruction  of  slavery — until  public  sentiment  was  ready  to 
support  a  proclamation  of  emancipation;  a  man  who  could 
win  and  hold  the  love  of  the  soldier  and  of  the  masses  of  the 
people;  a  man  who  could  be  just  without  pleasure  in  the 
severities  of  justice,  who  loved  to  forgive  and  pardon. 

Mr.  Lincoln  loved  the  "plain  people"  out  of  whose  ranks 
he  came,  but  not  with  a  class  love.  He  never  pandered  to 
ignorance  or  sought  applause  by  appeals  to  prejudice.  The 
equality  of  men  in  rights  and  burdens,  justice  to  all,  a  govern- 
ment by  aU  the  people,  for  all  the  people,  was  his  thought — 
no  favoritism  in  enactment  or  administration — the  general  good. 
He  had  the  love  of  the  masses  and  he  won  it  fairly,  not  by  art 
or  trick.  He  could,  therefore,  admonish  and  restrain  with 
authority.  He  was  a  man  who  could  speak  to  all  men  and  be 
heard.    Would  there  were  more  such !    There  is  a  great  need  of 


ABRAHAM  LINCOLN  89 

men  now  who  can  be  heard  both  in  the  directors'  meeting  and 
in  the  labor  assembly. 

Qualities  of  heart  and  mind  combined  to  make  a  man  who 
has  won  the  love  of  mankind.  He  is  beloved.  He  stands  like  a 
lighthouse  to  show  the  way  of  duty  to  all  his  countrymen  and 
to  send  afar  a  beam  of  courage  to  those  who  beat  against  the 
winds.  "We  do  him  reverence.  We  bless  tonight  the  memory 
of  Lincoln. 


"NO  MEAN  CITY.'* 

Benjamin  Harrison. 

A  response  by  ex-President  Benjamin  Harrison  at  a  dinner  given 
by  the  Commercial  Club,  Indianapolis,  April  13,  1897,  at  which  he 
was  the  guest  of  honor. 

"No  Mean  City."  The  Apostle  Paul,  when  he  used  these 
words,  was  in  the  hands  of  a  Roman  guard  that  had  come  on 
the  run  to  deliver  him  from  a  Jewish  mob.  The  captain  of  the 
guard  believed  him  to  be  the  leader  of  a  band  of  murderers, 
but  he  did  not  think  that  he  should  be  lynched.  Paul  appealed 
for  identification  and  for  consideration  to  the  fact  that  he  was 
a  native  of  Tarsus  in  Cilicia — a  citizen  of  "no  mean  city." 
To  be  ashamed  of  the  city  you  live  in  is  a  lesser  sorrow  than 
to  have  the  city  ashamed  of  you,  but  still  a  heavy  sorrow. 
There  is  great  comfort  when  a  column  of  residence  is  to  be  filled, 
and  a  Boston  hotel  clerk  is  watching  the  evolution  of  the  name, 
in  not  being  put  to  any  disguise  or  ambiguous  abbreviations. 
Is  there  a  greater  triumph  in  life  than  to  lift  your  eyes  from 
the  register  to  the  arbiter  of  destinies  on  the  other  side  of  the 
counter  and  see  that  his  fear  you  might  blow  out  the  gas  has 
been  allayed?  That  Indianapolis  is  not  an  Indian  reservation 
with  a  classical  termination  is  now  generally  known  in  the 
Eastern  states  and  also  by  some  of  our  English  kin.  It  seems 
that  our  English  cousins  only  acquire  geography  by  conquest, 
and  only  recognize  political  subdivisions  that  they  make  them- 
selves. The  geography  of  lands  to  which  they  have  lost  title 
seems  to  go  hard  with  them — as  witness  the  recent  inquiry  of 
a  high  English  prelate  whether  New  England  was  a  part  of 
Massachusetts. 

Paul  used  no  superlatives  in  his  reference  to  Tarsus;  he 
reserved  them  for  the  city  that  hath  foundations.  He  assumed 
that  there  was  carrying  force  in  the  name  itself;  that  the  help 
of  granulated   adjectives   was  not   needed — ^"no   mean   city." 

90 


*'N0  MEAN  CITY"  91 

He  left  something  to  the  captain's  knowledge  and  imagination. 
He  was  proud  of  Tarsus;  that  is  clear,  and  he  was  not  a  man 
to  be  satisfied  with  negations.  The  city  had  done  something 
distinctively  great,  and  I  set  out  the  other  day,  with  the  help 
of  the  encyclopedia,  to  see  if  I  could  find  out  what  it  was.  I 
find,  in  the  first  place,  that  it  was  a  great  seat  of  learning. 
Its  schools  were  of  the  highest  excellence,  and  the  fame  of  them 
was  as  wide  as  Greek  and  Roman  scholarship.  Strabo  said 
they  were  superior  to  those  of  Athens  and  Alexandria.  Paul 
was  a  man  of  letters,  as  well  as  of  faith.  He  was  a  logician ;  a 
non  sequitur  was  an  abomination  to  him,  as  it  ought  to  be  to  a 
newspaper  man.  As  he  was  proud  of  the  schools  of  Tarsus, 
so  we  are  of  the  schools  of  Indianapolis.  It  is  "no  mean  city." 
As  the  schools  of  Tarsus  surpassed  those  of  Athens,  so  our 
public  schools,  judged  by  most  competent  educational  experts, 
are  not  surpassed  by  those  of  any  city  of  the  United  States. 
But  what  part,  my  friends  of  the  Commercial  Club,  have  you 
and  I  had  in  making  our  schools  what  they  are  ?  We  have  paid 
our  school  taxes  with  more  or  less  cheerfulness — or  with  none 
at  all.  But  has  the  Commercial  Club  or  the  Board  of  Trade 
ever  tendered  a  reception  to  the  faithful  men  and  women  who 
have  placed  the  city  of  our  love  upon  a  pedestal  of  honor  ?  One 
of  the  oldest,  most  devoted  and  successful  of  our  school  workers 
recently  said,  **We  rarely  hear  from  the  public  save  when 
someone  wants  to  find  a  place  on  the  payroll  for  a  niece  or  a 
cousin. ' '  There  are  now,  I  am  told,  in  our  city,  in  addition  to  the 
truant  class,  one  thousand  children  for  whom  there  are  no  school 
accommodations.  A  general  tax  for  public  schools  implies  a 
school  roof  and  a  school  desk  for  every  child,  and  they  should 
be  provided.  The  compulsory  education  law  of  the  last  Legis- 
lature should  be  backed  by  a  supporting  public  sentiment.  "We 
should  have,  not  a  listless,  far-apart  pride  in  our  schools,  but 
the  pride  of  touch  and  participation.  Our  school  board  should 
know  that  while  the  Indianapolis  public  will  tolerate  no  flinch- 
ing, no  self-seeking,  no  rings,  it  will  stand  against  all  assaults 
that  have  their  origin  in  self-interest,  or  in  the  egotistical 
assumption  that  the  critic  is  infallible. 


92  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

Tarsus  was  further  celebrated  for  its  magnificent  roads,  we 
are  told.  The  "ships  of  the  desert"  that  bore  the  products  of 
the  interior  through  the  passes  of  the  Tarsus  to  the  sea  did 
not  have  their  roll  intensified  by  the  right  foot  finding  a  hole 
and  the  left  a  hillock.  The  roads  were  favorable  to  an  even 
keel.  A  city  that  you  cannot  get  to  comfortably  is  a  "mean 
city."  And  here  we  may  raise  the  note  of  exultation  an  octave 
or  two  above  that  of  Paul — ^though  there  may  be  a  perceptible 
quaver  when  the  memory  of  a  drive  to  Irvington  or  Crown  Hill 
sweeps  over  the  choir.  But  our  great  railway  system  saves  us. 
Where  is  there  a  city  that  offers  such  facilities  of  ingress  and 
egress?  They  may  not  only  come  from  the  North  and  East,  the 
West  and  the  South — but  they  may  box  the  compass  and  still 
get  here.  If  a  man  does  not  desire  to  go  any  place  in  particular, 
but  has  a  fancy  to  travel  "sou'  sou'  west"  or  "east  by  south," 
we  can  furnish  him  a  smooth  road. 

Tarsus  was,  besides,  a  free  city  and  the  seat  of  an  important 
commerce.  These  were,  so  far  as  I  know,  the  special  distinctions 
of  Tarsus.  No  doubt  there  were  others  that  history  has  not 
preserved.  But  the  ideal  city  must  have  other  excellences.  It 
must  be  a  city  where  people  diligently  mind  their  own  business 
and  the  public  business,  and  do  both  with  a  decent  regard  to  the 
judgment  and  rights  of  other  men ;  a  city  where  there  is  no  boss 
rule  in  anything ;  where  all  men  are  not  brought  to  the  measure  of 
one  man's  mind  or  to  the  heel  of  one  man's  will;  a  city  whose 
citizens  are  brave  and  true  and  generous,  and  who  care  for  their 
own;  a  city  having  the  community  spirit,  but  not  the  com- 
munistic spirit ;  where  capital  is  respected,  but  has  no  temples ; 
a  city  whose  people  live  in  homes,  where  there  is  room  for  a 
morning  glory  or  a  sweet  pea ;  where  fresh  air  is  not  delivered 
in  pint  cups;  where  the  children  can  every  day  feel  the  spring 
of  Nature's  green  carpet;  where  people  are  not  so  numerous 
as  to  suggest  that  decimation  might  promote  the  general  welfare ; 
where  brains  and  manners,  and  not  bank  balances,  give  ratings 
to  men;  where  there  is  neither  flaunting  wealth  nor  envious 
poverty;  where  life  is  comfortable  and  toil  honorable;  where 
municipal  reformers  are  not  hysterical,  but  have  the  habit  of 


"NO  MEAN  CITY"  93 

keeping  cool;  where  the  broad  judgment  of  a  capital,  and  not 
the  narrowness  of  the  province,  prevails;  where  the  commerce 
in  goods  is  great,  but  not  greater  than  the  exchanges  of  thought 
and  of  neighborly  kindness.  We  have  not  realized  all  these 
things.  We  count  not  ourselves  to  have  attained,  but  we 
follow  after. 

This  is  a  commercial  club;  but,  after  you  have  exhibited 
sites  and  statistics  to  the  man  seeking  a  business  location,  he 
will  want  to  know  about  the  homes,  the  schools,  the  churches, 
the  social  and  literary  clubs ;  whether  it  is  a  place  where  domestic 
life  is  convenient  and  enjoyable;  where  the  social  life  is  broad 
and  hospitable;  where  vice  is  in  restraint;  where  moral  and 
physical  sanitation  have  due  provision;  where  charity  is  broad 
and  wise — a  city  to  which  men  will  grow  attached,  to  which 
they  win  come  back. 

Gentlemen,  you  may  add  these  things  to  the  trade  statistics 
of  Indianapolis.  A  city  offering  the  most  alluring  inducements 
to  commerce  and  production,  it  is  preeminently  a  city  of  homes. 


OUR  PROFESSION— THE  LAW. 

Joseph  Hodges  Choate. 

This  address  was  given  at  a  dinner  of  the  Chicago  Bar  Association, 
February  fourth,  1898. 

No  language  can  express  my  gratitude  for  your  cordial 
invitation  to  me — as  unexpected  as  it  was  undeserved — or  my 
appreciation  of  your  truly  overwhelming  hospitality  and  your 
enthusiastic  greeting.  I  recognize  it  as  a  spontaneous  expression 
of  that  hearty  sympathy  and  fraternal  good  will  which  this  great 
and  learned  and  powerful  bar  of  the  center  of  the  continent  feels 
for  its  brethren  in  the  Atlantic  states  and  in  the  nation  at 
large.  I  am  a  lifelong  believer  in  the  brotherhood  of  the 
American  Bar,  and  so  I  could  not  find  it  in  my  heart  to  decline 
your  invitation,  although  to  accept  it  seemed  almost  to  imply 
that  some  merit  of  my  own  had  brought  it  upon  me. 

I  had  long  heard  of  the  unstinted  hospitality  of  Chicago. 
I  fully  realized  it  on  my  arrival.  No  sooner  had  I  reached  the 
Auditorium  than  I  was  waited  upon  by  the  entire  press  of 
Chicago  in  a  body.  They  tendered  me  the  freedom  of  the  city 
wrapped  up  in  a  newspaper.  They  opened  their  columns  to  me 
to  address  all  mankind  freely  on  every  subject.  They  were 
very  curious  people.  Their  extreme  youth  demonstrated  the 
truth  of  what  I  had  heard,  that  Chicago  relies  for  its  best 
work  upon  its  young  men.  Each  one  of  them  seemed  to  carry 
a  kodak  in  his  eye,  and  they  took  views  of  me  from  every 
quarter  of  the  world,  New  York,  Washington,  Hawaii,  Cuba, 
China  and  St.  Petersburg.  They  came  within  an  ace  of  taking 
my  life.  They  told  me  of  a  thousand  incidents  in  my  career 
which  never  happened  and  put  into  my  mouth  a  hundred  jokes 
which  I  never  uttered.  They  told  me  exactly  how  much  I  was 
worth,  which  my  wife  and  children  will  be  very  glad  to  hear. 
At  last  one  of  them,  more  forward  than  the  rest,  declared, 

94 


OUR  PROFESSION  —  THE  LAW  95 

**"Well,  Mr.  Choate,  you  must  have  attended  at  least  a  million 
dinners ! "  As  that,  at  one  dinner  a  day,  would  carry  me  back, 
according  to  Dr.  Schliemann,  almost  to  the  Trojan  War  and 
make  me  the  pot  companion  of  Agamemnon  and  Ulysses,  or  of 
Priam  and  Hector,  I  denied  the  soft  impeachment;  I  told  them 
that  my  life  was  altogether  quiet  and  domestic,  that  I  always 
avoided  the  scorching  glare  of  publicity  when  I  could  keep  in 
the  shade,  and  that  I  liked  nothing  so  much  as  to  be  let  alone. 
So  they  kindly  took  their  departure,  promising  to  be  with  me 
again  to-night,  and  no  doubt  every  child  of  them  is  among  us 
taking  notes,  and  "Faith,  he'll  print'  em." 

As  I  flew  hither  on  the  wings  of  night  in  that  marvelous 
train  which  brings  us  in  absolute  comfort  and  luxury  a  thousand 
miles  in  twenty-four  hours,  through  cities,  towns  and  villages 
teeming  with  riches  and  plenty,  which  to  the  pioneers  of 
America  would  have  been  a  journey  of  three  months  through 
the  wilderness,  I  could  not  help  thinking  how  time  and  space 
between  New  York  and  Chicago  have  utterly  vanished;  and 
how  these  two  greatest  cities  of  the  Western  Hemisphere  are 
henceforth  one  in  interest,  in  sympathy,  in  culture  and  in  duty. 
The  Greater  New  York  may  not  include  Chicago  within  its 
growing  boundaries,  but  Chicago,  with  its  far-reaching  influence 
and  power,  will  touch  and  embrace  New  York.  In  one  respect 
you  will  have  an  immense  advantage  over  us — if  New  York  is 
our  gateway  to  Europe,  Chicago  is  the  gateway.  East  and  West 
and  North  and  South,  not  of  our  nation  only,  but  of  the  whole 
continent.  As  was  said  of  Rome  in  imperial  days,  **A11  roads 
lead  to  Chicago."  Here  the  great  throbbing  center  sends  forth 
life  to  the  whole  body  of  America.  These  bands  of  steel  which 
radiate  from  here  in  every  direction  are  the  arteries  and 
veins  which  convey  and  reconvey  the  very  life  blood  between 
the  heart  of  the  nation  and  its  utmost  extremities — these  tiny 
threads  of  wire  reaching  from  Chicago  to  every  city  and  village 
and  almost  literally  to  every  household  in  the  land,  constitute 
the  nervous  system  which  keeps  the  whole  alive  with  thought 
and  soul  and  brain. 

One  future,  one  hope,  one  destiny,  awaits  us  all  alike — if 


96  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

one  section  suflEers,  all  the  rest  will  suffer  with  it;  if  one  member 
perishes,  the  whole  body  will  perish  at  the  same  time.  And  if 
there  is,  which  I  do  not  believe,  a  growing  jealousy  and  strain 
between  the  East  and  West,  Chicago,  with  her  equal  hold  on 
both,  must  be  the  mediator,  and  we  of  New  York  may  well  envy 
the  share  which  the  bar  of  Chicago  will  take  in  such  a  con- 
ciliation. 

When  I  look  around  me  on  this  great  'company  of  busy  and 
successful  lawyers,  resting  for  a  moment  from  their  never-ending 
labors ;  when  I  study  the  lines  which  time  has  traced  upon  their 
features,  I  can  easily  see  that  success  in  our  profession  rests 
everywhere  upon  the  same  foundation.  It  is  the  same  old  story 
of  the  sound  mind  and  the  honest  heart  in  the  sound  body. 
The  sound  body  is  at  the  bottom  of  it  all.  The  stomach  is 
indeed  the  key  of  all  professional  eminence.  If  that  goes  back 
on  you,  you  might  as  well  throw  up  the  sponge.  And  sleep 
without  worry  must  cherish  and  nourish  it  all  the  time. 

Sleep  that  knits  up  the  ravelled  sleeve  of  care, 

The  death  of  each  day's  life, 

Sore  labor's  bath,  balm  of  hurt  minds; 

Great  nature's  second  course, 

Chief  nourisher  in  life's  feast. 

Why  should  we  worry  over  miseries  and  troubles  which 
concern  our  clients  only,  and  not  us  at  all  ?  Our  entire  responsi- 
bility ends  when  we  have  done  our  best,  and  the  rest  belongs 
to  the  judges  and  juries  or  the  clients  themselves,  and  if  we 
fail,  the  fault  lies  with  the  former  for  being  so  dull,  or  so 
inappreciative  of  our  efforts  and  arguments,  or  with  the  latter 
for  having  such  bad  and  hopeless  cases.  Next  comes  that  patient 
industry  which  never  flinches  and  never  falters. 

And  then  the  **  unconquerable  will  with  courage  never  to 
submit  or  yield,"  which  is  success  itself.  I  have  known  all  the 
leaders  who  have  flourished  at  the  Eastern  bar  for  forty  years, 
and  most  of  those  from  other  parts  of  the  country,  and  although 
no  two  of  them  were  alike  in  physical  or  mental  endowments, 
all  agreed  in  this  one  moral  quality — a  grim  tenacity  of  purpose 
to  hang  on  and  hold  out  through  everything  and  against  every- 


OUR  PROFESSION  — THE  LAW  97 

thing  until  the  end  was  reached.  Then  sprinkle  in  the  mental 
qualities,  each  to  suit  his  own  taste,  and  according  to  what  he 
happens  to  have  on  hand.  But  last  and  more  than  all  what  Mr. 
Emerson  said  of  character  is  far  more  true  in  our  profession 
than  anywhere  else,  that  character  is  a  far  higher  power  than 
intellect,  and  character  and  conscience  in  the  long  run  are  sure 
to  come  out  ahead. 

So,  if  I  rightly  read  your  lineaments,  this  great  bar  of 
Chicago  is  built  up  on  health,  industry,  courage,  brains,  char- 
acter and  conscience,  and  must  hold  its  own  against  the  world. 

When  I  recall  some  of  the  great  names  that  have  graced 
and  ennobled  the  legal  annals  of  this  city  and  state,  first  and 
foremost  always  the  immortal  Lincoln,  who,  by  sheer  force  of 
his  intellect,  in  spite  of  every  possible  disadvantage,  became 
eminent  in  his  profession  here,  and  then  by  genius  in  debate 
exposed  to  the  listening  nation  the  fatal  question  on  which  its 
destiny  hung,  and  at  last,  by  the  matchless  power  of  his  sublime 
character,  carried  it  through  blood  and  fire  to  the  triumphant 
solution  of  that  question — to  a  union  never  again  to  be  shaken 
because  founded  on  absolute  and  equal  justice  to  men  of  every 
color,  race  and  creed,  and  to  that  new  birth  of  freedom  which 
he  proclaimed  at  Gettysburg.  And,  again,  when  I  recall  the 
name  of  Lyman  Trumbull,  through  a  long  life  a  great  champion 
in  the  legal  arena  and  who  once,  in  the  very  prime  of  life  and 
the  summit  of  his  powers,  had  the  good  fortune  to  render  a 
great  service  to  his  country,  when,  believing  as  he  did  that  the 
great  executive  office  of  the  nation  itself  was  on  trial,  he  cast 
a  decisive  vote  to  preserve  it,  although  at  the  sacrifice  of  his 
political  prospects  and  power.  When  I  remember  the  brilliant 
and  accomplished  Wirt  Dexter,  who  transplanted  from  the  old 
Bay  State  the  prestige  and  tradition  of  a  family  of  great 
lawyers  and  maintained  it  here  with  new  and  undiminished 
luster — and  then  your  own  Goudy,  so  lately  lost  and  so  lamented, 
not  here  only,  but  wherever  the  capacity  to  solve  great  questions 
and  handle  great  affairs  by  skill,  by  tact,  by  wisdom  and  by 
learning,  was  appreciated  and  honored.  When  I  recall  the  signal 
service  to  the  nation  and  to  human  welfare  which  the  courts 


98  AITER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

of  this  region,  both  State  and  Federal,  have  rendered — ^how 
when  anarchy  seemed  on  the  point  of  gaining  the  mastery  they 
have  mastered  it,  by  courage,  by  reason,  by  the  intrepid  exercise 
of  the  judicial  power,  without  regard  to  personal  danger  or 
consequences,  and  how  by  the  steady  and  wise  labor  of  half  a 
century  they  have  built  up  your  system  of  law  and  equity  to 
a  height  which  commands  respect  and  authority  in  all  places 
and  in  all  courts — I  feel  that  New  York  can  look  to  Chicago  and 
Illinois  for  light  and  leading  with  the  same  faith  and  confidence 
that  you  in  turn  look  back  to  her. 

When  I  contemplate  your  wonderful  city  and  contrast  it 
with  what  it  was  when  I  first  saw  it  forty-three  years  ago,  when 
it  had  but  80,000  inhabitants  and  its  streets  were  almost  sub- 
merged beneath  the  waters  of  the  lake — when  I  survey  its  com- 
merce, its  manufactures,  its  parks  and  museums  and  charities, 
its  grand  boulevards,  its  splendid  architecture  and  towering 
edifices — above  all,  when  I  see,  to  use  the  language  of  Burke, 
how  population  shoots  in  this  quarter  of  the  land,  I  can  realize 
how  it  was  that  the  people  of  New  York  City,  alarmed  at  your 
progress  and  jealous  of  your  mighty  strides  to  power,  hit  upon 
the  scheme  of  Greater  New  York  in  the  vain  hope  of  keeping 
ahead  of  Chicago.  They  heard  that  your  population  was 
doubling  every  ten  years — that  your  area  was  expanding  to  an 
extent  as  boundless  as  the  prairies  that  surround  it — ^that  you 
had  more  money  than  you  knew  what  to  do  with  and  were 
already  becoming  bankers  and  money  lenders  of  Europe,  and 
they  determined  by  the  artificial  scheme  of  annexation  to  cir- 
cumvent you — ^vain  hope  and  foolish  expectation!  You  will  go 
on  as  you  have  before  and  continued  until  now.  Here  is  to  be 
the  favorite  home  of  the  new  American,  that  composite  creature 
in  whose  veins  the  mingled  strains  of  all  the  scattered  branches 
of  the  Aryan  race  unite,  with  whose  energy  and  daring  and 
speed  and  wind  and  bottom  the  tired  cities  of  the  East  will 
strive  in  vain  to  keep  an  even  pace. 

We  are  all  lawyers  here  to-night,  and  by  courtesy  we  may  for 
the  occasion  include  even  the  judges  as  members  of  our  craft. 
Although  they  have  soared  aloft  on  silken  wings  to  a  higher  and 


OUR  PROFESSION  — THE  LAW  99 

nobler  sphere,  they  are  not  unwilling  to  return  to  us  on  nights 
like  this,  as  the  retired  tallow  chandler  was  wont  to  return  to 
the  shop  on  melting  days.  How  delightful  it  is  to  meet  them 
on  an  even  keel  and  at  short  range,  and  speak  our  minds  freely 
without  fear  of  being  committed  for  contempt.  There's  a 
divinity  that  doth  hedge  a  judge,  I  know,  but  to-night  the  hedge 
is  down  and  they  are  very  fair  game  indeed. 

Let  me  speak  of  our  noble  profession  and  of  some  of  the 
reasons  we  have  for  loving  and  honoring  it  above  all  others. 

In  the  first  place,  I  maintain  that  in  no  other  occupation  to 
which  men  can  devote  their  lives  is  there  a  nobler  intellectual 
pursuit  or  a  higher  moral  standard  than  that  which  inspires 
and  pervades  the  ranks  of  the  legal  profession.  To  establish 
justice,  to  maintain  the  rights  of  men,  to  defend  the  helpless 
and  oppressed,  to  succor  innocence  and  punish  guilt,  to  aid  in 
the  solution  of  those  great  questions,  legal  and  constitutional, 
which  are  constantly  being  evolved  from  the  ever  varying 
affairs  and  business  of  men — are  duties  that  may  well  challenge 
the  best  powers  of  man's  intellect  and  the  noblest  qualities  of 
the  human  heart.  I  do  not,  of  course,  mean  to  say  that  among 
the  ninety  thousand  lawyers  whom  the  census  counts  in  our 
seventy  millions  of  people  there  is  not  much  base  alloy — I  speak 
of  that  great  body  of  active  and  laborious  practitioners  upon 
whom  rests  the  responsibility  of  substantial  litigations  and  the 
conduct  and  guidance  of  important  affairs.  You  will  look  in 
vain  elsewhere  for  more  spotless  honor,  more  absolute  devotion, 
more  patient  industry,  more  conscientious  fidelity  than  among 
these. 

I  am  not  unmindful  of  that  ever-mooted  question  how  we 
can,  with  the  strictest  honor,  maintain  the  side  that  is  wrong, 
and  the  suggestion  that  as  only  one  side  can  be  right  in  every 
lawsuit,  we  must  half  the  time  be  struggling  for  injustice.  But 
that  vexed  question  has  long  been  settled  by  the  common  sense  of 
mankind.  It  is  only  out  of  the  contest  of  facts  and  of  brains  that 
the  right  can  ever  be  evoked — only  on  the  anvil  of  discussion  that 
the  spark  of  truth  can  be  struck  out.  Perfect  justice,  as  Judge 
Story  said,  "belongs  to  one  judgment  seat  only — to  that  which 


100  AFTEKrDINNER  SPEECHES 

is  linked  to  the  throne  of  God ;  but  human  tribunals  can  never 
do  justice  and  decide  for  the  right  until  both  sides  have  been 
fully  heard."  When  Jeremiah  Evarts,  the  father  of  my  great 
master  in  the  law  and  himself  a  truly  great  and  righteous  man, 
had  graduated  from  Yale  and  was  considering  the  law  as  his 
profession,  this  same  question  disturbed  his  honest  and  con- 
scientious mind,  and  he  consulted  Judge  Ellsworth,  afterward 
Chief  Justice  of  the  United  States,  who  solved  his  doubts  by 
advising  him  that  any  cause  that  was  fit  for  any  court  to  heai* 
was  fit  for  any  lawyer  to  present  on  either  side,  and  that  neither 
judge  nor  counsel  had  the  right  to  prejudge  the  case  until  both 
sides  had  been  heard ;  and  he  told  him  of  Sir  Matthew  Hale,  one 
of  the  most  righteous  lawyers  and  judges  in  English  history,  who 
began  with  the  same  misgivings,  but  modified  his  views  when 
several  causes  that  he  had  condemned  and  rejected  proved  finally 
to  be  good. 

Nor  is  ours  the  only  profession  in  which  the  same  question 
has  been  agitated,  for  we  read  in  the  life  of  John  Milton  that 
when  his  good  old  father  had  lavished  a  good  part  of  his  fortune 
upon  his  education  at  Cambridge  until  he  had  taken  his  degree 
of  Master  of  Arts,  having  no  other  thought  then  that  his  son 
should  devote  his  great  character,  intellect  and  eloquence  to  the 
church — ^the  youthful  poet,  after  a  full  study  of  the  question, 
decided  for  himself  that  he  could  not  enter  a  profession  which 
would  require  him  to  advocate  what  he  did  not  believe  to  be  true. 

Again,  we  love  the  law  because  among  all  the  learned  pro- 
fessions it  is  the  one  that  involves  the  study  and  the  pursuit  of 
a  stable  and  exact  science.  Theology,  it  is  true,  was  once  con- 
sidered an  immutable  science,  but  how  has  it  changed  from  age 
to  age  and  even  from  year  to  year.  We  were  bred  to  believe 
that  everything  and  every  word  within  the  four  comers  of 
Holy  Writ  was  absolutely  inspired  truth.  But  now  upon  what 
unhappy  times  have  we  fallen,  in  which  the  props  of  our  faith 
are  being  knocked  from  under  us,  day  by  day.  Only  a  month 
or  so  ago  the  pastor  of  Plymouth  Church  announced  that  the 
sacred  story  of  Jonah  and  the  whale  was  only  a  myth ;  that  the 
whale  did  not  swallow  Jonah  or  hold  him  in  his  stomach  for 


OUR  PROFESSION  — THE  LAW  101 

three  days  or  vomit  him  up  on  the  shore  at  all — and  so  that 
charming  narrative,  to  which  we  had  pinned  our  faith  in  youth 
and  manhood  as  one  inspired  piece  of  history  which  we  could 
and  must  believe,  vanished  forever  from  our  mental  vision. 

Not  to  be  outdone  by  Dr.  Abbott,  another  of  our  metropolitan 
divines  has  declared  that  in  the  deluge  the  waters  did  not  cover 
the  whole  earth,  and  so  we  must  abandon  the  delightful  and 
tragic  drama  which  has  fascinated  the  world  for  thousands  of 
years,  of  Noah  and  the  ark  and  the  destruction  of  the  wicked, 
and  the  dove  and  the  olive  branch,  and  the  only  true  theory 
of  the  invention  of  the  rainbow.  And,  last  of  all,  a  distinguished 
bishop  announces  at  a  public  dinner  that  nowadays  nobody  but 
printers  believe  in  the  existence  of  a  personal  devil.  Why, 
without  him,  where  shall  we  be?  And  who  will  foment  the 
litigations  for  our  successors  to  conduct  or  to  settle  ?  And  now 
it  only  remains  for  some  great  Chicago  divine  to  discover  that 
Nebuchadnezzar  did  not  really  eat  grass — that  his  skin  was  not 
really  wet  with  the  dews  of  heaven  until  his  hair  became  as 
eagles'  feathers  and  his  nails  as  birds'  claws.  So  will  the 
foundations  of  our  faith  be  utterly  destroyed,  and  we  can  no 
longer  cherish  that  signal  chapter  of  religious  history,  which 
has  come  to  us  straight  from  Babylon  to  Chicago,  and  which 
was  at  the  same  time  one  of  the  greatest  political  triumphs  on 
record  and  worthy  of  perpetual  imitation,  for  how  can  we  better 
dispose  of  our  oppTessors,  of  our  unjust  rulers,  governors,  judges, 
senators,  than  by  turning  them  out  to  grass? 

And  then  as  to  medicine.  How  its  practice  and  its  theories 
succeed  each  other  in  rapid  revolution,  so  that  what  were  good 
methods  and  healing  doses  and  saving  prescriptions  a  generation 
ago  are  now  condemned  as  poisons  and  nostrums,  and  all  the 
past  is  adjudged  to  be  empirical. 

Meanwhile,  "the  common  law,  like  a  nursing  father,  makes 
void  the  part  where  the  fault  is  and  preserves  the  rest,"  as  it 
has  been  doing  for  centuries,  and  we  are  busy  applying  to  each 
new  case  as  it  rises  the  same  principles,  the  same  rules  of  right 
and  justice  which  have  been  established  for  many  generations. 
We  preserve  the  real  fruit  and  throw  away  the  rind.     The 


102  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

technicalities  which  have  too  long  encrusted  the  law  have  been 
stripped  away,  and  now,  like  Lord  Mansfield,  our  judges  try- 
to  solve  every  case  by  common  sense  and  the  sense  of  justice 
and  the  sense  of  honor,  which,  in  their  highest  manifestation, 
constitute  the  most  eminent  and  valuable  judicial  qualities. 

We  hear  sometimes  that  the  American  bar  has  degenerated ; 
that  it  does  not  equal  its  predecessors  in  power  and  character 
and  influence,  but  this  I  utterly  deny.  To  the  demands  which 
each  generation  makes  upon  it  it  is  always  adequate.  Times 
change  and  men  change  with  them.  The  intense  pressure  of 
modem  life  and  business  leaves  its  mark  upon  our  profession 
as  upon  every  other  vocation.  What  once  could  be  said  in  three 
days  must  now  be  said  in  two  hours — what  once  could  be  done  in 
a  month  must  now  be  done  in  a  day,  and  for  one  I  do  not  hesitate 
to  say  that  for  skill,  eflSciency,  utility  and  power  the  service 
which  our  profession  lends  to  the  community  to-day  has  not 
been  surpassed  in  any  former  generation.  It  must  be  so.  Take 
from  the  Bar  of  New  York,  as  it  stands,  a  hundred  of  its 
leading  practitioners  in  court  and  in  office,  and  fifty  of  equal 
rank  from  the  Bar  of  Chicago,  and  they  will  do  more  and 
better  work  than  any  equal  number  in  any  past  age. 

So  when  these  carpers  who  would  laud  the  past  at  the 
expense  of  the  present  ask  me  if  the  bench  of  to-day  is  what 
it  was  in  the  olden  time,  I  answer  No,  it  is  better  qualified  for 
the  work  it  has  to  do  than  any  of  the  old  judges  would  have 
been.  '  The  bench,  like  the  bar  of  every  generation,  is  evolved 
from  the  character  and  condition  of  the  age  and  the  demands 
which  it  makes  upon  the  profession.  Take  the  Supreme  Court 
of  the  United  States  as  the  most  striking  and  illustrious  example. 
When  John  Jay,  the  first  Chief  Justice,  presided  the  court  was 
almost  always  adjourned  because  there  were  no  cases  to  be 
heard.  All  the  time  that  Marshall  presided  the  records  were 
never  printed — ^the  original  manuscript  record  was  handed  along 
the  bench  for  the  several  judges  to  examine.  Webster  and 
Pinkney  and  their  compeers  would  go  in  from  the  Senate  to 
the  court,  which  sat  three  days  in  the  week,  and  agree  upon 
a  day  for  argument  two  or  three  months  ahead,  and   then 


OUR  PROFESSION  — THE  LAW  103 

appear  and  argue  without  limit  of  time — ^two  or  three  days 
apiece,  as  the  case  might  be.  Arguments  concluded,  Marshall 
and  Story  could  take  the  great  cases  to  Richmond  and  to 
Salem,  and  have  weeks  or  months  to  prepare  those  learned  and 
elaborate  opinions  which  really  laid  the  foundations  of  our 
Federal  law,  and  settled  the  Constitution  upon  an  imperishable 
basis.  Now,  steam  and  electricity  and  the  telegraph  and  the 
telephone  and  the  intense  pressure  of  business  which  has  grown 
out  of  these,  have  changed  the  whole  order  of  things,  and  I 
prefer  to  adapt  the  question  to  the  changed  conditions  and  to 
turn  it  end  for  end,  and  to  ask:  Could  Marshall  and  Story 
and  their  associates,  if  now  summoned  to  the  task,  do  the  work 
which  Fuller  and  Harlan  and  their  associates  discharge  so  ably, 
so  conscientiously  and  so  well?  The  question  answers  itself: 
Let  the  dead  past  bury  its  dead.  Gathering  all  the  light  it 
can  from  the  past  and  responsible  to  the  future  for  the  results 
of  its  conduct,  the  living  present  suffices  for  its  own  work. 

There  is  one  respect,  I  admit,  in  which  we  have  declined 
and  which,  for  one,  I  do  greatly  deplore — the  cultivation  of  the 
fraternal  and  social  spirit  among  ourselves  has  been  almost 
abandoned,  and  it  ought  to  be  revived  and  transmitted.  In 
thirty  years  we  have  had  but  two  Bar  dinners  in  New  York, 
and  our  younger  brethren  only  know  by  tradition  how  those 
who  preceded  us  mitigated  the  austerity  of  the  law  by  constant 
social  festivities — how  they  went  on  circuit  as  a  band  of  brothers 
— and  however  lustily  they  might  contend  in  the  court  room, 
outside  of  it  they  were  boon  companions. 

Our  English  brethren  set  us  a  most  worthy  example  in 
this  regard. 

In  Shakespeare's  time,  when  he  haunted  the  Mermaid  Tavern 
in  compan"  with  Ben  Jonson,  he  saw  the  barristers  come  in 
from  the  courts,  and  from  what  he  saw  he  puts  into  the  mouth 
of  Tranio  in  **The  Taming  of  the  Shrew": 

Please  ye  we  may  contrive  this  afternoon. 
And  quaff  carouses  to  our  Mistress'  health. 
And  do  as  adversaries  do  in  law — 
Strive  mightily,  but  eat  and  drink  as  friends. 


104  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

The  Inns  of  Court  have  been  the  scene  of  constant  daily 
intercourse,  and  not  rarely  of  the  most  jovial  festivities.  From 
the  time  of  Charles  the  First,  when  they  contrived  their  great 
historic  masque  for  the  entertainment  of  the  King  and  Queen 
at  court,  a  jollification  in  which  the  greatest  barristers  of  the 
day,  such  as  Hyde,  afterwards  Earl  of  Clarendon;  and  as  John 
Selden,  whose  delightful  table  talk  has  come  down  to  us  through 
two  centuries  and  a  half,  and  Attorney  General  Noy  and  Bull- 
strode  Whitlock  took  an  active  part,  down  to  the  days  of  Lord 
Coleridge  and  Sir  Charles  Russell  and  Sir  Frank  Lockwood, 
whose  recent  death,  so  untimely  and  so  lamented,  has  been  a 
serious  loss  to  the  profession,  both  here  and  there,  the  London 
barristers  have  been  the  lights  of  each  succeeding  age — ^the  leaven 
that  leavened  the  whole  lump  of  English  life  and  society. 

Let  us  imitate  a  little  further  their  bright  and  shining 
example.  Let  us  lead  lives  less  dry — ^less  sterile — ^less  a  matter 
of  pure  and  unmitigated  business.  Let  us  each  ride  not  only 
a  horse,  but  a  hobby  also.  Above  all,  let  us  get  all  the  enter- 
tainment we  can  out  of  our  work  as  we  go  along,  for  we  may 
rest  assured  that  if  we  postpone  the  fun  of  life  until  the  work 
is  done  it  will  never  come,  for  it  will  find  us  as  dry  and  dusty 
as  so  many  remainder  biscuits  after  a  voyage.  So  I  trust  that 
we  in  New  York  shall  imitate  your  example,  and  that  this 
occasion  may  be  only  the  beginning  of  a  real  interchange  of 
a  living  brotherhood  between  the  Bar  Associations  of  our  two 
great  and  noble  cities. 

But  there  is  one  respect  in  which  the  American  Bar  has 
far  outshone  not  only  its  brethren  in  England,  but  in  every 
other  country  of  modern  times.  I  mean  in  its  great  share  in 
the  conduct  and  shaping  of  public  affairs.  In  all  our  history, 
among  the  gallant  champions  of  liberty,  the  wise  founders  of 
free  states,  the  framers  and  defenders  of  free  constitutions  and 
of  the  rights  of  the  people  under  them,  the  lawyers  of  America 
have  ever  been  foremost.  I  refer  not  now  to  official  life,  though 
all  the  great  civil  offices,  State  and  Federal,  have  always  been, 
are  now,  and  always  must  and  will  be,  to  a  large  degree  filled 
from  their  ranks ;  but  I  speak  of  that  lofty  public  and  patriotic 


OUR  PROFESSION  — THE  LAW  105 

spirit  for  the  people's  good  which  ought  to  animate  the  heart 
of  every  lawyer  worthy  of  the  name.  When  James  Otis  resigned 
his  rich  office  as  Crown  Advocate  to  maintain  the  cause  of  the 
merchants  and  the  people  of  Boston  against  the  oppression  of 
general  warrants,  refusing  all  rewards,  saying,  **In  such  a  cause 
I  despise  all  fees,"  and  delivered  in  the  old  State  House  that 
great  plea  for  popular  rights,  so  telling,  so  overwhelming,  that 
John  Adams,  who  was  present,  declared  long  afterward  that 
on  that  day  and  in  that  room  "the  child  Independence  was 
born,"  he  set  the  pace  for  all  the  future  lawyers  of  America. 
When  John  Adams  and  Josiah  Quincy,  Jr.,  braved  the  popular 
wrath  in  their  successful  defense  of  Captain  Preston  and  his 
British  soldiers  for  their  part  in  the  Boston  massacre — and 
when  Patrick  Henry,  in  that  little  court  house  in  Virginia, 
argued  the  Parson's  cause  and  displayed  for  the  first  time  his 
transcendent  power  as  the  people's  orator,  they  embodied  that 
public  spirit  which  has  animated  the  patriotism  of  the  profession 
ever  since. 

I  believe  that  with  one  consent  the  common  judgment  of 
mankind  would  point  to  Hamilton,  Webster  and  Lincoln  as 
the  three  American  lawyers  whose  actual  public  services  had 
most  largely  contributed  to  the  formation  and  preservation  of 
the  Constitution,  on  whose  continuance  the  hopes  of  civil  liberty 
for  all  coming  time  depend.  God  made  them  greater  than  the 
rest,  and  the  opportunities  came  to  them  for  great  achievements 
which  found  each  in  turn  ready  and  able  for  the  service 
demanded.  Hamilton's  creative  genius  was  displayed  in  the 
part  he  took  in  framing  the  Constitution,  and  again  in  securing 
its  adoption,  and  finally  in  launching  the  new  government  in 
practical  and  successful  operation  under  it,  which  probably 
surpasses  any  political  service  ever  rendered  by  one  man  in  our 
national  history.  To  Webster  I  ascribe  a  share  second  to  that 
of  no  other  man  in  the  final  triumph  of  the  Constitution  and 
the  Union  over  all  their  foes.  It  has  been  the  fashion  of  late 
years  to  belittle  him  because  of  the  infirmities  of  his  declining 
years,  but  for  two  entire  generations  he  was  at  all  times  and 
in  all  places  inculcating  in  the  breasts  of  the  youth  of  America 


106  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

that  ardent  patriotism  which  inspired  his  own — that  devotion 
to  the  flag  which  would  compel  them  to  follow  it  wherever 
freedom  led  and  to  the  Union  one  and  inseparable.  So  that 
at  last  when  the  fatal  summons  from  Sumter  sounded,  though 
dead,  he  yet  spoke  to  them,  his  heart,  which  had  warmed,  his 
brain,  which  had  illuminated  New  England  for  them  and  their 
fathers  seemed  to  live  once  more — and  under  his  inspiration  still 
they  marched  to  death  or  to  victory — but  at  all  hazards,  as  he  had 
taught  them,  to  save  the  Union,  without  which  all  else  was  lost. 

Of  Lincoln,  why  should  I  try  to  say  more  in  this  presence 
or  in  this  city  or  state  ?  History  has  long  since  decided  that  to 
him  under  God  the  world  owes  it  that  government  of  the  people, 
by  the  people  and  for  the  people  has  not  perished  from  the  earth. 
A  thousand  years  from  now  his  name  will  stand  as  bright  as 
to-day  as  the  synonym  of  freedom  and  free  government.  Oppor- 
tunities such  as  these  three  great  representatives  enjoyed  and 
improved  may  not  come  to  every  or  to  any  generation  of 
American  lawyers.  But  at  all  times,  and  especially  in  this  our 
day,  great  public  duties  await  us.  So  long  as  the  Supreme  Court 
exists  to  be  attacked  and  defended — that  sheet  anchor  of  our 
liberties  and  of  our  government — so  long  as  the  public  credit 
and  good  faith  of  this  great  nation  are  in  peril — so  long  as  the 
right  of  property  which  lies  at  the  root  of  all  civil  government 
is  scouted,  and  the  three  inalienable  rights  to  life,  to  liberty 
and  the  pursuit  of  happiness  which  the  Declaration  of  Inde- 
pendence proclaimed  and  the  Constitution  has  guaranteed  alike 
against  the  action  of  Congress  and  of  the  States  are  in  jeopardy, 
80  long  will  great  public  service  be  demanded  of  the  Bar. 

Let  us  magnify  our  calling.  Let  us  be  true  to  these  great 
occasions,  and  respond  with  all  our  might  to  these  great  demands, 
so  that  when  our  work  is  done,  of  us  at  least  it  may  be  said  that 
we  transmitted  our  profession  to  our  successors  as  great,  as 
useful  and  as  spotless  as  it  came  to  our  hand. 


THE  ARMY. 

Majob-General  Leonard  "Wood. 

At  the  banquet  of  the  Sons  of  the  Revolution,  given  at  the  New 
Willard  Hotel  at  the  time  of  the  triennial  meeting  in  Washington, 
the  nineteenth  of  April,  1911,  General  Wood  responded  to  the  toast, 
"The  Army."  The  General  President,  Mr.  Edmund  Wetmore,  said  in 
Introducing  General  Wood: 

Our  next  regular  toast  is  "The  Army,"  by  which  we  wish  to  ex- 
press our  unfailing  loyalty  to  that  splendid  body,  an  organization 
born  with  the  flag  and  its  invincible  defender  ever  since.  [Applause.] 
I  shall  call  upon  Major-General  Wood,  the  distinguished  chief  of  staff, 
to  respond;  but  as  an  introduction,  and  before  that,  the  New  York 
Society  wishes  to  add  a  small  tribute  of  their  own  which  comes  most 
appropriately  from  the  State  of  New  York,  although  we  feel  perfectly 
sure  it  will  be  accompanied  by  the  hearty  good  wishes  of  the  whole 
Society.  I  will  ask  our  fellow  member,  C!olonel  Ladd,  to  make  the 
presentation. 

Col.  William  W,  Ladd,  of  New  York,  said:  General  Wood,  it  has 
recently  been  brought  to  the  attention  of  the  Society  of  the  Sons  of 
the  Revolution  in  the  State  of  New  York  that  Battery  F  of  the  Fifth 
Field  Artillery,  formerly  Battery  F  of  the  Fourth  Field  Artillery, 
possesses  a  guidon  which  has  historic  value  and  which  has  relation 
to  the  early  history  of  the  country.  That  battery  was  organized  on 
the  first  of  March,  1776,  and  its  first  captain  was  Alexander  Hamilton. 
[Applause.]  Through  the  vicissitudes  of  service  and  the  length  of 
time  that  has  elapsed  since  this  guidon  was  presented  to  the  bat- 
tery it  Is  now  In  such  condition  that  it  should  be  replaced  by  a  new 
one. 

The  Society  of  Sons  of  the  Revolution  in  the  State  of  New  York 
desires  to  present  to  the  battery  through  you,  sir,  a  new  guidon,  in 
all  respects  a  faithful  and  exact  copy  of  that  which  the  battery  has 
long  carried  and  which  perpetuates  the  historic  fact  to  which  I  have 
alluded.  It  is  not  necessary  for  me  at  this  time  or  In  this  place  to 
make  any  extended  mention  of  the  services  of  Alexander  Hamilton. 
It  Is  sufficient  to  say  that  his  brilliant  talents  and  his  varied  accom- 
plishments, in  whatever  direction  they  were  employed,  were  controlled 
and  guided  by  devotion  to  duty  and  loyalty  to  country.  In  this  con- 
nection it  is  worthy  of  remark  that  upon  this  guidon  there  is  the 

107 


108  AFTEKrDINNER  SPEECHES 

motto  of  the  battery,  "Faithful  and  True."  And  you,  sir,  know  better 
than  any  one  of  us  present  that,  phrase  it  as  you  may,  those  two  words 
embody  the  foundation  upon  which  is  built  all  true  military  discipline. 
I  have  the  honor,  therefore,  to  ask  that  you  will  accept  this  guidon 
for  presentation  to  the  battery,  to  be  borne  by  it  in  remembrance  of 
the  distinguished  past  of  its  organization  and  as  an  incentive  to  its 
members  to  continue  to  uphold  that  high  standard  of  discipline  and 
devotion  to  duty  that  characterizes  our  national  army;  and,  further, 
to  ever  remind  them  that  the  Sons  of  the  Revolution  exist  not  merely 
to  perpetuate  and  recall  the  memories  of  the  past  services  to  the 
country  of  their  ancestors,  but  also  to  take  a  deep  interest  in  the  per- 
formance of  their  duty  to  the  Nation  by  those  in  its  service  at  the 
present  day,  and  that  the  Sons  of  the  Revolution  welcome  such  an 
opportunity  as  this  to  bear  witness  to  their  affection  and  regard  for 
the  defenders  of  the  flag.     [Applause.] 

The  orchestra  then  played  "The  Star  Spangled  Banner." 
The  General  President:     General  Wood.     [Applause.] 

I  wish  to  express  to  you,  sir,  and  through  you  to  the  New 
York  Chapter,  my  thanlss  for  this  guidon  and,  as  a  representa- 
tive of  the  army,  to  inform  you  that  I  shall  forward  it  to  the 
battery  designated,  in  whose  behalf  I  thank  you  and  assure  you 
that  it  will  be  carried  with  honor  and  guarded  as  faithfully  as 
was  its  predecessor.     [Applause.] 

Speaking  as  an  officer  of  the  army,  it  is  a  great  pleasure 
to  find  a  society  of  this  sort  in  existence  in  these  days  when 
there  is  so  much  to  discourage  the  development,  or  rather  the 
maintenance,  of  the  old  American  military  spirit.  We  hear 
every  day  that  there  is  going  to  be  no  more  war,  and  we 
earnestly  hope  that  it  may  be  so ;  but  we  must,  to  a  large  extent, 
judge  the  future  by  the  past.  We  know  that  the  sun  rose 
yesterday  and  we  are  certain  that  it  will  rise  to-morrow.  We 
know  that  wars  always  have  taken  place,  and  we  are  certain 
that  they  will  occur  in  the  future,  perhaps  not  as  frequently 
as  in  the  past,  but  if  less  frequently,  they  will  come  much  more 
suddenly,  because  most  of  the  great  nations  are  fully  prepared 
for  war  and  realize  the  importance  of  striking  the  first  blow. 
They  will,  perhaps,  be  shorter,  but,  on  the  whole,  less  deadly 
than  the  protracted  wars  and  close  fighting  of  former  days. 
The  nature  of  man  has  not  so  changed  as  to  warrant  the 


THE  AEMY  109 

assumption  that  he  will  not  fight  when  questions  of  vital  interest 
are  involved.  We  in  the  United  States  have  drifted  along  for 
many  years  without  serious  thought  of  war  or  preparation  for 
war.  We  have  always  felt  that  somehow  or  other  we  would  rise 
to  the  emergency  and,  though  wholly  unprepared,  succeed  against 
an  equally  brave  and  well-prepared  enemy.  We  have  never 
yet  in  our  military  history  met,  unaided,  a  first-class  power  pre- 
pared for  war.  In  the  Revolutionary  War  we  met  such  a  power, 
it  is  true,  but  we  did  not  fight  that  war  unaided  and  we  received 
at  a  most  critical  stage  of  the  war  the  invaluable  assistance  of 
France  [applause],  an  assistance  which  every  soldier  knows 
was  of  inestimable  value  in  bringing  the  war  to  a  successful 
termination.  In  1812  we  met  the  same  country  prepared  for 
war,  but  extensively  occupied  with  more  important  wars  on  the 
Continent.  We  were  at  that  time  a  comparatively  unimportant 
issue.  In  that  war  we  put  some  527,000  men  into  the  field. 
The  largest  regular  British  force  opposed  to  us  at  any  one 
time  on  this  continent  numbered  some  16,800  men.  Our  forces 
were  defeated  in  every  land  battle  except  Lundy's  Lane  and 
New  Orleans,  the  latter  fought  after  the  conclusion  of  the  war. 
At  sea  we  had  to  our  credit  a  list  of  splendid  actions  between 
individual  ships,  but  at  the  end  of  the  war  we  had  hardly  a 
fighting  ship  afloat  which  was  not  under  blockade.  Our  coast- 
wise commerce  had  been  largely  destroyed  or  abandoned,  and 
the  commerce  of  the  enemy  had  been  greatly  increased. 

The  Mexican  War  we  fought  against  an  enemy  less  strong 
and  less  prepared  even  than  ourselves.  The  war,  as  a  whole, 
was  well  conducted,  and  our  success  was  pronounced.  Our 
enemy,  however,  was  not  at  that  time  a  great  power  or  in  any 
way  equal  to  us  in  resources. 

These  were  our  three  wars  with  foreign  powers. 

In  the  Civil  War  we  fought  an  enemy  as  unprepared  as 
ourselves.  Both  sides  learned  the  art  of  war  together,  and  in 
both  armies  were  found  as  good,  if  not  the  best,  soldiers  the 
world  has  ever  seen,  but  it  took  years  to  do  it  and  the  unnecessary 
sacrifice  of  thousands  of  valuable  lives. 

In  those  times  when  no  nation  had  a  thoroughly  prepared 


110  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

and  equipped  standing  array,  ready  for  instant  service,  there 
was  more  or  less  chance  to  prepare  for  war,  and  wars  were  usually 
preceded  by  considerable  periods  of  preparation,  but  in  these 
days,  when  oceans,  instead  of  being  barriers,  are,  for  those 
countries  which  possess  sea  control  a  convenient  and  ready  means 
of  transporting  troops,  and  when  most  of  the  countries  with 
which  we  come  in  conflict  have  large  and  well  organized  armies 
ready  to  move  at  once,  it  behooves  us  to  make  reasonable  prep- 
arations for  war;  and  while  we  realize  that  in  this  country  it 
is  not  possible  to  maintain  a  large  army,  we  should  foster  the 
military  spirit — I  don't  mean  a  quarrelsome,  braggadocio  spirit, 
but  the  true  military  spirit.  We  should  impress  upon  the  youth 
of  this  country  that  they  have  an  obligation  to  fulfill;  that  it 
is  to  prepare  themselves  to  perform  efficiently  the  duties  of  a 
soldier  in  time  of  war.  We  should  take  advantage  of  the  oppor- 
tunity offered  by  the  public  schools  to  instruct  in  its  use  all 
boys  old  enough  to  handle  a  rifle.  All  public  schools  should 
maintain  a  military  organization,  not  only  for  the  purpose  of 
instructing  the  boys  in  the  use  of  the  rifle  and  bayonet,  but  as 
a  means  of  physical  training  and  mental  and  physical  discipline. 
There  is  an  excellent  bill  now  before  Congress  for  the  establish- 
ment of  rifle  shooting  in  the  public  schools.  It  is  hoped  that 
this  bill  may  become  a  law,  for  the  knowledge  of  the  use  of  the 
rifle  is  rapidly  passing  away.  Sixty  or  seventy  years  ago  most 
of  our  people  used  firearms.  To-day  few  people  use  them,  and 
you  would  be  surprised  to  know  how  small  a  proportion  of  our 
recruits  know  anything  about  the  use  of  arms.  And  we  have 
unconsciously  drifted  away  from  all  military  exercises  and  prac- 
tices, and  have  been  content  to  say,  **We  have  always  come  out 
all  right.  We  can  lick  anybody  that  comes  along."  We  may 
win  out  in  war,  but  it  will  be  at  a  tremendous  cost  unless  we 
make  preparation  and  involve  the  needless  sacrifice  of  thousands 
of  lives.  This  preparation  should  include,  as  I  have  stated,  the 
instruction  of  all  our  boys  in  the  use  of  the  rifle  and  the  bayonet, 
and  the  simple  military  exercises  and  in  the  maintenance  of  our 
army,  not  as  a  police  force,  but  as  a  training  school  for  the 
largest  possible  number  of  men.    We  should  reduce  our  enlist- 


THE  ARMY  111 

ment  period  to  the  shortest  consistent  with  thorough  instruction. 
Thorough  instruction  can  be  given,  as  is  seen  all  over  Europe, 
in  between  one  and  two  years,  provided  the  army  is  so  organized 
and  assembled  as  to  be  freed  from  the  police  and  other  duties 
incident  to  maintaining  many  different  posts  with  extensive 
grounds,  roads  and  walks.  Few  changes  could  be  more  disastrous 
to  our  military  service  than  lengthening  the  period  of  enlistment 
and  consequently  reducing  the  number  of  men  under  instruc- 
tion. Rather  than  lengthen  the  period  of  enlistment  it  would 
be  well  for  us  to  consider  what  has  already  been  done  in  foreign 
countries;  namely,  the  enlistment  for  shorter  periods  than  the 
regular  enlistment  of  men  who  have  certain  educational  qualifi- 
cations; graduates  from  the  higher  schools  and  universities,  for 
instance.  If  we  could  give  these  men  even  a  year  of  service  and 
return  them  to  civil  occupations  they  would  be  a  valuable  asset 
in  time  of  war.  We  do  not  want  to  keep  men  so  long  with  the 
colors  that  their  return  to  civil  life  is  impracticable.  Our  policy 
should  be,  not  to  have  the  same  men  under  instruction  indefi- 
nitely; but  to  instruct  as  many  different  men  as  possible  and 
return  them  to  civil  life,  the  better  for  their  military  training, 
with  a  greater  respect  for  authority  and  the  flag,  and  a  higher 
sense  of  their  responsibilities  as  citizens. 

A  number  of  people  have  spoken  about  the  mobilization  down 
in  Texas,  and  have  said,  with  much  satisfaction,  **You  see  we  are 
prepared  for  war;"  and  have  shown  a  great  deal  of  surprise, 
if  not  incredulity,  when  informed  that,  while  the  mobilization 
of  10,000  regular  troops  is  a  very  simple  thing,  or  of  all  our 
regular  establishment,  the  mobilization  of  from  450,000  to 
600,000  troops,  most  of  them  militia  and  volunteers,  which  would 
be  necessary  in  actual  war,  would  be  a  very  difficult  proceeding 
and  would  require,  in  our  present  state  of  preparation,  several 
months.  We  are  trying  to  prepare  as  thoroughly  as  we  can  for 
the  day  of  trouble  which  we  know  is  coming,  just  when  no  one 
can  tell,  but  with  our  greatly  increased  sphere  of  influence,  the 
possibility  of  conflict  has  been  greately  increased.  I  hope  and 
feel  sure  that  people  of  your  kind  will  back  the  army  in  its 
efforts  to  prepare  the  militia  for  service  in  case  it  should  be 


112  AFTERrDINNBR  SPEECHES 

called  upon,  and  to  create  a  wholesome  public  opinion  on  mili- 
tary matters,  which  will  combat  the  emasculating  type  of  senti- 
ment which  we  hear  so  much  of  to-day  to  the  effect  that  all 
instruction  which  tends  to  make  boys  soldiers,  or  to  build  up 
the  military  spirit,  should  be  eliminated  from  our  public  schools. 
For,  heaven  knows,  if  any  race  of  men  loses  the  fighting  spirit 
when  vital  questions  are  involved  and  cannot  be  otherwise  set- 
tled, such  a  condition  marks  the  beginning  of  decadence.  We 
talk  about  the  great  cost  of  armaments.  We  spend  on  our  army 
and  navy  proper  perhaps  two  hundred  million  dollars  per  year, 
but  we  carry  under  the  heads  of  army  and  navy  many  charges 
which  do  not  directly  belong  to  the  army  and  navy,  which  are 
hardly  preparations  for  war.  You  don 't  hear  a  word  said  about 
the  scores  of  millions  of  dollars  dropped  every  year  by  tourists 
in  Europe,  or  the  two  hundred  and  seventy-five  million  dollars 
which  are  sent  out  of  the  country  to  Europe  to  maintain  families 
over  there  or  to  bring  them  over  here.  And  you  don't  hear,  in 
talking  about  armament,  that  every  bit  of  the  money  is  spent 
in  this  country ;  that  we  buy  little  or  nothing  for  our  armament 
abroad ;  that  it  is  all  work  for  Americans  of  all  classes ;  that  the 
coal,  the  iron  and  steel,  the  materials  which  go  into  the  arma- 
ment, are  all  practically  made  in  this  country.  And  that  the 
money  is  spent  in  this  country  and  goes  into  the  pockets  of  our 
own  people  and  is  all  part  of  the  economic  system.  You  hear 
nothing  of  that ;  you  hear  only  of  the  cost  of  the  armament.  The 
cost  of  armaments  is  considerable;  but  if  you  take  the  great 
countries  of  Europe  to-day  you  will  find  that  armaments  and 
preparedness  for  war  have  been  coincident  with  the  increase  of 
wealth,  with  the  continuance  of  peace  and  with  marked  develop- 
ments in  the  arts  and  sciences.  Europe  has  never  known  so  long 
a  peace  as  the  peace  which  has  existed  among  the  great  powers 
in  recent  years,  and  we  all  know  that  without  thorough  prepared- 
ness for  war  that  peace,  which  has  meant  so  much  for  Europe, 
would  have  been  impossible. 

In  America  we  ought  to  take  a  sensible  view  of  the  situation. 
We  should  support  a  policy  of  general  military  instruction  in 
our  public  schools,  that  is,  instruction  in  the  use  of  arms,  espe- 


THE  ARMY  113 

cially  the  rifle,  and  in  the  elements  of  military  training.  We 
should  encourage  the  militia  and  insist  upon  its  being  placed 
upon  the  highest  plane  of  efficiency.  Our  boys  should  be  encour- 
aged to  go  into  the  militia.  We  should  make  every  possible 
effort  to  eliminate  politics  from  this  service,  for,  under  the 
present  law,  we  must  take  the  militia  as  organized  as  a  part 
of  the  first  line  in  the  time  of  war,  and  it  would  be  criminal  to 
send  the  thousands  of  young  men  in  this  service  into  battle  under 
uninstructed  officers.  The  public  should  give  the  regular  army 
the  heartiest  support.  It  is  the  principal  military  training 
school  of  the  people.  From  its  officers  come  the  principal 
instructors  of  the  militia.  The  greater  number  of  men  within 
reason  that  we  can  give  a  short  period  of  military  service  the 
better.  That  is  to  say  the  more  men  we  can  bring  into  the 
military  service  for  a  sufficient  period  of  time  to  teach  them 
the  use  of  the  rifle  and  the  essentials  of  the  soldier's  profession, 
the  better  prepared  we  shall  be  for  war.  It  is  with  this  end  in 
view  that  we  desire  the  continuance  of  short  enlistments  in  the 
army  and  in  the  militia,  and  wish  to  turn  the  men  back  into 
civil  life  feeling  sure  that  they  will  come  to  the  colors  in  case 
of  war.  We  know  that,  in  Germany  and  France,  military  train- 
ing has  resulted  in  no  economic  loss ;  it  has,  in  fact,  resulted  not 
only  in  increased  economic  efficiency,  but  it  has  resulted  in  mak- 
ing those  who  have  had  service  not  only  better  citizens  but  it 
has  made  them  more  efficient  and  dependable  in  public  service. 
A  man  who  has  had  good  military  training  obeys  and  respects 
the  flag  and  laws  of  his  country  to  a  greater  extent  than  he 
who  has  not.  His  value  as  a  workman  is  fully  20  per  cent, 
greater  than  before  his  military  training.  He  is  better  physically 
and  mentally,  better  disciplined,  has  more  respect  for  authority, 
and  carries  out  more  promptly  and  more  exactly  the  instructions 
of  his  superiors.  The  main  thing  to  be  remembered  is,  that  this 
service  should  be  as  short  as  consistent  with  efficiency,  and  should 
include  as  many  men  as  possible. 

It  is  not  our  policy  to  build  up  militarism,  but  it  is  a  wise 
policy  to  foster  a  proper  military  spirit  and  by  all  means  in  our 
power  to  build  up  a  reasonably  efficient  and  thoroughly  equipped 


114  AFTERrDINNER  SPEECHES 

military  establishment,  which  must  include  not  only  the  regular 
army  and  militia,  but  a  thoroughly  trained  and  organized 
reserve,  made  up  of  men  who  have  served  one  or  more  enlist- 
ments in  these  services.  For,  as  much  as  we  may  desire  peace 
and  hope  for  arbitration,  there  will  always  be  some  matters 
which  cannot  be  arbitrated  and  in  the  settlement  of  which  wars 
will  arise.  To  fail  to  recognize  this  is  to  court  disaster. 
[Applause.] 


THE  DAY  WE  CELEBRATE. 

James  M.  Beck. 

At  the  banquet  of  the  General  Society  of  Sons  of  the  Revolution, 
held  at  the  New  Willard  Hotel,  Washington,  on  April  19,  1911,  the 
anniversary  of  the  Battle  of  Lexington,  during  the  triennial  meeting 
of  the  Society,  the  Honorable  James  M.  Beck,  a  leader  of  the  New 
York  bar  and  special  Deputy  United  States  Attorney  General  under 
McKInley  to  prosecute  the  Government  suit  In  the  Northern  Securities 
case,  responded  to  the  toast.  The  Day  We  Celebrate. 

Mr.  President-General,  Your  Excellency,  Ladies  and  Gentle- 
men: I  do  not  know  whether  you  will  regard  it  as  a  direful 
warning  or  as  a  pleasant  reassurance  when  I  tell  you  that  I 
am  not  here  with  a  prepared  speech.  This  is  not  due  to  any 
lack  of  appreciation  on  my  part  of  the  dignity  of  the  occasion 
or  the  especial  interest  of  the  toast  to  which  the  Society  has 
done  me  the  honor  to  assign  me.  It  is  rather  due  to  a  growing 
dislike  on  my  part  of  serious  after-dinner  speaking,  for  reasons 
to  which  I  will  refer.  Even  if  I  were  disposed  to  speak  at  any 
length,  I  should  feel  to-night  in  the  position  of  Cordelia  who, 
when  invited  to  make  the  last  of  three  after-dinner  addresses 
before  her  father  Lear,  the  favors  being  an  equal  portion  of  his 
kingdom,  found  that  her  sisters,  Goneril  and  Regan,  who  from 
militant  qualities  were  perhaps  the  original  Daughters  of  the 
Revolution  [laughter]  had  anticipated  all  that  poor  Cordelia 
could  say,  and  therefore  at  the  risk  of  losing  the  portion  which 
the  indulgent  father  sought  to  give  her,  could  say  "nothing." 

I  shall  not  even  have  the  self-satisfaction  of  the  Puritan 
ancestor,  from  whom  I  derive  my  privilege  to  be  a  member  of 
the  Sons  of  the  Revolution.  He  was  an  austere  and  unbending 
Puritan  deacon,  and,  besides  his  other  qualities,  had  the  ability 
to  deliver  on  occasion  a  very  lengthy  prayer  in  the  meeting  house. 
On  one  occasion  he  was  delivering  one  of  these  lengthy  precatory 
exhortations  and  had  concluded  it  and  said  **Amen"  to  the  very 

115 


116  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

great  relief  of  all  those  in  the  meeting  house.  Suddenly  he  was 
seen  to  arise  again  and  say,  "My  brethren,  I  have  a  very  sor- 
rowful confession  to  make."  Nobody  knew  what  was  coming, 
and  everybody  waited  to  see  what  this  stern  old  Puritan  was 
about  to  confess.  Then  he  said,  **My  sisters  and  brethren,  when 
I  concluded  that  prayer  Satan  whispered  in  my  ear,  *Eliakim, 
that  was  a  good  prayer.'  And,  I  believed  him."  [Laughter.] 
Now,  I  can  not  lay  that  flattering  unction  to  my  soul  to-night, 
for  reasons  that  will  presently  appear. 

First  I  must  comment  upon  a  remarkable  omission.  Neither 
on  the  part  of  the  experienced  toastmaster,  the  head  of  our 
Society ;  nor  on  the  part  of  the  distinguished  Ambassador  from 
France,  the  representative  of  the  most  gallant  and  courtly  people 
on  the  face  of  the  earth,  [applause]  nor  from  the  Major-General 
[General  Wood]  of  our  army,  from  whom  at  least  it  ought  to 
have  been  expected,  nor  from  my  very  handsome  and  eloquent 
friend  upon  the  left,  Mr.  Hackett,  was  there  the  slightest  allusion 
to  that  parterre  of  loveliness  upon  my  left  [referring  to  the 
ladies  present.]  [Applause.]  Either  we  Sons  of  the  Revolution 
are  hopelessly  blind  or  we  are  in  gallantry  degenerate  sons  of 
worthy  and  always  gallant  sires.  Certain  it  is,  that  in  drinking 
to  the  memory  of  George  Washington  we  should  remember  that 
he  did  not  fail  to  pay  a  tribute  to  those  women  of  the  Revolu- 
tion who  not  only  clothed  his  Continentals,  but  wove  the  very 
colors  for  which  those  ragged  Continentals  so  bravely  died. 
[Applause.] 

I  recall  that  to  Esther  Reed,  the  head  of  the  Philadelphia 
Women's  Committee  which  sought  to  send  clothes  to  Valley 
Forge  for  the  army,  Washington  wrote  substantially  as  follows : 
"The  army  ought  not  to  regret  its  sacrifices  or  its  sufferings 
when  they  meet  with  so  flattering  a  reward  as  in  the  sympathy 
of  your  sex,  nor  can  it  fear  that  its  interests  will  be  neglected, 
when  espoused  by  advocates  as  powerful  as  they  are  amiable." 
[Applause.] 

But,  to  hark  back  to  what  I  started  to  say  when  I  tried  to 
make  amends  for  the  neglect  of  the  preceding  speakers,  it  seems 
to  me  there  is  a  striking  contrast  between  the  dinner  customs 


THE  DAY  WE  CELEBRATE  117 

of  the  present  Sons  of  the  Revolution  and  those  forebears  whose 
patriotic  achievements  given  a  raison  d'etre  for  our  organization. 
So  far  as  my  reading  goes,  after-dinner  speaking  as  we  know  it 
now  was  unknown  at  the  end  of  the  eighteenth  century.  I  do 
not  doubt  that  our  forefathers  after  discreetly  dismissing  the 
ladies  to  the  drawing  room,  proceeded  at  once  to  drink  the  toast 
to  the  King;  and  then  to  the  ladies;  and  these  may  have  been 
the  occasion  of  some  short  informal  remarks,  but  the  set  speech 
on  serious  topics  was  at  least  unusual.  Our  forefathers  preferred 
to  see  how  quickly  and  expeditiously  they  could  drink  each  other 
under  the  table. 

We  take  these  occasions  more  seriously  and  generally  turn 
away  the  current  of  the  gastric  juices,  by  a  series  of  speeches 
upon  topics  some  of  which  are  more  or  less  alien  to  the  joyful 
character  of  a  public  dinner.  I  have  in  mind  dinners  in  New 
York  when  I  have  suffered  martyrdom,  when,  for  illustration, 
the  necessity  of  a  central  bank  was  discussed  for  one  hour  after 
dinner. 

Can  you  imagine,  for  example,  the  great  men  who  met  in  the 
** Mermaid"  in  the  days  of  Queen  Elizabeth — days  so  quick  in 
wit  and  intellectual  brilliancy  that  Beaumont  could  write,  in 
substance ; 

"Oh,  what  things  have  we  seen  at  the  Mermaid, 
Heard  words  so  nimble  and  so  full  of  subtle  flame, 
That  it  seemed  everyone  from  whence  it  came, 
Had  meant  to  press  his  whole  life  in  a  single  jest 
And  then  resolved  to  live  a  fool  the  rest 
Of  his  dull  life." 

Can  you  imagine  "rare  Ben  Jonson'*  arising,  and  solemnly 
saying:  **We  have  with  us  to-night  a  young  gentleman  who  has 
come  down  from  the  country  so  recently  that  the  straw  is  hardly 
out  of  his  chin  beard — I  believe  he  has  written  some  sugared 
sonnets  and  some  entertaining  plays.  It  gives  me  pleasure  to 
introduce  Mr.  William  Shakespeare,  who  will  speak  upon  the 
elevation  of  the  stage."    [Applause  and  laughter.] 

Or,  can  you  imagine  that  other,  the  later  but  not  greater 
Johnson — Sam  Johnson — at  those  other  great  gatherings  in  the 


U8  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

"Mitre,"  rising  and  saying:  "We  are  now  finished  with  our 
dinner,  and  the  post-prandial  exercises  will  be  begun.  Mr.  Burke 
will  read  a  paper  on  the  necessity  of  a  central  bank.  Mr.  Garrick 
will  speak  upon  the  influence  of  Shakespeare  upon  our  stage. 
Sir  Joshua  Reynolds  will  speak  upon  Ancient  and  Modern  Arts. ' ' 
I  think  most  of  the  spirit  and  character  of  those  rare  occa- 
sions would  have  gone  with  the  development  of  after-dinner 
speaking  as  we  have  it  to-day.  When  the  time  for  after-dinner 
speaking  comes  I  always  remember  those  lines  of  Gay.  I  think 
they  were  written  in  the  "Beggar's  Opera,"  if  I  am  not  greatly 
mistaken : 

"So  comes  the  reckoning  when  the  banquet's  o'er, 
A  dreadful  reckoning,  when  men  smile  no  more." 

[Applause.] 

I  am  asked  to  speak  to-night  to  the  toast,  "The  Day  We 
Celebrate."  And  here  again  I  am  handicapped  because  I  cannot 
employ  the  rhetorical  expedients  which  Mr.  Edward  Everett 
did  on  one  of  the  anniversaries  of  Lexington  and  Concord.  I 
remember  once  asking  the  late  Senator  Hoar  whether  the  story 
was  true  as  I  had  originally  heard  it  from  Doctor  William  H. 
Furness.  He  told  me  it  was  true.  The  story  was  that  Edward 
Everett,  having  to  deliver  a  formal  oration  on  the  battle  of 
Lexington  and  Concord,  before  the  time  for  delivering  the 
oration  asked  whether  there  were  any  survivors  of  the  battle  in 
the  neighborhood,  and  he  was  told  that  somewhere  in  the  rural 
districts  there  happened  to  be  two  nonagenarians  who  had  been 
among  the  embattled  farmers.  He  sought  them  and  then  said, 
"I  want  you  to  come  to  the  exercises,  and  when  I  reach  a  cer- 
tain apostrophe  to  the  survivors  of  the  battle,  I  want  you  to 
arise. ' '  And  they  said  they  would.  When  he  came  to  that  part 
in  his  address,  and  swelling  with  all  the  glory  of  his  oratory, 
said :  ' '  And  you  survivors  of  Lexington  and  Concord, '  *  the  two 
gentlemen  arose  upon  their  cue.  And  then  he  said  to  them, 
"Venerable  sirs,  be  seated;  it  is  I  that  should  stand  in  your 
presence."  [Laughter.]  After  the  speaking  was  over  one  of 
these  survivorr  of  the  battle  turned  to  the  other  and  said,  "I 


THE  DAY  WE  CELEBRATE  119 

don't  know  what  was  the  matter  with  Squire  Everett,  first  he 
told  us  to  stand  up  and  then  he  told  us  to  sit  down."  [Laughter.] 

Speaking  seriously,  there  is  a  value  in  recalling  the  epic 
achievements  of  Lexington  and  Concord.  We  are  reminded  of 
that  beautiful  spring  morning  when,  just  as  the  sun  was  casting 
its  first  shadows  across  the  sward  at  Lexington,  Pitcairn's  red- 
coated  grenadiers  approached  that  little  band  under  Captain 
Parker  and  ordered  them  to  disperse.  Captain  Parker  said,  as 
you  will  recall,  before  Pitcairn's  men  came  in  sight,  "If  this  war 
is  to  begin,  it  might  just  as  well  begin  here  and  now."  As  a 
matter  of  fact,  the  incident  itself  was  one  of  superb  and  yet 
seeming  fatuous  folly,  for  there  was  no  question  at  all  that  the 
minute  men,  small  in  number  and  insufficient  to  cope  with  so 
powerful  an  adversary,  could  not  stand  their  ground,  and  it 
seemed  a  needless  effusion  of  blood ;  for,  with  the  first  firing  of 
Pitcairn's  guns  a  few  men  fell  to  the  sod,  the  Continentals  dis- 
persed and  the  battle  of  Lexington  was  over. 

That  which  gives  to  this  seemingly  useless  sacrifice  of  life  its 
epic  beauty  is  the  fact  that  it  was  a  deliberate  act  of  martyrdom 
on  the  part  of  brave  men.  [Applause.]  They  could  not  have 
hoped  for  the  slightest  success,  as  the  world  measures  success. 
They  could  not  have  imagined  even  faintly  the  illimitable  possi- 
bilities that  would  flow  from  that  first  shot  for  American  inde- 
pendence. They  stood  their  ground  against  a  superior  foe  with 
knowledge  that  some  of  them  would  be  killed,  and  that  appar- 
ently the  martyrdom  would  lead  to  very  little  if  any  practical 
results;  and  it  is  that  which  gives  to  that  greensward  of  Lex- 
ington the  sacred  character  attributed  by  Byron  to  the  Castle 
of  Chillon  when  he  said : 

"Thy  prison  Is  a  holy  place 
And  thy  sad  floor  an  altar, 

For  'twas  trod  by  him  whose  very  footsteps  left  a  trace 
Worn  as  if  the  cold  pavement  were  a  sod,  by  Bonivard. 
Let  none  those  marks  efface,  for  they  appeal 
From  tyranny  to  God." 

[Applause.] 

Standing  by  itself,  the  incident  was  only  one  of  a  thousand 


120  AFTERrDINNER  SPEECHES 

similar  incidents  in  history — incidents  happening  almost  every 
day  somewhere  in  the  civilized  world,  where  two  armed  forces 
meet  and  without  declaration  of  war  and  without  any  of  the 
conventionalities  of  an  armed  conflict,  there  is  a  clash,  a  flash  of 
human  passion  and  some  men  fall  to  the  ground.  To  me  the 
most  significant  thing  about  Lexington  and  Concord  is  not  what 
took  place  then,  but  what  preceded  and  succeeded  the  first  shot 
of  the  embattled  farmers.  One  of  the  most  surprising  things 
in  the  history  of  the  world  happened,  for  before  the  following 
Saturday  night  in  that  little,  sparsely  settled  country,  sixteen 
thousand  men  were  mobilized  and  commenced  the  siege  of  Boston. 

Major-General  "Wood  referred  to  the  fact  that  the  War 
Department  had  been  complimented  for  the  facility  with  which 
it,  with  all  the  marvelous  facilities  which  have  revolutionized  the 
art  of  war,  the  facilities  of  the  steamship  and  the  railroad  and 
the  telegraph  and  the  superb  and  magnificent  organization,  put 
so  great  a  number  of  men  upon  the  banks  of  the  Rio  Grande 
within  a  few  weeks — and  yet  these  men  of  1774,  without  steam- 
ship, railroad  or  telegraph,  with  no  other  means  of  intelligence 
than  post-riders,  without  any  ability  whatever  to  have  a  common 
or  central  organization,  unless  the  committees  of  correspondence 
should  be  so  called,  these  men,  farmers  leaving  their  plows  at 
the  first  word  of  the  post-rider  as  he  sped  along  the  road,  so 
well  mobilized  their  forces  that,  as  I  have  said  before,  within 
less  than  one  week,  by  the  following  Saturday  night,  sixteen 
thousand  men  from  the  farms  of  New  England  were  in  front  of 
Boston  and  besieging  the  armed  force  of  General  Gage. 
[Applause.]  The  swift  uprising  of  the  brave  Tyrolese  is  not 
more  heroic  or  wonderful. 

Up  to  that  time  it  was  common  talk  in  the  London  coffee 
houses  that  we  were  a  poor-spirited,  weak,  cowardly,  infirm  and 
incapable  people  who  could  not  possibly  defend  ourselves;  who, 
as  I  think  one  illustrious  statesman  said,  were  only  lions  as  long 
as  our  English  cousins  were  lambs  and  who  would  flee  inconti- 
nently upon  the  first  appearance  of  the  bayonet  of  the  red- 
coated  regulars.  But,  from  the  time  that  those  sixteen  thousand 
men  came  so  swiftly  at  the  call  of  their  country  in  front  of  the 


THE  DAY  WE  CELEBRATE  121 

gates  of  Boston,  not  only  was  there  a  nation  which  needed  no 
formal  declaration  to  make  it  a  nation,  but  from  that  day  to 
this  there  has  never  been  a  nation  in  all  this  world  that  has 
assumed  that  it  could  attack  the  United  States  of  America  with 
impunity.     [Applause.] 

Whether  or  not  we  have  a  large  standing  army ;  the  resource- 
fulness of  the  American  people,  their  ability  to  act  in  concert 
and  to  act  effectively,  was  demonstrated  in  that  week  in  April  in 
a  way  that  has  never  since  admitted  of  any  serious  question. 

But  far  more  remarkable  to  me,  and  I  have  never  heard  it 
commented  upon,  was  what  preceded ;  because  on  the  part  of  an 
individual  as  well  as  a  nation,  an  act  of  self-restraint  is  infinitely 
greater  than  an  act  of  aggression.  The  man  who,  like  Horatio, 
in  ' '  Hamlet, ' '  has  the  superb  poise  that  Hamlet  so  much  admired 
in  Horatio,  who  can  restrain  himself  and  during  gusts  of  popular 
passion  respect  the  laws  of  his  country  and  the  rights  of  others, 
is  greater  than  he  who  takes  a  city. 

For  seven  months  preceding  Lexington,  Boston  had  been 
under  martial  law,  its  trade  had  been  cut  off  from  all  parts  of 
the  world ;  its  governors  had  been  ousted,  or  at  least  superseded, 
and  their  places  taken  by  English  generals.  Their  popular 
leaders  were  removed  or  threatened  to  be  removed  to  England 
for  trial.  And  before  this  little  city  of  Boston,  with  streets  little 
more  than  cow-paths,  a  relatively  great  army  of  red-coats  was 
quartered,  and  yet  in  these  seven  months  there  never  was  the 
slightest  destruction  of  property,  or  any  effusion  of  blood,  either 
on  the  part  of  the  red-coats  or  the  patriots.  That  is  to  me  a 
remarkable  thing.  You  cannot  imagine  the  same  conditions 
prevailing  in  South  Africa  or  anywhere  else,  where  the  peace 
and  good  order  could  have  been  both  preserved  in  a  small  locality 
with  so  much  provocation,  with  such  stability. 

And  what  is  more  remarkable,  right  after  the  Boston  mas- 
mascre,  which  occurred  at  an  earlier  period  when  the  British 
soldiers  in  obedience  to  military  discipline  had  shot  down  some 
of  the  people  in  the  streets  during  a  riot,  a  trial  was  had,  and — 
who  defended  them?  The  leaders  of  the  popular  party,  as  I 
recall  it,  John  Adams  and  Josiah  Quincy,  two  leaders  of  the 


122  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

American  cause — who  had  so  profound  a  respect  for  the  admin- 
istration of  justice  in  the  civil  courts  that  they  tendered  their 
services  to  those  who  were  regarded  as  the  enemies  of  the  popular 
cause,  and,  what  is  more,  a  Boston  jury  acquitted  the  soldiers 
who  had  fired  the  shots  upon  the  people  of  Boston — a  magnificent 
demonstration  of  the  supremacy  of  law  and  of  the  self-restraint 
of  an  Anglo-Saxon  community.  I  remember  the  Attorney- 
General  of  England  (Sir  Robert  Finley),  speaking  to  the  entire 
bar  of  England,  at  a  banquet  to  the  American  bar  in  the  Middle 
Temple,  said  that  of  all  the  things  that  impressed  him  most  was 
that  splendid  respect  of  the  Colonials  for  what  was  simply  a 
soldier's  duty  when  that  jury  had  sufficient  sense  of  fair  play 
to  bring  in  a  verdict  that  must  have  been  in  the  teeth  of  popular 
prejudice. 

Moreover,  General  Gage  had  threatened,  during  those  seven 
months,  that  if  any  more  attempts  were  made  to  hold  popular 
gatherings,  he  would  arrest  the  leaders  and  take  them  to  England 
for  trial.  What  was  the  result?  Joseph  "Warren  volunteered 
to  speak  in  the  Old  South  Church.  And  they  say  the  church  was 
so  crowded  that  although  among  the  audience  were  some  of 
General  Gage's  officers,  and  some  of  them  actually  stood  on  the 
steps  leading  up  to  the  rostrum  of  the  speaker,  yet  so  absolute 
was  the  respect  on  the  part  of  the  British  grenadiers  and  upon 
the  part  of  the  patriots  in  Boston  for  law  and  order,  that  the 
meeting  went  on  without  the  slightest  interruption,  and  neither 
then  nor  subsequently  was  the  peace  of  the  community  broken, 
until  that  historic  morning,  the  day  we  celebrate,  when  Pit- 
cairn's  men  tried  to  seize  the  war  treasury  at  Lexington  and 
the  contest  took  place  on  the  greensward. 

I  honor  a  soldier  and  have  due  admiration  for  that  fidelity 
to  duty  which  is  willing  to  lay  down  the  supreme  sacrifice  of  life. 
With  due  appreciation  of  that  fact,  to  me  the  self-restraint  of 
the  colonists,  and  of  the  British  grenadiers,  was  the  finest  kind 
of  a  demonstration  of  moral  vindication  of  that  which  is  basic 
in  our  Society,  of  that,  without  which  our  constitution  were 
mere  paper,  without  which  our  republican  institutions  could 


THE  DAY  WE  CELEBRATE  123 

never  endure,  namely,  a  profound  respect  for  the  supremacy 
of  law. 

Still  finer  expression  of  the  same  spirit  can  be  found  in  what 
has  never  been  appreciated  in  its  true  spirit.  What  was  the 
Declaration  of  Independence?  It  was  not  the  formal  severance 
between  England  and  the  United  States.  On  the  two  preceding 
days,  July  2nd,  the  resolution  had  already  been  passed  that 
declared  that  we  were  a  free  and  independent  and  sovereign 
nation.  The  Declaration  of  Independence  had  for  its  sublime 
purpose — and  it  is  this  consideration  that  makes  it,  in  my  judg- 
ment, the  noblest  state  paper  in  human  history — it  had  the 
sublime  purpose  expressed  in  its  noble  preamble :  *  *  When  in  the 
course  of  human  events  it  becomes  necessary  for  one  nation  to 
dissolve  the  political  bonds  that  unite  it  to  another,  a  decent 
respect  to  the  opinions  of  mandkind  requires" — mark  the  word — 
"that  they  should  declare  the  causes  that  impel  them  to  the 
separation. ' ' 

In  other  words,  in  an  age  in  which  might  was  supposed  to  be 
right,  in  which  war  was  conducted  in  a  manner  little  removed 
from  the  lines  of  Alaric  and  Attila  in  which  every  successful  war 
was  ended  by  the  wholesale  spoliation  of  art  galleries  and  insti- 
tutions of  learning ;  when  war  was  declared  without  provocation, 
often  without  any  declaration,  and  was  pursued  in  the  most 
heartless  and  inhuman  way ;  in  that  time  of  all  times,  when  there 
seemed  to  be  no  conscience  of  mankind  to  which  any  appeal 
could  be  made,  these  simple  farmers  and  settlers  of  the  New 
World,  in  the  same  fine  spirit  that  had  sought  to  avoid  the 
effusion  of  blood  for  seven  months  prior  to  Lexington,  in  effect 
said:  "We  have  separated  from  England,  but  a  decent  regard 
to  the  opinions  of  mankind  requires  that  we  should  declare  the 
causes  that  impel  us — that  is,  morally  justify  us — ^to  the  separa- 
tion."    [Applause.] 

In  other  words,  there  was  the  assertion  of  a  conscience  of 
mankind  which  rose  higher  than  national  interests  or  national 
prestige.  It  was  the  assertion  that  humanity  was  something  bet- 
ter than  nationality ;  that  a  noble  spirit  of  cosmopolitanism  was 
something  better  than  an  exaggerated  patriotism;  that  there 


124  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

could  and  ought  to  be  in  every  controversy  between  nations  an 
appeal  to  that  sovereign  conscience  of  mankind  in  the  hope  that 
that  conscience  might  some  day  be  so  developed  that  it  would 
dispassionately  vindicate  that  which  is  right  and  condemn  that 
which  is  wrong. 

In  this  spirit  this  great  country  was  founded. 

His  Excellency,  the  French  Ambassador,  has  said — and  it 
never  occurred  to  me  with  the  same  force  before — that  it  was  no 
selfish  interest  in  France  which  impelled  its  intervention,  but 
that  France  must  have  been  touched  by  this  appeal  to  the  con- 
science and  it  was  for  that  reason  that  it  sent  us  its  generous 
and  noble  Lafayette,  its  knightly  Rochambeau,  and  the  brave  rank 
and  file — the  unknown  men  whom  we  commemorated  with  our 
shaft  but  yesterday — who  so  many  years  ago  joined  that  ghostly 
army,  of  which  the  Abbe  Perreyoe  wrote :  * '  Unseen  by  the  cor- 
poreal eyes,  but  too  clearly  visible  to  the  mind's  eye  •  •  * 
the  great  army  of  the  dead,  the  army  of  the  slain,  the  aban- 
doned, the  forgotten,  the  army  of  cruel  tortures  and  prolonged 
infirmities,  which  pursues  its  fatal  march  behind  what  we  call 
glory." 

Something  has  been  said  to-night  by  Major-General  Wood, 
that  to  some  extent  has  prompted  the  line  of  thought  that  I 
have  adopted,  with  regard  to  the  limitations  of  arbitration.  It 
seems  to  me  that  international  arbitration  must  be  accepted  by 
every  rational  man  as  one  of  the  appointed  means  whereby  the 
conscience  of  mankind  can  be  vindicated  in  some  effective  and 
practical  way.  And  yet  I  believe  it  is  true,  as  he  has  indicated, 
that  a  treaty  of  arbitration,  no  matter  how  sweeping  and  unre- 
stricted it  may  be,  unless  there  is  behind  it  a  spirit  of  concilia- 
tion on  the  part  of  each  contracting  party  and  a  sincere  disposi- 
tion to  be  absolutely  just  and  fair  on  every  question  that  may 
arise,  is  futile.  Because  it  is  with  an  arbitration  treaty  precisely 
as  it  is  with  a  paper  constitution :  It  is  good  so  long  as  there  is 
a  law-abiding  spirit  to  breathe  the  breath  of  life  into  it;  other- 
wise an  arbitration  agreement  is  mere  red  tape  and  parchment 
when  made  between  two  nations  between  which  there  may  be 
hereditary  antipathies  based  on  racial  antagonism,  or  conflicts 


THE  DAY  WE  CELEBRATE  125 

or  vast  and  historic  interests,  which  cannot  be  destroyed  in  a 
day,  a  week,  a  year,  or  a  century.  But  certainly  if  we  are  to 
entertain  a  hope  that  the  bow  of  promise  will  one  day  be  seen, 
it  will  come  not  because  of  any  too  implicit  faith  in  arbitration 
agreements  which,  in  their  unrestricted  terms,  may  not  be  all 
that  either  contracting  party  can  possibly  mean — because  it 
cannot  be  that  any  and  every  question  can  possibly  admit  of 
arbitration  between  two  great  peoples — I  say  it  could  come, 
not  by  the  mere  machinery  of  arbitration,  but  by  slow  and 
steady  development  of  that  great  conscience  of  mankind  to 
which  the  Declaration  of  Independence  made  its  sublime  and 
noble  appeal — a  conscience  of  mankind  never  greater  in  the 
past  history  of  the  world  than  it  is  to-day;  a  conscience  of 
mankind  that  gives  us  some  grounds  for  hope  that  although 
the  historic  movements  of  races,  like  the  great  glacier  in  the 
valley  of  Chamouni,  cannot  be  stayed  by  merely  human  forces, 
yet  these  glacier-like  forces  may  be  stayed  by  an  invisible 
hand  and  dissolve  from  destructive  ice  into  refreshing  and 
fructifying  streams.  And,  therefore,  let  us  not  hope  that  every 
American  boy  will  so  develop  the  martial  spirit  as  to  wish 
to  arm  and  slay,  but  that  there  may  grow  in  the  heart  of 
every  American  boy  a  feeling  that,  while  he  will  not  submit, 
as  part  of  his  country,  to  any  intentional  and  deliberate  wrong, 
yet  that  he  is  a  part  of  that  great  humanity  whose  interests  are 
higher  than  any  nation,  and  that  his  country,  as  every  other 
country,  should  appeal,  as  the  great  Declaration  did,  to  the 
Supreme  Judge  of  all  the  world  for  the  righteousness  of  its 
intentions.     [Applause.] 


CHANGES  OF  FORTY  YEARS  IN  AMERICA. 

James  Bryce. 
Remarks  by  A.  Barton  Hepburn. 

At  the  one  hundred  and  forty-third  anniversary  banquet  of  the  New 
York  Chamber  of  Commerce,  November  sixteenth,  1911,  at  the  Waldorf- 
Astoria,  the  president  of  the  Chamber,  Mr.  A.  Barton  Hepburn,  made 
the  following  preliminary  address:  We  live  in  an  age  of  marked 
transition,  and  let  us  hope  that  the  transition  is  in  the  direction  of 
progress.  It  is  the  era  of  the  man,  the  individual,  his  wants,  his 
interests,  his  welfare,  as  related  to  productive  industry  and  the  Gov- 
ernment. The  spirit  of  individualism  is  equally  militant  In  the  field 
of  commerce  and  in  the  arena  of  politics,  and  the  strike  and  the  vote 
are  the  tangible  weapons  which  supplement  appeal.  [Applause.]  Eng- 
land, so  long  looked  upon  as  the  bulwark  of  conservatism,  has  proxi- 
mately reduced  the  legislative  power  of  her  government  to  a  single 
chamber.  No  republic  has  gone  so  far  in  the  line  of  democracy,  gone 
so  far  toward  giving  immediate  legislative  effect  to  popular  sentiment 
as  monarchical  England.  She  has  passed  an  old  age  pension  law, 
whereby,  without  any  contribution  on  the  part  of  the  recipients,  people 
of  certain  age  and  financial  need  become  pensioners  of  the  nation. 
The  same  spirit  which  seeks  to  influence  governmental  action  is  assert- 
ing itself  in  industrial  administration  the  world  over.  It  demands 
that  business  enterprise  be  conducted  in  the  interest  of  the  general 
public  with  fairness,  with  uniformity  and  without  discrimination. 
[Applause.]  To  this  end  governmental  control  and  regulation  have 
been  invoked  and  have  come,  and  have  come  to  stay.  The  underlying 
purpose  is  altruistic  and  right,  and  instead  of  opposition  it  would 
seem  to  be  our  duty  as  well  as  our  interest  to  aid  the  Government 
In  order  to  insure  a  maximum  efl&ciency  with  minimum  interference. 
The  policy  of  our  Government  as  to  corporations  is  to  compel  the  large 
ones,  commonly  called  "trusts,"  to  resolve  themselves  Into  their  con- 
stituent small  ones,  and  to  prevent  the  buying  by  one  concern  of  a 
competing  business,  thereby  preventing  large  aggregations  of  capital 
under  single  management,  and  thereby  preventing  monopoly,  and  all 
this  in  order  to  restore  and  compel  competition — the  panacea,  the 
crux  of  our  governmental  policy  is  competition.  Other  nations  ap- 
proach the  same  problem  in  a  different  way  and  seek  the  solution  In 
another  manner.     After  the  so-called  "trusts"  are  resolved  into  the 

126 


CHANGES  OF  FORTY  YEARS        127 

separate  corporations  composing  them,  it  remains  to  be  seen  whether 
the  public  will  receive  as  good  a  service  at  as  fair  a  price;  it  remains 
to  be  seen  whether  these  segregated  corporations  will  continue  to 
contribute  as  largely  annually  to  our  international  trade  balance. 
The  German  government  permits  the  formation  of  price  pools,  resulting 
in  what  we  call  "trusts,"  and  then  controls  them.  In  the  recent  potash 
controversy  the  German  government  compelled  all  mines  to  enter  into 
a  pool  restricting  the  output  and  fixing  the  price.  As  a  matter  of 
fact,  the  price  was  advanced  $12  per  ton  beyond  what  an  independent 
mine  had  contracted  to  sell  for,  covering  a  period  of  years,  to  an 
American  concern.  Even  the  legislative  department  of  the  Govern- 
ment was  appealed  to,  and  the  Reichstag  passed  a  law,  the  effect  of 
which  was  to  impose  a  penalty  tax  upon  all  potash  mined  and  exported 
under  this  contract,  beyond  a  certain  percentage.  By  legislative  enact- 
ment the  advantage  of  this  contract  was  destroyed,  and  the  parties 
In  interest,  backed  by  our  own  Government,  were  powerless  to  pre- 
v^ent.  Germany  does  not  prevent  the  consolidation  of  business,  nor 
the  co-operation  of  separate  concerns  as  to  their  management,  nor 
Indeed  does  Great  Britain.  In  Canada,  the  enterprising  successful 
builders  of  the  Canadian  Northern  Railway,  a  transcontinental  system, 
William  Mackenzie  and  Donald  Mann,  are  now  Sir  William  and  Sir 
Donald.  William  Van  Horn,  at  the  head  of  the  Canadian  Pacific  Rail- 
way, is  Sir  William.  Donald  Smith,  one  of  the  great  men  of  Canada, 
a  builder  of  railways  and  a  promoter  of  commerce,  became  Sir  Donald, 
and  is  now  Lord  Strathcona.  In  other  countries  the  successful  build- 
ers and  managers  of  industrial  enterprises  are  knighted,  with  us  they 
are  indicted.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  The  expansion  and  develop- 
ment of  German  trade  and  commerce  under  their  national  policy  have 
been  phenomenal.  Contrast  the  growth  of  her  shipping  with  the 
diminution  of  ours. 

In  1792  a  law  was  passed  denying  American  registry  to  vessels 
built  abroad.  That  law  stands  to-day,  modified  so  as  to  admit  the 
Importation  of  pleasure  yachts.  The  importation  of  commercial  ves- 
sels has  been  prohibited  for  119  years — prohibition  is  the  limit  of 
protection.  Now  mark  the  result:  In  1792  over  88  per  cent  of  our 
foreign  commerce  was  carried  in  our  own  bottoms  and  under  our 
own  flag;  in  1910  it  was  less  than  9  per  cent.  In  1851  it  was  72  per 
cent,  and  showed  a  steady  decrease  for  the  balance  of  the  19th  cen- 
tury. Is  It  not  about  time  that  law  was  repealed  and  our  people 
allowed  to  purchase  vessels  where  they  can  buy  them  cheapest?  Has 
not  this  119  years  of  extreme  protection  proven  a  failure?  [Applause.] 
Since  it  costs  40  per  cent,  more  to  build  vessels  at  home  than  to  buy 
them  abroad,  is  it  any  wonder  that  our  merchant  marine  has  van- 
ished from  the  sea?  Great  Britain,  Germany,  Canada  and  other  nations 


128  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

are  building  vessels  and  planning  routes  with  the  avowed  purpose  of 
utilizing  the  Panama  Canal  when  finished.  Are  our  commercial  inter- 
ests making  any  such  preparations?  How,  under  existing  laws,  could 
they  hope  profitably  to  compete?  An  enormous  sum  of  money  is  being 
expended  upon  the  Panama  Canal,  for  which  people  are  being  taxed. 
It  is  to  be  hoped  that  the  tolls  collected  will  prove  remunerative,  for 
it  is  diflBcult  to  see  what  great  advantage  will  accrue  to  commerce 
under  the  American  flag  if  existing  laws  continue.     [Applause.] 

In  introducing  the  British  Ambassador,  Mr.  Hepburn  said:  How- 
ever restrictive  our  laws  as  to  material  things  may  be,  we  open  our 
arms  wide  to  receive  the  great  men  of  other  nations.  The  gentleman 
who  will  first  address  you  is  accredited  to  our  Government  as  the 
Ambassador  of  Great  Britain.  Years  ago  he  was  fully  accredited  to 
the  hearts  of  the  American  people.  [Applause.]  He  made  a  study  of 
our  commonwealth,  and  his  analyses  and  his  criticisms  proved  of  the 
greatest  value,  predicated,  as  they  were,  upon  facts  and  seasoned  with 
justice.  He  enabled  us  to  "see  ourselves  as  others  see  us,"  who  are 
keenly  interested  in  our  progress  and  our  welfare.  The  extreme 
courtesy  and  kindness  of  the  distinguished  gentleman  enable  us  this 
evening  to  see  recent  events  from  the  vantage  point  of  his  trained 
observation  and  study,  illuminated  by  his  wide  experience  and  great 
ability.  The  toast,  "The  Changes  of  Forty  Years  in  America,"  will  be 
responded  to  by  His  Excellency,  Right  Honorable  James  Bryce,  British 
Ambassador. 

Mr.  President,  Your  Excellency  the  Governor,  Your  Worship 
the  Mayor,  Ladies  and  Gentlemen:  I  thank  you  most  heartily 
for  your  grateful  courtesy  in  toasting  my  Sovereign  and  in  sing- 
ing a  stanza  of  our  national  anthem.  I  assure  you  that  when  I 
receive,  as  I  often  do,  and  as  the  Englishmen  who  are  present 
on  these  occasions,  as  I  know  they  often  do,  such  marks  of  good 
will  and  friendly  sentiment  on  your  part,  they  are  not  only  a 
gratification  to  ourselves,  but  they  are  taken  as  a  pledge  o^ 
friendship  by  the  people  of  our  country. 

I  have  to  thank  you,  Mr.  President,  for  your  kind  references 
to  myself  and  the  members  of  this  Chamber  for  the  courtesy 
which  I  have  always  received  from  them.  From  the  day  when 
they  were  good  enough  to  give  me  a  special  reception  on  the 
occasion  of  my  first  arrival  in  this  country  as  a  representative  of 
Great  Britain,  it  has  been  always  a  pleasure  to  me  to  meet  you 
here.     It  has  usually  been  a  further  pleasure  to  me,  on  the 


CHANGES  OF  FORTY  YEARS        129 

occasions  when  I  have  met  you,  to  be  able  to  say  that  the  con- 
dition of  Europe  and  of  the  world  was  one  of  peace  which  prom- 
ised to  endure.  That  cannot  be  said  this  year ;  and  I  am  obliged 
to  admit  that  in  this  year  we  have  had  more  than  our  usual 
share  of  troubles.  If  we  were  living  five  hundred  years  ago,  or 
if  the  beliefs  of  five  hundred  years  ago  still  existed,  there  would 
be  a  very  simple  explanation  for  all  the  troubles  that  have 
simultaneously  descended  upon  many  different  parts  of  the  earth. 
It  would  be  found  in  the  conjunction,  the  worst  conjunction  I 
believe,  according  to  astrologers,  that  could  possibly  occur, — 
the  conjunction  of  the  planets  of  Mars  and  Saturn.  [Laughter.] 
Those  of  you  who  are  in  the  habit  of  studying  the  evening  sky 
may  remember  that  these  two  planets  were  very  close  to  one 
another  in  the  end  of  August,  so  close  that  they  would  have 
seemed  in  primitive  ages  to  be  likely  to  come  into  collision  in  the 
heavens.  "Who  can  venture  to  deny  that  extraordinary  conjunc- 
tion in  the  heavens  might  be  expected,  according  to  the  ancient 
astrojogers,  to  be  followed  by  remarkable  troubles  on  earth  ?  So 
this  year  we  have  had  troubles  almost  everywhere,  even  in  what 
men  used  to  call  *'the  unchangeable  East,"  a  thoughtless  expres- 
sion, because  as  a  matter  of  fact  no  part  of  the  world  has  been 
changing  more  within  the  last  forty  years  than  the  East.  I  can 
assure  you,  though  indeed  you  need  no  such  assurance,  that 
your  government  and  the  government  of  Great  Britain  are  cor- 
dially agreed  in  their  disinterested  desire  and  wish  that  the 
troubles  which  have  lately  descended  upon  China  may  soon  come 
to  a  peaceful  end ;  and  that  that  great  and  industrious  nation,  to 
which  I  am  sure  we  all  wish  well,  should  be  able  again  to  resume 
the  course  of  progress  and  enlightenment  upon  which  she  seemed 
to  be  entering.     [Applause.] 

We  are,  you  and  I,  perfectly  disinterested  in  our  good  will 
for  China,  and  we  hope  that  these  struggles,  on  such  an  unex- 
pectedly alarming  scale,  may  soon  be  at  an  end.  I  am  glad  to 
say  that  there  was  one  part  of  the  world,  where  a  year  ago 
armed  conflicts  were  feared  and  where  they  have  been  averted. 
I  mean  South  America.  This  time  a  year  ago  I  was  in  South 
America,  and  I  may  perhaps  be  permitted  to  aay  to  you,  as 


130  AFTERrDINNER  SPEECHES 

New  Yorkers,  what  a  pleasure  it  gave  me  to  find  that  over  South 
America  the  people  entertain  the  warmest  sentiments  of  affection 
for  your  distinguished  senior  United  States  Senator,  Mr.  Root — 
[applause] — ^who  had  made  an  extended  tour  through  South 
America  about  five  years  ago  and  who  had  left  everywhere  the 
most  agreeable  recollections  of  his  personality. 

Well,  gentlemen,  I  can  congratulate  you  in  this  country  that 
you  have  had  less  of  these  troubles  which  have  been  worrying 
the  world  than  any  other  great  nation.  You,  at  any  rate,  have 
been  left  entirely  free  to  occupy  yourselves  with  your  own  domes- 
tic problems.  [Laughter.]  You  have  got  plenty  of  them.  I 
perceive  that  several  of  the  speakers  that  are  to  follow  me  are 
going  to  deal  with  some  of  them,  and  there  was  a  little  fore- 
taste given  in  the  remarks  which  fell  from  you,  Mr.  President, 
as  to  certain  current  questions.  Now,  upon  all  these  current 
questions  and  domestic  problems  of  yours  I  cannot  say  a  word. 
The  present  is  not  for  me ;  I  am  strictly  warned  off  from  it.  I 
must,  therefore,  confine  myself  entirely  to  the  past,  and  I  will 
venture  to  offer  to  you  a  few  recollections  bearing  upon  the 
contrast  which  I  see  now  between  the  United  States,  as  they  are, 
and  the  United  States  as  they  were  when  I  first  knew  them ;  and 
I  will  venture,  after  these  recollections,  to  make  two  or  three 
reflections  which  are  suggested  by  them. 

I  remember  hearing  an  anecdote,  Mr.  President,  of  an  old 
beadle,  as  we  call  him  in  Scotland,  who  was  attached  to  a 
Scottish  church,  and  who  had  been  in  the  habit  for  forty  years 
of  hearing  the  discourses,  the  very  logical  and  argumentative  dis- 
courses, which,  according  to  old  custom,  the  Scottish  clergy  of  for- 
mer times  used  to  deliver.  The  minister  asked  the  old  beadle  one 
day,  "John,  mon,"  said  he,  "John,  mon,  don't  ye  think  after 
hearing  so  many  discourses  from  me  you  could  now  preach  a 
sermon  yourself?"  To  this  the  old  man  replied,  "Well,  Minis- 
ter, I  winna  say  that  I  could  just  like  preach  a  sermon,  but  I 
think  I  could  draw  an  inference."     [Laughter.] 

Now,  perhaps  I  may  try  to  draw  an  inference.  At  any  rate, 
I  feel  pretty  safe  in  venturing  to  talk  about  the  past.  When  I 
was  in  public  life  in  England  I  formed  two  rules  of  conduct — 


CHANGES  OF  FORTY  YEARS        131 

two  maxims.  The  first  was  that  you  ought  never  to  refer  to 
the  mistakes  of  your  own  party.  [Laughter.]  Not  because  you 
are  to  be  a  blind  partisan,  not  because  you  do  not  see  the  faults 
of  your  own  party,  but  in  the  interest  of  economy  of  effort, 
because  it  is  perfectly  certain  that  the  other  party  will  refer 
to  them  [laughter] ,  and  also  in  the  interest  of  a  higher  efficiency, 
because  it  is  perfectly  certain  that  the  other  party  will  deal 
with  them  more  forcibly. 

The  second  maxim  was  this,  that  you  are  always  safe  in 
dwelling  upon  the  faults  and  follies  of  the  past — especially  the 
distant  past — because,  even  if  they  cannot  excuse  them,  they  can 
at  any  rate  palliate  one 's  own  faults  and  follies.  We  can  always 
speak  quite  freely  about  those  who  have  gone  before,  and  if  they 
make  grave  mistakes ;  so  much  the  less  heinous  will  those  appear 
which  we  in  our  turn  make. 

This  thought  emboldens  me  to  say  a  few  words  to  you  about 
what  I  recollect  of  the  difficulties  the  people  of  the  United  States 
had  in  the  past.  I  came  here  first  in  the  year  1870.  The  War 
of  Secession  was  then  only  five  years  over,  the  South  was  still 
in  a  very  troublous  and  distracted  condition,  and  the  chief  prob- 
lem that  occupied  your  minds,  the  chief  source  of  danger  and 
difficulty  that  you  saw  rising  before  you,  was  connected  with  the 
conditions  of  that  section  of  the  country.  Large  parts  of  it  were 
then  occupied  by  Federal  troops.  There  was  a  great  deal  of 
Unrest  and  disturbance  as  well  as  a  great  deal  of  maladministra- 
tion and  financial  waste  in  some  states.  The  prospect  was  full  of 
anxiety.  But  within  twenty  years  all  that  completely  passed 
away,  and  now  the  South  has  been  steadily  growing  in  prosperity 
and  in  wealth,  and  is  united  to  you  in  the  North  by  a  tie  so  close 
and  by  a  friendship  so  true  that  never  at  any  previous  period  of 
your  history  was  the  nation  so  entirely  one  as  it  is  now. 
[Applause.] 

There  was  another  problem  to  the  significance  of  which  you 
had  only  just  begun  to  awaken,  and  that  was  the  government  of 
your  cities.  In  the  year  1870  this  city  was  governed  by  a  group 
of  men  headed  by  Mr.  "William  Marcy  Tweed,  of  whom,  since 
they  have  all  departed  from  this  world,  nothing  need  be  said  now 


182  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

except  that  they  were  not  deemed  to  be  men  of  specially  fastidious 
honor.  [Laughter.]  They  were  applying  a  large  part  of  the 
city  revenues  to  purposes  which  were  not  public  purposes. 
[Laughter.]  In  the  year  1871  you  woke  up  to  that  state  of 
things,  and  you  began  a  series  of  efforts  at  reform ;  and  you  were 
in  that  a  pioneer  to  other  cities,  there  being  many  other  cities 
which  were  in  very  nearly  the  same  plight  in  which  New  York 
then  lay,  so  that  now,  at  the  end  of  forty  years,  if  the  govern- 
ments of  all  the  cities  in  the  United  States  are  not  yet  perfect, 
still  every  one  will  admit  that  in  pretty  nearly  every  city  and 
especially  and  most  conspicuously  in  the  City  of  New  York,  now 
far  vaster  than  it  was  then,  there  has  been  a  steady  progress. 
Your  administration  is  not  only  more  upright  and  honest,  but  it 
is  far  more  scientific  and  businesslike  than  it  ever  was  before. 
[Applause.] 

And  yet,  gentlemen,  no  one  can  deny  that  you  see  clouds  in 
your  sky,  that  there  is  a  disquiet  among  you,  just  as  there  is  a 
disquiet  everywhere  in  the  world.  The  golden  age  apparently 
is  not  going  to  come  in  our  time.  There  is  a  strife  between  labor 
and  capital,  a  phenomenon  which  is  sometimes  acute  here, 
although  probably  not  so  acute  as  it  is  in  most  of  the  great 
countries  of  Europe.  There  are  those  questions  to  which  you, 
Mr.  President,  have  just  referred,  the  questions  of  the  relation 
of  business  to  government,  the  relations  of  law  to  corporations 
and  combinations  of  capital,  difficulties  which  arise  very  much 
less  in  Europe,  and  which  in  fact  in  Great  Britain  hardly  arise 
at  all.  We  find  no  serious  difficulties  in  regulating  railroads 
or  any  other  corporations,  and  though  there  is  no  denying  that 
they  constitute  an  important  problem  for  you  here,  still  it  cannot 
be  an  insoluble  one. 

Why  is  it  that  these  questions  which  did  not  exist  as  prob- 
lems in  1870 — ^nobody  then  talked  about  strikes  as  a  danger, 
nobody  then  talked  about  organizations  of  labor  as  a  danger, 
nobody  then  thought  that  large  corporations  or  combinations  of 
capital  constituted  any  menace  to  the  community, — ^why  is  it 
that  they  have  arisen  and  now  seem  to  throw  heavy  shadows 
across  your  sky  ? 


CHANGES  OF  FORTY  YEARS        133 

While  I  must,  of  course,  abstain  from  any  discussion  which 
could  involve  the  expression  of  any  opinion  upon  any  contro- 
verted question,  I  may  say  that  there  never  was  a  country  in 
which  economic  conditions  changing  on  so  gigantic  a  scale  as  they 
have  in  the  United  States,  were  more  certain  to  raise  new  issues. 
Your  population  has  more  than  doubled  within  the  last  forty 
years,  but  your  wealth,  your  exports,  and  that  which  is  a  good 
test  of  these  things,  your  transportation  facilities,  have  more  than 
doubled,  they  have  quadrupled,  within  the  last  forty  years. 

The  exports  of  the  United  States,  which  in  1870  were  valued 
at  three  hundred  and  ninety-two  millions  of  dollars,  are  valued 
now  at  one  thousand  seven  hundred  and  forty-four  millions  of 
dollars.  The  estimated  wealth  which  was  then  reckoned  at  thirty 
thousand  millions  of  dollars  is  reckoned  now  at  one  hundred  and 
twenty-seven  thousand  million  of  dollars.  The  miles  of  railroad 
that  you  had  then  were  53,000  as  against  244,000  now.  By  all 
these  tests  your  wealth  and  prosperity  have  quadrupled  within 
those  forty  years,  a  thing  that  has  never  happened  to  any  other 
country  in  the  world.  You  have  seen  the  growing  up  of  enor- 
mous fortunes — ^there  were  hardly  any  in  1870 — ^you  have  seen 
the  creation  of  labor  organizations.  In  such  changes  it  is  inev- 
itable that  new  problems  should  emerge.  There  is  nothing  to 
surprise  us  in  that,  and  I  venture  to  submit  that  there  is  nothing 
to  discourage  us.  Where  these  prodigious  economic  changes  have 
come,  and  where  this  unexampled  wealth  and  prosperity  have 
flown  in  upon  you  in  such  an  abundant  stream,  there  difficulties 
must  be  expected  comparable  to  the  causes  which  produced  them. 
Now,  may  I  venture  to  say  that  it  sometimes  occurs  to  me  when 
I  think  of  the  way  in  which  we  in  England  meet  our  difficulties, 
and  the  way  in  which  you  here  meet  your  difficulties,  that,  per- 
haps, the  fault  that  belongs  to  us  in  common,  may  perhaps  be  not 
the  fault  of  thinking  too  much  of  ourselves,  but  that  of  excessive 
modesty  and  self  distrust.  We  are  not  generally  credited,  either 
you  or  we,  with  being  particularly  modest  nations.  We  are 
supposed  to  have  a  good  opinion  of  ourselves  based  upon  our 
past  achievements,  but  really  when  one  sees  the  amount  of 
anxiety  which  is  created  both  in  England  and  here  by  the 


134  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

emergence  of  these  new  problems  which  the  progress  of  wealth 
and  prosperity  and  power  brings  with  it,  may  not  our  fault  be 
that  we  have  not  sufficient  confidence  in  ourselves,  and  that  we 
do  not  sufficiently  realize  the  strength  of  our  national  character 
and  the  intellectual  and  moral  force  which  has  carried  us 
through  all  the  troubles  we  have  met  in  the  past,  and  to  which 
we  ought  to  trust  to  carry  us  through  similar  troubles  in  the 
future  ?  How  was  it  that  you  overcame  those  difficulties,  to  which 
I  have  referred,  which  confronted  you  in  1870?  That  is  the 
inference  I  am  now  going  to  draw. 

You  had  a  most  difficult  problem  in  the  South ;  a  problem  that 
was  enough  to  perplex  the  most  ingenious  mind  and  to  tax  the 
calmest  temper.  But  you  overcame  it  by  patience,  by  temperance, 
by  faith  in  the  principles  of  your  government.  You  saw  that 
the  best  thing  was  to  leave  the  South  alone  and  to  trust  to  the 
action  of  natural  forces,  to  treat  the  South  as  a  sister  going 
ultimately  to  return  into  friendship ;  and  the  result  has  justified 
your  policy. 

When  you  had  the  problem  of  city  government  to  deal  with 
you  did  not  sit  down  supinely,  but  you  made  effort  after  effort 
to  see  how  governmental  conditions  might  be  improved,  how 
good  citizens  could  be  induced  not  to  submit  themselves  entirely 
to  the  dominance  of  party  spirit  in  municipal  elections.  The 
result  has  been  that  over  the  whole  of  the  Union  now  conditions 
are  better  and  good  citizens  are  more  active,  and  the  methods 
of  government  are  improving.  Altogether  the  future  is  far 
brighter  in  municipal  and  state  government  than  I  think  it  has 
ever  been  before.  The  same  is  true  of  Civil  Service  Reform. 
Good  citizens  despaired  of  it  in  1870.  See  what  progress  it  has 
made  since  1883  when  the  Pendleton  Act  was  passed,  [Applause.] 
These  things  were  achieved  by  faith  in  yourselves  and  faith  in 
the  spirit  of  your  institutions. 

There  is  a  saying,  attributed  to  Philip  II.  of  Spain,  that  he 
and  time  were  a  match  for  any  two  others.  Now,  gentlemen,  I 
certainly  should  not  venture  to  cite  Philip  II.  of  Spain  as  a 
wise  monarch,  to  whose  opinion  great  weight  ought  to  be  attached, 
because  if  ever  there  was  a  king  who  did  as  much  mischief  as 


CHANGES  OF  FORTY  YEARS        135 

it  was  possible  in  his  day  and  generation,  and  who  contributed 
very  largely  to  the  declension  of  his  country,  and  to  those  grievous 
misfortunes  for  which  they  suffered  for  three  centuries  after- 
wards, it  was  that  misguided  king.  But  there  was  a  truth  in 
the  statement  about  time.  Time  is  an  important  factor  in  human 
affairs,  but  only  when  it  is  used  in  order  to  give  full  play  to 
reason. 

It  is  not  time  alone  that  makes  things  better.  It  is  only 
because  time  gives  a  chance  for  patience,  and  thought  and 
experience  to  work  out  solutions  of  difficulties.  The  value  of  time 
is,  that  if  men  would  only  be  patient,  if  they  would  only  restrain 
their  passions,  if  they  would  only  set  their  minds  to  think  ques- 
tions out  and  to  discover  the  best  means  of  dealing  with  them,  if 
they  would  only  keep  a  cool  head  and  not  be  betrayed  by  sudden 
emotion  into  foolish  or  violent  action,  they  would  always  be 
certain  in  the  long  run  to  come  out  right.  That  was  the  way  in 
which  the  constitutional  difficulties  that  we  have  had  at  one  time 
or  another  to  grapple  with  in  England  were  solved,  and  that  was 
the  way  in  which  you  succeeded  in  setting  yourselves  right  after 
the  Civil  War  and  in  bringing  the  South  into  the  happier  state 
in  which  she  is  now. 

There  is  an  old  maxim  of  some  famous  Latin  writer  that  the 
greatness  of  a  nation  is  preserved  by  the  same  methods  by  which 
it  has  been  won.  That  is  to  say,  a  nation  that  has  become  great 
will  find  itself  safe  in  adhering  to  the  principles  and  policy  by 
which  it  grew  to  be  great.  You  and  our  ancestors  and  your 
ancestors,  when  they  lived  together  in  the  old  country,  as  mem- 
bers of  an  undivided  English  people,  and  our  people,  since  the 
division,  and  your  people  since  the  division,  have  been  guided 
by  two  principles — ^the  principle  of  liberty  and  the  principle  of 
order.  And  the  reason  why  we  have  succeeded  more  than  most 
countries  in  becoming  both  great  and  free  is  because  we  have 
always  adhered  to  the  conjunction  of  these  two  principles  of  lib- 
erty and  order.  Our  safety,  gentlemen,  and  the  way  out  of  all 
our  difficulties,  seems  to  me  to  lie  in  adhering  to  those  principles ; 
not  to  abandon  any  of  our  faith  in  individual  freedom,  in  the 
self-reliance  which  belongs  to  men  of  our  race,  in  the  opening 


136  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

of  the  freest  and  widest  field  for  individual  action  and  initiative, 
but  at  the  same  time,  to  hold  fast  to  the  severe  and  strict  repres- 
sion of  any  resort  to  force  and  violence  in  the  enforcement 
everywhere  of  the  authority  of  the  law.  These  are  the  principles 
by  which  you  and  we  grew  up  great,  and  these  are  the  prin- 
ciples by  which  every  free  government  ought  to  be  guided.  You 
amongst  all  the  nations  of  the  earth  are  the  least  liable  to  suffer 
from  the  shock  of  jarring  interests  of  different  classes;  least 
liable  because  you  have  between  the  capitalists  on  the  one  side 
and  the  wage  earners  on  the  other,  a  large  class  of  intelligent 
voters  who  are  able  and  intelligent  enough  to  hold  the  balance 
fairly — give  them  time — between  the  interests  of  the  capitalists 
and  the  interests  of  the  wage  earners,  and  to  recognize  that  the 
interests  of  all  classes  are  in  the  last  analysis  interwoven  with 
one  another,  and  that  which  is  an  injury  to  one  is  an  injustice 
and  an  injury  to  all.     [Applause.] 

No  great  European  country  is  so  happily  situated  as  you  are 
in  having  this  great  and  impartial  body  of  voters.  Popular 
government  is  always  on  its  trial.  Every  form  of  government  is 
always  on  its  trial.  And  you  here  in  the  United  States  are  try- 
ing all  those  experiments  which  belong  to  popular  government  on 
the  greatest  scale,  and  more  in  the  eyes  of  the  world  than  any 
other  country,  because  the  world  feels  that  the  experiment  that 
you  try  here,  with  your  gigantic  population  and  your  certainty 
of  wonderful  further  expansion  is  an  experiment  tried  for  the 
world,  and  an  experiment  of  incomparable  significance  for  the 
world's  future.  You  have  done  more  than  any  other  people  has 
ever  done  to  give  to  the  ordinary  voter  education,  comfort,  and 
the  fullest  chance  of  rising  in  the  world  and  making  the  most  of 
his  life,  and  you  will  continue  to  render  an  inestimable  service  to 
the  world  and  to  free  government  everywhere,  if  you  can  prove 
that  the  ordinary  voter,  to  whom  you  have  entrusted  political 
power,  will  approve  himself  to  be  zealous  and  upright  and  a 
capable  citizen,  who  understands  as  the  fathers  of  this  republic 
understood,  that  peace  and  prosperity  are  the  children  not  of 
freedom  alone,  but  of  freedom  and  order  conjoined.  [Prolonged 
applause.] 


FRANKNESS  AND  FRIENDLINESS  BETWEEN  ENGLAND 
AND  AMERICA. 

Walter  Hines  Page. 

The  London  Times  of  June  7,  1913,  expressed  itself  editorially,  in 
part,  as  follows:  "An  unusually  distinguished  company  met  last  night 
under  the  auspices  of  the  Pilgrim's  Society  to  greet  the  new  American 
Ambassador,  Mr.  Walter  H.  Page.  There  have  been  many  such  gath- 
erings on  similar  occasions  in  the  past.  They  have  become,  indeed,  a 
custom  of  British  public  life,  and  a  custom  the  full  meaning  of  which 
is  to  be  found  in  its  singularity.  Nothing  like  it  exists  anywhere  else. 
No  Ambassador  to  this  or  any  other  nation  is  similarly  honored.  For 
the  representative  of  a  foreign  power  to  be  feted  on  his  recall  in  the 
capital  of  the  State  to  which  he  is  accredited  is  common  enough. 
But  for  the  representative  of  a  foreign  Power  to  be  hailed  with  wel- 
coming words  almost  at  the  moment  of  his  arrival,  when  he  has  barely 
had  time  to  present  his  credentials,  and  before  he  has  given  any  token 
either  of  his  personality  or  of  his  diplomatic  policy,  this  is  an  expe- 
rience which,  alone  among  the  diplomatists  of  the  world,  is  enjoyed 
by  the  American  Ambassador  to  the  Court  of  St.  James.  It  is  in- 
tended to  be,  we  need  hardly  say,  precisely  what  it  is,  a  unique  com- 
pliment, a  recognition  on  our  part  that  Great  Britain  and  the  United 
States  stand  to  one  another  in  a  special  relationship,  and  that  be- 
tween them  some  departure  from  the  merely  official  attitude  is  of  all 
things  the  most  natural.  The  presence  and  speeches  last  night  of  such 
men  as  Lord  Roberts  and  Sir  Edward  Grey  were  meant  to  convince 
Mr.  Page  that  the  welcome  extended  to  him,  however  local  in  form, 
is  national  in  the  feeling  behind  it,  and  that  it  would  be  against  the 
grain  of  British  instinct  if  no  distinction  were  to  be  drawn  between 
the  American  and  other  Ambassadors.  Mr.  Page  very  happily  seized 
and  responded  to  the  spirit  of  the  occasion.  In  a  speech  of  equal 
modesty  and  humor,  and  refreshingly  free  from  the  'clawless  kitten' 
style  of  most  Ambassadorial  oratory,  he  touched  frankly  and  feelingly 
on  the  common  interests  of  Great  Britain  and  the  United  States  in 
the  solution  of  common  problems,  and  particularly  on  the  many-sided 
appeal  which  his  new  mission  and  its  opportunities  for  studying  our 
ways  and  institutions  and  experiments  make  to  him  'as  a  working 
member  of  the  great  English-speaking  democracy.'  Both  in  Mr.  Page's 
speech  and  in  the  words  in  which  his  accomplished  countryman,  Mr. 

137 


138  AFTERrDINNER  SPEECHES 

Price  Collier,  proposed  the  toast  of  the  coming  Peace  Centenary — the 
celebrations  of  which  will  be  a  pleasant  incident  of  the  new  Ambas- 
sador's tenure — Anglo-American  relations  and  the  bonds  that  unite 
the  two  peoples  were  handled  as  every  man  of  sense  would  like  them 
always  to  be  handled,  without  any  labored  sentimentality  and  in  a 
spirit  of  critical  sympathy  and  mutual  respect.  *  *  *  The  literary 
traditions  and  associations  which  mark  out  the  American  Embassy  in 
London  from  all  other  Embassies  in  all  other  capitals  will  assuredly 
lose  none  of  their  brightness  under  Mr.  Page's  care."  Lord  Roberts 
presided  at  the  dinner,  which  was  held  in  the  Savoy  Hotel,  and  Sir 
Edward  Grey,  Foreign  Secretary,  proposed  the  toast,  "Our  Guest." 
In  part.  Sir  Edward  said:  But  although,  as  I  say,  every  cause  has  two 
sides,  in  the  majority  of  cases  it  happens  that  we  both  want  to  put 
the  same  side,  and  of  this  I  should  like  to  assure  Mr.  Page  that  if — 
as  I  suppose  will  be  the  case,  seeing  that  his  Government  has  taken 
an  Initiative  of  its  own  in  the  matter — if  he  comes  to  us  with  pro- 
posals arising  from  the  desire  of  his  Government  to  find  some  way  of 
making  more  remote  the  appeal  to  blind  force  between  nations  he 
will  find  in  this  country  and  from  the  British  Government  a  ready 
response.  [Cheers.]  Of  all  great  Powers  in  the  world  the  United 
States  is  most  fortunately  placed  for  taking  such  an  initiative.  It  is 
beyond  the  reach  of  menace  or  aggression  from  any  neighbor  in  the 
American  continent.  The  idea  of  menace  or  aggression  on  land  towards 
the  United  States  is  both  physically  impossible  and  intellectually 
unthinkable.  And  on  either  side  they  enjoy  the  protection  not  of  a 
channel  but  of  an  ocean.  [Laughter.]  And,  after  all,  with  all  those 
natural  advantages  they  have  also,  we  know,  the  capacity  and  re- 
sources if  they  desired  it,  to  create  both  military  and  naval  force 
greater  than  anything  the  world  has  ever  seen.  Now  if,  from  such 
a  quarter,  peace  proposals  come  they  come  beyond  the  suspicion  of 
having  been  inspired  by  any  feeling  of  pusillanimity,  by  any  national 
necessity,  or  by  any  desire  to  secure  an  advantage  in  disarming  or 
placing  at  a  disadvantage  any  other  nation  who  can  injure  them.  In 
other  words,  if  there  are  to  be  proposals  to  make  war  between  other 
nations  more  remote,  it  is  from  the  United  States  most  certainly  that 
these  proposals  could  be  made  in  the  world  at  large  with  full  dignity 
and  with  a  good  faith  which  is  beyond  suspicion.  [Cheers.]  As  to 
the  relations  between  the  two  countries  and  the  two  nations,  we  rely 
not  on  treaties,  not  on  the  diplomatic  skill  of  governments,  but  we 
rely  upon  right  and  good  feeling.  [Cheers.]  It  is  good  feeling  that 
dictates  the  articles  and  the  speeches  and  decides  public  opinion.  Mr. 
Page  has  had  so  much  more  experience  than  I  have  in  forming  public 
opinion  that  I  speak  with  hesitation  in  his  presence;  but  I  do  not 
think,  especially  perhaps  in  these  days,  when  everything  is  speeded  up, 


FRANKNESS  AND  FRIENDLINESS  139 

when  we  have  to  write  and  speak  perhaps  more  and  more  with  less 
and  less  time  for  thought,  it  is  more  and  more  essential  that  things 
should  be  got  not  into  men's  heads  but  into  their  feelings.  Right 
thinking  is  of  comparatively  little  use  as  public  opinion  unless  it 
arises  from  right  feeling.  It  is  not  men's  heads,  but  it  is  their  hearts 
which  decide  public  opinion.  Lord  Roberts,  I  won't  trench  on  the 
next  toast — which  is  connected  with  100  years  of  peace — because  I 
trust  that,  being  on  the  eve  of  celebrating  100  years  of  peace  between 
the  two  countries,  it  will  be  felt  that  in  those  celebrations  is  expressed 
much  good  feeling  and  good  will  between  the  two  nations,  that  the 
peace  between  us  is  based  not  merely  on  community  of  interest,  and 
not  merely  on  kinship  of  race — because,  although  there  is  a  great  kin- 
ship of  race  between  ourselves  and  the  United  States,  yet  it  is  also 
true  that  the  United  States  is  made  up  of  one  nation  in  which  there 
are  several  different  stocks.  Nor  is  the  peace,  strong  as  those  bonds 
are,  based  entirely  upon  community  of  religion  or  language.  I  believe 
It  is  to  be  based  on  the  sure  and  certain  foundation  of  a  feeling  which 
Is  downright  repugnance  on  the  part  of  men  on  both  sides  of  the 
Atlantic  to  the  thought  even  of  the  relations  between  Great  Britain 
and  the  United  States  being  disturbed.  [Cheers.]  One  thought  more. 
Great  as  is  the  friendly  feeling  between  us  today,  it  is  a  friendly  feel- 
ing which  I  trust  will  still  grow  and  develop,  but  to  whatever  degree 
it  develops  and  however  strong  it  becomes,  I  believe  it  is  their  wish, 
and  I  am  sure  that  it  is  ours,  that  that  friendly  feeling  between  the 
two  countries,  though  it  may  serve  as  an  example  to  all  nations, 
should  never  be  a  menace  to  any,  I  thank  you  for  having  given  me 
the  pleasure  and  the  honor  of  proposing  this  toast,  and  I  ask  you  to 
drink  the  health  of  "Our  Guest."     [Cheers.] 

The  toast  was  drunk  amid  cheers,  the  company  rising  and  singing 
"For  He's  a  Jolly  Good  Fellow."  Mr.  Page,  who  was  loudly  cheered 
on  rising,  said: 

I  do  not  know  how  to  thank  you  adequately  for  so  hospitable 
and  generous  a  welcome.  No  man  could  take  it  to  himself,  least 
of  all  a  man  so  little  known  to  you  as  I  am.  You  pay  me  this 
great  compliment  as  the  representative  of  the  President  and  of 
the  people  of  the  United  States ;  and  in  their  behalf  I  thank  you 
heartily,  and  gratefully  receive  your  friendly  greeting.  In  turn, 
my  errand  here  is  to  convey  to  you  the  respect  and  true  friend- 
ship of  the  people  of  the  United  States;  and,  when  you  are 
pleased  to  receive  me  in  so  cordial  a  way,  I  feel  that  my  busi- 
ness is  most  auspiciously  begun.    [Cheers.]    The  time  has  long 


140  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

passed  when  there  was  need,  if  need  there  ever  were,  of  make- 
shifts and  make-believe  in  our  intercourse;  and  surely  it 
argues  well  for  the  spread  of  justice  and  of  fair  dealing  and 
for  the  firmer  establishment  of  the  peace  of  the  world  that 
the  two  great  nations  of  English  speaking  folk  speak  frankly 
to  one  another.  In  our  dealing  blood  answers  to  blood,  and 
our  fundamental  qualities  of  manhood  are  the  same. 

It  is  an  inspiring  spectacle — and  history  can  show  none 
other  such;  these  two  great  kindred  nations,  one  on  each  side 
of  the  well-ploughed  sea  that  unites  them,  standing,  at  the 
end  of  a  century  of  peace,  liberty-loving  as  of  old,  and  for- 
ward looking,  confident  of  the  broadening  of  the  bounds  of 
freedom  yet;  regarding  government  as  a  living,  everchanging 
instrument  of  human  progress,  made  by  man  for  man's  advance- 
ment and  not  for  the  mere  maintenance  of  any  political  creed, 
yet  none  the  less  cautious  in  experiment  and  change.  This  is 
an  augury  for  the  progress  of  the  world  that  shames  all  struc- 
tures of  society  where  man's  lot  is  stationary,  or  where  his 
philosophy  is  dipped  in  gloom.  [Cheers.]  But  I  thank  you 
for  myself  also ;  for  I  have  observed  that  life  among  you  sea- 
sons and  mellows  a  man — if  he  survive  the  fierce  onslaught  of 
your  hospitality.  [Laughter.]  During  these  few  days  since  I 
landed,  I  am  ashamed  to  confess  that  more  than  once  or  twice 
I  have  been  so  taken  unawares  by  its  swiftness  and  its  volume 
as  to  have  been  made  ill  at  ease — always,  of  course,  on  occa- 
sions when  I  should  have  liked  to  be  most  at  ease.  I  must, 
then,  ask  your  indulgence  as  of  a  man  yet  somewhat  dazed. 
I  find  some  consolation  in  the  fact,  which  I  have  on  high 
authority,  that  there  is  no  anti-American  party  in  this  realm. 
Therefore,  an  American  Ambassador  may  commit  a  reasonable 
number  of  dumb  indiscretions,  and  it  will  be  nobody's  profes- 
sional duty  to  draw  and  quarter  him.  [Laughter.]  The  sea- 
soning effect  of  association  with  you  I  have  observed  in  my 
friends  and  yours  who  preceded  me  here  in  official  life.  I  have 
known  them  nearly  all  of  recent  years — Mr.  Lowell,  Mr.  Bay- 
ard, Mr.  Phelps,  Mr.  Hay,  Mr.  Choate.  Alas!  that  my  dis- 
tinguished immediate  predecessor  did  not  live  out  his  period  of 


FRANKNESS  AND  FRIENDLINESS  141 

service  and  have  years  left  to  enjoy  among  his  earliest  friends 
at  home.  Of  the  gentlemen  that  I  have  named,  Mr.  Choate  alone 
survives,  quite  as  young  as  he  was  when  you  knew  him  here. 
[Cheers.]  All  these  came  back  to  us  from  residence  among 
you,  as  if  they  had  come  from  a  visit  to  a  hospitable  older 
home,  with  their  knowledge  of  the  family  broadened  and  with 
a  well-seasoned  friendliness  to  all  the  world.  To  this  list  I 
must  add  Mr.  Henry  White,  long  the  Secretary  of  the  Embassy 
here  and  subsequently  American  Ambassador  to  France  and  to 
Italy,  and  Mr.  William  Phillips,  who  left  you  only  last  year. 
All  these  speak  of  their  life  among  you  as  one  who  should 
say,  "Carry  my  kindest  greetings  to  my  old  friends." 

We  hope,  too,  that  residence  in  the  United  States  of  your 
distinguished  representatives  there  has  a  similar  effect.  The 
other  evening  the  Pilgrims  of  New  York  gave  Mr.  Bryce,  your 
lately  retired  Ambassador,  a  farewell  dinner  to  express  the 
peculiar  and  universal  esteem  in  which  the  American  people 
hold  the  author  of  * '  The  American  Commonwealth. "  He  served 
at  Washington  under  three  Presidents,  and  during  the  six  years 
of  his  residence  there  he  visited  every  one  of  our  forty-eight 
states.  Mr,  Bryce,  in  fact,  set  a  new  standard  for  Ambassa- 
dors to  friendly  countries  by  making  himself  not  only  persona, 
grata  to  the  government  to  which  he  was  accredited,  but  per- 
sona gratissima  to  the  people.  [Cheers.]  At  that  dinner  Mr. 
Choate  presided.  Mr.  Choate,  you  know,  has  become  a  sort  of 
public  institution  wherewith  we  do  our  most  graceful  acts  of 
courtesy  in  New  York.  I  had  the  pleasure,  too,  of  making  the 
acquaintance  of  your  new  Ambassador  to  the  United  States, 
Sir  Cecil  Spring-Rice,  who  by  previous  residence  in  Washing- 
ton made  many  friends  among  us  and  wliose  charming  qualities 
will  win  many  more.  [Cheers.]  From  my  talk  with  these 
friends,  from  my  own  very  brief  experience  here,  and  from 
many  admonitions  that  I  have  received,  I  conclude  that  your 
habit  is  to  drown  your  fresh  American  Ambassador  in  a  flood 
of  kindness ;  to  begin  at  once  to  work  him  very  hard ;  to  make 
him  earn  his  keep ;  and  to  send  him  home  in  due  time  with  the 
delusion  that  his  hard- won  enjoyment  of  life  here  was  most 


142  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

graciously  vouchsafed  by  you — another  example  of  your  skill  in 
making  self-governing  men  think  that  they  owe  their  happi- 
ness to  your  management,  and  making  them  think  so  is  truly 
making  it  so.     [Laughter.] 

We  have  made  great  strides  in  recent  years  in  becoming 
acquainted,  and  therefore  in  understanding  one  another.  We 
can  measure  our  closer  knowledge  of  one  another  by  old  books 
which  betray  old  moods.  I  have  lately  re-read  Mrs.  Trollope's 
book  about  the  people  of  the  United  States  and  their  manners, 
and  the  wonder  is  that  the  lady  thought  it  worth  while  to 
make  fun  of  us.  [Laughter.]  Almost  the  same  thing  could  be 
said  about  what  Dickens  wrote  about  us.  He  was  looking  for 
picturesque  effects.  He  saw  individuals,  and  he  made  too  sweep- 
ing generalizations.  The  anger  with  which  their  books  were 
received  showed  merely  that  we  did  not  then  readily  know  one 
another  in  the  days  of  sailing  vessels ;  and  they  are  now  only 
of  historical  value  as  illustrating!  a  stage  of  international 
acquaintance.  Almost  the  same  could  be  said  of  Mr.  Lowell's 
essay  "On  a  Certain  Condescension  in  Foreigners."  That 
appeared  at  a  time  of  irritation,  and  he  thought  it  worth  while  to 
turn  the  laugh  on  you.  And  since  then  I  think  we  have  cared 
perhaps  too  little  what  you  thought  or  said  of  us.  He  remarked, 
you  will  recall,  that  "nothing  is  more  hateful  to  gods  and  men 
than  a  second-rate  Englishman,  and  for  the  very  reason  that 
this  planet  never  produced  a  more  splendid  creature  than  a 
first-rate  one";  and  he  asked  you,  in  prose  and  verse,  that, 
when  you  wished  to  please  us,  you  should  use  some  more  dig- 
nified instrument  in  your  dealing  than  a  baby-rattle.  All  that, 
too,  now  seems  trite  and  far-off.  We  have  come  a  long  way 
since  then. 

If  the  old  books  that  we  wrote  about  one  another  give  us  a 
good  measure  of  our  constantly  nearer  approach  to  a  complete 
understanding,  so,  too,  do  certain  new  books,  notably,  if  my  dis- 
tinguished countryman  will  permit  me  to  say  so,  Mr.  Price 
Collier's  "England  and  the  English,  from  an  American  Point 
of  View,"  which  has  been  widely  read  in  the  United  States. 
His  opinions  concerning  you  I  especially  am  debarred  from  dis- 


FRANKNESS  AND  FRIENDLINESS  143 

cussing,  not  only  because  of  his  presence,  but  because  of  this 
delightful  passage  in  explanation  of  his  own  frank  dealing: 
"It  would  be  no  compliment  to  the  British  people  to  use  the 
epicene  style  of  ambassadorial  compliment.  A  clawless  kitten 
is  not  more  harmless  or  more  uninforming  than  a  foreign 
ambassador  at  a  banquet.  This  is  his  business."  That  is  a 
challenge  to  show  one 's  claws ;  and  his  very  next  sentence  pro- 
vokes a  scratch:  "As  between  men,"  he  writes,  "we  all  know 
that  America  does  not  like  England  and  that  Americans  do  not 
like  the  English." 

"Well,  America  is  a  large  country,  and  there  are  one  hundred 
million  Americans.  Since  every  man  of  them  is  where  he  is  be- 
cause he  or  his  ancestors  were  displeased  to  be  somewhere  else, 
since  wrangling  for  political  freedom  and  religious  freedom,  and 
freedom  of  speech  and  freedom  of  most  other  things  has  been 
his  particular  business,  it  would  be  hazardous  to  say  that  all 
these  very  free  men  like  any  one  thing  or  any  one  nation.  But 
I  can  make  a  good  case  against  Mr.  Collier's  contention  by 
quoting  further  from  Mr.  Collier  himself.  He  writes  in  another 
place:  "The  Saxons  can  only  live  in  one  way,  and  that  is 
by  ruling  themselves.  That  any  family,  clan,  tribe,  or  nation 
should  wish  to  live  under  any  other  than  this  Saxon  arrange- 
ment, is  to  them  unthinkable.  *  *  *  Where  in  the  history 
of  mankind  may  one  look  to  find  such  a  magnificent  assump- 
tion of  virtue  and  omniscience,  coupled  with  incomprehensible 
self-satisfaction?"  I  should  say  that  to  find  precisely  this 
same  thing  one  may  look  to  the  United  States;  and  I  should 
say  further  that  this  is  a  proof  that,  as  between  men,  we  do 
not  like  you  very  much  and  are  very  much  like  you. 

We  are  very  much  like  you,  too,  in  this — that  the  fatigue 
and  despair  that  Mr.  Collier  finds  in  some  other  nations  are  not 
found  in  American  or  in  English  life,  nor  in  the  conduct  of 
their  affairs.  There  is  no  "throwing  up  of  the  hands  in  despair, 
no  dyspeptic  politics. ' '  As  for  the  people  of  the  United  States, 
if  I  know  them  and  their  history,  the  tide  of  hope  and  of 
buoyant  expectancy  has  not  before  run  so  high  in  their  blood 
for  a  hundred  years  as  it  runs  now.    I  now  withdraw  my  claws 


144  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

and  leave  you  yourselves  to  deal  with  the  rest  of  Mr.  Collier's 
most  interesting  and  audacious  book.    [Laughter.] 

I  thank  you  especially  for  permitting  your  American 
Ambassador  to  remain  a  human  being  through  all  the  bewilder- 
ing experiences  of  your  hospitality ;  and,  as  a  fellow-being  and 
as  a  working  member  of  the  great  democracy  that  you  honor  in 
honoring  me,  I  hope  to  be  permitted  to  continue  and  greatly 
to  broaden  my  first-hand  studies  of  government  by  observing 
your  triumphs  close  at  hand.  For  these  are  the  finest  fruits 
of  your  long  civilization;  and  the  thing  that  makes  England 
England  is  your  skill  in  ruling  men.  To  men  who  have  much 
land  and  small  habit  of  the  sea  the  British  Empire  is  the 
unfathomable  wonder  of  the  world — till  one  reflects  that  you 
did  not  build  it  by  standing  on  this  little  island,  but  by  stand- 
ing astride  the  seven  seas.  And  even  then  the  wonder  is  hardly 
less.  An  American  historian,  who  knows  the  great  things  that 
have  happened  in  the  world,  once  said  to  me:  **I  have  never 
passed  the  Foreign  Office  in  that  solid  building  in  Downing 
street  without  a  feeling  of  awe ;  for  it  is  there  that  the  greatest 
work  of  government  in  all  the  world  has  been  done."  And  the 
old-time  skill  that  has  made  so  much  of  modem  history  seems 
not  to  have  been  lost  in  this  year  of  grace. 

But  it  is  other  questions  of  government,  also,  that  greatly 
interest  an  American  resident  in  England — your  municipal 
government,  for  example,  from  which  we  may  learn  much; 
your  activities  in  greatly  broadening  the  area  and  multiplying 
the  functions  of  local  control,  about  which  we  in  the  United 
States  have  the  same  differences  of  opinion  that  you  have. 
You  are  trying  some  interesting  experiments.  Those  that  turn 
out  to  be  sound  we  hope  to  profit  by.  Those  that  are  merely 
palliatives — ^that  coddle  or  pauperize  men — ^if  there  prove  to 
be  such — perhaps  we  may  be  wise  enough  to  avoid.  You  can 
hardly  imagine  how  interesting  the  hundreds  of  questions 
that  this  mere  hint  will  suggest  are  to  an  American  whose  life 
has  been  spent  in  the  study  of  popular  government  as  an  instru- 
ment to  make  the  lot  of  mankind  happier,  to  make  free  men 
sturdier  men,  to  make  sure  that  the  dominant  qualities  of  our 


FRANKNESS  AND  FRIENDLINESS  145 

race  shall  not  only  be  preserved  in  our  newer  land  and  under 
our  social  and  governmental  forms,  but  if  possible,  that  they 
may  be  bred  in  us  more  tenaciously.  For  it  is  the  making  of 
men  that  is  our  aim  in  the  Great  Republic — ^the  making  of 
men  rather  than  the  maintenance  of  any  set  of  political  dog- 
mas ;  and  the  organization  of  political  society  that  shall  main- 
tain all  the  efficiency  of  the  race — even  the  efficiency  of  many 
mingled  races — and  at  the  same  time  hold  fast  to  the  natural 
development  of  our  English-born  freedom.  That  is  our  aim. 
For  the  world  does  not  stand  still.  Freedom  must  ever  move 
forward.  Wherever  she  stops  on  her  way  she  is  captured  by 
somebody — freebooter  or  friend — and  she  is  despoiled  as  often 
without  malicious  intent  as  with  it. 

In  addition  to  the  problem  of  your  cities,  you  have  lessons 
of  great  value  for  us  also  in  your  country  life.  We,  too,  in 
spite  of  our  vast  rural  areas,  during  the  industrial  era  of  the 
last  half  century,  permitted  the  town  to  draw  to  itself  a  dis- 
proportionate part  of  the  energy  of  our  people.  And  in  many 
regions  of  the  United  States  there  has  been  a  definite  retro- 
gression in  rural  life.  Now  the  whole  nation  is  waking  up  to 
this  misfortune.  The  typical  man  in  your  land  and  in  my  land 
in  the  old  time  was  the  dweller  in  the  country.  The  country 
home  has  ever  been  the  best  breeding  place  of  English-speak- 
ing free  men  in  every  land.  To  restore  the  country  homes  of 
the  masses  to  their  place  of  domestic  happiness  and  of  economic 
independence  is,  I  think,  the  chief  aim  of  the  people  in  the 
United  States  at  the  present  moment. 

There  is  also  the  more  aesthetic  side  of  country  life.  Most 
of  our  students  of  the  fine  arts  have  sought  other  countries 
than  England  in  their  quest  of  instruction  and  inspiration. 
But  there  is  one  art  that  we  hope  to  learn  from  you — the  art 
of  not  only  making  the  land  productive,  but  of  making  it 
beautiful  also.  Long  ago  Emerson  wrote:  "England  is  a 
garden.  Under  an  ash-colored  sky,  the  fields  have  been  combed 
and  rolled  until  they  appear  to  have  been  finished  with  a  pencil 
instead  of  a  plough."  On  our  wonderful  continent  all  your 
old-world  scenic   effects   may  somewhere   be   reproduced   and 


146  :^TER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

others  made  such  as  are  nowhere  else  possible.  You  will  not 
quarrel  with  us  if  we  make  your  gardens,  your  lawns  and 
your  landscapes  oversea.  Nature  somewhere  in  our  great  con- 
tinental area  gave  us  landscapes  for  every  mood — she  speaks 
to  us  a  various  language.  We  are  now  getting  ready  to  do 
our  part  in  filling  out  her  large  artistic  sketch,  and,  we  hope, 
to  make  her  voice  heard  in  our  literature  also.  Already  I 
hope  you  know  our  John  Muir,  the  interpreter  of  the  Sierras 
and  brother  of  the  big  trees,  and  more  of  his  kind,  if  lesser. 
"We  mean  to  keep  our  land  not  only  rich  for  growing  wheat 
and  maize  and  cotton,  but  to  make  it  richer  yet  for  its  beauty 
and  restfulness — the  home  for  the  fittest  man  of  the  future — 
the  place  the  countrybred  Englishman  will  wish  to  go  when 
he  dies,  as  well  as  while  he  lives. 

If  you  will  be  so  kind  as  to  permit  me  to  live  among  you 
thus  to  learn  what  I  can,  as  a  working  member  of  the  great 
English-speaking  democracy,  which,  with  local  variations,  has 
in  every  part  of  the  world  the  same  large  aims — the  aim  to 
keep  men  free  and  to  preserve  the  peace  of  the  world — permit 
me  to  live  and  work  as  befits  that  great  nation  of  uncommon 
common  men  for  whom  I  have  the  honor  for  the  moment  to 
be  the  frank  and  friendly  spokesman,  I  shall  feel  like  a  wel- 
come visitor  in  the  house  of  my  kinsmen.  I  thank  you  heartily. 
[Loud  cheers.] 


THE  SPIRIT  OF  SELF-GOVERNMENT. 

Elihu  Root. 
Remarks  by  John  Claflin. 

Mr.  John  Claflin,  president,  presided  over  the  one  hundred  and 
forty-fourth  annual  banquet  of  the  New  York  Chamber  of  Commerce 
at  the  Waldorf-Astoria,  November  21,  1912.  After  Bishop  Greer  said 
grace,  Mr.  Claflin  said:  Having  eaten  our  one  hundred  and  forty- 
fourth  annual  dinner  we  may  congratulate  ourselves  on  our  robust 
digestion  and  our  youthful  age.  The  youthfulness  of  our  age  I  should 
be  inclined  to  attribute  to  our  corporate  mode  of  life  were  I  not  ad- 
monished that  corporate  life  in  this  country  at  the  present  time  is 
under  suspicion,  and  that  corporate  life  which  sustains  and  cheers 
itself  by  regular  dinners  and  frequent  lunches  is  likely  to  be  inquired 
into  by  the  Attorney  General  of  the  United  States.  I  do  not  wish  to 
drive  the  distinguished  members  of  our  Banquet  Committee  into  im- 
mediate consultation  with  their  legal  advisers,  and  I  will,  therefore, 
not  pursue  this  reflection  further.     [Laughter.] 

But  if  I  may  not  safely  dwell  on  the  corporate  youthfulness  of 
our  age,  I  may  at  least  comment  briefly  on  the  age  itself.  One  hun- 
dred and  forty-four  years!  A  brilliant  thinker  has  said:  "Man  prob- 
ably dates  from  the  Tertiary  Period — three  hundred  thousand  years. 
He  has  developed  more  in  the  last  three  thousand  than  in  the  pre- 
ceding two  hundred  and  ninety-seven  thousand;  more  in  the  last  three 
hundred  than  in  the  preceding  three  thousand,  and  in  some  respects 
more  in  the  last  flfty  than  in  the  preceding  two  hundred  and  ninety- 
nine  thousand  nine  hundred  and  flfty  years."  This  is  a  striking  state- 
ment and  it  is  supported  by  impressive  facts.  But  let  us  extend  the 
fifty  years  to  one  hundred  and  forty-four,  back  to  the  birth  of  the 
Chamber.  James  Watt  was  then  finishing  his  steam  engine.  He 
found  great  difficulty  In  having  a  boiler  made  that  would  not  leak, 
for  up  to  that  time,  as  another  has  said:  "All  the  work  that  was 
performed  was  done  by  the  human  hand,  and  was  performed  badly." 
But  when  Watt's  engine  began  to  work  efficiently  it  inaugurated  a 
revolution.  It  marked  the  beginning  of  a  control  of  natural  forces 
which,  year  by  year,  has  so  marvelously  increased  the  effective  energy 
of  man  that  it  seems  safe  to  say  that  the  physical  progress  of  the 
human  race  from  the  time  man  fashioned  his  first  rude  implement  of 
stone,  to  the  time  of  Watt,  was  not  greater  than  its  progress  during 
the  last  one  hundred  and  forty-four  years. 

147 


148  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

Perhaps  you  will  expect  me  to  claim  considerable  credit  for  the 
Chamber  on  account  of  this  contemporaneous  progress.  But  no,  I 
will  simply  suggest  that  most  of  the  illustrious  inventors  who  have 
made  America  foremost  in  the  control  of  the  powers  of  nature  to  man's 
use  (some  of  them  our  own  members),  have  often  enjoyed  the  hospi- 
tality of  the  Chamber.  What  more  natural  than  that  after  eating 
our  dinners  and  imbibing  our  good  cheer  they  should  go  forth  inspired 
to  surpass  themselves  and  to  astonish  the  world  by  new  and  wonderful 
Inventions.    [Applause.] 

Tou  see  I  have  claimed  little  for  the  Chamber  on  account  of  scien- 
tific progress,  I  shall  claim  more  in  another  direction.  The  Cham- 
ber has  always  stood  for  good  citizenship.  During  our  one  hundred 
and  forty-four  years  there  has  been  an  evolution  in  free  government 
more  important  to  the  individual,  more  conducive  to  his  security  and 
happiness,  than  all  the  astounding  advances  in  physical  science. 

This  Chamber  has  witnessed  the  magnificent  Declaration  of  Rights 
of  1776  and  its  maintenance  by  arms.  It  has  witnessed  the  weakness 
of  the  loosely  confederated  states  and  their  remarkable  binding 
together  by  the  wisdom  and  patience  of  the  framers  of  the  Federal 
Constitution,  The  Chamber  has  had  a  part,  son.etimes,  I  may  fairly 
say,  an  important  part,  in  the  life,  the  trials,  the  progress  of  the 
nation  since.  It  has  been  proud  of  what  its  members  have  done  to 
make  representative  government  a  success,  and  it  has  never  doubted 
the  reality  and  the  stability  of  the  success.  Latterly  some  able  men 
have  expressed  anxiety  lest  the  organic  law  prove  inadequate  to  new 
needs.  They  have  suggested  difficulties;  they  have  proposed  extraor- 
dinary remedies.  The  Chamber  has  not  shared  their  alarm.  It  has 
studied  the  national  record  of  peace  and  war,  adversity  and  pros- 
perity, for  the  past  century  and  it  has  felt,  and  more  than  ever  feels 
to-day,  that  the  wisdom  of  the  fathers  was  so  far-seeing,  so  abundantly 
provident  of  adjustment  to  changes  in  national  life,  that  we  may  well 
take  courage  and  with  abiding  hope  for  the  future  we  may  thank  God 
that  we  live  under  the  Constitution  of  the  United  States.  [Loud 
applause,] 

Our  first  regular  toast  this  evening  is  to  a  wise  expounder  and 
strong  defender  of  the  Constitution.  [Applause.]  Let  us  drink  to 
the  health  of  our  honored  Chief  Magistrate,  the  President  of  the 
United  States. 

(The  toast  was  drunk,  every  one  standing  and  cheering.) 

Some  weeks  ago  we  hoped  to  induce  the  Governor  of  New  Jersey 
to  address  us  this  evening,  [Applause.]  Since  then  there  have  been 
notable  happenings  [laughter]  and  the  Governor  of  New  Jersey  has 
announced  that  he  has  been  sentenced  to  four  years  hard  work  [laugh- 
ter] and  that  he  is  taking  a  preparatory  rest.    Let  us  hope  that  the 


THE  SPIRIT  OF  SELF-GOVERNMENT  149 

four  years  of  work  will  be  so  fruitful  of  success  to  him,  and  of  pros- 
perity to  the  nation,  that  the  worlc  will  prove  pleasant  and  not 
arduous.  [Applause.]  I  propose  the  health  of  the  scholar  and  states- 
man who  is  now  President-elect  of  the  United  States,  the  Honorable 
Woodrow  Wilson. 

(The  toast  was  drunk  with  great  applause,  all  standing.) 
In  my  early  business  life  an  esteemed  partner  Introduced  to  our 
firm  a  young  lawyer  whom  he  characterized  as  of  great  ability  and  of 
remarkably  sound  judgment.  We  found  that  characterization  true. 
Very  soon  others  discovered  the  great  ability  and  sound  judgment, 
and  the  reputation  of  the  young  lawyer  extended  throughout  the  city. 
As  his  years  increased  his  fame  increased,  and  presently  his  reputation 
became  national,  and  later,  international,  until  the  name  of  Elihu 
Root  [applause]  stood  among  the  great  names  of  the  world  in  juris- 
prudence and  in  statesmanship.  [Applause.]  We  are  fortunate  that 
while  his  influence  and  his  interests  are  world-wide,  he  is  devoting 
himself  to  the  service  of  his  native  state.  I  know  that  every  member 
of  this  Chamber  will  delight  to  join  with  me  in  wishing  long  life  and 
happiness  to  the  senior  United  States  Senator  from  New  York.  [Ap- 
plause and  cheers.] 


Mr.  President,  Gentlemen  of  the  Chamber  of  Commerce  of 
the  State  of  New  York :  I  thanli  you  with  entire  sincerity  and 
much  feeling  for  your  reception,  and  for  the  kind  expressions 
which  old  friendship  and  the  association  of  a  lifetime  have  made 
it  possible  for  your  President  to  utter.  However  old  I  may 
come  to  be,  I  shall  never  pass  out  from  under  the  impressions  of 
reverence  for  the  men  who  forty  to  fifty  years  ago  made  the 
Chamber  of  Commerce;  and  first  among  them  in  my  memory 
stands  the  noble  and  inspiring  presence  of  the  father  of  your 
present  President.     [Applause.] 

I  thought  of  those  men  when  some  dozen  years  ago  a  great 
excitement  had  carried  a  large  number  of  people  to  the  barren 
and  unhabited  land  on  the  shores  of  Behring  Straits.  Fifteen 
thousand  men  found  themselves  there  without  government,  with- 
out law,  and  without  organization.  In  characteristic  American 
fashion  they  proceeded  to  organize  a  Chamber  of  Commerce 
of  Nome.  [Laughter.]  And  they  called  upon  the  War  depart- 
ment to  send  them  some  officers  and  men  to  enable  them  to 
execute  the  decrees  of  the  Chamber  of  Commerce  for  the  benefit 


150  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

of  the  people  on  that  shore.  The  call  was  responded  to  after 
the  fashion  in  which  the  American  army  is  all  the  time  doing 
odd  jobs  for  the  promotion  of  peace  and  order ;  and  the  Chamber 
of  Commerce  grew  into  an  organized  government. 

The  Chamber  of  Commerce  of  New  York  has  been  rendering 
very  much  the  same  kind  of  service  during  all  these  one  hun- 
dred and  forty-four  years.  It  has  been  giving  impetus  and 
form  to  public  sentiment,  the  effects  of  which  have  been  put  in 
operation  through  the  ordinary  channels  of  governmental  insti- 
tutions. The  institutions  themselves  are  empty  forces  but  for 
the  sentiment  behind  them;  and  the  sentiment  behind  them  is 
furnished  by  such  men  as  I  see  before  me  here  and  by  such 
institutions  as  this  Chamber  of  Commerce.  The  real  govern- 
ment of  the  country  rests  with  such  institutions  and  the  men 
who  compose  their  membership. 

My  friends,  the  noise  and  excitement  of  a  great  presidential 
campaign  is  over;  the  stress  and  strain,  the  over-statements,  the 
warping  of  judgment  by  personal  considerations  and  by  old 
associations  have  passed  into  memory,  and  we  are  all  at  rest; 
and  during  this  period  of  rest,  which  in  this  active  and  vigorous 
and  progressive  country  must  be  but  short,  it  seems  to  be  a  good 
time  for  national  introspection. 

I  have  been  thinking  whether,  passing  beyond  and  behind 
all  the  issues  that  we  have  been  discussing,  we  can  answer  in 
the  affirmative  or  the  negative  a  crucial  question,  underlying 
them  all,  and  that  is  this:  Are  we  advancing  in  our  capacity 
for  self  government?  Are  we  maintaining  our  capacity  for 
self  government? 

All  the  rest  is  unimportant  compared  with  that.  If  we  have 
the  spirit  of  a  true  self  governing  people,  whichever  way  we 
decide  the  questions  of  the  moment,  we  come  through  right. 
Whatever  we  do  about  the  tariff  or  about  the  trusts,  or  about 
the  railroads,  or  about  wages,  or  about  corporations,  or  what- 
ever we  do  about  any  of  the  issues  before  the  American  people, 
if  we  have  at  heart  the  true  spirit  of  a  free  self-governing 
democracy,  we  come  through  right.  [Applause.]  What  is  it? 
What  is  the  spirit  of  a  free  self-governing  democracy?    What 


THE  SPIRIT  OF  SELF-GOVERNMENT  151 

are  its  essentials,  and  have  we  them  to  a  greater  or  a  less 
degree  ?    What  is  the  tendency — is  it  up  or  down  ? 

Of  course,  a  people  to  be  self  governing  must  have  inde- 
pendence of  character  and  courage;  that  we  know  we  have. 
Throughout  the  length  and  breadth  of  our  land  the  Americans 
have  an  attitude  in  which  one  recognizes  no  social  or  political 
superior,  in  which  every  man  knows  himself  to  be  a  man  of  equal 
manhood  with  all  others  and  has  the  courage  to  speak  his  opin- 
ions and  to  maintain  them;  and  we  thank  God  for  that. 
[Applause.] 

But  that  is  not  enough;  that  is  not  all.  All  histories  of 
wild  and  savage  people,  all  the  histories  of  lawless  and  undis- 
ciplined men,  all  the  histories  of  civil  wars  and  revolutions,  all 
the  histories  of  discord  and  strife  which  check  the  onward 
march  of  civilization  and  hold  a  people  stationary  until  they 
go  down  instead  of  going  up,  admonish  us  that  it  is  not  enough 
to  be  independent  and  courageous. 

Self-governing  people  must  have  the  spirit  which  makes 
them  self  controlled,  which  makes  every  man  competent  and 
willing  to  govern  his  impulses  by  the  rule  of  declared  principle. 
And  more  than  that,  men  in  a  self-governed  democracy  must 
have  a  love  of  liberty  that  means  not  merely  one's  own  liberty, 
but  others'  liberty.  [Applause.]  We  must  respect  the  opinions 
and  the  liberty  of  the  opinions  of  our  countrymen.  That  spirit 
excludes  hatred  of  our  opponents.  That  spirit  excludes  a  desire 
to  abuse,  to  vilify,  to  destroy.  All  of  us  in  foreign  lands  have 
felt  the  blood  rush  to  the  head,  and  felt  the  heart  beat  quicker, 
felt  a  suffusion  of  feeling  upon  seeing  our  country 's  flag  floating 
in  strange  ports  and  in  distant  cities.  That,  my  friends,  is  but 
a  false  sentiment  unless  it  carries  with  it  a  love  not  only  for 
the  flag,  but  for  the  countrymen  under  the  flag.  True  love  of 
country  is  not  an  abstraction.  It  means  a  little  different  feeling 
toward  every  American  because  he  is  American.  It  means  a 
desire  that  every  American  shall  be  prosperous;  it  means 
kindly  consideration  for  his  opinions,  for  his  views,  for  his  inter- 
ests, for  his  prejudices,  and  charity  for  his  follies  and  his  errors. 
[Applause.]     The  man  who  loves  his  country  only  that  he  may 


162  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

be  free  does  not  love  his  country.  He  loves  only  himself  and 
his  own  way,  and  that  is  not  self  government,  but  is  the  essence 
pf  despotism.     [Applause.] 

Now  as  to  that  feeling  I  will  not  say  that  we  have  gone 
backward,  but  I  will  say  that  there  is  serious  cause  for  reflection 
on  the  part  of  all  Americans. 

Our  life  has  become  so  complicated,  the  activities  of  our 
country  so  numerous  and  so  vast,  that  it  is  very  difficult  for  us 
to  understand  what  our  countrymen  are  doing.  The  cotton 
planters  understand  each  other,  the  wheat  farmers  understand 
each  other,  the  importers  understand  each  other,  the  bankers 
understand  each  other,  but  there  are  vast  masses  of  the  people 
of  our  country  who  totally  misunderstand  others  of  our  people, 
and  that  misunderstanding  lies  at  the  bottom  of  the  spirit  which 
I  have  attempted  to  describe  as  so  necessary  to  real  self 
government. 

The  misunderstanding,  and  when  I  say  misunderstanding  it 
implies  erroneous  ideas,  for  there  are  hundreds  of  thousands 
of  people,  outside  the  great  industrial  communities  who  think 
you  are  a  den  of  thieves,  and  there  are  hundreds  of  thousands 
of  people  who  think  that  the  manufacturers  of  the  country  are 
no  better  than  a  set  of  confidence  men.  Why,  we  have  before 
us  now  great  and  serious  questions  regarding  the  financial  prob- 
lem of  the  country,  and  this  is  what  stands  in  the  way  of  their 
solution:  It  is  that  the  men  who  understand  the  finances  of 
the  country,  the  bankers  and  the  merchants  engaged  in  great 
operations,  are  under  suspicion.  Great  bodies  of  people  will 
not  accept  what  they  say  regarding  the  subject  of  finance,  a 
subject  complicated  by  aU  the  currents  and  movements  of 
finance  throughout  the  world;  they  will  not  accept  what  the 
experts  say,  what  the  men  who  understand  the  subject  say, 
because  they  do  not  believe  their  motives  are  honest.  So  that 
the  only  one  who  can  be  heard  is  the  man  who  does  not  under- 
stand the  subject.  How  are  we  to  reach  any  conclusion  in  that 
way?  On  the  other  hand,  there  are  many  in  this  room  to-night 
who  way  down  in  their  hearts  believe  that  great  bodies  of  the 
American  people  really  want  to  destroy  their  business  and  con- 


THE  SPIRIT  OF  SELF-GOVERNMENT  153 

fiscate  their  property,  that  they  are  enemies  to  the  men  who 
are  carrying  on  the  vast  business  essential  to  our  prosperity. 

Now,  neither  is  true.  One  misunderstanding  leads  to  eon- 
duet  which  in  some  respect  seems  to  justify  another  misunder- 
standing. Nobody  in  this  country  wants  to  destroy  business, 
wants  to  destroy  prosperity.  I  say  nobody.  Of  course,  there 
are  always  hangers  on  in  every  country  who  would  like  to 
destroy  everything  in  the  hope  of  picking  up  the  pieces.  But 
speaking  of  the  great  body  of  the  people,  they  do  not  want  to 
destroy  prosperity,  and  when  they  do  things,  when  they  vote 
for  measures,  when  they  elect  Representatives,  leading  you  to 
think  that  they  want  to  destroy  prosperity,  it  is  because  they 
misunderstand  you,  and  you  misunderstand  them. 

There  is  nothing  more  important  to-day,  than  that  by  educa- 
tion and  the  spread  of  ideas,  such  misunderstanding  shall  be 
disposed  and  done  away  with,  and  that  all  Americans  shall  come 
to  the  spirit  of  popular  government  in  which  every  American 
desires  the  prosperity  and  the  happiness  of  every  other  Amer- 
ican, [great  applause]  every  American  naturally  feels  a  trust 
in  all  Americans,  because  they  are  his  brothers,  fellow  inheritors 
of  the  great  system  of  constitutional  law  for  the  preservation  of 
liberty  and  justice,  of  the  same  great  traditions,  the  same  noble 
ideals  of  human  freedom  and  human  opportunity.     [Applause.] 

There  is  one  other  essential  to  the  spirit  of  self-government, 
and  that  is  justice.  The  manufacturer,  the  employer  of  labor, 
who  is  unwilling  to  be  just  to  his  workingmen  is  false  to  the 
ideals  of  his  country.  [Applause.]  The  laborer  who,  in  the 
comparatively  new-found  power  of  organization,  is  unjust  to 
his  employer,  is  false  to  those  great  traditions  in  which  rest  the 
liberty  of  all  labor.     [Applause.] 

The  willingness  to  do  justice  in  a  nation  to  every  brother 
of  our  common  land  is  the  ideal  of  self-government.  Further 
than  that,  the  willingness  to  do  justice  as  a  nation  is  the  true 
conception  of  self-government.  [Renewed  applause.]  That 
rude  and  bumptious  willingness  to  insult  and  deride,  the  result 
of  ignorance,  is  wholly  false  to  the  true  dignity  and  the  true 
spirit  of  popular  self-government. 


154  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

"We  are  now  approaching  a  question  which  will  test  the  will 
ingness  of  the  American  people  to  be  true  to  the  ideals  of  self-, 
government  and  show  that  a  democracy  can  be  honorable  and 
just.  Sixty  odd  years  ago  Great  Britain  and  the  United  States 
were  owners  of  a  great  territory  extending  from  Mexico  to  the 
frozen  north,  each  with  a  great  sea  coast  on  the  Atlantic  and 
each  with  a  great  sea  coast  on  the  Pacific.  It  was  of  vital 
importance  to  both  that  the  age-long  problem  of  transit  across 
the  Isthmus  should  be  solved;  and  they  went  into  partnership 
to  support  and  to  stand  behind  the  making  of  a  canal  across  the 
Isthmus.  They  embodied  their  agreement  in  what  we  called 
the  Clayton-Bulwer  Treaty  of  1850.  Well,  time  passed.  Noth- 
ing was  done,  largely,  for  a  long  time,  because  of  the  French 
experiment  of  canal  building ;  until  finally  a  few  years  ago  that 
partnership  was  dissolved  and  then  a  new  agreement  was  made 
under  which  Great  Britain  retired  from  her  position,  and  signed 
over  to  the  United  States  all  the  rights  she  had  under  the  part- 
nership agreement  with  the  provision  that  the  canal,  when  con- 
structed under  the  patronage  of  the  United  States  or  by  the 
United  States,  whichever  it  might  be,  should  be  opened  and 
made  neutral  upon  the  same  terms  that  were  specified  in  the 
original  agreement,  which  were  that  the  ships  of  Great  Britain 
and  the  ships  of  the  United  States  should  have  exactly  the  same 
treatment. 

Then  Panama  made  to  the  United  States  a  grant  of  the  use 
and  occupation  of  a  strip  of  territory  across  the  Isthmus  to  be 
used  for  the  construction  of  a  canal  in  accordance  with  the 
terms  and  stipulations  in  this  treaty  with  Great  Britain.  The 
last  session  of  Congress,  however,  passed  a  law  which  gives  free 
transit  to  American  ships  engaged  in  coastwise  trade  when 
passing  between  our  Atlantic  coast  and  our  Pacific  coast,  while 
tolls  are  to  be  imposed  upon  the  British  ships  passing  between 
British  ports  on  the  Atlantic  and  British  ports  on  the  Pacific, 
and  upon  all  other  foreign  ships.  Now,  Great  Britain  claims 
that  that  is  a  violation  of  the  treaty  which  we  made  with  her  and 
in  accordance  with  which,  by  express  provisions  containing  our 
grant  from  Panama,  we  are  to  build  and  open  the  canal.    Con- 


THE  SPIRIT  OP  SELF-GOVERNMENT  155 

gress  takes  a  different  view  of  the  construction  of  the  treaty, 
and  it  has  passed  this  law  which  Great  Britain  says  violates  it. 
The  question  is  now,  ''What  is  to  be  done  about  it?" 

We  have  a  treaty  with  Great  Britain  under  which  we  have 
agreed  that  all  questions  arising  upon  the  interpretation  of 
treaties  shall  be  submitted  to  arbitration;  and  while  it  seems 
hardly  conceivable,  yet  there  are  men  who  say  that  we  will 
never  arbitrate  the  question  of  the  construction  of  that  treaty; 
but  I  say  to  you  that  if  we  refuse  to  arbitrate  it,  we  will  be  in 
the  position  of  the  merchant  who  is  known  to  all  the  world  to 
be  false  to  his  promises.     [Applause  and  cheers.] 

With  our  nearly  four  thousand  millions  of  foreign  trade 
we  will  stand  in  the  world  of  commerce  as  a  merchant  false  to 
his  word.  Among  all  the  people  on  this  earth  who  hope  for 
better  days  of  righteousness  and  peace  in  the  future,  we  will 
stand,  in  the  light  of  our  multitude  of  declarations  for  arbitra- 
tion and  peace,  as  discredited,  dishonored  hypocrites;  with  the 
fair  name  of  America  blackened,  with  the  self-respect  of  Amer- 
icans gone,  with  the  influence  of  America  for  advance  along 
the  pathway  of  progress  and  civilization  annulled,  dishonored 
and  disgraced.  [Applause.]  No  true  American  can  fail  to  use 
his  voice  and  his  influence  upon  this  question  for  his  country's 
honor.     [Applause.] 

We  need  to  think  about  these  deeper  things,  more  important 
than  anything  we  have  been  discussing  in  the  campaign.  For, 
if  we  are  right  fundamentally,  we  will  solve  all  the  questions. 
The  spirit  of  a  people  is  everything,  the  decision  of  a  particular 
question  is  nothing,  if  we  are  honest  and  honorable.  If  we  are 
lovers  of  liberty  and  justice,  if  we  are  willing  to  do,  as  a  nation, 
what  we  feel  bound  to  do  as  individuals  in  our  communities, 
then  all  the  questions  we  have  been  discussing  will  be  solved 
right,  and  for  countless  generations  to  come  Americans  will  still 
be  brothers,  as  they  were  in  the  days  of  old,  leading  the  world 
toward  happier  lives  and  nobler  manhood,  toward  the  realiza- 
tion of  the  dreams  of  philosophers  and  the  prophets,  for  a  better 
and  nobler  world.     [Prolonged  applause.] 


THE  CHURCH. 

Henby  Codman  Potter. 

Address  of  Reverend  Henry  Codman  Potter,  Protestant  Episcopal 
Bishop  of  New  York,  at  the  seventy -third  annual  dinner  of  the  New 
England  Society  in  the  City  of  New  York,  December  twenty-third, 
1878.  Daniel  F.  Appleton  presided  and  proposed  the  toast,  "The  Church 
— a  fountain  of  charity  and  good  works,  which  is  not  established,  but 
establishes  itself,  by  God's  blessing,  in  men's  hearts." 

Mr.  President :  I  take  up  the  strain  where  the  distinguished 
Senator  from  Maine  [James  G.  Blaine]  has  dropped  it.  I  would 
fain  be  with  him  one  of  those  who  should  see  the  typical  New 
England  dinner  spread  upon  a  table  at  which  Miles  Standish 
and  John  Alden  sat,  and  upon  which  should  be  spread  viands 
of  which  John  Alden  and  Miles  Standish  and  the  rest,  two  hun- 
dred and  seventy-three  years  ago,  partook.  I  would  fain  see 
something  more  or  rather  I  would  fain  hear  something  more — 
and  that  is,  the  sentiments  of  those  gathered  about  that  table, 
and  the  measure  in  which  those  sentiments  accorded  with  the 
sentiments  of  those  who  sit  at  these  tables  to-night.  [Applause.] 
Why,  Mr.  President,  the  viands  of  which  John  Alden  and  Miles 
Standish  partook  did  not  differ  more  radically  from  the  splendor 
of  this  banquet  than  did  the  sentiments  with  which  the  Puritans 
came  to  these  shores  differ  from  the  sentiments  of  the  men  who 
gather  in  this  room  to-night.  If  it  had  happened  to  them  as  it 
happened  to  a  distinguished  company  in  New  England,  where 
an  eminent  New  England  divine  was  called  upon  to  lead  in 
prayer,  their  feelings  would  have  been  as  little  wounded  as  those 
against  whom  he  offered  up  his  petition;  or  rather,  if  I  were 
here  to-night  to  denounce  their  sentiments  as  to  religious  tolera- 
tion, in  which  they  did  not  believe;  their  sentiments  as  to  the 
separation  of  the  Church  from  the  State,  in  which  they  did  not 
believe  any  more  than  they  believed  in  religious  toleration; 
their   sentiments   as   to   Democracy,   in   which   they   did   not 

156 


THE  CHURCH  157 

believe  any  more  than  they  believed  in  religious  toleration — 
those  of  us  who  are  here  and  who  do  believe  in  these  things 
would  be  as  little  wounded  as  the  company  to  which  I  have 
referred.  The  distinguished  divine  to  whom  I  have  alluded  was 
called  upon  to  offer  prayer,  some  fifty  years  ago,  in  a  mixed 
company,  when,  in  accordance  with  the  custom  of  the  time,  he 
included  in  his  petition  to  the  Almigthy  a  large  measure  of 
anathema,  as  "We  beseech  Thee,  0  Lord!  to  overwhelm  the 
tyrant!  We  beseech  Thee  to  overwhelm  and  to  pull  down  the 
oppressor!  We  beseech  Thee  to  overwhelm  the  Papist!"  And 
then  opening  his  eyes,  and  seeing  that  a  Roman  Catholic  arch- 
bishop and  his  secretary  were  present,  he  saw  he  must  change 
the  current  of  his  petitions  if  he  would  be  courteous  to  his 
audience,  and  said  vehemently,  ''We  beseech  Thee,  0  Lord!  we 
beseech  Thee — ^we  beseech  Thee — we  beseech  Thee  to  pull  down 
and  overwhelm  the  Hottentot ! '  *  Said  someone  to  him  when  the 
prayer  was  over,  * '  My  dear  brother,  why  were  you  so  hard  upon 
the  Hottentots?"  "Well,"  said  he,  "the  fact  is,  when  I  opened 
my  eyes  and  looked  around,  between  the  paragraphs  in  the 
prayer,  at  the  assembled  guests,  I  found  that  the  Hottentots 
were  the  only  people  who  had  not  some  friends  among  the  com- 
pany."    [Laughter.] 

Gentlemen  of  the  New  England  Society,  if  I  were  to  denounce 
the  views  of  the  Puritans  to-night,  they  would  be  like  the  Hot- 
tentots. [Laughter.]  Nay  more,  if  one  of  their  number  were 
to  come  into  this  banqueting  hall  and  sit  down  at  this  splendid 
feast,  so  unlike  what  he  had  been  wont  to  see,  and  were  to 
expound  his  views  as  to  constitutional  liberty  and  as  to  religious 
toleration,  or  as  to  the  relations  of  the  Church  to  the  State,  I 
am  very  much  afraid  that  you  and  I  would  be  tempted  to  answer 
him  as  an  American  answered  an  English  traveler  in  a  railway 
carriage  in  Belgium.  Said  this  Englishman,  whom  I  happened 
to  meet  in  Brussels,  and  who  recognized  me  as  an  American 
citizen:  "Your  countrymen  have  a  very  strange  conception  of 
the  English  tongue;  I  never  heard  any  people  who  speak  the 
English  language  in  such  an  odd  way  as  the  Americans  do." 
"What  do  you  mean?"  I  said,  "I  supposed  that  in  the  American 


158  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

States  the  educated  and  cultivated  people  spoke  the  English 
tongue  with  the  utmost  propriety,  with  the  same  accuracy  and 
the  same  classical  refinement  as  yours."  He  replied:  *'I  was 
traveling  hither,  and  found  sitting  opposite  an  intelligent  gen- 
tleman, who  turned  out  to  be  an  American.  I  went  on  to  explain 
to  him  my  views  as  to  the  late  unpleasantness  in  America.  I 
told  him  how  profoundly  I  deplored  the  results  of  the  civil 
war.  That  I  believed  the  interests  of  good  government  would 
have  been  better  advanced  if  the  South,  rather  than  the  North, 
had  triumphed.  I  showed  him  at  great  length  how,  if  the  South 
had  succeeded,  you  would  have  been  able  to  have  laid  in  that 
land,  first,  the  foundations  of  an  aristocracy,  and  then  from 
that  would  have  grown  a  monarchy;  how  by  the  planters  you 
would  have  got  a  noble  class,  and  out  of  that  class  you  would 
have  got  a  king;  and  after  I  had  drawn  this  picture  I  showed 
to  him  what  would  have  been  the  great  and  glorious  result ;  and 
what  do  you  think  was  his  reply  to  these  views?  He  turned 
round,  looked  me  coolly  in  the  face,  and  said,  'Why  what  a 
blundering  old  cuss  you  are!'  "  [Great  laughter.]  Gentlemen, 
if  one  of  our  New  England  ancestors  were  here  to-night  expound- 
ing his  views  to  us,  I  am  very  much  afraid  that  you  and  I  would 
be  tempted  to  turn  round  and  say:  **Why  what  a  blundering 
old  cuss  you  are!"    [Renewed  laughter.] 

But,  Mr.  President,  though  all  this  is  true,  the  seeds  of  our 
liberty,  our  toleration,  our  free  institutions,  our  ''Church  not 
established  by  law,  but  establishing  itself  in  the  hearts  of  men," 
were  all  in  the  simple  and  single  devotion  to  the  truth  so  far  as 
it  was  revealed  to  them,  which  was  the  supreme  characteristic 
of  our  New  England  forefathers.  With  them  religion  and  the 
Church  meant  supremely  personal  religion,  and  obedience  to 
the  personal  conscience.  It  meant  truth  and  righteousness, 
obedience  and  purity,  reverence  and  intelligence  in  the  family, 
in  the  shop,  in  the  field  and  on  the  bench.  It  meant  compassion 
and  charity  towards  the  savages  among  whom  they  found  them- 
selves, and  good  works  as  the  daily  outcome  of  a  faith  which, 
if  stern,  was  steadfast  and  undaunted. 

And  so,  Mr.  President,  however  the  sentiments  and  opinions 


THE  CHURCH  159 

of  our  ancestors  may  seem  to  have  differed  from  ours,  those  New 
England  ancestors  did  believe  in  a  church  that  included  and 
incarnated  those  ideas  of  charity  and  love  and  brotherhood  to 
which  you  have  referred;  and  if,  to-day,  the  Church  of  New 
York,  whatever  name  it  may  bear,  is  to  be  maintained,  as  one 
of  your  distinguished  guests  has  said,  not  for  ornament  but  for 
use,  it  is  because  the  hard,  practical,  and  yet,  when  the  occasion 
demanded,  large-minded  and  open-hearted  spirit  of  the  New 
England  ancestors  shall  be  in  it.     [Applause.] 

Said  an  English  swell  footman,  with  his  calves  nearly  as 
large  as  his  waist,  having  been  called  upon  by  the  lady  of  the 
house  to  carry  a  coal-scuttle  from  the  cellar  to  the  second  story, 
"Madam,  ham  I  for  use,  or  ham  I  for  hornament?"  [Laughter.] 
1  believe  it  to  be  the  mind  of  the  men  of  New  England  ancestry 
who  live  in  New  York  to-day,  that  the  Church,  if  it  is  to  exist 
here,  shall  exist  for  use,  and  not  for  ornament;  that  it  shall 
exist  to  make  our  streets  cleaner,  to  make  our  tenement-houses 
better  built  and  better  drained  and  better  ventilated ;  to  respect 
the  rights  of  the  poor  man  in  regard  to  fresh  air  and  light,  as 
well  as  the  rights  of  the  rich  man.  And  in  order  that  it  shall 
do  these  things,  and  that  the  Church  of  New  York  shall  exist 
not  for  ornament  but  for  use,  I,  as  one  of  the  descendants  of 
New  England  ancestors,  ask  no  better  thing  for  it  than  that 
it  shall  have,  not  only  among  those  who  fill  its  pulpits,  men  of 
New  England  ancestry,  but  also  among  those  who  sit  in  its  pews 
men  of  New  England  brains  and  New  England  sympathies,  and 
New  England  catholic  generosity!     [Continued  applause.] 


ETON. 

Lord  Rosebeey. 

On  October  twenty-eight,  1898,  there  was  a  great  gathering  of  old 
Etonians  (never  slow  to  celebrate  their  own  good  fortune)  at  the 
Caf6  Monico  to  say  "good-bye"  and  wish  "good  luck"  to  the  Earl  of 
Minto,  Governor-General  of  Canada,  Lord  Curzon  of  Kedleston,  Viceroy 
of  India,  and  the  Rev.  J.  E.  C.  Welldon,  Bishop  of  Calcutta.  Lord 
Rosebery,  as  a  distinguished  old  Etonian,  was  in  the  chair,  and  pro- 
posed the  toast  of  "Our  Guests"  in  the  speech  which  is  here  printed. — 
Appreciations  and  Addresses,  delivered  by  Lord  Rosebery,  edited  by 
Charles  Geake. 

This  is,  I  think,  in  some  respects  the  most  remarkable  dinner 
at  which  I  have  had  the  honor  of  assisting.  So  brilliant  is  the 
gatherin  ;  that  I  would  almost  seem  to  require  a  pair  of  smoked 
glasses  to  contemplate  the  various  dazzling  celebrities  who  owe 
their  various  successes  to  Eton,  and  who  are  assembled  round 
this  table.  And  I  should  be  for  my  part  extremely  uneasy  at 
my  position  in  the  chair  were  it  not  that  I  well  understand  that, 
on  an  occasion  like  this,  the  best  services  a  chairman  can  render 
is  to  say  as  little  as  possible  and  to  obliterate  himself.  I  remem- 
ber a  story  that  the  late  Lord  Granville  used  to  tell  me — for 
dinners  to  outgoing  Viceroys  and  Governors  had  not  been  hitherto 
unknown — they  were  habitual.  Lord  Granville  was  a  guest  at 
a  dinner  to  an  outgoing  Governor  of  very  indifferent  powers 
of  speaking,  and  as  the  Governor  designated  labored  through 
his  speech  Lord  Granville  in  sheer  weariness  cast  his  eye  on  the 
notes  of  the  speech  that  lay  before  him  and  saw  marked  in  red 
ink,  copiously  underlined,  the  words,  "Here  dilate  on  the  cotton 
trade."  I  forget  the  end  of  the  story,  but  with  a  man  of  Lord 
Granville's  readiness  of  resource  it  is  not  difficulty  to  surmise 
that  those  notes  disappeared  on  the  instant  and  that  the  orator 
very  soon  followed  their  example.  I  shall  not  be  guilty  to-night, 
and  I  trust  that  the  numerous  Viceroys  who  bristle  around  me 

160 


ETON  m 

and  who  are  announced  to  speak  will  not  either,  of  dilating  on 
the  cotton  trade,  and  I  think  that  that  is  a  course  that  will  meet 
with  your  approbation. 

But  there  is  another  reason  that  makes  it  impossible  to  speak 
long  on  this  occasion.  There  is  a  theory,  well  known  to  the 
Foreign  Office,  that  every  ship  of  war  is,  wherever  it  may  be 
found,  the  territory  of  the  country  to  which  it  belongs,  and  on 
that  hypothesis  I  hold  that  this  apartment,  which  bears  all  the 
characteristics  of  a  London  coffee-room  of  the  most  refined  and 
brilliant  kind,  is  after  all,  Eton  territory — is  Eton;  and  no  one 
who  has  had  experience  of  the  debates  of  Parliament,  or  even 
of  the  conversation  of  Etonians  when  we  were  Etonians,  will 
think  for  a  moment  otherwise  than  that  brevity  is  the  soul  of 
wit.  The  words  ''rot"  and  ''bosh"  would  have  been  applied — 
not,  perhaps,  improperly — to  any  one  who  exceeded  the  limits 
of  perhaps  three  or  four  minutes.  This  leads  me  into  a  vein 
of  thought  which  is  not  without  its  complications.  If  this  is 
Eton  territory,  one  at  most  feels  as  if  the  celebration  should  be 
essentially  Etonian  in  more  ways  than  one,  and  I  seem  to  see, 
through  a  glass  darkly,  the  vision  of  our  Viceroys  and  Bishop- 
designate  drinking  "long  glass"  as  part  of  their  initiation. 
On  the  present  occasion  there  is  no  "long  glass"  present,  or  I 
am  sure  that  I  should  receive  your  support  in  moving  that  that 
ceremony  should  be  undergone. 

Yet,  after  all,  there  are  circumstances  in  this  gathering  that 
are  not  so  hilarious.  It  is  pretty  clear  that  we  are  all  of  us  a 
long  way  from  Eton,  a  long  way  from  ' '  bosh, ' '  a  long  way  from 
"rot,"  and  the  other  associations  that  I  have  endeavored  to 
recall.  We  are  not,  indeed,  without  connection  with  Eton.  We 
are  honored  to-night  with  the  presence  of  the  Provost  and  the 
Headmaster;  but  otherwise  our  associations  with  Eton  are  get- 
ting somewhat  dim  and  distant.  They  are  represented  chiefly 
by  the  presence  of  our  relations  in  the  first,  second  and  third 
generation  who  are  privileged  to  be  pupils  within  its  walls,  and 
I  am  not  sure  that  there  is  not  an  intensified  feeling  of  gloom 
at  finding  that  you  have  among  your  juniors  at  Eton  a  Viceroy 
of  India  and  a  Bishop  of  Calcutta  going  forth  in  the  full 


162  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

maturity  of  their  powers  to  discharge  those  important  functions. 
But,  after  all,  that  is  a  fate  that  had  to  come  to  all  of  us  at 
some  time  or  another.  "We  had  to  draw  a  lengthening  chain, 
lengthening  daily  as  regards  our  connection  with  Eton.  We 
must  be  prepared  to  see  our  successors  grow  up,  and  we  must — 
it  sounds  trite  to  say  so — be  prepared  to  feel  a  little  older  every 
day.  But  there  is  one  consolation  in  getting  older  as  an  Etonian 
— ^that  you  keep  the  pride  that  has  always  been  in  you  since  you 
went  to  Eton,  the  pride  of  the  prowess  of  your  school.  I  never 
knew  but  one  Etonian  who  said  he  did  not  like  Eton,  and  he 
very  soon  went  to  the  devil.  At  any  rate,  whether  we  are  privi- 
leged to  be  Viceroys  or  Bishops,  or  have  to  lead  a  life  of  greater 
obscurity,  we  at  any  rate  may  glory  in  this — ^that  we  belong  to 
the  school  that  with  an  everlasting  current  of  eternal  flow  turns 
out  the  Viceroys  and  the  Bishops  and  the  Ministers  of  the  Empire 
that  the  Empire  requires. 

The  Duke  of  Wellington  said — and  I  am  sure  you  will  expect 
this  quotation — that  in  the  playing-fields  of  Eton — ^he  did  not 
know  how  far  they  were  to  extend,  what  deserts  they  were  to 
encompass — the  battle  of  Waterloo  was  won.  But  a  great  deal 
more  than  the  battle  of  Waterloo  has  been  won  in  the  playing- 
fields  of  Eton,  and  that  somewhat  presumptuous  list  that  is 
printed  on  the  back  of  our  bill  of  fare  calls  to  mind  how  in  at 
least  two  great  dependencies  of  the  Empire — ^the  Indian  Empire 
and,  if  I  may  so  call  it,  the  Canadian  Empire — Eton  has  played 
a  conspicuous  part.  What,  for  example,  would  Canada  have 
done  without  Eton,  when  out  of  the  last  six  Viceroys  all  but  one 
are  Etonians?  And  although  my  friend  Lord  Aberdeen  is  an 
unhappy  exception,  I  do  not  doubt  but  if  he  could  have  been 
he  would  have  been  an  Etonian.  Is  there  not  something  pathetic 
to  us  in  our  Alma  Mater  going  on  turning  out  the  men  who 
govern  the  Empire  almost,  as  it  were,  unconsciously?  But, 
although  I  speak  in  the  presence  of  the  Provost,  of  the  Head- 
master, of  Mr.  Durnford,  of  Mr.  Ainger,  of  Mr.  Marindin,  and 
of  other  great  guides  of  Etonian  thought,  they  will  not,  I  think, 
dispute  the  proposition  when  I  say  that,  however  great  the 
learning  that  Etonians  take  from  Eton  may  be,  the  highest  and 


ETON  163 

best  part  of  their  education  is  not  the  education  of  the  brain, 
but  the  education  of  the  character.  It  is  character  that  has 
made  the  Empire  what  it  is  and  the  rulers  of  the  Empire  what 
they  are.  I  will  not  dilate  longer  on  this  theme.  I  wish  only 
to  play  a  slightly  conspicuous  part  on  this  occasion,  and,  after 
all,  if  we  were  once  to  begin  to  dilate  on  the  merits  and  the 
glories  of  Eton,  we  should  not  separate  to-night.  There  is 
another  reason  that  appeals  to  me  to  curtail  these  remarks. 

One  of  our  distinguished  guests,  though  he  was  bom  and 
nurtured  and  trained  at  Eton,  has  up  to  very  lately  occupied 
the  position  of  headmaster  of  an  establishment  which  I  perhaps 
ought  not  to  name  on  this  occasion,  but  which  I  am  sorry  to 
say  is  painfully  present  to  our  minds  about  the  middle  of  July. 
I  have  no  doubt  Mr.  "Welldon's  Etonian  experience  has  moulded 
Harrow  into  something  more  like  Eton  than  it  used  to  be.  Of 
course,  of  that  I  have  no  personal  experience  or  knowledge; 
but  this  I  do  know,  that,  making  a  great  sacrifice,  as  men  call 
sacrifice,  in  position  and  perhaps  prestige,  giving  up  one  of  the 
most  envied  of  all  English  positions,  he  is  going  out  to  take  the 
Bishopric  of  Calcutta  under  circumstances  which  must  com- 
mend him  to  all  brother  Etonians.  He  is  going  to  fill  the  See 
of  Heber,  animated,  as  I  believe,  by  the  principles  of  that  noble 
hymn  which  Heber  wrote,  and  I  firmly  believe  that  one  result 
of  his  stay  in  India  will  be  that  he  will  have  imparted  a  new 
breath  of  inspiration  to  Indian  Christianity. 

I  next  come  to  my  old  college  contemporary.  Lord  Minto.  To 
most  of  us  he  is  better  known  as  Melgund,  to  some  of  us  as 
Rowley.  Lord  Minto  *s  position  raises  in  my  mind  a  controversy 
which  has  never  ceased  to  rage  in  it  since  I  was  thirteen  years 
old.  I  have  never  been  able  to  make  out  which  has  the  greatest 
share*  in  the  government  of  this  Empire — Scotland  or  Eton.  I 
am  quite  prepared  to  give  up  our  fighting  powers  to  Ireland 
because  when  we  have  from  Ireland  Wolseley  and  Kitchener 
and  Roberts  I  am  sure  that  Scotland  and  Eton  cannot  compete. 
But  when,  as  in  Lord  Minto 's  case,  Scotland  and  Eton  are  com- 
bined, you  have  something  so  irresistible  that  it  hardly  is  within 
the  powers  of  human  eloquence  to  describe  it.     Lord  Minto 


lei  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

comes  of  a  governing  family — indeed  at  one  time  it  was  thought 
to  be  too  governing  a  family.  Under  former  auspices  it  was 
felt  that  the  Elliots  perhaps  bulked  too  largely  in  the  adminis- 
tration of  the  nation.  At  any  rate,  whether  it  was  so  or  not, 
it  was  achieved  by  their  merits,  and  there  has  been  a  Viceroy 
Lord  Minto  already.  There  have  been  innumerable  distinguished 
members  of  the  family  in  the  last  century,  and  there  has  also 
been  a  person,  I  think,  distinguished  above  all  others — ^that 
Hugh  Elliot  who  defeated  Frederick  the  Great  in  repartee  at 
the  very  summit  of  his  reputation,  and  went  through  every 
adventure  that  a  diplomatist  can  experience.  And  now  Lord 
Minto  goes  to  Canada.  I  am  quite  certain,  from  his  experience, 
from  his  character  and  knowledge,  from  his  popularity,  that  he 
is  destined  to  make  an  abiding  mark. 

Lastly,  I  take  the  case  of  our  friend  who  is  going  to  under- 
take the  highest  post  of  the  three,  because,  after  all,  it  is  one  of 
the  highest  posts  that  any  human  being  can  occupy.  He  goes 
to  it  in  the  full  flower  of  youth,  and  of  manhood,  and  of  success 
— a  combination  to  which  everyone  must  wish  well.  Lord  Curzon 
has  this  additional  advantage  in  his  favor — ^that  he  is  reviving 
a  dormant  class,  the  Irish  peerage.  Some  might  think  that  that 
implied  some  new  legislative  or  constitutional  development  on 
the  part  of  her  Majesty's  Government,  but  it  would  be  out  of 
my  place  to  surmise  that  to  be  the  ease.  But,  at  any  rate,  sure 
I  am  of  this — that  Lord  Curzon  of  Kedleston  has  shown  in  his 
position  at  the  Foreign  Office  qualities  of  eloquence,  of  debating 
power,  of  argument,  which  have  hardly  been  surpassed  in  the 
career  of  any  man  of  his  standing.  I  cannot  say — it  would  be 
difficult  to  say — ^that  he  has  done  so  in  defense  of  difficult  posi- 
tions, because  that  would  be  at  once  to  raise  a  political  issue 
of  the  very  gravest  kind.  But  I  am  quite  sure  that  no  Under- 
Secretary  has  ever  had  to  defend  in  the  House  of  Commons  any 
but  positions  of  difficulty,  and  I  think  the  foreign  situations  are 
always  of  that  character.  I  am  quite  sure  that  when  Lord 
Curzon  has  had  to  defend  these  situations  he  has  defended  them 
with  not  less  than  his  customary  success.  He  has  devoted  special 
study  to  India.     I  believe  he  has  even  entered  into  amicable 


ETON  165 

relations  with  neighboring  potentates.  He  will  pass  from  his 
home  of  Kedleston  in  Derbyshire  to  the  exact  reproduction  of 
Kedleston  in  Government  House,  Calcutta.  We  all  hope  that  in 
his  time  India  may  enjoy  a  prosperity  which  has  of  late  been 
denied  to  her,  and  that  immunity  from  war  and  famine  and 
pestilence  may  be  the  blessed  prerogative  of  Lord  Curzon's 
Viceroyalty.  I  have  only  one  word  more  to  say  before  I  sit 
down,  and  it  is  this — I  think  we  all  must  have  in  our  minds,  at 
least  some  of  us  must  have  in  our  minds,  some  immortal  words  on 
the  occasion  of  this  gathering  so  interesting  and  even  so  thrilling. 
Do  you  all  remember  the  beginning  of  the  tragedy  of  **  Mac- 
beth?" 

The  first  witch  says: 

"When  shall  we  three  meet  again, 
In  thunder,  lightning,  or  in  rain?" 

The  second  witch  replies: 

"When  the  hurly-hurly's  done. 
When  the  battle's  lost  and  won." 

Surely  these  significant  words  must  be  present  to  us  to-night. 
You  are  sending  out  three  eminent  men  on  three  vitally  important 
missions  to  different  parts  of  the  Empire.  Two  of  them,  at  any 
rate,  go  for  periods  of  five  years,  and  we  must  think  even  in 
this  moment  of  triumph  and  of  joy  of  the  period  of  their  return, 
"When  shall  we  three  meet  again?"  That  must  be  in  their 
minds,  too ;  but  this  at  least  we  may  be  sure  of :  if  we.  are  here 
present,  or  some  of  us,  to  greet  them  on  their  return  when  the 
hurly-burly 's  done  and  when  the  battle  is  not  lost — for  we 
exclude  that — ^when  the  battle  is  won,  they  wiU  have  a  tale  of 
stewardship  which  is  nobly  undertaken  and  triumphantly 
achieved,  one  which  has  helped  to  weld  the  Empire  which  we 
all  have  it  at  heart  to  maintain,  one  which  will  redound  to  their 
own  credit,  and  which  wiU  do  if  even  but  a  little — for  there  is 
80  much  to  be  added  to — to  add  to  their  glory  and  the  credit  of 
our  mother  Eton.  I  propose  the  health  of  Lord  Minto,  Lord 
Curzon,  and  the  Rev.  J.  E.  C.  Welldon. 


OMAR  KHAYYAM. 

Jomr  Hay. 

This  address  was  delivered  at  the  dinner  of  the  Omar  Khayy&m 
Club,  London,  December  eighth,  1897.  Mr.  Hay  was  the  guest  of  the 
Club. 

I  cannot  sufficiently  thank  you  for  the  high  and  unmerited 
honor  you  have  done  me  to-night.  I  feel  keenly  that  on  such  an 
occasion,  with  such  company,  my  place  is  below  the  salt ;  but  as 
you  kindly  invited  me,  it  was  not  in  human  nature  for  me  to 
refuse. 

Although  in  knowledge  and  comprehension  of  the  two  great 
poets  whom  you  are  met  to  commemorate  I  am  the  least  among 
you,  there  is  no  one  who  regards  them  with  greater  admiration, 
or  reads  them  with  more  enjoyment,  than  myself.  I  can  never 
forget  my  emotions  when  I  first  saw  FitzGerald's  translations 
of  the  Quatrains.  Keats,  in  his  sublime  ode  on  Chapman's 
Homer,  has  described  the  sensation  once  for  all : 

Then  felt  I  like  some  watcher  of  the  skies 
When  a  new  planet  swims  into  his  ken. 

The  exquisite  beauty,  the  faultless  form,  the  singular  grace  of 
those  amazing  stanzas  were  not  more  wonderful  than  the  depth 
and  breadth  of  their  profound  philosophy,  their  knowledge  of 
life,  their  dauntless  courage,  their  serene  facing  of  the  ultimate 
problems  of  life  and  of  death.  Of  course  the  doubt  did  not 
spare  me,  which  has  assailed  many  as  ignorant  as  I  was  of  the 
literature  of  the  East,  whether  it  was  the  poet  or  his  translator 
to  whom  was  due  this  splendid  result.  "Was  it,  in  fact,  a  repro- 
duction of  an  antique  song,  or  a  mystification  of  a  great  modern, 
careless  of  fame  and  scornful  of  his  time  ?  Could  it  be  possible 
that  in  the  eleventh  century,  so  far  away  as  Khorassan,  so  accom- 
plished a  man  of  letters  lived,   with  such   distinction,   such 

166 


OMAR  KHAYYAM  167 

breadth,  such  insight,  such  calm  disillusion,  such  cheerful  and 
jocund  despair?  Was  this  Weltschmerz,  which  we  thought  a 
malady  of  our  day,  endemic  in  Persia  in  1100  ?  My  doubt  only 
lasted  till  I  came  upon  a  literal  translation  of  the  Rubaiyat,  and 
I  saw  that  not  the  least  remarkable  quality  of  FitzGerald's 
poem  was  its  fidelity  to  the  original.  In  short,  Omar  was  a 
FitzGerald  before  the  letter,  or  FitzGerald  was  a  reincarnation 
of  Omar. 

It  is  not  to  the  disadvantage  of  the  later  poet  that  he  fol- 
lowed so  closely  in  the  footsteps  of  the  earlier.  A  man  of 
extraordinary  genius  had  appeared  in  the  world;  had  sung  a 
song  of  incomparable  beauty  and  power  in  an  environment  no 
longer  worthy  of  him,  in  a  language  of  narrow  range ;  for  many 
generations  the  song  was  virtually  lost;  then  by  a  miracle  of 
creation,  a  poet,  twin-brother  in  the  spirit  to  the  first,  was  born, 
who  took  up  the  forgotten  poem  and  sang  it  anew  with  all  its 
original  melody  and  force,  and  with  all  the  accumulated  refine- 
ment of  ages  of  art.  It  seems  to  me  idle  to  ask  which  was  the 
greater  master;  each  seems  greater  than  his  work.  The  song 
is  like  an  instrument  of  precious  workmanship  and  marvelous 
tone,  which  is  worthless  in  common  hands,  but  when  it  falls,  at 
long  intervals,  into  the  hands  of  the  supreme  master,  it  yields 
a  melody  of  transcendent  enchantment  to  all  that  have  ears 
to  hear. 

If  we  look  at  the  sphere  of  influence  of  the  two  poets,  there 
is  no  longer  any  comparison.  Omar  sang  to  a  half-barbarous 
province;  FitzGerald  to  the  world.  Wherever  the  English 
speech  is  spoken  or  read,  the  Rubaiyat  have  taken  their  place 
as  a  classic.  There  is  not  a  hill-post  in  India,  nor  a  village  in 
England,  where  there  is  not  a  coterie  to  whom  Omar  Khayyam 
is  a  familiar  friend  and  a  bond  of  union.  In  America  he  has  an 
equal  following,  in  many  regions  and  conditions.  In  the  Eastern 
States  his  adepts  form  an  esoteric  set;  the  beautiful  volume  of 
drawings  by  Mr.  Vedder  is  a  center  of  delight  and  suggestion 
wherever  it  exists.  In  the  cities  of  the  West  you  will  find  the 
Quatrains  one  of  the  most  thoroughly  read  books  in  every  club 
library.    I  heard  them  quoted  once  in  one  of  the  most  lonely 


168  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

and  desolate  spots  of  the  high  Rockies.  We  had  been  camping 
on  the  Great  Divide,  our  "roof  of  the  world,"  where  in  the 
space  of  a  few  feet  you  may  see  two  springs,  one  sending  its 
waters  to  the  Polar  solitudes,  the  other  to  the  eternal  Carib 
summer.  One  morning  at  sunrise,  as  we  were  breaking  camp, 
I  was  startled  to  hear  one  of  our  party,  a  frontiersman  born, 
intoning  these  words  of  somber  majesty: 

*Tis  but  a  tent  where  takes  his  one  day's  rest 
A  Sultan  to  the  realm  of  death  addrest; 
The  Sultan  rises,  and  the  dark  FerrSsh 
Strikes  and  prepares  it  for  another  guest. 

I  thought  that  sublime  setting  of  primeval  forest  and  frown- 
ing canon  was  worthy  of  the  lines ;  I  am  sure  the  dewless,  crys- 
talline air  never  vibrated  to  strains  of  more  solemn  music. 

Certainly,  our  poet  can  never  be  numbered  among  the  great 
popular  writers  of  all  time.  He  has  told  no  story ;  he  has  never 
unpacked  his  heart  in  public;  he  has  never  thrown  the  reins 
on  the  neck  of  the  winged  horse,  and  let  his  imagination  carry 
him  where  it  listed.  *  *  Oh !  the  crowd  must  have  emphatic  war- 
rant," as  Browning  sang.  Its  suffrages  are  not  for  the  cool,  col- 
lected observer,  whose  eyes  no  glitter  can  dazzle,  no  mist  suffuse. 
The  many  cannot  but  resent  that  air  of  lofty  intelligence,  that 
pale  and  subtle  smile.  But  he  will  hold  place  forever  among 
that  limited  number  who,  like  Lucretius  and  Epicurus, — ^with- 
out rage  or  defiance,  even  without  unbecoming  mirth, — ^look  deep 
into  the  tangled  mysteries  of  things;  refuse  credence  to  the 
absurd,  and  allegiance  to  arrogant  authority;  sufficiently  con- 
scious of  fallibility  to  be  tolerant  of  all  opinions;  with  a  faith 
too  wide  for  doctrine  and  a  benevolence  untrammeled  by  creed, 
too  wise  to  be  wholly  poets,  and  yet  too  surely  poets  to  be 
implacably  wise. 


THE  HASTY  PUDDING  CLUB. 

Joseph  H.  Choate. 

In  the  preface  to  his  "American  Addresses,"  published  by  The 
Century  Company,  Mr.  Choate  says,  "The  celebration  of  the  centennial 
of  the  Hasty  Pudding  Club  was  another  interesting  occasion  at  Har- 
vard, where,  since  the  days  of  its  most  distinguished  founder,  Horace 
Binney,  it  has  been  the  centre  of  undergraduate  fun  and  recreation. 
I  am  not  sure  but  that  some  of  its  members  have  derived  as  much 
benefit  from  its  associations  as  from  the  more  serious  curriculum  of 
the  University,  and  am  certain  they  cherish  a  livelier  recollection  of 
them.  At  all  events,  the  centennial  of  the  Club  was  deemed  a  suit- 
able occasion  for  the  choicest  spirits  to  come  together,  and  make  good 
Its  renowned  motto  of  'concordia  discors,'  and  when  I  was  called  upon 
to  lead  their  revels,  I  was  by  no  means  reluctant  to  do  so."  The 
time  of  the  Club's  centennial  was  November  twenty-fourth,  1895. 

Brethren:  We  have  come  together  to  celebrate  the  founda- 
tion of  the  Hasty  Pudding  Club,  a  signal  event  in  the  history 
of  Harvard,  for  it  has  certainly  done  a  vast  deal  to  mitigate 
the  austerities  of  college  life,  and  to  alleviate  its  **most  distress- 
ing occurrences" — perhaps  as  much  as  all  its  other  institutions 
combined. 

We  call  it  our  centennial,  but  the  mists  of  tradition  have 
thrown  a  halo  of  uncertainty  about  the  origin  of  the  Club  which 
probably  can  never  be  quite  cleared  up.  If  we  can  recall  the 
words  of  Theodore  Lyman's  Pudding  Song  (and  you  will  per- 
mit me  to  adopt  it  as  part  of  my  address  to-night),  its  first  con- 
ception was  in  the  good  Old  Colony  days  soon  after  the  landing 
of  the  Pilgrims  on  Plymouth  Kock,  and  Miles  Standish  himself 
took  part  in  its  foundation  in  company  with  a  famous  Indian 
warrior.  Some  words  in  the  song  are  a  little  archaic,  but  you 
will  like  it  none  the  less  for  that.  This  song  had  a  great  cur- 
rency in  the  Club  in  the  old  days,  although  it  seems  since  to 
have  fallen  into  "innocuous  desuetude,"  but  I  am  sure  that  it 
will  set  the  keynote  for  this  august  occasion,  if  we  all  join  in 

168 


170  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

singing  it  under  the  lead  of  Lyman's  classmate,   Reed,  who 
knows  its  history  well. 

Long  since,  when  our  forefathers  landed 

On  barren  rock  bleak  and  forlorn 
They  left  their  little  boat  stranded, 

To  search  through  the  wild  woods  for  corn. 
Soon  some  hillocks  of  earth  met  their  gaze, 

Like  altars  of  mystical  spell; 
But  within  finding  Indian  maize, 

Amazement  on  all  of  them  fell. 

Quoth  Standish:    "Right  hard  have  we  tolled, 

A  dinner  we'll  have  before  long; 
A  pudding  shall  quickly  be  boiled 

By  help  of  the  Lord  and  the  corn." 
At  that  moment  the  warwhoop  resounded 

O'er  mountain  and  valley  and  glen, 
And  a  Choctaw  chief  savagely  bounded 

To  slaughter  those  corn-stealing  men. 

"Ha!    vile  Pagan!"  the  Captain  quoth  he, 

"  'Tis  true  that  we've  taken  a  horn. 
But  though  corned  we  all  of  us  be, 

We  ne'er  will  acknowledge  the  corn." 
Then  with  a  wooden  spoon  held  in  his  hand. 

He  seized  his  red  foe  by  the  nose. 
And  with  pudding  his  belly  he  crammed 

In  spite  of  his  struggles  and  throes. 

The  victor  triumphantly  grasped 

The  hair  of  his  foe  closely  shorn. 
While  the  savage  he  struggled  and  gasped, 

O'erpowered  by  heat  and  by  corn. 
"Be  converted!"  the  good  Standish  said. 

Or  surely  by  fire  you  will  die, 
Though  on  boiled  thus  far  you  have  fed. 

We  quickly  will  give  you  a  fry." 

Then  straight  was  the  savage  baptized. 

In  pudding  all  smoking  and  warm. 
While  the  Parson  he  him  catechized 

Concerning  the  cooking  of  corn. 


THE  HASTY  PUDDING  CLUB  171 

Then  the  Puritans  chanted  a  psalm 

With  a  chorus  of,  "Hey-rub-a-dub," 
And  amid  gentle  music's  soft  charm 

They  founded  the  great  Pudding  Club. 

And  now  that  in  this  delightful  harmony  we  all  have  mel- 
lowed together,  from  Dr.  "Wyman  of  the  class  of  1833,  whom  we 
joyfully  greet  here  to-night  as  the  patriarch  of  us  all,  to  the 
latest  neophyte  of  1897,  we  can  take  our  stand  on  the  solid 
groundwork  of  history  and  locate  the  actual  organization  of 
the  Club  in  1795  by  Horace  Binney,  of  Philadelphia,  and  Judge 
"White,  of  Salem,  who  shared  with  him  the  first  honors  of  the 
class  of  1797,  and  Dr.  John  Collins  Warren  of  the  same  class, 
all  three  of  whom  afterwards  became  very  eminent  citizens  of 
the  United  States.  These  men  certainly  in  their  youth  thus  ren- 
dered a  great  service  to  the  college  for  their  own  day,  and  for 
all  coming  time,  by  the  promotion  of  sociability  and  by  advanc- 
ing good  fellowship  among  the  members  of  the  Club,  From  that 
day  to  this,  the  Club  has  been  true  to  its  original  motto  of 
** Concordia  discors,*^  and  has  well  maintained  the  standard  of 
innocent  and  reasonable  recreation  amid  the  serious  duties  of 
life.  The  only  wonder  is  that  the  students  of  a  college  in  which 
the  curriculum  included  Horace  had  not  learned  long  before 
how  "dulce  est  d^sipere  in  loco."  That  is  exactly  what  we  have 
been  doing  in  the  last  hundred  years,  and  we  mean  to  go  on 
doing  it  forever. 

Now,  brethren,  a  word  of  explanation.  When  I  came  here 
this  evening  I  found  that  no  arrangement  had  been  made  as  to 
who  should  sit  at  the  central  table,  and  I  took  the  liberty  of 
inviting  these  venerable  men  who  sit  around  me,  following  the 
old  rule  of  the  college  that  the  members  should  enter  the  banquet 
hall  and  take  rank  according  to  the  years  of  their  respective 
classes,  much  as  Lowell  laid  down  in  his  essay,  that  those  should 
have  the  best  chance  to  eat  the  dinner  who  had  the  poorest  teeth 
to  eat  it  with,  and  the  poorest  ears  to  hear  the  speeches. 

My  first  duty  is  to  tell  you  how  deeply  sensible  I  am  of  the 
honor  that  you  have  conferred  upon  me  in  asking  roe  to  preside 
over  your  deliberations  this  evening.    It  is  an  honor  that  can 


172  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

come  only  once  in  a  hundred  years.  It  came  in  a  most  opportune 
time  for  me,  as  testifying  to  the  respect  that  the  rising  generation 
entertain  for  those  of  us  who  are  passing  beyond  them  in  the 
march  of  years,  for  I  had  just  read  in  a  New  York  newspaper 
that  some  of  the  younger  legal  lights  had  spoken  of  Mr.  Carter 
and  Mr.  Choate  as  "moss-grown  old  fogies"  who  must  soon  yield 
their  places  to  the  younger  members  of  the  bar. 

It  is  not  the  first  time  that  I  had  a  difficult  honor  thrust  upon 
me  by  the  Pudding.  In  1851  I  was  classed  among  its  lyric 
poets,  and  then,  like  Horace,  I  struck  the  stars  with  my  head 
sublime.  But  the  stars  were  not  damaged.  I  had  a  big  head  for 
a  few  days  or  more,  but  nothing  came  of  it.  That  was  my  first 
and  last  poetic  utterance. 

Doubtless  the  grim  discipline  of  the  Puritans  held  on  too 
long  at  Harvard.  But  even  in  the  grimmest  of  Puritan  days  we 
might  have  borrowed  the  chaste  language  of  Milton,  who  invented 
the  most  excellent  motto  for  the  cardinal  principle  of  the  Club : 

"Mirth,  admit  me  of  thy  crew. 
To  live  with  her  and  live  with  thee. 
In  unreproved  pleasures  free." 

Or  what  will  you  say  to  the  words  of  our  American  bard,  Joel 
Barlow,  who,  as  tradition  tells,  first  suggested  the  rich  inspira- 
tion of  Hasty  Pudding: 

"I  sing  the  joys  I  know,  the  charms  I  feel. 
My  morning  incense  and  my  evening  meal; 
The  sweets  of  hasty  pudding. 
Come,  dear  bowl,  glide  o'er  my  palate  and  inspire  my  soul. 

Never  was  there  an  association  of  men  who  had  so  good  a  right 
to  celebrate  their  centennial  as  this  Club.  A  century  looks 
down  into  the  pot  and  finds  it  bubbling  and  singing  and 
gurgling  with  the  same  jovial  note  that  it  had  when  Horace 
Binney  ladled  it  out  to  feed  the  men  of  1795. 

It  was  not  their  hungry  palates,  but  their  hungry  souls  that 
were  aspiring  for  food.  How  busy  our  College  had  been  in 
the  process  of  gestation  before  the  time  we  celebrate  to-night 


THE  HASTY  PUDDING  CLUB  173 

in  breeding  heroes  for  the  State  in  the  coming  days  that  were 
to  try  men's  souls!  You  all  remember  how  Harvard  suffered, 
when  those  deadly  days  of  peril  came.  There  were  men  present 
at  the  foundation  of  the  Club  whose  fathers  had  seen  the  college 
buildings  converted  into  barracks  for  the  colonial  soldiers. 
There  were  buxom  matrons,  who,  as  maidens,  had  seen  the  hand- 
some Virginia  General  flourish  his  sword  under  the  shadow  of 
the  old  elm  as  he  took  command  of  the  New  England  troops,  or, 
as  Lowell  put  it,  always  putting  the  right  word  in  the  right 
place,  **He  had  come  to  wield  our  homespun  Saxon  chivalry." 

But  better  days  had  come.  Those  days  of  want  and  famine 
and  pestilence  had  passed  away.  Those  trying  days  of  hardship 
after  the  war,  almost  perilous  as  the  war  itself,  had  been  strug- 
gled through.  Washington  was  President,  and  Jay's  treaty, 
which  caused  so  much  strife  and  commotion,  had  just  been 
ratified  by  the  Senate.  It  was  a  time  of  far  brighter  days;  it 
was  the  dawn  of  a  new  era  for  America,  the  time  of  a  new 
departure. 

I  am  always  accused,  at  Harvard  dinners  in  New  York,  of 
speaking  by  the  catalogue.  Well,  let  the  names  upon  the  Pud- 
ding catalogue  of  this  century  tell  their  own  story;  let  us  see 
if,  by  the  mingling  of  play  with  work,  anybody  has  suffered. 
Let  us  see  whether,  by  making  out  of  duty  itself  the  merriest 
play,  we  have  failed  in  any  instance.  What  say  you  to  this? 
Did  Channing  and  Buckminster  and  James  Walker  and  Phillips 
Brooks,  lead  their  followers  into  the  verdant  pastures  with  less 
of  divinity  itself,  because  they  had  disported  themselves  in 
former  years  in  the  Club?  Did  our  historians,  Bancroft  and 
Prescott  and  the  recently  lamented  Parkman  contribute  any 
less  delightful  lessons  to  their  countrymen  because  they  had 
gathered  around  the  crackling  fire  of  the  Pudding?  Did  our 
orators,  such  men  as  Wendell  Phillips,  Charles  Sumner  and 
Robert  C.  Winthrop,  speak  with  less  inspiration  because,  in 
their  boyhood  days  they  had  indulged  in  the  ribald  laugh  and 
tried  their  first  eloquence  before  their  brethren  of  the  Pudding  ? 
Were  the  lips  of  our  two  great  poets,  Holmes  and  Lowell,  touched 
with  less  divine  a  fire  because  they  had  lisped  their  first  numbers 


174  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

to  their  brethren  of  the  Club,  in  whose  records  they  stand 
imperishably  recorded? 

Now  I  am  not  inclined  to  claim  for  the  Hasty  Pudding  Club 
all  the  success  that  has  come  to  Harvard  College.  But  when  I 
see  its  history  outlined  as  we  have  it  to-night,  when  we  see  the 
cream  of  the  college  in  successive  generations  enrolled  in  its 
ranks,  and  participating  in  all  great  deeds,  all  great  services,  all 
great  triumphs  for  the  public  good,  it  behooves  us  to  keep  this 
Club  pure  and  sweet  and  good  as  it  always  has  been,  and  one  of 
the  great  influences  for  education  and  truth  and  good  morals  at 
Harvard  for  all  time. 


NOBLESSE  OBLIGE. 

George  William  Curtis. 

George  William  Curtis,  at  the  Harvard  Alumni  dinner  in  Can> 
bridge,  June  twenty-ninth,  1881,  responded  to  this  toast.  At  this  time 
he  received  the  honorary  degree  of  LL.D.  from  Harvard. 

Mr.  President  and  Gentlemen:  In  the  old  Italian  story  the 
nobleman  turns  out  of  the  hot  street  crowded  with  eager  faces 
into  the  coolness  and  silence  of  his  palace.  As  he  looks  at  the 
pictures  of  the  long  line  of  ancestors,  he  hears  a  voice, — or  is 
it  his  own  heart  beating? — which  says  to  him,  nohlesse  oblige. 
The  youngest  scion  of  the  oldest  house  is  pledged  by  all  the 
virtues  and  honor  of  his  ancestry  to  a  life  not  unworthy  his 
lineage.  Mr.  President,  when  I  came  here  I  was  not  a  noble- 
man, but  to-day  I  have  been  ennobled.  The  youngest  doctor  of 
the  oldest  school,  I,  too,  say  with  the  Italian,  nohlesse  oblige. 
For  your  favor  is  not  approval  only;  it  is  admonition.  It  says 
not  alone,  "Well  done,"  but  **Come  up  higher."  I  am  pledged 
by  all  the  honorable  traditions  of  the  noble  family  into  which 
I  am  this  day  adopted  and  of  which  this  spacious  and  stately 
temple  is  the  memorial.  Christo  et  Ecclesice.  That  is  your 
motto.  And  yet,  as  I  look  around  this  hall  upon  the  portraits 
of  your  ancestry,  as  I  think  of  the  eminent  men,  your  children ; 
and  above  all  when  I  read  in  yonder  corridor,  rank  upon  rank, 
in  immortal  lines,  the  names  of  the  heroic  youth,  Integer  vitcB 
scelerisque  puris,  these  cold  stones  burn  and  glow;  and  as  I 
think  of  our  great  legend,  ''Fair  play  for  all  men,"  imperish- 
able because  written  in  their  hearts*  blood,  I  feel  that  to  your 
motto  one  word  might  well  be  added,  Christo  et  Ecclesia  et 
Civitati — To  Christ,  to  the  Church,  to  the  Commonwealth. 
[Applause.] 

A  complete  and  thorough  education,  Milton  tells  us,  is  that 
which  fits  a  man  for  the  performance  of  all  public  and  private 

175 


176  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

duties  in  peace  and  in  war.  That,  sir,  is  the  praise  of  this  col- 
lege. For  as  the  history  of  religious  liberty  in  America  shows 
what  Harvard  College  has  done  for  the  Church,  not  less  do  the 
annals  of  the  continent  attest  what  it  has  done  for  the  State, 
There  was  never  a  good  word  to  be  spoken,  nor  a  strong  blow 
to  be  struck,  nor  a  young  life  to  be  sacrificed  for  political  or 
civil  liberty,  that  Harvard  College  in  the  person  of  her  children 
was  not  there.  [Loud  applause,]  That  is  the  lesson  which 
I  read  in  your  pages  to-day.  From  your  Samuel  Adams  in 
Faneull  Hall,  your  James  Otis  in  the  courts  of  law,  your  Joseph 
Warren  upon  Bunker  Hill,  through  all  the  resplendent  succes- 
sion down  to  your  Charles  Sumner  in  the  forum,  your  Reveres, 
your  Shaw,  and  the  shining  host  of  their  brethren  in  the  field, 
attest  the  glory  of  Harvard  in  the  persons  of  her  children. 

"The  applause  of  listening  senates  to  command, 
The  threats  of  pain  and  ruin  to  despise; 
To  scatter  plenty  o'er  a  smiling  land 
And  read  their  history  in  a  nation's  eyes." 

And,  sir,  I  say  this  the  more  gladly  that  I  am  here  oflficially, 
the  representative  of  another  university.  The  University  of 
the  State  of  New  York  is  composed  of  all  the  chartered  col- 
legiate institutions  of  that  great  commonwealth,  and  as  a  regent 
of  that  university  I  offer  the  right  hand  of  fellowship  to  Har- 
vard College  of  all  the  colleges  of  the  Empire  State.  [Applause,] 
We  delight  to  believe,  gentlemen,  in  the  State  of  New  York, 
that  at  least  the  origin  of  our  public  school  system  is  one  with 
yours.  Religious  heroism  founded  New  England;  commercial 
enterprise  settled  New  York.  But  the  Pilgrims  brought  to 
Plymouth  and  the  Dutch  traders  brought  to  the  island  of  Man- 
hattan the  schoolmaster,  the  birch — the  birch,  Mr.  Chairman, 
which  your  tingling  memory,  I  am  sure,  records  as  being  so 
much  better  in  its  bark  than  in  its  bite,  [Laughter,]  The  birch 
of  the  first  schoolmaster  on  the  shores  of  the  Hudson  was  cut 
from  the  same  tree  with  that  of  your  Master  Cheever  and  your 
Master  Moody  on  the  shores  of  Essex,  training  Yankee  boys  for 
Harvard  College,      [Laughter  and  applause,]     And  although. 


NOBLESSE  OBLIGE  177 

sir,  with  the  magnanimity  of  New  York,  we  freely  admit  that 
twenty  years  before  there  was  a  Latin  school  in  that  city  New 
England  already  had  this  college,  and  although  as  late,  I  think, 
as  1658,  the  nearest  place  to  which  a  young  Dutchman  could  be 
sent  for  training  in  the  Latin  language  was  the  town  of  Boston ; 
yet  we  remember,  also,  that  if  New  York  lagged  a  little  in  her 
Latin  she  was  stoutly  the  defender  of  the  English  tongue ;  and 
it  is  among  our  proudest  traditions  in  that  State  that  New  York 
first  maintained  the  freedom  of  the  English  press  upon  the 
continent  against  European  power.     [Applause.] 

And  yet,  sir,  to  make  my  story  quite  complete,  and  to  adhere 
strictly  to  the  truth  of  history,  I  am  obliged  to  add  that  the 
royal  governor  bitterly  complained  that  those  who  asserted 
the  freedom  of  speech  in  New  York  were  tainted  with  Boston 
principles.     [Laughter  and  applause.] 

Yet,  gentlemen,  I  assure  you  that  we  have  our  extreme  con- 
solation. Our  earliest  annals  in  the  State  of  New  York  inform 
us  that  one  sachem  of  the  five  nations  of  New  York  was  in  the 
habit  of  driving  a  whole  tribe  of  New  England  Indians  before 
him  [laughter]  ;  and  it  is  even  recorded,  despite  the  observations 
and  implications  of  his  excellency  the  Governor,  that  one  New 
York  sachem  had  been  known  to  be  reverenced  throughout 
Massachusetts  Bay.  [Laughter.]  I  am  afraid,  sir,  that  the  bay 
has  lost  all  of  its  reverence  for  the  New  York  sachem  [loud 
laughter]  ;  and  happily  for  us,  sir,  as  your  President  knows,  the 
most  ferocious  of  our  native  tribes  in  the  City  of  New  York, 
the  tribe  of  Tammany,  now  confines  itself  to  internecine  war. 
[Laughter.]  And  yet,  when  I  look  upon  the  President  who 
fills  this  chair  to-day ;  when  I  think  of  that  other  gentleman  who 
will  fill  the  chair  at  the  Phi  Beta  Kappa  dinner  to-morrow; 
when  I  look  here  and  there  upon  those  gorgeous  feathers  and 
that  war  paint  which  has  gathered  to  these  council  fires  from 
beyond  the  Connecticut,  I  cannot  but  feel  that  the  New  York 
braves  are  here  to-day  in  some  force.  [Laughter  and  applause.] 
And  when  I  recall  that  event  to  which  our  President  has  alluded, 
that  foray  of  the  New  York  sachems  upon  the  New  England 
tribe  known  as  the  Overseers,  and  how  they  returned  to  their 


178  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

city  dancing — if  you  will  permit  me  the  expression — ^jigs  of 
joy  and  brandishing  their  Harvard  club  in  triumph  [laughter], 
I  cannot  help  feeling  that  history  is  reproducing  itself,  and 
that  we  have  seen  the  New  York  sachems  in  most  civilized  war- 
fare, not  wielding  the  scalping-knife,  but  simply  brandishing 
the  bellows  [laughter  and  applause],  and  blowing  their  enemy 
away.  [Applause.]  And  even  this  day,  sir,  as  our  tribes  upon 
the  shore  of  the  Hudson  look  across  to  Massachusetts,  it  is  no 
longer,  as  I  have  said,  with  the  scalping-knife  in  their  hands; 
but  they  shake  their  heads  sorrowfully,  even  in  Tammany  hall, 
and  as  they  see  you,  they  repeat  unconsciously  the  sentiment 
of  the  English  statesman,  **That  damned  morality  is  sure  to 
be  the  ruin  of  everything."     [Loud  laughter  and  applause.] 

When  the  first  deputation  came  from  the  New  Netherlands 
to  the  new  Plymouth,  the  historian  tells  us  it  was  like  the  meet- 
ing of  friends  and  comrades.  We  are  assisting  here  and  now  at 
the  last  meeting  of  these  two  colonies,  and  your  smiling  presence 
attests  that  it  is  still  a  meeting  of  friends  and  comrades.  If 
our  Cornell  sometimes  modestly  excels  with  the  oar  [laughter] ; 
if  our  Columbia,  not  in  some  unknown  New  London  of  a  New 
England,  but  in  the  neighborhood  of  old  London  in  old  England, 
teaches  the  crews  of  English  colleges  a  boating  skill  like  the 
Thames  upon  which  it  was  displayed — ^**  strong  without  rage, 
without  o'erflowing  full;"  if  our  KJnickerbocker  bat  and  ball  are 
sometimes  wreathed  with  the  laurels  of  friendly  victory ;  yet,  sir, 
in  all  the  collegiate  institutions,  not  in  New  York  alone,  but 
throughout  the  country,  as  I  am  sure  the  gentleman  on  my  right. 
President  Oilman,  will  attest,  there  is  no  grudging  of  any  honor- 
able precedence  to  this  venerable  mother,  the  Alma  Mater  of 
colleges  as  well  as  the  nourishing  parent  of  sound  learning  in 
America.     [Applause.] 

And  here,  gentlemen,  if  anywhere  in  the  country,  and  to-day 
if  on  any  day  in  the  year,  is  proven  the  faith  of  one  of  our  most 
distinguished  sons,  spoken  forty  years  ago  on  one  commencement 
day.  "Neither  years  nor  books  have  availed  to  extirpate  the 
prejudice  then  rooted  in  me  that  the  scholar  is  the  favorite  of 
heaven  and  earth,  the  excellency  of  his  country,  the  prince  of 


NOBLESSE  OBLIGE  179 

men."  His  own  life  has  amply  vindicated  his  words.  Like  a 
strain  of  commanding  music,  it  has  won  the  hearts  of  his  coun- 
trymen gladly  to  acknowledge  the  value,  the  dignity,  the 
immortal  power  of  the  scholar,  in  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 
[Loud  applause.]  Led  by  the  great  examples,  by  the  inspiring 
associations,  by  the  elevated  consecration  of  this  university, 
shall  not  every  commencement  day  send  us  forth  such  reinvigor- 
ated  resolution  to  live  worthily  of  this  mother,  that  every 
man  we  meet,  even  the  New  York  sachem,  shall  wish  they  were 
sons  of  Harvard?     [Loud  applause.] 


THE  COLONIES. 

Albert  Edward,  Prince  op  "Wales. 

At  the  banquet  given  at  Mansion  House,  London,  July  sixteenth, 
1881,  by  the  Lord  Mayor  of  London,  Sir  William  McArthur,  to  the 
Prince  of  Wales,  as  President  of  the  Colonial  Institute,  and  to  many 
governors,  premiers  and  administrators  representing  the  colonies,  the 
Prince,  later  crowned  King  of  England  as  Edward  VII,  responded  to 
the  toast  proposed  by  the  Lord  Mayor,  "The  health  of  the  Prince  of 
Wales,  the  Princess  of  Wales,  and  the  other  members  of  the  Royal 
Family." 

My  Lord  Mayor,  Your  Majesty,  My  Lords,  and  Gentlemen: 
For  the  kind  and  remarkably  flattering  way  in  which  you,  my 
Lord  Mayor,  have  been  good  enough  to  propose  this  toast,  and 
you,  my  lords  and  gentlemen,  for  the  kind  and  hearty  way  in 
which  you  have  received  it,  I  beg  to  offer  you  my  most  sincere 
thanks.  It  is  a  peculiar  pleasure  to  me  to  come  to  the  city, 
because  I  have  the  honor  of  being  one  of  its  freemen.  But  this 
is,  indeed,  a  very  special  dinner,  one  of  a  kind  that  I  do  not 
suppose  has  ever  been  given  before;  for  we  have  here  this 
evening  representatives  of  probably  every  Coloney  in  the  Empire. 
We  have  not  only  the  Secretary  of  the  Colonies,  but  Governors 
past  and  present,  ministers,  administrators,  and  agents,  are  all, 
I  think,  to  be  found  here  this  evening.  I  regret  that  it  has 
not  been  possible  for  me  to  see  half  or  one-third  of  the  Colonies 
which  it  has  been  the  good  fortune  of  my  brother,  the  Duke 
of  Edinburgh,  to  visit.  In  his  voyage  round  the  world  he  has 
had  opportunities  more  than  once  of  seeing  all  our  great  Colonies. 
Though  I  have  not  been  able  to  see  them,  or  have  seen  only  a 
small  portion  of  them,  you  may  rest  assured  it  does  not  diminish 
in  any  way  the  interest  I  take  in  them. 

It  is,  I  am  sorry  to  say,  now  going  on  twenty-one  years  since 
I  visited  our  large  North  American  Colonies.  Still,  though  I 
was  very  young  at  the  time,  the  remembrance  of  that  visit  is 

180 


THE  COLONIES  181 

as  deeply  imprinted  upon  my  memory  now  as  it  was  at  that 
time.  I  shall  never  forget  the  public  receptions  which  were 
accorded  to  me  in  Canada,  New  Brunswick,  Nova  Scotia,  and 
Prince  Edward  Island,  and  if  it  were  possible  for  me  at  any 
time  to  repeat  that  visit,  I  need  not  tell  you  gentlemen,  who  now 
represent  here  those  great  North  American  Colonies,  of  the  great 
pleasure  it  would  give  me  to  do  so.  It  affords  me  great  gratifi- 
cation to  see  an  old  friend.  Sir  John  Macdonald,  the  Premier  of 
Canada,  here  this  evening. 

It  was  a  most  pressing  invitation,  certainly,  that  I  received 
two  years  ago  to  visit  the  great  Australasian  Colonies,  and 
though  at  the  time  I  was  unable  to  give  an  answer  in  the  affirma- 
tive or  in  the  negative,  still  it  soon  became  apparent  that  my 
many  duties  here  in  England,  would  prevent  what  would  have 
been  a  long,  though  a  most  interesting  voyage.  I  regret  that 
such  has  been  the  case,  and  that  I  was  not  able  to  accept  the 
kind  invitation  I  received  to  visit  the  exhibitions  at  Sydney  and 
at  Melbourne.  I  am  glad,  however,  to  know  that  they  have 
proved  a  great  success,  as  has  been  testified  to  me  only  this 
evening  by  the  noble  Duke  [Manchester]  by  my  side,  who  has 
so  lately  returned.  Though,  my  lords  and  gentlemen,  I  have, 
as  I  said  before,  not  had  the  opportunity  of  seeing  these  great 
Australasian  Colonies,  which  every  day  and  every  year  are 
making  such  immense  development,  still,  at  the  International 
Exhibitions  of  London,  Paris  and  Vienna,  I  had  not  only  an 
opportunity  of  seeing  their  various  products  there  exhibited, 
but  I  had  the  pleasure  of  making  the  acquaintance  of  many 
colonists — a  fact  which  has  been  a  matter  of  great  importance 
apad  great  benefit  to  myself. 

It  is  now  thirty  years  since  the  first  International  Exhibition 
took  place  in  London,  and  then  for  the  first  time  Colonial 
exhibits  were  shown  to  the  world.  Since  that  time,  from  the 
exhibitions  which  have  followed  our  first  great  gathering  in 
1851,  the  improvements  that  have  been  made  are  manifest.  That 
in  itself  is  a  clear  proof  of  the  way  in  which  the  Colonies  have 
been  exerting  themselves  to  make  their  vast  territories  of  the 
great  importance  that  they  are  at  the  present  moment.     But 


182  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

though,  my  Lord  Mayor,  I  have  not  been  to  Australasia,  as  you 
have  mentioned,  I  have  sent  my  two  sons  on  a  visit  there ;  and  it 
has  been  a  matter  of  great  gratification,  not  only  to  myself,  but 
to  the  Queen,  to  hear  of  the  kindly  reception  they  have  met  with 
everywhere.  They  are  but  young,  but  I  feel  confident  that  their 
visit  to  the  Antipodes  will  do  them  an  incalculable  amount  of 
good.  On  their  way  out  they  visited  a  colony  in  which,  unfortu- 
nately, the  conditions  of  affairs  was  not  quite  as  satisfactory  as 
we  could  wish,  and  as  a  consequence  they  did  not  extend  their 
visits  in  that  part  of  South  Africa  quite  so  far  inland  as  might 
otherwise  have  been  the  case. 

I  must  thank  you  once  more,  my  Lord  Mayor,  for  the  kind 
way  in  which  you  have  proposed  this  toast.  I  thank  you  in  the 
name  of  the  Princess  and  the  other  members  of  the  Royal 
Family,  for  the  kind  reception  their  names  have  met  with  from 
all  here  to-night,  and  I  beg  again  to  assure  you  most  cordially 
and  heartily  of  the  great  pleasure  it  has  given  me  to  be  present 
here  among  so  many  distinguished  Colonists  and  gentlemen  con- 
nected with  the  Colonies,  and  to  have  had  an  opportunity  of 
meeting  your  distinguished  guest,  the  King  of  the  Sandwich 
Islands.  If  your  lordship's  visit  to  his  dominions  remains 
impressed  on  your  mind,  I  think  your  lordship's  kindly  recep- 
tion of  his  Majesty  here  to-night  is  not  likely  soon  to  be  for- 
gotten by  him. 


TO  THE   STUDENTS'  CORPS  AND   THE   UNIVERSITY 

OF  BONN. 

Emperor  "William,  op  Germajstt. 

In  the  fall  of  1877,  Prince  William,  then  eighteen  years  of  age,, 
began  a  two  years'  course  of  study  at  Bonn  University,  which  is  "the 
intellectual  nursery  of  hereditary  monarchism,"  the  conservator  of 
the  approved  political  principles  of  the  Empire.  To  Bonn  come  the 
young  princes  and  others  of  the  high  born  classes  for  their  education 
and  for  more  thorough  grounding  in  loyalty  to  their  station,  to  the 
royal  house,  and  to  the  Empire.  In  college  the  prince  was  a  member 
of  the  Borussia  Korps,  an  association  largely  made  up  of  representa- 
tives of  the  highest  classes,  and  as  Emperor  he  still  attends  the  annual 
festivities  of  the  old  Bonn  Borussians  residing  in  Berlin.  On  the 
occasion  of  the  festival  held  in  1887  in  commemoration  of  the  founding 
of  the  Borussia  Korps,  he  personally  visited  Bonn  as  an  alter  Herr, 
or  alumnus,  and  took  part  in  the  celebration.  It  is  recalled  of  him 
that,  as  a  young  man,  he  was  an  enthusiastic  Korpsbruder.  That  he 
associated  frequently  with  the  fellows  of  the  Borussia  (which  corre- 
sponds In  a  way  to  our  American  college  fraternities)  and  that  he 
attended  their  Kommers,  elaborate  drinking  bouts,  accompanied  in 
the  German  fashion  by  singing,  where  he  won  the  approval  of  his 
companions  by  showing  more  than  average  capacity  for  drinking  the 
favorite  German  beverage  and  other  spirituous  refreshments.  At  the 
sixtieth  anniversary  of  the  Borussia  mentioned,  in  answer  to  a  toast 
In  honor  of  the  Hohenzollern  dynasty,  the  Prince  rose  and  thanked 
those  present  for  their  fidelity  to  the  monarchic  principle,  pointed  out 
that  the  colors  of  the  Borussia,  black-white-black,  were  also  those  of 
Prussia  and  the  Hohenzollerns,  and  remarked  that  while  foreigners  had 
said  these  colors  were  scarcely  gay  enough,  they  corresponded  with 
the  history  of  Prussia  and  his  house,  which  recorded  many  trials  and 
vicissitudes.  The  Iron  Cross,  he  said,  in  its  severe  plainness,  was  a 
most  fitting  S3Tnbol  of  these  struggles,  which  had  lasted  through  cen- 
turies. The  colors  were  a  spur  to  young  Borussians  to  emulate  their 
forbears  in  the  strict  fulfillment  of  duty. 

Three  years  after  his  accession,  the  Emperor  was  visiting  at  Bonn 
In  May  and  took  part  in  the  initial  Kommers  of  the  summer  term, 
making  the  following  speech.  It  may  be  regarded  that  a  Kommers 
(from  the  Latin,  meaning  "intercourse")  is  always  given  at  the  begin- 

183 


184  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

ning  and  end  of  each  term  in  honor  of  the  Fuchskommers  (freshmen) 
and  of  those  "going  down"  the  Abschiedskommers. 

I  beg  to  offer  the  last  speaker  and  the  entire  Bonn  Seniors' 
Convent  [an  association  of  all  the  students'  korps]  assembled 
here  my  thanks  for  the  cordial  welcome  you  have  given  me.  I 
especially  thank  the  Seniors'  Convent  and  all  the  students  of 
Bonn  for  the  beautiful  torchlight  procession  which  they  arranged 
for  last  night  in  my  honor.  I  rejoice  at  the  good  feeling  mani- 
fested among  the  students  by  the  arrangements,  which  were  so 
tactfully  and  so  courteously  conducted  by  the  Seniors'  Convent. 
I  trust  that  these  good  relations  will  long  endure  and  that  this 
harmonious  feeling  may  be  a  model  for  the  relations  existing  in 
the  Seniors'  Convent  and  the  general  body  of  the  students  in 
all  other  German  universities. 

I  agree  entirely  with  the  remarks  of  the  previous  speaker 
concerning  the  importance  of  korps  life  and  its  educational 
significance  in  the  subsequent  life  of  the  student.  I  recognize 
in  the  korps  the  sentiments  of  the  Bonn  Seniors'  Convent,  the 
familiar,  the  well-tried,  the  old  sentiments  still  subsisting  in 
your  hearts,  and  I  see  that  you  still  continue  to  bear  in  mind 
the  significance,  the  aims  and  the  objects  of  the  German  stu- 
dents' korps. 

It  is  my  firm  conviction  that  every  young  man  who  joins  a 
students*  korps  will  receive  the  true  direction  of  his  life  from 
the  spirit  which  prevails  in  it.  It  is  the  best  education  which  a 
young  man  can  get  for  his  future  life.  And  he  who  scoffs  at 
the  students'  korps  does  not  understand  their  real  meaning. 
I  hope  that  as  long  as  there  are  German  korps  students,  the 
spirit  that  is  fostered  in  their  korps,  and  by  which  their  strength 
and  courage  are  steeled,  will  be  preserved,  and  that  you  will 
always  take  delight  in  handling  the  duelling  blade.  Our 
students'  duels  (mensuren)  are  often  misunderstood  by  the 
public  at  large.  But  that  must  not  concern  us.  You  and  I 
who  have  been  korps  students  know  better.  Just  as  in  the 
Middle  Ages  jousts  and  tournaments  served  to  steel  men's  cour- 
age and  physical  strength,  so  the  spirit  and  customs  of  our  korps 
serve  to  supply  us  with  that  degree  of  fortitude  which  is  needed 


TO  THE  STUDENTS'  CORPS  AND  BONN    185 

when  we  go  into  the  world  and  which  German  universities  will 
furnish  as  long  as  they  exist.  You  have  been  good  enough  to 
refer  to  my  son  to-day,  for  which  I  especially  thank  you.  I 
hope  the  young  man  will  also  in  time  be  introduced  in  the  Sen- 
iors' Convent  of  this  university  and  that  he  will  then  meet 
with  the  same  friendly  sentiments  that  were  extended  to  me. 

Ten  years  after  the  preceding  address,  the  Emperor,  at  the  Kommers 
held  in  honor  of  the  Crown  Prince,  when  the  Emperor's  wish  expressed 
in  the  preceding  address  was  fulfilled,  replied  to  an  address  made  to 
him  by  a  student: 

My  dear  young  commilitones,  there  was  no  need  for  you  to 
devote  any  special  consideration  or  lay  any  special  stress  on 
the  feelings  which  thrill  through  my  heart  when  I  find  myself 
once  more  in  dear  Bonn  among  the  students.  Before  my  mind's 
eye  rises  a  glorious,  bright  picture,  full  of  sunshine  and  happy 
contentment,  which  in  those  days  filled  every  moment  of  my 
existence.  Joy  in  life,  joy  in  people,  old  as  well  as  young,  and 
above  all  joy  in  the  young  German  Empire,  even  then  growing 
in  strength.  The  wish,  then,  that  above  all  fills  me  at  the 
present  moment,  when  I  am  sending  my  dear  son  in  turn  to 
take  his  place  in  your  midst,  is  that  a  student  life  equally  happy 
as  that  which  I  enjoyed  may  be  in  store  for  him.  And  how, 
indeed,  could  it  well  be  otherwise?  Why,  Bonn,  beautiful 
Bonn,  is  so  accustomed  to  the  hustle  and  stir  of  youth  in  the 
heyday  of  life,  and  seems  as  though  created  by  nature  for  this 
very  purpose.  *  *  *  Bonn  lies  on  the  Rhine,  the  river 
where  grow  our  vines,  the  name  of  which  is  endeared  to  us 
by  our  legends,  the  river  where  every  castle,  every  town,  speaks 
to  us  of  our  past.  Father  Rhine  shall  cast  his  spell  and  exert 
his  influence  also  over  the  Crown  Prince.  And  when  the  merry 
winecup  circles  and  a  cheerful  song  resounds,  your  spirit,  filled 
with  the  glad  moment,  shall  rejoice  and  rise  in  exaltation  as 
befits  high-spirited  German  youths.  Yet  let  the  spring  from 
which  you  quaff  your  draught  of  joy  be  clean  and  pure  as  the 
golden  juice  of  the  vine,  let  it  be  deep  and  lasting  as  Father 
Rhine.    (The  Emperor  then  dwelt  on  German  history  and  politi- 


186  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

cal  subjects.  Referring  to  Boniface  and  Walter  von  der  Vogel- 
weide,  to  Goethe  and  Schiller,  he  said:)  They  exerted  a  uni- 
verse influence  and  yet  were  Germans  in  a  limited  sense.  They 
were  personalities,  men.  "We  need  such  men  now  more  than 
ever.  May  you  strive  to  become  such  yourselves.  But  how 
can  this  be  possible?  Who  will  help  to  attain  thereto?  One 
and  One  alone,  whose  Name  we  all  bear,  who  has  borne 
and  purged  away  our  sins,  who  lived  before  us,  and  worked 
as  we  work,  our  Lord  and  Savior;  may  He  implant  moral 
earnestness  in  your  hearts,  that  your  motives  may  ever  be  pure 
and  your  aims  ever  noble.  Love  of  father  and  mother,  love  of 
home  and  country,  are  founded  on  love  for  Him.  Then  will 
you  be  secure  against  allurements  and  temptations  of  every 
kind,  above  all,  against  vanity  and  envy,  and  be  able  to  sing 
and  say,  **We  Germans  fear  God,  and  naught  else  in  the  world." 
Then  shall  we  take  our  place  in  the  world,  firmly  established 
and  pursuing  our  civilizing  mission,  and  I  shall  close  my  eyes 
in  peace  if  only  I  see  such  a  generation  springing  up  to  gather 
round  my  son.  Then  Germany,  Germany  above  everything !  In 
this  confident  expectation  I  call  **  Prosperity  to  the  University 
of  Bonn  I" 


HANDS  ACROSS  THE  SEA,  THE  NOBLE  ART  OF 
PRINTING,  AND  OTHERS. 

George,  Prince  op  Wales. 

The  present  King  George  of  England,  as  Prince  of  Wales,  was  a 
favorite  after-dinner  speaker  on  the  many  occasions  expected  to  be 
graced  by  the  presence  of  royalty.  The  first  address.  Hands  Across 
the  Sea,  was  delivered  at  the  annual  dinner  of  the  Royal  Colonial 
Institute,  May  fourth,  1908.  The  Noble  Art  of  Printing  was  deliv- 
ered at  the  eighty-second  anniversary  festival  of  the  Printers'  Pen- 
sion, Almshouse,  and  Orphan  Asylum  Corporation  on  May  twenty- 
first,  1909.  India  for  Artists  was  delivered  at  the  Royal  Academy 
banquet  on  May  fourth,  1907.  The  National  Rifle  Association  was 
delivered  at  a  dinner  of  that  association  July  eighth,  1909.  Though 
not  an  after-dinner  address,  it  may  be  of  interest  to  lawyers  to  note 
King  George's  reply  to  the  address  of  the  Benchers  of  Gray's  Inn, 
June  twenty-ninth,  1901,  on  their  Majesties'  visit  to  the  city  after 
the  Coronation.  "This  Ancient  Society,"  said  the  King,  "has  for 
centuries  occupied  an  honorable  place  among  the  Inns  of  Court.  The 
training  of  those  who  devote  their  lives  to  the  study  and  practice  of 
the  law  is  a  function  of  primary  importance  in  a  civilized  State. 
That  great  structure  of  reason  and  experience  to  which  each  genera- 
tion makes  its  contribution,  and  which  has  been  building  since  the 
remotest  antiquity,  has  in  our  age  reached  a  form  and  refinement 
worthy  of  the  respect  of  all  nations. 

"But  no  system  of  jurisprudence,  however  modern,  however  elab- 
orate, can  secure  justice  unless  it  is  conducted  by  men  of  simple 
integrity  and  honor.  The  personal  character  of  individuals,  the  ob- 
servance of  a  strict  professional  standard,  are  the  necessary  allies  of 
good  laws  and  careful  judgments.  Your  duty  has  been  to  safeguard 
and  renew  the  honorable  traditions  of  the  Bar.  The  Courts  of  Jus- 
tice, those  who  resort  to  them,  and  the  public  in  general  owe  much 
to  the  Inns  of  Court  and  to  their  Benchers  for  the  vigilance  with 
which  they  maintain  the  reputation  of  the  Bar  in  this  country  for 
fearless  Integrity  and  instructed  good  feeling.  These  are  above  the 
value  of  the  highest  gifts  of  forensic  eloquence,  and  not  less  necessary 
than  learning  itself. 

"We  thank  you  heartily  for  your  warm  expressions  of  devotion  and 
affection  to  our  Throne  and  persons.  You  may  be  assured  of  our  cor- 
dial good  wishes  for  the  prosperity  of  your  Society,  which  has  had 

187 


188  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

In  the  past  the  favor  of  our  predecessors,  and  to-day  includes  two 
members  of  our  family  on  its  Bench." 

HANDS  ACROSS  THE  SEA. 

As  president  of  the  Royal  Colonial  Institute,  to  which  office 
I  had  the  honor  of  being  appointed  on  the  resignation  of  the 
King  after  his  Majesty's  accession,  it  is  most  gratifying  to  find 
myself  supported  here  to-night  by  so  many  distinguished  per- 
sons, some  of  whom  I  had  the  pleasure  of  meeting  in  different 
parts  of  the  world.  For  I  see  around  me  citizens  of  our  over- 
seas Dominions;  some  who  now  occupy,  or  have  occupied  the 
highest  positions  in  the  colonial  service.  And  we  welcome  with 
pleasure  to-night  a  future  Governor-General  of  the  Common- 
wealth of  Australia — my  old  friend  Lord  Dudley.  He  takes 
with  him  our  heartiest  good  wishes  on  his  appointment  to  that 
high  and  responsible  post,  in  which  he  succeeds  Lord  Northcote, 
whose  departure  from  Australia  is,  I  am  well  aware,  most  deeply 
regretted  by  its  people.  With  our  thoughts  for  the  moment 
on  the  Commonwealth,  I  cannot  refrain,  even  at  the  risk  of 
striking  a  note  of  sadness,  from  alluding  to  him  who  was 
chosen  as  the  first  Governor-General  of  federated  Australia, 
Lord  Linlithgow,  whose  loss  we,  who  knew  and  loved  him  so 
keenly,  deplore. 

During  the  time  that  has  elapsed  since  I  first  went  to  sea,  in 
1879,  I  have  been  able  to  visit  almost  every  part  of  our  Empire. 
I  am  deeply  sensible  of  my  good  fortune;  and,  without  boast, 
I  may  claim  that  probably  no  one  in  this  room  has  landed  on 
so  many  different  portions  of  British  soil  as  I  have.  Under 
the  circumstances  it  would  be  strange,  indeed,  if  I  had  not 
acquired  some  of  that  knowledge  of  Greater  Britain  with  which 
Mr.  Price  so  kindly  credits  me;  still  more  if  I  did  not  take  a 
deep  and  continuing  interest  in  the  progress  and  welfare  of 
these  Dominions  beyond  the  seas.  And  there  is,  moreover,  t}ie 
lasting  impression  of  the  loyal,  affectionate  welcome,  the  gen- 
erous hospitality,  which,  whether  to  my  dear  brother  and  me  as 
boys,  or  to  the  Princess  and  myself  in  later  days,  was  univer- 
sally extended  to  us.    Nor  shall  we  ever  forget  the  many  kind 


HANDS  ACKOSS  THE  SEA  189 

friends  made  during  those  happy  and  memorable  experiences. 
This  summer  I  shall  again  cross  the  Atlantic  in  order  to  rep- 
resent the  King  at  the  celebrations  of  the  first  colonization  of 
Canada  by  Champlain  three  hundred  years  ago. 

Such  experiences  have,  of  course,  only  afforded  glimpses 
and  impressions,  but  sufficient  to  gain  at  all  events  a  slight 
acquaintance  with  these  countries,  with  their  peoples  and  insti- 
tutions. They  have  enabled  me  to  form  some  idea  of  our 
Empire,  to  realize  its  vastness,  its  resources,  its  latent  strength. 
They  have  brought  home  to  me  the  fact,  so  well  expressed  in  a 
recent  article  in  one  of  our  reviews,  that  "to-day,  by  England, 
we  do  not  mean  these  islands  in  the  Western  Sea,  but  an  Eng- 
land which  is  spread  over  the  whole  surface  of  the  world." 

I  have  ventured  to  introduce  a  toast  which  has  not  been  hitherto 
proposed  at  these  annual  gatherings;  it  is  the  toast  of  **The 
British  Dominions  Beyond  the  Seas."  It  does  not  seem  to  be 
out  of  place  when  we  consider  that  one  of  the  first  objects  of 
this  Institute  is  to  develop  the  true  spirit  of  Empire,  and  to 
strengthen  those  links  of  kinship  which  will  bind  forever  the 
vast  and  varied  portions  of  the  oversea  Dominions  with  the 
Mother  Country.  Events  move  so  quickly  that  we  are  apt  to 
forget  how  much  has  been  achieved  in  this  direction.  Modern 
Science  has  done  wonders  in  making  time  and  distance  vanish. 
It  is  astounding  to  realize  what  has  been  accomplished  in  secur- 
ing quick,  constant,  and  continuous  communication  between  the 
different  provinces  of  the  Empire  since,  say,  the  accession  of 
Queen  Victoria.  At  that  time  there  was  only  one  small  railway 
in  the  colonies,  and  that  was  in  Canada.  The  first  steamer  from 
England  to  Australia  did  not  run  till  1852 ;  it  is  only  fifty  years 
ago  that  the  first  submarine  cable  was  laid  between  Great 
Britain  and  America ;  telegraphic  communication  was  only  estab- 
lished with  Australia  in  1872,  with  New  Zealand  in  1876,  and 
South  Africa  in  1879.  But  in  this  short  space  of  time  how 
marvelous  has  been  the  progress!  "We  have  seen  how  the 
Canadian  Pacific  Kailway  has  helped  to  make  a  nation,  how 
railways  have  transformed  South  Africa  and  spanned  the 
Zambesi   at   the   Victoria   Falls.     To-day,   thanks  to   railway 


190  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

development,  we  are  opening  up  fresh  and  important  cotton- 
growing  areas  in  Nigeria  and  elsewhere.  Mr.  Price  has  told  us 
of  the  great  scheme  of  the  Murray  navigation,  with  its  enormous 
possihilities.  We  also  hear  rumors  of  the  promotion  of  similar 
enterprises  in  other  parts  of  the  world.  Electricity  now  carries 
in  a  few  minutes  messages  between  every  portion  of  the  Empire, 
and  even  keeps  us  in  touch  with  our  fleets,  and  with  those  power- 
ful steamers  which  have  brought  us  within  a  few  days  of  the 
great  continent  of  America. 

But,  though  we  have  been  successful  in  many  ways,  we  must 
not  lose  sight  of  our  common  interests,  aims,  and  objects,  in  the 
fulfillment  of  which  there  must  be  mutual  efforts,  mutual  self- 
sacrifice.  Does  such  co-operation  as  we  would  desire  really  and 
fully  exist?  Undoubtedly  there  has  been  a  great  improvement 
in  this  direction.  "We  earnestly  hope  that  progress  may  be  made 
in  thoroughly  grappling  with  imperial  defense,  and  in  strength- 
ening military  organization  in  time  of  peace  no  less  than  in  war. 
I  also  commend  to  your  consideration  the  importance  of  reci- 
procity in  educational  matters.  As  Chancellor  of  the  University 
of  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope,  I  trust  that  the  old  Universities  of 
these  islands  will  always  maintain  sympathetic  relations  with 
those  of  younger  portions  of  the  Empire.  We  know  what  has 
been  done  through  the  Rhodes  Scholarships.  Oxford  four  years 
ago  chose  for  her  Regius  Professor  of  Medicine  Dr.  Osier,  one 
of  Canada's  most  distinguished  sons;  while  Professor  Bovey, 
though  bom  in  England,  has  been  brought  from  McGill  Uni- 
versity to  be  Rector  of  the  important  Imperial  College  of 
Science  and  Technology  now  being  established  at  Kensington. 
A  new  means  of  intercourse  and  interchange  of  thought  between 
the  members  of  the  Anglican  Church  throughout  the  Empire 
has  been  initiated  in  the  coming  Pan- Anglican  Congress,  which 
assembles  in  London  next  month;  and  I  believe  that  every 
preparation  is  being  made  to  give  to  its  members  a  hearty  wel- 
come throughout  the  country.  Is  there  not  much  to  be  accom- 
plished by  strengthening  these  social  relations;  by  the  Mother 
Country  making  it  clear  to  her  children  that  they  are  always 
certain  of  finding  here  a  home,  not  in  name  only,  but  in  reality, 


NOBLE  ART  OF  PRINTING  191 

and  the  same  warm-hearted  hospitality  as  is  always  extended 
to  us  in  every  portion  of  the  globe  where  the  British  flag  flies? 
I  have  endeavored  to  touch  lightly  on  the  vital  necessity  for 
reciprocal  action  between  those  at  home  and  our  brethren  beyond 
the  seas.  "We  must  foster  now  and  always  the  strongest  feel- 
ings of  mutual  confidence  and  respect.  By  methods  of  educa- 
tion, by  unity  of  action  in  everything  that  leads  towards  the 
noblest  ideals  of  civilization,  by  utilizing  the  great  powers  of 
science,  and  by  means  of  defense  by  sea  and  land,  we  must 
strive  to  maintain  all  that  we  esteem  most  dear.  If  we  hold 
hands  across  the  sea,  we  shall  preserve  for  future  generations 
a  noble  heritage,  founded  upon  the  highest  patriotism,  and  knit 
together  by  the  ties  of  race  and  of  mutual  sympathy  and  regard. 

THE   NOBLE  AET  OP  PRINTENG. 

I  am  sure  that  the  Queen  and  the  Princess  of  Wales — ^indeed, 
all  the  members  of  our  Family — are  ever  ready  to  identify 
themselves  with  and  support  the  charitable  undertakings  which, 
as  the  Duke  of  Marlborough  has  truly  said,  are  an  essential  fea- 
ture of  our  public  life.  He  has  been  good  enough  to  allude 
to  the  visit  which  the  Princess  and  I  made  to  the  establishment 
of  the  King's  printers  and  to  the  offices  of  the  ** Daily  Tele- 
graph." It  was  most  interesting  to  have  this  glimpse  into  the 
great  printing  world,  where  we  were  astonished  at  the  wonder- 
ful mechanical  appliances,  both  in  the  work  of  the  compositor, 
in  the  stereotyping,  and  in  the  actual  printing  machinery;  and 
it  was  a  pleasure  to  see  the  favorable  conditions  and  surround- 
ings in  which  this  work  was  carried  out.  As  to  myself,  the 
Duke  was  far  too  flattering  in  his  allusions  to  whatever  I  have 
been  able  to  do  in  the  discharge  of  my  many  public  duties.  I 
can  only  assure  you  how  happy  I  am  to  be  associated  with  you 
all  in  helping  a  charity  on  behalf  of  those  from  whose  labors 
we  derive  some  of  the  most  precious  blessings  of  life.  In  pro- 
posing this  toast,  I  recall  the  names  of  those  to  whom  this  duty 
has  been  entrusted  in  the  past.  The  King  presided  at  your 
dinner  in  1895.  Lord  John  Russell  did  so  at  the  first  festival 
in  1828,  and  among  his  many  distinguished  successors  were  Mr. 


192  AFTEE.DINNER  SPEECHES 

Disraeli,  Mr.  Gladstone,  Charles  Dickens,  Tom  Taylor,  Dean 
Stanley,  and  my  late  uncle,  the  Duke  of  Cambridge. 

Those  came  to  plead  the  cause  of  this  great  charity — and  is 
it  not  one  which  has  claims  upon  us  ?  The  printer  is  the  invisible 
friend  of  all  who  have  written,  all  who  have  read.  The  print- 
ing press  is  the  source  of  the  life-blood  of  the  civilized  world. 
Stop  its  pulsations,  and  collapse,  social,  commercial,  and  politi- 
cal, must  inevitably  follow.  The  noble  art  of  printing  has  been 
the  generous  giver  of  knowledge,  religious,  scientific,  and  artis- 
tic. It  has  been  the  instrument  of  truth,  liberty,  and  freedom; 
and  it  has  added  to  life  comfort,  recreation,  and  refinement. 
And  yet  how  comparatively  recently  in  the  world's  history  did 
mankind  become  possessed  of  this  priceless  gift!  In  1637,  we 
are  told,  the  Star  Chamber  limited  the  number  of  printers  in 
England  to  twenty.  Fifty  years  later,  except  in  London  and  at 
the  two  Universities  of  Oxford  and  Cambridge,  there  was  scarcely 
a  printer  in  the  kingdom.  The  only  printing  press  north  of  the 
Trent  was  at  York.  In  1724,  there  were  thirty-four  counties, 
including  Lancashire,  in  which  there  were  no  printers.  In 
1901,  the  last  Census  showed  that  in  England  and  Wales  there 
were  over  one  hundred  and  seven  thousand  men  and  nearly 
eleven  thousand  women  employed  in  printing  and  lithographic 
trades.  Until  the  License  Act  was  abolished  in  1695,  there  was 
only  one  newspaper  in  these  islands,  the  "London  Gazette." 
Its  total  circulation  was  eight  thousand  copies,  much  less  than 
one  to  each  parish  in  the  kingdom ;  and  no  political  intelligence 
was  allowed  to  be  published  without  the  King's  license.  Since 
1760,  the  "London  Gazette"  has  been  printed  by  the  house  of 
Harrison ;  and  the  head  of  that  firm  the  fourth  direct  descend- 
ant, is  present  here  to-night.  To-day  there  are  some  thirteen 
hundred  daily,  weekly,  and  monthly  publications  in  London 
alone.  In  1771  the  House  of  Commons  issued  a  proclamation 
forbidding  the  publication  of  debates,  and  those  printers  who 
defied  it  were  summoned  to  the  Bar  of  the  House.  To-day 
"The  Times"  supplies  us  with  almost  a  verbatim  report  of 
Parliamentary  debates  by  five  o'clock  the  next  morning.  In 
1852,  we  are  told  in  the  life  of  Delane,  the  daily  issue  of  "The 


NOBLE  ART  OF  PRINTING  193 

Times"  was  forty  thousand,  the  "Morning  Advertiser**  seven 
thousand,  and  the  remaining  principal  London  papers  an  aver- 
age slightly  over  three  thousand  each.  To-day  the  machines  of 
many  of  the  London  morning  papers  turn  out  upwards  of 
twenty  thousand  copies  per  hour,  so  that  within  a  period  of 
a  little  more  than  half  a  century  the  circulation  of  the  London 
Daily  Press  has  increased  from  tens  to  hundreds  of  thousands. 
In  the  Colonies  and  India  there  has  been  a  corresponding  devel- 
opment in  the  art  of  printing.  The  oflScial  account  of  the  visit 
which  the  Princess  and  I  paid  to  India  in  1905  was  published  in 
Bombay,  and  in  all  its  details  was  the  result  of  Indian  work, 
and  would,  I  imagine,  bear  comparison  with  the  best  of  our 
home  productions. 

With  regard  to  the  printer's  life,  while  legislation  and  the 
general  advance  of  civilization  have  done  much  both  as  regards 
his  wages,  hours  of  work,  and  his  surroundings,  it  is  probable 
that  the  keen  competition  and  modern  requirements  render  it 
more  strenuous  than  ever  before.  The  profession  is  to  be  con- 
gratulated upon  stiU  maintaining  the  old  system  of  apprentice- 
ship for  a  term  of  seven  years ;  while  within  the  excellent  classes 
formed  in  the  technical  institutions,  both  in  London  and  in  the 
provinces,  the  apprentices  are  able  to  supplement  the  knowl- 
edge obtained  in  the  workshop,  where  the  wOrk  has  become  every 
year  more  and  more  specialized.  I  hope  it  wiU  not  be  con- 
sidered out  of  place  if  I  remind  my  friend,  the  American 
Ambassador,  who  has  been  kind  enough  to  support  me  this 
evening,  that  the  great  Benjamin  Franklin  worked  as  a  printer 
for  nearly  two  years  in  London,  and  that  the  printing  press 
which  he  used  is  now  in  the  possession  of  the  Philosophical 
Society  in  Philadelphia.  It  is  an  interesting  fact  that  various 
circumstances  have  combined  to  remove  to  a  considerable  extent 
book  printing  from  London  to  the  country ;  but,  beside  the  daily 
and  weekly  newspapers,  most  of  the  magazines  and  periodicals 
are  still  printed  in  London.  As  most  of  the  daily  papers  go  to 
press  after  midnight,  we  may  say  that,  practically,  London 
sleeps  while  the  printers  are  working;  and,  while  we  regard  it 
as  a  matter  of  course  that  our  newspapers  are  on  the  breakfast 


194  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

table  every  morning,  do  we  realize  the  industry,  thought,  atten- 
tion, and  accuracy  which  have  been  bestowed  on  their  pages 
not  only  by  the  printer,  but  by  the  correspondent  and  the 
reporter?  Members  of  Parliament  and  public  men  are,  I 
imagine,  quick  to  recognize  with  gratitude  and  consideration 
the  care  with  which  their  utterances  are  dealt  with  in  the 
columns  of  our  newspapers.  Sir  Robert  Peel,  speaking  once 
on  this  subject,  said:  "We  ought  to  consider  ourselves  greatly 
indebted  to  the  gentlemen  of  the  Press,  for  who  of  us,  as  we 
sit  at  our  breakfast  table  in  the  morning,  would  like  to  see  our 
speeches  of  the  previous  night  reported  verbatim?" 

Perhaps  I  have  said  enough  to  recall  what  we  owe  to  those 
on  whose  behalf  this  charity  was  founded  some  eighty  years 
ago,  a  charity  that  was  incorporated  by  Royal  Charter  in  1865. 
Its  work  is  excellent ;  and  in  my  humble  opinion  it  possesses  one 
special  characteristic  which  should  appeal  to  the  charitable 
public — it  is  provident,  it  is  based  upon  self-help,  and  therefore 
it  encourages  thrift.  Every  member  contributes  5s.  annually, 
and  the  pensions  are  fixed  according  to  the  number  of  years  of 
membership.  At  the  same  time,  the  funds  of  the  institution  are 
largely  supported  by  those  who  are  not  candidates  for  its 
assistance,  I  mean  the  general  public.  At  present  a  sum  of  six 
thousand  eight  hundred  and  sixty-eight  pounds  is  distributed 
annually  among  four  hundred  and  eighteen  recipients.  The 
almshouses  accommodate  thirty-two  inmates,  while  the  orphan 
children  of  the  printers  are  supported,  clothed,  and  educated  in 
selected  schools.  Two  days  ago  the  Princess  and  I  had  the 
pleasure  of  visiting  the  almshouses.  "We  can  testify  to  the 
bright,  cheerful,  and  comfortable  homes  in  which  the  inmates 
pass  the  declining  days  of  their  life.  The  past  year  has  been  a 
successful  one,  and  there  is  still  much  to  be  done.  More  than  a 
hundred  deserving  cases,  many  of  them  over  seventy  years  of 
age,  still  remain  upon  the  candidates*  list.  The  most  prominent 
feature  of  the  year  has  been  the  continued  issue  of  "Printers' 
Pie."  Apart  from  the  substantial  sum  which  it  has  contributed 
to  the  fund,  its  issue  has  been  of  the  greatest  benefit  in  bringing 
the  work  of  the  Corporation  before  the  benevolent  public.    But 


INDIA  FOR  ARTISTS  195 

the  success  of  the  Corporation  is  largely  due  to  that  host  of 
helpers  who  sacrifice  valuable  time  and  work  to  assisting  in  its 
administration  and  management.  To  those  who  have  generously 
acted  as  stewards  of  this  festival  and  to  Mr.  Mortimer,  the  Cor- 
poration's most  excellent  secretary,  I  ask  you  to  join  with  me 
in  expressing  our  heartfelt  thanks.  May  I  refer  to  one  of  our 
guests  present  here  to-night,  Mr.  J.  R.  Haworth,  who  worked 
for  many  years  as  a  compositor  in  London.  He  has  founded  a 
pension,  and  in  other  ways  has  contributed  most  generously  to 
the  funds  of  this  charity.  I  trust  that  he  will  forgive  me  for 
mentioning  the  fact  that  he  is  in  his  eighty-ninth  year.  He  is 
also  one  of  the  ablest  bell-ringers  in  the  Kingdom. 

I  feel  that  I  have  but  imperfectly  described  the  history,  the 
aims,  and  achievement  of  this  splendid  institution.  So,  in  con- 
clusion, I  will  quote  Dean  Stanley's  beautiful  words,  which 
were  used  by  him  thirty-seven  years  ago  when  he  appealed  on 
its  behalf.  He  said :  * '  Those  of  us  who  have  read  the  endless 
works  which  come  from  the  teeming  press  of  our  day  must 
remember  that,  behind  the  innumerable  sheets,  the  vast  moun- 
tains of  type,  and  the  constant  whirl  of  machinery,  there  stands 
an  army  of  living  friends,  unknown,  unseen,  through  whose 
attentive  eyes  and  over  whose  busy  fingers,  the  light  of  God, 
the  light  of  the  world,  the  light  of  knowledge,  the  light  of  grace, 
streams  out  in  continuous  rays  to  every  corner  of  our  streets 
and  of  our  homes.  It  is  for  us  to  repay  that  anxious  labor, 
that  straining  care,  that  wasting  vigilance,  and  to  see  that, 
when  they  are  dead  and  gone,  to  those  also  in  the  dark  corners 
of  their  bereaved  homesteads  shall  flow  the  light  of  consolation, 
cheerfulness,  and  comfort." 

INDIA  FOB  ARTISTS. 

I  recall  the  fact  that,  thirty  years  ago  this  month,  my  dear 
brother  and  I  joined  the  Navy.  Yesterday  I  took  my  eldest 
son  to  the  Royal  Naval  College  at  Osborne.  Although  I  fear  my 
son  will  not  be  able  to  make  the  Navy  his  profession,  as  I  did, 
I  know  he  will  receive  an  excellent  education  there,  and  he  will 
become  connected  with  that  splendid  service  to  which  I  am 


196  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

myself  so  devoted.  I  hope,  too,  that  he  will  make  friends  among 
those  who  are  to  be  our  future  naval  officers.  The  last  time  I 
had  the  pleasure  of  speaking  at  the  Academy  dinner,  two  years 
ago,  the  Princess  and  I  were  about  to  visit  India.  All  our 
anticipations  were  more  than  realized  in  that  marvelous  country. 
Alas!  I  am  not  an  artist;  but,  in  speaking  to  this  distinguished 
company,  I  am  bold  enough  to  suggest  a  visit  to  that  wonderful 
land,  which  everywhere  seemed  to  appeal  to  one's  artistic  feel- 
ings and  sympathies.  You  must  remember  that  in  India,  as 
elsewhere,  times  are  changing;  the  streets  in  the  ancient  cities 
are  vanishing,  and  "Western  ideas,  tastes,  and  fashions  are 
slowly  but  surely  asserting  themselves.  Still,  I  venture  to  say 
that  there  is  ample  scope  for  the  painter  in  landscape.  He  will 
find,  for  instance,  all  the  picturesque  surroundings  of  the  old- 
world  customs  of  the  Rajput  prince,  the  quaint,  peaceful  life 
of  the  villages,  the  beauty  of  the  great  silent  jungles,  and  the 
gorgeous  sunset  effects  of  the  desert.  The  student  of  architec- 
ture will  find  endless  resources  in  the  earlier  Middle  Age 
buildings,  both  Mohammedan  and  Hindu.  To  my  mind  I  have 
never  seen  anything  more  beautiful  than  the  palaces,  mosques, 
and  tombs  at  Agra  and  Delhi;  and  surely  the  portrait  painter 
would  find  a  large  and  possibly  a  profitable  field  for  his  talent. 
I  should  like  to  remind  you  that  one  of  the  earliest  Royal 
Academicians  journeyed  to  India  more  than  one  hundred  and 
twenty  years  ago,  and  did  much  work  there,  I  believe,  with 
some  considerable  pecuniary  profit.  I  have  had  the  pleasure 
of  seeing  one  of  his  most  famous  works  in  the  church  of  St. 
John  at  Calcutta.  I  am  happy  to  think  that  the  beautiful  monu- 
ments of  India  are  so  well  cared  for.  No  one  who  went  to 
India  could  fail  to  be  grateful  to  Lord  Curzon  for  all  that  he 
did  to  preserve  the  great  architectural  treasures  of  that  country. 

RIFLE  SHOOTING. 

In  proposing  to  you  the  toast,  "The  National  Rifle  Associa- 
tion," on  the  completion  of  the  first  fifty  years  of  its  existence, 
and  in  wishing  it  continued  and  increasing  prosperity,  I  will 
endeavor  to  lay  before  you  very  briefly  what  it  has  accomplished 


RIFLE  SHOOTING  197 

in  that  period.  Before  doing  so,  I  should  like  to  say  how 
delighted  I  am  to  see  my  old  and  valued  friend,  Lord  Wemyss, 
present  on  this  occasion.  He  was  one  of  the  original  founders 
of  the  Association  fifty  years  ago;  and  I  can  assure  him  how 
all  the  members  of  the  Association  here  to-night  welcome  him 
and  rejoice  to  think  that  he  is  still  with  us,  full  of  life  and 
enthusiasm. 

Formed  in  1860,  when  there  seemed  a  danger  of  foreign 
invasion,  the  Association  has  continually  striven  to  fulfill  the 
terms  of  its  charter,  **to  encourage  rifle  shooting  throughout 
the  Empire."  At  the  same  time,  it  has  largely  contributed  to 
the  development  of  our  military  arms.  The  competitions  and 
standard  of  excellence  set  up  by  our  Association  have  appealed 
to  the  best  instincts  of  our  country  and  the  King's  Oversea 
Dominions ;  and  men  have  assembled  from  far  and  near  to  com- 
pete in  friendly  and  sporting  rivalry.  In  this  way  we  may 
claim  that  the  Association  has  become  a  strong  link  in  the 
chain  which,  I  fervently  trust,  will  ever  unite  us  with  our 
brothers  across  the  seas.  In  1860  few  men  in  this  country  were 
accustomed  to  the  use  of  the  rifle;  and  the  Swiss  were  invited 
to  attend  our  first  meeting  to  show  us  their  skill,  while  only  two 
hundred  and  ninety-nine  of  our  riflemen  competed  that  year 
for  the  Queen's  prize.  But  the  development  of  shooting  under 
the  direction  of  this  Association  was  rapid,  and  by  1878  more 
than  two  thousand  two  hundred  assembled  in  annual  competi- 
tion. In  this  country,  and  throughout  the  Empire  generally, 
thousands  of  men  were  encouraged  and  took  up  shooting,  and 
soon  created  a  spirit  of  healthy  rivalry  among  themselves.  Unfor- 
tunately, an  erroneous  idea  has  grown  up  that  the  competitor 
at  Bisley  and  elsewhere  makes  profit  out  of  his  skill.  A  very 
limited  number  may  perhaps  do  so ;  but  the  expenses  of  the  vast 
majority  are  certainly  double  what  they  may  win  in  prizes. 
The  spirit  of  this  Association  has  been  the  true  British  spirit 
of  doing  well  for  the  sake  of  doing  well;  and  I  feel  that  the 
public  understands  how  greatly  the  Association  has  contributed 
to  the  development  of  all  forms  of  rifle  shooting  in  the 
Dominions. 


198  AFTEB-DINNER  SPEECHES 

We  must  all  recognize  the  immense  changes  that  have  taken 
place  in  rifle  shooting  in  the  past  few  years,  and  how  much  more 
important  the  rifle  shooting  of  an  army  becomes  year  by  year. 
I  feel  sure  that  the  endeavor  of  the  Association  will  always  be 
to  combine  as  far  as  possible  the  requirements  of  military  shoot- 
ing with  the  sentiment  of  that  large  number  of  civilian  riflemen 
who  attend  our  meeting  at  Bisley.  In  spite  of  the  great  diffi- 
culty in  obtaining  range  accommodation,  and  bearing  in  mind 
that  the  rifleman  must  largely  pay  his  own  traveling  expenses 
and  the  cost  of  his  practice,  still,  this  Association,  starting  with 
deliberate  firing  at  fixed  distances  annually,  has  now  established 
competitions  to  meet  with  every  requirement.  Willingly  do  its 
members  subscribe  and  enter  for  contests  under  rapid-firing 
conditions,  at  disappearing  and  moving  targets,  with  miniature 
rifles,  with  revolvers  and  pistols,  and  no  less  with  weapons  of 
the  highest  precision  at  long  ranges;  and  there  has  been  a 
remarkable  increase  of  youthful  competitors  in  the  Ashburton 
Shield,  the  Cadets  Match,  and  other  similar  competitions.  In 
1908  the  competitors  devoted  quite  one-sixth  of  their  money 
towards  competitions  under  other  than  fixed  bull's-eye  condi- 
tions. While  the  Association  has  encouraged  direct  competition 
with  the  service  arm  at  its  annual  meetings,  it  has  done  more 
by  its  system  of  awards,  which  has  developed  shooting  in  the 
counties,  and  has  attracted  our  brothers  from  all  parts  of  the 
Empire.  It  has  been  the  means  of  establishing  no  less  than  one 
thousand  seven  hundred  and  eighty-eight  clubs  for  miniature 
rifle  shooting  and  upon  the  initiative  of  its  present  Chairman 
has  started  a  boys'  camp  which  gives  promise  of  the  greatest 
success. 

With  regard  to  the  development  of  arms,  in  1860  the  service 
weapon  was  the  long  Enfield  muzzle-loader,  but  the  competitions 
of  this  Association  created  a  rivalry  amongst  gun  makers.  To 
show  how  far  from  perfect  was  our  then  service  weapon,  the 
experiments  of  the  late  Mr.  Metford,  both  with  rifles  and  with 
ammunition,  commencing  about  1862,  resulted  in  our  present 
weapon.  He,  in  concert  with  the  late  Sir  Henry  Halford, 
established  a  standard  which  has  survived  till  now.    These  men. 


RIFLE  SHOOTING  199 

with  many  others,  have  shown  what  can  be  done  with  the  rifle 
in  long  range  shooting,  and  have  been  instrumental  through  this 
Association  in  producing  weapons  and  ammunition  of  their 
present  accuracy  and  rapidity  of  fire.  I  trust  that  all  here 
will  agree  with  me  that  the  Association  has  always  discharged  a 
national  duty  in  a  truly  national  spirit;  and  I  ask  you  to  join 
in  wishing  that  its  useful  work  may  ever  iucrease  and  prosper. 


IN  GOLDEN  CHAINS, 

Lord  Coleridge. 

On  September  eighth,  1883,  at  a  banquet  given  by  the  City  of  Bos- 
ton to  visiting  representatives  attending  the  Foreign  Domestic  Exhi- 
bition, then  being  held.  Lord  Coleridge  gave  this  toast,  which  was 
heartily  applauded. 

Mr.  Mayor,  Your  Excellency  and  Gentlemen :  I  assure  you 
that  I  rise  to  return  thanks  on  this  occasion  with  feelings  of 
the  most  unfeigned  gratitude — gratitude  to  you,  sir,  for  the 
gracious  manner  in  which  you  have  been  pleased  to  propose 
this  toast;  to  you,  gentlemen,  for  the  cordial  manner  in  which 
you  have  been  pleased  to  accept  it.  It  is  true  that  on  more 
than  one  occasion  during  my  very  short  sojourn  in  America  I 
have  been  compelled  to  inflict  a  speech  upon  long-suffering 
American  audiences.  [Laughter.]  In  the  stately  city  of  Albany ; 
in  the  cheerful,  picturesque,  homely,  delightful  city  of  Portland, 
the  charms  of  whose  men  and  whose  women  I  shall  never  forget, 
and  once  more,  to-day,  in  this  city.  And  yet  I  can  truly  say 
that  never  in  my  life  till  now,  or  not  more  than  now,  rising  to 
return  thanks  to  this  toast  in  this  splendid  and  magnificent  city, 
have  I  so  earnestly  and  unfeignedly  desired  that  some  more 
adequate  example  of  my  dear  old  country  was  before  you ;  that 
there  was  some  more  competent  and  adequate  exponent  of  the 
learning  and  eloquence  and  the  refinement  of  Englishmen  than 
an  old  and  weary  lawyer,  who,  although  by  some  accident  he 
chances  to  have  attained  and  to  hold  all  but  the  very  highest 
and  proudest  station  in  the  great  profession  to  which  it  is  his 
pride  and  privilege  to  belong,  has  never  ceased  to  wonder  how 
he  came  to  hold  it.  [Laughter  and  applause,]  Nevertheless, 
the  kindness  and  cordiality  of  this  greeting  will  be  remembered. 
Dum  memorisse  mei,  dum  spiritus  kos  regit  artus.     [Applause.] 

I  am  quite  conscious  that  such  a  greeting  as  you  have  been 
pleased  to  extend  to-night  is  made  to  my  country,  and  not  to 

200 


IN  GOLDEN  CHAINS  201 

me ;  or,  if  made  to  me,  because  I  am  an  Englishman,  and  because 
I  represent  to  you  in  some  faint  measure  the  great  country 
from  which  I  come.  [Applause.]  I  knew  enough  from  news- 
papers and  other  authentic  modes  of  information  [laughter]  of 
the  kindly  and  cordial  feeling  entertained  in  American  cities 
toward  my  beloved  sovereign,  not  to  be  surprised  when!  heard 
"God  Save  the  Queen."  But  I  will  confess  to  you,  gentlemen, 
in  spite  of  all  I  have  heard  of  American  cordiality  and  Ameri- 
can hospitality,  I  was  for  a  moment  surprised  to  hear  "Rule 
Britannia"  played  on  these  shores  of  the  Atlantic.  Upon  that 
great  ocean,  heretofore,  the  two  great  nations  have  contended, 
with  equal  courage,  I  hope  I  may  say,  but  not  always  (in  the 
nature  of  things  it  could  not  be),  with  equal  success.  If  we 
could  point  to  the  battle  of  the  "Chesapeake"  and  the  "Shan- 
non," you  can  point  to  the  battle  of  the  "Java"  and  the  "Con- 
stitution," and  your  victory  in  that  combat  is,  through  the 
medium  of  mezzotint  engravings,  one  of  the  earliest  recollections 
of  my  childhood,  because,  although  it  was  long  before  I  was 
born,  yet  a  near  relative  of  my  own  was  an  officer  in  the  "Java" 
and  for  some  time  a  prisoner  in  America,  and  I  can  testify 
that  he  never  forgot  to  his  dying  day  either  the  gallantry 
of  American  seamen  or  the  kindness  of  American  people. 
[Applause.] 

Gentlemen,  the  welcome  that  has  been  extended  to  me  since 
I  landed  at  New  York  has  followed  me  here.  I  am  here  as  the 
guest  of  this  ancient  and  famous  Commonwealth — ancient  I  say, 
as  far  as  things  in  America  can  be  ancient — as  I  have  said,  the 
guest  of  this  Commonwealth,  at  the  hands  of  Your  Excellency, 
the  Governor  of  this  State.  [Applause.]  And  I  must  say  that 
His  Excellency  has  spared  no  pains,  no  trouble,  no  thoughtful 
care,  to  make  my  stay  in  this  place  happy  and  cheerful,  and, 
to  use  the  English  word,  thoroughly  comfortable.  I  thank  you 
and  I  thank  him  most  cordially  and  warmly  for  this  welcome. 
I  thank  him  for  another  thing.  He  has  changed  sticks  with  me, 
gentlemen  [laughter],  and  he  has  given  me  in  return  for  one  of 
no  value  a  very  valuable  and  excellent  stick.  In  the  "Iliad," 
when  Glaucus  exchanged   his  golden  armor  for  the  mail   of 


202  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

Diomede,  ill-natured  people  said  he  was  afraid.  I  think  no 
man,  ill-natured  or  good-natured,  will  say  your  Governor  is 
afraid  of  me.  But,  as  I  have  told  him  in  private,  so  I  say  in 
public,  he  sends  me  back  to  Europe  with  this  proud  and  con- 
solatory feeling  that  I  am  the  only  man  in  the  world  that  ever 
got  the  better  of  General  Butler.   [Loud  laughter  and  applause.] 

Gentlemen,  passing  away  from  the  kindness  and  cordiality 
and  generosity  of  General  Butler,  how  am  I  to  rise  to  the  heights 
which  the  recollections  of  Massachusetts  and  of  Boston  would 
fain  invite  me  to  aspire  to?  I  speak  in  the  neighborhood  of 
Bunker  Hill,  in  the  neighborhood  of  "T  Wharf,"  which,  a 
friend  of  mine  has  told  me  since  I  came  into  this  room,  has 
nothing  to  do  with  the  Boston  tea-fight.  I  scorn  such  strictly 
historic  accuracy.  I  believe  faithfully  that  that  admirable 
beverage,  which  you  have  brewed  ever  since,  has  been  improved 
since  the  fight  at  "  T  wharf. ' '  I  have  seen  your  old  State  House, 
with  the  lion  and  the  unicorn  upon  it.  I  have  seen  your  noble 
buildings  in  which  your  two  houses  assemble,  with  General 
Burgoyne's  cannon  in  the  ante-chamber.  I  have  seen  Faneuil 
Hall,  a  plain  but  magnificent  building.  I  have  seen  that  most 
magnificent  building  within  a  few  miles  of  this  place — the 
Memorial  Hall  of  Harvard  University.  Gentlemen,  these  things 
are  full  of  interest  and  history;  and  I  don't  believe  men  who 
tell  me  you  have  no  history.  It  may  be  that  you  have  a  short 
history,  because  you  cannot  help  it;  but  you  have  a  great  his- 
tory. You  have  a  history  of  which  any  commonwealth  may 
justly  and  rightly  be  proud.     [Applause.] 

You  know — forgive  my  vanity  if  I  say  I  know,  too — that  you 
bred  Benjamin  Franklin,  and  Daniel  Webster,  and  Joseph  Story, 
and  Theodore  Parker.  Daniel  Webster,  whose  hand  I  was  priv- 
ileged as  a  boy  at  Eton  to  press,  when  he  was  in  England  as 
your  representative,  and  whose  eloquence  I  have  humbly  studied 
ever  since ;  Story,  a  household  word  with  every  English  lawyer ; 
Parker,  perhaps  one  of  your  highest  and  greatest  souls. 
[Applause.]  Hawthorne,  if  you  will  forgive  me  the  expression 
of  a  foreigner,  is  perhaps,  taken  altogether,  almost  your  fore- 
most man  of  letters   [applause] ;  Longfellow,  the  delight  and 


IN  GOLDEN  CHAINS  203 

darling  of  two  hemispheres ;  Holmes,  the  Autocrat  of  the  Break- 
fast Table  [applause] ,  the  autocrat,  if  he  chose,  of  every  dinner 
table,  too — but  there  I  am  told  he  is  content  to  play  the  part 
of  a  constitutional  sovereign.  Emerson,  as  broad  and  as  strong 
as  one  of  your  long  rivers,  and  as  pure ;  Lowell,  I  am  proud  to 
say,  my  own  honest  friend  [applause],  your  representative  at 
this  moment  in  my  own  country.  Like  Garrick  in  Joshua  Rey- 
nolds' picture,  he  excels  in  either  tragedy  or  comedy,  and  is 
delightful  whether  as  Hosea  Bigelow  or  as  James  Russell 
Lowell,  skilled  with  equal  genius  to  move  the  hearts  of  his 
readers  whether  to  smiles  or  tears.  And  Howells,  the  last  of 
your  American  invaders  who  have  taken  England  by  storm. 
[Applause.]  These  are  your  glories,  these  are  the  men  who 
make  your  history.  These  are  the  men,  forgive  me  for  saying, 
of  whom  you  ought  to  be  proud,  if  you  are  not  heartily  proud. 
[Applause.] 

Gentlemen,  in  the  person  of  a  very  humble  Englishman  on 
the  one  side,  and  of  this  great  company  on  the  other,  let  me 
think  that  England  and  America  have  met  together  to-night, 
that  they  have  come  together  and  may  ever  stay  together. 
[Applause.]  Gentlemen,  we  are  one,  as  "Washington  Allston 
said,  and  most  truly  said, — the  great  painter  and  the  poet  who 
worked  in  this  city,  and  who  lies  not  far  off  in  the  Cambridge 
churchyard, — ^we  are  one  in  blood,  we  are  one  in  language,  we 
are  one  in  law,  we  are  one  in  hatred  of  oppression  and  love  of 
liberty.  [Cries  of  "Good"  and  loud  applause.]  We  are  bound 
together,  if  I  may  reverently  say  so,  by  God  Himself  in  golden 
chains  of  mutual  affection  and  mutual  respect,  and  two  nations 
so  joined  together,  I  am  firmly  convinced,  man  will  never  put 
asunder.     [Loud  and  prolonged  applause  and  cheers.] 


THE  ARMY. 

Field  Marshal  Sib  Evelyn  Wood. 

The  London  Times,  of  Monday,  the  second  of  May,  1910,  said: 
"The  Anniversary  banquet  of  the  Royal  Academy  of  Arts  took  place 
on  Saturday  evening  at  Burlington  House.  The  guests,  who  included 
the  Prince  of  Wales,  were  welcomed  by  the  President,  Sir  E.  J. 
Poynter.  There  was,  as  usual  on  these  occasions,  a  very  brilliant 
company,  representative  of  all  that  is  most  distinguished  in  society, 
literature,  science,  and  art.  A  guard  of  honor  of  the  Artists'  Rifles  was 
mounted  in  the  court-yard.  The  staircases  were  profusely  decorated 
with  flowers  and  foliage.  The  string  band  of  the  Royal  Artillery  played 
during  the  evening,  and  the  Children  of  the  Chapels  Royal  sang  a 
number  of  glees."  In  introducing  the  toast,  The  Imperial  Forces,  the 
President  said:  The  Navy  and  Military  Forces  of  the  Empire  are  now 
the  subject  of  my  toast.  A  fortunate  era  of  peace  has  not  called  for 
action  on  the  part  of  either  branch  of  the  Imperial  Forces,  and,  as 
far  as  I  can  gather,  the  efforts  of  our  gallant  sailors  and  soldiers  are 
devoted  to  their  better  organization  and  the  never  ceasing  preparation 
for  the  always  possible,  but,  it  is  to  be  hoped,  far  distant  contingency 
of  war.  [Cheers.]  The  high  character  of  the  men  of  whom  the 
Services  are  composed  is  a  guarantee  to  the  country  that  they  will 
neglect  nothing  to  promote  efficiency,  whether  it  depend  on  their  own 
initiative  or  in  seconding  the  policy  of  their  official  chiefs.  [Cheers.] 
I  give  you  the  toast  of  the  Imperial  Forces.  With  the  Navy  I  am 
permitted  to  couple  the  name  of  Admiral  of  the  Fleet  Sir  Edward 
Seymour,  whose  term  of  flfty-seven  years  of  active  service  has,  as 
every  one  will  be  sorry  to  learn,  come  to  an  end  with  his  birthday 
to-day  [cheers],  and  with  the  Army  that  of  Field  Marshal  Sir  Evelyn 
Wood  [cheers],  who  has  kindly  consented  to  charge  himself  with 
responding  for  it. 

Since  I  had  the  honor  of  replying  to  the  toast  of  the  Army 
in  this  gallery  twelve  months  ago  I  have  had  opportunities  of 
watching  a  considerable  body  of  troops  engaged  in  autumn 
manoeuvers,  with  which  mimic  war  I  have  been  associated  since 
1871.  Last  September  some  of  the  marches  were  long  and  the 
daily  operations  were  prolonged.     I  have  been  studying  the 

204 


THE  AEMY  205 

Army  since  1854.  In  the  sad  Crimean  winter  of  1854-5  I  served 
in  the  trenches  with  eight  battalions,  in  which  seventy-three  out 
of  every  hundred  men  died  from  starvation  and  want  of  clothes. 
Those  old  soldiers,  with  a  noble  reticence,  never  murmured. 
"Mr.  Punch"  records  the  only  sarcastic  remark  which  I  remem- 
ber to-day.  He  depicts  two  soldiers  who  were  half  naked.  One 
is  saying,  *'Bill,  they  say  they  are  going  to  give  us  a  medal." 
"Really!  Perhaps  they  will  give  us  a  coat  to  put  it  on." 
[Laughter  and  cheers,]  The  soldiers  who  were  at  duty  were 
mostly  fit  only  for  a  convalescent  home,  and  could  apparently 
scarcely  crawl;  but  even  in  the  darkest  night  when  the  Rus- 
sians made  a  sortie  those  indomitable  men  would  charge  eagerly 
forward  in  response  to  the  shout  of  any  officer  whose  voice  they 
recognized.  [Cheers.]  I  am  often  asked  whether  our  soldiers 
of  to-day  would  fight  as  their  predecessors  did.  It  is  an  inter- 
esting subject  for  consideration.  Personally  I  have  no  doubt 
but  that  the  better  educated  and  more  fully  instructed  soldiers 
I  saw  in  the  Thames  Valley  last  September  would  fight  as  well 
as  those  men  with  whom  I  served  fifty-six  years  ago.  [Cheers.] 
The  private  soldier  is  now  better  instructed,  but  the  tactical 
skill  of  the  officers,  a  subject  to  which  I  have  given  attention 
for  some  thirty-five  years,  has  improved  beyond  what  I  had 
thought  would  have  been  possible.  [Cheers.]  Since  my  last 
command  five  years  ago  I  have  visited  the  camps  of  instruction 
every  year,  and  have  noticed  continuous  advance.  I  believe 
that  this  improvement  in  tactical  training  has  been  greatly 
helped  by  one  of  my  fellow  guests  here  to-night,  my  friend  and 
comrade,  General  Sir  John  French.     [Cheers.] 

You  may  be  willing  to  hear  an  unbiased  opinion  of  the  Ter. 
ritorial  Forces  from  one  who  told  you  last  year,  and  who  still 
maintains  that  the  nation  in  arms  is  the  only  safeguard  for 
the  home  defense  of  the  United  Kingdom.  [Cheers.]  As  Chair- 
man of  an  Association  I  get  side  lights  on  many  officers.  More- 
over, two  of  my  three  soldier  sons  have  in  the  last  month  been 
employed  in  teaching  classes  of  officers  of  the  Territorial  Forces. 
[Cheers.]  They  are  filled,  as  I  am,  with  admiration  for  the 
zeal  shown  by  these  gentlemen  in  acquiring  military  knowledge. 


206  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

[Cheers.]  As  I  have  expressed  such  an  opinion  you  will  not 
think  I  wish  to  depreciate  Territorials  when  I  venture  to  suggest 
that,  while  your  hanging  committee  has  doubtless  during  the 
last  month  been  obliged  for  want  of  space  to  reject  many  pic- 
tures showing  great  promise,  yet  the  standard  of  the  work  sent 
in  would  have  been  incomparably  higher  if  all  the  artists  had 
been  properly  taught  in  the  first  instance.  The  same  argument 
applies  to  trained  and  partly-trained  soldiers,  and  we  ought  to 
remember  that  if  our  Territorial  Forces  are  ever  to  be  employed 
in  the  defense  of  our  hearths  and  homes  they  will  have  to  fight 
nations  trained  to  arms  for  many  generations.  [Cheers.]  The 
gifted  author  of  "The  Happy  Warrior"  wrote  in  a  poem,  **We 
live  by  admiration,  hope,  and  love."  I  love  the  Army,  admire 
the  spirit  of  the  Territorial  Forces,  and  hope  that  many  here 
to-night  may  live  to  see  universal  service  for  home  defense. 
[Cheers.] 


HIS  MAJESTY'S  MINISTERS. 

Lord  Morley. 

At  the  Royal  Academy  Banquet  of  1910,  the  President,  Sir  E.  J, 
Poynter,  said,  in  proposing  the  toast  of  his  Majesty's  Ministers:  The 
Parliamentary  recess  has  permitted  the  escape  from  town  of  most  of 
his  Majesty's  Ministers,  and  I  am  only  expressing  the  wish  of  every 
one  present  In  hoping  that  they  will  return  from  a  much  needed 
holiday  refreshed  by  a  rest  from  the  prolonged  and  severe  labors  of 
the  Session.  [Cheers.]  We  are  fortunate,  however,  in  that  one,  and 
he  not  the  least  distinguished  member  of  the  Government,  graces  our 
table  by  his  presence  to-night.  Lord  Beaconsfleld  once  asked  what  hi3 
Majesty's  Ministers  have  to  do  with  the  Royal  Academy.  It  is,  per 
haps,  as  Lord  Salisbury  once  suggested  in  this  room,  in  the  appre- 
ciation of  favors  not  yet  bestowed  that  the  Royal  Academy  invites  the 
members  of  the  Government  to  its  table  [laughter],  though  I  wouM 
rather  think  that  it  is  a  desire  on  the  part  of  the  Royal  Academy 
to  give  honor  where  honor  is  due.  [Hear,  hear.]  Certainly,  the 
Academy  would  wish  for  nothing  better  than  that  the  fine  arts  should 
receive  liberal  consideration  from  the  Government;  and  we  may  con- 
sider that  the  appointment  of  the  Committee  of  the  House  of  Lords 
on  the  decoration  of  the  Houses  of  Parliament,  to  which  I  referred 
last  year,  is  a  step  In  the  right  direction  towards  the  Government's 
recognition  of  art.  [Cheers.]  In  any  case,  if  the  Government  has  not 
been  liberal  in  itself — I  mean  liberal  In  the  financial  sense  [laughter] 
^it  has  been  the  cause  of  liberality  in  others;  and  we  may  hope  soon 
to  see  in  the  series  of  paintings  now  being  executed  In  one  of  the 
corridors  of  the  House  of  Lords  the  results  of  the  generous  donations 
from  private  individuals  which  Lord  Stanmore's  committee  has 
called  forth.  [Cheers.]  We  have  also  to  acknowledge  substantial 
aid  from  the  Treasury  towards  an  exhibition  of  pictures  which  will 
shortly  be  opened  at  Buenos  Ayres,  thus  converting  what  might  have 
been  a  purely  private  speculation  into  an  enterprise  of  some  national 
importance.  Thus  our  debt  to  his  Majesty's  Ministers  does  not  con- 
sist entirely  of  gratitude  for  future  favors.  I  am  permitted  to  asso- 
ciate with  this  toast  the  name  of  Viscount  Morley,  who  Is  here  not 
only  as  the  representative  of  his  Majesty's  Government  on  this  occa- 
sion, but  as  an  honorary  member  of  this  Academy,  on  whom  we  look 
:with  peculiar  regard.     [Cheers.] 

207 


208  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

I  am  quite  sure  that  all  my  colleagues  whom  I  am  called 
upon  to  represent  to-night  sincerely  regret  their  absence  from 
this  anniversary  of  the  most  exhilarating  and  inspiring  scenes. 
I  have  myself  attended  many  of  these  gatherings.  I  have 
responded  more  than  once  for  Literature,  and  now  it  is  my  duty 
to  respond  for  the  Government  of  the  day.  I  feel  fully  the 
responsibility  of  that  position.  You  will  all  recognize  how  diffi- 
cult it  is  for  one  to  transform  oneself  from  a  response  for 
Literature  to  a  response  for  the  Government  of  this  enormous 
realm  and  Empire,  for  which  we  are  in  our  several  degrees 
responsible. 

The  President  expressed  the  hope  that  the  Ministers  would 
return  from  their  various  cruises  refreshed  and  relieved. 
[Laughter.]  I  wonder  whether  you  will  agree  with  me — I  think 
you  will — that  if  his  Majesty's  Opposition  would  follow  the 
wholesome  practice  to  which  his  Majesty's  Government  have 
now  committed  themselves  and  were  to  forswear  for  a  good  solid 
month  all  further  appeal  to  the  eloquence  of  the  platform  and 
Senate,  whether  the  country  at  large  would  not  be  just  as  much 
refreshed  and  relieved  as  the  orators  and  statesmen  them- 
selves. [Laughter.]  Even  those  who,  like  Friar  Tuck  in  the 
great  novel,  delight  in  giving  and  receiving  blows  will,  I  think, 
admit  that  you  may  have  too  much  of  a  good  thing;  and  that 
for  many  months  past  we  have  all  of  us — not  those  of  us  who  cul- 
tivate the  ideal  and  the  beautiful,  but  those  of  us  who  are 
engaged  in  the  political  fight — had  enough  of  that  particular 
good  thing.  [Laughter.]  Refreshment  and  relief  from  work! 
There  is  no  doubt  that  the  burdens  and  responsibilities  of  great 
office  are  heavy.  The  cares  of  State — I  do  not  care  which  party 
bears  them — are  a  heavy  burden.  [Cheers.]  But  though  a  heavy 
burden,  they  have  in  them  an  exhilarating  quality.  All  those 
who  are  concerned  in  saying  ' '  Aye  "  or  "  No "  to  great  decisions 
of  policy  feel  that  there  is  something  in  that  which  makes  them 
bigger  and  more  elevated  in  character,  whatever  their  views 
may  be.  My  own  definition  of  hard  work  is  that  it  is  deciding. 
It  is  not  reading  great  multitudes  of  papers.  It  is  saying  "Yes" 
or  *^*No"  to  this  or  that  definite  question.    That  we  bear  as  we 


HIS  MAJESTY'S  MINISTERS  209 

best  can.  Politicians,  like  painters,  are  subject  to  critics,  and 
are,  perhaps,  tormented  by  them.  [Laughter.]  I  understand 
that  is  so.  As  far  as  politics  are  concerned,  our  burden  of 
criticism  is  heavy  if  you  attend  to  it.  [Laughter.]  If  we  were 
always  scrupulously  fair — I  am  speaking  of  politics,  not  of  the 
competition  of  artists — if  we  were  always  strictly  candid,  if 
we  were  always  mindful  of  that  most  tiresome  and  vexatious 
truth  that  there  are  two  sides  to  almost  every  question,  if  we 
were  careful  to  regard  unverified  quotations  in  debate,  or  a 
rather  stretched  representation  of  our  opponent's  case  as  a 
mortal  sin,  what  would  become  of  politics  1  There  would  be  no 
politics  [laughter]  ;  but  there  they  are.  To-night  I  do  not  for- 
get for  a  moment  the  august  audience  to  which  I  am  speaking. 
I  do  not  forget  that  we  have  in  this  assembly  to-night,  as  every 
year  when  this  anniversary  occurs,  men  who  are  called  to  the 
highest  responsibilities  in  the  administration  of  the  greatest 
affairs.  We  have  in  this  room  men  who  are  accomplished  in  all 
the  arts.  We  have  men  who  have  achieved  conspicuous  success 
in  every  walk  of  life.  [Cheers.]  It  would  ill  become  me  in  say- 
ing a  word  of  thanks  to  you  for  the  greeting  that  you  have 
given  to  the  present  toast,  to  launch  upon — I  am  sure  it  would 
be  unwelcome — any  observations  of  mine  upon  the  ideal,  upon 
the  functions  of  the  imagination,  upon  the  relations  of  art  to 
social  life,  or  of  speculations  as  to  the  nature  of  beauty.  I  should 
be  the  rashest  of  men  if  I  were  to  enter  upon  that  kind  of 
topic.  It  is  true,  as  the  President  was  gracious  and  kind  enough 
to  mention,  that  I  am  an  honorary  member  of  this  Academy; 
but  still  I  say  the  opposite  of  what  Giotto  said,  still  I  am  not 
a  painter.  [Laughter.]  I  will  not  embark  on  that  theme.  I 
tremble  lest  in  my  position,  in  which  I  think  I  succeed  Bishop 
Creighton,  I  should  be  called  upon  to  tell  you  to-night  all  about 
the  Greeks  and  the  Romans.     [Laughter.] 

You  all  remember  what  Squire  Western  said  in,  perhaps, 
the  greatest  of  English  novels,  when  they  had  been  talking  of 
the  ideal  and  of  this  and  that.  "Well  now,  let  us  talk  about 
the  State  of  the  nation,  or  something  that  everyone  under- 
stands all  about."     [Laughter  and  cheers.]     You  have  heard 


210  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

to-night  from  Admiral  Seymour  that  he  considers  the  state 
of  the  Navy  entirely  satisfactory.  You  have  heard  from  my 
friend  Field  Marshal  Sir  Evelyn  "Wood  that  he  has  got  some 
designs  of  his  own  as  to  ulterior  universal  compulsory  service. 
[Cheers.]  I  observe  that  this  illustrious  assemblage  rather 
assents  [laughter  and  cheers],  but  vsrhen  I  look  round,  with  all 
respect  to  my  betters,  I  wonder  how  many  here  are  going  to 
accept  that  doctrine  of  universal  compulsory  service,  either 
in  their  own  proper  persons  or  otherwise.  But  this  is  not  an 
occasion  for  the  discussion  of  that  question,  and  I  doubt  whether 
in  either  House  of  Parliament  it  will  be  at  this  moment  favor- 
ably received.  Still,  Sir  Evelyn  Wood  has  said  that,  on  the 
whole,  he  regards  the  efforts  of  my  right  honorable  friend,  the 
Secretary  of  State  for  War,  as  being  satisfactory  as  far  as 
circumstances  will  allow  him  to  go.  In  responding  for  his 
^Majesty's  Ministers  I  am  glad  to  notice  that  I  have  the  Navy 
on  one  side  entirely  satisfactory,  and  that  I  have  the  Army  on 
the  other  hand  carried  to  as  high  a  pitch  of  perfection  as  it 
could  be,  subject  to  the  restriction  of  the  service  not  being  uni- 
versal and  compulsory.  I  think,  on  the  whole,  this  toast  is 
justified  so  far  as  the  Navy  goes,  and  so  far  as  the  Army  goes. 
There  is  aU  the  rest  of  the  field  of  government  and  adminis- 
tration left  undefended.  [Laughter.]  If  I  were  to  attempt  to 
survey  the  whole  field  of  government  and  of  administration 
you  would  not  be  very  easily  or  shortly  released.  So  far  as 
that  Department  goes  in  which  my  own  responsibility  is  most 
immediately  and  gravely  concerned,  this  is  not  an  occasion  for 
going  into  all  the  difficulties — aye,  and  dangers — ^that  we  have 
for  the  time  surmounted.  Speaking  as  one  who  is  responsible 
to  Parliament  and  this  country  for  that  enormous  task,  and 
speaking  with  entire  thankfulness,  I  think  for  the  moment  the 
circumstances  are  satisfactory  and  hopeful.  We  believe  that  we 
have  overcome  great  difficulties,  that  we  have  prepared  the  way 
for  a  further  advance  in  the  same  direction  towards,  I  fervently 
hope  and  believe,  the  .same  satisfactory  end.  But  the  Indian 
Droblem  is  enormous.    Its  perils  are  not  easily  grasped  by  the 


HIS  MAJESTY'S  MINISTERS  211 

people  of  this  country;  but,  for  the  time,  I  do  believe  that  we 
are  not  entirely  undeserving  of  your  approval.     [Cheers.] 

It  would  sound  rather  absurd — ^would  it  not  ? — ^to  talk  of  the 
Ministry  without  any  reference  to  some  difficulties  that  are  now 
around  us.  I  am  sure  you  will  all  believe  that  I  am  the  very 
last  man  who  would  abuse  your  hospitality  by  talking  of  any- 
thing that  would  be  disagreeable  to  anybody  in  this  room.  I 
should  like  to  say  one  thing,  and  I  promise  that  no  offense  shall 
be  given  even  to  those  who,  though  they  have  magnanimously 
drunk  the  health  of  his  Majesty's  Ministers,  perhaps  do  not 
altogether  wish  them  a  long  life.  [Laughter.]  I  was  talking 
the  other  day  to  a  very  distinguished  traveler  who  had  just 
returned  from  visiting  some  of  our  most  important  Colonies,  and 
he  said  to  me:  **Well,  the  impression  is  that  the  old  country 
is  rather  failing,  that  there  is  a  sort  of  atmosphere  of  decadence 
about  it."  All  I  can  say  is,  with  a  pretty  good  opportunity,  I 
think,  of  judging,  I  do  not  believe  a  word  of  it.  [Cheers.]  It 
is  quite  true  that  this  country,  both  the  great  political  parties 
in  it,  and  all  the  political  parties — and  they  are  now  more  than 
adequate  in  numbers  [laughter] — ^they  are  in  a  position,  we 
shall  all  agree,  of  singular  difficulty.  "Why?  Because  certain 
questions,  containing  in  them  the  seeds  of  great  change  and 
new  departure,  have  come  to  the  front.  We  are  at  the  cross- 
roads, and  I  think  the  country,  though  it  is  not  convenient  for 
the  immediate  moment,  is  taking  its  time  for  needful  delibera- 
tion as  to  the  particular  road  it  shall  follow.  Nobody  will  deny 
the  importance  of  the  machinery  of  government,  but  the  real 
thing,  you  will  all  agree,  the  foundation  of  all  things,  is  the 
character  of  your  people.  [Cheers.]  I,  for  one,  after  a  great 
many  years,  too  many  years,  of  public  life,  of  close  contact  with 
great  bodies  of  men  of  all  classes,  declare  that  I  see  no  sign 
whatever  that  the  people  of  this  kingdom  are  not  just  as  sane, 
just  as  honest,  just  as  brave,  just  as  high-hearted  as  they  ever 
were  in  the  best  periods  of  our  history.  [Cheers.]  But,  the 
croakers  say,  "The  politician,  what  of  him?"  Well,  I  have 
only  one  circumstance  to  remind  this  assembly  of,  and  that  is 


212  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

that  there  have  been  two  or  three  debates  on  the  highest  themes 
that  can  test  the  quality  of  public  men.  There  have  been  two 
or  three  debates  in  both  Houses,  and  I  do  not  scruple  to  say 
that  in  both  Houses  and  on  both  sides  no  debates  have  ever 
shown  more  admirable  temper  of  mind,  a  more  elevated  desire, 
each  party  taking  its  own  view,  to  find  out  what  is  the  best  for 
the  prosperity  of  the  community  and  the  power  of  the  State. 
[Cheers.]  I  think  you  will  forgive  me  for  having  skated  on  this 
thin  ice,  but  if  you  are  to  talk  about  a  Ministry  and  about 
political  affairs,  it  is  as  well  to  present  to  anybody  who  is  good 
enough  to  listen  to  you  the  real  aspect  of  the  thing.  [Hear, 
hear.] 

I  will  only  add  one  word  more  as  to  what  the  President  said 
upon  the  relations  of  the  Royal  Academy  to  the  Government. 
He  said  honor  was  given  to  whom  honor  is  due,  and  he  admits 
that  the  Grovernment  have  been  the  cause  of  liberality  in  others 
even  though  not  entirely  liberal  themselves,  in  that  they  have 
accepted  seven  new  frescoes,  the  gift  of  seven  peers,  for  the 
corridors  of  the  Parliament  of  Westminster.  [Cheers.]  I  sup- 
pose not  the  most  ardent  of  Single  Chamber  men  will  look  that 
gift  in  the  mouth.  Then  on  the  other  side,  I  understand  that 
the  Royal  Academy  is  going  to  present  a  picture  which  is  to  be 
accepted  and  placed  in  St.  Stephen's  Hall  in  the  Palace  of 
Westminster.  There  is  one  very  small  thing,  for  which  I  think 
a  zealous,  active,  and  most  intelligent  friend  of  art  and  taste, 
Mr.  Harcourt,  deserves  great  credit.  He  has  acquiesced  in  the 
demolition  of  and  is  going  to  demolish  that  small  stable,  which 
has  made  many  of  us  tremble  for  many  a  long  year,  close  to 
the  National  Gallery.  It  is  going  to  be  demolished  and  the 
National  Gallery  and  the  National  Portrait  Gallery  will  be  left 
in  their  own  splendid  and  glorious  isolation.  I  thank  you  very 
sincerely  for  the  patience  with  which  you  have  been  good  enough 
to  listen  to  me  and  for  the  cordiality  with  which  you  have 
received  the  toast.     [Cheers.] 


WOMAN. 

Horace  Porter. 

General  Horace  Porter,  late  Ambassador  to  France,  responded  to 
the  toast  Woman  at  the  dinner  of  the  New  England  Society  in  New 
York  City,  December  twenty-second,  1883.  This  is  perhaps  the  most 
famous  toast  of  this  well-known  speaker. 

Mr.  President  and  Gentlemen:  When  this  toast  was  pro- 
posed to  me,  I  insisted  that  it  ought  to  be  responded  to  by  a 
bachelor,  by  some  one  who  is  known  as  a  ladies'  man;  but  in 
these  days  of  female  proprietorship  it  is  supposed  that  a  mar- 
ried person  is  more  essentially  a  ladies*  man  than  anybody  else, 
and  it  was  thought  that  only  one  who  had  had  the  courage  to 
address  a  lady  could  have  the  courage,  under  these  circum- 
stances, to  address  the  New  England  Society.     [Laughter.] 

The  toast,  I  see,  is  not  in  its  usual  order  to-night.  At  public 
dinners  this  toast  is  habitually  placed  last  on  the  list.  It  seems 
to  be  a  benevolent  provision  of  the  Committee  on  Toasts  in 
order  to  give  man  in  replying  to  Woman  one  chance  at  least  in 
life  of  having  the  last  word.  [Laughter.]  At  the  New  England 
dinners,  unfortunately,  the  most  fruitful  subject  of  remark 
regarding  woman  is  not  so  much  her  appearance  as  her  disap- 
pearance. I  know  that  this  was  remedied  a  few  years  ago, 
when  this  grand  annual  gastronomic  high  carnival  was  held  in 
the  Metropolitan  Concert  Hall.  There  ladies  were  introduced 
into  the  galleries  to  grace  the  scene  by  their  presence;  and  I 
am  sure  the  experiment  was  sufficiently  encouraging  to  warrant 
repetition,  for  it  was  beautiful  to  see  the  descendants  of  the 
Pilgrims  sitting  with  eyes  upturned  in  true  Puritanic  sanctity ; 
it  was  encouraging  to  see  the  sons  of  those  pious  sires  devoting 
themselves,  at  least  for  one  night,  to  setting  their  affections 
upon  ** things  above."     [Applause  and  laughter.] 

Woman's  first  home  was  in  the  Garden  of  Eden.  There  man 
first  married  woman.     Strange  that  the  incident  should  have 

213 


214  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

suggested  to  Milton  the  "Paradise  Lost."  [Laughter.]  Man 
was  placed  in  a  profound  sleep,  a  rib  was  taken  from  his  side, 
a  woman  was  created  from  it,  and  she  became  his  wife.  Evil- 
minded  persons  constantly  tell  us  that  thus  man's  first  sleep 
became  his  last  repose.  But  if  woman  be  given  at  times  to 
that  contrariety  of  thought  and  perversity  of  mind  which  some- 
times passeth  our  understanding,  it  must  be  recollected  in  her 
favor  that  she  was  created  out  of  the  crookedest  part  of  man. 
[Laughter.] 

The  Rabbins  have  a  different  theory  regarding  creation.  They 
go  back  to  the  time  when  we  were  all  monkeys.  They  insist 
that  man  was  originally  created  with  a  kind  of  Darwinian  tail, 
and  that  in  the  process  of  evolution  this  caudal  appendage  was 
removed  and  created  into  woman.  This  might  better  account 
for  those  Caudle  lectures  which  woman  is  in  the  habit  of  deliver- 
ing, and  some  color  is  given  to  this  theory,  from  the  fact  that 
husbands  even  down  to  the  present  day  seem  to  inherit  a  gen- 
eral disposition  to  leave  their  wives  behind.     [Laughter.] 

The  first  woman,  finding  no  other  man  in  that  garden  except 
her  own  husband,  took  to  flirting  even  with  the  Devil.  [Laugh- 
ter.] The  race  might  have  been  saved  much  tribulation  if  Eden 
had  been  located  in  some  calm  and  tranquil  land — ^like  Ireland. 
There  would  at  least  have  been  no  snakes  there  to  get  into 
the  garden.  Now  woman,  in  her  thirst  for  knowledge,  showed 
her  true  female  inquisitiveness  in  her  cross-examination  of  the 
serpent,  and,  in  commemoration  of  that  circumstance,  the  ser- 
pent seems  to  have  been  curled  up  and  used  in  nearly  all  lan- 
guages as  a  sign  of  interrogation.  Soon  the  domestic  troubles 
of  our  first  parents  began.  The  first  woman's  favorite  son  was 
killed  with  a  club,  and  married  women  even  to  this  day  seem 
to  have  an  instinctive  horror  of  clubs.  This  first  woman  learned 
that  it  was  Cain  that  raised  a  club.  The  modern  woman  has 
learned  it  is  a  club  that  raises  cain.  Yet,  I  think,  I  recognize 
faces  here  to-night  that  I  see  behind  the  windows  of  Fifth 
avenue  clubs  of  an  afternoon,  with  their  noses  pressed  flat 
against  the  broad  plate  glass,  and  as  woman  trips  along  the 


WOMAN  215 

sidewalk,  I  have  observed  that  these  gentlemen  appear  to  be 
more  assiduously  engaged  than  ever  was  a  government  scien- 
tific commission  in  taking  observations  upon  the  transit  of 
Venus.     [Laughter.] 

Before  those  windows  passes  many  a  face  fairer  than  that  of 
the  Ludovician  Juno  or  the  Venus  of  Medici.  There  is  the 
Saxon  blonde  with  the  deep  blue  eyes,  whose  glances  return 
love  for  love,  whose  silken  tresses  rest  upon  her  shoulders  like 
a  wealth  of  golden  fleece,  each  thread  of  which  looks  like  a  ray 
of  the  morning  sunbeam.  There  is  the  Latin  brunette  with 
deep,  black,  piercing  eye,  whose  jetty  lashes  rest  like  silken 
fringe  upon  the  pearly  texture  of  her  dainty  cheek,  looking 
like  ravens'  wings  spread  out  upon  new-fallen  snow. 

And  yet  the  club  man  is  not  happy.  As  the  ages  roll  on 
woman  has  materially  elevated  herself  in  the  scale  of  being. 
Now  she  stops  at  nothing.  She  soars.  She  demands  the  coedu- 
cation of  the  sexes.  She  thinks  nothing  of  delving  into  the  most 
abstruse  problems  of  the  higher  branches  of  analytical  science. 
She  can  cipher  out  the  exact  hour  of  the  night  when  her  husband 
ought  to  be  home,  either  according  to  the  old  or  the  recently 
adopted  method  of  calculating  time.  I  never  knew  of  but  one 
married  man  who  gained  any  decided  domestic  advantage  by 
this  change  in  our  time.  He  was  an  habitue  of  a  club  situated 
next  door  to  his  house.  His  wife  was  always  upbraiding  him 
for  coming  home  too  late  at  night.  Fortunately,  when  they 
made  this  change  of  time,  they  placed  one  of  those  meridians 
from  which  our  time  is  calculated  right  between  the  club  and 
his  house.  [Laughter.]  Every  time  he  stepped  across  that 
imaginary  line  it  set  him  back  a  whole  hour  in  time.  He  found 
that  he  could  leave  his  club  at  one  o'clock  and  get  home  to  his 
wife  at  twelve;  and  for  the  first  time  in  twenty  years  peace 
reigned  around  that  hearthstone.     [Laughter.] 

"Woman  now  revels  even  in  the  more  complicated  problems 
of  mathematical  astronomy.  Give  a  woman  ten  minutes  and  she 
will  describe  a  heliocentric  parallax  of  the  heavens.  Give  her 
twenty  minutes  and  she  will  find  astronomically  the  longitude  of 


216  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

a  place  by  means  of  lunar  culminations.  Give  that  same  woman 
an  hour  and  a  half,  with  the  present  fashions,  and  she  cannot 
find  the  pocket  in  her  dress. 

And  yet  man's  admiration  for  woman  never  flags.  He  will 
give  her  half  his  fortune;  he  will  give  her  his  whole  heart;  he 
seems  always  willing  to  give  her  everything  he  possesses,  except  his 
seat  in  a  horse-car.     [Laughter.] 

Every  nation  has  had  its  heroines  as  well  as  its  heroes.  Eng- 
land in  her  wars  had  a  Florence  Nightingale ;  and  the  soldiers  in 
the  expression  of  their  admiration,  used  to  stoop  and  kiss  the 
hem  of  her  garment  as  she  passed.  America,  in  her  war,  had  a 
Dr.  Mary  Walker.  Nobody  ever  stooped  to  kiss  the  hem  of  her 
garment — ^because  that  was  not  exactly  the  kind  of  garment  she 
wore.  [Laughter.]  But  why  should  man  stand  here  and 
attempt  to  speak  for  woman,  when  she  is  so  abundantly  equipped 
to  speak  for  herself.  I  know  that  is  the  case  in  New  England; 
and  I  am  reminded,  by  seeing  General  Grant  here  to-night,  of 
an  incident  in  proof  of  it  which  occurred  when  he  was  making 
that  marvelous  tour  throughout  New  England,  just  after  the 
war.  The  train  stopped  at  a  station  in  the  State  of  Maine.  The 
General  was  standing  on  the  rear  platform  of  the  last  car.  At 
that  time,  as  you  know,  he  had  a  great  reputation  for  silence — 
for  it  was  before  he  had  made  his  series  of  brilliant  speeches 
before  the  New  England  Society.  They  spoke  of  his  reticence 
— a  quality  which  New  Englanders  admire  so  much — in  others. 
[Laughter.]  Suddenly  there  was  a  commotion  in  the  crowd, 
and  as  it  opened,  a  large,  tall,  gaunt-looMng  woman  came  rush- 
ing toward  the  car  out  of  breath.  Taking  her  spectacles  off  from 
the  top  of  her  head  and  putting  them  on  her  nose,  she  put  her 
arms  akimbo,  and  looking  up  said:  ''Well,  I've  just  come  down 
here  a  runnin'  nigh  onto  two  mile,  right  on  the  clean  jump, 
just  to  get  a  look  at  the  man  that  lets  the  women  do  all  the 
talkin '. "     [  Laughter.  ] 

The  first  regular  speaker  of  the  evening  [William  M.  Evarts] 
touched  upon  woman,  but  only  incidentally,  only  in  reference 
to  Mormonism  and  that  sad  land  of  Utah,  where  a  single  death 
may  make  a  dozen  widows.    [Laughter.] 


WOMAN  217 

A  speaker  at  the  New  England  dinner  in  Brooklyn  last  night 
[Henry  Ward  Beecher]  tried  to  prove  that  the  Mormons  came 
originally  from  New  Hampshire  and  Vermont.  I  know  that  a 
New  Englander  sometimes  in  the  course  of  his  life  marries  several 
times ;  but  he  takes  the  precaution  to  take  his  wives  in  their  proper 
order  of  legal  succession.  The  difference  is  that  he  drives  his 
team  of  wives  tandem,  while  the  Mormon  insists  upon  driving 
his  abreast.    [Laughter.] 

But  even  the  least  serious  of  us,  Mr.  President,  have  some 
serious  moments  in  which  to  contemplate  the  true  nobility  of 
woman's  character.  If  she  were  created  from  a  rib,  she  was  made 
from  that  part  which  lies  nearest  a  man's  heart. 

It  has  been  beautifully  said  that  man  was  fashioned  out  of 
the  dust  of  the  earth  while  woman  was  created  from  God's  own 
image.  It  is  our  pride  in  this  land  that  woman's  honor  is  her 
own  best  defense ;  that  here  female  virtue  is  not  measured  by  the 
vigilance  of  detective  nurses ;  that  here  woman  may  walk  through- 
out the  length  and  the  breadth  of  this  land,  through  its  highways 
and  its  byways,  uninsulted,unmolested,  clothed  in  the  invulnerable 
panoply  of  her  own  woman's  virtue ;  that  even  in  the  places  where 
crime  lurks  and  vice  prevails  in  the  haunts  of  our  great  cities, 
and  in  the  rude  mining  gulches  of  the  West,  owing  to  the  noble 
efforts  of  our  women,  and  the  influence  of  their  example,  there 
are  raised  up  even  there,  girls  who  are  good  daughters,  loyal 
wives  and  faithful  mothers.  They  seem  to  rise  in  those  rude  sur- 
roundings as  grows  the  pond  lily,  which  is  entangled  by  every 
species  of  rank  growth,  environed  by  poison,  miasma  and  corrup- 
tion, and  yet  which  rises  in  the  beauty  of  its  purity  and  lifts  its 
fair  face  unblushing  to  the  sun. 

No  one  who  has  witnessed  the  heroism  of  America's  daughters 
in  the  field  should  fail  to  pay  a  passing  tribute  to  their  worth.  I 
do  not  speak  alone  of  those  trained  Sisters  of  Charity,  who  in 
scenes  of  misery  and  woe  seem  Heaven's  chosen  messengers  on 
earth ;  but  I  would  speak  also  of  those  fair  daughters  who  came 
forth  from  the  comfortable  firesides  of  New  England  and  other 
States,  little  trained  to  scenes  of  suffering,  little  used  to  the  rude- 
ness of  life  in  camp,  who  gave  their  all,  their  time,  their  health, 


218  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

and  even  life  itself,  as  a  willing  sacrifice  in  that  cause  which  then 
moved  the  nation's  soul.  As  one  of  these,  with  her  graceful  form, 
was  seen  moving  silently  through  the  darkened  aisles  of  an  army 
hospital,  as  the  motion  of  her  passing  dress  wafted  a  breeze  across 
the  face  of  the  wounded,  they  felt  that  their  parched  brows  had 
been  fanned  by  the  wings  of  the  angel  of  mercy. 

Ah !  Mr.  President,  woman  is  after  all  a  mystery.  It  has  been 
well  said  that  woman  is  the  greatest  conundrum  of  the  nineteenth 
century;  but  if  we  cannot  guess  her,  we  will  never  give  her  up. 
[Applause.] 


NEW  ORLEANS. 

John  Hay. 

This  address  was  prepared  for  the  occasion  of  the  Secretary  of 
State's  visit  to  New  Orleans  with  President  McKInley  in  1901,  but  was 
not  delivered. 

I  am  glad  of  the  opportunity  to  express  in  behalf  of  my  col- 
leagues, as  well  as  myself,  our  grateful  appreciation  of  the  recep- 
tion we  have  met  with  in  this  superb  Southern  capital.  However 
your  kindness  may  have  exceeded  in  some  cases  our  personal 
deserts — and  I  speak  especially  of  myself, — I  am  sure  that  so  far 
as  our  intentions  are  concerned,  we  have  deserved  your  good  will. 
I  make  bold  to  say  that  in  a  long  period  of  observation  of  public 
affairs  I  have  never  known  an  administration  more  anxious  than 
the  present  one  to  promote  the  interests  of  every  section  of  the 
country.  I  need  not  say  where  our  inspiration,  our  directing 
force,  comes  from.  If  you  want  to  see  an  American,  body  and 
soul,  through  and  through,  in  every  fibre  of  his  being  devoted  to 
the  welfare  of  his  country — ^his  whole  country — he  is  your  guest 
this  evening.  And  as  this  genial  air  naturally  predisposes  our 
Northern  hearts  to  expansion  and  confidence,  I  will  venture  to 
say  that  those  of  us  who  are  with  him  are  like  him  except  in  fame 
and  ability.  We  are  all  Democrats,  we  are  all  Republicans,  we 
are  all  Americans.  We  have  no  principles  which  will  not  equally 
suit  the  climate  of  Massachusetts  and  that  of  Louisiana.  Per- 
haps, in  the  department  with  which  I  am  more  immediately  con- 
cerned, we  have  been  working  rather  more  in  the  interest  of  the 
South  than  in  that  of  other  sections.  We  have  done  our  best  to 
extend  your  markets  by  reciprocal  treaties  and  other  measures, 
and  to  clear  away  all  barriers  to  an  Isthmian  Canal  under  Amer- 
ican ownership  and  control.  We  have  felt  it  was  time  for  the 
South  to  share  in  the  general  prosperity,  and  we  know  every  sec- 
tion will  profit  by  what  benefits  one. 

219 


220  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

"Will  you  allow  me  one  personal  word  to  express  the  pleasure 
with  which  I  find  myself  here  ?  My  boyhood  was  passed  on  the 
banks  of  the  Mississippi — but  so  vast  is  the  extent  of  the  territory 
traversed  by  this  mighty  river  **  which  drains  our  Andes  and 
divides  a  world,"  so  cosmical  in  the  range  of  climate  through 
which  it  passes,  that  when  I  was  young,  its  northern  and  southern 
regions  seemed  alien  and  strange  to  each  other  in  all  aspects  save 
those  of  patriotic  national  pride.  To  us  for  a  part  of  the  year 
it  was  a  white  and  dazzling  bridge,  safe  as  a  city  street  for  sleigh- 
ing and  skating,  framed  in  by  snow-clad  bluffs ;  but  we  loved  to 
think  that  far  away  to  the  South  it  flowed  through  a  land  of 
perpetual  summer,  fragrant  with  fruits  and  ever  blooming  flow- 
ers, blessed  continually  with  days  of  sunshine  and  nights  of  balm. 
"We  thought  of  you  without  envy,  but  with  joy  that  your  enchanted 
land  was  ours  also — ^that  we,  too,  had  a  share  in  your  goodly 
heritage.  All  through  my  childhood  New  Orleans  was  to  me  a 
realm  of  faery,  a  land  of  dreams.  And  when  I  grew  older  I  read 
with  delight  your  history  and  your  literature — ^the  one  filled  with 
romance  in  action,  the  other  constantly  distinguished  by  the  touch 
of  Southern  grace  and  Latin  art.  I  always  wanted  to  see  for 
myself  the  beauty  of  this  region,  to  study  on  the  spot  the  secret 
of  its  charm.  But  the  strong  gods  Fate  and  Circumstance  con- 
tinually prevented  until  this  day.  Now  I  have  come,  and  found, 
like  a  famous  queen  of  the  East,  that  the  half  has  never  been  told. 
I  am  less  fortunate  than  Her  Majesty  of  Sheba — as  she  was  young 
and  enjoyed  the  Oriental  leisure ;  while  I  am  old  and  in  an  Amer- 
ican hurry.  I  shall  always  be  glad,  though,  even  of  this  tantaliz- 
ing glimpse.  But  the  one  piece  of  advice  I  shall  venture  to  give 
to  those  of  you  who  may  not  know  the  North,  is,  don't  put  off  your 
visit  too  long.  Come  and  see  us  while  you  are  young,  and  this 
excludes  nobody,  for  you  all  are  young.  I  have  never  seen  so 
much  youth  and  beauty  as  in  the  last  few  days.  Men  who  are 
contemporaries  of  mine,  who  according  to  the  calendar  and  the 
army  lists  ought  to  be  passing  into  the  lean  and  slippered  pan- 
taloon, who  won  world-wide  fame  in  the  sixties,  men  who  fought 
Grant  and  Sherman  to  a  standstill,  have  the  looks,  the  spirit  and 
the  speech  of  boys.    I  can  only  conjecture  that  they  have  sue- 


NEW  ORLEANS  221 

ceeded  whers  Ponee  de  Leon  failed  in  discovering  the  fountain 
of  Perpetual  Youth,  and  naturally  enough,  are  keeping  it  a  secret 
from  the  rest  of  us. 


CAMPAIGNING  IN  INDIANA. 

John  Worth  Kern. 

Remarks  by  George  T.  Buckingham,  Toastmaster. 

At  the  sixth  annual  dinner  of  the  Indiana  Society  of  Chicago,  held 
at  the  Congress  Hotel  the  tenth  of  December,  1912,  Mr.  Kern  re- 
sponded to  this  toast.  A  short  time  after  this  dinner  Mr.  Kern  was 
elected  by  the  Indiana  Legislature  a  United  States  Senator.  Mr. 
George  T.  Buckingham  said  in  introducing  Mr.  Kern:  I  see  that 
Indiana  art  maintains  its  old  time  popularity.  We  now  expect  to 
place  on  exhibition  an  example  of  thirty-third  degree  politics.  The 
next  speaker  is  past  master  of  the  art  of  campaigning,  about  which 
he  intends  to  discourse.  It  might  be  stated,  however,  that  campaign- 
ing in  Indiana  is  not  what  it  used  to  be.  It  has  degenerated,  and 
entirely  lacks  the  enthusiasm  which  marked  it  when  I  was  a  boy  in  an 
Indiana  school.  At  that  time  the  citizens  were  divided  into  two  dis- 
tinct classes — the  members  of  our  party  and  horse  thieves.  This 
could  be  verified  by  the  statements  at  any  political  meeting.  In 
order  to  cause  our  party  to  triumph,  and  suppress  the  enemies  of 
good  government  who  opposed  us,  it  was  necessary  to  march  many 
miles  attired  in  a  bearskin  hat,  carrying  a  large  oil  lamp  hung  on  a 
long  stick,  and  wear  a  cape  made  out  of  oilcloth.  Only  in  this  way 
could  the  country  be  saved.  The  oil  skin  cape  was  for  the  purpose 
of  permitting  the  oil  lamp  to  drip  on  it.  A  procession  made  up  in. 
this  manner,  headed  by  a  brass  band,  would  take  from  three  minutes 
to  two  hours  to  pass  a  given  point — three  minutes,  as  Indicated  by 
the  opposing  newspapers,  edited  by  persons  with  small  respect  for 
the  truth,  two  hours  according  to  the  veracious  account  of  your  own 
partisan  newspaper.  It  was  customary  for  candidates  for  office  to 
apprise  the  people  as  to  the  precise  shortcomings  of  the  rival  candi- 
dates, the  latter  being  frequently  defaulters,  and  invariably  traitors. 
Nobody  but  traitors  ever  ran  on  the  other  ticket  There  were  no 
independents  or  mugwumps.  If  a  man  was  born  a  Republican  or  a 
Democrat  he  was  supposed  to  live  and  die  in  that  faith,  otherwise 
he  was  a  "turn  coat,"  a  term  much  dreaded  by  all  persons  with  proper 
feelings. 

There  was  a  zeal  and  earnestness  in  the  old  time  campaigns  which 
is  sadly  missing  in  the  present-day  political  discussions.     However, 

222 


CAMPAIGNING  IN  INDIANA  223 

as  to  these  latter-day  campaigns,  I  know  little.  The  distinguished 
gentleman  will  be  able  to  enlighten  you  on  that  subject.  He  has 
demonstrated  his  absolute  ability  in  the  management  of  both  the 
old  and  the  modern  kind  of  campaign,  and  he  will  tell  you  exactly 
how  It  is  done.  This,  however,  is  under  one  pledge,  namely.  In  hav- 
ing unfolded  to  the  members  of  the  Society  the  exact  method  of 
gaining  a  senatorial  toga,  you  are  not  to  make  use  of  that  informa- 
tion by  moving  back  to  Indiana  and  becoming  candidates  yourselves. 
I  have  now  the  great  pleasure  of  introducing  to  you  the  Honorable 
John  W.  Kern.     [Prolonged  applause.] 

Mr.  Chairman  and  Fellow  Indianians:  I  am  reminded  by  a 
remark  just  made  by  the  toastmaster  of  how  the  Democratic 
heart  was  made  glad  in  the  town  of  Kokomo,  where  I  hailed  from, 
many  years  ago  by  the  unexampled  fairness  of  a  Republican 
editor.  Soon  after  a  Democratic  meeting  there  he  was  fair 
enough  to  say  that  the  Democratic  procession  was  an  hour  and 
three-quarters  in  passing  a  given  point,  but  then  cruelly  added 
that  the  point  was  a  saloon.    [Laughter  and  applause.] 

I  have  come  up  here  to-night  to  this  great  city ;  I  have  come 
right  from  the  midst  of  the  plain  people  to  speak  a  few  words  of 
truth  and  soberness  to  you  plutocrats  of  Chicago  who  in  the  years 
gone  by  turned  your  backs  upon  the  cranberry  marshes,  the  turnip 
fields  and  tlie  blackberry  patches  of  good  old  Indiana,  leaving 
some  of  us  behind  to  assume  the  burden  of  the  great  responsi- 
bility which  you  have  sought  to  shirk.  [Laughter.]  We  can  all 
recall  the  time  when  we,  too,  hoped  to  leave  the  cranberry  marshes 
and  turnip  fields  and  blackberry  patches  and  come  up  here  and 
join  you  gentlemen  in  your  very  noble  occupation  of  absorbing 
the  wealth  of  the  world. 

It  is  a  very  delicate  duty  which  I  have  to  perform  here 
to-night,  and  I  am  very  greatly  perturbed  as  I  look  out  on  the 
faces  of  this  splendid  audience.  I  feel  very  much  in  the  condi- 
tion of  Bill  Ring's  clock.  Bill  was  a  celebrated  Indiana  politi- 
cian. He  told  me  once  in  confidence  that  they  had  a  clock  in 
their  house  that  was  in  such  condition  that  when  it  struck  six 
and  when  the  hands  were  at  half  past  four,  then  the  family  knew 
it  was  twenty  minutes  to  two.     [Laughter.] 

In  order  to  establish  any  right  to  membership  in  the  Indiana 


224  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

Society  of  Chicago  I  may  be  pardoned  if  I  state  that  I  was  bom 
in  the  village  of  Alto,  which  is  situated  four  miles  and  a  half 
southwest  of  that  beautiful  and  classic  city,  Kokomo.  [Renewed 
laughter.]  That  you  may  know  something  about  the  population 
of  Alto  I  will  say  to  you  that  in  the  campaign  two  years  ago, 
the  campaign  of  1908,  it  was  my  fortune  to  be  called  upon  to 
speak  in  the  City  of  Utica,  New  York,  the  home  of  my  distin- 
guished and  honorable  competitor.  Sunny  Jim  Sherman.  I  hesi- 
tate about  mentioning  that  campaign.  It  is  a  sort  of  a  sad  epoch 
in  my  life.     [Laughter.] 

It  was  recalled  to  me  last  night  over  at  South  Bend  by  my 
friend  Wilbur  D.  Nesbit,  who  has  taken  a  place  over  in  the 
gallery  there ;  I  was  wondering  who  it  was  that  voted  the  Demo- 
cratic ticket  in  the  campaign  of  1908  and  who  it  was  voted  for 
me  for  Vice-President,  and  he  vouchsafed  the  information  last 
night  that  he  was  the  other  fellow  that  cast  that  ballot. 
[Laughter.] 

When  I  arrived  in  Utica  I  was  met  at  the  station  by  a  com- 
mittee of  distinguished  Democrats,  who  informed  me  that  on  that 
day  a  gentleman  from  Indiana,  an  old  time  friend  of  mine,  had 
called  there  and  had  expressed  his  regrets  that  he  would  not  be 
able  to  attend  the  meeting  which  was  to  be  held  on  that  occasion, 
but  he  left  a  letter  for  me.  When  I  went  to  the  hotel  I  opened 
the  letter.  It  was  from  a  gentleman  who  is  one  of  the  most  dis- 
tinguished tramp  printers  in  this  country,  formerly  a  citizen  of 
Kokomo.  He  stated  in  the  letter  that  he  had  come  into  Utica 
that  day  on  a  freight  train;  that  his  necessities  were  such  that 
he  would  be  compelled  to  go  to  work  in  a  printing  office  at  six 
o'clock  that  evening,  and  he  said  he  thought  it  was  too  bad  that 
a  distinguished  citizen  of  Kokomo  like  himself  would  be  unable 
to  greet  a  distinguished  citizen  from  Kokomo  like  myself,  although 
such  was  the  case.  A  little  further  down  he  said :  *  *  You  are  per- 
haps as  well  advised  as  any  man  in  the  country  as  to  the  exact 
population  of  Alto,  Howard  County,  Indiana.  This  is  to  assure 
you,  my  dear  friend,  that  I  have  more  drinks  under  my  belt  right 
now  than  there  are  people  in  the  town. ' '  [Prolonged  laughter  and 
applause.] 


CAMPAIGNING  IN  INDIANA  225 

When  your  committee  on  censorship  notified  me  that  they  were 
satisfied  with  the  subject  selected  by  me,  namely,  ' '  Campaigning 
in  Indiana,"  I  assumed  that  I  had  a  very  great  task  before  me, 
and  at  considerable  pains  I  prepared  a  sort  of  a  romantic  serial 
on  that  subject,  treating  the  subject  campaign  by  campaign  for 
thirty  years.  [Laughter.]  I  supposed,  of  course,  that  I  would 
have  the  whole  evening  to  myself.  [Renewed  laughter.]  I  did 
not  expect  to  finish  it  in  one  evening,  in  fact.  My  idea  was  to 
commence  at  the  beginning  of  my  political  career — I  will  not  give 
you  that  date  [laughter] — and  give  you  this  evening  in  the  course 
of  an  hour  and  a  half  that  I  thought  might  be  allotted  me,  the 
history  of  the  campaigns  of  Indiana  down  to  the  tragic  campaign 
of  1896;  and  then  at  the  culmination,  which  I  presumed  would 
be  held  down  on  George  Ade's  farm  next  summer,  I  would  com- 
plete it  and  bring  it  down  to  date.  But  when  I  discovered  later 
that  other  gentlemen  were  expected  to  say  something  on  this 
occasion  I  saw  how  impossible  that  kind  of  work  would  be ;  espe- 
cially when  I  learned  that  a  gentleman,  my  distinguished  friend, 
John  L.  Griffiths,  had  been  brought  across  the  sea  to  talk  to  you, 
I  made  up  my  mind  that  according  to  all  well-known  principles 
of  international  policy  he  ought  to  be  given  some  of  the  time. 
[Laughter.]  So  I  have  been  called  upon  to  revise  the  work  and 
to  reduce  the  work  as  originally  planned,  and  with  your  kind 
permission  I  will  commence  at  the  latter  end  of  my  campaign 
and  speak  briefly,  as  briefly  as  I  can,  about  some  things  that  hap- 
pened in  the  late  campaign. 

It  was  a  very  agreeable  campaign  all  the  way  through 
[laughter]  ;  but  no  part  of  it  was  quite  so  agreeable  as  the  conclu- 
sion. [Renewed  laughter.]  Of  course,  it  is  a  sort  of  happy  sub- 
ject for  me  to  talk  about,  when  I  look  abroad  over  the  country 
and  see  the  beneficent  results  that  followed  that  election — when 
I  see  how  happiness  has  begun  to  prevail  in  most  of  the  homes 
and  when  the  cost  of  living  has  been  reduced  so  that  we  can  get 
a  square  meal  here  for  ten  dollars  a  plate,  I  feel  in  quite  a  satis- 
fied frame  of  mind  as  to  the  result  of  our  labors  in  the  recent 
campaign. 

In  fact  I  think  I  am  in  very  much  the  same  frame  of  mind  as 


AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

a  friend  of  mine  down  at  Kokomo,  in  Indiana,  in  the  campaign  of 
1876.  His  name  was  Jacob  Moss,  a  name  readily  recognized  by 
many  of  the  gentlemen  present.  His  politics  had  not  been  made 
known  up  to  the  time  of  that  campaign.  He  belonged  to  the 
great  army  of  unclassified.  Jacob  was  engaged  in  the  second- 
hand furniture  business  and  in  divers  other  businesses  not  neces- 
sary to  name  here.  [Laughter.]  Nobody,  as  I  say,  knew  his 
politics  until  1876,  when  he  finally  declared  himself  unqualifiedly 
in  favor  of  the  election  of  "Blue  Jeans"  Williams  for  Governor 
of  Indiana ;  and  with  the  zeal  of  a  new  convert  he  went  out  and 
bet  very  promiscuously  on  the  result  of  the  election.  When  the 
election  was  over,  after  collecting  his  bets,  which  consisted  of 
divers  articles  of  clothing  and  watches  and  hats  and  money,  he 
entered  a  place  of  rendezvous  in  Kokomo,  which  I  regret  to  say 
was  a  place  where  liquor  was  sold  in  less  quantities  than  a  quart 
at  a  time  [laughter],  and  he  found  there  a  large  number  of 
literary  and  scientific  gentlemen  who  assembled  there  night  after 
night  to  discuss  politics  and  literary  and  scientific  matters,  and 
such  matters  as  might  properly  be  brought  before  them.  [Re- 
newed laughter.]  This  evening  Mr.  Moss  came  on  arrayed  like 
a  lily  of  the  valley.  He  had  on  a  black  silk  hat, — ^he  never  had 
one  before  or  since,  but  he  won  it  on  the  election.  He  had  on  a 
pair  of  nice  glasses  which  he  never  had  worn  before,  but  which 
he  won  on  the  election.  He  had  on  a  new  suit  of  clothes  he  had 
won  on  the  election.  His  pockets  were  full  of  money  that  he  had 
won  on  the  election,  and  he  carried  a  new  gold-headed  cane.  He 
walked  up  to  the  end  of  the  bar  and  invited  those  present  to  join 
in  a  drink,  and  in  Kokomo  in  those  days  a  second  invitation  was 
not  necessary.  [Laughter.]  Those  literary  and  scientific  men 
arose  as  one  man  and  each  took  his  accustomed  place  at  the  bar 
and  after  the  glasses  were  filled  Mr.  Moss,  who  was  the  host  of 
the  occasion,  felt  called  upon  to  make  a  few  remarks,  and  this 
was  what  he  said :  "Gentlemen,  the  Democrats  told  us  if  we  elect 
Williams  we  have  better  times.  By  jiminy,  I  feel  a  difference 
myself  already."  [Laughter.]  After  the  eighth  of  November  I 
can  quite  sympathize  with  Mr.  Moss. 

As  I  look  out  over  this  audience,  a  splendid  audience  made  up 


CAMPAIGNING  IN  INDIANA  227 

of  distinguished  and  handsome  gentlemen,  I  am  reminded  of  an 
audience  that  I  addressed  in  Indiana  at  one  of  the  last  meetings 
in  the  late  campaign.  That  meeting  was  held  at  Abe  Martin's 
home  in  the  County  of  Brown.  I  was  thinking  of  the  similarity 
of  the  audiences.  [Laughter,]  Do  you  know  about  Brown 
County,  the  home  of  Abe  Martin?  Let  me  tell  you  something 
about  it, — let  me  digress  for  a  moment.  It  is  located  within  fifty 
miles  of  Indianapolis  and  within  twenty  miles  of  the  exact  centre 
of  population  of  the  United  States.  Up  to  four  years  ago  it  had 
no  railroad.  It  is  made  up  of  hills  and  rocks.  Its  people  are  a 
primitive  people,  very  similar  in  appearance  to  my  father  and 
your  father  and  our  grandfathers  in  the  years  gone  by.  Men  who 
looked  very  much  like  those  brave  sturdy  pioneers  who  settled  in 
Howard  and  Marshall  and  Clinton  and  Cass  Counties  seventy- 
five  years  ago,  and  who  with  their  strong  right  arms  conquered 
a  wilderness  and  made  it  blossom  as  a  rose.  [Applause.]  In 
Brown  County  there  is  not  a  rich  man  and  not  a  pauper.  There 
is  held  in  Brown  County  the  circuit  court,  which  occupies  about 
three  weeks  during  the  year.  The  jail  is  without  a  tenant  and  so 
is  the  poorhouse.  The  people  are  poor  and  honest  and  patriotic. 
There  never  was  a  licensed  saloon  in  Brown  County.  [Prolonged 
applause.]  A  larger  per  cent  of  its  people  belong  to  churches 
than  those  of  any  other  county  in  Indiana,  and  when  the  Union 
was  in  danger  Brown  County  sent  out  more  men  to  the  Union 
Army  than  there  were  voters  in  the  county.  [Applause.]  And 
after  thus  referring  to  the  religious  and  patriotic  tendencies  of 
the  people  of  Brown  County,  it  is  unnecessary  for  me  to  say  that 
Brown  County  gave  the  biggest  Democratic  majority,  propor- 
tionately.   [Laughter.] 

Indianians  always  look  alike  to  me.  You  thought  I  was  joking 
when,  I  made  the  comparison  of  chat  Brown  County  audience 
with  this  splendid  audience.  There  was  not  a  swallow-tail  coat 
in  that  audience;  there  isn't  one  in  the  county;  and  the  women 
who  would  be  found  there  dressed  in  a  decollete  gown  would  be 
arrested  promptly  for  indecent  behavior.  "What  is  the  point  of 
similarity?  Those  old  men  who  sat  before  me  on  that  occasion 
were  clad  in  their  home-spun  garments,  had  bright  eyes,  clear 


AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

heads  and  clean  hearts;  the  same  kind  of  bright  eyes  and  clean 
hearts  that  are  in  this  audience  here  to-night.  There  was  not  a 
man  in  that  audience  who  would  not  have  esteemed  it  a  distin- 
guished privilege  to  go  out  in  the  hour  of  the  country's  danger 
and  pour  out  his  blood  in  defense  of  the  honor  of  his  country. 

You  men  are  made  of  the  same  material.  So  no  matter  whether 
the  audience  of  Indiana  is  made  up  of  home-spun  people  of  Brown 
County,  or  not,  or  by  splendid  gentlemen  like  yourselves,  there  is 
the  same  spirit  of  patriotism  and  the  same  devotion  to  the  dear  old 
commonwealth  amongst  them  all.    [Applause.] 

When  I  was  in  Brown  County,  I  heard  this  story:  A  man 
from  Indianapolis  was  down  there  and  ran  across  a  native  who 
was  a  little  more  thrifty  than  his  neighbors.  He  was  driving  a 
team  of  mules,  and  desiring  to  strike  up  a  conversation,  the 
Indianapolis  man  said  to  the  Brown  County  citizen :  *  *  That  is  a 
likely  team  of  mules  you  have.  What  does  a  team  of  mules  like 
that  cost  down  here?"  The  other  said:  "I  gave  one  hundred 
and  sixty  acres  of  land  for  this  team  of  mules. "  *  *  Is  it  possible, 
one  hundred  and  sixty  acres  of  land  ? "  "  Well, ' '  said  the  Brown 
County  man,  * '  it  was  this  way ;  the  original  trade  I  had  with  the 
man  was  that  I  was  to  give  him  eighty  acres  for  the  mules,  but 
when  we  came  to  the  lawyer's  office  I  found  out  the  darn  cuss 
couldn't  read,  so  I  slipped  another  eighty  acres  in  on  him." 
[Laughter.] 

Now  to  return  to  the  subject  of  the  late  campaign — and  I 
return  to  it  with  some  degree  of  hesitancy  [laughter] — ^in  some 
respects  it  was  the  most  remarkable  campaign  ever  waged  in 
Indiana,  and  we  have  had  some  great  campaigns  in  Indiana.  I 
have  been  engaged  in  several  of  them  myself.  My  opponent 
[Senator  Beveridge]  declared  at  the  commencement  of  the  cam- 
paign that  the  old  order  had  changed,  and  all  things  had  become 
new,  and  I  had  not  been  in  the  campaign  three  weeks  until  I 
agreed  with  him  in  every  particular  as  far  as  that  was  concerned. 
In  previous  campaigns  the  leaders  of  the  two  great  political  par- 
ties have  gone  out  and  defended  their  respective  parties  and  plat- 
forms. In  previous  campaigns  there  has  been  a  battle  royal 
between  the  leaders  of  the  two  parties  and  between  the  two  par- 


CAMPAIGNING  IN  INDIANA  229 

ties  themselves ;  but  in  this  campaign  it  was  all  changed.  If  you 
will  bear  with  me,  you  Hoosiers,  I  will  give  you  a  bird  's-eye  view 
of  the  late  campaign  as  I  now  remember  it. 

In  the  first  place,  I  started  out  with  a  talk  in  favor  of  tariff 
reform,  using  all  the  stock  arguments  that  have  been  used  for 
one  hundred  years  in  favor  of  tariff  reform.  [Laughter.]  My 
distinguished  Republican  opponent  came  back  at  me  with  a 
proposition  that  he  was  one  of  the  true  tariff  reformers  of  the 
country  himself  and  one  of  the  principal  ones.  So  that  took  in  a 
very  large  degree  the  tariff  question  out  of  the  campaign. 
[Renewed  laughter.] 

I  then  started  out  with  a  very  fierce  denunciation  of  monopolies 
and  the  criminal  trust,  which  I  claimed  were  playing  havoc  with 
the  interests  of  the  plain  people  of  the  country;  but  my  words 
had  scarcely  fallen  from  my  lips  until  he  made  a  more  vicious 
assault  upon  the  criminal  trusts  than  I  could  possibly  make,  and 
not  only  that  but  he  declared  that  all  the  trusts  in  the  country 
were  in  Indiana  at  that  minute  doing  all  they  could  to  defeat  him. 
So  the  trust  question  was  largely  out  of  the  campaign.  [Renewed 
laughter.] 

In  speaking  of  certain  financial  problems  I  took  occasion  to 
pay  my  respects  to  Wall  street,  whereupon  he  declared  that  Wall 
street  was  fighting  him  in  the  campaign  and  that  he  was  perhaps 
the  most  dangerous  foe  that  Wall  street  or  the  Wall  street  inter- 
ests had;  so  we  said  good-bye  to  Wall  street.  [Laughter.]  In 
order  to  make  some  kind  of  an  affirmative  fight  on  me  he  declared 
in  favor  of  the  conservation  of  the  natural  resources  of  the  coun- 
try. Of  course  I  came  back  at  him,  reminding  him  that  in 
speeches  made  before  the  war — ^that  is,  the  Spanish- American  war 
[laughter] — in  speeches  I  made  before  the  Spanish- American  war 
I  had  taken  advanced  ground  on  the  subject  of  the  conservation  of 
the  natural  resources  of  the  nation  and  I  had  kept  up  that  battle 
to  this  hour.  He  then  came  back  at  me  with  a  plea  for  civic 
righteousness,  whereupon  I  assured  him  and  the  people  that  I 
was  the  original  Jacob  Townsend  and  the  apostle  of  the  plain 
people. 

It  was  my  turn  to  say  something  on  him  then,  and  I  began 


230  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

with  an  account  of  a  vote  he  had  cast  on  the  ship  subsidy  scheme ; 
and  he  in  due  time  retorted  that  while  he  had  in  an  evil  moment 
voted  for  the  ship  subsidy  scheme,  he  had  seen  the  error  of  his 
ways,  never  would  do  so  any  more,  and  now  he  was  a  more  bitter 
opponent  of  the  ship  subsidy  scheme  than  I  ever  dared  to  be, 
and  so  that  took  that  question  out  of  the  campaign.    [Laughter.] 

I  declared  in  favor  of  the  income  tax  and  so  did  he.  He 
declared  in  favor  of  laws  punishing  the  employer  of  child  labor, 
and  so  did  I.  And  so  we  had  it.  Finally  he  settled  down  on  a  line, 
and  I  settled  down  on  a  line.  He  introduced  into  the  campaign 
this  kind  of  a  subject:  he  came  to  the  defense  of  Mary  of  the 
Vine-Clad  Cottage.  We  had  a  Mary  of  the  Vine-Clad  Cottage 
on  every  hill  and  valley  in  Indiana,  so  that  there  was  only  one 
thing  left  for  me  to  do.  I  seized  upon  forty-cent  bacon,  and  so  we 
came  down  the  stretch  for  a  good  while  neck  and  neck,  he  at  every 
jump  giving  forth  the  most  eloquent  defense  of  Mary  of  the 
Vine-Clad  Cottage,  and  I  calling  on  the  people  of  Indiana  to  rise 
in  their  might  and  bring  back  the  Democratic  days  of  the  good 
old  hog  and  hominy  of  the  Jackson  administration.  [Laughter.] 
So  it  was  that  forty-cent  bacon  triumphed  over  Mary  of  the  Vine- 
Clad  Cottage,  and  Mary  is  now  mourning  in  her  cottage,  refusing 
to  be  consoled. 

Oh,  it  was  an  inspiring  campaign,  a  campaign  that  called  for 
great  leadership,  called  for  great  mental  effort,  and  both  of  us,  I 
think,  are  to  be  congratulated  that  we  escaped  dire  brain  attacks 
after  the  tremendous  mental  efforts  we  were  compelled  to  exert 
during  that  campaign.  It  shows  you  business  men  how  few  are 
the  real  differences  between  us  after  all.  It  is  so  different  from 
the  old  time  campaigns — the  old  campaigns  where  Indiana  neigh- 
bors refused  to  speak  to  each  other ;  the  old  time  campaign  where 
there  was  an  entire  lack  of  political  toleration.  As  suggested 
by  my  friend  here,  each  man  regarded  his  political  opponent  as 
an  enemy  of  the  country,  a  man  who  had  not  sense  enough  to  come 
in  out  of  the  rain.  Those  days  are  already  passing,  and  I  hope 
they  are  passing  forever,  and  if  I  should  be  elected  to  the  Senate 
of  the  United  States,  as  I  hope  to  be  in  accordance  with  the 
expressed  will  of  the  people,  I  shall  go  to  Washington  recognizing 


CAMPAIGNING  IN  INDIANA  231 

the  idea  and  having  the  notion  that  the  differences  between  the 
two  political  parties  of  this  country  are  becoming  more  imaginary 
than  real ;  I  shall  go  there  to  represent  not  a  party  but  to  repre- 
sent the  whole  people  of  my  native  commonwealth  [applause], 
thoroughly  imbued  with  the  idea  that  I  shall  serve  my  party  best 
by  serving  my  country  in  a  patriotic  and  conscientious  manner. 

The  old  days  of  campaigning,  as  I  have  suggested,  are  pretty 
nearly  past.  We  have  no  more  of  the  glee  clubs,  we  have  no  more 
of  the  goddesses  of  liberty,  no  more  of  the  great  political  proces- 
sions, but  political  questions  are  now  settled  by  the  people  in  their 
own  homes.  People  have  the  advantage  of  daily  newspapers  and 
telephones,  and  they  form  the  habit  of  thinking  for  themselves, 
and  the  habit  of  voting  for  themselves ;  and  no  party  in  my  judg- 
ment will  continue  long  in  power  in  this  land  unless  that  party 
remains  true  to  its  pledges  and  keeps  faith  with  the  people  three 
hundred  and  sixty-five  days  in  the  year,     [Prolonged  applause.] 

I  will  not  undertake  to  detain  you  with  the  many  reminiscences 
of  Indiana  campaigns.  There  used  to  be  a  time  when  campaign 
speakers  were  interrupted  now  and  then,  and  the  interruptions 
were  frequently  of  the  character  which  greatly  confused  the 
orator.  I  remember  Senator  Voorhees  telling  me  a  story  one  time 
as  to  an  interruption  that  came  to  him  during  the  delivery  of  a 
speech  in  Sullivan  County,  Indiana.  Senator  Voorhees  conceived 
the  idea  that  the  Democrats  had  put  down  the  rebellion  [laughter], 
and  he  was  in  the  habit  of  going  about  with  a  string  of  Union 
generals,  commencing  with  Hancock  and  running  down  through 
to  Rosecrans — I  used  to  have  the  list  myself — and  after  convinc- 
ing, as  he  thought,  the  people  that  a  very  large  majority  of  them 
were  Democrats,  on  that  occasion  he  said,  * '  Of  course,  everybody 
knows  that  a  large  majority  of  the  rank  and  file  of  the  Union 
Army  came  out  of  the  Democratic  party.  How  is  it,"  he  said, 
"in  this  old  Democratic  Gibraltar  of  Sullivan  County?  What  do 
you  say  here  ?  Were  not  a  very  large  majority  of  the  Union  sol- 
diers who  went  out  in  time  of  war  Democrats?"  An  old,  long- 
haired fellow  sitting  down  in  front  rose  up  and  replied,  "Yes, 
and  gol  dern  them,  they  drafted  us."  [Prolonged  laughter  and 
applause.] 


232  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

I  have  Had  a  few  interniptions  myself  which  confused  me 
greatly.  I  remember  one  by  a  man  at  Auburn,  Indiana,  in  the 
campaign  of  1884,  at  a  time  when  political  excitement  was  very 
high.  I  was  invited  to  speak  there,  and  they  had  a  torchlight 
procession  of  two  hundred  women  belonging  to  the  best  families 
of  DeKalb  County.  On  that  occasion  I  was  speaking  away  the 
best  I  could,  and  a  man  directly  in  front  of  me  said  that  I  was  a 
liar.  He  had  a  very  loud  voice.  [Laughter.]  That  was  not  all 
he  said.  [Renewed  laughter,]  There  was  a  sulphurous  adjective 
prefixed  to  the  word  *'liar."  [Laughter.]  I  had  not  said  any- 
thing of  any  consequence  to  call  out  anything  of  that  kind,  as  I 
supposed.  [Renewed  laughter.]  I  hardly  knew  what  kind  of  a 
retort  to  make.  There  wasn  't  much  room  for  argument  about  it, 
he  seemed  so  positive.  [Prolonged  laughter  and  applause.]  I 
could  not  say  that  I  would  see  him  after  the  meeting  was  over, 
because  he  was  a  very  large  man.  But  I  was  extricated  from  the 
dilemma  by  five  or  six  of  the  stalwart  sons  of  DeKalb  County  seiz- 
ing that  man  and  throwing  him  bodily  over  the  fence  surrounding 
the  place  where  the  meeting  was  held.  The  meeting  then  pro- 
ceeded. I  understood  afterwards  he  was  going  to  sue  the  Demo- 
cratic party  on  account  of  the  assault  perpetrated  on  him  on  that 
occasion.  Of  course  he  thought  he  was  provoked,  I  assume,  in 
making  the  charge  he  made  against  me,  but  the  suit  was  never 
brought  for  the  reason  that  after  the  election  was  over  there  were 
no  assets  of  the  Democratic  party  anywhere  to  be  found.  [Laugh- 
ter and  cheering.] 

These  are  some  of  the  tribulations  that  come  to  one  in  a 
political  campaign  in  Indiana.  But  it  is  a  great  old  state.  "We 
are  proud  of  Indiana,  all  of  us.  We  are  proud  of  George  Rogers 
Clark  and  his  courageous  men  who  first  ran  up  the  American  flag 
on  Indiana  soil  in  1779,  and  who  defended  that  flag  with  their 
blood  and  with  their  lives.  We  are  proud  of  the  men  who  fought 
in  1812  under  General  William  Henry  Harrison  at  the  battle  of 
Tippecanoe.  We  are  proud  of  the  six  hundred  men  who  marched 
across  the  Rio  Grande  and  marched  on  and  on  in  a  foreign  country 
until  they  saw  the  flag  of  their  nation  waving  in  everlasting  glory 
over  the  halls  of  the  Montezumas.    Proudest  of  all  are  we  of  the 


CAMPAIGNING  IN  INDIANA  233 

two  hundred  and  fifty  thousand  brave  men  of  Indiana  who 
marched  forth  at  their  country's  call  in  1861  and  1865;  of  the 
men  who  charged  with  Hooker  through  the  clouds  at  Lookout 
Mountain;  of  the  Indianans  who  helped  to  resist  Pickett's  mad 
charge  at  Gettysburg ;  or  fought  under  McClellan  at  Antietam ;  or 
marched  with  Sherman  to  the  sea.  We  are  proud  of  those  Indiana 
men  of  the  later  generations,  those  sons  of  Indiana  who,  side  by 
side  with  the  sons  of  Alabama,  charged  up  El  Caney's  heights 
under  the  leadership  of  Roosevelt.  We  are  proud  of  them  all; 
proud  of  our  men  of  literature ;  proud  of  our  statesmen ;  proud 
of  our  sons  and  daughters ;  and  with  this  pride  in  our  hearts  may 
we  not  to-night,  and  should  we  not  to-night,  take  on  a  new  vow  of 
fealty  and  go  hence  each  resolved  that  in  the  years  to  come  he  will 
do  his  full  share  in  maintaining  the  honor  and  glory  of  the  com- 
monwealth we  all  love.  I  thank  you.  [Prolonged  cheering  and 
applause.] 


THE  JOY  OF  LIFE. 

Oliver  Wendell  Holmes,  Jr. 

Mr.  Oliver  Wendell  Holmes,  now  of  the  United  States  Supreme 
Bench,  responded  to  the  following  toast  at  a  banquet  given  in  his 
honor  by  the  Suffolk  Bar  Association,  Boston,  March  seventh,  1900, 
upon  his  elevation  to  the  Chief  Justiceship  of  the  Supreme  Judicial 
Court  of  Massachusetts.  When  he  stood  up  to  respond  the  entire 
company  arose  and  cheered  him. 

Gentlemen  of  the  Suffolk  Bar:  The  kindness  of  this  recep- 
tion almost  unmans  me,  and  it  shakes  me  the  more  when  taken 
with  a  kind  of  seriousness  which  the  moment  has  for  me.  As  with 
a  drowning  man,  the  past  is  telescoped  into  a  minute,  and  the 
stages  are  all  here  at  once  in  my  mind.  The  day  before  yesterday 
I  was  at  the  law  school,  fresh  from  the  army,  arguing  cases  in  a 
little  club  with  Goulding  and  Beaman  and  Peter  Olney,  and  lay- 
ing the  dust  of  pleading  by  certain  sprinklings  which  Huntington 
Jackson,  another  ex-soldier,  and  I  managed  to  contrive  together. 
A  little  later  in  the  day,  in  Bob  Morse 's,  I  saw  a  real  writ,  acquired 
a  practical  conviction  of  the  difference  between  assumpsit  and 
trover,  and  marvelled  open-mouthed  at  the  swift  certainty  with 
which  a  master  of  his  business  turned  it  off. 

Yesterday  I  was  at  the  law  school  again,  in  the  chair  instead 
of  on  the  benches,  when  my  dear  partner,  Shattuck,  came  out 
and  told  me  that  in  one  hour  the  Governor  would  submit  my  name 
to  the  council  for  a  judgeship,  if  notified  of  my  assent.  It  was  a 
stroke  of  lightning  which  changed  the  whole  course  of  my  life. 

And  the  day  before  yesterday,  gentlemen,  was  thirty-five 
years,  and  yesterday  was  more  than  eighteen  years  ago.  I  have 
gone  on  feeling  young,  but  I  have  noticed  that  I  have  met  fewer 
of  the  old  to  whom  to  show  my  deference,  and  recently  I  was 
startled  by  being  told  that  ours  is  an  old  bench.  Well,  I  accept 
the  fact,  although  I  find  it  hard  to  realize,  and  I  ask  myself,  what 
is  there  to  show  for  this  half  lifetime  that  has  passed?    I  look 

234 


THE  JOY  OF  LIFE  235 

into  my  book  in  which  I  keep  a  docket  of  the  decisions  of  the  full 
court  which  fall  to  me  to  write,  and  find  about  a  thousand  cases. 
A  thousand  cases,  many  of  them  upon  trifling  or  transitory  mat- 
ters, to  represent  nearly  half  a  lifetime !  A  thousand  cases,  when 
one  would  have  liked  to  study  to  the  bottom  and  to  say  his  say  on 
every  question  which  the  law  ever  has  presented,  and  then  to  go 
on  and  invent  new  problems  which  should  be  the  test  of  doctrine, 
and  then  to  generalize  it  all  and  write  it  in  continuous,  logical, 
philosophic  exposition,  setting  forth  the  whole  corpus  with  its 
roots  in  history  and  its  justifications  of  expedience,  real  or  sup- 
posed. 

Alas,  gentlemen,  that  is  life.  I  often  imagine  Shakespeare  or 
Napoleon  summing  himself  up  and  thinking :  "Yes,  I  have  writ- 
ten five  thousand  lines  of  solid  gold,  and  a  good  deal  of  padding — 
I,  who  have  covered  the  milky  way  with  words  which  outshine 
the  stars!"  "Yes,  I  beat  the  Austrians  in  Italy  and  elsewhere; 
I  made  a  few  brilliant  campaigns,  and  I  ended  in  middle  life  in 
a  cul-de-sac — I  who  had  dreamed  of  a  world  monarchy  and  of 
Asiatic  power ! ' '  We  cannot  live  in  our  dreams.  "We  are  lucky 
enough  if  we  can  give  a  sample  of  our  best,  and  if  in  our  hearts 
we  can  feel  that  it  has  been  nobly  done. 

Some  changes  come  about  in  the  process:  changes  not  neces- 
sarily so  much  in  the  nature  as  in  the  emphasis  of  our  interest.  I 
do  not  mean  in  our  wish  to  make  a  living  and  to  succeed — of 
course,  we  all  want  those  things — but  I  mean  in  our  ulterior  intel- 
lectual or  spiritual  interests,  in  the  ideal  part,  without  which  we 
are  but  snails  or  tigers. 

One  begins  with  a  search  for  a  general  point  of  view.  After  a 
time  he  finds  one,  and  then  for  a  time  he  is  absorbed  in  testing  it, 
in  trying  to  satisfy  himself  whether  it  is  true.  But  after  many 
experiments  or  investigations,  all  have  come  out  one  way,  and  his 
theory  is  confirmed  and  settled  in  his  mind ;  he  knows  in  advance 
that  the  next  case  will  be  but  another  verification,  and  the  stimulus 
of  anxious  curiosity  is  gone.  He  realizes  that  his  branch  of 
knowledge  only  presents  more  illustrations  of  the  universal  prin- 
ciple ;  he  sees  it  all  as  another  case  of  the  same  old  ennui,  or  the 
same  sublime  mystery — for  it  does  not  matter  what  epithets 


236  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

you  apply  to  the  whole  of  things,  they  are  merely  judgments  of 
yourself.  At  this  stage  the  pleasure  is  no  less,  perhaps,  but  it 
is  the  pure  pleasure  of  doing  the  work,  irrespective  of  further 
aims,  and  when  you  reach  that  stage,  you  reach,  as  it  seems  to 
me,  the  triune  formula  of  the  joy,  the  duty  and  the  end  of  life. 

It  was  of  this  that  Malebranche  was  thinking  when  he  said 
that,  if  God  held  in  one  hand  truth  and  in  the  other  the  pursuit 
of  truth,  he  would  say :  *  *  Lord,  the  truth  is  for  thee  alone ;  give 
me  the  pursuit."  The  joy  of  life  is  to  put  out  one's  power  in 
some  natural  and  useful  or  harmless  way.  There  is  no  other. 
And  the  real  misery  is  not  to  do  this.  The  hell  of  the  old  world's 
literature  is  to  be  taxed  beyond  one's  powers.  This  country  has 
expressed  in  story — I  suppose  because  it  has  experienced  it  in  life 
— a  deeper  abyss  of  intellectual  asphyxia  or  vital  ennui,  when 
powers  conscious  of  themselves  are  denied  their  chance. 

The  rule  of  joy  and  the  law  of  duty  seem  to  me  aU  one.  I 
confess  that  altruistic  and  synically  selfish  talk  seem  to  me  about 
equally  unreal.  With  all  humility,  I  think  **  Whatever  thy  hand 
findeth  to  do,  do  it  with  thy  might,"  infinitely  more  important 
than  the  vain  attempt  to  love  one's  neighbor  as  one's  self.  If  you 
want  to  hit  a  bird  on  the  wing,  you  must  have  all  your  will  in  a 
focus,  you  must  not  be  thinking  about  yourself,  and,  equally,  you 
must  not  be  thinking  about  your  neighbor;  you  must  be  living 
in  your  eye  on  that  bird.    Every  achievement  is  a  bird  on  the  wing. 

The  joy,  the  duty,  and,  I  venture  to  add,  the  end  of  life.  I 
speak  only  of  this  world,  of  course,  and  of  the  teachings  of  this 
world.  I  do  not  seek  to  trench  upon  the  province  of  spiritual 
guides.  But  from  the  point  of  view  of  the  world  the  end  of  life 
is  life.  Life  is  action,  the  use  of  one's  powers.  As  to  use  them 
to  their  height  is  our  joy  and  duty,  so  it  is  the  one  end  that 
justifies  itself.  Until  lately  the  best  thing  that  I  was  able  to 
think  of  in  favor  of  civilization,  apart  from  blind  acceptance  of 
the  order  of  the  universe,  was  that  it  made  possible  the  artist, 
the  poet,  the  philosopher,  and  the  man  of  science.  But  I  think 
that  is  not  the  greatest  thing.  Now  I  believe  that  the  greatest 
thing  is  a  matter  that  comes  directly  home  to  us  all.  When  it  is 
said  that  we  are  too  much  occupied  with  the  means  of  living  to 


THE  JOY  OF  LIFE  237 

live,  I  answer  that  the  chief  work  of  civilization  is  just  that  it 
makes  the  means  of  living  more  complex ;  that  it  calls  for  great 
and  combined  intellectual  efforts,  instead  of  simple,  uncoordinated 
ones,  in  order  that  the  crowd  may  be  fed  and  clothed  and  housed 
and  moved  from  place  to  place.  Because  more  complex  and 
intense  intellectual  efforts  mean  a  fuller  and  richer  life.  They 
mean  more  life.  Life  is  an  end  in  itself,  and  the  only  question 
as  to  whether  it  is  worth  living  is  whether  you  have  enough  of  it. 
I  will  add  but  a  word.  We  are  all  very  near  despair.  The 
sheathing  that  floats  us  over  its  waves  is  compounded  of  hope, 
faith  in  the  unexplainable  worth  and  sure  issue  of  effort,  and  the 
deep,  subconscious  content  which  comes  from  the  exercise  of  our 
powers.  In  the  words  of  a  touching  negro  song :  *  *  Sometimes  I 's 
up,  sometimes  I's  down,  sometimes  I's  almost  to  the  groun','' 
but  these  thoughts  have  carried  me,  as  I  hope  they  will  carry  the 
young  men  who  hear  me,  through  long  years  of  doubt,  self -distrust 
and  solitude.  They  do  now,  for,  although  it  might  seem  that  the 
day  of  trial  was  over,  in  fact  it  is  renewed  each  day.  The  kindness 
which  you  have  shown  me  makes  me  bold  in  happy  moments  to 
believe  that  the  long  and  passionate  struggle  has  not  been  quite 
in  vain.    [Applause.] 


THE  PRESS— RIGHT  OR  WRONG. 

Whitelaw  Reid. 

At  the  one  hundred  and  eighth  annual  banquet  of  the  Chamber 
of  Commerce  of  the  State  of  New  York,  held  May  fourth,  1876,  the 
late  Whitelaw  Reid,  the  then  distinguished  journalist,  and  recently 
Ambassador  to  England,  responded  for  the  press.  The  toast  as  an- 
nounced was  "The  Press — right  or  wrong:  when  right,  to  be  kept 
right;  when  wrong,  to  be  set  right." 

Mr.  President:  Lastly,  Satan  came  also,  the  printer's,  if  not 
the  public's  devil,  in  propria  persona!  [Laughter.]  The  rest  of 
you  gentlemen  have  better  provided  for  yourselves.  Even  the 
Chamber  of  Commerce  took  the  benefit  of  clergy.  The  Presi- 
dential candidates  and  the  representatives  of  the  Administration 
and  the  leading  statesmen  who  throng  your  hospitable  board,  all 
put  forward  as  their  counsel  the  Attorney-General  [Alphonso 
Taft]  of  the  United  States.  And,  as  one  of  his  old  clients  at  my 
left  said  a  moment  ago,  "a,  precious  dear  old  counsel  he  was." 
[Laughter.] 

The  Press  is  without  clergymen  or  counsel ;  and  you  doubtless 
wish  it  were  also  without  voice.  At  this  hour  none  of  you  has 
the  least  desire  to  hear  anything  or  to  say  anything  about  the 
press.  There  are  a  number  of  very  able  gentlemen  who  were 
ranged  along  the  platform — I  utterly  refuse  to  say  whether  I 
refer  to  Presidential  candidates  or  not — but  there  were  a  number 
of  very  able  gentlemen  who  were  ranged  along  that  table,  who  are 
very  much  more  anxious  to  know  what  the  press  to-morrow  morn- 
ing will  have  to  say  about  them  [laughter],  and  I  know  it  because 
I  saw  the  care  with  which  they  handed  up  to  the  reporters  the 
manuscript  copies  of  their  entirely  unprepared  and  extempore 
remarks.    [Laughter.] 

Gentlemen,  the  press  is  a  mild-spoken  and  truly  modest  insti- 
tution which  never  chants  its  own  praise.    Unlike  Walt  Whitman, 

238 


THE  PRESS  — RIGHT  OR  WRONG  239 

it  never  celebrates  itself.  Even  if  it  did  become  me — one  of  the 
youngest  of  its  conductors  in  New  York — ^to  undertake  at  this  late 
hour  to  inflict  upon  you  its  eulogy,  there  are  two  circumstances 
which  might  well  make  me  pause.  It  is  an  absurdity  for  me — 
an  absurdity,  indeed,  for  any  of  us — ^to  assume  to  speak  for  the 
press  of  New  York  at  a  table  where  William  Cullen  Bryant  sits 
silent.  Besides,  I  have  been  reminded  since  I  came  here,  by  Dr. 
Chapin,  that  the  pithiest  eulogy  ever  pronounced  upon  the  first 
editor  of  America,  was  pronounced  in  this  very  room  and  from 
that  very  platform  by  the  man  who  at  that  time  was  the  first  of 
living  editors  in  this  country,  when  he  said  that  he  honored  the 
memory  of  Benjamin  Franklin  because  he  was  a  journeyman 
printer  who  did  not  drink,  a  philosopher  who  wrote  common  sense, 
and  an  officeholder  who  did  not  steal.    [Applause.] 

One  word  only  of  any  seriousness  about  your  toast ;  it  says : 
* '  The  Press — right  or  wrong ;  when  right,  to  be  kept  right ;  when 
wrong,  to  be  set  right!"  Gentlemen,  this  is  your  affair.  A 
stream  will  not  rise  higher  than  its  fountain.  The  Hudson  River 
will  not  flow  backward  over  the  Adirondacks.  The  press  of  New 
York  is  fed  and  sustained  by  the  commerce  of  New  York,  and  the 
press  of  New  York  to-day,  bad  as  it  is  in  many  respects — and  I 
take  my  full  share  of  the  blame  it  fairly  deserves — is  just  what 
the  merchants  of  New  York  choose  to  have  it.  If  you  want  it 
better,  you  can  make  it  better.  So  long  as  you  are  satisfied  with 
it  as  it  is,  sustain  it  as  it  is,  take  it  into  your  families  and  into  your 
counting-rooms  as  it  is,  and  encourage  it  as  it  is,  it  will  remain 
what  it  is. 

If,  for  instance,  the  venerable  leader  of  your  bar,  conspicuous 
through  a  long  life  for  the  practice  of  every  virtue  that  adorns 
his  profession  and  his  race,  is  met  on  his  return  from  the  very 
jaws  of  the  grave,  as  he  reenters  the  court-room  to  undertake 
again  the  gratuitous  championship  of  your  cause  against  thieves 
who  robbed  you,  with  the  slander  that  he  is  himself  a  thief  of 
the  meanest  kind,  a  robber  of  defenseless  women — I  say  if  such 
a  man  is  subject  to  persistent  repetition  of  such  a  calumny  in  the 
very  city  he  has  honored  and  served,  and  at  the  very  end  and 
crown  of  his  life,  it  is  because  you  do  not  choose  to  object  to  it 


240  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

and  make  your  objection  felt.  A  score  of  similar  instances  will 
readily  occur  to  anyone  who  runs  over  in  his  memory  the  course 
of  our  municipal  history  for  the  last  dozen  years,  but  there  is 
no  time  to  repeat  or  even  to  refer  to  them  here. 

And  so,  Mr.  President,  because  this  throng  of  gentlemen,  gath- 
ered about  the  doors,  pay  me  the  too  great  compliment  by  remain- 
ing standing  to  listen  when  they  have  started  to  go  home — let  me 
come  back  to  the  text  you  gave  me,  and  the  sentiment  with  which 
we  began :  * '  The  Press — right  or  wrong ;  when  right,  to  be  kept 
right;  when  wrong,  to  be  set  right."  [Applause.]  The  task  in 
either  case  is  to  be  performed  by  the  merchants  of  New  York,  who 
have  the  power  to  do  it  and  only  need  resolve  that  they  will. 

I  congratulate  you,  gentlemen,  on  the  continued  attractions 
of  the  annual  entertainment  you  offer  us ;  above  all,  I  congratulate 
you  on  having  given  us  the  great  pleasure  of  meeting  once  more 
and  seeing  seated  together  at  your  table  the  first  four  citizens  of 
the  metropolis  of  the  Empire  State:  Charles  O'Connor,  Peter 
Cooper,  William  CuUen  Bryant,  and  Charles  A.  Dix.  I  thank 
you  for  the  courtesy  of  your  remembrance  of  the  Press  j  and  so 
to  one  and  all,  good-night.    [Applause.] 


"OUR  GUESTS.'' 

Edmondo  Mayor  Des  Planches. 

At  the  banquet  at  the  centennial  celebration  of  the  founding  of 
West  Point,  held  at  West  Point,  June  eleventh,  1902,  Signor  Edmondo 
Mayor  Des  Planches,  then  Ambassador  of  Italy  to  the  United  States, 
responded  for  the  guests  of  the  occasion. 

Mr.  President,  Gentlemen  of  the  Cabinet,  Colonel  Superin- 
tendent of  the  Military  Academy,  Gentlemen :  I  have  the  honor, 
speaking  in  the  name  of  your  foreign  guests,  to  thank  you  heartily 
for  the  kind  invitation  extended  to  us,  in  order  that  we  might 
participate  in  this  gathering,  which  can  rightfully  be  considered 
a  family  festival,  and  to  thank  you  also  for  the  generous  hospital- 
ity you  offer  to  us. 

"We  accepted  your  invitation  with  the  warm  interest  we  take 
in  every  American  event.  Upon  our  arrival  here,  our  natural 
feeling  of  curiosity  was  immediately  changed  to  one  of  admira- 
tion, because  everything  calls  it  forth  irresistibly,  from  the  beauty 
of  the  remarkable  location  to  the  minutest  details,  as  far  as 
revealed  to  us,  of  this  institution,  one  of  the  finest  of  its  kind  in 
the  world. 

Within  these  walls  many  remembrances  of  your  history  recup 
to  our  minds.  We  recall  that  Sherman,  the  audacious  leader  of 
the  ** march  to  the  sea;"  that  McClellan,  whose  genius  checked 
the  invading  armies  of  Antietam;  that  Sheridan,  who  snatched 
victory  from  defeat  in  the  valley  of  the  Shenandoah,  and  his 
adversary.  Early ;  that  Thomas,  the  hero  of  Chickamauga,  and  his 
opponent.  Hood ;  that  Grant,  the  glorious  victor ;  Lee,  the  glorious 
vanquished,  of  the  last  battles  of  the  Civil  War,  and  many  others 
whose  deeds  of  valor  have  filled  all  lands  with  wonder,  have 
graduated  here.  When  an  institution  has  such  a  glorious  past, 
it  will  have  a  similar  glorious  future. 

To  my  admiration,  I  confess,  was  joined  at  first  a  certain,  yes, 

241 


242  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

and  even  a  double  surprise — ^the  surprise  of  finding  an  already 
old  institution  in  your  young  country  and  that  of  finding  myself, 
a  man  of  peace,  among  warriors.  But  into  this  centennarian 
Academy  passes  a  spirit  of  perpetual  youth  as  these  brave  and 
bold  generations  succeed  one  another;  and  even  non-military 
men,  like  myself,  can  appreciate  the  immense  benefits  of  such  a 
school,  in  which  you  not  only  prepare  young  men  for  possible 
wars,  but  also  give  them  the  most  desirable  education  that  youth 
can  receive  in  our  times,  exercising  them  in  such  qualities  as  are 
considered  the  best  in  human  nature,  the  most  necessary  in  social 
life,  the  most  successful  in  the  citizen  of  modern  States,  for  the 
battles  of  life  and  the  pursuit  of  liberty. 

I  am,  for  my  part,  an  advocate  of  military  education.  I  would 
wish  that  every  citizen  might  be  trained  in  a  military  school ;  not 
so  much,  of  course,  for  the  technical  knowledge  he  acquires,  but 
for  the  establishment  of  his  moral  character  upon  a  firm  basis. 

In  a  military  school  youth  learns  the  great  virtue  of  discipline, 
and  discipline  is  a  condition  of  order ;  youth  develops  its  innate 
feelings  of  honor,  and  honor  is  a  guarantee  of  integrity  in  private 
and  public  life,  of  the  fulfillment  of  duty  in  peace  as  in  war ;  in 
a  military  school  youth  grows  in  an  atmosphere  where  no  material 
interests  are  concerned,  where  self-abnegation,  sacrifice,  devotion 
to  the  country,  are  the  ideals  constantly  before  the  mind. 

I  profess  that  a  perfectly  good  soldier  is  almost  necessarily  a 
good  citizen ;  that  a  perfectly  great  soldier  is  almost  necessarily 
a  great  citizen.  The  history  of  your  country  could  supply  many 
examples  of  this  truth.  But  what  example  could  I  evoke  more 
opportunely,  in  this  place,  in  this  moment,  than  the  example  of 
your  great  Washington,  the  world  does  not  know  whether  greater 
as  a  soldier  or  as  a  citizen,  of  Washington  with  whom  originated 
the  idea  of  a  military  academy  for  his  country  ? 

With  these  sentiments,  with  this  example  before  us,  I  beg,  Mr. 
President  and  gentlemen,  to  drink,  in  the  name  of  your  foreign 
guests,  to  the  prosperity  and  greatness  of  the  United  States  Mili- 
tary Academy  of  West  Point. 


SPORT. 

Lord  Rosebeby. 

In  1897  Lord  Rosebery's  bay  filly,  Mauchline,  won  the  Gimcrack 
Stakes  at  York  August  Meeting.  One  consequence  of  this  was  that 
later  in  the  year  (on  December  seventh)  Lord  Rosebery,  as  the  owner 
of  the  winning  horse,  had  to  reply  (as  he  did  in  the  following  ad- 
dress) to  the  toast  of  his  health  at  the  annual  dinner  of  the  York 
Race  Committee  and  the  Brethren  of  the  Ancient  Fraternity  of  York 
Gimcracks.  The  actual  form  of  the  toast  proposed  by  Lord  Wenlock 
was:  "Success  and  perpetuity  to  the  Gimcrack  Club,  coupled  with  the 
name  of  the  Earl  of  Rosebery,  the  owner  of  Mauchline."  It  is 
notorious  that  Lord  Rosebery's  success  in  "classic"  races  has  been  the 
occasion  of  some  controversy.  His  own  observations  on  the  point, 
written  when  he  was  Prime  Minister  in  June,  1894,  should  not  be 
forgotten.  "Like  Oliver  Cromwell,"  he  said,  "whose  official  position 
was  far  higher  than  mine,  and  the  strictness  of  whose  principles  can 
scarcely  be  questioned,  I  possess  a  few  race  horses,  and  am  glad  when 
one  of  them  happens  to  be  a  good  one." — Appreciations  and  Addresses, 
delivered  by  Lord  Rosebery,  edited  by  Charles  Geake,  and  published 
by  John  Lane. 

I  find  myself  compelled  to  respond,  or  honored  by  responding, 
for  the  club  which  I  meet  to-night  for  the  first  time,  and  with 
which  therefore  I  cannot  be  so  intimately  acquainted  as  some  of 
you;  but  there  is  another  difficulty  still.  I  have  won  this  race 
three  times  in  my  life,  but  I  do  not  ever  remember  being  asked  to 
dinner  before.  Whatever  be  the  cause,  it  is  only  of  recent  years 
that  I  have  become  acquainted  with  the  dinner  of  the  Gimcrack 
Club,  and  what  makes  my  task  more  difficult  is  that  I  understand 
that,  owing  to  the  precedents  of  late  years — the  Gimcrack  Club 
having  been  in  relation  to  the  Turf  very  much  the  same  as  the 
Lord  Mayor 's  dinner  stands  in  relations  to  politics — it  is  given  to 
the  guest  of  the  evening  to  deliver  himself  of  some  dissertations 
on  current  turf  matters,  and  to  offer  suggestions  for  some  violent 
reform.  Of  that  I  am  quite  incapable.  If  you  welcome  me  here 
under  those  pretenses,  I  must  tell  you  at  once  that  I  am  an 

243 


244  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

imposter.  I  very  seldom  go  to  races,  and  if  I  go  to  see  a  particu- 
lar race  I  usually  arrive  not  long  before  the  race  takes  place,  and 
go  very  soon  after  it  has  taken  place.  As  regards  the  rules  of 
the  Jockey  Club,  there  was  a  time  when  I  used  to  know  something 
about  them,  but  they  have  been  so  changed  and  modified  since 
that  I  am  informed  by  experts  there  are  only  two  people  who,  in 
the  belief  of  the  most  credulous,  have  any  thorough  acquaintance 
with  them.  One  is  Mr.  Wetherby  and  the  other  is  Mr.  James 
Lowther,  and  I  am  not  perfectly  sure  of  Mr.  James  Lowther. 

In  those  circumstances  it  is  a  matter  of  embarrassment  to 
know  what  I  am  to  say  to  you  to-night.  I  cannot  extol  the  merits 
of  the  animal  which  won  the  Gimcrack  Stakes,  to  which  I  am 
indebted  for  this  honor,  because,  except  on  the  occasion  when 
she  won  this  historic  event,  she  displayed  no  marked  excellence, 
and  offers  no  prospect  of  it.  But,  after  all,  I  can  always  give 
advice  with  the  perpetual  prerogative  of  a  person  who  has  noth- 
ing to  say.  I  am  a  little  alarmed,  I  confess,  at  the  juvenile  remin- 
iscence of  my  friend  Lord  Wenlock,  because  I  am  afraid  that  it 
may  encourage  my  sons  to  take  in  their  turn  to  racing.  If  I  am 
asked  to  give  advice  to  those  who  are  inclined  to  spend  their  time 
and  money  on  the  turf,  I  should  give  them  the  advice  that  Punch 
gave  those  about  to  marry — ^" Don't."  That,  I  admit,  is  a  dis- 
couraging remark  for  an  assembly  of  sportsmen  and  I  perceive 
that  it  is  received  in  the  deadest  silence.  I  will  give  you  my 
reasons  for  that  remark.  In  the  first  place,  the  apprenticeship 
is  exceedingly  expensive;  in  the  next  place,  the  pursuit  is  too 
engrossing  for  any  one  who  has  anything  else  to  do  in  this  life ; 
and,  in  the  third  place,  the  rewards,  as  compared  with  the  disap- 
pointments, stand  in  the  relations  of,  at  the  most,  one  per  cent. 
An  ounce  of  fact  is  worth  a  ton  of  exhortation,  and  I  will  give 
you  my  experience;  and  it  wiU  be  an  exceedingly  genial  and 
pleasant  dinner  if  everybody  truthfully  gives  us  his. 

I  will  give  you  my  experience  of  the  Turf,  and  you  shall  judge 
whether  I  have  not  some  foundation  for  the  advice  that  I  give. 
A  great  many  years  ago — too  many  years  ago  from  one  point  of 
view — and  at  an  early  age — much  too  early  from  every  point  of 
view — I  conceived  the  ambition  to  win  the  Derby.    For  a  quarter 


SPORT  245 

of  a  century  I  struggled.  Sometimes  I  ran  second,  sometimes  I 
ran  third,  very  often  I  ran  last ;  but  at  last  the  time  arrived  when, 
as  Lord  Wenlock  reminded  you,  I  was  about  to  realize  the  fruition 
of  my  hopes.  I  was  with  the  second  Ladas  about  to  win  the 
Derby,  and  I  ought  to  have  been  the  happiest  of  men.  Well, 
after  a  quarter  of  a  century  of  fruitless  expectation,  I  won  the 
Derby.  But  what  was  the  result  ?  I  at  that  time  held  high  office, 
as  Lord  "Wenlock  has  also  reminded  you,  under  the  Crown.  I  was 
immediately  attacked  from  quarters  of  an  almost  inspired  char- 
acter for  owning  racehorses  at  all.  With  very  little  knowledge 
of  the  facts,  and  with  much  less  of  that  charity  '  *  that  thinketh  no 
evil,"  I  was  attacked  with  the  greatest  violence  for  owning  a 
racehorse  at  all.  I  then  made  the  discovery,  which  came  to  me 
too  late  in  life,  that  what  was  venial  and  innocent  in  the  other 
offices  of  the  Government — in  a  Secretary  of  State  or  a  President 
of  the  Council,  for  example — ^was  criminal  in  the  First  Lord  of 
the  Treasury.  I  do  not  even  know  if  I  ought  not  to  have  learnt 
another  lesson — ^that  although  without  guilt  and  oifense,  I  might 
perpetually  run  seconds  and  thirds,  or  even  run  last,  it  became 
a  matter  of  torture  to  many  consciences  if  I  won. 

But  my  trouble  did  not  end  there.  Shortly  afterwards  we 
had  a  general  election,  and  I  then  found  that,  having  received 
abundant  buffets  on  one  cheek  from  the  smiter,  I  was  now  to 
receive  them  on  the  other.  I  was  then  assailed,  or  rather  those 
associated  with  me  were  assailed,  not  because  we  were  too  sport- 
ing, but  because  we  were  not  sporting  enough.  Leagues  and 
associations  with  high-sounding  names  and  unerring  principles 
were  started  to  attack  my  unfortunate  supporters,  on  the  ground 
that  we  were  not  supporters  of  sport,  I  having  already  suffered 
so  severely  from  having  been  too  much  a  sportsman.  I  say  then 
I  have  a  right  to  give  advice,  having  suffered  on  both  sides 
for  being  too  sporting  and  for  not  being  sporting  enough.  That 
is  my  experience.  I  then  hoped  that  my  troubles  were  over.  I 
withdrew  into  the  sanctity  of  private  life,  and  I  felt  that  then,  at 
any  rate,  fortune  could  no  longer  assail  me,  and  that  I  should  be 
enabled  to  pursue  what  I  believe  is  facetiously  called  "the  sport 
of  Kings"  without  any  particular  detriment.    But  here  again  I 


246  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

am  mistaken.  Last  year  I  thought,  as  so  many  of  us  have  thought, 
that  I  possessed  the  horse  of  the  century,  and  I  believe  that  I  did 
own  a  very  good  horse  until  he  was  overtaken  by  an  illness ;  but 
I  at  once  began,  as  foolish  turfites  do,  to  build  all  sorts  of  castles 
in  the  air — to  buy  yachts  and  to  do  all  sorts  of  things  that  my 
means  on  that  hypothesis  would  permit.  From  the  very  moment 
I  began  to  form  these  projects  the  curse  fell  upon  me.  From 
October  first,  1896,  to  October  first,  1897,  I  ran  second  in  every 
race  in  which  I  ran,  except  two,  which  I  won,  and  I  think  that, 
when  I  advise  those  who  are  about  to  race  not  to  do  so,  I  am  justi- 
fied by  the  experience  which  I  have  laid  before  you  in  so  harrow- 
ing a  manner. 

Is  there  no  compensation  to  those  who  pursue  a  sport  which 
is  carried  on  under  such  difficulties  ?  I  myself  am  of  the  opinion 
that  there  are  friendships  formed  and  a  knowledge  of  the  world 
formed  on  the  Turf  which  are  invaluable  to  any  man  who  wishes 
to  get  on  in  life.  There  was  a  famous  lady  who  lived  in  the  middle 
of  this  century,  Harriet,  Lady  Ashburton,  who  summed  up  her 
view  on  the  subject  in  a  remark  which  has  been  preserved  by  the 
late  Lord  Houghton.  She  said,  "If  I  were  to  begin  life  again  I 
should  go  on  the  Turf  merely  to  get  friends.  They  seem  to  be  the 
only  people  who  really  hold  together — I  do  not  know  why.  It 
may  be  that  each  man  knows  something  that  would  hang  the  other, 
but  the  effect  is  delightful  and  most  peculiar."  If  that  was  the 
cause  of  Turf  friendship,  the  effect  would  be  most  peculiar ;  but 
of  this  I  am  perfectly  certain  that  is  not  the  real  basis  of  Turf 
friendship.  I  know  nothing  that  would  hang  any  of  those  I  have 
known  on  the  Turf,  and  I  am  quite  sure  that  if  anybody  on  the 
Turf,  or  if  anybody,  had  known  anything  that  would  hang  me 
about  three  years  ago,  I  should  not  be  in  life  at  this  moment.  But 
there  must  be  more  than  friendship — more  than  secrets  which  are 
too  dangerous  for  people  to  carry  about  with  them — ^to  constitute 
the  real  bond  of  union  on  the  Turf. 

Of  course,  many  men  say  that  it  is  gain.  I  do  not  think  any- 
body need  pursue  the  Turf  with  the  idea  of  gain,  and  I  have  been 
at  some  trouble  to  understand  why  I  and  others,  under  singular 
difficulties,  have  pursued  this  most  discouraging  amusement.    I 


SPORT  247 

see  my  trainer  looking  at  me  from  a  distant  table  with  an  inquir- 
ing eye.  He  could  tell  you  probably  better  than  I  could  tell  you ; 
but,  so  far  as  I  am  concerned,  the  pleasures  of  the  Turf  do  not 
so  much  lie  on  the  race  course.  They  lie  in  the  breeding  of  a  horse, 
in  that  most  delightful  furniture  of  any  park  or  enclosure — the 
brood  mare  and  the  foal — in  watching  the  development  of  the 
foal,  the  growth  of  the  horse  and  the  exercise  of  the  horse  at  home ; 
but  I  do  not  believe  that  even  that  would  be  sufficient,  if  we  had 
not  some  secret  ambition  to  lure  us  on.  It  is  obviously  not  in 
being  winners  of  the  Ten  Thousand  Guineas  and  such  races,  for 
these  are  practically  unapproachable;  but  after  very  careful 
analysis  from  all  the  facts  that  have  come  under  my  observation, 
I  believe  it  to  be  an  anxious  desire  of  aspirants  for  fame  con- 
nected with  the  Turf  to  become  the  owner  of  what  is  called  "the 
horse  of  the  century." 

"Whether  they  will  ever  do  so  or  not  is  a  matter  of  very  great 
doubt  in  all  their  minds,  and  how  they  are  to  set  about  it  must 
be  a  matter  of  still  more  anxious  inquisition.  There  is  the  method 
of  purchase,  but  I  speak  in  the  presence  of  a  number  of  gentlemen, 
some  of  whom  perhaps  breed  horses  for  sale  or  have  horses  for 
sale,  and  I  therefore  do  not  venture  to  speak  of  that  method  with 
disparagement ;  but  I  do  not  think  the  horse  of  the  century  will 
ever  be  acquired  at  auction.  Then  there  is  the  method  of  abstract 
theory  and  historical  law.  There  is  an  idea  that  by  some  con- 
nection with  Byerley  Turk — which  in  itself  has  a  horrible  flavor 
of  the  Eastern  Question  about  it — that  you  may  acquire  the  horse 
of  the  century.  Lastly,  there  is  the  method  of  numbers — ^that 
new-fashioned  method  of  numbers.  You  do  something  on  paper 
that  looks  like  a  rule-of -three  sum,  and  in  a  moment  you  have  the 
horse  of  the  century.  I  am  not  sure  that  we  do  believe  in  any  of 
these  ways.  I  believe  the  goddess  of  Fortune  plays  a  great  part 
in  the  production  of  the  horse  of  the  century.  "What  we  who  are 
striving  to  produce  that  miraculous  animal  can  fold  to  our  bosom 
is  this,  that  the  century  is  drawing  to  a  close,  and  that  possibly 
we  may  have  better  luck  in  producing  it  in  the  twentieth  century 
than  we  had  in  producing  it  in  the  nineteenth.  There  was  a  rela- 
tive of  mine,  whose  name  may  have  been  known  to  some  of  you 


248  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

V, 

as  an  eccentric  lady,  who  lived  in  the  East — I  mean  Lady  Hester 
Stanhope.  She  also  dreamed  of  having  a  miraculous  animal  of 
this  description.  She  expected  to  possess  a  mare  which  should 
be  born  with  a  back  like  a  saddle,  which  should  carry  a  prophet 
into  Jerusalem  with  Lady  Hester  by  her  side.  She  obtained  the 
horse,  but  the  prophet  never  arrived.  And  across  all  these  dreams 
of  the  future  there  is  one  cloud  in  the  horizon.  We  fancy  that 
we  feel  the  sobering  influence  of  the  motor-car.  As  yet  it  is  only 
in  its  infancy ;  it  is,  as  yet,  rather  given  to  afford  a  mild  sensation 
of  notoriety  to  its  patrons,  combined  with  a  considerable  smell 
of  oil  and  a  rattle  of  wheels.  We  may  not  yet  imagine  Lord  Lons- 
dale hunting  the  Quorn  hounds  or  inspecting  a  foreign  army  from 
the  back  of  a  motor-car.  We  may  not  yet  be  able  to  realize  his 
Royal  Highness,  the  Prince  of  Wales,  leading  home  the  victorious 
locomotive  in  the  national  race  on  Epsom  Downs.  Let  us  hope, 
at  any  rate,  for  the  best.  I  believe  that  so  long  as  institutions 
like  the  Gimcrack  Club  are  kept  in  full  vigor  and  are  not  allowed 
to  die  out  we  have  a  fair  prospect  of  racing  before  us. 

I  must  say  one  word  in  conclusion  about  the  toast  committed 
to  my  charge.  It  is  that  of  the  Gimcrack  Club,  and  I  see  opposite 
me  an  engraving  of  the  picture,  which  I  am  so  fortunate  as  to 
possess,  by  Stubbs  of  that  very  beautiful  little  animal.  I  am  not 
quite  sure  why  it  is  that  the  Gimcrack  Club  was  founded,  and 
founded  in  York,  because  as  a  matter  of  fact  I  looked  over  his 
performances  this  morning  and  find  that  out  of  his  very  few 
defeats  two  of  them  took  place  on  York  racecourse  and  his  vic- 
tories were  usually  in  the  south  of  England.  We  can  never  account 
for  these  things,  and  it  is  at  any  rate  a  great  thing  to  have  kept 
alive  the  memory  of  that  gallant  little  horse — ^which,  I  do  not  sup- 
pose, stood  over  fourteen  hands  when  alive — for  nearly  a  century 
and  a  half  in  this  ancient  and  venerable  city.  He  was  a  horse 
which  I  think  anybody  would  fear  to  possess  now,  with  the  con- 
ditions that  he  was  to  run  two  or  three  four-mile  heats  every  week 
for  fifty  pounds ;  yet  having  been  so  valuable  and  admired  as  to 
found  a  club  of  his  own,  he  constantly  changed  hands,  and  was 
once  even  allowed  to  become  the  possession  of  a  foreigner.  That, 
I  think,  is  perhaps  a  danger  that  we  escape.    There  must  have 


SPORT  249 

been  heavy  hearts  in  York  when  Gimcrack  became  the  property 
of  a  Frenchman.  But  he  was  reclaimed  and  lived  to  a  good  old 
age,  and  so  has  immortalized  himself.  But  let  me  draw  one  con- 
cluding moral.  This  is  the  one  hundred  and  thirty-first  dinner 
of  the  Gimcrack  Club.  He  lived  one  hundred  and  thirty  years 
ago.  How  many  poets,  how  many  philosophers,  aye,  how  many 
statesmen,  would  be  remembered  one  hundred  and  thirty  years 
after  they  had  lived  ?  May  we  not  draw  from  this  fact  the  con- 
clusion that  the  sport  that  we  honor  to-night,  which  we  believe 
was  never  better  and  purer  than  at  this  moment,  never  more 
honest  in  its  followers,  never  pursued  with  greater  interest  for 
the  honor,  as  apart  from  the  lucre,  of  the  Turf,  may  we  not  draw 
this  conclusion — that  this  sport  will  not  perish  in  our  land  what- 
ever its  enemies  may  do,  and  that,  however  festive  its  celebration 
to-night  may  be,  a  century  hence  our  descendants  will  be  toasting 
the  Gimcrack  Club  and  hailing  what  I  hope  will  be  a  more 
reputable  representative  of  the  winner  of  the  Gimcrack  Stakes  ? 


GOLF.  . 

Lord  Rosebery. 

Lord  Rosebery  was  not  himself  swept  away  by  what  has  been  called 
the  "Great  Golf  Stream."  But  he  has  allowed  himself  to  be  publicly 
identified  with  the  game.  In  May,  1897,  he  took  part  in  the  opening  of 
the  Edinburgh  Burgess  Golfing  Society's  Club  House  at  Barnton,  near 
Dalmeny.  At  the  consequent  Cake  and  Wine  Banquet,  he  was  made 
an  honorary  member  and  was  presented  with  a  set  of  golf  clubs. 
"But  though  you  may  take  a  horse  to  water,  you  cannot  make  him 
drink,"  his  editor  comments  on  Lord  Rosebery  and  his  address  on  this 
occasion. 

I  am  sincerely  indebted  to  you  for  the  honorary  ticket  of 
membership  and  for  the  set  of  golf  clubs  that  you  have  been  so 
good  as  to  present  to  me.  I  should  be  very  glad  to  think  that  the 
membership  would  cease  to  be  honorary,  and  that  I  might  be 
able  to  take  my  part  in  the  amusements  of  the  club,  but  I  think 
that  would  require  very  mature  consideration.  In  the  meantime, 
at  any  rate,  I  shall  preserve  the  book  and  the  clubs  as  the 
trophy  and  memorial  of  an  agreeable  meeting.  And,  even  if  I 
were  unable  to  make  use  of  the  clubs  myself,  there  are  two 
young  gentlemen  with  whom  I  am  connected  and  for  whom  I 
am  responsible  who,  I  think,  would  very  likely  take  them  off  my 
hands  if  I  neglected  to  make  use  of  them.  In  correspondence 
with  the  secretary  of  the  club,  he  told  me  that  he  hoped  I  would 
make  a  short  speech  under  the  veranda — ^to  which  I  willingly 
acceded — but  that  my  principal  speech  would  be  made  upstairs. 
I  rejoined  that  I  did  not  propose  on  this  occasion  to  make  any 
principal  speech,  because  it  struck  me  as  an  occasion  of  a  neigh- 
borly, friendly,  and  informal  kind,  and  I  think  I  should  dissipate 
all  the  charm  of  the  meeting  if  I  were  to  laboriously  get  up  a 
speech  on  golf  from  one  of  the  popular  handbooks  and  deliver  a 
lecture  amid  the  covert  smiles  of  my  audience. 

After  all,  however,  it  is  not  uninteresting  to  know  what  are 

250 


GOLF  251 

the  impressions  of  the  pursuit,  with  which  you  are  thoroughly 
conversant,  when  regarded  from  an  outside  point  of  view — and 
I  myself,  of  course,  am  only  an  outsider ;  but  I  do  say  one  special 
recommendation  of  golf — a  recommendation  which  will  increase 
on  me  as  I  grow  older — is  that  it  is  a  game  that  can  be  pursued 
to  an  advanced  period  of  life.  In  that  respect  it  is  like  the  royal 
game  of  tennis — the  illustrious  game  of  tennis.  But  then  tennis 
is  a  game  that  has  very  few  facilities  of  the  courts  for  playing  it, 
whereas  golf  requires  very  little  but  assisted  nature  for  its 
development.  I  am  told  that  the  game  of  fives  is  also  a  game 
that  can  be  practiced  in  extreme  old  age,  but  I  suspect  that  those 
who  try  to  carry  out  that  theory  will  find  that  the  game  of  fives, 
like  the  highest  statesmanship  of  Europe,  requires  an  iron  hand 
within  a  velvet  glove,  and  I  for  one  should  be  very  sorry  to 
expose  my  hand  to  the  game  of  fives  with  the  slightest  hope 
of  being  able  to  write  a  letter  for  many  weeks  afterwards.  It  is, 
I  think,  a  very  leading  advantage  of  the  game  of  golf,  but  of 
course  it  is  an  advantage  which  has,  I  suppose,  secured  to  a 
large  extent  its  universal  popularity.  Scotland  has  once  more 
now  conquered  the  world  by  her  game  of  golf.  There  is  no 
common  in  England  which  is  so  lonely  or  so  deserted  as  not  to 
expose  to  view  two  gentlemen  followed  by  a  couple  of  boys  with 
a  bundle  of  clubs.  In  my  own  neighborhood  of  Surrey,  where  I 
am  quite  certain  that  golf  was  never  heard  of  till  ten  or  twelve 
years  ago,  our  walks  abroad  are  rendered  almost  as  dangerous 
as  the  facing  of  a  battery  in  time  of  war  by  the  enormous  num- 
ber of  metropolitan  golfers  who  hurry  down  to  enjoy  their  favor- 
ite pursuit. 

That  would  seem  almost  to  be  sufficient  praise  in  itself,  but 
I  think  there  is  a  very  considerable  drawback,  and  at  the  risk  of 
being  torn  to  pieces  before  I  leave  this  room  I  will  mention  what 
the  drawback  is.  The  other  day  I  was  speaking  to  an  old  friend 
of  mine — tortures  shall  not  wring  his  name  from  me,  because  his 
life  would  not  be  safe.  He  said,  **I  hear  you  are  going  to  open 
a  golf  clubhouse  next  week.  I  wonder  at  that  because  I  always 
thought  it  a  very  dull  game. ' '  My  censure  and  criticism  of  golf 
is  at  the  other  pole  to  that  of  my  friend.    My  dread  of  learning 


252  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

it,  my  dread  of  coming  among  you  as  an  actual  member  is  this, 
that  it  is  far  too  engrossing  and  absorbing.  "When  a  man  is  once 
seriously  inoculated  with  the  love  of  golf  he  is  of  very  little 
use  for  other  pursuits  of  society.  I  kaow  one  gentleman  at  least 
of  considerable  possessions  and  large  business  transactions  who 
declines  to  open  his  letters  on  the  morning  on  which  he  is  going 
to  play  golf  for  fear  anything  in  them  should  distract  his  atten- 
tion ;  and  a  short  time  ago,  without  trenching  on  the  strict  bar- 
rier that  divides  us  happily  from  politics  to-day,  I  saw  it  as  a 
charge  against  a  distinguished  statesman  that  he  gave  too  much 
time  to  golf  and  not  enough  to  the  House  of  Commons.  I  say, 
then,  when  a  man  in  middle  life  makes  a  deliberate  choice  of  golf 
as  his  amusement,  knowing  these  facts  and  viewing  the  infatua- 
tion of  his  friends,  he  is  making  a  choice  second  only  in  gravity 
to  the  choice  of  a  wife.  I  myself  shrink,  I  am  bound  to  say, 
without  further  knowledge,  therefore,  from  becoming  an  actual 
member  of  your  club,  but  for  reasons  I  gave  before  I  give  you 
my  most  hearty  good  wishes  for  your  welfare  and  prosperity, 
and  I  may  at  least  avail  myself  of  the  privilege  that  you  have 
conferred  on  me  of  inviting  my  guests  to  come  and  take  a  game 
over  the  links,  and  if  so  to  watch  as  a  dispassionate  philosopher 
the  progress  of  the  game.  I  shall  only  gain  in  your  esteem  by 
not  making  myself  a  golfer  actually  and  practically  without  a 
much  longer  and  more  serious  consideration  of  the  prospect  that 
it  involves. 


THE  PROGRESSIVENESS  OF  IDEALS. 

Henrik  Ibsen. 

Several  of  Ibsen's  banquet  speeches  have  been  translated  by  Ame 
Kildal,  of  the  Library  of  Congress.  They  are  all  short.  In  an  Intro- 
duction to  the  book  containing  these  speeches.  Professor  Lee  M.  Hol- 
lander says,  "Ibsen  never  made  any  pretensions  to  being  an  orator. 
He  lacks  the  full-throated  eloquence,  the  lyric  fervor,  and  all  the  other 
attributes  of  the  public  speaker.  *  •  •  His  is  a  nature  that  abhors 
platitudes,  has  a  direct  hatred  of  the  commonplace,  the  current  coin, 
the  phrase.  His  most  abject  figures  are  Steensgaard  and  Hjalmer 
Ekdal,  ready  speakers  both.  In  fact,  a  genuine  Ironist  rarely  is  an 
effective  speaker,  and  hardly  ever  wishes  to  be.  Thus  Ibsen  is  ever 
negative — sceptical,  first  of  all,  about  public  comprehension  en  masse; 
wishes  to  pour  cold  water  on  enthusiasm — cool  down  to  reflection, 
rather  than  carry  away  and  fire  up  the  profane  crowd  with  his  own 
Ideals.  Like  Kierkegaard,  greatest  individual  of  modern  times,  he 
insists  on  appealing  only  to  the  individual,  holding  unions,  clubs,  and 
the  like,  in  contempt.  Under  such  circumstances,  it  is  hardly  proba- 
ble that  the  carefully  prepared  utterances  *  *  «  found  immediate 
appreciation  apart  from  the  personality  of  the  speaker.  Viewed  as 
declarations  of  faith,  summarizing  the  general  conclusions  he  had 
arrived  at  for  the  time,  they  are  veritable  gems  of  concise  and  Incisive 
statement.  *  *  •  In  his  sparing  use  of  adjectives  he  reminds  one 
of  Lessing.  No  superfiuous  words,  no  emotional  dross."  Ibsen  has 
been  called  a  great  egotist,  but,  essentially,  he  was  not  that.  At  a 
Danish  students'  banquet  in  Copenhagen  in  October,  1885,  he  said,  "I 
do  not  like  at  all  to  hear  my  praises  sung  so  loudly.  I  prefer  solitude, 
and  I  always  feel  an  inclination  to  protest  when  the  health  of  an 
artist  or  a  poet  is  proposed  with  a  motive  such  as:  There  stands  he, 
and  there  far  away  are  the  others.  But  the  thanks  given  me  contain 
also  an  admission.  If  my  existence  has  been  of  any  Importance,  as 
you  say  it  has,  the  reason  is  that  there  is  kinship  between  me  and 
the  times.  There  is  no  yawning  gulf  fixed  between  the  one  who  pro- 
duces and  the  one  who  receives.  There  is  kinship  between  the  two. 
I  thank  you  for  the  kinship  I  have  found  here  among  you."  The  fol- 
lowing address  was  given  at  a  banquet  in  Stockholm,  September 
twenty-fourth,  1887. 

253 


£54  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

Ladies  and  Gentlemen :  My  most  sincere  thanks  for  all  the 
friendliness  and  good  understanding  which  I  have  at  this  time 
received  proof  of  here.  A  great  happiness  is  experienced  in  the 
feeling  of  possessing  a  greater  country.  But  to  reply  fully  to  all 
the  words  of  praise  of  which  I  have  just  been  made  the  object 
lies  beyond  and  above  my  power.  There  is,  however,  one  par- 
ticular point  in  these  utterances  which  I  should  like  to  consider 
for  a  moment.  It  has  been  said  that  I,  and  that  in  a  prominent 
manner,  have  contributed  to  create  a  new  era  in  these  countries. 
I,  on  the  contrary,  believe  that  the  time  in  which  we  now  live 
might  with  quite  as  good  reason  be  characterized  as  a  conclu- 
sion, and  that  from  it  something  new  is  about  to  be  born.  For  I 
believe  that  the  teaching  of  natural  science  about  evolution  has 
validity  also  as  regards  the  mental  factors  of  life.  I  believe  that 
the  time  will  soon  come  when  political  and  social  conceptions  will 
cease  to  exist  in  their  present  forms,  and  that  from  their 
coalescence  there  will  come  a  unity,  which,  for  the  present,  will 
contain  the  conditions  for  the  happiness  of  mankind.  I  believe 
that  poetry,  philosophy  and  religion  will  be  merged  in  a  new 
category  and  become  a  new  vital  force,  of  which  we  who  live  now 
can  have  no  clear  conception. 

It  has  been  said  of  me  on  different  occasions  that  I  am  a 
pessimist.  And  so  I  am,  in  so  far  as  I  do  not  believe  in  the 
everlastingness  of  human  ideals.  But  I  am  also  an  optimist  in 
so  far  as  I  jSrmly  believe  in  the  capacity  for  procreation  and 
development  of  ideals.  Especially,  to  be  more  definite,  I  am  of 
the  opinion  that  the  ideals  of  our  time,  while  disintegrating,  are 
tending  towards  what  in  my  play  ** Emperor  and  Galilean"  I 
indicated  by  the  name  of  "the  third  Kingdom."  Therefore,  per- 
mit me  to  drink  a  toast  to  that  which  is  in  the  process  of  forma- 
tion,— to  that  which  is  to  come.  It  is  on  a  Saturday  night  that 
we  are  assembled  here.  Following  it  comes  the  day  of  rest,  the 
festival  day,  the  holy  day — whichever  you  wish  to  call  it.  For 
my  part,  I  shall  be  content  with  the  result  of  my  life's  work,  if 
this  work  can  serve  to  prepare  the  spirit  for  the  morrow.  But 
above  all  I  shall  be  content  if  it  shall  serve  to  strengthen  the  mind 
in  that  week  of  work  which  will  of  a  necessity  follow.  I  thank 
you  for  your  attention. 


THE  REGULAR  ARMY  OF  THE  UNITED  STATES. 

Major  Geisheral  J.  Franklin  Bell. 

At  the  dinner  of  the  General  Society  of  Sons  of  the  Revolution, 
held  at  the  New  Willard  Hotel,  in  Washington,  April  twenty-eighth, 
1908,  after  the  band  played  My  Old  Kentucky  Home  and  after  three 
cheers  were  given  for  the  United  States  Army,  General  Bell  responded 
to  this  toast 

Mr.  President,  Brethren  of  the  Sons  of  the  Revolution :  Since 
the  band  has  displayed  the  fact  that  I  am  a  Kentuckian  [applause 
and  cheers] ,  I  presume  it  will  be  considered  quite  appropriate  if, 
instead  of  discussing  the  Army  of  the  United  States,  I  should 
discuss  war,  because  it  seems  to  be  the  genius  of  my  State  to  get 
up  wars  on  its  own  account  [laughter]  whenever  occasion,  fit  or 
unfit,  arises.     [Laughter.] 

So  much  has  been  said  of  the  past  to-night,  that  I  am  almost 
ashamed  to  begin  a  few  remarks  about  the  future  by  referring  to 
the  past;  yet  I,  too,  have  a  serious  message,  and  so,  to  point  a 
moral,  you  will  permit  me  to  refer  to  the  earliest  efforts  of 
mankind  in  the  line  of  war,  to  trace  the  causes  of  war  to  what  I 
think  will  soon  become  the  only  possible  cause. 

In  the  earliest  stages  of  the  existence  of  man,  he  had  little 
time  for  anything  else  but  to  maintain  existence  and  protect  him- 
self against  the  wild  beasts  of  the  forest.  Tradition  furnishes  no 
clue  when  man  first  began  to  use  against  man  the  crude  weapons 
which  he  had  devised  to  protect  himself  from  the  wild  beasts. 
But,  beginning  with  the  first  warlike  king  of  Egypt,  with  the 
conflict  of  the  four  Kings  against  the  five  Kings  in  the  Vale  of 
Sidon,  and  continuing  to  the  present  date,  men  have  continued 
to  fight  each  other,  until  now  it  is  estimated  that  some  6,680,- 
000,000  have  died  in  battle.  And  notwithstanding  this  gruesome 
record,  men  continue  to  fight  each  other,  and,  in  my  opinion,  will 
still  continue  to  do  so  until  the  coming  of  the  millennium. 

Now,  what  application  have  these  supposed  historical  facta 

255 


256  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

to  our  own  situation,  our  own  future?  Let  us  examine  the  causes 
of  war.  The  first  wars  of  which  history  gives  us  any  accouut 
were  predatory  in  their  nature.  When  men  began  to  collect  in 
groups  and  make  clearings  and  cultivate  the  lands  along  the 
coasts,  and  prosperity  resulted  in  the  accumulation  of  property, 
less  favored  beings  from  the  mountains  came  down  to  prey  upon 
their  more  fortunate  neighbors  below.  This  led  to  a  portion  of 
the  people  standing  guard  while  the  rest  cultivated  the  soil; 
and  when  they  were  attacked  in  some  unexpected  quarter  by 
these  mountain  hordes  the  men  who  were  tolled  off  as  guards  must 
fight  desperately  until  succor  and  reinforcements  arrived  from 
among  the  workers.  And  that  is  the  profession  of  the  soldier, 
with  its  foundation  in  the  idea  of  the  self-sacrifice  of  some  for  the 
benefit  of  all.    [Applause.] 

The  next  wars  with  which  history  were  concerned  were 
religious  wars ;  and,  according  to  history,  Christians  inflicted  far 
more  damage  on  each  other  in  their  intensive  conflict  than  they 
ever  suffered  from  the  hands  of  pagans. 

Next  we  come  to  wars  of  aggrandizement — ^national  aggran- 
dizement— and,  passing  those  by  without  remark,  we  come  to  the 
wars  based  on  national  grievances,  on  national  resentments,  or 
upon  the  ambitions  or  the  resentment  of  kings. 

Next  we  find  record  in  history  of  wars  for  conquest.  Next, 
wars  conducted  because  of  disputes  in  trade. 

Gentlemen,  all  the  wars  I  have  thus  far  mentioned,  until  the 
last,  have  ceased  to  be  popular  in  this  civilized  age — I  should 
have  said  ceased  to  be  possible ;  but  nearly  all  recent  wars  have 
been  based  upon  trade  disputes  or  upon  a  desire  for  commercial 
supremacy.  This  is  a  type  of  war  which  cannot  cease  to  exist, 
and  why  ?  Upon  trade  supremacy  absolutely  rests  sometimes  the 
very  salvation  of  a  nation.  Is  there  any  nation  on  earth  so  puerile, 
so  cowardly,  that  it  is  liable  to  give  up  its  very  existence  without 
a  struggle?  A  nation  without  courage  is  not  liable  to  harbor 
any  other  virtue  very  long. 

Let  us  examine  for  a  moment  what  connection,  what  influence, 
possibilities  of  this  character  may  have  for  our  country  in  the 
future.    At  the  present  time  England  supports  558  inhabitants 


THE  REGULAE  ARMY  257 

to  the  square  mile,  whilst  the  United  States  has  but  26.  Were 
it  not  for  the  capacity  of  England  to  maintain  its  foreign  trade, 
people  would  starve  to  death  in  less  than  a  year.  Practically 
every  nation,  almost  all  the  old  nations  on  earth,  all  the  inhabitants 
of  the  Old  World,  have  learned  by  experience  that  they  must  have 
foreign  trade  to  promote  the  welfare  and  prosperity  of  their 
people.  Even  we  in  the  United  States,  notwithstanding  the  fact 
that  we  have  been  so  busy  developing  our  own  resources,  which 
are  still  almost  boundless,  in  an  undeveloped  state,  find  ourselves 
seeking  foreign  trade — find  ourselves  seeking  investments  for 
our  surplus  capital  in  foreign  countries.  And  why  is  this? 
Simply  and  solely  because,  gentlemen,  when  agricultural  develop- 
ment has  reached  a  certain  stage  in  proportion  to  population,  this 
is  no  longer  a  remunerative  source  for  investment  of  capital.  We 
ought  not  to  have  much  difficulty  in  foreseeing  a  time  when  pos- 
sibly we  also  may  badly  need  foreign  trade  to  maintain  our  pres- 
ent standard  of  prosperity  and  of  living  among  the  masses.  It 
may  seem  a  far  cry,  when  England  is  so  prosperous  with  558 
people  to  the  square  mile,  to  begin  to  fear  that  a  country  having 
only  26  people  to  the  square  mile  should  some  time  need  succor 
from  the  outside  to  maintain  its  prosperity.  But,  gentlemen, 
just  pause  and  think  for  a  moment  how  much  an  American  likes 
to  spread  himself.  Why,  it  takes  about  fifty  times  as  much  room 
for  him  to  feel  comfortable  in  as  the  average  citizen  on  earth. 
It  is  no  impossible  thing  that  within  the  lives  of  some  of  our 
children  we  may  find  it  very  difficult  indeed  to  maintain  the 
standard  of  living  now  enjoyed  by  our  laboring  classes,  to  main- 
tain the  prosperity  which  this  country  has  on  an  average — not 
the  prosperity  of  last  year,  not  the  prosperity  of  any  other  boom 
period,  but  just  the  average  prosperity — ^the  day  may  soon  come 
when  it  will  be  very  difficult  for  us  to  maintain  that  prosperity 
without  foreign  trade.  Now,  what  is  necessary  in  order  to  main- 
tain foreign  trade  ?  Do  you  think  the  nations  on  earth  who  are 
now  struggling  tooth  and  toenail  for  all  the  trade  they  can 
possibly  get  are  going  to  allow  the  United  States  to  have  its 
share  merely  out  of  generosity,  merely  out  of  altruism  ?  Do  you 
suppose  the  United  States  can  sit  down  and  simply  do  nothing 


258  AFTER-DINNEE  SPEECHES 

and  yet  maintain  its  share  of  the  trade  of  the  world?  The 
man  who  entertains  such  a  thought  can  never  have  perused  the 
pages  of  a  single  history. 

How  has  England  acquired  its  enormous  and  wonderful  com- 
mand of  the  commerce  of  the  world  ?  Read  your  histories,  gen- 
tlemen! You  will  find  that  there  have  been  long-headed,  wise, 
wonderfully  far-sighted  statesmen  who  have  been  pursuing  one 
policy  steadily,  without  hesitation  and  without  variation,  and 
that  policy  is  to  acquire  vantage  points  over  the  face  of  the 
earth  from  which  it  could  protect  its  trade  on  the  sea. 

I  have  in  my  hand  a  small  map  in  outline,  which  you  see  is 
fairly  well  besprinkled  with  names.  Every  one  of  these  names 
is  that  of  a  coaling  station,  a  fortified  naval  base  or  a  fortification 
which  serves  as  a  refuge  for  the  navy  of  England  in  its  opera- 
tions over  the  broad  sea  of  the  universe.  When  you  come  to 
look  at  the  dates  when  many  of  these  places  were  acquired,  you 
will  find  they  go  back  as  far  as  the  fifteenth  century;  and  as 
early  as  the  middle  of  the  seventeenth  century  there  was  scarcely 
a  statesman  in  England  that  had  not  come  to  realize  the  impor- 
tance of  coaling  stations  conveniently  distributed  throughout 
the  civilized  world. 

Has  the  United  States  a  policy  of  this  character?  Has  the 
United  States  any  national  policy  ?  We  grant  we  have  a  Monroe 
doctrine — one  feature  of  a  policy.  We  have  recently  announced 
another — ^twin  trouble-maker  with  the  Monroe  doctrine — ^the 
Open  Door.  Is  anyone  so  simple  as  to  think  that  the  United 
States  can  maintain  those  doctrines  merely  by  their  announce- 
ment? Have  we  forgotten  the  sage  advice  given  by  him  who 
was  the  greatest  in  war,  greatest  in  peace,  and  greatest  in  the 
hearts  of  his  countrymen,  that  the  best  way  to  maintain  peace 
was  to  be  prepared  for  war  ?    [Applause.] 

I  have  sometimes  quoted  a  remark  by  the  great  German 
statesman  Bismarck,  that  the  Lord  looks  after  geese  and  the 
weak-minded  and  the  United  States.  [Laughter.]  When  we 
stop  to  consider  how  our  people,  blessed  by  the  best  country,  the 
most  prosperous  condition,  the  most  boundless  resources  that  a 
young  nation  was  ever  possessed  of  on  earth;  when  we  stop  to 


THE  REGULAR  ARMY  259 

consider  that  in  gazing  at  this  wonderful  prize,  we  have  for- 
gotten, or  failed  to  see,  that  we  might  need  something  outside 
of  that  sometimes;  when  we  stop  to  consider  how  short-sighted 
we  have  sometimes  been,  we  feel  that  Bismarck  was  not  joking 
after  alL 

Has  any  of  us  forgotten  that  a  great  and  much-beloved  Presi- 
dent on  one  occasion  desired  our  people  to  permit  him  to  purchase 
for  a  comparatively  nominal  sum  a  small  island  situated  in  the 
Atlantic  near  our  coast,  which  the  country  then  possessing  it 
was  willing  and  anxious  to  sell;  that,  supported  by  popular 
opinion,  our  Congress  declined  to  give  the  authority,  and  that 
within  the  past  four  or  five  years  we  have  been  trying  in  vain 
to  purchase  that  island  at  the  cost  of  many  millions?  Have  we 
forgotten  that  Hawaii  was  almost  forced  upon  us?  And  yet  in 
these  few  years  which  have  passed  since  that  island  was  literally 
and  absolutely  presented  to  an  unappreciative  people,  within  a 
few  years  since  that  happened,  our  people  have  come  to  be  a 
unit  in  regarding  it  as  one  of  the  greatest  blessings  we  possess 
for  the  defense  of  our  Pacific  coast. 

Gentlemen,  less  than  six  months  ago  the  librarian  of  one  of 
the  principal  libraries  in  the  United  States  told  me  that  about 
the  year  1808  our  whaling  fleet  covered  both  oceans,  the  Pacific 
and  the  Atlantic ;  that  it  got  to  be  the  pastime  of  whalers  to  hoist 
the  American  flag  upon  every  unoccupied  or  unclaimed  island 
that  they  came  across  and  send  word  home  that  they  had  taken 
possession  of  this  and  that  island  in  the  Pacific.  In  those  days 
nobody  wanted  them,  and  bye  and  bye  some  statesmen,  unques- 
tionably inspired  by  good  motives,  but  now,  in  the  light  of  this 
day,  recognizable  as  mistaken  ones,  came  to  the  conclusion  that 
we  were  violating  the  sage  advice  of  our  grandfathers  to  avoid 
entanglements,  and  published  that  list  of  islands  to  the  world, 
renouncing  any  control  thereof  by  the  United  States;  and  in 
less  than  twenty  years*  time  the  United  States  Government  tried 
to  buy  one  of  those  islands  which  had  been  picked  up  by  another 
Government  for  $10,000,000,  and  has  not  got  the  island  yet. 

Now,  gentlemen,  we  indulge  in  "hot  air";  it  is  a  common 
American  habit.    We  easily  become  puffed  up  with  pride  when 


260  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

we  have  accomplished  anything  which  we  think  is  something 
great.  As  a  consequence,  we  are  swelling  with  pride  that  our 
fleet,  probably  one  of  the  best  equipped,  the  most  modern,  most 
powerful  fleet  that  ever  sailed  the  ocean,  has  accomplished  the 
task  that  no  other  fleet  has  ever  accomplished  on  earth. 
[Applause.] 

I  am  very  glad  of  that  applause,  because  the  next  remark  I 
shall  make  won't  be  applauded.  Has  it  occurred  to  a  single 
one  of  you,  gentlemen,  that  our  fleet  could  not  possibly  sail 
around  the  Horn  if  war  existed?    Impossible! 

A  Voice:    What  is  the  use? 

General  Bell :  I  hope  you  will  never  live  to  see  the  day  when 
it  will  be  useful ! 

In  war,  every  neutral  port  is  closed  to  our  fleet ;  we  have  not 
a  coaling  station,  we  have  not  a  harbor  of  refuge,  we  have  not  a 
thing  of  that  character  from  Guantanamo  to  San  Francisco, 
excepting  the  Samoan  Islands,  which  are  away  out  in  the  Pacific 
Ocean.  Now,  who  could  do  it  ?  Nobody  but  England,  unless  they 
have  an  alliance  with  South  American  countries.  And  why? 
Because  in  the  middle  of  the  seventeenth  century  England  took 
possession  of  the  only  harbor  in  the  Falkland  islands,  which  lie 
off  the  coast  of  South  America  and  within  striking  distance  of 
the  Straits  of  Magellan. 

Now,  a  gentleman  a  moment  ago  asked  me,  ''What  is  the  use 
of  it?"  There  won't  be  any  use  of  going  around  the  Horn  after 
the  Panama  Canal  is  constructed.  However,  I  would  like  to 
elaborate  and  show  that  there  is  great  use  of  getting  our  navy 
into  the  Pacific.  "We  think  enough  of  foreign  trade  right  now 
to  want  our  share  of  the  trade  of  China.  It  has  been  estimated 
that  if  the  standard  of  living  among  the  Chinese  was  raised  equal 
to  that  which  now  exists  in  America  it  would  be  like  creating 
five  Americas.  If  the  standard  of  living  was  raised  fifty  per 
cent.,  it  would  be  the  equivalent,  in  a  trade  way,  of  adding  200,- 
000,000  to  the  population  of  the  earth. 

In  the  year  1905  I  read  in  statistics  in  the  United  States  the 
astounding  fact  that  the  tonnage  which  entered  the  harbor  of 
Hong  Kong  was  greater  than  that  entering  any  other  harbor 


THE  REGULAR  AEMY  261 

on  earth,  not  excepting  London,  or  Hamburg,  or  New  York. 
Now,  what  does  this  mean  ?  Simply  that  that  is  the  distributing 
station  for  the  Orient,  mostly  for  China;  and  yet  it  is  a  well- 
known  fact  that  the  trade  of  China  is  but  just  scratched,  and 
that  only  along  the  coast.  The  people  of  China  have  begun  to 
awaken.  There  is  a  wonderfully  quiet,  domestic,  peaceful  lesson 
going  on  in  China.  This  is  indicated  by  the  fact  of  the  abolition 
of  the  ancient  and  classical  customs,  the  desire  for  Western 
learning,  the  construction  of  modern  means  of  communication, 
of  telegraph  and  railways.  There  is  not  now  a  principal  town 
in  China  not  connected  with  Peking  by  wire,  whereas  a  few  years 
ago  a  telegraph  line  was  unknown.  Now  the  capital  of  China 
is  connected  with  Hankow — the  Chicago  of  China — by  a  rail- 
road. There  is  a  railway  projected  from  Canton  to  Hankow.  A 
railway  from  Peking  into  Mongolia  is  being  constructed  by 
Chinese  capital. 

Within  the  recollection  of  all  of  us  at  the  present  time,  the 
internal  trade  of  China  was  conducted  by  wheelbarrows.  The 
delay  in  the  construction  of  railroads  in  China  has  been  caused 
by  the  guilds  of  Barrowmen.  This  shows  the  backwardness  of 
a  country  which  has  400,000,000  of  people,  and  which  is  but 
beginning  to  develop.  You  can  realize  what  the  trade  of  this 
country  must  necessarily  be. 

And  now,  I  congratulate  myself  that  I  am  speaking  to  a 
Society  inspired  solely  by  patriotism.  Is  it  best  that  we  should 
continue  to  worship  a  fetich,  to  oppose  every  protection  which  we 
owe  to  future  generations  of  unborn  posterity,  when  we  have  the 
opportunity  to  acquire  vantage  points  and  facilities  without  war- 
fare, is  it  wise  that  we  should  throw  it  away?  Should  we  not 
think  of  the  debt  we  owe  to  posterity?  Should  we  not  cease  to 
be  influenced  by  preconceived  convictions  ?  Should  we  not  begin 
to  inquire  earnestly  what  is  good  for  the  nation?  Should  we, 
not  endeavor  to  organize  and  to  instruct  public  opinion  ?  Should 
we,  because  the  masses  have  been  too  busy  to  consider  questions  of 
state — should  we  continue  the  policy  of  laissez-faire  and  allow 
our  opportunities  to  serve  our  people  in  the  future  to  go  agley? 
I  am  sure  there  is  no  American  citizen  who  is  not  just  as  anxious 


262  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

to  promote  the  interests  of  his  Government  as  any  other  citizen. 
All  he  needs  is  to  have  his  attention  turned  in  the  proper  direc- 
tion, to  be  persuaded  to  investigate  for  himself,  and  then  the 
public,  the  American  public,  can  be  safely  trusted  to  be  right 
when  it  has  taken  the  trouble  to  ascertain  the  right.  I  thank 
you.    [Applause.] 

The  band  then  played  "The  Star-Spangled  Banner." 


THE  RESPONSIBILITY  OF  HAVING  ANCESTORS. 

WooDROw  Wilson. 

At  the  seventeenth  annual  dinner  of  the  New  England  Society  in 
Brooklyn,  the  twenty-first  of  December,  1896,  Woodrow  Wilson,  then 
a  professor  in  Princeton  University,  responded  to  this  toast. 

Mr.  President,  Ladies,  and  Gentlemen:  I  am  not  of  your 
blood ;  I  am  not  a  Virginia  Cavalier,  as  Dr.  Hill  [David  J.  HiU] 
has  suggested.  Sometimes  I  wish  I  were;  I  would  have  more 
fun.  I  come,  however,  of  as  good  blood  as  yours;  in  some 
respects  a  better.  Because  the  Scotch-Irish,  though  they  are  just 
as  much  in  earnest  as  you  are,  have  a  little  bit  more  gayety  and 
more  elasticity  than  you  have.  Moreover,  they  are  now  forming 
a  Scotch-Irish  society,  which  will,  as  fast  as  human  affairs  will 
allow,  do  exactly  what  the  New  England  societies  are  doing,  viz. : 
annex  the  universe.  [Laughter.]  We  believe  with  a  sincere 
belief,  we  believe  as  sincerely  as  you  do  the  like,  that  we  really 
made  this  country.  Not  only  that,  but  we  believe  that  we  can 
now,  in  some  sort  of  way,  demonstrate  the  manufacture,  because 
the  country  has  obviously  departed  in  many  respects  from  the 
model  which  you  claim  to  have  set.  Not  only  that,  but  it  seems 
to  me  that  you  yourselves  are  becoming  a  little  recreant  to  the 
traditions  you  yearly  celebrate. 

It  seems  to  me  that  you  are  very  much  in  the  position,  with 
reference  to  your  forefathers,  that  the  little  boy  was  with  refer- 
ence to  his  immediate  father.  The  father  was  a  very  busy  man ; 
he  was  away  at  work  before  the  children  were  up  in  the  morn- 
ing and  did  not  come  home  till  after  they  had  gone  to  bed  at 
night.  One  day  this  little  boy  was  greatly  incensed,  as  he  said, 
"to  be  whipped  by  that  gentleman  that  stays  here  on  Sundays." 
I  do  not  observe  that  you  think  about  your  ancestors  the  rest  of 
the  week;  I  do  not  observe  that  they  are  very  much  present  in 
your  thoughts  at  any  other  time  save  on  Sunday,  and  that  then 

263 


264  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

they  are  most  irritating  to  you.  I  have  known  a  great  many 
men  descended  from  New  England  ancestors  and  I  do  not  feel 
half  so  hardly  toward  my  ancestors  as  they  do  toward  theirs. 
There  is  a  distant  respect  about  the  relationship  which  is  touch- 
ing. There  is  a  feeling  that  these  men  are  well  and  safely  at  a 
distance,  and  that  they  would  be  indulged  under  no  other  cir- 
cumstances whatever;  and  that  the  beauty  of  it  is  to  have 
descended  from  them  and  come  so  far  away. 

Now  there  are  serious  aspects  to  this  subject.  I  believe 
that  one  of  the  responsibilities  of  having  ancestors  is  the  necessity 
of  not  being  ashamed  of  them.  I  believe  if  you  have  had  persons 
of  this  sort  as  your  forefathers  you  must  really  try  to  represent 
them  in  some  sort  of  way.  And  you  must  set  yourselves  off 
against  the  other  elements  of  population  in  this  country.  You 
know  that  we  have  received  very  many  elements  which  have 
nothing  of  the  Puritan  about  them,  which  have  nothing  of  New 
England  about  them ;  and  the  chief  characteristics  of  these  people 
is  that  they  have  broken  all  their  traditions.  The  reason  that 
most  foreigners  come  to  this  country  is  in  order  to  break  their 
traditions,  to  drop  them.  They  come  to  this  country  because 
these  traditions  bind  them  to  an  order  of  society  which  they 
will  no  longer  endure,  and  they  come  to  be  quit  of  them.  You 
yourselves  will  bear  me  witness  that  these  men,  some  of  them, 
stood  us  in  good  stead  upon  a  very  recent  occasion :  in  last  Novem- 
ber. [Applause.  ''Hear!  Hear!"]  We  should  not  at  aJl 
minimize  the  vote  of  the  foreign  born  population  as  against  the 
vote  of  some  of  the  native-born  population  on  the  question  of 
silver  and  gold.  But  you  will  observe  that  there  are  some  things 
that  it  would  be  supposed  would  belong  to  any  tradition.  One 
would  suppose  it  would  belong  to  any  tradition  that  it  was  bet- 
ter to  earn  a  dollar  that  did  not  depreciate,  and  these  men  have 
simply  shown  that  there  are  some  common-sense  elements  which 
are  international  and  not  national. 

One  of  the  particulars  in  which  we  are  drawn  away  from  our 
traditions  is  in  respect  to  the  make-up  and  government  of  society, 
and  it  is  in  that  respect  we  should  retrace  our  steps  and  preserve 
our  traditions;  because  we  are  suffering  ourselves  to  drift  away 


RESPONSIBILITY  OF  HAVING  ANCESTORS       265 

from  the  old  standards,  and  we  say,  with  a  shrug  of  the  shoul- 
ders, that  we  are  not  responsible  for  it ;  that  we  have  not  changed 
the  age,  though  the  age  has  changed  us.  We  feel  very  much  as 
the  Scotchman  did  who  entered  the  fish  market.  His  dog,  being 
inquisitive,  investigated  a  beisket  of  lobsters,  and  while  he  was 
nosing  about  incautiously  one  of  the  lobsters  got  hold  of  his  tail, 
whereupon  he  went  down  the  street  with  the  lobster  as  a  pendant. 
Says  the  man,  *  *  Whustle  for  your  dog,  mon,. "  "  Nay,  nay,  mon, ' ' 
quoth  the  Scotchman.  *'You  whustle  for  your  lobster."  We  are 
very  much  in  the  same  position  with  reference  to  the  age;  we 
say,,  whistle  to  the  age ;  we  cannot  make  it  let  go ;  we  have  got  to 
run.  We  feel  very  much  like  the  little  boy  standing  in  the 
asylum,  standing  by  the  window,  forbidden  to  go  out.  He 
became  contemplative,  and  said :  "If  God  were  dead,  and  there 
were  not  any  rain,  what  fun  orphan  boys  would  have."  We 
feel  very  much  that  way  about  these  New  England  traditions. 
If  God  were  only  dead;  if  it  didn't  rain;  if  the  times  were  only 
good,  what  times  we  would  have. 

The  present  world  is  not  recognizable  when  put  side  by  side 
with  the  world  into  which  the  Puritan  came.  I  am  not  here  to 
urge  a  return  to  the  Puritan  life;  but  have  you  forgotten  that 
the  Puritans  came  into  a  new  world?  The  conditions  under 
which  they  came  were  unprecedented  conditions  to  them.  But 
did  they  forget  the  principles  on  which  they  acted  because  the 
conditions  were  unprecedented?  Did  they  not  discover  new 
applications  for  old  principles  ?  Are  we  to  be  daunted,  therefore, 
because  the  conditions  are  new?  Will  not  old  principles  be 
adaptable  to  new  conditions,  and  is  it  not  our  business  to  adapt 
them  to  new  conditions?  Have  we  lost  the  old  principles  and 
the  old  spirit  ?  Are  we  a  degenerate  people  ?  We  certainly  must 
admit  ourselves  to  be  so  if  we  do  not  follow  the  old  principles  in 
the  new  world,  for  that  is  what  the  Puritans  did. 

Let  me  say  a  very  practical  word.  What  is  the  matter  now  ? 
The  matter  is,  conceal  it  as  we  may,  gloss  it  over  as  we  please, 
that  the  currency  is  in  a  sad  state  of  unsuitability  to  the  con- 
dition of  the  country.  That  is  the  fact  of  the  matter;  nobody 
can  deny  that ;  but  what  are  we  going  to  do  ?    We  are  going  to 


266  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

have  a  new  tariff.  I  have  nothing  to  say  with  regard  to  the 
policy  of  the  tariff  one  way  or  the  other.  "We  have  had  tariffs 
have  we  not,  every  few  years  ever  since  we  were  born ;  and  has 
not  the  farmer  become  discontented  under  these  conditions? 
It  was  the  effort  to  remedy  them  that  produced  the  silver 
movement.  A  new  tariff  may  produce  certain  economic  con- 
ditions; I  do  not  care  a  peppercorn  whether  it  does  or  not,  but 
this  is  a  thing  which  we  have  been  tinkering  and  dickering  with 
time  out  of  mind,  and  in  spite  of  the  tinkering  and  dickering 
this  situation  has  arisen.  Are  we  going  to  cure  it  by  more 
tinkering?  We  are  not  going  to  touch  it  in  this  way.  Now, 
what  are  we  going  to  do?  It  is  neither  here  nor  there  whether 
I  am  a  protectionist,  or  for  a  tariff  for  revenue,  or  whatever  you 
choose  to  call  me.  The  amount  you  collect  In  currency  for 
imports  is  not  going  to  make  any  difference.  The  right  thing 
to  do  is  to  apply  old  principles  to  a  new  condition  and  get  out  of 
that  new  condition  something  that  will  effect  a  practical  remedy. 
I  do  not  pretend  to  be  a  doctor  with  a  nostrum.  I  have  no  pill 
against  an  earthquake.  I  do  not  know  how  this  thing  is  to  be 
done,  but  it  is  not  going  to  be  done  by  having  stomachs  easily 
turned  by  the  truth ;  it  is  not  going  to  be  done  by  merely  blinking 
the  situation.  If  we  blink  the  situation  I  hope  we  shall  have 
no  more  celebrations  in  which  we  talk  about  our  Puritan  ances- 
tors, because  they  did  not  blink  the  situation,  and  it  is  easy  to 
eat  and  be  happy  and  proud.  A  large  number  of  persons  may 
have  square  meals  by  having  a  properly  adjusted  currency. 

We  are  very  much  in  the  condition  described  by  the  reporter 
who  was  describing  the  murder  of  a  certain  gentleman.  He  said 
that  the  murderer  entered  the  house,  and  gave  a  graphic  descrip- 
tion of  the  whole  thing.  He  said  that  fortunately  the  gentleman 
had  put  his  valuables  in  the  safe  deposit  and  lost  only  his  life. 
We  are  in  danger  of  being  equally  wise.  We  are  in  danger  of 
managing  our  policy  so  that  our  property  will  be  put  in  safe 
deposits  and  we  will  lose  only  our  lives.  We  will  make  all  the 
immediate  conditions  of  the  nation  perfectly  safe  and  lose  only 
the  life  of  the  nation.  This  is  not  a  joke,  this  is  a  very  serious 
situation.     I  should  feel  ashamed  to  stand  here  and  not  say 


RESFOxNSIBILITY  OF  HAVING  ANCESTORS       267 

that  this  is  a  subject  which  deserves  your  serious  consideration 
and  ought  to  keep  some  of  you  awake  to-night.  This  is  not  a 
simple  gratulatory  occasion,  this  is  a  place  where  public  duty 
should  be  realized  and  public  purposes  formed,  because  public 
purpose  is  a  thing  for  which  our  Puritan  ancestors  stood,  yours 
and  mine.  If  this  race  should  ever  lose  that  capacity,  if  it 
should  ever  lose  the  sense  of  dignity  in  this  regard,  we  should 
lose  the  great  tradition  of  which  we  pretend  to  be  proud. 
[Applause.] 


THE  DRAMA. 

Arthur  Wing  Pinero. 

At  the  annual  banquet  of  the  Royal  Academy,  London,  May  fourth, 
1895,  Mr.  Pinero  responded  to  this  toast,  which  was  coupled  with  that 
to  Music,  Sir  Alexander  Mackenzie  responding  to  the  latter. 

Your  Royal  Highness,  My  Lords,  and  Gentlemen:  There 
ought  to  be  at  least  one  strong  link  of  sympathy  between  certain 
painters  and  certain  dramatists,  for  in  the  craft  of  painting,  as 
in  that  of  play-writing,  popular  success  is  not  always  held  to  be 
quite  creditable.  Not  very  long  ago  I  met  at  an  exhibition  of 
pictures  a  friend  whose  business  it  is  to  comment  in  the  public 
journals  upon  painting  and  the  drama.  The  exhibition  was 
composed  of  the  works  of  two  artists,  and  I  found  myself  in  one 
room  praising  the  pictures  of  the  man  who  was  exhibiting  in 
the  other.  My  friend  promptly  took  me  to  task.  "Surely,"  said 
he,  **you  noticed  that  two-thirds  of  the  works  in  the  next  room 
are  already  sold?"  I  admitted  having  observed  that  many  of 
the  pictures  were  so  ticketed.  My  friend  shrugged  his  shoulders. 
"But,"  said  I,  anxiously,  "do  you  really  regard  that  circum- 
stance as  reflecting  disparagingly  upon  the  man's  work  in  the 
next  room  ? ' '  His  reply  was,  *  *  Good  work  rarely  selL?. ' '  [Laugh- 
ter.] My  lords  and  gentlemen,  if  the  dictum  laid  flown  by  my 
friend  be  a  sound  one,  I  am  placed  to-night  in  a  situation  of 
some  embarrassment.  For,  in  representing,  as  you  honor  me,  by 
giving  me  leave  to  do,  my  brother  dramatists,  I  confess  I  am  not 
in  the  position  to  deny  that  their  wares  frequently  "sell." 
[Laughter.]  I  might,  of  course,  artfully  plead  in  extenuation 
of  this  condition  of  affairs  that  success  in  such  a  shape  is  the 
very  last  reward  the  dramatist  toils  for,  or  desires ;  that  when  the 
theatre  in  which  his  work  is  presented  is  thronged  nightly  no  one 
is  more  surprised,  more  abashed  than  himself;  that  his  modesty 
is  so  impenetrable,  his  artistic  absorption  so  profound,  that  the 

268 


THE  DRAMA  269 

sound  of  the  voices  of  public  approbation  reduces  him  to  a  state 
of  shame  and  dismay.  [Laughter.]  But  did  I  advance  this  plea, 
I  think  it  would  at  once  be  found  to  be  a  very  shallow  plea.  For 
in  any  department  of  life,  social,  political,  or  artistic,  nothing  is 
more  difficult  than  to  avoid  incurring  the  suspicion  that  you 
mean  to  succeed  in  the  widest  application  of  the  term,  if  you  can. 
If,  therefore,  there  be  any  truth  in  the  assertion  that  *  *  good  work 
rarely  sells,"  it  would  appear  that  I  must,  on  behalf  of  certain 
of  my  brother  dramatists,  either  bow  my  head  in  frank  humilia- 
tion, or  strike  out  some  ingenious  line  of  defense.  [**Hear! 
Hear!"] 

But,  my  lords  and  gentlemen,  I  shall,  with  your  sanction, 
adopt  neither  of  those  expedients.  I  shall  simply  beg  leave  to 
acknowledge  freely,  to  acknowledge  without  a  blush,  that  what 
is  known  as  popular  success  is,  I  believe,  greatly  coveted,  sternly 
fought  for,  by  even  the  most  earnest  of  those  writers  who  deal 
in  the  commodity  labelled  *' modern  British  drama."  And  I 
would,  moreover,  submit  that  of  all  the  affectations  displayed  by 
artists  of  any  craft,  the  affectation  of  despising  the  approval  and 
support  of  the  great  public  is  the  most  mischievous  and  mislead- 
ing. [Cheers.]  Speaking  at  any  rate  of  dramatic  art,  I  believe 
that  its  most  substantial  claim  upon  consideration  rests  in  its 
power  of  legitimately  interesting  a  great  number  of  people.  I 
believe  this  of  any  art;  I  believe  it  especially  of  the  drama. 
Whatever  distinction  the  dramatist  may  attain  in  gaining  the 
attention  of  the  so-called  select  few,  I  believe  that  his  finest  task 
is  that  of  giving  back  to  a  multitude  their  own  thoughts  and 
conceptions,  illuminated,  enlarged,  and  if  needful,  purged,  per- 
fected, transfigured.  The  making  of  a  play  that  shall  be  closelj^ 
observant  in  its  portrayal  of  character,  moral  in  purpose,  dig- 
nified in  expression,  stirri  ig  in  its  development,  yet  not  beyond 
our  possible  experience  of  life ;  a  drama,  the  unfolding  of  whose 
story  shall  be  watched  intently,  responsively,  night  after  night 
by  thousands  of  men  and  women,  necessarily  of  diversified  tem- 
peraments, aims,  and  interests,  men  and  women  of  all  classes 
of  society — surely  the  writing  of  that  drama,  the  weaving  of 
that  complex  fabric  is  one  of  the  most  arduous  of  tasks  which 


270  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

art  has  set  us ;  surely  its  successful  accomplishment  is  one  of  the 
highest  achievements  of  which  an  artist  is  capable. 

I  cannot  claim — it  would  be  immodest  to  make  such  a  claim 
in  speaking  even  of  my  brother  dramatists — I  cannot  claim  that 
the  thorough  achievement  of  such  a  task  is  a  common  one  in  this 
country.  It  is  indeed  a  rare  one  in  any  country.  But  I  can 
claim — I  do  claim  for  my  fellow- workers  that  they  are  not  utterly 
unequal  to  the  demands  made  upon  them,  and  that  of  late  there 
have  been  signs  of  the  growth  of  a  thoughtful,  serious  drama  in 
England.  [**Hear!  Hear!"]  I  venture  to  think,  too,  that  these 
signs  are  not  in  any  sense  exotics ;  I  make  bold  to  say  that  they 
do  not  consist  of  mere  imitations  of  certain  models ;  I  submit  that 
they  are  not  as  a  few  critics  of  limited  outlook  and  exclusive 
enthusiasm  would  have  us  believe — I  submit  that  they  are  not 
mere  echoes  of  foreign  voices.  I  submit  that  the  drama  of  the 
present  day  is  the  natural  outcome  of  our  own  immediate  environ- 
ment, of  the  life  that  closely  surrounds  us.  And,  perhaps,  it 
would  be  only  fair  to  allow  that  the  reproaches  which  have  been 
levelled  for  so  long  a  period  at  the  British  theatre — the  most 
important  of  these  reproaches  being  that  it  possessed  no  drama 
at  all — perhaps,  I  say,  we  may  grant  in  a  spirit  of  charity  that 
these  reproaches  ought  not  to  be  wholly  laid  at  the  door  of  the 
native  playwright.  If  it  be  true  that  he  has  been  in  the  habit 
of  producing  plays  invariably  conventional  in  sentiment,  trite 
in  comedy,  wrought  on  traditional  lines,  inculcating  no  philo- 
sophy, making  no  intellectual  appeal  whatever,  may  it  not  be 
that  the  attitude  of  the  frequenters  of  the  theatre  has  made  it 
hard  for  him  to  do  anything  else  ?  If  he  has  until  lately  evaded 
in  his  theatrical  work  any  attempt  at  a  true  criticism  of  life, 
if  he  has  ignored  the  social,  religious,  and  scientific  problems  of 
the  day,  may  we  not  attribute  this  to  the  fact  that  the  public  have 
not  been  in  the  mood  for  these  elements  of  seriousness  in  their 
theatrical  entertainment,  have  not  demanded  these  special  ele- 
ments of  seriousness  either  in  plays  or  in  novels?  But  during 
recent  years,  the  temper  of  the  times  has  been  changing;  it  is 
now  the  period  of  analysis,  of  general  restless  inquiry,  and  as 
this  spirit  creates  a  demand  for  freer  expression  on  the  part  of 


THE  DRAMA  271 

our  writers  of  books,  so  it  naturally  permits  to  our  writers  of 
plays  a  wider  scope  in  the  selection  of  subject,  and  calls  for 
an  accompanying  effort  of  thought,  a  large  freedom  of  utterance. 

At  this  moment,  perhaps,  the  difficulty  of  the  dramatist  lies 
less  in  paucity  of  subject  than  in  an  almost  embarrassing  wealth  of 
it.  The  life  around  us  teems  with  problems  of  conduct  and 
character,  which  may  be  said  almost  to  cry  aloud  for  dramatic 
treatment,  and  the  temptation  that  besets  the  busy  playwright 
of  an  uneasy,  an  impatient  age,  is  that  in  yielding  himself  to  the 
allurements  of  contemporary  psychology,  he  is  apt  to  forget 
that  fancy  and  romance  have  also  their  immortal  rights  in  the 
drama.  ["Hear!  Hear!"].  But  when  all  is  claimed  for 
romance,  we  must  remember  that  the  laws  of  supply  and  demand 
assert  themselves  in  the  domain  of  dramatic  literature  as  else- 
where. What  the  people,  out  of  the  advancement  of  their  knowl- 
edge, out  of  the  enlightenment  of  modern  education,  want,  they 
will  ask  for;  what  they  demand  they  will  have.  And  at  the 
present  moment  the  English  people  appear  to  be  inclined  to 
grant  to  the  English  dramatist  the  utmost  freedom  to  deal  with 
questions  which  have  long  been  thought  to  be  outside  the  province 
of  the  stage.  I  do  not  deplore,  I  rejoice  that  this  is  so,  and 
I  rejoice  that  to  the  dramatists  of  my  day — ^to  those  at  least 
who  care  to  attempt  to  discharge  it,  falls  the  duty  of  striking 
from  the  limbs  of  English  drama  some  of  its  shackles.  [' '  Hear  I 
Hear  1 "]  I  know  that  the  discharge  of  this  duty  is  attended  by 
one  great,  one  special  peril.  And  in  thinking  particularly  of 
the  younger  generation  of  dramatists,  those  upon  whom  the  imme- 
diate future  of  our  drama  depends,  I  cannot  help  expressing  the 
hope  that  they  will  accept  this  freedom  as  a  privilege  to  be 
jealously  exercised,  a  privilege  to  be  exercised  in  the  spirit 
which  I  have  been  so  presumptuous  as  to  indicate. 

It  would  be  easy  by  a  heedless  employment  of  the  latitude 
allowed  us  to  destroy  its  usefulness,  indeed  to  bring  about  a  reaction 
which  would  deprive  us  of  our  newly  granted  liberty  altogether. 
Upon  this  point  the  young,  the  coming  dramatist  would  perhaps 
do  well  to  ponder ;  he  would  do  well,  I  think,  to  realize  fully  that 
freedom  in  art  must  be  guarded  by  the  eternal  unwritten  laws 


272  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

of  good  taste,  morality,  and  beauty ;  he  would  do  well  to  remem- 
ber always  that  the  real  courage  of  the  artist  is  in  his  capacity 
for  restraint.  [Cheers.]  I  am  deeply  sensible  of  the  honor 
which  has  been  done  me  in  the  association  of  my  name  with  this 
toast,  and  I  ask  your  leave  to  add  one  word — a  word  of  regret 
at  the  absence  to-night  of  my  friend,  Mr.  Toole,  an  absence 
unhappily  occasioned  by  illness  from  which  he  is  but  slowly 
recovering.  Mr.  Toole  charges  me  to  express  his  deep  disap- 
pointment at  being  prevented  from  attending  this  banquet.  He 
does  not,  however,  instruct  me  to  say  what  I  do  say  heartily — 
that  Mr.  Toole  fitly  represents  in  any  assemblage  his  own  par- 
ticular department  of  the  drama;  more  fitly  represents  his 
department  than  I  do  mine.  I  know  of  no  actor  who  stands 
higher  in  the  esteem,  who  exists  more  durably  in  the  affection  of 
those  who  know  him,  than  does  John  Lawrence  Toole. 


OUR  COUNTRYWOMEN. 

John  Hay. 

In  his  Retrospections  of  an  Active  Life,  Mr.  John  Bigelow  says: 
••By  official  proclamation  President  Johnson  set  apart  the  first  Thurs- 
day of  December,  1865,  as  a  day  of  national  thanksgiving.  The 
American  residents  and  visitors  in  Paris  deemed  it  an  occasion  to  be 
celebrated  with  more  than  usual  ceremony.  The  result  was  that  at 
eight  o'clock  on  the  evening  of  the  seventh  of  December  some  two 
hundred  and  fifty-three  of  our  countrymen  sat  down  to  a  dinner  in 
the  spacious  dining-room  of  the  Grand  Hotel  in  Paris,  then  regarded 
by  travelers  as  the  most  elegant  public  dlning-hall  in  Europe. 

"After  a  succession  of  speeches,  the  chairman  closed  the  enter- 
tainment with  a  toast  to  'Our  Countrywomen,'  and  asked  Colonel 
John  Hay,  then  Secretary  of  the  Legation  in  Paris,  to  respond  to  it. 
As  this  was  probably  the  first  public  speech  Mr.  Hay  had  ever  made, 
and  though  nothing  he  then  said  could  possibly  add  any  luster  to  his 
subsequent  career,  it  may  justly  be  said  that  it  was  more  successful 
than  the  first  public  effort  in  oratory  either  of  Sheridan  or  of  Beacons- 
field.    He  replied,  in  part,  as  follows:" 

My  Countrymen — and  I  would  say  my  countrywomen,  but 
that  the  former  word  embraces  the  latter  whenever  opportunity 
offers — I  cannot  understand  why  I  should  have  been  called  upon 
to  respond  to  this  toast  of  all  others,  having  nothing  but  theoreti- 
cal ideas  upon  the  subject  to  be  treated — one,  in  fact,  I  must  be 
presumed  never  to  have  handled.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  I 
have  been  called  up,  too,  by  a  committee  of  married  men.  I  can 
think  of  no  claim  I  have  to  be  considered  an  authority  in  these 
matters,  except  what  might  arise  from  the  fact  of  my  having 
resided  in  early  life  in  the  same  neighborhood  with  Brigham 
Young,  who  has  since  gained  some  reputation  as  a  thorough  and 
practical  ladies'  man.  [Great  laughter.]  I  am  not  conscious, 
however,  of  having  imbibed  any  such  wisdom  at  the  feet  of  this 
matrimonial  Gamaliel  as  should  justly  entitle  me  to  be  heard 
among  the  elders. 

273 


274  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

So  I  am  inevitably  forced  to  the  conclusion  that  these  hus- 
bands cannot  trust  each  other's  discretion.  The  secrets  of  the 
prison-house  are  too  important  to  be  trusted  to  one  of  the  prison- 
ers. So  ignorance  of  the  matter  in  hand  has  come  to  be  held  an 
absolute  prerequisite  when  anyone  is  to  be  sacrificed  to  the 
exigencies  of  this  toast. 

I  really  do  not  see  why  this  should  be  so.  It  is  useless  for 
husbands  to  attempt  to  keep  this  thin  veneering  of  a  semblance 
of  authority.  The  symbols  of  government  they  still  retain  deceive 
nobody.  They  may  comfort  themselves  with  the  assurance  of 
some  vague  invisible  supremacy,  like  that  of  the  spiritual  Mikado 
or  the  Grand  Llama,  but  the  true  Tycoon  is  the  wife.  A  witty 
and  profound  observer  the  other  day  said:  "Every  husband 
doubtless  knows  he  is  master  in  his  own  house,  but  he  also 
knows  his  neighbor's  wife  is  master  in  hers."  [Laughter  and 
cheers.] 

Why  should  not  you,  husbands  of  America,  admit  this  great 
truth  and  give  up  the  barren  scepter?  Things  would  go  much 
easier  if  you  ceased  the  struggle  to  keep  up  appearances.  The 
ladies  will  not  be  hard  on  you.  They  will  recognize  the  fact 
that,  after  all,  you  are  their  fellow-creatures,  and  you  can  be 
very  useful  to  them  in  many  little  ways.  They  will  doubtless 
allow  you  to  pay  their  bills,  take  care  of  their  children,  and 
carry  their  votes  to  the  ballot-box  just  as  you  do  now. 

You  had  better  come  down  gracefully,  and,  above  all,  let  no 
feeling  of  discovered  inferiority  betray  you  in  evil  speaking  of 
the  domestic  powers.  There  have  been  recent  instances  of  dis- 
tinguished gentlemen,  no  doubt  instigated  by  rebellious  husbands, 
who  have  recklessly  accused  these  guardian  angels  of  your  fire- 
sides of  being  extravagant  and  frivolous.  These  things  are  never 
uttered  with  impunity.  I  would  not  insure  the  life  of  one  who 
libels  the  ladies  for  less  than  cent  per  cent. 

"Discite  justitiam  moniti  et  non  temnere  Divas!" 
which,  as  you  may  not  understand  the  backwoods  pronunciation 
of  the  classic  warning,  I  will  translate  with  a  freedom  befitting 
the  day  we  celebrate : 


OUR  COUNTRYWOMEN  275 

'Now,  all  you  happy  husbands. 
Beware  the  rebel's  fate! 
Live  in  obedience  all  your  lives, 
Give  up  your  latch-keys  to  your  wives. 
And  never  stay  out  late." 


[Laughter  and  loud  cheers.] 


"HAIL  COLUMBIA." 

Benjamin  Harrison. 

On  the  eve  of  the  New  Year  which  ushered  in  this  century,  the 
new  building  of  the  Columbia  Club,  a  Republican  organization  of 
Indianapolis,  was  dedicated.  General  Harrison's  was  the  last  name  on 
the  card,  and  he  responded  to  the  toast  "Hail  Columbia." 

My  toast  has  great  scope.  I  do  not  think  of  anything  but 
that  may,  without  glaring  inappropriateness,  be  connected  with 
it.  A  late  speaker  should  always  choose  such  a  toast.  Where 
the  antecedent  orators  are  addicted  to  ranging,  it  is  the  only  way 
to  save  an  untrodden  fence  corner  with  a  few  clumps  of  bunch 
grass — dry  but  nutritious.  I  do  not  speak  of  flowers,  for  I 
foresaw  that  there  would  not  be  enough  left  for  me  to  make  a 
boutonniere,  after  our  Senators  [Fairbanks  and  Beveridge]  and 
Mr.  Griffiths  had  been  heard! 

Columbia  should  have  been  the  name  of  the  western  hem- 
isphere— the  republican  half  of  the  world — ^the  hemisphere  with- 
out a  king  on  the  ground — ^the  reserved  world,  where  God  sent 
the  trodden  spirits  of  men  to  be  revived ;  to  find,  where  all  things 
were  primitive,  man's  primitive  rights. 

Koyal  prerogatives  are  plants  that  require  a  walled  garden, 
that  must  be  defended  from  the  wild,  free  growths  that  crowd 
and  climb  upon  them.  Pomp  and  laced  garments  are  incon- 
gruous in  the  brush.  Danger  and  hardship  are  commoners.  The 
man  in  front  is  the  captain — the  royal  commission  to  the  con- 
trary notwithstanding.  The  platoon  and  volley  firing  by  the 
word  would  not  do — the  open  order,  one  man  to  a  tree,  firing  at 
his  own  will  and  at  a  particular  savage,  was  better.  Out  of  this 
and  like  calls  to  do  things  upon  his  own  initiative,  the  free 
American  was  born.  He  thought  he  might  get  along  with  kings 
and  imperial  parliaments  if  they  were  benevolent,  and  did  and 
allowed  what  he  wished,  but  they  were  forever  doing  their  own 

276 


HAIL  COLUMBIA  277 

pleasure,  as  the  way  of  absolutism  always  is.    And  so  lie  found 
it  necessary  first  to  remonstrate  and  then  to  resist. 

Now  a  remonstrance  implies  an  argument.  The  acts  com- 
plained of  must  be  shown  to  have  infringed  a  right.  At  first  he 
talked  of  English  rights,  but  it  was  not  long  before  he  began 
to  talk  about  human  rights.  The  British  Parliament  was,  under 
British  law,  supreme — could  repeal  the  Magna  Charta.  He 
turned  to  the  Colonial  charters.  Surely  they  were  irrevocable 
grants — but  the  crown  courts  held  otherwise.  What  kings  and 
parliaments  had  given  they  could  take  away.  And  so  our  fathers 
were  driven  to  claim  a  divine  endowment  and  to  allow  it  to 
all  men,  since  God  had  made  all  of  one  blood.  To  write  the 
argument  otherwise  was  to  divest  it  of  its  major  premise.  The 
grand  conclusion — ^no  king  or  parliament  can  rightfully  take 
God's  gift  of  liberty  from  any  man — ^was  thus  riveted  to  the 
eternal  throne  itself.  We  made  for  our  convenience  an  excep- 
tion in  the  case  of  the  black  man ;  but  God  erased  it  with  a  sponge 
dipped  in  the  white  man's  blood. 

This  divine  law  of  individual  liberty  allows  the  restraints 
that  are  necessary  for  the  general  good,  but  it  does  not  allow 
either  man  or  a  civil  community  to  exploit  for  selfish  gain 
another  man  or  another  community. 

The  so-called  Anglo-Saxon — and  especially  the  American 
branch  of  that  great  family — should  reverently  and  humbly 
thank  God  for  the  pre-eminent  power  and  influence  he  has  given 
to  it ;  for  organized  freedom  and  for  astounding  wealth.  Verily, 
He  hath  not  dealt  so  with  any  other  people.  The  gifts  of  wealth 
and  power,  whether  to  man  or  nation,  are,  however,  to  be  soberly 
taken  and  wisely  used. 

I  estimate  the  gift  of  the  governing  faculty  to  be  Good's 
greatest  gift  to  the  Anglo-Saxon,  and  in  the  Constitution  of  the 
United  States,  with  its  division  of  powers,  its  limitations  upon 
the  governing  departments  and  its  sublime  reservations  in  the 
interests  of  individual  liberty,  I  see  the  highest  achievement  of 
that  most  rare  faculty. 

I  have  no  argument  to  make,  here  or  anywhere,  against  ter- 
ritorial expansion,  but  I  do  not,  as  some  do,  look  to  expansion  as 


278  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

the  safest  or  most  attractive  avenue  of  national  development.  By 
the  advantages  of  abundant  and  cheap  coal  and  iron,  of  an 
enormous  surplus  of  food  products,  and  of  invention  and  economy 
in  production,  we  are  now  leading  by  a  nose  the  original  and  the 
greatest  of  the  colonizing  nations.  Australia  and  New  Zealand 
loyally  send  their  contingents  to  South  Africa — ^but  Great 
Britain  cannot  hold  the  trade  of  her  colonies  against  American 
offerings  of  a  better  or  cheaper  product.  The  Central  and  South 
American  states  were  assured  of  our  purpose  not  only  to  respect, 
but  to  defend,  their  autonomy,  and  finding  the  peace  and  social 
order  which  a  closer  and  larger  commercial  intercourse  with  the 
world  will  bring,  offer  to  our  commerce  a  field  the  full  develop- 
ment of  which  will  realize  the  El  Dorado.  Hail  to  Columbia,  the 
home  of  the  free,  and  from  which  only  freedom  can  go  out ! 

The  tune  of  "Hail  Columbia"  has  for  me  some  unpleasant 
associations.  Before  we  started  on  the  Atlanta  campaign  it  was 
proclaimed  in  orders  from  division  headquarters  that  the  first 
strain  of  **Hail  Columbia"  should  be  the  call  of  the  First 
Brigade.  And  so  it  became  associated  with  falling  tents  and  wet 
and  weary  marches.  When,  after  much  marching  and  some 
fighting,  we  had  spread  the  scant  canvas  allowed  us ;  had  rinsed 
our  only,  or  our  extra  shirt,  and  hung  it  out,  with  our  wet  blan- 
kets, to  dry;  had  found  the  most  adaptable  concaves  of  a  bed 
of  poles;  had  just  received  the  infrequent  mail  from  the  hands 
of  our  faithful  chaplain,  and  were  deep  in  the  long-distance 
newspaper  account  of  what  we  had  done  and  were  about  to  do — 
from  some  near  hilltop  the  first  strain  of  **Hail  Columbia"  rang 
out,  and  the  temptation  to  substitute  another  spelling  of  the 
first  word,  or  at  least  to  shorten  the  sound  of  the  "a,"  was 
irresistible.  The  ** general"  came  next,  and  after  an  interval, 
just  long  enough  for  the  resumption  of  the  wet  shirt  and  the 
rolling  of  the  blankets,  the  ** assembly,"  and  quickly  afterwards, 
**to  the  colors."  When  we  were  in  line,  **Hail  Columbia"  had 
done  its  dreadful  work,  demolished  a  camp  and  scattered  among 
its  unsightly  debris  the  fragments  of  a  broken  commandment. 
Then  for  the  first  time  a  human  control  of  this  diabolical  enginery 
appeared  in  the  shape  of  an  orderly  with  a  long  white  envelope 


HAIL  COLUMBIA  279 

stuck  in  the  belt  that  supported  his  bloodless  saber.  Now,  I  like 
to  know  where  I  am  going  before  I  pack  my  trunk.  Is  it  strange 
that  I  still  feel  the  impulse  to  reach  for  my  overcoat  when  I  hear 
"Hail  Columbia"? 

And  now,  hail  to  the  Columbia  Club — an  association  of  loyal, 
liberal-minded  Republicans — organized,  not  to  control  primarfas 
or  to  divide  the  spoils  of  office,  but  to  maintain  the  ascendency  of 
Republican  principles  and  to  promote  friendliness  and  good  will 
among  its  members.  I  recall  the  occasion  and  the  circumstances 
of  your  organization,  and  the  ardent  readiness  with  which  you 
on  every  occasion  rendered  honor  and  service  to  me  as  the  party's 
candidate,  and  as  your  neighbor.  These  things  abide  in  my 
memory ;  they  are  stored  where  no  vicissitudes  of  life  can  disturb 
them.  But  they  are  more  than  mere  pleasant  reminiscences.  They 
are  bonds  of  friendship  and  inspirations  to  duty. 

The  decapitation  of  the  ex-President,  when  the  oath  of  office 
has  been  administered  to  his  successor,  would  greatly  vivify  a 
somewhat  tiresome  ceremonial.  And  we  may  some  time  solve 
the  newspaper  problem,  what  to  do  with  our  ex-Presidents,  in 
that  conclusive  way.  Until  then  I  hope  an  ex-President  may  be 
permitted  to  live  somewhere  midway  between  the  house  of  the 
gossip  and  the  crypt  of  the  mummy.  He  will  know,  perhaps, 
in  an  especial  way,  how  to  show  the  highest  honor  to  the  presi- 
dential office,  and  the  most  courteous  deference  to  the  President. 
Upon  great  questions,  however — especially  upon  questions  of 
constitutional  law — you  must  give  an  ex-President  his  freedom 
or  an  ax — and  it  is  too  late  give  me  the  ax. 

Any  Democratic  friends  who  may  share  your  hospitality 
to-night  will  pardon  me  for  saying  to  any  of  them  who  have 
cast  beguiling  looks  towards  me,  that  the  Democratic  party  has 
never  been  less  attractive  than  now.  No  plan  of  reorganization 
suggests  itself  to  me  except  that  suggested  by  a  waggish  lieu- 
tenant of  my  regiment  to  a  captain  whose  platoons  were  inverted. 
He  said,  *  *  Captain,  if  I  were  in  your  place,  I  would  break  ranks 
and  have  the  orderly  call  the  roll."  Perhaps  even  this  hopeful 
programme  may  fail  for  an  inability  to  agree  as  to  the  roll  and 
as  to  the  orderly. 


280  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

Gentlemen  of  the  Columbia  Club,  I  congratulate  you  upon 
the  opening  of  this  magnificent  clubhouse  and  thank  you  with  a 
full  heart  for  your  many  acts  of  kindness. 


LITERATURE. 

James  Russell  Lowell. 

When  Sir  Henry  Irving  was  to  leave  England  for  a  professional 
tour  of  America  in  1883,  a  banquet  was  given  to  him  on  July  fourth, 
In  London.  Lord  Chief  Justice  Coleridge  occupied  the  chair.  Vis- 
count Bury  proposed  the  toast  Literature,  Science  and  Art,  Mr. 
Lowell  responding  for  Literature,  Professor  Tyndall  for  Science,  and 
Alma  Tadema  for  Art. 

My  Lord  Coleridge,  My  Lords,  Ladies  and  (Gentlemen:  I 
confess  that  my  mind  was  a  little  relieved  when  I  found  that 
the  toast  to  which  I  am  to  respond  rolled  three  gentlemen, 
Cerberus-like  into  one  [laughter],  and  when  I  saw  Science  pull- 
ing impatiently  at  the  leash  on  my  left,  and  Art  on  my  right,  and 
that  therefore  the  responsibility  of  only  a  third  part  of  the 
acknowledgment  has  fallen  to  me.  You,  my  lord,  have  alluded 
to  the  difficulties  of  after-dinner  oratory.  I  must  say  that  I  am 
one  of  those  who  feel  them  more  keenly  the  more  after-dinner 
speeches  I  make.  [Laughter.]  There  are  a  great  many  diffi- 
culties in  the  way,  and  there  are  three  principal  ones,  I  think. 
The  first  is  the  having  too  much  to  say,  so  that  the  words,  hur- 
rying to  escape,  bear  down  and  trample  out  the  life  of  each  other. 
The  second  is  when,  having  nothing  to  say,  we  are  expected  to 
fill  a  void  in  the  minds  of  our  hearers.  And  I  think  the  third, 
and  most  formidable,  is  the  necessity  of  following  a  speaker  who 
is  sure  to  say  all  the  things  you  meant  to  say,  and  better  than 
you,  so  that  we  are  tempted  to  exclaim,  with  the  old  grammarian, 
**Hang  these  fellows,  who  have  said  all  our  good  things  before 
us ! "    [Laughter.] 

Now  the  fourth  of  July  has  several  times  been  alluded  to, 
and  I  believe  it  is  generally  thought  that  on  that  anniversary 
the  spirit  of  a  certain  bird  known  to  heraldic  ornithologists — and 
I  believe  to  them  alone — as  the  spread  eagle,  enters  into  every 
American's  breast,  and  compels  him,  whether  he  will  or  no,  to 

281 


282  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

pour  forth  a  flood  of  national  self-laudation.  [Laughter  and 
cheers.]  This,  I  say,  is  the  general  superstition,  and  I  hope  that 
a  few  words  of  mine  may  serve  in  some  sort  to  correct  it.  I  ask 
you,  if  there  is  any  other  people  who  have  confined  their  national 
self-laudation  to  one  day  in  the  year.  [Laughter.]  I  may  be 
allowed  to  make  one  remark  as  to  a  personal  experience.  For- 
tune has  willed  it  that  I  should  see  as  many — perhaps  more — 
cities  and  manners  of  men  as  Ulysses ;  and  I  have  observed  one 
general  fact,  and  that  is  that  the  adjectival  epithet  which  is 
prefixed  to  all  the  virtues  is  invariably  the  epithet  which  geo- 
graphically describes  the  country  that  I  am  in.  For  instance, 
not  to  take  any  real  name,  if  I  am  in  the  kingdom  of  Lilliput,  I 
hear  of  the  Lilliputian  virtues.  I  hear  courage,  I  hear  common 
sense,  and  I  hear  political  wisdom  called  by  that  name.  If  I 
cross  to  the  neighboring  Republic  Blefusca — for  since  Swift's 
time  it  has  become  a  Republic — I  hear  all  those  virtues  suddenly 
qualified  as  Blefuscan.    [Laughter.] 

I  am  very  glad  to  be  able  to  thank  Lord  Coleridge  for  having, 
I  believe  for  the  first  time,  coupled  the  name  of  the  President 
of  the  United  States  with  that  of  her  Majesty  on  an  occasion  like 
this.  I  was  struck,  both  in  what  he  said,  and  in  what  our  dis- 
tinguished guest  of  this  evening  said,  with  the  frequent  recur- 
rence of  an  adjective  which  is  comparatively  new — I  mean  the 
word  "English-speaking."  We  continually  hear  nowadays  of 
the  "English-speaking  race,"  of  the  "English-speaking  popula- 
tion." I  think  this  implies  not  that  we  are  to  forget,  not  that  it 
would  be  well  for  us  to  forget,  that  national  emulation  and  that 
national  pride  which  is  implied  in  the  words  "Englishman"  and 
"American,"  but  the  word  implies  that  there  are  certain  peren- 
nial and  abiding  sympathies  between  all  men  of  a  common  descent 
and  a  common  language.  [Cheers.]  I  am  sure,  my  lord,  that  all 
you  said  with  regard  to  the  welcome  which  our  distinguished 
guest  will  receive  in  America  is  true.  His  eminent  talents  as  an 
actor,  the  dignified — I  may  say  the  illustrious — manner  in  which 
he  has  sustained  the  traditions  of  that  succession  of  great  actors, 
who,  from  the  time  of  Burbage  to  his  own,  have  illustrated  the 


LITERATURE  283 

English  stage,  will  be  as  highly  appreciated  there  as  here. 
[Cheers.] 

And  I  am  sure  that  I  may  also  say  that  the  chief  magistrate 
of  England  will  be  welcomed  by  the  bar  of  the  United  States, 
of  which  I  am  an  unworthy  member,  and  perhaps  will  be  all  the 
more  warmly  welcomed  that  he  does  not  come  among  them  to 
practice.  He  will  find  American  law  administered — and  I  think 
he  will  agree  with  me  in  saying  ably  administered — ^by  judges 
who,  I  am  sorry  to  say,  sit  without  the  traditional  wig  of  Eng- 
land. [Laughter.]  I  have  heard  since  I  came  here  friends  of 
mine  gravely  lament  this  as  something  prophetic  of  the  decay 
which  was  sure  to  follow  so  serious  an  innovation.  I  answered 
with  a  little  story  which  I  remember  hearing  from  my  father. 
He  remembered  the  last  clergyman  in  New  England  who  still 
continued  to  wear  the  wig.  At  first  it  became  a  singularity  and 
at  last  a  monstrosity;  and  the  good  doctor  concluded  to  leave 
it  off.  But  there  was  one  poor  woman  among  his  parishioners 
who  lamented  this  sadly,  and  waylaying  the  clergyman  as  he 
came  out  of  church  she  said,  "Oh,  dear  doctor,  I  have  always 
listened  to  your  sermon  with  the  greatest  edification  and  com- 
fort, but  now  that  the  wig  is  gone  all  is  gone."  [Laughter.]  I 
have  thought  I  have  seen  some  signs  of  encouragement  in  the 
faces  of  my  English  friends  after  I  have  consoled  them  with  this 
little  story. 

But  I  must  not  allow  myself  to  indulge  in  any  further  remarks. 
There  is  one  virtue,  I  am  sure,  in  after-dinner  oratory,  and  that  is 
brevity;  and  as  to  that  I  am  reminded  of  a  story.  The  Lord 
Chief  Justice  has  told  you  what  are  the  ingredients  of  after- 
dinner  oratory.  They  are  the  joke,  the  quotation,  and  the 
platitude ;  and  the  successful  platitude,  in  my  judgment,  requires 
a  very  high  order  of  genius.  I  believe  that  I  have  not  given  you 
a  quotation,  but  I  am  reminded  of  something  which  I  heard 
when  very  young — the  story  of  a  Methodist  clergyman  in  America. 
He  was  preaching  at  a  camp  meeting,  and  he  was  preaching 
upon  the  miracle  of  Joshua,  and  he  began  his  sermon  with  this 
sentence:    "My  hearers,  there  are  three  motions  of  the  sun. 


284  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

The  first  is  the  straightforward  or  direct  motion  of  the  sun ;  the 
second  is  the  retrograde  or  backward  motion  of  the  sun;  and 
the  third  is  the  motion  mentioned  in  our  text — 'the  sun  stood 
stiU.'"     [Laughter.] 

Now  gentlemen,  I  don 't  know  whether  you  see  the  application 
of  this  story — I  hope  you  do.  The  after-dinner  orator  at  first 
begins  and  goes  straight  ahead — that  is  the  straightforward  motion 
of  the  sun.  Next  he  goes  back  and  begins  to  repeat  himself — 
that  is  the  backward  motion  of  the  sun.  At  last  he  has  the  good 
sense  to  bring  himself  to  the  end,  and  that  is  the  motion  men- 
tioned in  our  text,  as  the  sun  stood  still.    [Great  laughter.] 


HARVARD  COMMENCEMENT,  1885. 

Joseph  H.  Choate. 

On  June  twenty-fourth,  1885,  Mr.  Choate  presided  at  the  gathering 
of  Harvard  alumni  to  welcome  James  Russell  Lowell,  who  was  re- 
turning from  the  Ambassadorship  to  England  after  a  continued 
absence  of  eight  years  in  the  diplomatic  service.  Mr.  Lowell  was  the 
most  distinguished  living  graduate  of  Harvard,  and  on  this  occasion 
many  of  his  most  eminent  fellows  assembled  to  greet  him.  After  an 
interval  of  years,  Mr.  Choate  succeeded  him  as  Ambassador  at  the 
English  post.  The  occasion  referred  to  by  Mr.  Choate  in  the  first 
paragraph  of  this  address,  when  there  was  a  promise  of  conflict,  was 
the  Harvard  Commencement  of  1883,  when  General  Butler,  Governor 
of  Massachusetts,  was  refused  the  degree  of  Doctor  of  Laws,  which 
it  was  the  custom  of  the  Board  of  Overseers  to  confer  on  the  Governor 
of  the  State.  The  Governor  attended  the  exercises,  and  it  was  thought 
that  he  might  retaliate  in  his  address  the  slight  that  was  put  upon 
him.  Mr.  Choate  made  a  conciliatory  speech,  and  General  Butler 
made  an  equally  friendly  reply,  which,  he  afterwards  admitted,  he 
had  not  intended  doing. 

Now  that  you  have  banqueted  upon  these  more  substantial 
dainties,  which  the  Delmonico  of  Harvard  has  provided,  I  invite 
you  to  partake  of  the  more  delicate  diet  of  tongues  and  sounds — 
the  favorite  dish  at  every  Harvard  dinner — where,  of  course, 
every  alumnus  expects  to  get  his  desert.  We  have  assembled  for 
the  two  hundred  and  forty-ninth  time  to  pay  our  vows  at  the 
shrine  of  our  alma  mater,  to  revel  in  the  delights  of  mutual 
admiration,  and  to  welcome  to  the  commencement  of  actual  life 
one  hundred  and  seventy-five  new  brethren  that  our  mother  has 
brought  for  to-day.  [Laughter.]  Gentlemen,  it  is  your  great 
misfortune,  and  not  a  little  to  my  embarrassment,  that  I  have 
been  called  upon  on  two  occasions  to  stand  here  in  the  place  of 
the  president  of  your  choice,  and  to  fill  the  shoes  of  a  better 
man,  and  if  I  shuffle  awkwardly  about  in  them,  you  will  remem- 
ber that  they  are  several  sizes  too  large  for  me,  and  with  higher 
heels  than  I  am  accustomed  to  wear.    [Laughter.]    On  a  former 

285 


286  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

occasion,  in  view  of  the  incompatibility  of  sentiment  among 
authorities  [laughter],  I  did  what  I  might  to  stem  the  tide  of 
seemingly  irrepressible  conflict,  and,  by  your  counsel  and  aid, 
with  apparent  success.  "Grim  visaged  war"  did  smooth  "his 
wrinkled  front,"  and  peace  and  harmony  prevailed  where  blood 
had  threatened.    [Laughter.] 

But  how,  gentlemen,  can  I  hope  to  fill  your  expectations 
to-day,  when  you  have  justly  counted  upon  the  most  popular 
of  all  your  divines  and  the  most  fervent  of  all  your  orators, 
who  should  now  be  leading  your  counsels  here?  But  Phillips 
Brooks,  having  long  ago  mastered  all  hearts  at  home,  has  gone 
abroad  in  search  of  new  conquests.  [Applause.]  When  last 
heard  from  he  was  doing  well  in  very  kindred  company;  for 
he  was  breakfasting  with  Galdstone,  the  statesman  whose  defeat 
is  mighty  as  victory  [applause]  ;  the  scholar  and  the  orator, 
who  would  exchange  for  no  title  in  the  royal  gift  the  lustre 
of  his  own  great  name.  [Applause.]  But  I  have  no  fears  for 
the  success  of  this  occasion,  notwithstanding  the  absence  that 
we  deplore,  when  I  look  around  these  tables  and  see  who  still 
are  here. 

In  the  first  place,  you  are  all  here  [laughter  and  applause], 
and  when  the  sons  of  Harvard  are  all  together,  basking  in  the 
sunshine  of  each  other's  countenance,  what  need  is  there  for 
the  sun  to  shine? 

And  then.  President  Eliot  is  here.  [Applause.]  I  remem- 
ber that,  sixteen  years  ago,  we  gave  him  his  first  welcome  to 
the  seat  which  had  previously  been  occupied  by  Quincy,  Everett, 
Sparks,  Felton,  and  Walker,  and  to-day,  in  your  names,  I  may 
thank  him  that  he  has  more  than  redeemed  the  pride  and 
promise  of  his  earlier  days.  While  it  cannot  exactly  be  said 
that  he  found  Harvard  of  brick  and  left  it  marble,  it  can  truly 
be  said  that  he  found  it  a  college  and  has  already  made  it  a 
university  [applause] ,  and  let  us  all  hope  that  his  faithful  reign 
over  us  may  continue  as  long  as  he  has  the  strength  and  the 
courage  to  carry  on  the  good  work  that  he  has  in  hand. 

And  then,  the  Governor  of  the  Commonwealth  is  here 
[applause],  always  a  most  honored  guest  among  the  alumni  of 


HARVARD  COMMENCEMENT,  1885  287 

Harvard.  [Applause.]  Governor  Winthrop  attended  our  first 
commencement,  and  I  believe  that  all  the  Governors  in  unbroken 
succession  have  followed  his  example. 

To-day,  too,  we  are  honored  with  the  presence  of  the  Vice- 
President  of  the  United  States*  [applause],  and  now  that  Har- 
vard has  assumed  national  proportions,  what  can  be  more 
fitting  than  that  we  should  welcome  to  our  board  one  of  the 
chief  representatives  of  the  national  government?  He  comes 
to  us  fresh  from  Yale,  and  if  we  may  believe  the  morning 
papers — a  very  large  if,  I  admit — ^if  we  may  believe  those 
veracious  journals,  the  eminent  Vice-President  yesterday  at 
New  Haven  gave  utterance  to  two  brief  and  pithy  sentiments, 
one  of  which  we  shall  accept  with  absolute,  unqualified  applause, 
and  the  other  of  which  we  must  receive,  if  at  all,  with  a  modi- 
fication. **Yale,"  said  he,  in  short  and  sententious  words,  which 
are  the  essence  of  great  men,  and  which  we  are  all  so  fond  of 
hearing  and  reporting,  "Yale,"  said  he,  **is  everywhere."  Gen- 
tlemen, I  would  say  with  this  modification,  yes,  Yale  is  every- 
where, but  she  always  finds  Harvard  there  before  her. 
[Applause.]  Gentlemen,  the  rudeness  of  your  manner  broke 
off  my  sentence  [laughter] — she  always  finds  Harvard  there 
before  her,  or  close  alongside  or  very  closely  in  her  rear;  and 
let  us  hope  that  her  boys  at  New  London  to-morrow  will  demon- 
strate the  truth  of  that.  [Applause.]  The  other  sentiment 
that  he  uttered,  and  that  which  needs  no  qualification,  is  that 
public  office  is  a  public  trust.  [Applause.]  Gentlemen,  in  say- 
ing that,  he  stole  Harvard  thunder.  That  has  been  her  doctrine 
since  the  days  of  John  Adams ;  and  I  am  sure  that  you  must  be 
perfectly  delighted  to  hear  from  this  eminent  man  that  old 
doctrine  of  ours  reinforced. 

But,  gentlemen,  better  than  all  the  rest,  once  more  at  home 
in  his  old  place  among  us  again  is  James  Russell  Lowell. 
[Applause.  All  rose  for  three  cheers  and  nine  **rahs."]  Eight 
years  ago  he  left  us  for  the  public  service.  Men  who  did  not 
know  him  wondered  how  poetry  and  diplomacy  would  work 
together,  poetry,  the  science  of  all  truth,  and  diplomacy,  that 

*  Thomas  A.  Hendricks. 


288  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

is  sometimes  thought  to  be  not  quite  so  true.  Well,  if  you  will 
allow  me,  I  will  explain  his  triumphs  abroad  by  a  wise  saying  of 
Goethe's,  the  fitness  of  which  I  think  you  will  recognize. 
"Poetry,"  said  he,  "belongs  not  to  the  noble  nor  to  the  people, 
neither  to  the  king  nor  to  the  peasant;  it  is  the  offspring  of  a 
true  man."  It  is  not  because  of  the  laurels  that  were  heaped 
upon  him  abroad,  not  because  he  commanded  new  honor  for 
the  American  scholar  and  the  American  people,  and  not  because 
his  name  will  henceforth  be  a  new  bond  of  union  between  the 
two  countries ;  but  we  learned  to  love  him  before  he  went  away, 
because  we  knew  that  from  the  beginning  he  had  been  the  fear- 
less champion  of  truth  and  of  freedom,  and  during  every  year 
of  his  absence,  we  have  loved  him  the  more.  So,  in  your  names, 
I  bid  him  a  cordial  welcome  home  again.     [Applause.] 

You  will  be  pleased  to  hear  that  Dr.  Holmes  [applause]  has 
been  inspired  by  this  interesting  feature  of  the  occasion  to 
mount  his  Pegasus  once  more  and  ride  out  to  Cambridge  upon  his 
back ;  and  soon  you  will  hear  him  strike  his  lyre  again  in  praise 
of  his  younger  brother.  [Applause.]  But  these  are  not  all 
the  treasures  that  are  in  store  for  you.  Dr.  James  Freeman 
Clarke,  after  twenty-five  years  of  continuous  service  on  the 
Board  of  Overseers,  from  which  he  now  retires  by  the  edict  of 
the  Constitution,  will  tell  you  frankly  what  he  thinks  about  you 
and  about  them.  And  then,  to  the  Class  of  1835,  on  the  fiftieth 
year  of  its  graduation,  the  crowning  honors  of  this  day  belong, 
and  I  am  pleased  to  say  that  their  chosen  spokesman,  although 
pretending  to  be  for  the  moment  an  invalid — he  wrote  to  me 
that  he  was  no  better  than  he  should  be  [laughter] — ^he  is  here 
to  speak  for  them.  For  us  who  have  been  coming  up  to  Cam- 
bridge for  the  last  thirty  years,  I  would  like  to  know  what 
Harvard  commencement  without  Judge  Hoar  would  be.  Who 
can  forget  the  quips  and  cranks  and  wanton  wiles  with  which 
he  has  beguiled  many  an  hour  that  promised  to  be  dull;  and 
how  he  has,  I  will  not  say  sobered,  but  dimmed  some  of  our 
lighter  moments  by  words  of  wisdom  and  power.  So,  in  your 
name  I  say:  "Long  life  and  a  green  old  age  to  Judge  Hoar, 
and  all  the  members  of  the  class  of  1835."     [Applause.] 


HARVARD  COMMENCEMENT,  1885  289 

Then,  gentlemen,  all  these  new  doctors  of  law — why,  Harvard, 
returning  to  an  ancient  custom,  has  been  selecting  them  from 
her  own  sons,  and  to-day  it  may  truly  be  said  that  the  Univer- 
sity has  been  growing  rich  and  strong  hy  degrees.  [Laughter.] 
You  will  be  glad  to  hear  all  of  them  speak  for  themselves.  Of 
one  of  them,  Dr.  Carter,  I  will  say  from  intimate  knowledge, 
that  he  leads  us  gallantly  at  the  bar  of  New  York,  and  all  his 
associates  rejoice  in  his  leadership.  He  has  recently  rendered 
a  signal  service  to  the  jurisprudence  of  that  great  State  by 
contributing  more  than  any  other  man  to  the  defeat  of  a  code 
which  threatened  to  involve  all  the  settled  law  of  that  com- 
munity in  confusion  and  contempt. 

And  now,  as  I  have  told  you  who  are  to  speak  to  you,  I 
should  sit  down.  I  believe,  however,  it  is  usual  for  the  presid- 
ing officer  to  recall  any  startling  events  in  the  history  of  the 
college.  Gentlemen,  there  have  been  none.  The  petition  of  the 
undergraduates  for  what  they  call  a  fuller  civil  and  religious 
liberty,  in  being  relieved  from  compulsory  attendance  on  morn- 
ing prayers,  was  denied.  The  answer  of  the  overseers  was  well 
conceived — that,  in  obedience  to  the  settled  rules  and  regula- 
tions of  the  college,  of  which  that  was  one,  they  would  find  an 
all-sufficient  liberty.  That  idea  was  not  original  with  them; 
they  borrowed  it  from  Mr.  Lowell,  when  he  said  and  sung  in 
his  sonnet  upon  the  reformers — 

Who  yet  have  not  the  one  great  lesson  learned. 

That  grows  in  leaves. 

Tides  in  the  mighty  seas, 
And  in  the  stars  eternally  hath  burned. 

That  only  full  obedience  is  free. 

The  only  other  incident  in  the  history  of  the  year  is  the  suc- 
cessful effort  that  has  been  made  in  searching  out  the  history 
of  John  Harvard,  and  about  that  the  president  of  the  college 
will  tell  you  in  good  time,  who  he  was,  whence  he  came,  and 
where  he  got  the  fortune  and  the  library  which  he  contributed 
along  with  his  melodious  name  to  the  college.  He  gave  half  of 
all  he  had,  gentlemen,  and  out  of  that  modest  fountain  what 
vast  results  have  flowed.     May  no  red-handed  vandal  of  an 


AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

undergraduate  ever  desecrate  his  statue  that  stands  at  the  head 
of  the  Delta.     [Applause.] 

And  now,  brethren,  would  you  have  your  statue  crowned? 
Would  you,  too,  become  immortal?  Would  you  identify  your 
names  with  the  glory  of  the  college?  The  way  is  open  and 
easy.  Follow  exactly  the  example  of  the  founder.  Give  one 
equal  half  of  all  you  are  worth  to  the  college,  and  if  you  wish  to 
enjoy  your  own  immortality,  do  it  to-morrow  while  you  are  yet 
alive.  [Applause.]  If  you  shrink  from  that,  die  at  once  and 
give  it  to  them  now.  [Applause.]  Other  people  possibly  will 
rise  up  and  call  you  blessed,  whatever  your  own  may  do  [laugh- 
ter] ;  so  you  will  relieve  the  president  of  more  than  half  the 
labors  of  his  office. 

I  did  want  to  say  a  word  about  another  matter — ^the  elective 
system — ^but  President  Eliot  tells  me  I  had  better  not.  He  says 
that  the  Board  of  Overseers  of  the  college,  are  incubating  on 
that  question  and  that  there  is  no  telling  what  they  may  hatch 
out.  Now,  don't  let  us  disturb  them,  gentlemen,  at  any  rate, 
while  they  are  on  the  nest.  We  might  crack  the  shell,  and  then 
the  whole  work  would  have  to  be  done  over  again.  But,  as  you 
now  seem  to  be  in  good  mood,  let  me  say  one  single  word  about 
this  elective  system.  I  don't  care  how  they  settle  it.  I  hope 
they  will  give  us  the  means  of  sustaining  and  fortifying  their 
decision  when  they  make  it.  We  alumni  at  a  distance  from  the 
college  are  often  stung  to  indignation  by  the  attacks  that  are 
made  upon  us  by  the  representatives  of  other  colleges.  One 
would  think,  by  the  way  they  talk  down  there  at  Princeton 
that  Harvard  was  going  to  the  everlasting  bow-wows;  that  the 
fountains  of  learning  were  being  undermined  and  broken  up; 
that,  as  Mr.  Lowell  again  said: 

The  Anglo-Saxondom's  idee's  breakln'  'em  to  pieces, 

And  that  idee's  thet  every  mon  doos  Jest  wut  he  damn  pleases. 

I  suppose  the  truth  about  the  elective  system  is  that  the 
world  moves  on  and  colleges  move  with  it.  In  Cotton  Mather's 
time,  when  he  said  that  the  sole  object  of  the  foundation  of  a 
college  was  to  furnish  a  good  supply  of  godly  ministers  for  the 


HARVARD  COMMENCEMENT,  1885  291 

churches,  it  was  well  enough  to  feed  them  on  Latin  and  Greek 
only.  Now  that  young  men  when  they  go  out  into  the  world 
have  everything  to  do  about  taking  part  in  all  the  activities  of 
life,  for  one,  I  say  let  them  have  the  chance  to  learn  here  any- 
thing that  they  can  possibly  wish  to.  [Applause.]  And  I  hope 
that  our  President  will  persevere  in  one  direction  at  least,  until 
he  can  say  truly  that  whatever  is  worth  learning  can  be  taught 
well  at  Harvard.  This  is  well  expressed  again  in  an  idea  of 
Mr.  Lowell's,  who  always  has  ideas  enough,  if  divided,  to  go 
around  even  among  us: 

New  occasions  teach  new  duties; 
Time  makes  ancient  good  uncouth; 
They  must  upward  still,  and  onward. 
Who  would  keep  abreast  of  truth. 

I  hope  you  will  be  very  patient  with  all  the  other  speakers. 
I  advise  them,  as  the  hour  is  late  and  the  afternoon  is  short  and 
there  are  a  great  many  of  them  in  number,  each  to  put  a  good 
deal  of  shortening  in  his  cake,  which  I  have  omitted.  This  is  a 
rule  that  never  is  applied  to  the  presiding  officer,  and  I  am 
afraid  it  never  will  be.    [Applause.] 


THE  CRITIC  OF  LITERATURE. 

Leslie  Stephen. 

This  Is  an  example  of  the  Royal  Academy  type  of  toast.  Mr. 
Stephen  responded  to  "Literature"  at  the  annual  banquet  of  the 
Academy  In  London,  April  twenty-ninth,  1893.  Sir  Frederic  Leighton, 
presiding,  spoke  of  literature  as  "that  in  which  is  garnered  up  the 
beat  that  feeds  the  spiritual  life  of  men." 

Mr.  President,  Your  Royal  Highness,  My  Lords,  and  Gentle- 
men: When  a  poet  or  a  great  imaginative  writer  has  to  speak 
in  this  assembly  he  speaks  as  to  brethren-in-arms,  to  persons 
with  congenial  tastes  and  with  mutual  sympathies,  but  when, 
instead  of  the  creative  writer,  the  Academy  asks  a  critic  to  speak 
to  them,  then  nothing  but  your  proverbial  courtesy  can  conceal 
the  fact  that  they  must  really  think  they  are  appealing  to  a 
natural  enemy.  I  have  the  misfortune  to  be  a  critic  [laughter], 
but  in  this  assembly  I  must  say  I  am  not  an  art  critic.  Friends 
have  made  a  presumptuous  attempt  to  fathom  the  depth  of  my 
ignorance  upon  artistic  subjects,  and  they  have  thought  that  in 
some  respects  I  must  be  admirably  qualified  for  art  criticism. 
[Laughter.] 

As  a  literary  critic  I  have  felt,  and  I  could  not  say  I  was 
surprised,  to  find  how  unanimously  critics  have  been  condemned 
by  poets  and  artists  of  all  generations.  I  need  only  quote  the 
words  of  the  greatest  authority,  Shakespeare,  who  in  one  of 
his  most  pathetic  sonnets  reckons  up  the  causes  of  the  weariness 
of  life  and  speaks  of  the  spectacle  of — 

"Art  made  tongue-tied  by  authority, 
And  folly  (doctor-like),  controlling  skill." 

The  great  poet  probably  wrote  these  words  after  the  mucH 
misrepresented  interview  with  Lord  Bacon  in  which  the  Chan- 
cellor explained  to  the  poet  how  ** Hamlet"  should  have  been 
written,  and  from  which  it  has  been  inferred  that  he  took  credit 

292 


THE  CRITIC  OF  LITERATURE  293 

for  having  written  it  himself.  [Laughter.]  Shakespeare  natu- 
rally said  what  every  artist  must  feel;  for  what  is  an  artist? 
That  is  hardly  a  question  to  be  asked  in  such  an  assembly,  where 
I  have  only  to  look  round  to  find  plenty  of  people  who  realize 
the  ideal  artist,  persons  who  are  simple,  unconventional,  spon- 
taneous, sweet-natured  [laughter],  who  go  through  the  world 
influenced  by  impressions  of  everything  that  is  beautiful,  sublime, 
and  pathetic.  Sometimes  they  seem  to  take  up  impressions  of 
a  different  kind  [laughter] ,  but  still  this  is  their  main  purpose — 
to  receive  impressions  of  images,  the  reproduction  of  which  may 
make  this  world  a  little  better  for  us  all.  For  such  people  a 
very  essential  condition  is  that  they  should  be  spontaneous ;  that 
they  should  look  to  nothing  but  telling  us  what  they  feel  and  how 
they  feel  it;  that  they  should  obey  no  external  rules,  and  only 
embody  those  laws  which  have  become  a  part  of  their  natural 
instinct,  and  that  they  should  think  nothing,  as  of  course  they 
do  nothing,  for  money;  though  they  would  not  be  so  hard- 
hearted as  to  refuse  to  receive  the  spontaneous  homage  of  the 
world,  even  when  it  came  in  that  comparatively  vulgar  form. 
[Laughter.] 

But  what  is  a  critic  ?  He  is  a  person  who  enforces  rules  upon 
the  artist  like  a  gardener  who  snips  a  tree  in  order  to  make  it 
grow  into  a  preconceived  form,  or  grafts  upon  it  until  it  develops 
into  a  monstrosity  which  he  considers  beautiful.  We  have  made 
some  advance  upon  the  old  savage.  The  man  who  went  about 
saying,  "This  will  never  do,"  has  become  a  thing  of  the  past. 
The  modern  critic  if  he  has  a  fault  has  become  too  genial;  he 
seems  not  to  distinguish  between  the  functions  of  a  critic  and 
the  founder  of  a  new  religious  sect.  [Laughter.]  He  erects 
shrines  to  his  ideals,  and  he  burns  upon  them  good,  strong, 
stupefying  incense.  This  may  be  less  painful  to  the  artist  than 
the  old-fashioned  style ;  but  it  may  be  doubted  whether  it  is  not 
equally  corrupting,  and  whether  it  does  not  stimulate  a  selfish- 
ness equally  fatal  to  spontaneous  production;  whether  it  does 
not  in  the  attempt  to  encourage  originality  favor  a  spurious  type 
which  consists  merely  in  setting  at  defiance  real  common  sense, 
and  sometimes  common  decency. 


294  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

I  hope  that  critics  are  becoming  better,  tiiat  they  have  learned 
what  imposters  they  have  been,  and  that  their  philosophy  has 
been  merely  the  skilful  manipulation  of  sonorous  words,  and 
that  on  the  whole,  they  must  lay  aside  their  magisterial  role  and 
cease  to  suppose  they  are  persons  enforcing  judicial  decisions 
or  experts  who  can  speak  with  authority  about  chemical  analysis. 
I  hope  that  critics  will  learn  to  lay  aside  all  pretension  and  to 
see  only  things  that  a  critic  really  can  see,  and  express  genuine 
sympathy  with  human  nature;  and  when  they  have  succeeded 
in  doing  that  they  will  be  received  as  friends  in  such  gatherings 
as  the  banquet  of  the  Royal  Academy.    [Cheers.] 


ILLUSIONS  CREATED  BY  ART. 

Lord  Palmerston. 

Henry  John  Temple,  Viscount  Palmerston,  responded  to  this  toast 
at  the  annual  banquet  of  the  Royal  Academy,  London,  May  second, 
1863.  It  is  characteristic  in  length  and  tone  of  most  of  the  Academy 
toasts. 

Mr.  President,  Your  Royal  Highnesses,  My  Lords,  and  Gen- 
tlemen: I  need  not,  I  am  certain,  assure  you  that  nothing  can 
be  more  gratifying  to  the  feelings  of  any  man  than  to  receive 
that  compliment  which  you  have  been  pleased  to  propose  and 
which  this  distinguished  assembly  has  been  kind  enough  so  favor- 
ably to  entertain  in  the  toast  of  his  health.  It  is  natural  that 
any  man  who  is  engaged  in  public  life  should  feel  the  greatest 
interest  in  the  promotion  of  the  fine  arts.  In  fact,  without  a 
great  cultivation  of  art  no  nation  has  ever  arrived  at  any  point 
of  eminence.  We  have  seen  great  warlike  exploits  performed  by 
nations  in  a  state,  I  won't  say  of  comparative  barbarism,  but 
wanting  comparative  civilization ;  we  have  seen  nations  amassing 
great  wealth,  but  yet  not  standing  thereby  high  in  the  estima- 
tion of  the  rest  of  the  world;  but  when  great  warlike  achieve- 
ments, great  national  prosperity,  and  a  high  cultivation  of  the 
arts  are  all  combined  together,  the  nation  in  which  those  condi- 
tions are  found  may  pride  itself  on  holding  that  eminent  posi- 
tion among  the  nations  of  the  world  which  I  am  proud  to  say 
belongs  to  this  country.     [Loud  cheers.] 

It  is  gratifying  to  have  the  honor  of  being  invited  to  those 
periodical  meetings  where  we  find  assembled  within  these  rooms 
a  greater  amount  of  cultivation  of  minH",  of  natural  genius,  of 
everything  which  constitutes  the  development  of  human  intel- 
lect than  perhaps  has  ever  assembled  within  the  same  space 
elsewhere.  And  we  have  besides  the  gratification  of  seeing  that 
in  addition  to  those  living  examples  of  national  genius  the  walls 
are  covered  with  proofs  that  the  national  genius  is  capable  of 

295 


296  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

the  most  active  and  admirable  development.  [Cheers.]  Upon 
the  present  occasion,  Mr.  President,  every  visitor  must  have 
seen  with  the  greatest  delight  that  by  the  side  of  the  works  of 
those  whose  names  are  familiar  to  all,  there  are  works  of  great 
ability  brought  hither  by  men  who  are  still  rising  to  fame ;  and, 
therefore,  we  have  the  satisfaction  of  feeling  that  this  country 
will  never  be  wanting  in  men  distinguished  in  the  practice  of 
the  fine  arts.  [Cheers.]  One  great  merit  of  this  exhibition  is 
that  whatever  may  be  the  turn  of  a  man's  mind,  whatever  his 
position  in  life,  he  may  at  least  during  the  period  he  is  within 
these  walls  indulge  the  most  pleasant  illusions  applicable  to  the 
wants  his  mind  at  that  time  may  feel.  A  man  who  comes  here 
shivering  in  one  of  those  days  which  mark  the  severity  of  an 
English  summer,  may  imagine  that  he  is  basking  in  an  African 
sun  and  he  may  feel  an  imaginary  warmth  from  the  representa- 
tion of  a  tropical  climate.  If,  on  the  other  hand,  he  is  suffer- 
ing under  those  exceptional  miseries  which  one  of  the  few  hot 
days  of  an  English  summer  is  apt  to  create,  he  may  imagine 
himself  inhaling  the  fresh  breezes  of  the  seaside;  he  may  sup- 
pose himself  reclining  in  the  cool  shade  of  the  most  luxuriant 
foliage ;  he  may  for  a  time,  in  fancy,  feel  all  the  delights  which 
the  streets  and  pavements  of  London  deny  in  reality.  [Cheers 
and  laughter.]  And  if  he  happens  to  be  a  young  man,  upon 
what  is  conventionally  said  to  be  his  preferment,  that  is  to  say, 
looking  out  for  a  partner  in  life,  he  may  here  study  all  kinds 
and  descriptions  of  female  beauty  [laughter  and  cheers] ;  he 
may  satisfy  his  mind  whether  light  hair  or  dark,  blue  eyes  or 
black,  the  tender  or  the  serious,  the  gay  or  the  sentimental,  are 
most  likely  to  contribute  to  the  happiness  of  his  future  life. 
[Cheers.]  And  without  exposing  himself  to  any  of  those  embar- 
rassing questions  as  to  his  intentions  [laughter]  which  some- 
times too  inquisitive  a  scrutiny  may  bring  [much  laughter], 
without  creating  disappointment  or  breaking  any  hearts,  by 
being  referred  to  any  paternal  authority,  which,  he  may  not 
desire  to  consult,  he  may  go  and  apply  to  practical  selection 
those  principles  of  choice  which  will  result  from  the  study  within 
these  walls. 


ILLUSIONS  CREATED  BY  ART  297 

Then  those  of  a  more  serious  turn  of  mind  who  direct  their 
thoughts  to  State  affairs,  and  who  wish  to  know  of  what  that 
august  assembly  the  House  of  Commons  is  composed,  may  here 
[pointing  to  Phillip's  picture  behind  the  chair],  without  the 
trouble  of  asking  an  order,  without  waiting  in  Westminster  Hall 
until  a  seat  be  vacant,  without  passing  hours  in  a  hot  gallery 
listening  perhaps  to  dull  discourses  in  an  uninteresting  debate 
— they  may  here  see  what  kind  of  thing  the  House  of  Commons 
is,  and  go  back  edified  by  the  sight  without  being  bored  by  dull 
speeches.     [Cheers  and  laughter.] 

Now  don't,  gentlemen,  imagine  that  I  am  romancing  when  I 
attribute  this  virtue  to  ocular  demonstration — don't  imagine 
that  that  which  enters  the  eye  does  not  sometimes  penetrate  to 
the  mind  and  feelings.  I  will  give  you  an  instance  to  the  con- 
trary. I  remember  within  these  walls  seeing  two  gentlemen  who 
evidently,  from  their  remarks,  were  very  good  judges  of  horses, 
looking  with  the  greatest  admiration  upon  the  well-known  pic- 
ture of  Landseer,  *'The  Horseshoeing  at  the  Blacksmith's;" 
and  after  they  had  looked  at  it  for  some  time  one  was  approach- 
ing nearer,  when  the  other  in  an  agony  of  enthusiasm  said: 
"For  heaven's  sake,  don't  go  too  near,  he  will  kick  you." 
[Cheers  and  laughter.] 

Well,  gentlemen,  I  said  that  a  public  man  must  take  great 
interest  in  art,  but  I  feel  that  the  present  Government  has  an 
apology  to  make  to  one  department  of  art,  and  that  is  to  the 
sculptors;  for  there  is  an  old  maxim  denoting  one  of  the  high 
functions  of  art  which  is  *' Ars  est  celare  artem.'*  Now  there 
was  a  cellar  in  which  the  art  of  the  most  distinguished  sculptors 
was  concealed  to  the  utmost  extent  of  the  application  of  that 
saying.  We  have  brought  them  comparatively  into  light ;  and  if 
the  sculptors  will  excuse  us  for  having  departed  from  that  sage 
and  ancient  maxim,  I  am  sure  the  public  will  thank  us  for 
having  given  them  an  opportunity  of  seeing  those  beautiful  works 
of  men  of  which  it  may  be  said :  *  *  Vivos  ductmt  de  marmore  vuh 
tus."  I  trust,  therefore,  the  sculptors  will  excuse  us  for  having 
done,  not  perhaps  the  best  they  might  have  wished,  but  at  least 
for  having  relieved  them  a  little  from  the  darkness  of  that 


298  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

Cimmerian  cellar  in  which  their  works  were  hid.  [Cheers.]  I 
beg  again  to  thank  you,  gentlemen,  for  the  honor  you  have  done 
me  in  drinking  my  health.    [Loud  cheers.] 


OUR  JEALOUS  MISTRESS— THE  LAW. 

William  Allen  Wood. 

This  toast  is  a  combination  of  two  toasts,  one  of  which  was  given 
at  a  bar  dinner,  with  a  few  personal  allusions  eliminated. 

Gentlemen  of  the  Bench  and  Bar:  I  hope  it  does  not  seem 
to  you  that  your  committee,  having  given  you  bread  in  the  way 
of  these  epicurean  delights,  now  offers  you  a  stone  in  the  form 
of  a  toast  on  the  law.  It  may  be  as  well  to  reassure  you  by 
saying  I  shall  not  ''talk  shop"  so  far  as  the  discussion  of  any 
particular  legal  question  is  concerned.  I  consider  this  a  purely 
recreational  occasion,  and  hope  that  the  serious  part  of  my 
address  will  not  prove  wholly  incompatible  with  that  idea.  It 
is  plain,  however,  from  your  affluent  appearance  that  you  can 
afford  both  bread  and  stone  if  you  want  them.  Indeed,  on 
account  of  your  appearance  of  very  great  prosperity,  I  am  per- 
suaded to  believe  that  some  lawyers  actually  get  those  prepos- 
terously large  fees  we  read  about,  and  that  the  jokes  at  the 
expense  of  the  profession  in  this  regard  have  some  foundation 
in  fact. 

When  I  was  advised  several  days  ago  that  I  was  to  speak 
this  evening  on  this  subject,  I  began  to  try  to  think  of  some- 
thing pleasant  and  stimulating  to  say.  Having  a  high  regard 
for  our  profession  myself,  a  regard  in  which  I  have  been  con- 
firmed many  times  by  histories  of  one  kind  or  another,  by  social, 
political,  and  legal  philosophers,  and  above  all,  by  the  many 
evidences  of  preferment  shown  by  the  public  at  large  towards 
us,  I  thought  I  would  note  in  the  current  fiction  I  should  read 
between  that  time  and  to-night  what  authors  now  prominent 
before  the  public  think  of  us,  if  they  give  us  their  attention  at 
all — ^with  the  purpose,  of  course,  of  using  it  here  to-night  to 
give  us  a  little  more  chest  expansion  on  account  of  things  in 
general  and  ourselves  in  particular.     What  was  my  surprise 

299 


aOO  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

and  dismay  to  find  in  the  only  two  pieces  of  literature  I  read 
that  mentioned  our  profession  that  there  are  those  who  have, 
apparently,  a  decidedly  shabby  opinion  of  us,  even  when  taking 
into  account  that  the  opinions  are  expressed  in  fiction.  Being 
confronted  to-night  with  an  imperturable  complacency  that  does 
not  seem  to  leave  further  capacity  for  chest  expansion,  I  am 
inclined  to  believe  a  higher  power  has  interfered  and  has  meant 
me  to  quote  from  these  books  to  try  to  puncture  this  compla- 
cency. However,  before  doing  so,  I  will  administer  a  dose  of 
tonic  in  the  way  of  a  fine  example  of  appreciation  of  the  law 
I  found  in  a  news  item  in  one  of  our  city  papers  a  few  evenings 
ago.  This  dispatch,  which  I  have  culled  for  your  entertainment, 
is  from  a  smaller  city  of  Indiana  and  is  a  masterpiece  of  the 
reporter's  art.  With  the  exception  of  the  name  of  the  gentle- 
man it  concerns,  the  item  reads  as  follows:  "William  (or  Big 
Bill)  Jenkins,  who  was  sheriff  two  terms,  who  made  a  race  for 
mayor  on  the  Republican  ticket,  who  has  been  in  half  a  dozen 
business  enterprises  and  weighs  more  than  three  hundred  pounds, 
is  going  to  Indianapolis  next  month  to  attend  law  school.  Some 
weeks  ago  Jenkins  entered  a  law  ofiice  to  see  how  he  would  like 
the  profession  and  appeared  in  a  few  cases  in  a  justice  of  the 
peace  court.  He  believes  he  has  found  his  vocation.  Jenkins 
a  year  ago  mixed  up  in  a  sensational  divorce  case  following  a 
marriage  that  caused  another  woman  to  assault  him.  He  then 
married  his  assailant.  There  was  plenty  of  law  in  the  varied 
phases  of  Jenkins'  matrimonial  troubles  and  he  was  compelled 
to  pay  enough  large  fees  to  cause  him  to  think  well  of  the  pro- 
fession. He  was  a  bricklayer  when  elected  to  office. ' '  So  you  see 
that,  through  sore  tribulation  and  wide  experience  of  businesses 
and  life  and  a  taste  of  our  work,  another  has  felt  a  "calling" 
to  serve  the  country  in  our  high  profession.  I  am  sure  we  are 
glad  to  be  confirmed  in  our  choice  by  this  recent  happy  example 
and  to  applaud  our  State  that  such  appreciation  of  the  law  has 
been  rewarded  by  almost  instant  admission  to  our  midst.  It 
may  be  that  a  bar  composed  of  such  ill-trained  members  incited 
Dick  the  butcher,  in  King  Henry  the  Sixth,  to  say,  "The  first 
thing  we  do,  let's  kill  all  the  lawyers."    It  is  not  necessary,  I 


OUR  JEALOUS  MISTRESS  — THE  LAW  301 

believe,  to  emphasize  to  this  audience  the  tip  in  this  item  that 
the  payment  of  large  fees  breeds  respect  for  the  profession  in 
those  who  pay. 

You  will  note  from  the  quotations  from  current  literature, 
when  I  come  to  them,  that  our  literary  brethren  seem  to  regard 
our  profession  as  a  hard,  unsympathetic  and  unprogressive  one. 
It  has  occurred  to  me  that  the  chief  virtues  of  the  law,  its  delib- 
eration, its  stability,  strict  reasonableness  and  firmness,  are 
what  make  it  seem  to  many  people  a  hard-hearted  profession. 
It  is  true  that  if  these  virtues  are  at  all  overdeveloped,  the  ten- 
dency is  towards  hardness,  but  through  all  the  ages  the  law  has 
been  subjected  from  time  to  time  to  corrective  influences,  both 
philosophical  and  emotional  in  their  origin,  which  have  kept  it 
surprisingly  humane.  Aristotle,  the  philosopher,  said  that  per- 
fect law-givers  have  had  more  regardful  care  of  friendship  than 
of  justice,  and  Aristotle's  philosophy  has  been  a  power  ever 
since  it  was  given  the  world.  Coming  down  to  recent  times,  we 
find  in  Hugo's  Les  Miserables  a  powerful  piece  of  fiction  whose 
leading  idea,  presented  in  an  emotional  form,  has  had  a  con- 
stantly softening  effect  on  the  law.  I  can  do  no  better  than 
present  its  idea  in  the  language  of  Amiel,  who,  in  1863,  wrote 
in  his  journal,  "I  have  been  turning  over  the  thirty-five  hun- 
dred pages  of  Les  Miserables,  trying  to  understand  the  guiding 
idea  of  this  vast  composition.  The  fundamental  idea  of  Les 
Miserables  seems  to  be  this :  Society  engenders  certain  frightful 
evils — prostitution,  vagabondage,  rogues,  thieves,  convicts,  war, 
revolutionary  clubs  and  barricades.  She  ought  to  impress  this 
fact  on  her  mind,  and  not  treat  all  those  who  come  in  contact 
with  law  as  mere  monsters.  The  task  before  us  is  to  humanize 
law  and  opinion,  to  raise  the  fallen  as  well  as  the  vanquished, 
to  create  a  social  redemption.  How  is  this  to  be  done?  By 
enlightening  vice  and  lawlessness,  and  so  diminishing  the  sum 
of  them,  and  by  bringing  to  bear  upon  the  guilty  the  healing 
influence  of  pardon.  At  bottom  is  it  not  a  Christianization  of 
society,  this  extension  of  charity  from  the  sinner  to  the  con- 
demned criminal,  this  application  to  our  present  life  of  what 
the  church  applies  to  the  other?    Struggle  to  restore  a  human 


302  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

soul  to  order  and  to  righteousness  by  patience  and  by  love, 
instead  of  crushing  it  by  your  inflexible  vindictiveness,  your 
savage  justice!  Such  is  the  cry  of  the  book."  Amiel  then 
points  out  that  the  book  is  great  and  noble,  a  little  optimistic 
and  Rousseau-like,  somewhat  fanciful  in  its  superficial  notion 
of  evil,  ignoring  those  delinquents  who  love  evil  for  evil's  sake; 
that  the  great  and  salutary  idea  of  the  book  is  that  honesty 
before  the  law  is  a  cruel  hypocrisy,  in  so  far  as  it  arrogates  to 
itself  the  right  of  dividing  society  according  to  its  own  standard 
into  elect  and  reprobate,  and  then  confounds  the  relative  with 
the  absolute.  The  leading  passage,  in  which  Javert  reverses 
his  whole  moral  system,  shows  us  social  charity  illuminating  and 
transforming  a  harsh  and  unrighteous  justice.  To-day  we 
have  Galsworthy's  drama.  Justice,  which  has  had  such  an  effect 
on  that  talented  member  of  Parliament,  Winston  Churchill,  that 
he  at  once  set  about  prison  reform  in  England  because  of  it. 

The  law  is  not  necessarily  hard,  but  it  is  necessarily  firm. 
It  cannot  take  account  of  pure  sentimentalism  in  performing 
its  function.  It  is  necessarily  punitive  in  the  maintenance  of 
order,  even  when  we  take  the  relative  instead  of  the  absolute 
view  of  crime.  It  presupposes  a  broad  education  of  the 
head  as  well  as  the  heart.  It  is  true  it  sometimes  begets  a  cer- 
tain vulgar  cocksureness,  which  arises  from  the  supposed  infalli- 
bility of  precedents  and  takes  the  place  of  that  admirable  cer- 
tainty born  of  a  union  between  the  mind  and  the  heart  in  com- 
mon approval  of  an  opinion,  but  that  again  is  a  tendency  that 
is  an  exaggerated  virtue.  We,  as  lawyers,  cannot  adopt  what 
seems  to  be  the  current  and  popular  idea  that  life  is  largely 
experimental,  empirical,  and  that  the  value  of  all  laws  may  be 
tested  by  the  individual,  who  can  adopt  what  suits  his  person- 
ality and  disregard,  or  cleverly  evade,  those  which  do  not.  The 
experience  of  the  race  must  count  for  something,  and  the 
individual  must  be  made  to  assimilate  and  take  for  part  of 
his  adopted  traits  and  customs  what  the  race  has  declared  in 
law  to  be  righteous  and  just,  whether  he  has  personal  oppor- 
tunity to  experiment  and  pronounce  on  them  or  not.  The 
individual  must  be  made,  whether  willing  or  not,  to  assume  his 


OUR  JEALOUS  MISTRESS  — THE  LAW  303 

share  of  personal  responsibility  for  the  maintenance  of  our 
inherited  civilization,  and  there  must  be  no  privileged  char- 
acters, either  natural  or  artificial.  "We,  as  lawyers,  must  insist 
on  the  virtue  of  the  stability,  firmness,  reasonableness  and  ines- 
capableness  of  the  law,  especially  now  when  ridiculous  senti- 
mentality runs  riot  in  the  land  so  that  in  almost  every  play 
of  the  underworld  one  sees,  the  clever  criminal,  who  is  the  hero, 
is  rewarded  for  his  crime  with  the  hand  of  the  beautiful,  inno- 
cent heroine,  when  he  should  be  sent  to  hard  work  in  a  peni- 
tentiary. In  a  book  advertisement  I  read  a  few  days  ago  the 
publishers  said  the  author  **  shows  the  same  delightful  love  for 
human  sins  and  frailties  that  he  shows  in  his  other  books."  If 
it  is  true  that  we  tend  to  become  like  that  which  we  habitually 
admire,  such  an  attitude  on  the  part  of  any  considerable  part 
of  our  population  would  not  augur  well  for  the  future  of  our 
country.  Do  not  understand  me  as  decrying  education  of  the 
heart.  I  believe  that,  of  all  men,  the  lawyer  must  be  the  man 
of  all-round  education.  And  while  I  think  that  to  know  the 
law,  to  comprehend  its  basic  principles  and  the  lines  of  reason- 
ing growing  out  of  them,  and  to  be  able  to  think  in  line  with 
them,  is  a  liberal  education  in  itself,  still,  to  have  one's  mind 
so  specialized  in  the  law  of  precedents  and  decisions  that  it  can 
only  think  in  accordance  with  them,  is  to  undergo  a  distressing 
and  repellant  paralysis  of  the  intellectual  faculties  and  a  prac- 
tical crowding  out  of  the  natural  and  beneficent  altruism  of  the 
heart,  I  do  not  believe  the  judges  and  lawyers  of  any  age  have 
more  nicely  balanced  the  two  elements  of  a  proper  opinion,  have 
more  sanely  tempered  justice  with  mercy,  than  those  of  to-day.  As 
the  Mikado  has  it,  I  believe  they  try  to  the  best  of  their  ability  to 
"make  the  punishment  fit  the  crime."  Hand-me-down  opinions 
are  no  longer  put  on  every  case  of  a  general  class.  Especially 
in  the  application  of  justice  to  juvenile  offenders,  such  occupants 
of  the  bench  as  Judge  Lindsey,  of  Denver,  and  the  late  Judge 
Stubbs,  of  Indianapolis,  have  promoted  the  custom  of  taking 
the  measure  of  the  individual  offender,  of  considering  his  or 
her  welfare  and  the  individual  and  social  reaction  that  may 
come  from  punishment  of  one  kind  or  another  under  the  law, 


304  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

•which  results  in  a  tailor-made  opinion  for  each  ease  considered. 
Thus  the  law  and  the  demands  of  a  reasonable  altruism  are  both 
met  satisfactorily.  This  kind  of  justice  also  gives  the  lawyers 
appearing  on  opposite  sides  of  a  case  the  opportunity  of  being 
more  honest  with  themselves  and  with  the  judges.  Both  need 
not  claim  to  be  absolutely  right,  each  claiming  that  the  other 
is  absolutely  wrong,  inhibiting  to  some  extent  thereby  the  swift 
and  accurate  conclusion  of  justice.  The  story  is  told  of  an 
English  lawyer  who  had  several  professional  wigs  hanging  in  a 
wardrobe  of  his  office — a  common  business  wig,  a  chancery  wig, 
a  house  of  lords  wig,  and  a  court  wig.  A  friend  visiting  the 
office  inquired  about  them  and  was  told  the  purpose  of  each. 
**And  where,"  said  the  friend,  **is  the  honest  lawyer's  wig?" 
**That,"  replied  the  lawyer,  "is  unfashionable  and  unprofes- 
sional."  I  may  remark  that  the  modified  system  of  justice  in 
England  and  America  has  made  the  honest  lawyer's  wig  both 
fashionable  and  professional. 

I  have  wandered,  in  a  way,  in  what  seemed  to  me  an  alluring 
philosophical  bypath,  from  the  subject  of  how  we  appear  to  the 
literary  public.  I  hope  my  speech  will  not  sound  like  a  com- 
pilation by  Lord  Avebury,  better  known  here,  perhaps,  as  Sir 
John  Lubbock,  if  I  now  use  these  other  quotations.  Of  the  two 
I  mentioned  to  you,  I  was  particularly  amused  with  the  lan- 
guage of  the  lawyer  in  The  Dream  Play,  by  the  lately  deceased 
Norwegian  dramatist,  Strindberg.  It  is  something  over  which 
we  can  shed  festive  tears,  if  tears  be  necessary.  Picturing  his 
work  and  social  condition  as  he  sits  in  his  law  office,  this  char- 
acter says,  "Look  at  these  walls.  Does  it  not  look  as  if  the 
wallpaper  itself  had  been  soiled  by  every  conceivable  sin  ?  Look 
at  these  documents  into  which  I  write  tales  of  wrong.  Look  at 
myself — ^no  smiling  man  ever  comes  here;  nothing  is  to  be  seen 
here  but  angry  glances,  snarling  lips,  clenched  fists — and  every- 
body pours  his  anger,  his  envy,  his  suspicions  upon  me.  Look 
— my  hands  are  black,  and  no  washing  will  clean  them.  *  *  • 
At  times  I  have  the  place  fumigated  with  sulphur,  but  it  does 
not  help.  I  sleep  near  by  and  I  dream  of  nothing  but  crimes — 
just  now  I  have  a  murder  case  in  court — oh,  I  can  stand  that, 


OUR  JEALOUS  MISTRESS  — THE  LAW  305 

but  do  you  know  what  is  worse  than  anything  else? — ^that  is  to 
separate  married  people !  Then  it  is  as  if  something  cried  way 
down  in  the  earth  and  up  there  in  the  sky — as  if  it  cried  treason 
against  the  primal  force,  against  the  source  of  all  good,  against 
love, — and  do  you  know,  when  reams  of  paper  have  been  filled 
with  mutual  accusations,  and  at  last  a  sympathetic  person  takes 
one  of  the  two  apart  and  asks  with  a  pinch  of  the  ear  or  a  smile, 
the  simple  question :  what  have  you  really  got  against  your  hus- 
band?— or  your  wife? — then  he,  or  she,  stands  perplexed  and 
cannot  give  the  cause.  Once, — ^well,  I  think  a  lettuce  salad  was 
the  principal  issue ;  another  time  it  was  just  a  word — ^mostly  it 
is  nothing  at  all.  But  the  tortures,  the  sufferings — these  I  have 
to  bear.  Do  you  think  anybody  dares  to  be  friendly  with  me, 
who  has  to  collect  all  the  debts,  all  the  money  obligations  of  the 
whole  city?"  This  is,  perhaps,  as  much  as  we  could  expect 
from  that  gray  country  whose  authors  have  invented  such 
marvelous  technique  in  writing,  but  concern  themselves  with 
subjects  that  are  so  morbid  and  depressing.  Not  to  mention 
particularly  the  ridiculousness  of  a  lawyer's  filling  reams  of 
paper  with  accusations  the  client  cannot  remember — or  with  those 
involving  the  lettuce  salad, — the  attitude  towards  the  law  here 
is  as  if,  to  use  a  medical  comparison,  a  doctor  took  the  same 
diseases  as  his  patients  and  suffered  all  the  tortures  his  patients 
suffered,  or  as  if,  from  a  weak,  unfortified  quality  of  sympathy, 
he  sometimes  became  hysterical  with  pain  for  his  patients.  Ours 
would  be  a  most  unattractive  profession  if  our  members  were 
like  the  lawyer  presented  by  Strindberg.  Our  relation  to  our 
clients,  like  the  physician's  relation  to  his  patient,  should  and 
must  be  strictly  professional,  as  I  believe  it  is  in  ninety-nine 
cases  out  of  a  hundred.  If  we  were  to  worry  over  the  troubles 
of  our  clients,  if  we  acted  with  any  extensive  interest  in  their 
affairs  beyond  the  purely  professional  one,  we  soon  should  be 
in  the  insane  asylum.  No  client  has  a  claim  on  our  emotional 
interest  and  sympathy,  though  we  often  do  extend  this  to  our 
friends  in  distress,  and  when  we  have  put  at  the  service  of  our 
clients  the  best  of  our  skill  and  ability  in  the  law,  the  best  con- 
sidered conduct  of  their  affairs,  without  any  personal  interest 


306  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

or  bias,  and  always  with  approved  professional  conduct  on  our 
part,  then  we  owe  them  nothing  more.  From  observation  and 
personal  experience,  furthermore,  I  have  not  seen  that  anything 
more  than  this  on  our  part  is  beneficial  to  them,  or  the  object  of 
special  appreciation  on  the  part  of  our  clients. 

One  of  the  most  talented  and  perhaps  the  most  popular  of 
authors  now  in  the  public  eye — and,  I  may  say,  one  who  should 
know  better — is  the  Englishman,  Arnold  Bennett.  Let  me  read 
what  he  says  of  the  British  bar  in  his  novel.  Whom  God  Hath 
Joined.  The  principal  character  of  the  story  went  into  Chan- 
cery Lane,  London,  and  here,  says  the  author,  **  hidden  away 
in  ten  thousand  lairs  behind  a  chaotic  jumble  of  facades  in  all 
styles  from  venerable  Tudor  to  the  ludicrous  terra  cotta  of  late 
nineteenth  century,  the  least  productive  and  yet  the  most 
necessary  of  professions  practiced  its  mysteries,  flourishing  on 
the  imperfections  of  humanity,  taking  and  never  giving, 
destroying  and  never  creating, ' ' — Hear  that ! — '  *  concerned  with 
neither  beauty  nor  intellect,  eternally  busy  with  nothing  but 
the  altercations  of  dishonesty  and  avarice,  the  apportionment  of 
gain,  the  division  of  amassed  property,  the  pilgrimages  of 
money  and  the  neat  conclusion  of  disasters  in  proper  form. 
Round  about  lawns  and  fountained  gardens,  trim  alleys,  spacious 
squares,  and  obscure  courtyards,  this  singular  profession,  which 
mankind  has  united  to  curse,  to  revile,  and  to  honor,  labored 
amid  dirt  and  old  usages,  often  in  bizarre  and  foolish  raiment, 
at  operations  sometimes  useful,  sometimes  of  an  inconceivable 
fatuity,  but  invariably  attended  by  rite  and  ceremony.  From 
Chancery  Lane  to  Sardinia  Street,  from  Holborn  to  the  Embank- 
ment, justice,  a  commodity  unknown  to  nature," — ^he  is  evidently 
not  learned  in  science — "was  retailed  with  astonishing  results. 
Precedent  reigned;  and  the  whole  population  was  engaged  in  a 
desperate  battle  for  the  sacred  legal  principles  that  that  which 
has  been  must  continue  to  be,  no  matter  what  the  cost."  And 
this  from  a  man  who,  only  through  the  beneficence  of  the  law 
and  the  continuance  of  the  principle  of  personal  rights  in  the 
product  of  one's  own  brain,  draws  his  tens  of  thousands,  and,  I 
dare  say,  his  hundreds  of  thousands  of  dollars  of  royalties  from 


OUR  JEALOUS  MISTRESS  — THE  LAW  307 

his  books  and  plays  in  the  English-speaking  world.  Fully  pro- 
tected by  the  law  he  holds  up  to  ridicule,  he  has  eyes  and  sees  not. 
He  would  be  the  first  to  appeal  to  the  law  for  protection  were 
his  rights  invaded — ^were  some  piratical  publisher  to  take  advan- 
tage of  his  popularity  and  try  to  evade  our  copyright  laws.  But 
the  hands  that  caress  are  quite  used  to  being  bit,  and  we,  in  our 
good  nature  and  indulgence,  forgive  our  offenders;  and  I  hope 
some  of  us,  some  time,  will  have  the  opportunity  to  force  on 
them  respect  for  the  law  by  the  happy  method  suggested  by  the 
news  item  I  read  you.  Still  it  would  be  a  relief  for  some  master- 
hand  in  the  drama  or  novel  to  faithfully  draw  a  high  type  of 
lawyer  and  to  present  the  law  in  its  true  light.  In  my  late  read- 
ing I  have  failed  to  find  this.  I  offer  my  idea  free  and  uncopy- 
righted  to  any  maker  of  fiction  who  is  inclined  to  use  it.  We 
must  turn  to  history  and  philosophy,  it  seems,  to  get  our  just 
dues. 

But  I  shall  not  detain  you  to  cite  history  and  philosophy  in 
our  support.  I  shall  not  recall  our  very  constructive  functions 
in  contemporary  business.  I  shall  not  even  take  time  to  point 
out  at  length  our  great  conservative  function,  so  well  described 
by  De  Toqueville,  as  a  balance-wheel  in  our  government,  though 
I  wish  to  say  that  the  lawyers  are  the  best  guaranty  that  in  this 
democratic  government  our  undertakings,  as  President  Hadley,  of 
Yale,  suggests,  be  confined  to  those  matters  of  policy  which  have 
been  thoroughly  discussed  and  have  preeminently  commended 
themselves  to  the  whole  people.  I  believe  that  the  greatest  faults 
of  the  two  greatest  party  leaders  of  our  time,  Mr.  Roosevelt  and 
Mr.  Bryan,  the  former  in  his  last  campaign  for  the  candidacy, 
have  been  their  sudden  appeals  with  ideas  new  to  the  people 
by  which  they  apparently  intended  to  take  the  people  by  storm. 
In  appealing  to  the  people's  impulses  they  have  not  appealed 
to  the  best  form  of  government  by  public  sentiment,  and  have 
met  defeat  in  consequence.  I  believe  there  is  a  reaction  in 
public  sentiment  against  any  man  who  tries  to  force  his  opinions 
on  the  people  and  make  a  party  issue  of  some  question  the  people 
have  not  had  time  to  consider.  I  yield  to  no  one  in  reasonable 
admiration  for  Mr.  Roosevelt,  but  I  believe  the  general  con- 


308  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

demnation  of  him  by  the  bar  of  America  when  he  advocated 
at  a  most  injudicious  time  the  recall  of  judges  was  justified, 
and  that  it  is  an  example  of  one  of  our  functions  which  I  believe 
makes  for  the  ultimate  security  of  our  form  of  government.  The 
people  may  later  adopt  the  ideas  of  a  leader,  but  they  usually 
refuse  to  act  till  they  have  digested  the  questions  or  are  impressed 
with  their  desirability  by  an  apparent  preponderance  of  enlight- 
ened opinion,  which  the  bar  is  so  useful  in  helping  to  form. 

The  law  then  is  not  hard  or  unsympathetic,  but  reasonable, 
considerate  and  deliberate.  There  is,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  as 
much  place  for  ** temperament"  in  the  law  as  in  other  occupa- 
tions. It  is  temperament  that  makes  such  a  play  as  Gals- 
worthy's Justice  effective  in  suggesting  modifications  of  the  law, 
and  it  is  the  responding  temperament  in  the  law-makers  which 
brings  these  modifications  about.  Temperament,  in  its  true 
sense  as  a  personal  quality,  is  only  that  sensibility  I  spoke  of, 
a  union  of  the  sight  of  the  heart  and  mind  which  seeks  truth 
in  its  larger  aspect.  And  as  for  connoisseurship,  we  have  that 
in  the  law  as  in  the  arts.  I  know  of  a  Virginia  professor  who 
has  the  best  notes  and  lectures  on  real  property  of  any  lawyer 
in  America,  and  there  are  several  books  on  various  subjects  of 
law  whose  authors  show  as  much  knowledge  of  the  composition 
of  their  several  subjects  as  a  whole  as  any  craftsmen  in  painting, 
sculpture  or  architecture  show  in  their  arts.  These  books,  the 
opinions  of  certain  judges,  the  speeches  of  certain  advocates, 
the  conduct  of  cases  by  certain  skilled  lawyers,  all  appeal  to 
discriminating  legal  minds  and  furnish  variety  and  warm  inter- 
est in  this  profession  of  ours. 

But  now,  what  is  the  personal  relation  of  the  law  to  us  as 
lawyers?  If  the  law  is  taken  too  much  for  granted  by  others, 
if  its  larger  effects — government,  order,  peace,  the  adjustment 
of  rights  and  wrongs,  and  the  like — are  not  seen  by  our  literary 
neighbors  but  are  lost  sight  of  on  account  of  its  small  faults, 
which  we  all  acknowledge,  we  stiU  must  uphold  it  and  espouse 
it  in  all  its  righteousness  and  dignity.  We  must  view  it  in  its 
larger  relations — sub  specice  eternitatis.  Law  is  the  time-long 
fact  of  material  organization  and  the  age-long  fact  of  social 


OUR  JEALOUS  MISTRESS  — THE  LAW  309 

organization.  Through  it  in  its  social  aspect  we  learn  to  view 
particular  conduct  in  the  light  of  universal  conduct.  The  chal- 
lenge of  the  law  to  us  is  that  we  broadly  view  it  with  that 
detachment  and  respect  only  through  which  we  can  comprehend 
it  and  properly  interpret  and  apply  it.  The  law 
is  moral  and  artistic,  and  includes  in  its  broader  phase  all  the 
righteousness  and  art  of  living.  Whatever  rules  of  living  con- 
tribute to  our  permanent  happiness  and  welfare,  have  in  them 
the  elements  of  law,  even  though  they  be  paternalistic.  It  is 
true,  as  Hegel  said,  that  where  the  aesthetic  sense  is  deep  enough, 
it  is  an  unconscious  moral  sense  and  tends  to  keep  men  pure 
and  right,  and  the  moral  sense,  in  its  perfection,  becomes  also 
the  aesthetic.  Any  law  which  violates  the  rules  or  principles 
of  eternal  justice  and  happiness  is  a  bad  law — in  fact,  it  is  not 
a  law  in  the  real  sense,  because  it  lacks  the  essential  element  I 
have  just  mentioned  as  belonging  to  laws.  Professionally,  law, 
like  every  other  proper  business,  has  a  moral  side,  and  this 
moral  side,  the  ideal  aspect  of  our  bread-getting  employment, 
is  the  attainment  and  preservation  of  the  highest  skill  in  its 
technique.  It  is  usual  to  consider  as  the  ideal  side  of  the  lawyer 
his  absolute  honesty  towards  his  client,  his  squareness  in  all  his 
dealings  with  him.  But  this  is  the  ideal  side  of  his  character 
as  a  man  and  is  aside  from  his  character  as  a  lawyer.  If  a 
lawyer  does  not  deal  justly  with  his  client,  both  as  between 
themselves  and  in  the  larger  and  better  sense  of  justice,  acting, 
I  might  say,  at  the  same  time  as  the  citizen-advocate  of  society 
as  well  as  of  the  client,  considering  the  client's  relation  to  mat- 
ters of  citizenship  and  public  policy,  he  is  a  dishonest  man ;  but 
if  he  does  not  know  the  law  sufficiently  to  serve  his  client's 
interests  to  the  best  of  the  opportunities  of  the  law  and  to 
understand  his  client's  proper  legal  relation  to  society,  he  is  to 
that  degree  a  dishonest  and  incapable  lawyer.  Becoming  a 
skilled  craftsman  in  the  production,  interpretation  and  applica- 
tion of  the  law  is  more,  then,  than  mere  personal  honesty.  It 
embraces  not  only  that  principle  but  also  the  knowledge  and  use 
of  the  rules  of  law  and  that  generous  and  elevated  altruism  and 
social  concern  which  lifts  us  above  pure  utilitarianism  into  that 


810  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

clearer  atmosphere  where  enters  as  a  consideration  in  our  enjoy- 
ment of  our  profession  the  honor  of  its  labor  and  the  art  of  its 
practice. 

Our  great  heritage  in  the  law  is  that  accumulated  spirit  of 
right  and  justice  and  the  reasons  therefor,  which  have  been  kept 
alive  by  professional  pride  and  which  are  rendered  more  exact 
or  better  adjusted  to  contemporary  customs  and  ideas  of  right 
by  the  professional  opinion  of  to-day.  This  justifies  us  in 
expecting  from  the  public  that  discriminating  praise  which 
tends  to  sustain  in  us  our  best  qualities  and  which  the  public, 
with  all  its  quips  at  our  expense,  does,  I  believe,  give  us  not  only 
by  the  word  of  historians  and  social  philosophers,  but  shows 
in  spirit  by  giving  us  instinctively,  it  would  seem,  more  of  the 
honors  within  its  gift,  more  of  those  positions  where  we  act  as 
trustees  of  its  general  welfare  than  it  gives  to  any  other  class 
of  our  citizenship.  It  is  much  as  if  the  public  recognizes  what 
De  Toqueville  so  ably  called  to  attention  that  the  lawyers  add 
a  conservative,  stable  and  safe  quality  to  democratic  institutions 
and  that  they  are  the  only  aristocratic  element — aristocratic  in 
the  political  sense — which  can  be  advantageously  and  perma- 
nently combined  with  them.  By  elevating  the  lawyer  the  public 
testifies  in  the  strongest  possible  way  to  the  respect  and  honor 
in  which  it  holds  us.  The  interests  of  the  people  and  our 
interests  are  indissolubly  connected.  And  it  is  this  interrelation 
that  makes  a  matter  of  vital  importance  the  attainment  of  pro- 
ficiency in  the  technique  of  the  law  and  proficiency  in  the  dis- 
cernment of  the  most  delicate  shades  of  meaning  in  the  philoso- 
phy of  the  law  and  also  in  compounding  all  the  elements  of 
the  law  for  the  strongest  possible  showing  within  the  law  for 
one's  side  of  a  case,  which  may  mean  life  or  death,  liberty  or 
punishment  to  an  individual  or  to  some  part  of  society.  This 
attainment  is  possible  only  to  those  who  love  the  craftsmanship 
of  the  profession.  And  to  the  man  who  has  this  proficiency, 
with  this  touch  of  affection  and  pride,  and  that  high  standard 
of  professional  conscience  which  is  above  mere  personal  honesty 
— to  that  man  the  law  is  an  inspiration  second  to  that  of  no 


OUR  JEALOUS  MISTRESS  — THE  LAW  311 

other  profession,  unless  it  be  that  of  the  clergy.  And  if  society 
is  above  the  individual  and  if  to  serve  men  with  the  best  of 
earthly  blessings  is  to  serve  God  best,  as  the  Bible  declares,  then 
there  is  no  profession,  to  that  man  or  to  us,  superior  to  the 
profession  of  the  law. 

To  such  a  man  as  I  have  described,  the  law  is  an  art.  It  has 
capabilities  for  that  finish  and  completeness  which  skill  trans- 
lates into  art,  and,  like  other  arts,  ceaseless  striving  is  necessary 
to  raise  it  to  that  high  level  and  to  keep  it  there.  It  has  well 
been  said  that  the  law  is  a  jealous  mistress.  We  are  in  everlast- 
ing and  happy  bondage  to  her.  On  you,  gentlemen,  and  on  all 
other  lawyers  who  not  only  know  the  letter  of  the  law  but 
understand  it  in  this  true  way  devolves  the  high  service  to  the 
profession  and  to  mankind  of  preserving  in  it  its  supremely 
vital  excellences,  that  they  may  not  perish  from  inward  decay. 
On  you  who  love  the  law  falls  a  mantle  of  perfected  skill  and 
that  high  ambition  which  refuses  to  tolerate  the  slovenliness 
of  haste  in  the  work  of  the  law  and  the  vulgarity  of  that  com- 
mercial instinct  which  uses  it  purely  for  private  gain.  Speak- 
ing from  the  purely  utilitarian  standpoint,  however,  I  do  not 
believe  that  there  is  any  handicap  whatever  in  this  view  of  the 
law,  for  I  have  observed  that  the  men  of  greatest  eminence  in 
the  profession  have  been  of  this  high  quality,  and  also,  I  believe 
they  have  made,  on  an  average,  the  most  money  out  of  the  law. 
Public  opinion  penalizes  the  man  who  does  not  have  a  proper 
regard  for  the  honor  of  his  profession.  To  use  a  strictly  up-to- 
date  comparison  in  the  realm  of  sportsmanship,  it  is  the  nervy 
driver  with  the  greatest  knowledge  of  mechanics,  the  greatest 
care  that  all  its  laws  are  obeyed,  and  the  greatest  respect  for 
the  rules  of  the  sport,  who  is  most  likely  to  win  the  ** classic" 
five-hundred-mile  motor  race  these  days,  and  he  is  also  the  man 
who  is  likely  to  get  the  big  purse.  The  high  sportsmanship  of 
our  profession  is  the  high  honor  of  it. 

And  so,  gentlemen,  I  give  you  our  jealous  mistress,  the  Law. 
For  that  consolation  which  some  of  our  contemporary  literary 
men  refuse  us,  I  wish  to  quote  and  to  honor  by  coupling  with 


312  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

her  in  this  toast  an  ancient  literary  man,  that  appreciative 
oriental  sage  who  said,  "The  men  in  the  market  are  despicable, 
and  the  handicraftsmen  are  rude,  and  the  merchants  are  avari 
cious,  but  it  is  the  lawyers  who  are  the  kings  of  the  people." 


THE  LAW  AND  THE  LADY. 

Frederick  G.  Fleetwood. 

Mr.  Fleetwood,  of  the  Vermont  Bar,  felicitously  responded  to  this 
toast  at  a  meeting  of  the  Vermont  Bar  Association. 

Mr.  President  and  Brothers  in  Law:  The  Law  and  the 
Lady ;  the  one  always  troublesome  to  a  lawyer,  the  other  equally 
vexatious  to  a  bachelor.  Both  are  uncertain,  variable,  varying, 
requiring  constant  interpretation.  The  one  harks  back  to  prece- 
dent, the  other  is  a  creature  of  the  compelling  present.  The 
authority  of  the  one  rests  on  the  written  opinion,  the  authority 
of  the  other  fastens  itself  to  the  spoken  word.  The  centuries 
bound  the  age  of  the  one,  the  other  never  crosses  the  great 
divide  of  forty  years.  Reason  fortifies  the  one,  emotion  controls 
the  other.  The  great  commandment  of  the  one  is,  "Thou  shalt 
not;"  the  credal  statement  of  the  other  is,  "I  will."  Both 
delight  in  declarations  and  pleas.  Rejoinders  are  rare  in  the 
one  but  persistently  present  in  the  other.  Replications  appear 
in  the  one,  supplications  are  the  life  of  the  other.  Mergers  are 
common  to  the  one  while  the  other  is  never  merged  or  submerged 
but  is  ever  paramount.  Estoppels  often  bar  the  application  of 
the  one  but  never  control  the  conduct  of  the  other.  Both  fre- 
quently use  the  aid  of  twelve  good  men  and  true. 

The  relations  of  the  Law  and  the  Lady  have  been  three- 
phased.  First  came  the  period  of  infraction,  then  the  age  of 
subjection  and  finally  the  era  of  enfranchisement.  The  first 
lady  of  the  land  did  what  we  commensals  are  doing,  she  ate 
what  she  ought  not.  Disaster  followed  her,  dyspepsia  follows 
us.  As  a  penalty  for  her  transgression  she  was  cast  out  of  the 
garden  of  Eden  along  with  her  husband  with  no  reduction  of 
sentence  through  good  behavior.  She  should  have  been  placed 
upon  probation,  which  would  not  have  harmed  her  and  might 
have  purged  her.    As  it  is  we  are  tainted,  tinctured  and  tar- 

313 


314  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

nished  with  this  great  fault  of  our  forbears.  In  revenge  for 
this  disregard  of  its  precepts  the  law  at  once  overwhelmed  the 
lady  with  punishments.  Moses  had  no  faith  in  her  vow  but 
allowed  her  husband  or  brother  to  disallow  it.  She  could  not 
inherit,  when  men  were  born  to  the  household.  She  could  not 
obtain  a  divorce,  for  that  right  was  reserved  exclusively  to  the 
husband. 

Buddha  classed  her  as  a  mere  chattel  without  freedom,  liberty 
or  rights.  The  Roman  law,  at  least  to  the  time  of  the  luxurious 
Augustus,  gave  her  no  privileges.  She  could  neither  be  tutor, 
curator,  witness  or  surety.  She  could  make  no  wiU,  could  not 
contract,  was  unable  to  adopt  or  to  be  adopted.  She  was  even 
under  the  complete  control  of  husband  or  kinsman.  The  com- 
mon law  continued  her  disabilities.  Her  property  became  her 
husband's,  she  could  not  sue  or  be  sued  singly  and  was  other- 
wise laden  with  heavy  burdens.  If  a  woman  committed  the 
crime  of  simple  larceny,  sentence  of  death  could  be  passed  upon 
her,  while  a  man  for  the  commission  of  the  same  offense  was 
only  punished  by  being  burned  in  the  hand  or  given  a  few 
months  of  imprisonment.  If  a  baron  killed  his  femme  it  was  the 
same  as  if  he  had  killed  a  stranger.  If  a  femme  killed  her 
baron  she  was  punished  as  in  case  of  treason,  and  it  was  the 
same  as  if  she  had  killed  her  king. 

The  modem  law  looks  with  disfavor  upon  the  early  subjuga- 
tion of  the  lady  and  has  freed  her  from  nearly  all  restraints. 
Like  Minerva,  who  sprang  full-armed  from  the  brain  of  Jove, 
she  is  now  strongly  fortified  by  the  law  and  can  enter  upon  the 
contest  of  life  on  an  equality  with  men.  In  Vermont  few  rights 
and  privileges  are  now  denied  her.  The  suffrage  has  not  been 
conferred  upon  her,  but  ere  long  we  men  may  be  desirous  of 
granting  her  that  right  in  order  to  purify  conditions  of  our 
own  creating. 

The  hour  demands  that  I  should  now  leave  the  subject  and 
the  presence  of  the  lady.  The  rules  of  court  can  be  compressed 
into  small  compass,  but  the  rules  of  courting  cannot  be  indexed, 
copied  or  revised, — ^they  spring  from  the  heart  and  make  captive 
the  head. 


THE  LAW  AND  THE  LADY  315 

The  truth  of  the  matter  is,  the  lady  is  above  the  law.  To 
apply  to  her  the  fine  phrase  of  Virgil, '  *  By  her  mien  she  reveals 
herself  a  goddess,"  the  goddess  of  our  hearts  and  homes. 
Statutes  cannot  define  her  affections,  constitutions  cannot  limit 
her  sympathy,  the  opinion  of  the  court  cannot  abridge  her  sacri- 
fice.   Her  law  is  life  and  the  soul  of  her  life  is  love. 


THE  SPIRIT  OF  THE  FATHERS. 

William  Allen  Wood. 

An  appreciation  given  at  an  annual  dinner  of  the  Indiana  Society 
of  Sons  of  tlie  Revolution. 

Mr.  President  and  Gentlemen  of  the  Sons  of  the  Revolution : 
You  flatter  me  to-night  by  assigning  me  a  subject  that  is  so  rich 
in  opportunity  for  high  thought  and  embellished  rhetoric.  It 
is  a  subject  with  which  I  can  scarcely  bring  myself  to  dally, 
lest  it  seem  I  am  trying  to  lower  it  from  the  elevated  plane  on 
which,  at  our  best,  we  are  wont  to  conceive  it.  Spiritual  things 
are  spiritually  discerned,  and  I  believe  that,  had  your  committee 
been  a  little  less  myopic  in  its  discernment,  some  other  of  you, 
with  greater  spiritual  insight  than  myself,  would  have  been 
chosen  to  make  this  response. 

The  reverence  with  which  we  regard  the  fathers  is  no  whit 
lessened  by  the  foresight  mankind  is  trying  to  exercise — ^through 
eugenics,  the  promotion  of  peace,  and  many  other  agencies — 
for  the  benefit  of  posterity.  Ruskin  beautifully  said,  *  *  Consider 
whether  we  ought  not  to  be  more  in  the  habit  of  seeking  honor 
from  our  descendants  than  from  our  ancestors;  thinking  it  bet- 
ter to  be  nobly  remembered  than  nobly  born;  and  striving  so 
to  live,  that  our  sons  and  our  sons'  sons,  for  ages  to  come,  might 
still  lead  their  children  reverently  to  the  doors  out  of  which 
we  had  been  carried  to  the  grave,  saying,  'Look,  this  was  his 
house,  this  was  his  chamber.'"  And  Tennyson  gave  us  this 
fine  reflection: 

Trust  me,  Clara  Vere  de  Vere, 

From  yon  blue  heavens  above  us  bent. 

The  kind  old  gardener  and  his  wife 

Smile  at  the  claims  of  long  descent. 

Howe'er  it  be,  it  seems  to  me 

'Tis  only  noble  to  be  good; 

Kind  hearts  are  more  than  coronets 

And  simple  faith  than  Norman  blood. 

ana 


THE  SPIRIT  OF  THE  FATHERS  317 

But  the  implication  in  both,  true  as  they  are  in  a  general  way, 
is  that  heredity  is  only  physical  and,  perhaps,  social.  "To  be 
nobly  remembered,"  as  Ruskin  puts  it,  presupposes,  however,  a 
person  to  remember  who  is  capable  of  appreciating  the  nobility 
of  those  who  have  been  high  and  good  in  character.  In  the 
quotation,  Ruskin  makes  use  of  such  persons,  **the  sons  and 
sons'  sons  for  ages  to  come."  And  this  brings  me  to  the  point 
that  there  is  a  spiritual  as  well  as  a  physical  heredity,  and  that 
the  care  we  are  taking  now  that  the  posterity  of  this  generation 
shall  have  advantages  that  we  have  not,  is  part  and  parcel  of 
the  strong,  fine  spirit — that  divine  selfishness — that  made  the 
fathers  seek  a  habitation  where  economic  and  spiritual  oppres- 
sion should  affect  them  less.  We  are  too  much  accustomed  to 
think  of  heredity  in  its  physical  and  social  aspects  only;  espe- 
cially when  Mendel,  Galton,  Thompson,  Davenport  and  the 
others  who  have  studied  hereditary  influences  and  effects  assure 
us  that  character  and  personality  are  likewise  transmissible.  Gal- 
ton, in  his  book  Hereditary  Genius,  says,  "I  propose  to  show  a 
man's  natural  abilities  are  derived  by  inheritance  under  exactly 
the  same  limitations  as  are  the  form  and  physical  features  of  the 
whole  organic  world."  In  a  lecture  he  said,  "Whether  it  be  in 
character,  disposition,  energy,  intellect  or  physical  power,  we 
each  receive  at  our  birth  a  definite  endowment,  allegorized  by  the 
parable  in  St.  Matthew,  some  receiving  many  talents,  others 
few,  but  each  person  being  responsible  for  the  profitable  use  of 
that  which  has  been  entrusted  to  him."  In  biology  we  read  of 
the  continuity  of  the  germ-plasm,  that  physical  link  of  the 
individual  with  the  race  and  the  determiner  of  our  physical 
destinies.  In  the  study  of  the  character  we  should  have  an 
expression  that  would  be  anal(^ous  to  that,  an  expression  which 
would  suggest  the  continuity  of  the  spiritual  quality  inherent 
in  the  germ-plasm  and  in  the  people  of  a  certain  line  of  descent 
who  have  not,  through  adulteration  with  greatly  inferior  stock 
and  by  degraded  life,  wiped  out  the  advantageous  spiritual 
qualities  they  have  possessed.  Please  do  not  think,  from  my 
insistence  on  a  spiritual  heredity,  that  I  do  not  recognize  the 
profound  effect  of  environment  and  training,  for  like  Teufels- 


318  AFTER-DINNEE  SPEECHES 

drockh,  **1,  too,  acknowledge  the  all  but  omnipotence  of  early 
culture  and  nurture."  Luther  Burbank  has  said  that  heredity 
is  the  sum  of  the  effect  of  all  past  environment. 

I  am  dragging  you  through  this  labored  introduction  in  order 
to  establish  a  point  of  view  and  to  suggest  to  you  that  you 
have  a  more  intimate  association  of  qualities  in  common  with 
the  fathers  than,  perhaps,  you  had  thought  of;  in  a 
moment  we  will  examine  what  was  the  spirit  of  the 
fathers  this  generation  should  admire  in  them,  that  it 
should  cultivate  in  itself  and  that  it  should  strive,  through 
right  living  and  proper  mating,  to  transfer  to  posterity.  I  may 
remark  here,  as  a  further  scientific  digression,  that  the  distin- 
guishing characteristics  of  particular  strains  are  considerably 
modified  by  mixtures  with  strains  of  different  characteristics, 
but  that  through  the  beneficence  of  nature,  which  tends  to  pre- 
serve the  strongest  characteristics  in  each  of  two  uniting  strains, 
and  through  the  apparently  fortuitous  principle  of  atavism, 
which  is  likely  to  reproduce  later  a  characteristic  that  has  been 
temporarily  lost,  those  distinguishing  characteristics  are  likely 
in  the  end  to  dominate  again,  reinforced  by  characteristics  that 
have  been  acquired  through  advantageous  mixtures.  It  is  the 
glory  of  our  common  humanity  that,  while  one  family  line  may 
be  preserving  and  developing  one  fine  trait,  another  family  line 
may  be  preserving  and  developing  another  fine  trait,  and  a 
felicitous  union  of  the  two  makes  progeny  superior  to  either. 
I  mention  this  because  I  believe  there  is  as  much  latent  bravery 
and  spirit  of  self-sacrifice  for  principle  to-day  as  there  was  in 
the  days  of  the  Revolution,  having  only  to  bring  to  witness  what 
we  know  of  the  heroes  of  the  Civil  and  the  Spanish  w^ars,  to 
recall  only  the  most  important  conflicts  within  the  memory  of 
most  of  those  here.  The  failure  of  a  characteristic  to  secure 
expression  does  not  indicate  it  has  failed  of  transmission.  As 
the  blood  that  flows  in  your  veins  is  not  only  derived  from  one 
or  more  men  who  fought  in  the  Revolution — in  the  case  of  one 
of  our  members,  eleven  of  his  direct  ancestors  have  been  proved 
to  have  served  in  the  cause  of  American  Independence — but,  in 
some  instances,  has  been  reinforced  by  the  blood  of  those  who 


THE  SPIRIT  OF  THE  FATHERS  319 

took  part  in  our  later  struggles,  I  have  no  fear  of  encountering 
in  you  a  lack  of  discernment  of  any  appreciation  of  the  spirit 
of  the  fathers  I  might  offer,  or  of  striking  an  unsympathetic 
chord  in  you  when  I  praise  them  for  physical  bravery  which 
was  based  on  spiritual  strength.  Then,  too,  we  are  not  so  far 
removed,  on  the  average,  from  the  Revolution  after  all — ^in  our 
Indiana  Society  now  are  two  men  whose  immediate  fathers  were 
soldiers  in  the  Revolutionary  war — so  that  the  spirit  of  '76  in 
you  should  still,  to  an  appreciable  extent,  respond  to  the  spirit 
of  '76  in  your  Revolutionary  ancestors.  And  knowing  so  many 
of  you  well,  as  I  do,  I  truly  believe  that  if  you  were  quartered, 
you  would  show,  both  ways,  red,  white  and  blue  all  the  way 
through. 

History — long  past  history — changes  in  its  phases  as  does 
science.  One  historian  uses  facts  combined  with  some  imagina- 
tion and  produces  a  good  historical  story;  another  discovers 
documents  on  some  phase  that  changes  what  has  been  written. 
So  historical  truth,  as  presented  to  us,  is  variable,  as  have  been 
scientific  and  religious  truths.  I  shall  not,  therefore,  try  to  dig 
deep  into  history.  If  there  was  one  great  fault  our  colonial 
ancestors  had,  it  was  their  persistence  in  seeking  absolute  truth. 
One  of  the  greatest  of  modem  preachers,  F.  W.  Robertson, 
expressed  the  proper  attitude  with  regard  to  truth,  I  believe, 
when  he  said  "truth  is  composed  of  two  opposite  propositions, 
and  should  therefore  be  taught  suggestively  and  not  dog- 
matically." Most  of  our  ancestors  came  to  this  country  to  rid 
themselves  of  oppression  of  one  kind  or  another — religious, 
political,  or  industrial — but  as  soon  as  they  got  here  they  became 
as  absolute  and  oppressive  in  their  views  as  had  been  their 
oppressors.  Yet  their  attitude  in  general,  notwitlistanding  their 
dogmatism,  was  admirable.  The  oppression  of  established  religion 
and  of  aristocratic  domination  that  sent  some  of  our  progen- 
itors here,  and  the  industrial  oppression,  or  at  least  the  seek- 
ing of  a  more  favorable  industrial  environment,  that  sent  others, 
was  all  due  to  their  innate  desire  for  liberty  proportioned  to 
their  conception  of  opportunity  in  life.  When  this  oppression 
followed  them  over  here  and  England  tried  to  impose  on  them 


320  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

taxation  without  representation,  trial  across  the  seas,  and  other 
forms  of  injustice,  they  showed  that  supreme  sign  of  spiritual 
and  physical  vitality  in  any  individual  or  people,  the  will  to 
fight.  Whatever  may  be  said  for  the  glories  of  peace,  and  much 
can  be  said,  nothing  appeals  to  me  so  strongly  as  the  offer  of 
one's  life  for  a  principle  when  there  is  no  other  way  to  secure 
the  right.  It  is  trite  but  true  that  man  cannot  give  anything 
more  precious  than  his  life.  Life  is  the  jewel  for  which  we  sur- 
render all  other  jewels,  except  where  love  of  right,  as  we  con- 
ceive it,  or  of  some  other  human  life  dominates  our  own  desire 
to  live.  So  that  when  a  soldier,  who,  with  a  strong  love  of  life, 
but  with  a  dominating  patriotism,  bares  his  breast  to  the 
enemy's  sword  and  shell,  he  is  entitled  to  the  highest  praise 
that  man  can  give  and  the  highest  reward  God  can  bestow.  It 
is  the  core  of  heat,  the  virtue  of  fight,  that  makes  every  other 
virtue  effective.  It  is  the  spirit  of  fight  that  keeps  man  at  his 
physical  and  spiritual  best.  This  is  recognized  by  contemporary 
psychologists  who,  arguing  for  peace,  offer  substitutes  for  war 
in  the  form  of  industrial  competition.  But  as  the  highest  forms 
of  industrial  competition  are  more  or  less  cooperative,  it  is  a 
poor  substitute.  I  do  not  believe  a  substitute  ever  will  be  found 
for  war  or  for  the  spirit  which  begets  it,  though  I  do  not  believe 
it  is  necessary  that  that  spirit  should  always  find  exercise  in  war 
in  order  to  insure  its  preservation.  The  instinct  for  life  and  for 
right  are  perpetual,  and  our  own  intelligence  will,  I  believe,  keep 
us  from  becoming  like  tame  birds  who  do  not  recognize  the 
difference  between  the  master  and  the  fowler,  and  meet  disaster 
through  their  tameness.  The  spirit  of  fight  will  still  live  in  us, 
and  if  there  come  other  times  when  it  must  be  shown,  it  will 
arise  spontaneously,  doubtless,  as  it  has  in  the  past. 

The  fighting  spirit  was  all  the  more  credit  to  our  ancestors, 
since  they  belonged  to  a  race  in  which  life  was  most  precious, 
most  vital,  most  worth  preserving.  In  any  race  which  is  indi- 
vidually progressive,  in  which  collectivism  and  individualism 
are  properly  balanced,  that  is,  where  collectivism  is  only  so  far 
developed  as  to  insure  the  greatest  amount  of  the  highest  type 
of  individualism,  there  life  is  held  in  highest  esteem.    But  there 


THE  SPIKIT  OF  THE  FATHERS  321 

is  no  doubt  that  the  ideals  of  a  country  are  more  precious  than 
the  lives  of  its  citizens.  Lives  are  to  be  spent  but  ideals  are  to 
be  maintained  as  long  as  they  are  ideals.  China  and  India  have 
lives  innumerable,  but  these  countries  could  well  afford  to  sacri- 
fice half  their  lives  for  ideals  and  ideas  that  would  develop  the 
rest.  Life  means  mastery  and  assimilation  of  the  outward  forces 
of  existence  to  our  own  betterment.  The  eagle  and  the  lion  are 
not  kings  of  bird  and  beast  by  accident,  but  because  their  striv- 
ings were  in  the  directions  in  which  they  excel.  And  our  Anglo- 
Saxon  progenitors,  and  our  Colonial  fathers,  and  our  Revolution- 
ary sires  were  not  the  innumerous  but  progressively  triumphant 
conquerors  and  kings  among  men  because  they  were  complacent 
yielders  to  conditions  as  they  existed.  The  democratic  Puritan 
was  always  a  rebel  in  attitude.  The  spirit  of  '76  was  near  a 
century  and  a  half  old  in  him  before  it  flashed  into  rebellion 
against  the  English  nation.  The  aristocratic  Cavalier,  likewise, 
having  developed  through  industrial  conditions  a  beneficent 
oligarchy  that  permitted  him  to  follow  the  hounds  in  fox  hunt- 
ing, while  the  New  Englanders  were  still  imbued  with  the  spirit 
that  had  made  their  parents  find  their  chief  amusement  in  specu- 
lation as  to  how  many  angels  or  souls — I  forget  which — could 
be  accommodated  on  the  point  of  a  needle — ^the  Cavalier,  also, 
inheritor  of  fighting  spirit,  rushed  to  arms  as  soon  as  his  rights 
were  threatened  from  without.  And  so,  when  war  was  declared, 
the  people  of  the  states  were  forged  into  a  nation  through  the 
heat  of  the  spirit  of  fight.  The  townsman  of  Massachusetts  and 
the  country  gentleman  of  Virginia  put  away  personal  differences 
of  opinion  in  view  of  the  common  enemy  that  was  more  threaten- 
ing to  their  peace  and  safety  than  either.  They,  of  common 
Anglo-Saxon  origin,  were  foremost  to  oppose  their  mother  coun- 
try. The  Dutch,  with  a  phlegmatic  love  of  ease,  passive  in 
nature,  without  the  audacity  of  will  that  characterizes  either 
political,  religious,  or  industrial  genius — ^this  admirable  people, 
though  industrious  in  their  small  ways,  contributed  little  to  the 
ferment  resulting  in  the  rebellion.  Likewise  with  the  Germans 
of  Pennsylvania — and  I  have  a  Pennsylvania  German  strain — 
and  the  other  people  of  other  origins.    It  was  the  Anglo-Saxons 


322  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

with  the  spiritual  and  material  ambition  that  dignifies  manhood, 
the  Anglo-Saxons  with  desire  for  knowledge,  culture,  refinement, 
justice,  wealth,  luxury,  that  stood  guard  at  the  portals  of  their 
land  and  fought  the  enemies  who  would  despoil  them  of  their 
liberty  and  opportunities.  And  it  is  the  ideals  of  these  Anglo- 
Saxons  that  we  must  maintain  now  and  in  the  future  in  America 
so  that  the  prediction  of  Gobineau  that  "America  is  likely  to 
be,  not  the  cradle  of  a  new  race,  but  the  grave  of  an  old 
race"  will  not  be  fulfilled.  The  Greeks  called  man  anthropos, 
which,  I  am  told,  means  "one  with  face  turned  upward."  If 
this  be  an  interpretation  of  man,  our  ancestors  were  men.  The 
faces  of  the  fathers  were  ever  turned  upward,  whether  their 
minds  were  trying  to  fathom  the  mystery  of  sin  and  suffering 
in  New  England,  or  whether  they  were  solving  industrial  prob- 
lems over  their  tobacco  and  toddy  in  the  balmy,  perfume-laden 
air  of  Virginia.  The  New  England  pine,  with  its  bristly 
branches,  and  the  fascinatingly  beautiful  magnolia  of  the  South 
fitly  symbolize  the  personalities  of  the  two  most  prominent 
groups  of  our  common  ancestry,  with  both  of  which  we,  with 
modern  sympathies,  have  so  much  in  common. 

At  this  banquet  board  sit  those  who  enjoy  the  fruits  of  our 
ancestors'  struggles,  not  alone  against  native  and  foreign  nations, 
but  with  nature,  in  transforming  wildernesses  into  fruitful  fields. 
"We  are  the  product  of  a  long  and  varied  fight  by  a  vigorous, 
virile,  dominating  race.  When  we  think  that  neither  Dutch, 
French  nor  Spanish  settlers  of  America  have  left  a  single  endur- 
ing law  or  a  single  enduring  institution — the  code  Napoleon  in 
Louisiana  being  a  weak  exception  on  the  part  of  the  French — ^we 
realize  a  little  what  a  powerful  strain  we  come  from.  The  true 
American  has  always  been  a  fighter,  and  always  will  be  if  he 
progresses,  and  if  I  might  suggest  a  line  of  fighting  activity  to 
keep  sharp  our  instinct  for  both  spiritual  and  physical  self- 
defense  and  progress,  I  would  suggest  the  field  of  municipal 
politics,  where  an  occasional  skirmish  with  corrupt  machines  on 
the  part  of  good  citizens  would  in  many  places  secure  us  better 
government  right  at  home.  The  spirit  that  will  take  men  to  local 
and  national  primaries,  under  inconvenience  to  business,  in  bad 


THE  SPIRIT  OF  THE  FATHERS  323 

Weather,  is  more  akin  to  the  spirit  of  the  fathers  than  selfish 
industrial  competition.  And  let  me  emphasize  that  it  is  our 
nature,  our  blood,  our  spirit  that  is  the  arbiter  not  only  of  our 
own  destiny  but  also  of  the  destiny  of  our  country.  The  country 
is  as  much  dependent  on  us  to-day  as  it  was  on  the  fathers  in  the 
beginning ;  it  is  not  so  much  we  who  are  dependent  on  the  coun- 
try. Herbert  Spencer,  in  his  autobiography,  says,  "Whereas  in 
the  days  of  early  enthusiasm,  I  thought  that  all  would  go  well  if 
government  arrangements  were  transformed,  I  now  think  that 
transformation  in  governmental  arrangements  can  be  of  use 
only  in  so  far  as  they  express  the  transformed  natures  of  citi- 
zens." Our  descent  in  time,  then,  from  our  colonial  fathers 
should  correspond  in  the  ascent  of  personal  responsibility  in  the 
less  spectacular  fields  of  government  and,  to  avoid  extremes  of 
socialism  and  other  harmful  ends,  in  our  accountability  for  our 
neighbors.  In  this,  perhaps,  some  of  us  Sons  are  remiss.  But, 
in  time  of  national  danger  from  without,  I  feel  I  know  what  the 
Sons  would  do — ^there  would  not  be  one  who,  in  spirit,  at  the 
blast  of  the  war  trumpet,  would  not  thrillingly  leap  to  the  front, 
unsheath  his  sword  and  stand  at  salute,  whether  or  not  the  body 
have  capacity  for  fierce  conflict. 

Notwithstanding  my  praise  of  the  spirit  in  men  that  makes 
them  dare  everything  for  what  they  believe  is.  right,  there  is  a 
futility  in  war  to-day,  so  far  as  the  individual  man  is  concerned, 
that  did  not  exist  in  the  time  of  the  fathers.  Permit  me  to  close 
my  remarks  with  an  observation  by  Mr.  E.  V.  Lucas,  in  his 
Wanderer  in  London.  I  have  no  comment  to  make  on  it.  Mr. 
Lucas  visited  the  museum  of  Old  Whitehall  Palace.  There  is  a 
collection  of  artillery  in  the  vaults,  old  and  modem  guns,  naval 
and  field  guns,  shells  and  grenades,  and  all  the  paraphernalia 
of  war.  **A11  these,"  says  Mr.  Lucas,  "can  be  studied  here 
under  the  direction  of  an  old  soldier  whose  work  never  flags  and 
who  shows  you  with  much  gusto  how  to  work  a  Maxim  gun  which 
fires  670  rounds  a  minute  and  at  2000  yards  can  be  kept  playing 
back  and  forth  on  a  line  of  men  400  yards  long.  'Acts  like  a 
mowing  machine,'  says  the  smiling  custodian,  'beautiful!  Cuts 
*em  down  like  grass !    Goes  through  three  at  once  sometimes,  one 


824  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

behind  the  other.' "  **It  was  with  the  unique  and  perplexing 
capabilities  of  this  machine,"  continues  Mr.  Lucas,  ** perfected 
A.  D.  1904,  in  my  mind,  that  I  emerged  into  Whitehall  again, 
and  was  conscious  instantly  on  the  other  side  of  the  way  of  the 
Horse  Guard  sentries,  each  motionless  on  his  steed.  'I  know 
what's  in  store  for  you,'  I  thought  to  myself,  'cuts  'em  down 
like  grass.  Goes  through  three  at  once  sometimes. '  Such  things 
make  it  almost  a  work  of  supererogation  to  be  bom:  reduce  a 
mother's  pangs  to  a  travesty;  at  least  when  she  is  the  mother  of 
a  soldier.  How  odd  it  all  is ! — Nature  on  the  one  hand  building 
us  up  so  patiently,  so  exquisitely,  cell  on  cell,  and  on  the  other 
Sir  Hiram  Maxim  arranging  for  his  bullets  to  go  through  three 
at  once !    It  is  too  complicated  for  me.    I  give  it  up." 


THE  RISE  OF  SCIENCE  IN  THE  PAWPAW  DISTRICT. 

Meredith  Nicholson. 

Remarks  of  George  Barr  McCutcheon,  Toastmaster. 

At  the  fourth  annual  banquet  Of  the  Indiana  Society  of  Chicago, 
held  at  the  Congress  Hotel,  December  the  eleventh,  1908,  Mr.  Joseph 
H.  Defrees,  president  of  the  Society,  made  the  opening  remarks  and 
read  telegrams  from  several  distinguished  members  and  invited  guests 
who  could  not  be  present.  He  happily  complimented  the  committees 
on  their  work,  and  then  said:  It  becomes  my  privilege,  gentlemen,  to 
Introduce  to  you  the  Lord  of  Graustark,  and  of  many  other  titles 
which  denote  royalty,  Mr.  George  Barr  McCutcheon.  [Applause.] 
He  is  to  be  our  toastmaster  this  evening. 

Mr.  McCutcheon  spoke  as  follows:  I  have  always  maintained  that 
the  chief  duty  of  a  toastmaster  is  to  be  as  brief  as  possible.  Let  him 
attain  his  end  as  speedily  as  possible  and  he'll  be  praised  for  his  logic, 
If  for  nothing  else,  especially  by  gentlemen  who  are  down  for  speeches 
later  on.  If  he  is  a  good  toastmaster,  he  can  make  a  hit  by  saying 
little;  if  he  is  a  poor  one  he  can  make  a  still  greater  one  by  saying 
less.  [Applause.]  So  you  see,  the  rule  works  both  ways,  and  I  am  not 
going  to  take  any  chances  by  doing  either  way  if  I  can  help  it.  The 
principal  function  of  a  toastmaster  presiding  over  an  Indiana  banquet, 
of  course,  is  to  remind  the  Indianians  assembled  that  they  come  from 
the  most  glorious  state  in  the  Union.  [Applause.]  He  is  reasonably 
safe  in  making  such  an  assertion  if  he  waits  until  the  banquet  has 
progressed  as  far  as  this  one  has.  Even  those  unlucky  persons  who 
emanate  from  other  states  and  who  happen  to  be  here  as  our  honored 
and  welcomed  guests  are  not  now  in  a  position — I  almost  said  condi- 
tion— to  dispute  the  statement.  At  least,  you  can't  do  so  politely. 
[Laughter  and  applause.]  In  any  event,  we'll  all  agree  that  at  a 
commonwealth  banquet  it  doesn't  so  much  matter  what  state  we're 
from  as  what  state  we're  in.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  So  we  will 
admit,  for  the  sake  of  argument,  that  those  of  us  who  came  from 
Indiana  have  the  right  and  reason  to  feel  proud  of  the  fact.  I  never 
go  to  New  York  but  that  I  say  to  myself,  "Thank  Heaven,  I  came 
from  Lafayette!"  And,  gentlemen,  those  of  us  who  came  from 
Lafayette  are  no  longer  unique  in  our  glory.  Just  recently  we 
acquired  the  right  to  say  that  the  prize  steer  at  the  live  stock  show 
came  from  Lafayette.    [Applause  and  laughter.] 

325 


326  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

I  lived  In  Indiana  for  thirty-five  years  and  I  am  happy  to  say  I 
have  never  outgrown  It.  Whatever  It  Is,  I  have  had  It  since  I  was 
born;  you  may  travel  the  world  over  and  you'll  never  find  an  Indianlan 
who  is  thoroughly  cured  of  his  birth.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  In 
strange  lands,  when  you  tell  them  you  are  from  Indiana,  they  may  ask 
you  if  the  buffalo  and  the  Hoosier  are  still  running  wild,  but  you  have 
the  satisfaction  of  knowing  how  Ignorant  the  rest  of  the  world  is. 
I  think  it  is  in  Boston  where  they  still  believe  that  there  Is  nothing 
west  of  Buffalo  but  buffaloes.     [Applause  and  laughter.] 

To  show  you  how  small  we  are  as  individuals,  I  was  recently  In- 
troduced to  a  very  distinguished  and  aged  capitalist  in  New  York. 
I  could  see  by  his  manner  that  he  had  never  heard  of  me.  My  friend 
mentioned  two  or  three  of  my  books.  He  was  very  polite  but  also 
non-committal;  I  am  sure  he  had  never  heard  of  them.  Then  my 
friend  said  that  I  was  a  brother  of  John  McCutcheon.  It  conveyed 
nothing  to  him.  As  a  last  hope — ^and  perhaps  jestingly — It  was  men- 
tioned that  I  was  one  of  the  group  of  Indiana  authors.  "Indiana,"  he 
exclaimed,  perking  up  at  once,  his  face  beaming.  "Why,  I  once  knew 
a  man  from  Indiana."  We  became  very  chummy  after  that,  talking 
about  this  friend  of  his  whom  I  had  never  seen  or  heard  of,  a  fact 
which  seemed  to  surprise  him.  I  explained  that  perhaps  the  gentle- 
man had  left  Indiana  before  I  was  born.  And  It  seems  that  he  had. 
As  a  matter  of  fact,  he  died  before  I  was  born.  But  he  was  from 
Indiana,  and  as  such  I  was  willing  to  rejoice  over  him,  dead  or  alive; 
it  Is  one  of  our  unwritten  laws.    [Laughter.] 

Indiana  makes  more  laws  than  any  state  In  the  Union  and  breaks 
fewer  of  them — openly.  If  you  meet  an  expatriated  Indianian  any- 
where in  the  world,  he  does  not  ask  you  at  once  how  the  folks  are  at 
home.  He  always  asks,  first  of  all,  "Well,  what's  the  Legislature  doing 
out  there  now?"    [Laughter.] 

But  I  am  afraid  I  am  drifting.  My  duty  Is  to  present  to  you,  in 
a  few  well  chosen  words,  the  gentlemen  who  are  to  do  the  real  work 
of  the  evening.  So  many  bright  men  have  come  from  Indiana  that  It 
Is  always  a  source  of  wonder  that  there  are  still  so  many  bright  ones 
there.  Don't  misunderstand  me;  I  am  not  paraphrasing  the  remark 
credited  to  one  of  our  most  distinguished  citizens.  I  simply  mean 
to  say  that  our  supply  never  gives  out;  It  doesn't  even  run  low. 

The  Indiana  Society  of  Chicago  has  had  three  banquets.  It  Is 
reasonably  safe  to  assume  that  we  have  had  nearly  all  that  is  physical 
of  the  fourth  annual  feast.  But  we  have  not  had  the  best  of  it;  four 
fine  Hoosiers  are  yet  to  be  served.  [Applause.]  Now,  if  you  will  per- 
mit me  to  express  the  hope  that  I  have  not  outstayed  my  welcome,  as 
we  say  in  Indiana,  and  to  thank  you  for  the  honor  you  have  bestowed 
upon  me,  I  will  proceed  at  once  with  such  trifiing  formalities  as  the 


RISE  OF  SCIENCE  IN  PAWPAW  DISTRICT       327 

Introduction  of  gentlemen  whose  names  are  already  household  words 
and  who  are  quite  as  well  known  in  Chicago  as  they  are  in  Indiana — 
even  to  the  envious,  unhappy  millions  who  have  no  place  at  our  board 
to-night. 

It  seems  that  it  is  an  easy  thing  for  an  Indianian  to  be  an  author; 
but  it  is  quite  another  thing  to  be  a  successful  one,  [laughter  and 
applause]  one  whom  everyone  in  the  land  talks  about  in  a  kindly  way 
as  if  he  were  speaking  of  a  personal  friend.  The  first  speaker  of  the 
evening  has  achieved  this.  He  has  achieved  even  more;  he  has  been 
blazoned  from  Indianapolis  to  Calcutta,  and  while  he  is  not  yet  as  well 
known  in  India  as  he  is  in  Indiana,  you  can  find  his  books  there. 
We'll  pass  by  "The  House  of  a  Thousand  Candles,"  and  we'll  not  linger 
in  "The  Port  of  Missing  Men."  "The  Little  Brown  Jug  of  Kildare" — 
you  all  know  what  its  influence  has  been  in  the  literary  world  during 
the  past  three  months.  But,  aside  from  literature,  it  has  also  been  a 
grave  and  potent  factor  in  other  directions.  I  am  reliably  informed 
that  "The  Little  Brown  Jug"  actually  carried  Indiana  in  the  last 
election.  [Applause  and  laughter.]  Gentlemen,  permit  me  to  intro- 
duce the  man  who  evolved  "The  Little  Brown  Jug,"  Mr.  Meredith 
Nicholson,  of  Indianapolis,  who  will  tell  us  of  The  Rise  of  Science  in 
the  Pawpaw  District.     [Prolonged  applause.] 

IVEr.  Toastmaster  and  Gentlemen :  I  am  very  glad  to  have  an 
opportunity  to  identify  myself  with  this  distinguished  body  of 
real  Hoosiers,  for  the  reason  that  in  some  quarters  it  has  been 
intimated  that  I  am  a  Swede.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  For 
several  years  I  was  in  exile  in  Colorado,  and  while  there  I  noticed 
that  a  great  many  Swedes  in  distress  appealed  to  me,  and  by  the 
time  I  wac  leaving  there  I  grew  a  little  tired  of  this.  So  finally 
when  a  man  applied  to  me  one  day  in  the  street  and  wanted  to 
get  back  to  his  native  fiords  and  asked  a  little  help,  I  said,  after 
I  had  given  him  a  little  de-Bryanized  silver  [laughter] — I  said, 
"Would  you  mind  telling  me,  now  that  this  little  commercial 
transaction  has  been  concluded,  why  you  have  applied  to  me?" 
"Why,"  he  answered,  "is  you  not  a  Swede?  Is  you  not  Nick 
Olson?"     [Laughter.] 

It  has  been  said  on  authority  of  a  good  book — ^which  was  not 
written  in  Indiana — that  a  good  name  is  rather  to  be  chosen 
than  great  riches.  My  name  has  been  a  source  of  embarrass- 
ment to  me  for  a  number  of  years.  Some  of  you  gentlemen 
who  may  be  acquainted  with  the  Indiana  Penal  Code  have  heard 


328  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

of  the  Nicholson  Law.  I  did  not  write  that  Nicholson  Law. 
[Applause  and  laughter.]  I  won't  say  that  I  don't  approve 
of  it,  but  I  am  not  the  author  of  that  particular  work,  though  it 
has  been  to  me  a  source  of  very  great  embarrassment. 

Some  of  you  gentlemen  who  do  not  enjoy  my  intimate  per- 
sonal acquaintance  may  not  know  that  I  am  what  they  call  down 
where  I  come  from  an  *  *  old-fashioned  Hoosier  Fried  Meat  Demo- 
crat." [Applause  and  laughter.]  At  one  time  I  had  some 
slight  political  aspirations.  I  thought  last  summer  that  I  heard 
the  call  of  the  people.  I  thought  the  people  had  risen.  [Laugh- 
ter.] If  they  wanted  to  rise,  I  was  not  going  to  do  anything 
to  set  them  back,  so  I  offered  myself  as  a  candidate  for  the 
State  Senate.  It  was  an  organization  spoken  of  occasionally 
with  respect  by  the  people,  and  it  seemed  to  be  of  good  moral 
character.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  I  had  seen  how  my 
young  and  blithe  friend,  Senator  Beveridge,  enjoyed  being  a 
senator.  Of  course,  there  is  not  much  difference  between  being 
a  United  States  senator  and  a  senator  from  Marion  county. 
Sometimes  when  I  have  read  these  terrible  exposures  of  senators 
I  have  felt  that  it  is  more  respectable  to  be  a  senator  in  the 
Indiana  Legislature  than  in  Congress;  but,  I  offered  myself, 
under  our  new  primary  law,  and  at  once  got  into  a  lot  of 
trouble.  I  am  afraid  that  our  Indiana  Democrats,  whom  I  love 
dearly,  know  more  about  the  Penal  Code  than  they  do  about 
Indiana  fiction.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  I  was  an  author, 
but  they  only  knew  the  author  of  the  Nicholson  Bill.  That  was 
one  trouble  I  got  into  when  I  went  out  for  the  franchises  of  the 
people,  and  another  thing  was  that  the  Civic  League  endorsed 
me  [laughter  and  applause] ;  they  called  attention  to  my  moral 
character.  Now,  my  moral  character,  gentlemen,  is  a  thing  I 
have  never  pointed  to ;  I  have  never  braced  about  it,  and  it  was 
impudent  of  the  Civic  League  to  call  attention  to  it.  There  I 
was  getting  letters  from  temperance  societies,  taking  me  for  the 
author  of  the  Nicholson  Bill  and  the  man  who  has  done  so  much 
to  put  down  the  rum  power,  and  here  was  the  Civic  League  call- 
ing attention  to  my  qualifications  for  the  office.  Now,  in  my 
party,  gentlemen,  qualifications  do  not  qualify.    [Laughter  and 


RISE  OF  SCIENCE  IN  PAWPAW  DISTRICT        329 

applause.]  I  was  defeated.  The  saloons  even  spent  money  to 
defeat  me.  Now,  the  gentlemen  here  who  know  me  well  under- 
stand that  I  never  did  anything  to  hurt  a  distillery  or  a  vineyard. 
In  my  poor  weak  way  and  up  to  my  limited  capacity,  I  have 
done  all  that  I  could  to  help  them  pay  dividends.  [Laughter 
and  applause.]  But  I  must  pass  into  history  as  a  man  who  was 
caught  between  the  Civic  League  and  the  rum  demon. 
[Laughter.] 

You  hear  a  great  deal  about  Indiana  politics  and  Indiana 
literature,  but  you  hear  less  about  Indiana  science.  I  have 
undertaken  to  speak  of  science  because  there  is  a  subject  on 
which  my  qualifications  to  speak  take  on  perfect  magnificence 
and  splendor.  I  don't  know  anything  about  science,  for  unlike 
Mr.  Ade  and  several  of  the  McCutcheons  [prolonged  laughter 
and  applause]  I  did  not  enjoy  a  scientific  education.  I  won't 
say  before  this  intelligent  body,  with  all  these  educators  preseiit 
— on  this  matter  of  science — I  won't  say  that  I  don't  think  the 
earth  is  round,  but  I  will  say  that  nobody  has  ever  proved  it 
to  my  entire  satisfaction.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  The  only 
science  that  I  really  ever  grasped  was  the  science  followed  by 
Professor  Robert  Fitzsimmons.  I  have  always  regretted  that  I 
did  not  take  that  up;  it  would  help  me  with  the  critics. 
[Applause  and  laughter.]  The  science  of  medicine  has  always 
appealed  to  me  particularly.  It  has  gratified  me  to  see  how 
much  of  the  Hoosier  flora  has  been  used  in  the  science  of  medi- 
cine. Where  would  the  human  race  be  but  for  our  rhubarb  and 
our  sassafras?  The  fruit  of  the  pawpaw  is  the  greatest  nerve 
tonic  in  the  world,  and  it  is  a  fine  pomade  for  the  hair.  Nobody 
who  has  ever  used  it  for  axle  grease  would  accept  any  worthless 
imitation.     [Laughter.] 

I  have  known  a  good  many  of  the  medical  fraternity.  A 
surgeon  of  my  acquaintance  in  Indianapolis  was  lately  called 
down  into  one  of  our  southern  counties  to  a  very  obscure  place 
to  perform  an  operation.  When  he  got  there,  he  found  it  was 
an  emergency  operation;  the  man  was  very  ill.  He  made  such 
hurried  preparations  as  he  could  and  took  such  precautions  as 
he  could  in  the  humble  cottage,  and  found  that  night  was  com- 


330'  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

ing  on.  He  looked  at  the  window,  and  every  window  pane  had 
a  face;  the  whole  country-side  had  come  to  see  this  cutting 
scrape.  So,  as  it  was  a  little  dark  and  the  place  ill-lighted,  he 
wanted  somebody  to  hold  the  lamp  during  the  operation,  and  a 
gentleman  stepped  forward  and  offered  his  services.  "Now," 
the  surgeon  said,  "I  don't  want  any  nonsense  about  this.  If 
you  are  squeamish  and  not  used  to  the  sight  of  things  of  this 
sort,  you'd  better  go  out  and  get  somebody  else."  **0h,  no," 
the  man  said,  "it  will  be  all  right,"  and  he  took  the  lamp  and 
came  up  and  stood  over  the  scene  of  the  operation.  The  surgeon 
had  his  sleeves  rolled  up  and  was  ready,  but  he  wanted  to  give 
the  man  a  last  chance,  and  he  said:  "You  are  not  used  to 
chloroform,  and  if  this  kind  of  thing  makes  you  sick,  I  don't 
want  you  to  do  it ;  there  is  to  be  no  fainting  in  this,  or  anything 
of  that  kind,"  "Oh,"  said  the  man,  "you  need  not  be  afraid  of 
me ;  I  'm  the  village  undertaker. ' '    [Laughter  and  applause.] 

I  have  some  data  that  at  an  auspicious  time  I  propose  to  file 
relating  to  Science  in  Indiana,  and  the  first  item  dates  back 
to  1648,  when  the  Indians  in  Terre  Haute  first  used  toadstool 
sauce  as  a  dressing  for  their  broiled  dog.  [Laughter.]  They 
found  it  easy  to  make,  so  they  began  to  can  this  sauce  and  sent 
it  as  a  peace  offering  to  tribes  with  which  they  were  at  war,  and 
this  marked  a  very  good  tendency  in  Indian  warfare.  It  trans- 
formed into  pleasant  pastime  what  had  been  merely  a  brutal 
enjoyment.     [Laughter.] 

An  humble  school  teacher  in  Morgan  County  in  1817  made 
the  remarkable  discovery  that  a  hickory  rod  about  five  feet  long 
when  applied  to  the  legs  of  a  twelve-year-old  boy  would  induce 
perpetual  motion.  [Laughter.]  In  1856,  it  was  discovered  that 
the  trains  of  the  Monon  railroad  running  down  the  main  hall  of 
the  Lahr  House  at  Lafayette  would  cause  insomnia.  [Prolonged 
laughter  and  applause.] 

The  first  white  man  that  gave  the  first  Indian  a  quart  of 
Peoria  whiskey  invented  paralysis,  which  had  not  been  known 
to  the  Indians.  [Laughter.]  A  farmer  in  Kokomo  discovered 
in  '49  that  it  was  necessary  to  tap  maple  trees  to  make  maple 
syrup,  and  he  thereupon  began  to  make  it  as  a  by-product  of 


RISE  OF  SCIENCE  IN  PAWPAW  DISTRICT       331 

car-waste.  [Laughter,]  An  Indiana  chemist  sitting  in  his 
laboratory  late  at  night  discovered  that  the  sugar  of  commerce 
was  identical  with  the  Tippecanoe  river  sand.  [Laughter.]  Dur- 
ing a  thunder  storm,  a  mound  builder  first  discovered  electricity 
while  leaning  against  a  sycamore  tree  near  Vincennes. 
[Applause.]  Patiently  swallowing  a  million  kilowats,  he  smiled 
and  looked  up  and  said,  "Here  is  where  I  anticipate  Benjamin 
Franklin. ' '     [Laughter.] 

The  value  of  water  for  bathing  purposes  was  known  early 
among  our  people.  [Laughter.]  This  has  been  disputed,  how- 
ever, by  the  statisticians  of  Massachusetts.  [Laughter.]  In 
poultry  culture,  we  have  not  been  idle.  While  he  was  taking 
an  agricultural  course  at  Purdue  University,  Mr.  George  Ade 
delved  deeply  into  this  branch  of  science.  Mr.  Ade  has  done 
nothing  in  literature  that  aroused  greater  admiration  than  his 
charming  brochure  entitled,  * '  The  Cultivation  of  Broilers  on  the 
Great  White  Way."     [Prolonged  laughter  and  applause.] 

In  his  seventeenth  year,  while  a  student  at  DePauw  Univer- 
sity, a  sorrel  youngster  named  Beveridge  discovered  that  his 
own  voice  had  hypnotic  power;  thereupon,  he  went  out  and 
invented  a  machine  which  has  become  the  wonder  of  political 
dynamics.     [Laughter  and  applause.] 

The  fact  that  the  Sunday  school  ice  cream  is  deadly  poison 
was  first  learned  by  a  Fort  Wayne  boy  in  1862.  After  a  long 
and  painful  illness,  he  resolved  to  lead  an  evil  life.    [Laughter.] 

One  of  the  early  settlers  of  Zionsville  was  slightly  winged  in 
a  fight  with  the  Indians.  After  the  fight  he  stood  up  and  found 
he  had  been  scalped.  Now  any  of  you  gentlemen  who  have  been 
scalped  will  know  that  if  you  try  to  scratch  your  head  after 
being  scalped  it  is  very  embarrassing.  [Laughter.]  This  poor 
pioneer  hastened  into  the  nearest  village  and  organized  our  first 
Anti- Vivisection  Society.     [Laughter  and  applause.] 

In  the  spring  of  1908,  that  eminent  philosopher,  Tom  Mar- 
shall, of  Columbia  City,  found  a  four-leaved  clover  and  pinned 
it  on  his  coat  and  went  into  a  trance  and  saw  that  Governor 
Frank  Hanly  was  going  to  try  to  purify  the  Republican  party 
by  having  a  special  session  of  the  Legislature.    Mr.  Marshall 


332  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

resolved  at  once  to  become  the  Democratic  candidate  for  gover- 
nor. On  the  morning  of  the  fourth  of  November,  he  telegraphed 
the  Patent  Office  as  follows:  "Please  send  papers  at  once;  I 
have  found  and  nailed  down  the  psychological  moment." 
[Applause.] 

I  would  like  to  mention  some  even  more  illustrious  names 
than  those  I  have  mentioned  in  connection  with  Indiana  science. 
In  the  first  quarter  of  the  nineteenth  century  there  lived  at  New 
Harmony  one  of  the  most  remarkable  groups  of  scientists  that 
ever  assembled  in  America.  Here  was  "William  McClure,  the 
founder  and  for  twenty  years  the  president  of  the  American 
Academy  of  Science ;  Gerard  Troost,  who  had  been  a  teacher  in 
Pestalozzi's  school  in  Switzerland.  A  wonderful  book  for  that 
time  was  his  work  on  American  Conchology,  printed  in  New 
Harmony  and  handsomely  illustrated.  James  B.  Eads,  the  great 
engineer,  was  born  at  Lawrenceburg  and  lived  for  a  time  at 
Brookville.  It  was  Eads  who  built  the  first  bridge  across  the 
Mississippi  at  St.  Louis,  Why  he  should  have  thus  brought 
St.  Louis  in  contact  with  the  United  States  I  don't  know. 
[Laughter.]  "William  T.  Hornaday,  a  native  of  Hendricks 
County,  is  head  of  the  Zoological  Park  of  New  York.  Pro- 
fessor H.  W.  "Wiley,  the  distinguished  chemist  in  the  Agricul- 
tural Department  at  Washington,  a  native  Hoosier,  taught  nine 
years  at  Purdue  University  and  was  state  chemist.  Thomas 
Moore,  a  native  of  Indianapolis  and  a  graduate  of  Wabash  Col- 
lege, discovered  the  methods  of  inoculating  soil  so  that  old, 
worn-out  earth  may  be  made  again  productive,  a  discovery  of 
inestimable  value  to  the  country. 

I  need  not  go  further  in  mentioning  the  distinguished 
educators,  like  the  Gouchers,  who  have  done  much  to  bring 
renown  to  Indiana.  I  must  not  miss  George  Reisner,  who  was 
at  thirty  years  of  age  in  charge  of  the  most  important  excava- 
tions made  in  Egypt.  He  is  classed  among  the  best,  and  he  leads 
every  other  Egyptologist  in  excavating  mummies  and  introduc- 
ing them  to  the  public.  I  once  heard  Reisner  lecture  on  his 
excavations  in  Egypt,  and  I  am  confident  that  he  dug  up  more 
Egyptians  than  ever  died.    [Applause  and  laughter.] 


RISE  OF  SCIENCE  IN  PAWPAW  DISTRICT       333 

This  is  a  very  superficial  glance  at  some  of  these  names, 
which  I  have  done  largely  to  offset  the  great  clamor  about 
Indiana  authors,  because  I  really  think  science  is  respectable. 
[Laughter.]  I  should  fall  far  short  of  my  purpose  if  I  failed 
to  mention  Purdue  University  and  Rose  Polytechnic  Institute, 
which  have  done  so  much  to  elevate  and  hold  high  the  standard 
of  Indiana  scientific  education.     [Applause.] 

We  all  know  that  states  differ  as  the  stars  differ  one  from 
another  in  glory,  and  you  will  pardon  me  if  I  state  that,  by 
means  of  this  Society  here,  you  keep  alive  the  thoughts  of  home 
and  tease  yourselves  with  homesickness.  There  are  indubitable 
differences  between  the  states ;  and  those  of  you  who  elect  to  live 
in  Illinois,  dwelling  as  we  may  say  in  partihus  infidelmm,  please 
us  by  your  remembrance,  and  it  helps  us  all  back  home  at  our 
work,  and  we  put  in  a  little  better  lick  because  we  know  you  are 
not  ashamed  of  us  but  are  always  ready  with  the  glad  approv- 
ing hand.    I  thank  you,  gentlemen.    [Prolonged  applause.] 


WHERE  WE  COME  FROM. 

Newton  Booth  Tabkington. 
Eemarks  of  John  T.  McCutcheon,  Toastmaster. 

The  third  annual  banquet  of  the  Indiana  Society  of  Chicago  was 
held  at  the  Congress  Hotel  the  evening  of  January  twenty-eighth, 
1908.  The  master  of  ceremonies,  Mr.  John  T.  McCutcheon,  the  well- 
known  cartoonist,  introduced  Mr.  Tarkington  as  follows:  Gentlemen, 
It  is  a  great  pleasure  to  introduce  a  man  you  have  all  heard  about. 
He  has  written  many  great  things.  If  I  were  to  refer  to  him  as  "The 
Grentleman  from  Indiana"  you  would  suspect  to  whom  I  was  referring. 
If  I  were  to  say  that  he's  "The  Man  from  Home,"  I  might  also  reveal 
the  identity  of  the  next  speaker,  all  of  which  would  be  bad  tactics  in 
a  toastmaster.  I  must  say  that  we  have  with  us  to-night  one  whom 
we  all  delight  to  honor;  one  whose  name  is  a  household  word;  one 
whose  work  has  reflected  much  glory  on  your  state  and  given  much 
gratification  to  his  fellow  statesmen.  Perhaps  you  may  have  an 
inkling  of  his  identity.  Down  at  Purdue  University  in  the  early  90's 
we  all  predicted  that  he  would  be  a  great  man  if  he  only  tried,  but 
we  feared  that  he  would  not  try.  He  has  fooled  us  and  succeeded. 
Gentlemen,  it  gives  me  great  pleasure  to  introduce  Mr.  Booth  Tarking- 
ton, who  will  respond  to  the  toast.  Where  We  Come  From. 

Mr.  Toastmaster  and  Gentlemen :  I  feel  that  the  least  I  can 
do  to  show  my  appreciation  of  your  kindness  in  allowing  me  to 
be  here  to-night  would  be  to  have  prepared  you  in  some  manner 
for  the  kind  of  speech  I  am  going  to  make.  A  long  time  ago 
I  was  a  candidate  for  the  Indiana  Legislature,  and  the  campaign 
managers  told  me  that  I  would  have  to  make  speeches.  I  did; 
that  is,  I  made  two.  [Laughter.]  Those  speeches  attracted  the 
attention  of  William  Jennings  Bryan  in  his  own  newspaper. 
You  may  feel  that  I  am  speaking  too  much  of  my  own  achieve- 
ments, but  I  cannot  refrain  from  reminding  you  that  The  Com- 
moner referred  to  me  and  my  orations,  devoting  several  para- 
graphs which  led  up  to  an  important  place  among  the  editorials. 
It  said:    **Mr.  Tarkington  made  two  speeches  during  the  recent 

334  - 


WHERE  WE  COME  FROM  335 

campaign.  On  the  first  occasion  he  is  reported  to  have  suffered 
so  from  stage  fright  that  he  was  unable  to  utter  a  syllable.  From 
what  we  have  read  of  his  second  effort  we  think  it  is  a  pity  he 
didn't  have  it  both  times."  [Laughter.]  Unless  it  be  considered 
too  wide  a  digression,  I  might  best  state  that  in  spite  of  my  oratory 
I  succeeded  in  being  elected,  but  I  hope,  however,  your  commit- 
tee didn't  invite  me  to  address  you  to-night  from  the  same 
motive  that  brought  me  the  solid  vote  of  the  farmers  in  Marion 
County.  Friends  of  mine  were  out  on  election  day  who  asked  a 
group  of  farmers  whom  they  were  for.  '  *  We  are  all  for  Tarking- 
ton  out  here,"  they  said.  "We  want  him  to  get  in."  This  puz- 
zled my  friends  a  little,  because  they  couldn't  think  of  anything 
I  had  done  to  arouse  any  particular  enthusiasm  among  the  farm- 
ers. So  one  of  my  friends  asked  them  why  they  were  so  strong 
for  me.  ''Why,"  they  said,  '*we  want  to  see  what  the  darned 
fool  will  do."     [Laughter.] 

"From"  is  not  the  important  word  in  my  speech,  as  it  is  in 
that  sentence,  "the  wise  men  came  from  the  east."  Of  course 
they  did.  We  emphasize  where  we  come  from,  because  no  mat- 
ter where  we  go  we  are  always  from  Indiana.  We  don't  quit 
being  from  Indiana.  Hoosiers  we  remain.  I  never  knew  but 
one  man  who  did  quit.  He  went  abroad  when  he  was  about 
eighteen  or  twenty,  and  he  stayed  too  long.  In  time  he  gave  up 
being  from  Indiana  altogether  and  became  a  British  subject. 
Why,  I  almost  hesitate  to  speak  of  the  horrible  punishment 
which  overtook  him.  "Vengeance  is  mine,"  saith  the  Lord, 
and  in  time  he  smote.  This  young  man  had  tried  to  look  like  an 
Englishman  for  so  long,  he  had  talked  like  one  so  long,  that  at 
last  you  could  not  tell  him  from  one,  and  if  that  is  not  a  horrible 
punishment  I  don't  know  what  it  is.    [Laughter.] 

Pride  of  birthplace  is  a  conspicuous  quality.  Of  course  for 
some  places  there  is  no  pride  at  all.  I  don 't  know  that  anybody 
ever  selected  Southern  Patagonia  to  be  born  in,  deliberately,  nor 
Timbuctoo.  If  anybody  did  select  one  of  these  places  he  prob- 
ably didn't  brag  of  his  birthplace  in  after  years.  We  probably 
might  add  London  to  this  list.  No  Londoner  ever  showed  any 
particular  excitement  about  being  born  in  London.    If  two  Lon- 


336  APTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

doners,  strangers  to  each  other,  met  by  accident  in  the  middle  of 
the  Sahara,  it  probably  would  not  develop  at  all  where  they  were 
born.  They  were  born  some  place,  but  if  it  were  to  develop,  it 
would  excite  the  same  enthusiasm  in  them  as  a  Beethoven  sonata 
would  in  a  ham.  [Laughter.]  But  it  seems  to  me  Hoosiers 
would  find  each  other  out  and  have  elected  a  President  of  the 
United  States  from  Indiana  within  ten  minutes  after  they  arrive, 
even  if  they  got  no  further  from  home  than  the  lobby  in  a  hotel 
near  Columbus,  Ohio.  The  fact  is,  none  of  us  has  ever  quite  got 
over  being  from  Indiana.  It  seems  as  if  we  were  not  sure  we 
deserved  it.  And  wherever  we  go  the  fact  that  we  are  from 
Indiana  seems  to  have  something  of  the  pleasantness  of  good 
news.  So  we  mention  it.  [Laughter.]  Not  that  we  brag.  We 
leave  that  to  our  friends  in  the  suburbs,  our  good  neighbors  and 
friends  in  the  bordering  states. 

When  I  was  in  college  one  of  my  club-mates  was  a  Ken- 
tuckian.  You  know  the  style  of  his  patriotism.  It  is  only  neces- 
sary for  me  to  mention  that  he  was  from  Louisville.  You  know 
that  the  first  thing  he  worships  is  Louisville,  then  Kentucky, 
then  the  Deity,  then  the  United  States  as  a  whole,  concluding 
with  Indiana.  [Laughter.]  One  day  we  were  discussing  the 
population  of  our  different  great  cities,  and  the  Kentuckian 
carelessly  remarked  that  the  population  of  Louisville  was 
250,000,  whereupon  a  gentleman  from.  New  Jersey  drew  forth 
the  table  of  the  census,  giving  the  official  figures  at  Louisville  of 
175,000,  a  difference  of  75,000  from  the  Kentuckian 's  statement. 
The  company  looked  to  see  him  show  some  signs  of  confusion, 
but  he  didn't  even  blush.  On  the  contrary  he  coolly  explained 
that  just  before  the  reports  of  that  census  were  to  be  closed  in 
Washington  the  census  taker  for  the  largest  ward  in  Louisville 
was  hurrying  to  catch  the  last  mail  that  would  get  to  Wash- 
ington in  time,  when  he  fell  down  a  well  and  was  drowned,  and 
unfortunately  the  books  showing  just  75,000  names  were  under 
him  arm  at  the  time  and  it  took  so  long  to  fish  them  out  and 
get  them  properly  blotted  that  the  reports  closed  without  them. 
[Laughter.]  He  said  the  circumstances  were  familiar  to  every 
Kentuckian,  and  I  haven't  a  doubt  that  you  could  not  have 


WHERE  WE  COME  FROM  337 

found  a  citizen  in  the  length  and  breadth  of  Louisville  that 
would  not  have  corroborated  his  statement. 

Our  neighbors  do  seem  to  stretch  the  facts  a  little  sometimes, 
but  I  don't  see  that  we  can  altogether  blame  them.  So  often 
they  seem  to  feel  it  is  an  absolute  necessity.  And  it  is  not  alto- 
gether owing  to  our  superior  virtues  that  we  do  not  stretch  the 
facts  about  Indiana.  It  is  because  you  cannot.  You  cannot  lie 
about  Indiana.  It  is  all  true.  Anything  of  any  kind  that  any 
Hoosier  ever,  said  about  Indiana  is  true.  For  instance,  George 
Ade,  when  in  Rome  two  years  ago,  told  a  cardinal  that  Indiana 
was  one  of  the  thirteen  original  states.  [Laughter.]  Isn't  thai 
true?  Of  course  it  is.  Indiana  is  not  only  one  of  the  thirteen 
original  states,  it  is  the  most  original  state  there  is.    [Laughter.] 

There  was  a  time,  as  we  all  know,  when  the  great  life  pur- 
pose of  our  eastern  cousins  seemed  to  be  to  make  fun  of  Indiana. 
They  did  bravely.  At  least  their  jokes  were  founded  on  facts, 
and  traces  of  these  old  traditions  are  still  found  among  them. 
I  have  known  men  to  mention  Indiana  in  an  eastern  hotel  as 
containing  a  cosmopolitan  people  like  a  group  photograph  of  a 
Christian  Endeavor  Society  in  the  early  ages.  [Laughter.]  The 
common  easterners  express  surprise  that  we  do  not  regard  the 
term  "Hoosier"  as  a  taunt.  A  taunt,  when  we  know  it  refers 
to  the  people  of  Indiana !  Of  course  we  do  not  claim  there  are 
not  some  pretty  poor  specimens  amongst  us  here  and  there.  You 
find  them  in  Indiana  just  as  you  find  bad  people  in  a  church, 
and  for  the  same  reason — they  come  there  to  get  better. 
[Laughter,] 

We  know  that  our  Indiana  is  a  young  state.  Old  only  in 
honor  and  in  the  affections  of  her  sons,  and  in  the  pride  of  their 
heritage  that  they  are  from  Indiana.  In  the  words  of  the  Hon. 
H.  P.  Sherman,  of  Decatur:  **Well,  we  know  the  green  old  state 
of  Indiana  will  go  crashing  down  the  ages  with  her  head  up  and 
her  tail  over  the  dashboard."  [Laughter.]  I,  however,  mixed 
the  metaphor.  Every  man  of  us  holds  to  this  same  sentiment, 
and  I  thank  you  for  the  honor  and  privilege  of  being  with  you 
to-night.    [Applause.] 


CORPOEATIONS  A  LA  MODE. 

William  Allen  Wood. 

This  toast  was  delivered  at  a  dinner  of  the  Phi  Gamma  Delta  col- 
lege fraternity. 

Brother  Toastmaster  and  Brothers:  I  suppose  there  are 
those  among  you  who  think  corporations  served  a  la  mode  are 
corporations  roasted.  That  is  indeed  a  popular  way  to  serve 
them,  but  it  is  neither  a  very  palatable  nor  a  fair  way,  and  the 
corporations  and  myself  are  too  good  friends  for  me  to  treat 
them  in  that  manner,  at  least  seriously.  Being  a  lawyer  of  the 
corporation  variety,  I  fall  within  a  class  that  has  met  some  share 
of  undiscriminating  public  condemnation.  The  public  seems 
to  think  the  corporation  lawyer  is  like  a  certain  divinity  student 
of  whom  I  once  heard.  He  went  from  the  divinity  school  to 
preach  a  trial  sermon,  and,  on  his  return,  was  greeted  by  one  of 
the  professors  in  the  institution.  *'How  did  you  get  on  with 
your  sermon  ? ' '  inquired  the  professor.  ' '  First  rate,  first  rate,  * ' 
said  the  student.  "What  was  your  text?"  asked  the  professor. 
**  'How  shall  ye  escape  if  ye  neglect  so  great  a  salvation?'  " 
answered  the  young  man.  **A  good  text,"  said  the  professor, 
**and  how  did  you  treat  it?"  "First,"  said  the  student,  "I 
showed  'em. how  great  this  salvation  is,  and,  second,  I  showed 
*em  how  to  escape  if  they  neglected  it."  The  function  of  the 
corporation  lawyer  is  not,  I  assure  you,  without  arguing  the 
point,  to  show  the  corporations  how  to  escape  the  laws  when 
they  violate  them,  but  it  is  a  constructive  function,  a  coordina- 
tion of  law  and  righteous  business  practice  that  is  as  valuable 
to  the  commercial  life  of  America  to-day  as  was  the  judicial 
practice  of  Lord  Mansfield,  of  England,  to  the  Law  Merchant 
of  his  time  and  since.  So  I  feel  quite  respectable  when  I  stand 
before  you  and  acknowledge  that,  in  an  humble  way,  I  am  a 
lawyer  of  the  corporation  kind.  Moreover,  I  may  state  that  I 
do  not  need  either  your  assistance  or  your  sympathy  in  my  pro- 

338 


CORPORATIONS  A  LA  MODE  339 

fessional  condition,  as  it  is  a  matter  of  judicial  record,  in  the 
case  of  Latta  versus  Lonsdale,  107  Federal  Reporter,  that  "cor- 
poration lawyers  have  the  opportunity  and  are  quite  able  and 
capable  of  taking  care  of  themselves." 

John  Kendrick  Bangs  has  defined  the  *  *  Copperation "  as  "a 
Creature  devised  by  Selfish  Interests  to  secure  the  Free  Coinage 
of  the  Atlantic  Ocean,"  and  adds: 

"Little  drops  of  water, 
Plenty  of  hot  air. 
Make  a  copperation 
A  pretty  fat  affair." 

I  myself  have  defined  the  corporation,  but  in  so  serious  a  way 
that  I  am  afraid  it  would  make  you  weep  after  Mr.  Bangs'  juicy 
definition,  so  I  shall  not  impose  my  own  on  you.  If  there  are 
some  of  you  who  like  the  corporations  roasted,  the  foregoing  will 
suffice,  I  hope,  with  the  following  additional  stanzas  which  I 
shall  recite,  following  the  elocutionary  precedent  set  by  some  of 
our  brothers: 

"A  copperation  is  a  beast. 

With  forty-leven  paws 
That  doesn't  ever  pay  the  least 

Attention  to  the  laws. 

"It  grabs  whatever  comes  in  sight 

From  hansom  cabs  to  socks 
And  with  a  grin  of  mad  delight 
It  turns  'em  into  stocks. 

"And  then  it  takes  a  rubber  hose 
Connected  with  the  sea 
And  pumps  them  full  of  HjO's 
Of  various  degree. 

"And  when  they're  swollen  up  so  stout 
You'd  think  they'd  surely  bust 
They  souse  'em  once  again  and  out 
They  come  at  last  a  Trust. 

"And  when  the  Trust  is  ready  for 
One  last  and  final  whack 
They  let  the  public  in  the  door 
To  buy  the  water  back." 


340  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

If  you  still  have  an  appetite  for  roasted  corporations,  I  refer 
you  to  Hazlitt's  essay,  On  Corporate  Bodies,  or  to  the  speeches 
of  the  disap-** peerless"  leader  of  the  Democratic  party,  which 
show  up  the  corporation  a&  the  right  bower  of  His  Satanic 
Majesty. 

We  hear  much  of  water  in  stock  to-day.  But  you  have 
noticed,  perhaps,  that  few  discover  the  water  in  stock  except 
those  who  dabble  in  it.  The  American  people  have  a  fatal 
tendency  to  play  with  the  corporation,  to  indulge  themselves  in 
beautiful  green  and  gold  certificates  that  look  like  government 
bonds,  to  take  shares  in  some  pot  of  gold  at  the  end  of  a  rain- 
bow, even  when  the  company  would  appear  to  be  like  that  of 
which  dear  old  Colonel  Carter 's  financial  agent  said,  *  *  I  couldn  't 
raise  a  dollar  in  a  lunatic  asylum  full  of  millionaires  on  a  scheme 
like  the  Colonel's."  But  we  have  to  look  with  indulgence  on 
this  frailty  of  our  compatriots — they  are  getting  experience,  and, 
like  most  of  mankind,  experience  is  the  one  thing  they  can't 
accept  without  paying  in  full  for  it.  The  emotions  and  the 
imagination  always  command  their  price  even  when  intelligence 
is  selling  at  a  discount.  The  American  people  are  great,  but 
they  are  not  quite  up  to  old  Noah  yet — ^he  is  the  only  person  so 
far  who  has  been  able  to  float  a  company  when  the  whole  world 
was  in  liquidation. 

I  am  very  heartily  an  advocate  of  the  corporate  form  of  busi- 
ness organization,  Brother  Fijis,  and  I  could  cite  many  eminent 
authorities  who  have  the  same  attitude.  Woodrow  Wilson,  presi- 
dent of  Princeton  University,  has  said:  "I  don't  see  how  our 
modern  civilization  could  dispense  with  corporations.  I  don't 
see  anything  but  the  utmost  folly  in  entering  upon  a  course  of 
destruction  in  respect  to  the  present  organization  of  our  economic 
life."  Our  brother  in  Phi  Gamma  Delta,  Edward  Alsworth 
Ross,  professor  in  the  University  of  Wisconsin,  who  writes  bril- 
liant essays  for  the  Atlantic  Monthly  on  sin  and  society,  says: 
"Corporations  are  necessary.  In  resenting  corporate  sins  we 
must  follow  the  maxim,  'Blame  not  the  tool,  but  the  hand  that 
moves  the  tool.'  "  If  I  were  able,  brothers,  I  would  serve  the 
corporation  to  you,  not  roasted,  but  accompanied  with  the  praise 


CORPORATIONS  A  LA  MODE  341 

of  whipped  cream,  glaeed  fruits,  preserved  marrons,  and  other 
delicacies  and  with  Chateau  Yquem  or  sparkling  Chambertin  or 
Veuve  Cliquot,  and  bunches  of  violets,  and  an  orchestra  playing 
Viennese  waltzes  on  the  side.  In  fact,  the  corporation  is  to  the 
corporation  lawyer,  as  your  best  girl  is  to  you,  a  Parfait  Amour. 
But  the  corporation  is  its  own  excuse;  it  is  attracting  more 
favorable  notice  on  the  part  of  the  intelligent  public  all  the  time 
— already  two-thirds  of  the  business  of  the  country  is  conducted 
under  the  corporate  form,  and  great  minds  are  at  work  trying 
to  perfect  this  form  of  business  conduct  so  that  it  will  be  a  per- 
fect machine,  and  so  that  the  souls  of  its  officers  and  directors 
will  serve  in  lieu  of  a  corporation  soul,  and  so  that  both  the  unit 
of  organization  and  the  members  who  compose  it  will  be  openly 
responsible  for  all  their  acts  to  the  state,  to  the  public,  and  to 
one  another.  The  only  effective  way  to  unify  the  membership 
of  a  large  number  of  men  in  lodges,  unions,  clubs,  secret  societies, 
fraternities,  so  as  to  make  them  a  practically  responsible  business 
person,  so  they  may  stand  before  the  community  and  say,  "We 
are  here  to  deal  honestly  with  you,  but  if  you  think  you  have  not 
been  accorded  all  your  rights,  we  can  easily  be  reached  through 
the  law  which  unites  us  into  a  business  unit,  by  which  we  can 
be  brought  to  justice  as  a  unit,  under  one  name,  so  as  not  to 
compel  you  to  sue  a  collection  of  us  as  individuals" — the  only 
effective  way,  I  say,  to  unify  a  society  to  this  end  is  to  incor- 
porate it. 

The  length  of  an  after-dinner  speech,  it  is  said,  should  corre- 
spond to  that  of  the  ballet  dancer's  skirt,  "qui  commencait  a 
peine  et  fin/isswit  dejd/'  and,  to  follow  the  formula,  I  must  be 
ending.  It  was  an  enthusiastic  member  of  another  fraternity, 
which  I  shall  call  Beta  Kappa  Delta  because  there  is  no  such 
fraternity,  who  exclaimed  in  concluding  a  speech,  "Old  Beta 
Kappa  Delta !  There  she  stands  with  her  glorious  past.  Let  us 
drink  to  her  memory."  It  is  unnecessary  to  comment  on  the 
appropriateness  of  that  toast.  But,  thank  goodness,  we  Fijis 
can  say,  "Ever  young  Phi  Gamma  Delta!  There  she  moves — 
from  a  glorious  past  to  a  more  glorious  future.  Let  us  drink 
to  her  vigorous,  throbbing  life." 


WELCOME  TO  THE  ALUMNI. 

Dr.  Oliver  Wendell  Holmes. 

Dr.  Oliver  Wendell  Holmes,  as  president  of  the  day,  at  the  annual 
dinner  of  the  Harvard  Alumni  Association,  in  Cambridge,  July  nine- 
teenth, 1860,  inaugurated  the  practice  of  public  speaking  at  the 
Harvard  dinners  with  this  address.  That  year  also  took  place  the 
inauguration  of  President  Felton,  an  event  to  which  the  speaker 
alludes  in  his  reference  to  the  "goodly  armful  of  scholarship,  ex- 
perience and  fidelity"  once  more  filling  the  "chair  of  office," 

Brothers,  by  the  side  of  her  who  is  the  mother  of  us  all, 
and  friends,  whom  she  welcomes  as  her  own  children:  The 
older  sons  of  our  common  parent  who  should  have  greeted  you 
from  this  chair  of  office,  being  for  different  reasons  absent,  it 
has  become  my  duty  to  half  fill  the  place  of  these  honored,  but 
truant,  children  to  the  best  of  my  ability — a  most  grateful  office, 
so  far  as  the  expression  of  kind  feeling  is  concerned;  an  unde- 
sired  duty,  if  I  look  to  the  comparisons  you  must  draw  between 
the  government  of  the  association  existing  de  jure  and  its  gov- 
ernment de  facto.  Your  President  [Robert  C.  Winthrop]  so 
graces  every  assembly  which  he  visits  by  his  presence,  his  dig- 
nity, his  suavity,  his  art  of  ruling,  whether  it  be  the  council  of 
a  nation,  the  legislature  of  a  State,  or  the  lively  democracy  of 
a  dinner-table,  that  when  he  enters  a  meeting  like  this,  it  seems 
as  if  the  chairs  stood  back  of  their  own  will  to  let  him  pass  to  the 
head  of  the  board,  and  the  table  itself,  that  most  intelligent  of 
quadrupeds,  the  half-reasoning  mahogany,  tipped  him  a  spon- 
taneous welcome  to  its  highest  seat,  and  of  itself  rapped  the 
assembly  to  order.     [Applause.] 

Your  first  Vice-President  [Charles  Francis  Adams],  whose 
name  and  growing  fame  you  know  so  much  better  than  his 
bodily  presentment,  has  not  been  able  to  gratify  your  eyes  and 
ears  by  showing  you  the  lineaments  and  stirring  you  with  the 
tones  inherited  from  men  who  made  their  country  or  shaped  its 

342 


WELCOME  TO  THE  ALUMNI  343 

destinies.  [Applause.]  You  and  I  have  no  choice  therefore, 
and  I  must  submit  to  stand  in  this  place  of  eminence  as  a 
speaker,  instead  of  sitting  a  happy  listener  with  my  friends  and 
classmates  on  the  broader  platform  beneath.  Through  my  lips 
must  flow  the  gracious  welcome  of  this  auspicious  day,  which 
brings  us  all  together  in  this  family  temple  under  the  benignant 
smile  of  our  household  divinities,  around  the  ancient  altar 
fragrant  with  the  incense  of  our  grateful  memories. 

This  festival  is  always  a  joyous  occasion.  It  resembles  a 
scattered  family  without  making  any  distinction  except  that 
which  age  establishes,  an  aristocracy  of  silver  hairs  which  all 
inherit  in  their  turn,  and  none  is  too  eager  to  anticipate.  In 
the  great  world  outside  there  are  and  must  be  differences  of  lot 
and  position;  one  has  been  fortunate;  another,  toiling  as  nobly 
perhaps,  has  fallen  in  with  adverse  currents;  one  has  become 
famous,  his  name  stares  in  great  letters  from  the  hand-bills  of 
the  drama  of  his  generation ;  another  lurks  in  small  type  among 
the  supernumeraries.  But  here  we  stand  in  one  unbroken  row 
of  brotherhood.  No  symbol  establishes  a  hierarchy  that  divides 
one  from  another ;  every  name  which  has  passed  into  our  golden 
book,  the  triennial  catalogue,  is  illuminated  and  emblazoned 
in  our  remembrance  and  affection  with  the  purple  and  sunshine 
of  our  common  Mother 's  hallowed  past  and  hopeful  future. 

We  have  at  this  time  a  two-fold  reason  for  welcoming  the 
return  of  our  day  of  festive  meeting.  The  old  chair  of  office, 
against  whose  uneasy  knobs  have  rested  so  many  well-compacted 
spines,  whose  uncushioned  arms  have  embraced  so  many  stately 
forms,  over  whose  inheritance  of  cares  and  toils  have  ached  so 
many  ample  brows,  is  filled  once  more  with  a  goodly  armful  of 
scholarship,  experience  and  fidelity.  The  President  never  dies. 
Our  precious  Mother  must  not  be  left  too  long  a  widow,  for  the 
most  urgent  of  reasons.  We  talk  so  much  about  her  maternity 
that  we  are  apt  to  overlook  the  fact  that  a  responsible  Father 
is  as  necessary  to  the  good  name  of  a  well-ordered  college  as 
to  that  of  a  well-regulated  household.  As  children  of  the  Col- 
lege, our  thoughts  naturally  centre  on  the  fact  that  she  has 
this  day  put  off  the  weeds  of  her  nominal  widowhood,  and  stands 


344  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

before  us  radiant  in  the  adornment  of  her  new  espousals.  You 
will  not  murmur,  that,  without  debating  questions  of  precedence, 
we  turn  our  eyes  upon  the  new  head  of  the  family,  to  whom  our 
younger  brothers  are  to  look  as  their  guide  and  counsellor  as  we 
hope  and  trust  through  many  long  and  prosperous  years. 

Brothers  of  the  Association  of  the  Alumni !  Our  own  exist- 
ence as  a  society  is  so  bound  up  with  that  of  the  College  whose 
seal  is  upon  our  foreheads,  that  every  blessing  we  invoke  on  our 
parent's  head  returns  like  the  dew  from  Heaven  upon  our  own. 
So  closely  is  the  welfare  of  our  beloved  Mother  knitted  to  that 
of  her  chief  counsellor  and  official  consort,  that  in  honoring  him 
we  honor  her  under  whose  roof  we  are  gathered,  at  whose  breast 
we  have  been  nurtured,  whose  fair  fame  is  our  glory,  whose  pros- 
perity is  our  success,  whose  lease  of  long  life  is  the  charter  of 
our  own  perpetuity. 

I  propose  the  health  of  the  President  of  Harvard  University : 
"We  greet  our  brother  as  the  happy  father  of  a  long  line  of  future 
alumni. 


THE  GOVERNMENT  BACK  HOME. 

Samuel  Ralston. 

At  the  banquet  of  the  Indiana  Society  of  New  York,  held  December 
fourteenth,  1912,  at  the  Plaza  Hotel,  Governor  Samuel  Ralston,  ol 
Indiana,  responded  to  this  toast. 

Mr.  Toastmaster  and  Hoosier  Exiles:  I  have  traveled  a 
thousand  miles  to  bear  you  a  Hoosier  greeting,  and  if  I  had 
journeyed  a  thousand  times  that  distance  I  should  have  been 
compensated  a  thousand-fold  by  your  cordial  reception.  What- 
ever changes  this  great  metropolis  has  made  in  your  Hoosier 
characteristics,  it  has  not  taken  from  your  hospitality  or  lessened 
your  interest  in  the  success  of  those  who  have  continued  to  live 
in  the  old  home.  It  has  become  a  maxim,  once  in  love  with 
Indiana,  always  in  love  with  Indiana. 

I  was  told  a  story  a  few  days  ago  that  illustrates  how 
strongly  the  Hoosier  is  attached  to  his  state.  On  an  occasion 
when  St.  Peter  was  examining  candidates  for  the  land  of  bliss, 
a  fellow  was  handed  to  him  in  halter.  Upon  his  reception  he 
was  tied  to  a  post  to  await  his  turn  for  inspection.  He  soon 
gave  signs  of  restlessness  and  occasionally  surged  back  on  his 
halter-strap  in  an  effort  to  break  loose.  A  bystander  inquired 
what  was  wrong  with  him.  St.  Peter  promptly  replied,  ''Oh, 
that  fellow  is  a  Hoosier  and  the  fool  wants  to  go  back  to 
Indiana. ' ' 

I  assure  you  that  those  who  have  kept  in  shape  the  house 
you  left  will  not  regard  it  as  an  evidence  of  mental  weakness 
should  you  desire  to  return  to  the  old  home,  whether  it  is  situ- 
ated on  the  romantic  banks  of  the  beautiful  "Wabash  or  is  nestled 
among  the  thriving  industries  bordering  on  Pogue's  Run.*  All 
the  "Marys'  vine-clad  cottages"  are  suggestive  of  beautiful 
sentiments  and  are  naturally  calculated  to  woo  the  exile  back 


■^A  small  stream  running  through  the  centre  of  Indianapolis. 

345 


346  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

to  the  haunts  of  former  days,  where  God's  sunshine  and  land- 
scape and  limitless  bounties  inspire  and  console,  encourage  and 
reward  the  sons  of  men. 

It  was  true  that  the  earth  moved  as  Galileo  maintained, 
although  he  paid  the  penalty  of  pioneership  for  discovering  and 
proclaiming  the  truth.  The  experience  of  Galileo  has  been  the 
experience  on  a  broader  scale  of  governments  and  of  peoples. 
Ridicule  frequently  popularizes,  rather  than  detracts,  from  those 
whom  its  shafts  are  designed  to  injure.  There  was  a  time  when 
the  citizen  of  Indiana  winced  under  the  appellation  **Hoosier," 
but  that  time  has  forever  passed.  Her  sons  and  daughters  of 
industry,  versatility  and  genius  have  spoken  and  the  world  has 
barkened.  Her  history  is  enriched  with  names,  too  numerous 
to  repeat,  that  have  brought  to  her  imperishable  fame.  As 
typical  of  the  large  class  they  represent  in  their  particular  field 
of  labor,  her  Maclures  and  Owens,  her  Egglestons  and  Tarking- 
tons,  her  "Wallaces  and  Nicholsons,  her  Dunns  and  Howes,  her 
Blackfords  and  Mitchells  and  her  Hendrickses  and  Harrisons 
have  all  spoken  the  word  of  authority,  and  following  its  utter- 
ance **Hoosier"  has  become  the  most  significant  word  in  the 
dictionary  of  Indiana  democracy,  shedding  honor  upon  every 
one  who  wears  it. 

I  shall  not  try  to  lure  you  away  from  your  present  home  by 
anything  I  say  to-night.  Ties  formed  in  new  associations  grow 
rapidly  in  strength  under  favorable  circumstances  and  are  pre- 
served with  a  zealous  interest.  I  am  determined  to  say  noth- 
ing that  will  give  your  new  love  a  right  of  action  against  me  for 
damages  for  the  alienation  of  your  affections.  I  respect  the  law 
of  the  stars:  what  love  has  united,  let  no  man  put  asunder. 

Much  as  I  regret  your  moving  out  from  the  old  home  back 
yonder  toward  the  western  sun,  I  still  find  it  in  my  heart  to  com- 
mend you  for  becoming  citizens  of  the  Empire  State.  You  chose 
wisely  after  you  resolved  to  choose  at  all.  Here  liberty  is  held 
sacred.  Here  wealth  abounds  beyond  the  border  lines  of  the 
imagination,  and  charity  is  dispensed  with  a  free  hand.  Here 
the  elements  have  wrought  heroically.    The  earth  has  been  tossed 


THE  GOVERNMENT  BACK  HOME  347 

skyward  and  your  hills  and  palisades  bathe  in  the  first  rays  of 
the  morning  glory. 

You  have  your  bays.  You  have  your  ocean  and  you  have  the 
rolling,  tumbling  waters  of  your  Niagara,  and  you  have  many 
other  advantages  bidding  you  look  upward  in  grateful  apprecia- 
tion, but  there  is  one  thing  you  do  not  have,  and  neither  God 
nor  man  can  give  it  to  you.  You  do  not  have  James  Whitcomb 
Riley's    Old  Swimmin'  Hole. 

"Thare  the  bullrushes  growed,  and  the  cattails  so  tall, 
And  the  sunshine  and  shadder  fell  over  it  all; 
And  it  mottled  the  worter  with  amber  and  gold 
Tel  the  glad  lillies  rocked  in  the  ripples  that  rolled; 

And  the  snake-feeder's  four  gauzy  wings  fluttered  by- 
Like  the  ghost  of  a  daisy  dropped  out  of  the  sky, 
Or  a  wownded  apple  blossom  in  the  breeze's  controle 
As  it  cut  acrost  some  orchurd  to'rds  the  old  swimmin'-hole." 

But  there  are  things  in  the  life  of  a  people  more  significant 
than  mountains,  waters  and  fields.  Their  conception  of  man's 
relation  to  man  as  expressed  in  their  form  of  government  and 
the  laws  they  enact  indicate  more  accurately  the  factor  they 
have  been  in  the  world's  progress  than  do  things  not  of  their 
handiwork.  Measured  by  this  test,  both  New  York  and  Indiana 
can  point  with  glowing  pride  to  their  record.  It  was  on  Golden 
Hill  in  this  city  so  long  ago  as  1770  that  American  blood  was 
first  shed  for  American  liberty.  This  was  a  natural  sequence 
of  the  passage  of  the  charter  of  liberties  by  the  Colonial  Assem- 
bly of  New  York  in  1683,  in  which  the  people  were  for  the  first 
time  recognized  in  this  country  as  the  source  of  government,  and 
in  which  it  was  solemnly  declared  that  "the  supreme  legislative 
authority  shall  forever  be  and  reside  in  a  Governor,  Council 
and  the  people  met  in  General  Assembly." 

Accompanying  this  recognition  of  the  people  as  the  source 
of  government  was  the  announcement  of  that  other  fundamental 
principle  of  civil  government  that  there  should  be  no  taxation 
without  representation ;  and  this  proclamation,  let  it  not  be  for- 
gotten, was  made  almost  a  century  before  the  war  our  fathers 


348  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

fought  to  cast  off  the  power  imposing  taxation  without  repre- 
sentation. 

Shedding  the  first  blood  for  American  liberty;  being  the 
first  in  this  country  to  hail  the  people  as  the  source  of  govern- 
ment, and  being  the  first  of  the  American  Colonies  to  promul- 
gate the  American  doctrine  of  no  taxation  without  representa- 
tion, New  York  deserved  to  witness  the  first  serious  setback 
given  the  British  Army,  in  the  defeat  of  Burgoyne  at  Saratoga. 
If  your  adopted  state  had  never  done  anything  more  toward 
the  achievement  of  American  independence  and  the  founding 
of  the  American  Republic  than  to  be  the  first  to  shed  her  blood 
for  them ;  to  be  the  first  to  recognize  the  people  as  the  source  of 
government;  and  to  be  the  first  to  maintain  that  taxation  with- 
out representation  is  tyranny,  still  she  would  have  given  to 
posterity  ono  of  the  brightest  pages  in  the  world's  history. 

It  would  be  presumptuous,  indeed,  for  Indianans  to  claim 
more  glory  for  their  state  than  is  justly  due  her  older  sister. 
The  latter  has  had  the  advantage  over  the  former  of  many  years* 
experience  in  statecraft — and  yet  Indiana  is  not  without  honor 
for  the  contributions  she  has  made  to  our  national  fortunes. 
You  will  not  forget  that  in  our  Civil  war  she  offered  up  the  first 
life  on  the  field  of  battle  and  the  last  life  on  the  field  of  battle 
that  the  indissolubility  of  the  American  Union  and  the  univer- 
sality of  American  freedom  might  be  forever  established.  In 
that  war  she  sent  to  the  front  one  soldier  or  sailor  out  of  every 
three  inhabitants,  including  children. 

It  is  the  philosophy  of  Indiana  that  the  grandeur  of  a  state 
depends  upon  moral  qualities.  Superior  numbers  do  not  neces- 
sarily mean  superior  virtues.  Territory  is  not  always  synony- 
mous with  honesty,  nor  wealth  with  patriotism,  but  love  of  coun- 
try supported  by  sacrifice  is  a  people 's  highest  ethical  expression. 
Out  in  Indiana  we  have  learned  that  material  progress  is  safe 
progress  so  long  as  wealth  does  its  part  in  suppressing  vice, 
eradicating  disease  and  maintaining  an  enlightened  democracy. 
Vice,  disease  and  ignorance,  unbridled,  do  not  exist  where  society 
is  sound  and  democracy  is  sane. 

For  this  reason  the  masses  of  Indiana  without  regard  tQ 


THE  GOVERNMENT  BACK  HOME  349 

party  affiliations  have  their  faces  to  the  rising  sun.  They  recog- 
nize that  certain  fundamental  principles  underlying  our  gov- 
ernmental structure  are  indispensable  if  our  government  is  to 
continue  to  guarantee  the  protection  of  life,  liberty  and  prop- 
erty; but  they  hold  that  the  fundamentals  of  the  American 
Republic  are  not  antagonistic  to  but  in  harmony  with  and 
essential  to  a  progressive  spirit.  The  fathers  of  this  republic 
builded  broadly  and  wisely.  They  were  evolutionists  in  the  best 
sense  of  that  term.  They  believed  that  American  statesmanship 
would  successfully  meet  any  crisis  in  our  national  life  through 
the  adaptability  of  our  organic  law  to  the  demands  and  needs 
of  the  people,  either  by  means  of  a  wise  interpretation  or  by  an 
orderly  amendment.  Imbued  with  the  spirit  of  the  builders  of 
our  nation,  the  citizenship  of  Indiana  believes  that  any  antag- 
onism existing  between  property  on  the  one  hand  and  the 
public  interest  on  the  other  wiU  ultimately  be  solved  in  a 
manner  to  do  justice  to  both.  Both  have  rights  and  the  legiti- 
mate rights  of  both  must  be  respected  and  preserved. 

But  in  solving  the  questions  between  property  and  the  pub- 
lie,  we  Hoosiers  propose  to  discriminate.  Property  has  rights. 
Privilege  has  none.  The  issue  suggested  by  the  political  and 
commercial  problems  of  the  day  is  not  one  between  the  rich  and 
the  poor.  Rather  it  is  one  between  honest  investment  and  the 
profits  of  promoters — between  money  and  water ;  between  legiti- 
mate increment  and  extortions  of  greed.  We  are  not  hostile  to 
wealth  in  Indiana.  We  believe  in  it  as  we  believe  in  the  pursuit 
of  happiness,  but  we  hold  that  the  dominant  force  in  American 
life  must  be  men — not  dollars.  We  stand  ready,  therefore,  to 
recognize  as  representing  the  highest  order  of  statesmanship  the 
party  or  the  man  devising  a  scheme  for  the  sanest  control  of 
American  industries  with  as  little  regulation  as  possible?. 

But  I  must  conclude.  When  the  British  Commander  at 
Ticonderoga  asked  General  Allen  by  what  authority  he  demanded 
the  surrender  of  the  British  fort,  the  American  general  replied, 
"In  the  name  of  the  Great  Jehovah  and  the  Continental  Con- 
gress." I  leave  with  you  the  thought  that  Indiana  has  become 
great  because  in  moving  forward  with  the  work  assigned  her  in 


350  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

the  sisterhood  of  states,  she  has  yielded  obedience  to  an  over- 
ruling will  and  the  laws  of  the  land. 

From  your  old  friends  in  the  state  you  first  loved  I  bring  you 
the  assurances  of  their  solicitude  that  you  do  not  forget  that 

"The  winds  of  Heaven  never  fanned. 
The  circling  sunlight  never  spanned 
The  borders  of  a  better  land 
Than  our  own  Indiana." 


THE  HOOSIER  ABROAD. 

George  Ade. 

At  the  fourth  annual  banquet  of  the  Indiana  Society  of  Chicago, 
held  at  the  Congress  Hotel,  December  the  eleventh,  1908,  George  Ade 
gave  the  following  response: 

It  may  be  that  your  ovation  arises  from  the  fact  that  I  am 
going  abroad  shortly  to  remain  a  long  time.  [Laughter,]  The 
subject  assigned  to  me  is  "The  Hoosier  Abroad."  Therefore 
I  shall  speak  now  regarding  the  Indiana  Society  of  New  York 
City.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  Horace  Greeley  said,  ''Young 
man,  go  west."  Horace  believed  that  the  west  would  be  easy 
for  any  man  brought  up  in  the  east.  A  great  many  eastern  men 
acted  on  his  advice  and  came  out  to  the  middle  west.  The  resi- 
dents of  the  middle  west  looked  them  over  and  said,  "If  that 
is  what  they  have  back  east,  it  should  be  comparatively  soft  for 
us, ' '  so  they  all  started  back  east,  with  the  result  that  to-day  the 
most  distinguished  pugilists,  journalists  and  muckrakers  in  New 
York  City  are  natives  of  Indiana  or  one  of  its  dependent  states. 
[Applause  and  laughter.] 

It  is  very  difficult  to  account  for  these  men  from  Indiana 
going  to  New  York,  except  on  the  theory  that  good  men  are 
needed  nearly  everywhere.  It  does  not  seem  possible  that  any 
Hoosier  would  go  to  New  York — that  is,  would  go  there  volun- 
tarily to  live.  It  is  all  right  to  go  down  there  to  spend  your 
income — ^that  is  to  spend  a  year's  income  in  a  week;  but  to  think 
of  getting  up  three  hundred  and  sixty-five  days  in  the  year  and 
looking  out  of  the  window  and  seeing  that  same  parade  of 
benevolent  faces  up  Fifth  Avenue  is  awful.  [Laughter  and 
applause.] 

One  reason  why  the  Hoosier  when  he  is  abroad  lands  up  in 
New  York  is  that  we  are  very  popular  in  New  York.  The  aver- 
age New  Yorker  is  deeply  interested  in  Indiana,  just  as  he  is 

351 


352  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

in  Abyssinia,  Patagonia  and  Mesopotamia.  [Applause  and 
laughter.]  You  take  a  man  in  New  York,  who  lives  in  a  hall 
bedroom  and  cooks  his  meals  on  an  oil  stove,  and  gets  up  every 
morning  and  spends  his  daily  income  on  a  Martini  cocktail  and 
a  bunch  of  violets,  and  who  has  spent  half  the  morning  in  get- 
ting the  proper  knot  in  his  necktie,  and  his  idea  is  that  Indiana 
is  out  near  Spring  Falls,  New  York,  and  is  probably  one  of  the 
lesser  suburbs  of  that  great  city.     [Laughter.] 

Every  Hoosier  who  can  afford  it  should  go  to  New  York  at 
least  once  a  year.  It  is  an  uplifting  experience  for  residents  of 
the  corn-belt  to  go  into  a  nice,  refined  center  and  mingle  with 
those  nice  quiet  people  you  meet  in  the  all-night  restaurants  in 
New  York.  [Laughter.]  He  has  absolute  confidence  that  it 
will  finish  a  little  ahead  of  Babylon  and  somewhere  between 
Sodom  and  Gomorrah.     [Applause  and  laughter.] 

The  real  town  for  the  Hoosier  abroad  is  London.  As  you 
alight  from  the  train  you  see  a  large  triumphal  arch  with  the 
following:  "Welcome  Americans.  Your  money  is  not  good 
here."    [Laughter  and  applause.] 

In  a  few  days  I  shall  start  for  Europe  once  more.  I  know 
I  shall  suffer  every  day  when  I  am  away  and  wish  every  twenty 
minutes  I  was  back  on  the  lake  front.  The  only  real  purpose  of 
going  over  is  to  excite  the  envy  of  your  friends  up  to  the  time 
of  your  departure  from  home.  All  the  rest  of  it  is  hard  work — 
riding  for  many  hours  in  railway  cars,  and  checking  luggage, 
and  lining  up  for  your  ship,  and  all  those  hardships  incident  to 
foreign  travel;  but  the  homecoming  pays  up  for  all  of  this.  I 
will  never  forget  that  occurrence  on  our  last  trip  abroad.  I  had 
been  perambulating  through  the  temples  of  Egypt,  and  had  seen 
the  new  and  old  splendors  of  Rome,  and  looked  among  the  boule- 
vards of  Paris,  and  paid  the  customary  visit  to  the  top  of  the 
Alps.  Then,  one  morning,  I  arrived  near  home,  and  the  road 
ran  straight  ahead  for  miles  through  a  level  stretch  of  corn  fields, 
with  here  a  red  house  with  a  white  barn,  and  there  a  white  house 
with  a  red  barn.  It  was  not  scenery,  unless  you  have  seen  scenery 
upon  a  checkerboard.  Well,  I  came  upon  an  old  friend,  and  he 
was  stringing  a  barbed  wire  fence,  and  he  looked  up  when  he 


THE  HOOSIER  ABROAD  353 

saw  me  and  asked,  "Well,  George,  how  does  it  seem  to  be  back 
in  God's  country?"  [Applause.]  And  he  hit  the  nail  on  the 
head. 

One  good  thing  about  the  Hoosier  abroad  is  that  he  never 
ceases  to  be  a  Hoosier.  In  the  first  place,  he  could  not  be  any- 
thing else  if  he  tried  to.  You  take  Uncle  Jack  Goudy  when  he 
went  to  Paris.  He  did  get  so  far  as  to  sacrifice  a  portion  of  his 
Ridgeville  whiskers,  but  he  never  accomplished  the  French  lan- 
guage. One  morning  a  man  walked  into  his  office  and  said, 
"Bon  jour,  Monsieur,"  and  thereupon  Uncle  Jack  sent  for  an 
interpreter.  [Laughter  and  applause.]  John  C.  New  and  Romeo 
Johnson  remained  in  England  many  years  and  never  wore 
monocles.     [Laughter.] 

I  believe  that  the  real  people  abroad  like  a  man  who  is  him- 
self and  who  is  not  trying  to  be  someone  else.  Some  people  said 
that  Booth  Tarkington  had  been  relegated  to  the  "never  land," 
and  then,  while  they  were  making  this  complaint.  Booth  came  to 
the  front  with  "The  Man  from  Home,"  which,  in  my  opinion, 
is  the  most  satisfying  justification  of  the  American  that  has 
ever  been  put  on  the  stage.     [Applause.] 

I  don't  believe  that  the  average  Hoosier  when  abroad  waves 
the  American  flag.  He  simply  sits  back  and  sizes  up  things  and 
puts  his  thumbs  in  his  vest  and  draws  his  own  conclusions,  which 
are  about  as  follows :  *  *  Most  of  the  things  which  the  Europeans 
have  and  we  have  not,  we  are  sure  to  get  in  time.  Many  of  the 
things  we  have  and  they  have  not,  they  will  never  be  able  to 
get ;  but  some  things  they  have  and  we  have  not  are  things  we 
don't  want."  So,  striking  a  balance,  we  say  we  are  fairly  well 
satisfied  to  be  simply  what  we  are.  [Prolonged  applause  and 
cheers.] 


AN  INTRODUCTION  BY  GEORGE  ADE. 

At  the  seyenth  annual  banquet  of  the  Indiana  Society  of  Chicago, 
George  Ade  was  toastmaster.  His  general  Introduction  on  this  familiar 
occasion  follows: 

Gentlemen,  I  am  glad  to  announce  tonight  that  the  Indiana 
Society  of  Chicago  is  the  largest,  noisiest  and  most  belligerent 
seven-year-old  infant  ever  brought  up  on  the  bottle.  [Laughter 
and  applause.] 

"When  we  founded  this  organization  our  principal  anxiety 
was  to  rally  a  crowd.  Now,  our  great  problem  is  to  find  a  room 
big  enough  to  hold  all  of  the  Hoosiers  and  near-Hoosiers  and 
would-be-Hoosiers  who  come  to  dine  with  us. 

At  our  first  round-up  we  met  in  a  small  room  just  across 
the  street  from  here. 

To-night  we  have  overflow  meetings  all  up  and  down  Michi- 
gan avenue.  [Laughter.]  At  this  moment  there  are  seven  hun- 
dred people  in  the  Pompeian  room  who  will  come  up  and  join 
us  if  the  slightest  encouragement  is  given.  [Laughter.]  Sev- 
eral of  our  guests  who  had  to  take  tables  in  the  next  block 
are  now  waiting  to  receive  telephone  messages  to  come  up  to 
headquarters  and  hear  the  speeches. 

Why  do  people  who  a  few  years  ago  taunted  us  with  refer- 
ence to  Hooppole  township  and  Posey  county  now  prostrate 
themselves  before  us  and  resort  to  all  sorts  of  trickeries  and 
fawning  deceptions  in  order  to  gain  admittance  to  these  annual 
feasts  ? 

My  friends,  there  is  a  reason.  It  is  not  because  our  dinners 
are  better  than  other  dinners.  It  is  not  on  account  of  our 
notorious  literati,  because  the  more  literary  they  are  the  less 
entertaining  they  seem  to  be.  The  only  peculiar  merit  of  the 
speeches  delivered  at  our  dinners  is  that  they  are  few  in  num- 
ber and  any  man  speaking  more  than  forty-five  minutes  is 

354 


AN  INTRODUCTION  BY  GEORGE  ADB  355 

privately  asphyxiated  by  order  of  the  Executive  Committee. 
[Laughter.] 

No,  gentlemen,  I  will  tell  you  why  there  is  a  general  and 
insane  desire  to  attend  these  dinners.  At  our  past  gatherings, 
which  were  small  and  exclusive,  each  person  found  at  his  place 
a  simple  card  showing  what  victuals  were  to  be  served.  Above 
this  bill  of  fare  was  a  picture — the  same  old  picture,  the  seal 
of  our  beloved  state.  You  will  find  it  on  your  menu  card 
to-night.  In  the  background  the  sun  is  either  rising  or  setting 
behind  two  mountains.  There  are  no  mountains  in  Indiana, 
but  that  fact  did  not  seem  to  hamper  the  artist.  [Laughter.] 
In  the  foreground  a  man  is  chopping  down  a  tree,  strictly  in 
violation  of  advice  given  by  the  Indiana  Forestry  Association. 
[Laughter.]  A  large  shaggy  animal,  either  a  buffalo  or  a  Bull 
Durham,  is  so  alarmed  by  this  sudden  outburst  of  physical 
activity  in  a  community  supposed  to  be  immersed  in  speculative 
philosophy  that  it  is  dashing  madly  off  in  the  direction  of 
Chicago,  where  it  will  find  a  more  congenial  atmosphere. 
[Laughter.] 

As  I  say,  each  man  attending  received  a  square  meal,  a 
picture  of  a  man  chopping  down  the  tree,  and  about  2,000  cubic 
feet  of  hot  air.    That  was  all. 

But  after  a  year  or  two  some  of  the  committees  became 
ambitious.  The  simple  menu  card  was  elaborated  into  a  folder 
containing  views  of  historical  spots.  Next  year  it  was  a  beau- 
tiful folio  of  scenes  illustrating  Indiana  novels  and  plays. 

The  next  committee  had  to  go  one  better,  so  it  put  at  each 
plate  a  combination  cartoon  album,  song  book  and  portrait 
gallery.  Last  year  each  guest  received  a  libelous  volume  called 
**I-knew-him-well."  [Infant  and  other  early  portraits  of 
prominent  members.]  This  year  the  committee,  in  a  delirious 
attempt  to  out-do  all  previous  committees,  put  at  each  plate  a 
box  containing  twelve  books. 

Our  premium  list  has  become  so  attractive  [laughter]  that 
people  who  haven't  the  slightest  interest  in  the  Indiana  Society, 
and  are  bored  to  death  when  we  stand  up  here  and  praise  each 
other  and  try  unsuccessfully  to  blush  at  our  own  greatness — 


356  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

these  people  come  to  our  dinners  merely  to  obtain  our  expensive 
souvenirs.  [Laughter.]  Fifty  years  hence,  when  all  the 
authors  represented  in  our  Hall  of  Fame  have  passed  beyond, 
each  set  of  books  given  out  here  to-night  will  be  worth  at  a 
conservative  estimate  five  hundred  dollars.  [Laughter.]  The 
astute  Chicago  business  man  figures  around  until  he  gets  an 
invitation  to  our  dinner,  comes  down  here,  dines  and  wines  and 
smokes  with  us  epicures,  gets  two  or  three  musical  programs  on 
the  side,  takes  in  our  high  class  vaudeville,  and  then  goes  home 
with  $500  worth  of  books  under  his  arm,  and  credits  himself 
with  $490  profit  on  the  deal.     [Laughter.] 

Any  social  organization  which  appeals  to  the  commercial 
instinct  is  bound  to  be  a  success. 

But  the  question  arises,  whither  are  we  drifting?  What 
will  be  our  finish?  What  will  the  committees  next  year  do  to 
overshadow  the  stupendous  3-ring,  elevated  platform  and  hippo- 
drome track  affair  that  we  are  pulling  off  here  to-night  ?  What 
can  they  do  ?  They  will  have  to  give  the  dinner  at  the  Coliseum, 
put  a  Carnegie  Library  at  each  plate  and  charge  $35  a  ticket, 
refusing  to  honor  those  purchased  of  scalpers.     [Laughter.] 

While  our  local  society  has  been  making  history,  other  sons 
of  Indiana  have  been  doing  press-work  for  the  grand  old  state. 
The  most  sensational  operatic  success  of  this  season  has  been 
Orville  Harold,  singing  "William  Tell"  in  London.  The  Lon- 
don public  has  gone  wild  over  him,  and  no  wonder — for  his 
home  is  in  Muncie,  Indiana.  Five  years  ago  he  was  driving  a 
delivery  wagon.  To-day  he  and  John  Shaffer  are  the  most 
prominent  figures  on  the  operatic  stage.     [Laughter.] 

During  the  world's  championship  ball  games,  the  most  sen- 
sational play,  next  to  Baker's  home  run,  was  executed  by  a 
young  man  playing  with  the  New  York  Giants.  When  his  team 
seemed  hopelessly  beaten  he  went  to  bat  with  two  men  out, 
smashed  a  two-bagger,  cleaned  the  bases  and  brought  victory 
to  his  team.  This  young  man  was  Otis  Crandall,  from  Wa- 
dena, Indiana, — ^near  Brook  [the  country  home  of  Mr.  Ade]. 
[Laughter.] 

In  financial  circles  the  most  startling  development  of  the 


AN  INTRODUCTION  BY  GEORGE  ADE     357 

year  was  the  meteoric  showing  made  by  the  boy  broker  of 
Boston, — who  sold  a  million  dollars'  worth  of  mining  stock 
before  being  interrupted.  [Laughter.]  He  got  $25,000  from 
Harry  Lauder,  thereby  establishing  a  world's  record.  [Laugh- 
ter.] I  am  sure  you  will  be  delighted  to  learn  that  this  young 
man  was  born  and  bred  in  Lafayette,  Indiana,  his  mother  con- 
ducting a  boarding  house  just  across  from  the  Grand  Opera 
House.     [Laughter.] 

Wherever  things  are  happening  and  men  of  action  are  in 
demand,  there  you  will  find  the  Hoosier  State  ably  represented. 
In  passing,  I  need  only  mention  the  fact  that  during  the  recent 
important  developments  in  Los  Angeles,  the  McNamara  boys 
of  Indianapolis  took  a  very  prominent  part.     [Laughter.] 

Some  of  the  Hoosiers  we  have  long  honored  by  absent  treat- 
ment are  sitting  down  with  us  to-night.  I  am  going  to  call  on 
a  few  of  them  to  arise  in  their  places  and  speak  to  us.  But 
before  I  do  so  and  in  order  to  make  sure  that  a  quorum  is 
present  we  are  going  to  have  a  roll-call  of  the  counties.  The 
human  megaphone  in  the  gallery  will  call  the  names  of  the 
counties.  When  the  name  of  your  home  county  is  called  please 
respond  with  **Here"  in  a  loud,  resonant  voice.  Remain  stand- 
ing long  enough  to  be  identified  and  receive  an  ovation,  and  then 
be  seated.     [Laughter.]     Please  respond  promptly. 

Proceed  with  the  roll-call.  (The  roll  of  Indiana  counties 
was  then  called,  and  the  various  responses  were  made.) 

Mr.  Ade :  Gentlemen,  the  secretary  reports  that  a  quorum  is 
present,  so  we  will  proceed  to  business.  (Mr.  Ade  then  intro- 
duced those  who  responded  to  toasts.) 


AT  "THE  SIGN  OF  THE  SMILE." 

William  Allen  "Wood. 

The  Boys*  Club  Association  of  Indianapolis  is  a  benevolent 
organization  which  provides  club  facilities,  including  a  gymnasium, 
a  library  and  reading  room,  and  baths;  industrial  training  in 
electricity,  woodworking  and  printing;  and  a  summer  camp,  for  nearly 
a  thousand  young  boys  of  the  city.  In  this  address  the  work  of  this 
organization  is  explained.  The  principal  club  house  has  outside  the 
door  a  wrought-iron  scrollwork  sign  bearing  a  Venetian  lamp,  and 
depending  from  the  sign  a  frame  containing  a  picture,  the  smiling 
and  radiantly  happy  face  of  a  boy,  with  a  jaunty  cap  set  well  back  on 
the  head.  Underneath  the  frame  is  the  inscription,  "The  Sign  of  the 
Smile." 

Mr.  Chairman,  Friends  and  Fellow-Workers :  The  common, 
or  garden,  variety  of  boy — and  all  normal,  healthy  boys  are  of 
this  variety — ^is  more  or  less  of  a  problem  in  every  community. 
He  is  especially  a  problem  in  urban  communities.  This  fact 
arises  out  of  the  nature  of  the  animal.  Please  do  not  have  a 
difference  with  me  because  I  call  the  boy  an  animal,  for  Plato 
went  further  and  said,  "A  boy  is  the  most  vicious  of  all  wild 
beasts."  I  do  not  recall  in  just  what  spirit  or  connection  Plato 
said  this,  but  it  may  be  that  he  had  good  personal  reasons  for 
so  expressing  himself.  It  does  not  require  much  imagination  to 
see  Plato  fleeing  the  wrath  of  Greek  youth,  striding  off  before 
their  missiles  much  as  a  friend  of  mine,  who,  when  he  had  an 
engagement  to  entertain  the  boys  of  our  club  one  Christmas 
evening  and  kept  them  waiting  outside  till  he  tardily  arrived — 
this  was  under  the  old  regime  and  the  old  rules, — suffered  their 
disapproval  by  being  pelted  roundly  with  snowballs  till  he  could 
gain  the  shelter  of  the  club  house.  He  afterwards  suggested  to 
us,  with  at  least  a  little  more  surface  urbanity  than  Plato  seems 
to  have  displayed,  that  we  change  the  name  of  the  Boys'  Club 
to  the  Imperial  Order  of  Imps,  the  Amalgamated  Masters  of 
Mischief,  or  some  other  more  appropriate  title. 

358 


AT  "THE  SIGN  OF  THE  SMHiE"  359 

I  have  said  that  the  boy  problem  arises  out  of  the  nature 
of  the  animal.  But  I  am  constrained  to  divide  the  responsibility 
of  this  problem,  to  release  the  boy  somewhat  from  the  respon- 
sibility of  being  a  boy.  Let  us  review  the  situation  a  moment. 
In  primitive  times  the  boy  was  the  child  of  Nature,  his  element 
was  the  wilds.  Before  the  explorer  had  lifted  the  veil  of  the 
mysterious  land  which  the  elemental  boy  inhabited,  before  the 
frontiersman  had  begun  to  clear  the  way  for  civilization,  neces- 
sity and  the  joy  of  life  taught  the  boy  to  cope  with  the  primal  ele- 
ments of  nature,  making  him  active,  vigorous,  strong  and  manly. 
He  learned  how  to  be  skillful  in  the  fashioning  and  use  of  the 
bow  and  arrow,  in  the  building  and  paddling  of  the  canoe,  in 
constructing  ovens  of  earth  and  stones  to  cook  his  food  and 
in  sewing  skins  and  weaving  grass  and  the  hair  of  animals  for 
his  clothing.  The  forest  and  the  waters  provided  him  with 
his  necessities  and  with  opportunity  for  healthful  sports.  In 
his  camp  life  the  boy  heard  with  rapt  attention  wonderful  tales 
of  mystery,  embellished  liberally  by  the  imagination  of  his  older 
associates ;  he  heard  of  deeds  of  valor  in  tribal  warfare  and  of 
struggles  for  life  and  death  with  the  elements  and  with  wild 
beasts;  and  he  worshipped  and  obeyed  the  heroes  of  his  tribe, 
whose  skill  and  bravery  he  ever  dreamed  of  emulating.  Such 
was  the  boyhood  of  the  child  of  Nature,  and  such  is  the  boy- 
hood for  which  the  savage  instincts  of  every  natural,  healthy 
boy  yearns. 

Pioneer  boyhood  is  the  next  step  in  the  advance  of  civiliza- 
tion. The  white  man  came  and  made  clearings  in  the  forests. 
He  built  his  log  cabin  and  struggled  from  morning  till  night 
to  assist  nature  to  yield  him  larger  stores  to  satisfy  his  less 
simple  and  more  civilized  wants.  The  pioneer  white  boy  played 
less  and  worked  more  than  his  little  savage  cousin.  But  he, 
too,  loved  Nature  and  was  on  speaking  terms  with  her.  He, 
too,  hunted  and  fished  and  trapped  and  climbed  trees  and 
swam.  He,  too,  struggled  with  the  elements,  with  wild  beasts 
and  with  savage  cunning  and  treachery,  and  he,  too,  was  strong, 
courageous,  resourceful,  industrious  and  self-reliant. 

Gradually,  however,  cabin  was  added  to  cabin,  board  and 


360  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

brick  houses  were  built,  and  pioneer  communities  became  the 
rural  and  small  town  communities  of  established  civilization. 
More  and  more  property  became  private,  and  with  this  privacy 
came  the  first  serious  inhibition  to  the  unrestrained  activity  of 
the  boy,  the  property  fence.  Yet  the  boy  had  much  latitude 
here  and  was  not  usually  disturbed  when  playing  on  neighbor- 
ing land  that  did  not  belong  to  his  own  family.  And  the  forest 
and  the  brook  and  the  river  were  near  by,  game  was  still  to  be 
captured,  the  songs  of  the  birds  were  an  almost  constant  melody 
in  his  ears,  and  there  were  green  fields,  sand  bars,  swimming 
holes,  bams  and  haylofts  which  gave  him  opportunity  for  play 
and  exercise  in  joyous  combination.  The  boy  was  still  a  com- 
panion of  Nature. 

But  as  population  multiplied,  as  the  demand  for  the  com- 
forts and  luxuries  of  an  advanced  civilization  increased,  as  the 
commercial  spirit  became  the  dominant  spirit,  and  as  industry 
became  better  organized,  centralized  and  specialized,  people  were 
thrown  into  closer  and  more  interdependent  contact,  social  life 
became  more  complex,  the  identity  of  the  individual  was  sub- 
merged in  the  masses  and  Nature's  wilderness  was  transformed 
into  the  city  wilderness.  Our  chief  of  individualists,  the  boy, 
that  part  of  the  genus  living  in  the  city,  now  finds  instead  of 
grass,  dirt,  cobblestones,  and  asphalt;  instead  of  scalable  trees, 
telephone,  telegraph  and  trolley  poles,  or  trees  trimmed  beyond 
his  power  to  climb  them;  instead  of  a  pure,  clear  atmosphere, 
smoke  and  soot;  instead  of  the  sounds  of  the  forest,  the  birds' 
songs,  and  the  lullaby  of  waving  branches,  grating,  rasping,  and 
rumbling  noises;  instead  of  a  free  view  of  the  sunrise  and  the 
sunset,  instead  of  that  other  "soft  eye-music  of  slow-waving 
boughs,"  the  constant  sight  of  rows  of  ugly  tenements,  of  unin- 
teresting if  magnificent  mansions,  and  that  supreme  sign  of 
triumph  of  commerce  over  good  taste,  the  modern  billboard. 
Here  the  clear  brooks  and  rivers  are  polluted  with  waste  and 
sewage,  and  his  swimming  holes,  formerly  bottomed  with  clean 
sand,  are  bestrewn  with  vegetable  cans  or  are  filled  up  entirely. 
Here  most  property  is  private  property  upon  which  he  must 
not  trespass,  while  upon  public  property  in  the  form  of  parks 


AT  "THE  SIGN  OF  THE  SMILE"  361 

and  boulevards,  he  must  not  run  or  shout  or  play  on  the  grass 
or  pick  flowers  or  climb  trees  or  use  as  gymnasium  horses  the 
park  benches,  which  are  intended  for  him  to  sit  upon  while  he 
reflects  upon  the  beauties  of  the  artificial  landscape  about  him 
and  the  thoughtfulness  of  his  elders  in  providing  the  means  of 
developing  his  aesthetic  make-up.  Here  other  pleasures  and 
activities,  most  of  them  perfectly  natural  and  harmless  in  them- 
selves, have  been  converted  into  crimes;  for  the  city  fathers 
have  decreed  that  he  must  not  loiter  or  be  loud  and  boisterous, 
or  play  ball,  or  build  bonfires,  or  throw  stones  or  snowballs,  or 
use  slingshots,  or  air-rifles,  or  any  other  dangerous  weapon  in 
the  public  street. 

But  he  is  still  a  child  of  nature,  an  individualist,  a  lover 
of  liberty  and  independence,  an  explorer,  an  adventurer.  He 
is  restless  under  restraint,  but  is  plastic  under  the  right  kind 
of  direction.  He  is  fond  of  the  hunt  and  he  builds  a  tent  or  a 
hut  in  the  back  yard  or  in  some  vacant  lot  and  in  true  marauder 
fashion  ravages  his  mother's  cupboard,  or,  in  some  exceptional 
cases,  appropriates  the  neighbors'  fruit  and  fowls,  and  any 
articles  or  implements  he  considers  necessary  to  his  natural 
existence.  His  happiest  moments  are  when  he  is  doing  these 
things,  or  when  he  is  undisturbed  in  his  crude  retreat,  enjoying 
the  fruits  of  his  labor,  cooking  his  meal  in  a  dirt  oven,  smoking 
muUein  leaves  or  cornsilk,  perhaps,  and  discussing  with  com- 
rades the  exploits  of  his  real  or  imaginary  heroes — Indians,  cow- 
boys, outlaws,  pirates,  sleuths,  soldiers,  prize-fighters,  police, 
and  baseball  players.  He  prefers  this  free  life,  this  natural, 
resilient,  simple  existence  of  his  little  savjige  prototype  to  the 
ridiculous  customs  and  conventionalities  and  innumerable  rules 
and  regulations  of  a  complex  and  so-called  advanced  civilization. 
His  savage  nature  demands  that  he  live  close  to  nature.  His  so- 
cial instinct  finds  expression  and  must  find  exercise  through  tribal 
organizations  called  ''gangs."  He  has  a  tribal  dialect  that,  to 
be  used,  requires  no  knowledge  of  intricate  grammatical  con- 
struction, and  a  collection  of  whistles,  calls  and  warwhoops  which 
require  no  practice  in  the  art  of  music  to  reach  their  highest 
delight  and  purpose.    The  normal  boy  must  play,  make  believe. 


362  ArTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

show  off,  assert  himself,  and  be  loyal  to  something  or  some- 
body. He  has  energy  that  must  have  an  outlet,  and  that  he 
himself  wants  to  direct.  He  has  a  creative  spirit  and  a  sense 
of  personal  responsibility  that,  if  crushed,  means  ruin  to  his 
proper  growth. 

I  have  sketched  the  historical  changes  in  the  conditions  of 
boy  life  and  the  natural  requirements  of  the  boy.  I  think  you 
will  admit  that  civilization  must  share  with  the  boy's  nature 
the  responsibility  for  the  gap  between  his  requirements  and 
what  our  cities  have  to  offer  for  his  development.  We,  then, 
have  to  meet  in  some  way  the  requirements  of  the  boy;  we 
cannot  bend  him  to  our  small  opportunities.  We  will  have  many 
broken  windows,  many  scratched  walls,  many  belittered  streets 
if  we  do  not  furnish  the  boy  a  place  of  his  own  to  spend  his 
energies.  The  boy  has  to  do  something,  and  we  may  as  well 
recognize  that  fact.  There  is  a  biological  axiom  that,  in  the 
development  of  the  individual  person,  he  goes  through  the  same 
stages  of  development  that  his  race  or  kind  has  gone  through  in 
its  growth  to  its  present  status.  The  boy  cannot  help  going 
through  the  stages,  in  feelings  and  habits,  that  the  savage  and 
the  country  boy  goes  through,  and,  if  he  could,  I  would  not 
give  much  for  the  resulting  growth  called  a  boy.  We  must  not 
blame  him,  but  we  must  sympathize  with  him  and  help  him.  It 
is  here  we  find  the  function  of  the  Boys*  Club.  The  cause  of 
the  Boys'  Club  is  the  cause  of  the  city  boy  living  under  unnat- 
ural and  deteriorating  conditions  which  endanger  the  physical 
and  moral  preservation  of  the  race.  It  cannot  restore  nature  to 
him,  but  it  supplies  him  with  a  building  where,  under  an 
experienced  leadership  that  encourages  rather  than  suppresses, 
that  suggests  rather  than  dictates,  he  has  ample  opportunity 
during  the  fall,  winter  and  spring  to  exercise  his  play  instinct, 
his  social  instinct,  his  creative  instinct,  and  to  preserve  and 
develop  his  sense  of  individuality  and  personal  responsibility; 
where  he  has  a  swimming  pool  and  shower-baths  in  place  of  a 
swimming  hole  or  river ;  where  a  gymnasium  substitutes  for  trees, 
fences,  and  haystacks;  where  he  plays  innocent  games  instead 
of  shooting  craps  on  the  street;  where  good  lively  stories  of 


AT  "THE  SIGN  OF  THE  SMILE"  363 

adventure  take  the  place  of  Diamond  Dick  and  Jesse  James; 
where  industrial  work  in  woodworking,  printing  and  electricity 
give  him  an  opportunity  to  make  toys  or  needful  things  for 
himself  instead  of  breaking  up  other  people's  property.  And 
then,  in  summer,  he  has  our  camp,  out  in  the  real  country, 
where  he  can  climb  trees,  hunt,  fish,  swim  in  a  large,  clean 
swimming  hole,  drink  delicious  spring  water,  help  cook  his  own 
meals,  tramp  over  the  hills,  play  shinny,  ride  horseback,  pick 
flowers  and  wild  fruit,  and  see  the  colorful  skies  for  miles 
around. 

I  cannot  claim  to  be  versed  in  pedagogics,  and  I  am  present- 
ing only  a  phase,  perhaps, — though  an  important  phase — of  this 
subject.  But  if  you  will  permit  me,  I  will  review  for  a  moment 
some  ideas  of  Rousseau  which  vindicate  us  in  our  attitude 
towards  the  boy.  I  remarked  that  the  boy  is  plastic  under 
proper  direction.  Proper  direction  is  difficult  to  obtain,  but  we 
may  congratulate  ourselves  on  having  obtained  a  director  who 
seems  to  be  a  natural  director  of  boys  according  to  the  best 
traditions  of  proper  direction.  Rousseau  says  that  if  children 
are  not  to  be  required  to  do  anything  as  a  matter  of  obedience,  it 
follows  that  they  will  learn  only  what  they  perceive  to  be  of 
real  and  present  value,  either  for  use  or  enjoyment,  and  what 
other  motive,  he  inquires  pointedly,  can  they  have  for  learning  ? 
"We  must,  then,  he  says,  arouse  in  the  pupil  the  desire  to  learn, 
and  the  child's  present  interest  is  the  only  motive  power  that 
takes  us  far  and  safely,  adding  that  what  we  are  in  no  hurry 
to  get  is  usually  obtained  with  speed  and  certainty.  Rousseau 
notes  that  we  will  make  the  boy  stupid  if  we  are  always  giving 
him  directions,  always  saying  come  here,  go  there,  stop,  do  this, 
don't  do  that.  If  the  grown-up's  head  always  guides  him,  his 
own  mind  will  become  useless.  He  says  that  boys  are  like 
savages,  who,  because  of  their  independence  and  self-reliance 
are  keen  of  sense  and  subtile  of  mind.  They  are  not  like  peas- 
ants who  become  dull  and  clumsy  because  they  have  always 
done  what  they  have  been  told,  or  what  their  fathers  did  before 
them.  Boys  are  Nature's  pupils  and  our  excellent  superintend- 
ent has  the  difficult  task  on  his  hands — a  task  he  proves  fully 


364  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

equal  to— of  controlling,  as  Rousseau  suggests,  without  precepts. 
It  is  a  spontaneous  method  of  education,  as  spontaneous  as  the 
ideas  and  impulses  in  the  heads  and  and  hearts  of  the  boys.  So 
we  do  not  try  to  take  the  impishness  out  of  our  boys,  but,  in 
line  with  Rousseau's  suggestion  that  "you  will  never  succeed 
in  making  wise  men  if  you  do  not  first  make  little  imps  of 
mischief,"  we  try  to  preserve  in  them  their  natural  impishness 
and  to  direct  it  in  line  with  their  selfish  impulses  of  present 
interest.  I  might  emphasize  present  interest  more  still,  for  such 
future  interests  as  are  emphasized  in  the  Sunday  school  and  in 
the  Y.  M.  C.  A.  are  here  purely  incidental,  so  as  not  to  confuse 
the  child-mind  with  the  mission  of  boys  on  earth,  and  so  that 
they  will  not  suffer  a  reaction  later  that  will  be  a  detriment  to 
their  whole  future  and  their  essential  religious  life.  If  we  are 
not  a  Sunday  school,  a  church  or  a  home,  yet  we  can  surest 
to  the  boy's  mind  the  glory  of  the  resurrection  we  hope  for  by 
the  beauty  of  a  June  sunrise,  we  can  make  our  God  as  literal 
to  his  pagan  fancy  as  any  pagan  god  has  ever  been  to  any 
boy's  fancy  through  the  appreciation  of  the  lyric  colors  of  a 
sunset,  and  the  sense-delighting  taste  of  the  fruits  so  abundantly 
provided  for  us.  We  can  suggest  God  to  him  in  everything  he 
sees,  hears  and  feels,  and  make  his  religion  as  practical  as  our 
education  tries  to  be.  This  leaves  special  doctrines  for  his 
family  and  church  to  care  for,  if  he  must  have  special  doctrines. 
Our  motto  is  memento  vivere  rather  than  memento  vnore,  which, 
if  I  do  not  know  much  of  pedagogics,  appeals  to  my  common 
sense  as  being  much  more  important  at  this  stage  of  life.  And 
let  me  differentiate  further :  the  Y.  M.  C.  A.,  on  account  of  the 
annual  dues  which  at  present  puts  it  beyond  the  financial  reach 
of  most  of  the  boys  we  care  for,  is,  if  not  a  rich  young  man's 
club,  at  least  a  club  for  young  men  of  moderate  means.  Besides, 
ordinarily  it  does  not  take  care  of  the  younger  ones  as  we  do. 
As  a  single  instance  of  our  ability  to  do  effective  work  let  me 
cite  the  instance  of  a  certain  boy  who  has  attended,  without  cost, 
except  for  the  materials  he  used  and  a  nominal  fee  to  save  his 
self-respect,  the  evening  classes  in  electricity  at  the  Boys'  Club. 
There  is  no  other  place  in  our  city  where  he  could  get  what 


AT  **THE  SIGN  OF  THE  SMILE"  365 

he  has  got  there  at  the  time  he  has  got  it.  His  father,  edu- 
cated by  our  gracious  commonwealth,  acquired  a  hazy  notion 
of  arithmetic  from  a  book  using  as  "examples"  things  in  which 
he  as  a  boy  was  not  interested  and  with  which  he  might  never 
come  in  contact;  he  learned 'some  grammar  from  Harvey,  a  fact 
one  would  now  be  much  inclined  to  doubt;  he  does  retain  some 
knowledge  of  geography,  his  only  use  for  it  being  the  satis- 
faction he  gets  out  of  it  when  reading  newspapers  and  tales  of 
foreign  lands;  he  absorbed  some  history,  which  is  also  purely  a 
personal  satisfaction,  and  some  physiology  from  a  book  which 
does  not  mention  what  is  now  the  most  popular  of  our  insidea^ 
the  vermiform  appendix.  And  though  during  several  years  thus 
taught  he  learned  more  than  readin',  'ritin',  and  'rithmetic, 
his  son,  who  will  go  through  a  book  in  a  week  that  was  taught 
his  father  in  three  or  six  months,  is  now,  at  fourteen  years 
of  age,  making  fifty  per  cent  more  in  wages  than  his  father 
and  does  not  work  more  than  three-quarters  of  the  time  his 
father  works.  This  is  to  some  extent  due  to  our  trying  to  make 
method  and  curriculum  square  with  nature,  and  not  trying  to 
make  nature  fit  our  idea  of  what  method  and  curriculum  ought 
to  be.  In  the  application  of  the  theory  of  disciplined  liberty 
we,  in  our  limited  field,  preceded  the  followers  of  Dr.  Mon- 
tessori,  and  that  without  any  knowledge  of  her  work.  "We  do 
not  stand  for  less  discipline,  but  for  more  unconscious  discipline 
and  our  greater  function  seems  to  be  the  opening  rather  than  the 
filling  of  our  boys'  minds.  And  yet  we  have  been  signally  suc- 
cessful in  promoting  in  our  boys  the  four  fundamental  qualities 
necessary  for  personal  efficiency — ^health,  or  physical  soundness; 
intelligence,  or  mental  soundness;  trustworthiness,  or  moral 
soundness,  and  industry,  or  soundness  in  action. 

And  so  we  have  the  Boys'  Club.  We  preserve  for  the  boy 
all  those  semblances  of  freedom  which  make  his  mind  and  his 
will  the  more  ready  to  subject  themselves  to  direction  when 
the  superintendent  deems  it  necessary.  Our  baths  are  a  con- 
stant and  silent  invitation  to  him  to  enjoy  a  shower  in  primal 
nakedness;  our  library  is  an  invitation  to  satisfy  his  natural 
curiosity  and  interest;  our  gymnasium,  to  enjoy  exercises  and 


366  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

gain  bodily  strength ;  our  industrial  shops,  to  play  at  work  and 
work  at  play  and  to  acquire  ability  in  skilled  labor.  He  is  sur- 
rounded by  opportunities  to  acquire  a  sound  mind  in  a  sound 
body,  and,  through  the  variety  of  interests  open  to  him,  to  grow 
in  perfect  balance  in  accord  with  that  other  Greek  adage  of 
"nothing  too  much."  Joubert  said  that  ** children  need  models 
rather  than  critics"  and,  through  the  training  of  successive  gen- 
erations, our  older  boys  to  a  large  extent  furnish  these  models 
for  the  younger.  Joubert  said  also,  "Too  much  severity  freezes 
our  faults  and  fixes  them ;  often  indulgence  kills  them.  A  good 
praiser  is  as  necessary  as  a  good  corrector.  Education  should 
be  tender  and  severe,  not  cold  and  soft."  I  have  observed  the 
truth  of  this  assertion  in  the  results  of  the  methods  of  our 
superintendent.  I  think  no  one  will  disagree  with  me  when  I 
say  we  have  one  of  the  most  popular  as  well  as  one  of  the  most 
effective  institutions  in  Indianapolis,  and  I  believe  this  is  be- 
cause we  have  an  institution  which  is  preventive  in  its  nature 
and  which  appeals  directly  to  the  hearts  and  intellects  of  all  our 
people.  Ours  is  the  stitch  in  time  that  saves  nine.  When  it  is 
necessary  to  take  nine  stitches,  when  institutions  are  curative 
in  their  nature,  there  enter  many  disagreeable  things  that  we 
are  free  from.  These  institutions  deserve  our  sympathy  the 
more  on  that  account.  Briefly,  I  do  not  know  how  long  it  will 
be  before  our  educational  function  wiU  be  taken  over  by  the 
public  school  system — when  we  can  become  purely  a  recreational 
institution — ^but  it  will  not  be  until  the  schools  handle  the  prob- 
lem as  we  are  handing  it.  The  late  superintendent  of  our  city 
schools  (Mr.  Calvin  N.  Kendall)  said  we  are  fifty  years  ahead 
of  the  times  in  our  methods  of  education.  "We  can  at  least  con- 
gratulate ourselves  that  we  are  not  behind  the  times.  And 
meanwhile  we  are  extending  our  good  influence  in  the  various 
communities  where  we  have  houses  by  becoming  social  centers, 
places  for  the  young  to  dance  and  for  their  friends  and  parents 
to  meet  together  in  clubs  and  otherwise. 

And  so,  I  repeat,  we  have  the  Boys'  Club,  a  place  of  joy 
which  may  hold  the  balance  between  the  worst  and  the  best  in 
the  lives  of  many  boys;  a  place  where  "the  least  of  these"  are 


AT  ''THE  SIGN  OF  THE  SMILE"  367 

doing  useful  and  beautiful  things  in  developing  their  own  char- 
acters. At  "The  Sign  of  the  Smile"  they  are  always  welcome, 
and  I  am  sure  we  all  hope  it  may  be  for  them  always,  "The 
Sign  of  the  Smile." 


INDIANA,  INCUBATOR  OF  IMMORTALS. 

William  Allen  Wood. 

This  response  was  made  at  the  banquet  of  the  Fifty-ninth  Ekklesia 
of  the  Phi  Gamma  Delta  college  fraternity.  The  Ekklesia  was  held 
at  the  University  of  Chicago,  and  the  banquet  at  the  Hotel  del  Prado. 

Brother  Toastmaster  and  Brother  Fijis:  I  was  notified  late 
this  evening  by  way  of  The  Convention  Fiji  that  I  was  to  give 
a  toast  to-night  on  Indiana,  Incubator  of  Immortals.  I  assure 
you  that  only  state  pride  prevented  me  from  refusing  to  re- 
spond, and  there  may  be  those  who,  when  I  have  finished,  will 
say  that  I  had  done  my  state's  reputation  a  better  turn  by  keep- 
ing silent,  and  that,  therefore,  my  one  reason  is  a  poor  one.  Your 
calling  on  a  somewhat  unpracticed  speaker  on  such  short  notice 
recalls  the  story  of  a  certain  Episcopal  lady  of  devout  inclina- 
tions who,  the  rector  noticed,  bowed  her  head  not  only  when  the 
name  of  the  Christ  was  pronounced  in  the  services,  but  also 
whenever  the  name  of  Satan  was  mentioned.  The  rector  felt 
that  this  was  highly  improper  and  expostulated  with  the  old 
lady,  saying,  **I  notice,  madam,  that  you  bow  your  head  not 
only  when  we  mention  the  name  of  Christ,  but  you  also  bow  at 
the  name  of  the  devil.  You  know  that  is  not  in  accord  with  the 
customs  of  our  church."  **Yes,  I  know  that,"  said  the  old 
lady,  "but  you  know  it  pays  to  be  polite — ^and  you  never  can 
tell  what  may  happen. ' '  Now,  as  I  am  a  very  devil  of  a  speaker, 
I  feel  that  your  calling  on  me  is  only  an  effort  to  be  polite.  So 
much  for  an  apology,  which,  like  the  quotation,  the  platitude, 
and  the  story,  seems,  from  its  frequency,  to  have  become  an 
established  requisite  in  American  after-dinner  speeches. 

It  is  grateful  to  me  to  note  that  the  gentleman  who  composed 
this  program  recognized,  perhaps  subconsciously,  the  literary 
pre-eminence  of  the  Hoosier  state.  Some  of  the  other  toasts 
are  plain  Phi  Gamma  Delta,  The  New  York  Club,  The  East, 

368 


INDIANA,  INCUBATOR  OF  IMMORTALS  369 

The  "West,  and  so  on,  but  when  the  thought  of  Indiana  came 
into  his  mind  he  spontaneously  concocted  that  beautiful  allitera- 
tion, Indiana,  Incubator  of  Immortals,  which  is  a  verbal  cocktail 
that  must  delight  the  heart  of  every  Hoosier  here.  Indiana 
is  indeed  the  incubator  of  immortals ;  it  is  a  literary  lallipaloosa, 
a  dinger  in  diction,  and  every  one  of  us  from  Indiana  will 
admit  the  truth  of  your  program  maker's  soft  impeachment. 
In  Indiana  we  are  not  limited  in  vocabulary,  but  express  our- 
selves in  literature  both  in  the  occasionally  sesquipedalian 
nomenclature  of  our  literary  craftsman  and  brother,  Meredith 
Nicholson,  and  sometimes  in  the  brain  leaks  of  the  fellow 
townsman  of  the  Chicagoans  present,  George  Ade.  Moreover, 
we  are  a  good  people  in  Indiana.  When  we  swear  we  do  not  do  so 
from  violence  of  temper  and  wicked  emotions,  but,  in  line  with 
our  love  of  literature  and  art,  we  swear  merely  from  the  love 
of  the  assonance  of  comminatory  sounds.  So  those  of  you  who 
have  not  visited  our  cultured  and  virtuous  state  know  not  what 
opportunities  you  have  missed  for  the  broadening  of  your  edu- 
cation and  the  embellishing  of  your  personalities.  We  of  In- 
diana give  you  a  hearty  invitation  to  visit  the  incubator  of 
immortals,  where  you  may  be  bom  again — rehatched,  as  it  were 
• — in  a  cultural  way.  However,  to  show  you  that  Indiana's  abun- 
dant development  of  immortals  is  not  an  unmixed  glory,  arous- 
ing as  it  does  the  envy  of  less  fortunate  commonwealths,  I  will 
tell  you  the  story  of  a  Boston  woman  who,  filled  with  the  pride 
of  her  own  state  and  city,  visited  the  Indiana  building  at  the 
Louisiana  Purchase  Exposition  at  St.  Louis.  Like  many  another 
Easterner,  she  had  no  idea  how  rich  we  were  in  celebrities. 
This  good  dame,  lorgnette  in  hand,  started  in  to  look  at  the 
portraits  of  our  prominent  men  as  they  appeared  on  the  walls 
of  the  Indiana  building.  She  viewed  with  a  fair  degree  of 
complacency  the  portraits  of  Meredith  Nicholson,  George  Ade, 
Booth  Tarkington,  George  McCutcheon,  William  Vaughn  Moody, 
David  Graham  Phillips,  Wilbur  Nesbit,  Charles  Major,  Theodore 
Dreiser  and  the  others  of  the  younger  generation  of  literary 
lights,  before  she  came  to  the  older  men  who  have  added  to 
Indiana's  fame.    She  was  beginning  to  get  on  her  mettle,  though, 


370  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

when  she  came  to  the  older  men  and  her  pride  was  on  the  verge 
of  resenting  our  monopolistic  display  of  creators  of  literature. 
She  fixed  her  glass  on  a  picture  and  exclaimed  with  offended  sur- 
prise, "And  Edward  Eggleston.  Huh!"  Then  she  passed  to 
another  picture,  fixed  her  glass  again,  and  exclaimed,  "And 
Maurice  Thompson.  Huh!"  To  others,  "And  James  Whitcomb 
Riley  and  John  Hay.  Huh!"  To  another,  "And  General  Lew 
Wallace.  Huh!"  Then  with  an  indignant  flourish  of  her 
binocular  at  what  she  considered  our  preposterous  claims,  with 
chin  in  air  she  said  to  an  attendant,  "And,  pray,  where  are 
Shakespeare  and  Milton?" 

Being  of  a  liberal  turn  of  mind,  gentlemen,  I  am  not  averse 
to  letting  you  into  the  secret  of  Indiana's  greatness.  In  one 
of  the  greatest  of  recent  novels,  the  strong  men,  the  men  of 
kern  intellect,  fine  feeling  and  great  vitality,  came  from  the 
country  that  was  heavily  wooded,  the  country  where  grass  and 
shrubs  clothed  the  earth  closely,  where  pure  water  flowed  from 
abundant  springs,  where  people  looked  up  to  the  sky  and 
enjoyed  its  delightful  blue,  where  shifting  clouds  of  ominous 
gray  and  black,  or  of  white  and  gold  and  pink  and  lavender,  left 
vivid  emotions  of  epic  grandeur  or  lyric  joy  in  the  hearts  of 
the  beholders.  It  was  such  a  country  from  which  the  immortals 
of  Indiana  have  arisen.  It  is  the  country  to  which  belong  our 
own  Fiji  giants — ^Wallace,  Eggleston,  Thompson,  Ridpath,  Nich- 
olson, and  a  possible  president  of  the  United  States,  Charles 
W,  Fairbanks. 

Kipling  wrote : 

"I  have  written  the  tale  of  our  life 
For  a  sheltered  people's  mirth, 
In  Jesting  guise — but  ye  are  wise, 
And  ye  know  what  the  jest  is  worth." 

And  you  of  Indiana  know  what  my  jest  at  our  beloved  state 
is  worth.  Let  every  loyal  Indiana  Fiji  stand  and  drink  to  the 
grand  old  state.  (About  fifty  men  from  Indiana  stood  and 
diank  the  toast  proposed  by  the  speaker,  "To  Indiana.") 

Our   worthy   president   and  toastmaster,   Brother  Newton 


INDIANA,  INCUBATOR  OF  IMMORTALS  371 

Baker,  who  can  detect  psychological  influences  from  great  dis- 
tances, will  appreciate  the  reason  why  Indiana  is  the  incubator 
of  immortals.  And  this  psychological  influence  suggests  that 
those  of  our  brothers  who  attend  the  agricultural  colleges  of 
our  nation  can  get  even  with  the  chaps  from  literary  colleges 
and  fulfill  a  great  opportunity  in  the  direction  of  general  cul- 
ture by  becoming  their  state's  foresters  and  landscape  gardeners, 
thus  placing  their  states  on  an  equal  competitive  footing  with 
Indiana  and  other  commonwealths  that  grow  poets  and  the 
producers  of  the  six  best  sellers.  Let  no  one  decry  the  oppor- 
tunities of  our  agricultural  schools  in  forwarding  general 
culture. 

If  there  is  anything  in  this  theory  of  the  influence  of  environ- 
ment, and  if  the  evidence  of  our  eyes  and  hearts  is  to  be  believed, 
those  of  us  who  have  come  in  contact  at  this  Ekklesia  with  the 
representatives  of  chapters  at  agricultural  and  technological 
schools  must  have  come  to  a  conclusion  that  will  forever  settle 
an  old  question  that  has  been  recurrent  at  every  convention  of 
this  fraternity  for  years.  Surrounded  by  influences  that  stand 
for  effective  and  practically  productive  work,  these  men  come 
to  us  full  of  life  and  action,  full  of  sincerity  of  purpose,  full 
of  aspiration  for  service,  and  with  an  outlook  that  is  devoid 
of  much  of  the  haziness  that  characterized  the  outlook  of  those 
who  have  been  taking  classical  courses.  Who  will  say  that  the 
fraternity  has  not  been  benefited  greatly  by  getting  into  these 
schools  that  send  us  such  virile  men?  After  all,  as  a  college 
president  said  recently,  *  *  Culture  is  what  is  left  when  what  you 
have  learned  at  college  has  been  forgotten,"  and  we  must 
admit  that  the  evidences  of  true  culture  are  just  as  many  in  our 
men  from  Purdue,  from  Massachusetts  Institute  of  Technology, 
from  Illinois,  and  other  schools  that  are  predominantly  agri- 
cultural and  engineering,  as  they  are  in  the  men  from  Indiana, 
from  Yale,  Columbia,  Stanford,  or  any  other  that  is  pre- 
eminently literary  and  scientific  in  its  curriculum.  Let  us  con- 
gratulate ourselves  on  an  insight  that  permitted  us  to  admit 
these  chapters  and  that  will,  I  hope,  permit  us  to  admit  many 
others  of  the  same  kind,  as  we  to-day  admitted  Iowa  State.    It 


872  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

was  a  "furriner"  who  discovered  America,  as  the  Irish  immi- 
grant said,  and  it  will  doubtless  be  found,  when  the  history  of 
the  fraternities  is  written,  that,  though  these  associations  were 
formed  in  the  first  place  to  promote  classical  scholarship,  the 
men  from  the  technological  and  agricultural  schools  will  have 
contributed  as  much  to  the  development  of  fraternities  and  to 
the  attainment  of  the  fraternities'  highest  functions  as  the  men 
who,  like  myself,  took  courses  in  the  liberal  arts. 

Indiana,  brothers,  is  midway  between  the  east  and  the  west 
— ^not  physically,  in  a  strict  sense,  but  from  the  standpoint  of 
the  sense  of  communities.  And  from  this  central  position  we 
hold  out  one  hand  to  you,  brothers  of  the  East,  and  the  other  to 
you,  brothers  of  the  "West,  and  form  the  connecting  link  in  that 
great  golden  chain  that  is  nation-wide.  My  one  great  wish 
to-night  is,  brothers,  that  you  of  the  Pacific  and  you  of  the 
Atlantic  may  have  the  same  deep  sense  of  the  solidarity  of  Phi 
Gamma  Delta  that  we  of  Indiana  have,  and  that  our  one-ness 
of  purpose,  in  whatever  direction  we  purpose,  may  bring  about 
a  greater  and  grander  fraternity  than  any  of  which  we  have 
dreamed. 


THE  EXILES'  TOAST. 

Frank  Norris. 

The  Phi  Gamma  Delta  college  fraternity,  whose  members  are 
popularly  known  as  the  "Fijis"  (Phi  G's),  has  the  distinction  of  in- 
cluding many  literary  lights.  It  is  to  this  group  of  "Greeks"  that 
Lew  "Wallace,  Maurice  Thompson,  Meredith  Nicholson,  Arthur  Colton 
and  Frank  Norris  have  belonged.  No  member  was  more  enthusiastic 
than  Norris,  who  instituted  what  Is  known  as  the  "pig  dinner,"  a 
banquet  accompanied  by  ceremonies  peculiar  to  this  body,  and  which 
the  chapters  of  the  fraternity,  since  Norris'  death,  call  the  annual 
"Norris." 

Every  Thanksgiving,  The  Poodle  Dog  Caf6,  of  San  Francisco,  wap 
reserved  for  the  Fijis  of  local  chapters  and  the  resident  alumni,  and 
a  dinner  was  served  especially  for  this  party,  Norris,  a  member  of  the 
University  of  California  chapter,  among  them.  At  the  dinner  held 
on  the  occasion  of  the  California-Stanford  football  game.  Thanksgiving 
Of  1901,  Norris  was  unable  to  be  present.  But  he  sent  "The  Exiles' 
Toast,"  printed  here,  which  is  as  intimately  characteristic  of  the 
force,  virility  and  good  fellowship  of  the  man  as  anything  else  he 
ever  wrote. 

*^GesundheitI    Ach  mein  lieber  vriendts,  dot  note  she  gome 

to-day, 
You're  dinin'  bei  Der  Poodle  in  der  same  ol'  jolly  vay; 
Vile  me,  Ach  Gott,  der  lieber  Gott,  I've  rit  me  down  undt  vept 
Dat  your  kind  invitationing  I  can  not  yet  agcept. 
Der  Poodle!    Doan'd  I  know  her  blace?    Say,  blind  mein  eyes 

oop  tighdt 
Undt  standt  me  bei  der  Plaza  on,  I  findt  der  Haus  all  righdt. 
Der  glass-vare  I  've  ge-broken  dere,  der  sboons  I  hef  ge-stole ! 
Der  viskey  Chimmie  Vhite  hef  drunk  from  aus  der  sugar  bowl ! 
Ach,  dose  vere  days,  der  Gibbs  he  knows,  undt  Mairsch  he 

knows  ut,  too, 
Undt  Hethauern  could  ree-member  yoost  a  leedle  ting  or  two, 
Undt  dot  poy  Earnie  Hoentersohn,  he's  leedle,  put,  oh  my  I 
lie  uef 'r  sets  his  schooner  down  until  he's  drunk  her  dry. 

373 


374  AFTER-DINNER  SPEEQIES 

Undt  utzt  Wallie  Every-bit,  who  alleways  knows  ut  alle; 
Undt  Gibbons — "loaf-of-vomen" — ^he  leads  shermans  at  Lunt*s 

Halle. 
Undt,  den,  Ach  hoch  das  Vaterland!  dere  iss  der  soldier  man,* 
Der  terror  of  der  Sbaniards  in  der  charge  of  San  Jooan, 
Der  awful  Captain  Sailf ridge,  he's  a  howlin*  martinet 
(Ven  speakin'  to  him,  touch  der  cap.    He  loafs  dose  etiquette). 
Undt  Booksie  Balmer  he  gomes,  too,  dot  quiet  leedle  poy — 
Dey  galls  him  vhen  he's  vairy  goot,  der  sewing  circle's  joy. 
Undt  Hoomphries,  he's  der  sly  one,  undt  he  knows  der  historie 
Von  efry  Fiji  chapter  in  der  land  from  sea  to  sea. 
Undt  Pilly  Shmidt  undt  Emory,  dey  dose  deir  leedle  stunts 
Fallutin'  mit  der  "Younger  Set"  each  Saturday  at  Lunt's. 
Hi  alle  you  Grads,  you  lucky  Grads,  who  dis  T'anksgiving  Day 
Can  shtop  at  home,  joost  tink  of  us,  der  Exiles  far  avay. 
Dere's  Chunky  in  Geneva,  undt  dere's  Corbett  in  Paree, 
Undt  D-doodle's  gone  to  Noo  Orleans,  undt  in  Noo  York  dere's 

me; 
Undt  Hooston's  in  St.  Louis,  undt  dere's  Rethers — Gott  knows 

vair — 
Ve  sits  undt  vaits  undt  vatches  undt  ve  groan  undt  tear  der  hair ; 
Ve  reckons  oudt  der  difference  in  der  time  undt  efry  one, 
Ve  says  oudt  loud,  **Dey  hef  kicked  off,  der  game  hef  joost 

begun," 
Undt  ve  ain'dt  dere  to  see  ut  played,  undt  ve  ain'dt  dere  to  yell, 
Undt  ve  ain'dt  dere  to  see  der  team  joost  knock  'em  into  Hell. 
Vail,  ven  you  all  sits  down  again  to  eat  dot  Poodle  lunch, 
You  alle  joost  try  to  vancy  dat  ve're  mit  you  in  der  bunch. 
Here's  to  der  team!    Bel  Gott — stand  cop— dis  ain'dt  no  usual 

drink; 
Stand  oop.    Hands  'round  between  us  alle,  it  is  der  gommon  link. 
Standt  oop — it  is  der  Exiles'  Toast — ^ve're  mit  you  alle  to-day; 
Ve're  back  vonce  more  in  der  ol'  blace,  undt  back  again  to 

schtay. 

•  These  lines  to  be  accompanied  by  the  discharge  of  musketry  [rattling 
of  steins  on  the  table]. 


THE  EXILES'  TOAST  375 

Standt  oop,  stand  oop;  vrom  East  undt  Vest,  ve've  gome  to  be 

mit  you ; 
Ve're  dinin'  at  Der  Poodle  joost  as  vonce  ve  used  to  do. 
Dis  day  ve  show  eur  colors  undt  let  alle  der  eagles  scream, 
For  ve're  dinin'  at  Der  Poodle  undt  ve're  drinkin*  to  der  team." 

Very  fraternally, 

Frank  Nobris. 


YOUR  HEALTH  I 

William  Allen  Wood. 

This  toast  was  proposed  at  a  small  private  company.  It  is  repro- 
duced here  because  of  the  historical  allusion,  whether  accurate  or 
not,  to  the  origin  of  health  drinking. 

This  happy  company  has  asked  me  to  interrupt  the  festivi- 
ties at  this  point  to  express  to  you,  our  guest,  on  behalf  of  us  all, 
our  appreciation  of  you  as  a  friend,  a  companion,  and  all  the  best 
that  is  implied  in  the  expression,  **a  good  fellow."  We  wish  to 
back  up  the  material  expression,  in  the  form  of  this  feast  in 
your  honor,  with  our  word,  which  comes  from  our  hearts,  that 
we  shall  greatly  miss  your  kindness,  your  graciousness,  your 
brilliant  mind  and  your  good  cheer  from  among  us. 

With  the  permission  of  the  company,  I  shall  recall  an  incident 
of  far-away  times  when  the  Danes  were  in  England  and  it  was 
customary  with  them,  while  an  Englishman  was  drinking,  to 
take  that  opportunity  to  stab  him — ^much  as  the  hunters  in 
Africa  now  take  advantage  of  wild  animals  when  quenching 
their  thirst  at  waterholes,  to  kill  them.  To  guard  against  this 
Danish  treachery,  the  English  entered  into  an  understanding 
among  themselves  to  be  mutual  pledges  of  security,  while  drink- 
ing, and,  therefore,  when  the  Englishman  of  that  somewhat 
formal  period  drank  in  the  presence  of  his  friend,  his  plea  to  that 
friend  was  expressed  somewhat  in  this  fashion :  *  *  Sir,  I  am  afraid 
that  some  malicious  Dane  will  stab  me  or  cut  my  throat  while  I 
am  drinking.  I  therefore  beg  of  you  the  favor  to  watch  carefully 
that  I  may  drink  in  safety."  The  friend  should  reply,  "Sir, 
I  wiU  pledge  you  and  be  your  surety."  The  thirsty  one  then 
continued,  "I  am  greatly  obliged  to  you,  sir;  your  health,  that 
you  may  live  till  I  have  done  drinking,  and  save  me  from  his 
wicked  intentions."  This  is  said  to  be  the  origin  of  the  drink- 
ing of  healths.    One  might  infer  from  all  the  ceremony  that  the 

376 


YOUR  HEALTH!  377 

English  of  those  times  were  long  and  heavy  drinkers,  but,  be 
that  as  it  may,  as  the  famous  comedian  says,  the  custom  is  some- 
what picturesque  to  us  as  we  visualize  it  now. 

You,  sir,  are  among  friends  and  may  drink  freely  at  this 
board  to-night,  and  so  much  do  we  esteem  you,  and  so  much 
do  we  believe  the  community  esteems  you,  that  if  there  were 
one  among  us  here  or  one  in  the  community  who,  personifying 
the  ancient  Dane  and  trying  to  stab  you,  during  a  period  of 
inattention,  or,  as  we  say,  behind  your  back,  with  that  modern 
weapon  of  malice,  the  hateful,  lying  word,  we  are  sure  he  would 
not  be  successful,  for  we,  your  friends,  here  and  in  the  city, 
pledge  you  we  would  be  your  sureties.  And  in  the  faith  that 
we  are  to  some  extent  held  in  a  like  esteem  and  that  you  would 
so  pledge  yourself  to  us,  we  drink  your  health.  Gentlemen,  to 
the  health  of  our  friend  and  guest  I 


TO  THE  FRENCH  NAVY  AND  OTHER  ADDRESSES. 

Raymond  Poincaee. 

On  the  eighth  of  June,  1913,  President  PoIncar6  attended  the 
French  naval  review  at  Toulon.  In  the  evening,  at  a  banquet  in  his 
honor  on  board  the  dreadnaught  Michelet,  he  made  the  following 
address,  which  is  reproduced  in  his  native  language. 

Messieurs:  Le  merveilleux  spectacle  que  nous  avons  eu  la 
joie  et  la  fierte  de  contempler  hier  et  aujord'hui  me  laisse  le 
regret  de  n 'avoir  pu  assister  plus  longtemps  aux  manoeuvres 
qu'accomplit,  depuis  plusieurs  semaines  deja,  notre  vaillante 
flotte  de  la  Mediterranee.  J'aurais  eu  grand  plaisir  k  suivre 
pendant  quelques  jours  les  evolutions  tactiques  de  nos  escadres 
et  k  voir  notre  armee  navale  executer  au  moins,  sous  mes  yeux, 
un  des  trois  themes  d 'operations  qui  etaient  indiques;  mais  il 
ne  m'a  pas  ete  donne  de  participer  autant  que  je  I'eusse  desire 
k  ces  exercices  maritimes. 

J'emporte  cependant,  des  heures  trop  courtes  que  je  viens  de 
passer  a  bord,  une  impression  qui  ne  s'effacera  point. 

Des  hier  matin,  a  ma  sortie  de  Toulon,  lorsque  les  quatre 
escadres  se  sont  portees  dans  un  ordre  majestueux  au-devant  du 
Jules-Michelet,  j'ai  senti  toute  la  beaute  d'une  grande  force 
disciplinee  et  methodique,  maniee  par  un  chef  dont  I'esprit  et  la 
volont6  vigilante  sont  presents  k  la  fois  sur  toutes  les  unites. 
[Vifs  applaudissements.]  Le  simulacre  de  combat  qui  a  eu 
lieu  ensuite,  et  qui  nous  a  donne  une  si  emouvante  fiction  de  la 
realite,  I'intrepidite  ,des  attaques  entreprises  jsuccessivement 
par  les  sous-marins  et  les  torpilleurs,  la  splendide  revue  qui  a 
couronn6  ces  deux  inoubliables  journees,  tout  a  demontre,  une 
fois  de  plr.s,  la  valeur  de  notre  materiel  naval,  I'infatigable 
devouement  de  nos  officiers,  I'heureux  entrainement  de  nos 
Equipages.     [Applaudissements.] 

Dans  son  patriotisme  eclair^,  le  pays  supporte  depuis  de 

878 


TO  THE  FRENCH  NAVY  379 

longues  ann6es,  sans  lassitude,  les  lourdes  charges  que  lui  im- 
posent  Tentretien  et  le  perfectionnement  de  ses  moyens  de 
defense.  II  salt  que,  pour  gtre  stir  d 'eloigner  de  nous,  si  jamais 
elles  se  produisaient,  les  menaces  de  guerre  ou  les  tentativea 
d 'humiliation,  nous  avons  le  devoir  d'etre  toujours  forts,  tou- 
jours  calmes  et  toujours  prets.  [Nouveaux  applaudissements.] 
Le  Parlement,  qui  est  I'interprete  des  sentiments  de  la  nation, 
ne  recule  devant  aucun  sacrifice  pour  porter  au  plus  haut  degr6 
de  puissance  notre  outillage  militaire  et  naval,  pour  mettre  nos 
armees  de  terre  et  de  mer  en  mesure  de  f aire  face  avec  le  plus 
de  eelerit6  possible  k  des  ev6nements  inopines.  Nous  avons  pu 
constater  ici  que  tant  d 'efforts  ne  demeurent  pas  steriles. 

Sur  quelque  batiment  qu'ils  naviguent,  a  quelque  rang  de  la 
hi^rarchie  qu'ils  servent,  nos  marins  pratiquent  avec  une  sim- 
plicity touchante  les  vertus  les  plus  nobles.  L 'esprit  de  dis- 
cipline, d 'abnegation,  d'heroisme  sont  devenus  chez  eux  une 
seconde  nature.  La  France  elie-meme  pent  se  mirer  dans  les 
yeux  de  ses  braves  enfants.  EUe  y  voit  briller  d'un  eclat  inalt4r6 
toutes  ses  qualites  traditionnelles.     [Vifs  applaudissements.] 

Et  je  veux  unir  aujourd'hui  dans  un  meme  temoignage  de 
gratitude  et  d 'admiration  nos  marins  et  nos  soldats.  EUe  aussi, 
notre  armee  de  terre,  a  le  regard  obstinement  fixe  sur  le  drapeau. 
Elle  aussi  s'empresserait  tout  entiere  k  la  voix  de  la  patrie,  le 
jour  ou  la  France  en  peril  appellerait  ses  enfants  a  son  secours. 
Elle  aussi  n'a  qu'une  ambition:  c'est  de  demeurer,  a  toute  heure 
et  en  toute  occasion,  digne  de  la  confiance  nationale.  [Applau- 
dissements reputes.] 

Je  leve  mon  verre  en  I'honneur  de  la  marine  frangaise;  je 
16ve  mon  verre  en  I'honneur  de  nos  troupes  de  toutes  armes  et  je 
vous  convie,  messieurs,  k  boire  avec  moi  a  la  Republique  et  ^  la 
France!     [Applaudissements  prolonges.] 

At  the  dinner  given  to  the  delegates  from  the  Comitd  France- 
Am^rique,  given  on  the  seventeenth  of  June,  1912,  in  Paris,  on  their 
return  from  placing  Rodin's  statue.  La  France,  a  gift  of  France  to 
America,  at  the  foot  of  the  monument  erected  in  honor  of  Samuel 
Champlaln  on  the  border  of  the  American  lake  bearing  his  name,  M. 
Polncarg,  who  was  then  president  of  the  council  and  minister  of  for* 


880  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

eign  affairs,  speaking  after  M.  Hanotaux,  of  the  French  Academy  and 
President  of  the  ComIt6  France-Amfirique,  the  American  Ambassador, 
Myron  Herrick,  and  others,  said: 

Mesdames,  Messieurs:  Je  ne  veux  pas  laisser  se  terminer  ce 
channant  banquet  sans  aequitter  envers  le  Comite  France- 
Am^rique  une  dette  gouvernementale.     [Sourires.] 

Vous  venez  de  donner  une  nouvelle  preuve  de  ce  que  peut, 
pour  le  bien  public,  ce  que  vous  appeliez  tout  a  I'heure  I'indi- 
viduel  dans  Tinternational,  e'est-a-dire,  laissez-moi  le  definir 
autrement:  la  libre  initiative  de  citoyens  Iprsqu'elle  est  pro- 
voquee  et  soutenue  par  un  homme  de  haute  intelligence  et  de 
grand  coeur  comme  notre  Eminent  ami  M.  Gabriel  Hanotaux. 
[Vifs  applaudissements.] 

Des  que  les  fitats  de  New-York  et  de  Vermont  eurent 
entrepris  d'eriger  un  monument  commemoratif  a  propos  du 
triosieme  centenaire  de  Champlain,  notre  ambassadeur  k  Wash- 
ington, dont  on  faisait  tout  k  I'heure  un  eloge  si  merite,  a,  bien 
entendu,  informe  le  ministere  des  Affaires  etrangeres  de  ce 
pro  jet  amical.  Nous  ne  pouvions  demeurer  insensibles  a  cet 
hommage  spontane  que  deux  fitats  de  la  grande  Republique 
americaine  se  proposaient  de  rendre  a  Tun  des  plus  illustres 
enfants  de  la  vieille  France. 

Mais,  vous  I'avouerai-je,  Messieurs,  le  ministere  des  Affaires 
i^trangeres,  livre  a  lui-meme,  aurait  ete  probablement  fort  embar- 
rasse  pour  trouver  une  combinaison  qui  nous  permit  de  nous 
associer  dignement  k  eette  commemoration.  On  tourna  tout 
naturellement  les  yeux  vers  le  Comite  France- Amerique,  qu'on 
savait  toujours  pret  a  resserrer  nos  liens  avec  les  nations  du 
Nouveau  Monde  et  qui,  en  effet,  saisit  avec  empressement  cette 
heureuse  et  nouvelle  occasion  de  rapprochement  et  d 'accord 
fratemel. 

C'est  ainsi,  Messieurs,  que  fut  ouverte,  sous  les  auspices  du 
Comite,  cette  fructueuse  souscription,  grace  a  laquelle  un  chef- 
d'oeuvre  de  notre  genie  national  put  etre  place  la-bas,  sur  les 
bords  de  ce  lac  Champlain  dont  Hanotaux  faisait  tout  a  I'heure 
une  description  si  pittoresque,  et  y  perpetuer  1 'image  de  notre 
Patrie.     [Applaudissements.] 


TO  THE  FRENCH  NAVY  381 

C'est  ainsi  6galement  que  fut  recrut^e  cette  mission  volon- 
taire  qui  est  allee  representer  aux  fitats-Unis  et  au  Canada — et 
y  representer  avee  quel  eclat,  vous  le  savez — ^1 'esprit  frangais, 
les  lettres  frangaises,  I'art  frangais,  1 'eloquence  frangaise,  le 
courage  frangais,  bref  toutes  ces  vertus  ^ternelles  de  la  race  k 
laquelle  appartenait  Samuel  Champlain.     [Applaudissements.] 

Le  gouvernement,  Messieurs,  ne  pouvait  que  suivre  d'une 
pensee  sympathique,  et  malheureusement  lointaine,  cette  bril- 
lante  delegation.  Et  c'est  avec  une  reconnaissance  emue  et  un 
peu  envieuse  que  j  'ai  regu  les  radiogrammes  et  les  cablogrammes 
qui  me  signalaient  les  etapes  successives  de  ce  voyage  triomphal. 

Maintenant,  comme  le  disait  Hanotaux,  le  reve  est  termine; 
mais  apres  le  reve,  par  bonheur,  il  reste  la  realite,  et  la  realite, 
c'est  une  nouvelle  ceuvre  d 'union  et  de  Concorde,  fecondee  par  le 
souvenir  et  consacree  par  le  culte  commun  des  grands  morts. 
[Vifs  applaudissements.] 

Je  bois.  Messieurs,  k  1 'entente,  inteUectuelle,  morale  et 
6conomique  de  la  France  et  des  nations  am^ricaines.  [Vifs 
applaudissements.] 

On  the  occasion  of  the  visit  of  President  Poincar6  to  England  in 
1913,  a  banquet  was  given  in  his  honor  at  Buckingham  Palace  on  June 
twenty-fourth.  The  London  Times  of  June  twenty-fifth  gave  the  follow- 
ing account  of  the  banquet:  "The  State  Banquet  at  Buckingham  Palace 
was  a  very  brilliant  affair.  There  were  one  hundred  and  thirty  distin- 
guished persons  at  the  banquet,  and  they  were  seated  at  fourteen  sep- 
arate tables.  In  the  middle  of  the  banqueting  room  was  an  oblong 
table,  at  which  sat  the  King  and  Queen,  the  President,  members  of  the 
Royal  Family,  and  Ambassadors.  The  tables  were  lighted  from  gold 
candelabra  and  massive  electroliers  set  high  In  the  partially  arched 
roof,  and  shaded  by  cut  glass.  The  floral  decorations  were  in  the 
French  national  colours,  the  red  of  the  Tricolour  being  supplied  by 
choice  English  roses,  the  white  by  orchids,  and  the  blue  by  delphinium. 
The  tables  were  tastefully  decorated  with  these  blooms  set  in  golden 
vases,  and  the  famous  gold  plate  from  Windsor  was  set  off  with  mag- 
nificent effect.  A  guard  of  honour  of  the  Yeomen  of  the  Guard  formed 
a  cordon  round  the  whole  range  of  the  tables." 

After  the  banquet  the  King  proposed  the  health  of  the  President  In 
the  following  terms: — 

Je  suis  on  ne  pent  plus  heureux.  Monsieur  le  President,  de  vous 
souhalter  la  blenvenue  dans  ce  pays  et  de  vous  dire  comblen  Je  suis 


382  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

sensible  &  la  courtoisie  que  vous  me  tSmoignez  en  me  faisant  visite  si 
tot  aprds  votre  Installation  dans  I'Sminente  et  haute  position  que  vous 
occupez. 

Les  rapports  que  nos  deux  nations  voisines  ont  entre  elles  depuis 
bien  des  sidcles  ont  permis  d,  chacune  de  profiter  de  la  culture  intel- 
lectuelle  et  de  la  prosp6rit§  matSrielle  de  I'autre:  un  accroissement 
progressif  de  respect,  de  bienveillance  et  d'accord  mutuel  en  est  le 
rfisultat.  Depuis  la  signature,  en  1904,  des  actes  diplomatiques,  qui 
ont  si  amicalement  mis  un  terme  k  nos  diff^rends,  les  deux  nations 
ont  coop6r6  harmonieusement  et  cordialement  aux  affaires  d'un  int§r6t 
international,  et  elles  se  sont  senties  attirSes  Tune  vers  I'autre  par  un 
m€me  IntSrgt  et  un  but  identique.  Nos  Gouvernements  ont  constam- 
ment  en  vue  le  maintien  de  la  palx  et  des  deux  cdtSs  nous  nous  efforgons 
de  parvenlr  &,  ce  noble  but. 

Ces  demiers  mois,  lorsque  de  graves  questions  Internationales  se 
succfidaient,  I'esprit  de  conflance  et  de  franchise  mutuelle,  avec  lequel 
la  France  et  la  Grande-Bretagne  ont  abord6  ces  divers  probl6mes,  a 
prouv6  qu'il  6tait  d'un  avantage  inestimable.  Nous  6prouvons  une 
Vive  satisfaction  k  constater  qu'en  presence  des  difficultSs  serieuses 
que  I'Europe  a  travers6e,  tous  les  efforts  des  grandes  Puissances  in- 
t6ress6es  n'ont  pas  cess§  de  tendre  vers  la  paix. 

Je  m'estime  particulifirement  heureux  d'avoir  comme  hote  un  homme 
d'6tat  aussi  distingu6  par  ses  services,  et  de  reputation  si  haute  que  son 
nom  n'est  pas  seulement  Eminent  parmi  ceux  des  hommes  politiques, 
mais  qu'il  occupe  une  place  dans  cette  illustre  Acad6mie,  que,  depuis 
prfis  de  trois  sifecles,  fait  la  gloire  de  la  France  et  I'envie  de  I'Europe. 

Je  d6sire  aussi  vous  faire  part,  Monsieur  le  President,  de  ma  vive 
appreciation  de  vos  sentiments  de  respect  et  d'estime  a  I'Sgard  de  mes 
illustres  pr6d6cesseurs:  la  Reine  Victoria  et  mon  P§re  bien-aim§.  Deux 
fois  dans  le  courant  de  I'annSe  derniSre,  vous  avez  exprimg  ces  senti- 
ments d'une  maniSre  aussi  aimable  qu'Sloquente.  Je  vous  assure, 
Monsieur  le  President,  qu'ils  m'ont  profondSment  6mu  et  qu'ils  resteront 
toujours  grav6s  dans  ma  mSmoire. 

Je  16ve  mon  verre  pour  vous  souhaiter.  Monsieur  le  President,  bon- 
heur  et  prosp6rit6;  pour  vous  assurer  des  voeux  sincSres  que  je  forme 
afln  que  la  grande  nation  frangaise  jouisse  d'un  glorieux  avenir  et  que 
les  relations  entre  nos  deux  pays  se  continuent  dans  une  €trolte 
Intimitfi  et  avec  une  vitality  inalterable. 

The  President  said  in  reply: — 


Sire, — ^Le  cordial  accueil  que  vent  bien  me  faire  Votre 
Majeste,  les  marques  de  sympathie  qui  me  sont  prodiguees, 
depuis  mon  arrivee,  par  le  Gouvernement  Royal,  Tempressement 


TO  THE  FRENCH  NAVY  383 

que  met  le  peuple  de  Londres  k  feter  le  repr^sentant  de  la 
France,  provoqueront,  chez  mes  compatriotes,  un  mouvement 
general  de  joie  et  de  reconnaissance. 

En  saisissant  avec  gratitude  Toccasion  que  Votre  Majesty 
m*a  si  aimablement  offerte  de  lui  rendre  visite  des  cette  annee,  je 
me  suis  tout  k  la  fois  propose  de  lui  donner  k  elle-meme  un  gage 
de  mes  sentiments  personnels  et  d'apporter  k  la  grande  nation 
britannique  le  fidele  souvenir  de  mon  pays. 

Pour  me  faire  ce  soir  I'interpr^te  de  1 'opinion  frangaise,  je 
n'ai  qu'^  me  rappeler  les  eloquentes  demonstrations  dont  j'ai  ete 
maintes  fois  le  temoin;  comme  1 'annee  derniere,  sur  les  rives  de 
la  Mediterranee,  lorsqu'en  des  solennites  que  Votre  Majeste  a  la 
bonne  grace  de  n 'avoir  pas  oubliee,  une  foule  enthousiaste 
acclamait  la  tenue  martiale  des  equipages  royaux;  ou,  comme 
hier  encore,  lorsqu'a  mon  depart  de  France,  la  Normandie 
fremissante  multipliait  les  vivats  a  I'adresse  de  I'Angleterre. 

L'amitie  que  unit  les  deux  nations  est  aujourdTiui,  chez  I'une 
et  chez  1 'autre,  profondement  enraeinee  dans  I'ame  populaire. 
L'histoire  et  le  temps  se  sont  charges  de  la  cultiver  eux-memes. 
EUe  etait  en  germe  dans  I'estime  traditionelle  que  les  siecles  ont 
developpe  entre  la  Grande  Bretagne  et  al  France,  et  qui  n'a  pas 
laisse  de  grandir  jusque  dans  les  dissentiments  passes. 

Le  jour  ou  ont  ete  heureusement  r^glees  les  questions  qui 
semblaient  mettre  en  contradiction,  sur  plusieurs  points  du  globe, 
nos  interets  respectifs,  les  deux  peuples  ont  enfin  c6de  k  leurs 
dispositions  naturelles;  leur  mutuel  respects  s'est  peu  k  peu 
double  d 'affection  et  k  la  courtoisie  de  leurs  relations  anciennes 
s'est  ajoutee  sans  peine  une  confiante  intimite. 

Au  cours  des  graves  ^venements  qui  se  sont  suce6d6  depuis 
quelques  mois  qui  ont  tenu  1 'Europe  si  longtemps  en  alerte  et 
qui  ne  sont  pas  sans  lui  causer  encore  des  preoccupations 
B^rieuses,  nos  deux  Gouvernements  ont  pu  apprecier,  tous  les 
jours,  les  bienfaits  d'une  entente  qui  leur  a  permis  d'etablir 
entre  eux  une  collaboration  constante,  d'6tudier,  en  plein  accord, 
les  problemes  pos^s  et  de  ce  concerter  ais^ment  sur  les  solutions 
d^irables. 

Dans  cette  co-operation  quotidienne,  ils  n'ont  pas  cess6  de 


384  AFTER-DINNER  SPEECHES 

s 'employer  k  conjurer  1 'extension  ou  la  reprise  des  hostilitSs  et  h. 
pr^venir,  entre  les  Grandes  Puissances,  des  conflits  dont  les  con- 
B^quences  seraient  incalculables. 

Comme  I'Angleterre,  la  France  s*est  felicit6e  de  pouvoir 
travailler  k  cette  oeuvre  de  paix  avec  le  concours  pers^verant  de 
toutes  les  Chancelleries  et  elle  continuera,  du  meme  cceur,  k  faire 
effort  pour  que  rharmonie,  dont  TEurope  a  donn6  1 'example 
salutaire,  ne  soit  pas  troublee  dans  I'avenir. 

Je  l^ve  mon  verre  en  I'honneur  de  Votre  Majeste,  de  Sa 
Majeste  la  Reine  qui  m'a  accueilli  avec  tant  de  gracieusete,  de 
Sa  Majeste  la  Reine  Alexandra,  de  Son  Altesse  Royale  le  Prince 
de  Galles,  qu'il  m'a  ete  tres  agreable  de  revoir  k  Paris  cette 
annee,  et  de  toute  la  Famille  Royale. 
Je  bois  k  la  prosperity  et  4  la  grandeur  du  Royaume-Uni 


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